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When a narcissist accuses you never loving them · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on? Beautiful people.
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  Today we're talking about when a narcissist accuses you of never
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  loving them. You never loved me, Happy You
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  never loved me, did you? If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist. And welcome to another episode
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  of The Narcissist Code. So welcome back, Welcome back,
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  Welcome back. Yes, yes, yes.
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  Y'all this happens quite a bit. You never loved me, did you?
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  You never you never ever cared about me, did you?
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  You. There's no way you love me or
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  cared about me. Blah blah blah Boo Boo BBB.
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  That that does happen quite a bit.
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  I know people hear this. Y'all heard this phrase or
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  something very similar to it, because it's a crazy lot of
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  narcissists and types of people use, you know, when they say
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  this, they are trying to weaponize your empathy.
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  A lot of time they don't think you never loved them.
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  Let me be real with you. Some of them couldn't say.
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  Some of them think that, yeah, some of them might actually
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  think that. A very small percentage might
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  actually think that. But most of them know you love
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  them and cared about them because you put up with a lot of
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  stuff before. But now they're trying to
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  weaponize your empathy against you.
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  They're trying to weaponize your compassion against you.
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  They're trying to weaponize the fact that you care about them,
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  the fact that you do care about them against you.
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  They know you care, y'all they know.
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  But in order to get you to, in order to drain you of all the
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  empathy that you have left for them, they need to say this type
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  of weirdo stuff to you to get you to feel bad, to get you to
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  feel like you are the aggressor and they are actually the victim
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  in this situation. They need to feel like the
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  victim in order to avoid accountability.
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  Because if I can avoid accountability, then it's not my
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  fault. I can always blame you, can't I?
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  If I can avoid accountability by any means possible, then it's
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  not my fault, is it? You know, it really is not my
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  fault. How?
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  How is it my fault If this happened?
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  You know, how is it my fault? If there you know, how is it my
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  fault, Lee? Like, I I didn't know this would
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  happen. I didn't know it would go like
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  this. Like, no, no, no, I didn't.
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  I didn't think it would. I didn't think it would be like
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  this. That's part of the dynamic,
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  y'all That is part of the space that a lot of people fall into.
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  You're dealing with toxic, narcissistic people.
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  Something to keep up my computer.
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  Y'all. Yeah, but that's the space that
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  you fall into. And that's why I needed a lot of
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  people to realize, like, this is the space.
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  Like, they know you care. But in order to get you to feel
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  bad for them, in order to get you to give them another chance,
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  in order to get them to play on your empathy, to weaponize the
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  feelings that you do have for them, the feelings that they
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  know you have for them because you've, you've put up with a
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  lot. They need to say it again.
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  You never cared about me, did you?
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  Yo, you? Have you ever heard a narcissist
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  or anybody say that during the good times, when things are
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  going well, when they've been, when you've been treating them
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  well, when they've been treating you well?
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  Have you ever heard anybody say that?
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  Have you ever just rolled over, Had had your partner roll over
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  on the couch when everything was going good, Looked you deep into
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  your eyes and say, hey, you never cared about me, did you?
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  You, you never hear that, did you?
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  You never hear that during times, when the times are good,
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  but when it's time to hold their feet to the fire or to hold them
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  accountable, or for them to take some, you know, to take some
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  responsibility for their actions.
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  Now, now it's You. Never cared about me now is You
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  were never there for me now. It's.
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  You never believe me now because they want to make you feel
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  guilty now. You never hear it during the
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  good times, do you? There's a reason why.
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  Because they don't need it. It's in their back pocket, right
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  here. Keys in my keys and wallet in my
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  left pocket. Phone in my right pocket.
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  Guilt trips in the back pocket. Guilt trips in my back pants
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  pocket. What you say?
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  You trying to hold me accountable for cheating on you?
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  You going to leave me? Why Are you going to believe
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  your friends? And your lying eyes and
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  screenshots and voicemails and text messages and a signed
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  confession over me? Wow.
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  Guess what I got in my back pocket?
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  Swipe. You never cared about me, did
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  you? Swipe.
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  You never give a damn about me. Swipe.
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  You never want to be happy anyway, did you?
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  You never really gave us a chance, did you?
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  Swipe. Y'all got to let them look.
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  Y'all got to let them stop letting them swipe that damn
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  accountability. Gift card.
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  Get out of jail. Gift card.
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  Y'all. You're not playing like you're
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  not playing Monopoly. This is your real life.
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  This is absolutely your real life.
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  This is the the dilemma that a lot of people are facing in
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  these spaces, you know, So they say something if they open their
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  mouth and say, oh, you never cured about me.
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  You never gave a damn about me. Like this is this is all about
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  you. You're a selfish person.
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  You're this, you're that like you.
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  There's a reason why I treated you like that.
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  Because you act like that. No.
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  There's a reason why they say that.
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  Because they want to make you feel guilty.
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  They know you care. That's the wild thing about it.
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  They know that you care. They know it.
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  That's proof. Why are you?
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  You mean they like, think about this.
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  Y'all they didn't put up with you.
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  They they y'all have been together for years or months,
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  however long this ain't. This is not the first argument
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  you've had. But now they they pulling out
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  their woodwork. Well, you never cared about me.
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  You never you never loved me, did you?
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  When you're kicking them out your house for trying to beating
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  on you, when you're filing a restraining order, when you
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  refuse to drop the charges, it's always a bad situation.
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  When they are accusing you of this, it's always when they've
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  done something wrong to you. When all of a sudden, out of
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  nowhere, now, you never cared about me, did you now?
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  Because you refuse to drop the charges.
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  You refuse to. You refuse to just sit down and
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  meet them face to face. You refuse to give them closure
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  after they've treated you horribly.
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  Now it's you never cared about me.
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  You never loved me. Now, huh?
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  Y'all look at the timing of it. Look at the timing of this, of
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  the entirety of this thing. Look at the timing, because it's
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  important. This is not an accident.
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  This just didn't happen on accident.
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  Like they didn't accidentally say this.
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  They've been holding it up and saving it up because they know
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  you care. They know you've been putting up
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  with a lot of stuff. They know that you've been
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  tolerating a lot of stuff. They know that you've forgiven
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  them for stuff that you shouldn't have, shouldn't have
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  forgiven them for. They know it.
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  And they're hoping, they they hoping you got one more in you.
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  You know, they hoping you got one more forgiveness in you.
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  They hope. They hoping that they praying
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  on. They're praying for it.
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  I know you. Look, you're not like that.
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  You're not the type of person that's going to take me for my
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  kids on you. I know I beat you up.
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  I know I beat you. I know I beat you into within an
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  inch of your life. I know.
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  I know it. But you going to take me for my
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  kids? You never cared about me, didn't
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  you? You never gave me a fool.
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  You never even gave us a real chance.
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  But look how you're doing me right now.
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  Yo. They know you care.
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  They know you cared. But if you keep forgiving them,
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  like how much forgiveness do you have in you?
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  I'm not. I'm not saying you shouldn't
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  forgive, but reconciliation, you should not forgive them, you
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  know? But the reconciliation part is a
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  whole different ball game. You don't have to reconcile with
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  somebody that hurt you. Who cares that they are?
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  At the end of the day, who cares if they tell you that they you
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  never cared about me, who You never loved me because you know
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  you did. They're trying to.
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  They got, if you think about it from a different perspective,
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  they're trying to gaslight you and they question your own
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  reality. Did I ever love this person?
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  You know you did like you. You.
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  And this is right, right? This is what happens right here
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  in a lot of times in this situation.
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  You're trying to explain yourself how you love them.
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  You tried to give them examples on how you how you cared about
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  them. You tried to give them examples
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  and tell them and talk to them, but they already know.
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  They just want to do. They just want to get you
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  talking Because if they can get you talking, they feel like they
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  won. If you think about it from that
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  perspective, they feel like if I can get this person talking, if
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  I can get you talking, then I feel like I won.
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  Because think about it from that perspective right there.
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  If we're talking, they mean if we're.
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  If you're responding to me, if you're trying to explain to me
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  how you how you show me love, then I'm winning, aren't I?
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  You know, if you're trying to explain it to me, then we're
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  still in communication. At least you haven't cut me off.
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  At least you haven't win. No contact, you know, hurry up.
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  At least you haven't done that. So I'm still in it.
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  I'm still in the game. There's there's still a chance
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  for me to win. So they feel like, they like.
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  They feel like if you get into them, they feel like this is how
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  it's going to go. They feel like they have a
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  chance. They have a shot.
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  Because if you're explaining to me how you love me, and I know
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  you've already shown me through your actions before, then we.
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  I'm winning, you know? Then I won, then you haven't.
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  Like, you're not going to give up.
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  You. You haven't given up on us yet.
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  There's still a chance for us to be together, right?
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  Like you haven't given up on us, have you?
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  Huh. You make sure you get, make sure
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  you fight for us. You're not going to fight for
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  us. Yeah.
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  Oh, my goodness. That's another.
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  That's another one of those phrases for a different day
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  right there. So you're not going to fight for
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  us on you? You're not going to fight for us
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  at all? No.
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  Nothing. OK.
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  I guess I got to go. I got to go here and get Spain.
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  That's the space. That's the dynamic that a lot of
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  people face right there. Y'all it really, really is.
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  So I'm just telling you, if you're dealing with a narcissist
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  or a tax person that says one of those phrases, you never cared
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  about me, you never gave a damn about me, you never loved me.
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  Just think that they're trying to avoid accountability.
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  Think about the timing. Think about the the timing of it
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  all. Like, damn, this is very The
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  timing is very peculiar here, because you never said that when
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  things were going good. You never question my love when
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  things are going good. But when things are going bad
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  because of something you've done all of a sudden, it should never
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  love me. It would.
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  You know that's a that's a space y'all.
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  You never loved me, did you? That's the mindset.
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  Maybe with y'all think y'all would tune into another episode.
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  I truly appreciate everything going.
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  Y'all but the hell this is out peace.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  You are a mental illness Rockstar and I appreciate you
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  for being here. If you haven't already, make
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  sure to click on the screen to subscribe to the channel and
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  watch another one of my videos on my playlist.
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  There's also a link available up here for you to purchase my
• 11:04
  kids. But remember, it's not your
• 11:06
  fault on Amazon so check that out.
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  Thank you. I will see you in the next
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  video. Peace.