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Happy Hour #173: The Introvert Activist · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Any, this is any and SMITHA and hocome stuff.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: I never told you Protection by Heart radio.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: And welcome to another happy hour in which I just
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: talk about my problems. Shall we do that before we start?
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: Of course, we are not currently being sponsored by anything
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: we are talking about. Unless they do, then you know
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: you'll hear the sponsorship, but right now not necessarily. Also,
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: if you are partaking of happy hour ritual and consuming
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: of adult beverages or such, do so responsibly. We want
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: you to be healthy, y'all. Any are you sipping on anything?
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: Nothing special, nothing.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: Special, but if you're drinking it, it's special.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: No, thank you. I'm drinking cold coffee, and I actually
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: remember today that I used to have a saying with
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: my friends. When the coffee is cold, the conversation is done.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: So well, yeah, so Samantha.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: Now oh no, yes, Well, I am drinking some bubble
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: water with some electoral lights because I'm gonna try to
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: stay hydrated, like a hydrated coin over here. Yeah. So
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: today I decided I wanted to talk a little bit
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  Speaker 1: about my introversion because recently, I don't know if y'all
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: heard today is by the way. June seventeenth, twenty twenty five.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: So the day we're recording this comes out on Juneteenth.
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  Speaker 1: Happy June tenth everyone to those who celebrate, Love you.
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  Speaker 1: But what we just had the No Kings protests all
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  Speaker 1: over the country and millions of people showed up in Atlanta,
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: thousands of people showed up and came to the rally.
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  Speaker 1: They mixed out the area that was reserved for us,
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  Speaker 1: and then they were out in the street and pouring out.
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  Speaker 1: So it was a beautiful thing to see. One of
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: the things that I had gone back and forth about
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: was because we've been talking about all of our ailments
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: that have happened between Annie and I, which you know,
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: seems to always happen in clusters. I don't know. We
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: are really connected at me too, You're really connected. I
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: don't know if it's a good thing, but we're connected anyway.
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  Speaker 1: But with that, yeah, so I've had a lot of
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  Speaker 1: issues with some like pinched nerves and pain in like
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: all these other ways. And yes, y'all, I have actually
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: seen the doctor three different times.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: Wow, good for you.
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  Speaker 1: Thanks. Yeah, still in pain a little bit, but it's okay.
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  Speaker 1: We're still we're figuring things out. We're figuring it out.
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  Speaker 1: But with that, you know, I was thinking maybe I
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  Speaker 1: shouldn't go to these protests because I was not feeling well.
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  Speaker 1: It's been a lot painful. I've not been exercising, which
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  Speaker 1: is unusual for me, like I love my dance grew
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  Speaker 1: and my like like zooma glasses and I I have
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  Speaker 1: not gone. So it says a lot for me not
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  Speaker 1: to go, because I will try to go no matter what.
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  Speaker 1: I would rather do that than even social hangouts. Sorry friends.
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  Speaker 1: But with that on top of that, I went back
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  Speaker 1: and forth, and a part of the thing is like
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  Speaker 1: this could be I will admit an excuse to not
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  Speaker 1: go because I don't want to be out with the crowds.
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  Speaker 1: Like I was very nervous. I was very very like
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  Speaker 1: freaked out, trying to figure out what all to do.
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  Speaker 1: The anxiety like I got to park somewhere, Where do
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  Speaker 1: I park? Where? How can I leave? What happens here
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  Speaker 1: if we do get like arrested, What do I need
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  Speaker 1: to do? My partner's not here, who's my emergency contact? All?
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  Speaker 1: So so many things are going through my head. And
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  Speaker 1: at one point we were I did go, and we
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  Speaker 1: were standing in the middle of the crowd. A good
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  Speaker 1: friend of mine was next to me, and she knows
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  Speaker 1: me very well. She's known me from college. We were listening,
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  Speaker 1: it was getting hot and we were heating. It was
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  Speaker 1: like very crowded. Obviously we had a good crowd, which
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  Speaker 1: was great. At one point though, she turn us to me,
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  Speaker 1: she was like, how overstimulated are you? Genuine it was
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  Speaker 1: like very much, and that's all I could say. And
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  Speaker 1: then the girl in front of me turn around she goes,
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  Speaker 1: oh my god, me too. That's kind of like the moment.
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  Speaker 1: And then everything went down and people did decide to march.
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  Speaker 1: I just physically could not stay in there for much
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  Speaker 1: longer because just not being able to move all that
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  Speaker 1: has a thing. So but I did go, and there
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  Speaker 1: was a lot of things that's crossed my mind in
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  Speaker 1: that I can't A lot of part of like, oh,
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  Speaker 1: I'm kind of glad I was not super healthy in
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  Speaker 1: that I had an excuse to leave, which made me
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  Speaker 1: feel guilty. So we really thought about the fact that, yes,
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  Speaker 1: I've become more of an introvert. I wouldn't say I'm
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  Speaker 1: a complete introvert, even though in my mind I'm becoming
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  Speaker 1: more and more and I would more identify with that
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  Speaker 1: than I would say, being an extrovert for sure, but
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  Speaker 1: with that, like, how do introverts do in activism? What
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  Speaker 1: do the ideas go forward those types of people, because
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  Speaker 1: it is it's a struggle in such a different way
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  Speaker 1: with people who have anxiety, with people who have OCD,
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  Speaker 1: with people who have all these different types of mental
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  Speaker 1: health that really just blocked them from the being able
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  Speaker 1: to do things, and then in turn that becomes guilt.
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  Speaker 1: And of course I needed to find out that there
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  Speaker 1: was any articles about that, and there are. There are
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  Speaker 1: tons of articles, one specifically from introvert dear dot com,
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  Speaker 1: which was fantastic. I was like, all right, well they've
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  Speaker 1: gotten me to list and when was talking about the
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  Speaker 1: introvert guilt about not hanging out with people, wanting to
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  Speaker 1: be social but not being able to do so, feeling
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  Speaker 1: like you're hurting people's feelings if you don't do things
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  Speaker 1: right or do things immediately, or be a part of something, like,
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  Speaker 1: there's so much to that. There's another article which I
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  Speaker 1: thought was interesting written by that person, You're Welcome, written
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  Speaker 1: by Suzanne Berger, who talks about the fact that it
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  Speaker 1: could be also called, specifically with activism, moral distress. And
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  Speaker 1: I was like, oh, so apparently. A philosopher named Andrew
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  Speaker 1: Jameson called it a moral distress. It's this idea that institutional,
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: systemic barriers prevent us from acting with integrity, and so
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  Speaker 1: therefore we feel like, oh my god, we feel like
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  Speaker 1: if we are the worst people in the world. I
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  Speaker 1: don't know, I know, you know, I know you know
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  Speaker 1: inverse what I'm talking about, because it's that back and forth,
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  Speaker 1: and then the guilt either way of afterwards because I'm
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  Speaker 1: so awkward I made that if it worse, I'm so
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  Speaker 1: you know, all these things that I'll have that conversation
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  Speaker 1: and then like you feel like you have to make
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  Speaker 1: excuses with your friends. I can't come out because of
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  Speaker 1: these things, which most of the time, again, if I'm
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  Speaker 1: making excuses, they're probably true. They are true, they're true,
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  Speaker 1: they're true, they're true. But it's it's definitely feeling still
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  Speaker 1: guilty that they don't believe you or you're making excuses.
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  Speaker 1: And I'll again coming today with this activism on top
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  Speaker 1: of the layers of anxiety, being overwhelmed with the news,
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  Speaker 1: feeling like you can't do enough, feeling like there's nothing
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  Speaker 1: you can do. They're feeling like you're so overwhelmed with
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  Speaker 1: all of the bad things, that what you're doing is
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  Speaker 1: not enough even if you are doing things. So there's
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  Speaker 1: so much to be said in this conversation, and I can't, y'all.
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  Speaker 1: It's constantly in the back of my head, and a
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  Speaker 1: part like being even more so of an introvert, keeping
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  Speaker 1: isolated to myself feels like it's making it worse. And
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  Speaker 1: again I will say, so, my partner has been gone
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  Speaker 1: for a couple of weeks now having to do things,
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: and it feels weird. And I was just telling Annie
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: before we got on how I've lost all track of
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: space and time because nothing not my normal. I'm putting
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  Speaker 1: this in quoes pattern. Daily's routine is now out the
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  Speaker 1: window even more so, and so it feels so overwhelming.
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  Speaker 1: And I'm just because I feel like even though I
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  Speaker 1: was already online chronically online, I am more so now
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  Speaker 1: because I have one I don't have the person that
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  Speaker 1: I talk to or like, you know, and we talk
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: on the phone all the time, don't get me wrong,
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  Speaker 1: but it's still not the same as him coming downstairs
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  Speaker 1: or May going upstairs, or us eating together, deciding food
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  Speaker 1: or deciding if we need to go out or not,
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  Speaker 1: or if we having someone to buy groceries for, because
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  Speaker 1: I'm the one who goes out for all that it
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  Speaker 1: just is gone kind of right now. So I feel
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  Speaker 1: even more like and towards myself, even more introverted. And
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  Speaker 1: so as activism and things are going online, and I
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  Speaker 1: don't know if it's the timing or again if it's
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  Speaker 1: more I have time on my hands of seeing all
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  Speaker 1: these kidnappings of immigrants and refugees that we're seeing, all
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  Speaker 1: these new laws coming into place, all these new war
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  Speaker 1: crimes that are happening, all of these scary assassinations so
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  Speaker 1: much that it feels like I, yes, I need to
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  Speaker 1: do something, but again, I don't want to be out there.
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  Speaker 1: I don't want to talk to people. Talking on the
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  Speaker 1: phone sounds like hell. So what can we do? I say,
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  Speaker 1: very quietly. There have been people who do talk about
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  Speaker 1: this as an issue, and again we're going to introvert
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  Speaker 1: Dear dot com who talks about being an activist while
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  Speaker 1: being a quiet introvert. And three of the things that
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  Speaker 1: they say you can be an activist is participate in
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  Speaker 1: the ways that feel best to you, even if that
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  Speaker 1: means working behind the scene. And I think that's not
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  Speaker 1: said enough about working behind the scene, talking about whether
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  Speaker 1: it's helping with funding, which I think is so important.
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  Speaker 1: Unfortunately we need they need funding. People need funding to
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  Speaker 1: get resources out to talk about governmental stuff. I hate
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  Speaker 1: that there can't be changed unless that's happening. Funding things
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  Speaker 1: that are being defunded is really important as well. They
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  Speaker 1: talked to about like and I love this too, helping
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  Speaker 1: to make signs and banners, even if you're not going
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  Speaker 1: to assisting others, because unfortunately for me, I have no
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  Speaker 1: art talent, but if I did, that would be an
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  Speaker 1: amazing way. I really suck at that too. Also bad
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  Speaker 1: at puns, which apparently is a thing, and that's the
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  Speaker 1: way that but also the way that we can help.
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  Speaker 1: We can also talk about so much more when it
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  Speaker 1: comes about behind the scenes. I can't even think about
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  Speaker 1: it right now because I'm overwhelmed with trying to think
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  Speaker 1: about the art signs. There are so many signs any
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  Speaker 1: and then talk about no one expressing your boundaries. I
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  Speaker 1: think that's maybe where I get uncomfortable that when I
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: try to push my boundaries, I feel even more vulnerable
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  Speaker 1: and really really like out of sync over myself, which
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  Speaker 1: is something that I need to think about. And then
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  Speaker 1: also they talk about don't forget about your creature comforts
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  Speaker 1: slash earplugs. That's what I forgot because when something gets
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: really loud and I get over stimulated, I do shut down,
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: which is kind of what happened. And I really because
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  Speaker 1: also like when there's other noises because we're outside at a rally,
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  Speaker 1: people are talking and jump, you know, pumped up, and
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  Speaker 1: we had amazing speakers, and then people would go behind
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  Speaker 1: me chanting things that I was like, what's happening And
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: then apparently there was another rally that was happening because
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: they couldn't be in the same rally, so but I
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: could hear both. I should have had an airplex. Yeah, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: I know that's probably uh obvious, but I didn't think
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  Speaker 1: about that. Also doing things that are sustainable again, doing
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  Speaker 1: things that are not going over Like I get so
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  Speaker 1: excited with ideas, but then I get very very quickly
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  Speaker 1: burned out because it becomes so overwhelming and there feels
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  Speaker 1: like it's taking on too much, and I don't ask
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  Speaker 1: for help and that becomes a whole other about problem.
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  Speaker 1: Focusing on everything focused on what you're doing and what
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  Speaker 1: the moment is, and I guess I forget that. Honestly,
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  Speaker 1: our job partially is also activism. I forget that often.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: I do too, But I have to say, in light
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: of my recent health events, I yep, like, oh, this
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  Speaker 2: is very stressful about this.
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  Speaker 1: It really is. It really is to not be able
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  Speaker 1: to disconnect from it. It's really hard being like I
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  Speaker 1: literally went through several things. I'm like, Okay, we can
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: talk about this, we can talk about this, we can
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: talk about this. But if we don't we talk about
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: normal day issues. I feel like we're failing the today issues.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: There's so many issues to be covered, but things like
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: this is important. They also holding. I think we forget
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: too that we one of our jobs, and I hope
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: we do it. We do it well. I hope we
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: do it in consciousness like holding in a safe space.
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  Speaker 1: So bringing people who are doing that work in activism
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: already out there, who are known for it to be
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: able to be a part of the show or who
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: are doing activism and any more platform that we're able
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: to give this platform to them. That is a part
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: of the activism, and that is a part of the
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  Speaker 1: activism for so many whether it's people just like reposting.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: I guess that are like really good information, talk about
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: like your rights, immigrants rights and what you need to
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: know about that, protesters rights, what you need to know
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: about that. Groups like thesolidarity dot org funds for different organizations.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: Those are really important to look at and understand. Trying
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  Speaker 1: to weed out the disinformation is also really hard work
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  Speaker 1: and important work. There's a lot that we can do,
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  Speaker 1: and I think we sometimes ignore that. I ignore that
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  Speaker 1: because it gets so overwhelmed at the bigger picture, the
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: louder picture, and feel like I'm failing. But there's definitely
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  Speaker 1: a lot to be out there. So to my other introverts,
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: my ambiverts who just get tired and overstimulated, to my
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: anxious peoples, you're doing a great job if only that
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  Speaker 1: you are at least acknowledging the disinformation, misinformation as well
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  Speaker 1: as the horrendousness of what's happening, and advocating for the
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  Speaker 1: people that need you that we need to be advocating for,
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  Speaker 1: for our queer people, for our trans people, for our refugees,
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: for those with immigrant parents and those who are immigrants.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: There's so much out there that we need to talk about. Though,
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: for those who are going through a genocide. There's a
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: lot to have this conversation, whether it's you're boycotting something
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: that is amazing. You're doing great, sweetie, You're doing great,
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: and it does work if we actually do it as
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: a collective. So that's my encouragement, also my whining moment.
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: Also some that advice if you want any of these
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: articles I pulled out about four of them that really
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: are great, and how they tell you to take care
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: of yourself so that you can't help others. And I
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: think again we forget that often when we're depleted and drained,
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: we are no longer of help to anyone. Yep, we're
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: just trying to figure out how to stay at the hospital,
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: aren't we, annie Yo?
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, But listeners, I know so many people you can
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: relate to this, and I know we've been talked before
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: about just a general accessibility issues at things like this
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: and why we shouldn't forget that. There are all these
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: other ways to participate. So if you would like to
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: share any of your stories or advice or whatever with
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: us great puns, you can. We would love to hear
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: from you. You can email us that hello at Stuffannever
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: Told You dot com. You can find us on Blue
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: Sky at mom Stuff podcast or on Instagram and TikTok
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: at stuff I Never Told You. We're us on YouTube
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: and we have a book you can get wherever you
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: get your books. Thanks as always too, our superduce Christina,
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: our executive producer and a contributor.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: Joey, Thank you and thanks to you for listening.
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: Stuff Never Told youstroduction of My Heart Radio. For more
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