Latest / Real STRength with Sarah Draper / Design a Life You Love | #5
Transcript
- Sarah Draper: Make a more intentional effort to look forward, to ask yourself, what am I working for? But without a vision, they become tasks. Tasks without vision lead to drift. Trying to distill everything into a tidy formula can sometimes lose the spirit or intent of a concept. Your vision isn't just about what you accomplish. It's about who you become in the process. Welcome to the Future Walk podcast. I'm your host, Sarah Draper. Each week on the podcast, I explore tools to help you lead your best now and into the future. And I talk with top leaders to see how they stay focused when life gets cluttered. It's time to stop reacting to your life and start leading it. Welcome to Future Walk. Welcome to the Future Walk podcast. I'm your host, Sarah Draper, and I'm so glad you're here. And if you're new to the podcast and especially warm welcome, I spent three decades in the army and the FBI leading national security operations, running high stakes operations. And through that work, I discovered that even the best leaders, and I have worked with some extraordinary leaders, even the best leaders struggle. when they don't create time to step out of the noise and think clearly. That's why I created the Future Walk. It's a simple practice to help you overcome things like reaction, disconnection, survival mode, and drift. It changed my leadership and my life. And I know it will yours too. In our last episode, we explored ancient walking practices from around the world. From Aristotle's Greece to indigenous Australia to the mountains of Japan. We saw how cultures across centuries have known that walking creates the conditions for transformation. It doesn't just bring it, it creates the conditions. Today, we're gonna dive into life design practices, again, now cultural wisdom about how to live with intention and purpose. We'll explore Ikigai from Japan, Pondavida, from Central America, Ubuntu from South Africa, and several other cultural practices about living with purpose. And then I'm gonna show you how to set a compelling three to five year vision for your life. This is key for you to do before you ever get to setting short term goals. Because if you don't know what you're working for, your goals, the short term goals, just become other tasks, additional tasks that are on your already long to-do list, and they will quickly succumb to whatever obstacles or loud noises or shiny objects you encounter. So by the end of today's episode, you'll understand how to design a life aligned with your purpose, not just accomplishments. know, most leaders are incredibly good at execution. You know how to set goals, to create plans and get things done. You're disciplined, you're driven, you work hard. But I see this over and over and it happened to me. mean, leaders who are working hard, but have lost the sight of what they're working for. That's drift. Drift is what happens when you spend years, maybe decades, putting your own interests and needs secondary. When survival mode becomes your default, instead of just a season. When you follow someone else's direction or path for your life instead of choosing your own. Then one day you look back and you wonder, how did I get here? Or maybe you remember things you used to do that once brought you joy or a sense of purpose, but you can't remember the last time you did them. Maybe you've never even had a clear sense of what you wanted in the first place. And now you're someone you might not really recognize. Now I am not suggesting you need to leave a job or leave a marriage or overhaul your entire life. What I am suggesting is this, make a more intentional effort to look forward, to ask yourself, what am I working for? Who do I want to become? What kind of life do I want to build? That's the difference between goal setting and vision setting. Goal setting's about what do I need to accomplish? Vision setting is what am I working for? Who do I want to become? What is the type of life I want to lead? Without a clear vision of working, you end up living reactively. You make decisions based upon what's urgent, what pays well, what's loudest, what other people expect, or what feels safe. But when you have a clear vision, When you know, you know what you're working for, everything changes. Your decisions become easier. Your priorities become clear and your energy becomes more focused and you're building something and towards something that matters. Today, we're going to look at how different cultures have approached living with purpose and intention. And then again, I'm going to walk you through a process to set your own three to five year vision, the foundation. for everything else and then what you do from there. So let's start in Japan with Ikigai. Particularly in Okinawa in Japan, they have this concept called Ikigai, which is your reason for being. The word comes from Iki, which means life and Gai meaning value or worth. Ikigai is about finding joy through purpose. In other words, your Ikigai is what gets you up every morning and keeps you going. And you might have seen Ikigai visualized as this four part Venn diagram with these four overlapping circles. What you love, what you're good at, what the world needs and what you can be paid for. There's something really important to consider. That Venn diagram isn't traditional Japanese Ikigai. It's a Western interpretation. And there's nothing wrong with that. interpretation that can be a useful framework for thinking about your career and purpose. But trying to distill everything into a tidy formula can sometimes lose the spirit or intent of a concept. The original concept of Ikigai, which dates back to Japan's Heian period from 794 to 1185, is much simpler and more personal. It's about finding joy and meaning in everyday life. Not about optimizing your career or finding the perfect intersection of passion and profit. Traditional Ikigai is about why do I wake up in the morning? What gives my life meaning? And it doesn't have to be grand or world changing. It could be like spending time with your grandchildren, tending a garden, creating art, teaching, connecting with nature, designing your own jewelry or helping an elderly neighbor. Maybe trying new recipes or creating your own, doing strength training and sharing your workout tips. I mean, it can really be anything. What matters is that it gives you purpose, meaning, and a reason to get up in the morning that actually fuels you. So Ikigai isn't a one-time discovery or a Venn diagram exercise. It's this daily practice of alignment. It's about living with purpose and finding joy in the small, meaningful moments of life. In Okinawa, where Ikigai is deeply practiced, it's one of the world's blue zones. These are regions where people consistently live to 100 years or more with lower rates of chronic disease. And researchers believe that having a clear sense of purpose, which is what Ikigai is, is one of the reasons Okinawans live so long and so well. Having purpose isn't just about being fulfilled, it's about longevity, health, and wellbeing. And connecting it to the future walk, you can take the visioning future walk, that longer 30 to 50 minute walk, and ask yourself, who do I want to be three to five years from now? And what am I building that excites me? This can help you identify your Ikegai. So you're not just setting goals, you're designing a life aligned with your purpose. Okay, we're going to move into Colombia and Costa Rica with plan to Vida in Colombia, among other indigenous communities. There's this concept called plan to Vida, which means life plan. The concept has roots in indigenous Colombian culture. And in the late 1980s and nineties, as indigenous communities in the cocoa region formalized this Plan de Vida as a framework to preserve their cultural identity and define their collective future while honoring their ancestral traditions and relationship with the land. And in Costa Rica, particularly in the Nicoya Peninsula, which is interestingly another blue zone, Plan de Vida has been deeply woven into the traditional lifestyle and values of the local population. Now I recently vacationed in Costa Rica and Pura Vida The pure life was everywhere. It's in greetings and on t-shirts and souvenirs. And that idea is just living life well in the moment. And it wasn't until I got home and I started researching for this episode that I learned about Planda Vida, which aligns so beautifully with what we're talking about today. This philosophy of living with purpose and intention with your life. Planda Vida is a holistic approach to living that integrates three dimensions. One is your personal wellbeing, that's your health, your growth, your purpose. The next is your community connection, your relationships, your contribution. And the third is environmental stewardship, your relationship with the land and nature. So it's not just about what you want to achieve. It's about how you want to live in relationship with others and with the earth. Plano de Vida recognizes that your life is not separate from the lives of others or from the environment you live in. When you envision your future, you're choosing how you show up in all three of those dimensions. In Costa Rica, the philosophy shows up in their commitment to nature. Over 25 % of the country's land is protected. They won the 2021 EarthShot Prize for restoring nature. This isn't accidental. is the plan to Vita philosophy in action. And the people in the Nikoya live long, healthy, purposeful lives, making it again, one of the world's five blue zones. Just like we saw with Ikigai and Okinawa, that's again, another blue zone. Here, having this clear sense of purpose and living alignment with it contributes to longevity and wellbeing. So whether it's Ikigai or Plan de Vita, the pattern's consistent. Purpose-driven living leads to longer, healthier lives. The three dimensions again, your personal wellbeing. This is about your health, your growth and your purpose. What do you need to thrive? What brings you joy? What are you working towards? The community connection is about your relationships and your contribution. What matters to you? Who matters to you? How do you want to show up for them? What do you want to contribute to your community? And the third is environmental stewardship, your relationship with nature and the land. How do you want to care for your environment? What legacy do you want to leave? So connecting it to the future walk, you can take a vision in future walk, whether solo with a spouse or partner and ask where do and how do I want to be or how do we want to be three to five years from now and consider all three of those dimensions of plan to Vita again, personal wellbeing, community connection and environmental stewardship. You're not just planning your career, your finances, right? When you talk about this in your visioning future walk in terms of these three areas, you are envisioning your life across those three dimensions, personal, relational, and environmental. Okay, we're gonna go to South Africa where there is a philosophy called Ubuntu, which translates to I am because we are. Now I was introduced to Ubuntu when I was teaching a leadership class at the FBI National Academy. I had a senior law enforcement officer from South Africa in my class and he shared about Ubuntu in his final leadership paper. I asked him to share about it with the whole class and he graciously did. And honestly, the impact on the other students was as profound and deep as it had been on me. I am because we are. Ubuntu is the understanding that we are all fundamentally interconnected. Your wellbeing and my wellbeing are inseparable. When I design my life, I must consider how it impacts you and the community. It's a practice of designing life with awareness of our interdependence. Ubuntu challenges the Western ideas of individualism. It says, you can't design a good life in isolation. Your life is interwoven into the lives of others. This has profound implications for leadership. When you make decisions, you're not just thinking what's best for me. You're thinking what's best for us. Ubuntu reminds us that success, wellbeing and purpose are not individual pursuits. They are collective. Ubuntu shows up in how you make decisions that consider the impact on others. prioritize relationships in your community, lead with empathy and connection, and design your life in a way that uplifts others, not just yourself. So you can do a weekly future walk and bring this in. You can take that 20 to 30 minute walk with a spouse or a partner or a key relationship at the start of the week and practice u-buntu by being with that person, recognizing your success, your well-being, and your purpose. are connected to the person who's with you as well as others around you. You're tending to relationships in your community. And when you ask someone what's most important to you this week and how can I support you, you're living this idea of Ubuntu. You are living and creating that life with awareness of your interdependence. Okay, there's a bunch of other cultural practices. I wanna briefly introduce to what we've already talked about with Ikigai, Planda Vida and Ubuntu. They are not by any stretch the only cultural practices that teach us how to live with intention and purpose. Across the world, different cultures have developed their own frameworks for designing meaningful lives. And here are a few more. In Sweden, they have lagom, which means just the right amount. Not too much, not too little. So at designing with sustainability rather than excess, you can take a vision in future walk and lagam helps you ask not how much can I achieve, but what's the right amount for me that I need to thrive. In Denmark, there's Huga, which is about creating cozy, comfortable content moments with intention. It teaches that quality of life comes from intentional. choices about how you spend your time and who you spend your time with. When you envision your future, HUGA reminds you to design for how you want to feel, not just what you want to achieve. In New Zealand, the Maori have a practice called Whakapapa, which is about understanding yourself as a part of a continuum between ancestors and future generations. Your decisions today honor those who came before and serve those who come after. And you can ask, you what do I want to build? Fakha Papa helps you like remind you to think beyond your lifetime and consider a legacy. There's a Celtic tradition called thin places. And this is locations where the boundary between the physical and the spiritual world is thin, places where you can access deeper wisdom. These are often found in natural settings like mountains and coastlines and forests. When you take a vision in future walk, you can create your own thin place, that space where the boundary between your current reality and your future vision becomes thin enough to see through and see into it. In ancient Greece, they had a concept of the right moment called kairos. Now they had two words for time. One is chronos, the chronological time. and the other is kairos, the right amount or opportune moment. Kairos teaches you that timing matters. Some moments are ripe for change and transformation. And you can tap into this with a visioning future work by creating that kairos moment, stepping out of the daily grind, which is that chronos, that chronological time, and accessing the right moment for clarity. And in Buddhism, There's a idea of the concept of the beginner's mind, is Shoshin. It's about how you approach situations with openness and a lack of preconceptions. Helps you see possibilities you miss if you approach your future with fixed assumptions. When you take a vision in future walk, beginner's mind helps you ask what if without limiting yourself to past experiences. And I love the patterns with all of this, right? You've got the Ikigai in Japan, the Plum de Vida in Columbia and Costa Rica, the Ubuntu in South Africa, the Lagom in Sweden, the Whakapapa in New Zealand. I mean, these cultures from around the world have long recognized that living with purpose requires intentional practice. They've all created frameworks to help people do this. The vision in future work draws on this ancient wisdom. You're not inventing something new, you're practicing something that humans have known for generations. Clarity comes when you create the conditions for it. So let's take a step back for a moment and look at what we've explored so far today. Again, you've got Ikigai, finding your reason for being, what gives you life meaning and gets you up in the morning. You've got, and that's from Japan, you've got Pondovita from Colombia and Costa Rica. is about envisioning your life holistically, cross personal wellbeing, community connection, and environmental stewardship. We've Ubuntu from South Africa recognizing, I am because we are. Your life is woven into the lives of others. And then we touched on several others. Lagom, Sweden's balance and moderation. Hooga, Denmark's intentional living. Maori connection to ancestors and future generations, the Thames places, is a Celtic sacred spaces for clarity, Kairos, ancient Greece's right moment, and beginner's mind, the Buddhist openness to possibility. The wisdom across all of these is consistent. Living with purpose requires stepping in, asking the big questions and aligning your daily actions with your deeper. Visions, different words and traditions, but that same truth. The future walks, especially the vision in future. Wack is your practice for doing this. So now we're going to move into setting your three to five year vision. But before we do, if you are enjoying this podcast, please share it with someone else. You probably already know who could benefit from this. Just send them a link and a short note that you thought of them. They will appreciate it. It could change their life. Okay, let's get into that goal setting, that three to five year vision setting rather than the process of goal setting from there. So before you get to any goals, is long before you get to regular daily weekly goals, you've got to set a long-term vision. This is your foundation. And most people get this wrong by starting with those goals. Something like, I want to lose 20 pounds or I want to get promoted. I want to save $50,000. And these are all fine goals, but without a vision, they become tasks and tasks without vision lead to drift. the right order, and this is based on coaching science. So framework, I was trained in as a national board certified health and wellness coach. The right order, the evidence-based order for success is number one vision. What am I working for? Who do I want to become? What kind of life do I want to build? And then number two, you get to repeat a behaviors. What are those actions that will move me towards that vision? And then you, and only then do you get to your goals, your SMART goals, so specific, measurable, actionable, related and time bound goals to help get to those behaviors. This is long-term first, medium term second. short-term planning in that order. Most people skip step one and often skip step two. This causes them to get distracted by or stumble on any obstacle that comes their way. A compelling vision keeps your sights like fast and beyond the short-term challenges and helps you find a way to navigate around or through them versus being thrown completely off course. Vision, vision, vision's the foundation. Everything else builds on it. A clear three to five year vision gives you your destination aim for. Makes your decisions easier. Like you can simply say, hey, does this move me towards my vision or away from it? Helps you say no to things that don't serve that vision. Keeps you from getting thrown off course when obstacles arrive. Connects your daily actions to something meaningful. Without vision, you're reacting. With vision, you're designing. So how do you do this? I'm gonna walk you through kind of a framework if you will, or a practice I use with people like Coach. First, take a visioning future walk and walk with this one central question. And you can walk by yourself, you can walk with a coach or mentor or someone who's a part of your future with you, like a spouse or a life partner. Ask the question, who do I wanna be three to five years from now? And what am I building that excites me or what brings me joy or that I'm proud of? I mean, just choose the language that resonates with you. The question should feel intrinsically motivating and that's not about external validation, but something that pulls you forward. And it has these two parts. Who do I want to be? That's your identity and your character and how you show up. What am I building the contribution, the legacy or what you create both matter. Your vision isn't just about what you accomplish. It's about who you become in the process. A complete vision addresses multiple dimensions of your life too. So this is the second part. As you walk, think about those different dimensions, right? Personal wellbeing, that's the physical, mental and emotional, health and vitality, professional direction. What work am I doing? What impact am I having? What role am I playing? Your relational connection. What are the key, who are the key people in my life? How am I showing up for them? What kind of relationships in my building? Your contribution and your legacy. What am I contributing to my community and my field, the world? What do I want to be known for? Maybe for you, stewardship. How am I caring for the environment and the spaces I inhabit? What's my relationship with nature? You don't need perfect clarity in every dimension, but you should consider all of them. Your vision needs to be holistic, not just about your career or your health, but about the life you're building. I have to, and when I work with people, especially groups, I ask them to think about these things in terms of interlocking circles, right? And so you, you need a lot of different aspects and things you're focused on, because inevitably you're going to have challenges in one area or another. Maybe you have a personal life challenge and if you all your eggs, if so to speak, are in the personal basket and you have a challenge, what else do you have? Or, maybe you put all your effort into work. Well, one day maybe work, something happens with work or you want to retire one day, like, and you've not been investing in anything else. What else is there? So you really need to be thinking of your life in these different dimensions, not just one facet of your life. Okay. The next thing about this writing, this vision is to make it like so rich in vivid detail and there's this like emotional and compelling pull that drives you forward. It's this, it's a picture, a vision you can like see and feel and almost touch and it, can take many forms and you'll know when you get it. Like you'll, you'll be like, ⁓ yeah, that's totally, it just feels so right for you. could do a narrative description. You could do like your ideal day three to five years from now. You could do a vision board, people like those, maybe a drawing or a sketch or like a mind map, interconnected elements showing all these different dimensions of your vision. But you've gotta be detailed and vivid and description and it will feel right. You can just feel that excitement it gives you when you get it right. Something that is too vague as an example to compare these would be Like I want to be successful and happy. I mean, it sounds wonderful. Like what's I mean, right? This doesn't pull you forward. Something more vivid and compelling is I'm leading a team of 15 people who solve complex organizational challenges. I'm mentoring three emerging leaders who seek out my guidance. I sleep well. I walk every morning before work and I feel strong and clear headed. My family knows they're a priority. We have dinner together three nights a week with no devices and make kids know I'm present when I'm with them. And contributing to work that matters and I'm living in a way that honors my health and my relationships. Right? Very different from I want to be successful and happy. It's got to pull you forward. All right, then you tested. You're gonna. tested because by asking yourself a few questions, can you articulate your description in that detail, your vision in that vivid detail? Can you see yourself there? And again, does it pull you forward? Okay, now we're gonna take this next step and connect it to your repeated behaviors. Once you have that vision set though, just kind of let it marinate for a little bit. Keep tweaking it. You don't have to rush into this soon because that's gonna come. Just keep tweaking it. And once you start doing regular behaviors and working on those as well, you can keep tweaking that long-term vision. It is by no means set in stone. None of this is. But just maybe sleep on it for a night or two and really, you will know. It will feel really good when you read it or you look at it or you share it with someone else. that you've got your vision as something that really excites and pulls you forward. Okay, now these repeated behaviors, these are not things you're gonna start doing right away. These are behaviors you're gonna work towards doing regularly about three months from now. So these are things that will tie specifically to that long-term vision. And what behaviors will you need to be doing three or so months from now to get you to that long-term vision? So an example might be leading a team solving complex challenges while prioritizing health and family. If that's in your vision, a repeated behavior would be, could be like multiple things, right? Weekly strategic planning calls, daily morning workouts, weekly family dinners with no devices, monthly mentoring conversations with the emerging leaders. These are all behaviors that when done consistently will move you forward to your vision. But when you're, You're not again gonna start all of them today. You're building towards them over the next few months. So once you have your, set of behaviors you want to be doing and realistically know you can be doing in three months, only then will you set your closer goals. These are the daily or weekly SMART goals to help you work towards this repeated behaviors. This SMART goals are specific, measurable, actionable, relevant, or related to your longer term goals and then time bound. So weekly, for example, that behavior you want to be doing in three months of weekly strategic planning walks would be a smart goal this week would be take a 20 minute strategic feature walk every Monday at 8 a.m. for the next four weeks. Right. Very specific. And you're getting like a lot you start kind of big and obtuse a little bit, still pulling you forward and you get a little bit more specific with behaviors. But once you're down to these goals, this is something you're like check, check, check, check, check. It's very specific. I can measure whether I did it. It's a yes or no. It's achievable with my current situation. It's absolutely related to my long-term goal. And when am I gonna do it? And this, will continually update your goals and behaviors as you progress. And eventually you're gonna get to your vision, right? In a couple months, you'll readdress those three month behaviors and then change those. And eventually they'll lead you on the right path, avoiding drift that so often comes. That vision gives you the direction. You know where you're going. When those obstacles come, they will come. You can navigate around them or through them. before they throw you off course. And for me, it's not even so much the obstacles that come as I have like total shiny objects syndrome, like something else will look really exciting during this tough time. So I'll start to veer that direction. That vision pulls me back. Cause I asked that question, like, this really, is this really serving that long-term vision? No, it looks cool, but is it really helping me? And then make an intentional decision about it. Those repeated behaviors create your path. You, with these three month behaviors, you know what actions will get you there. You're building towards these. And then the smart goals build your habits. You know what you need to do this week to move towards those behaviors. And when you set your plan in this order, long vision, medium behaviors, short smart goals, your daily actions are automatically connected. They're embedded to that long-term vision. So this vision in Future Walk is so important. It is where you set the vision. You can take 30 to 50 minutes and ask yourself, who do I wanna be three to five years from now? And what am I building that excites me? Do that foundation work first and then come back and capture that vision in that vivid detail. Again, it be a narrative description, vision board, a drawing, a mind map, anything you create. for you that will have that emotional pull that keeps you moving forward through those challenges. Okay, so the thread that connects all of this from Ikigai to Plendavita to Ubuntu to Lagam to Fakapapa is the wisdom is consistent. Here it is, designing life with intention. It's essential to living well. When you combine that wisdom with the practice of the future walk, walking with these intentional questions, you create a practice as both ancient and timeless. In the visioning future walk, you're asking the same questions humans have been asking for centuries across the globe, across cultures. Who am I? What's my purpose? What am I working for? And you're using the same tools humans have used for millennia. You're walking in nature. to create the conditions for clarity. So this month, take a visioning future walk, 30 to 50 minutes, leave your phone behind, step into nature, walk at a slow, comfortable pace with or without someone, one person who can hold space for you or who's a part of your future with you and ask, who do I wanna be three to five years from now? And what am I building that excites me? And with that question three to five years out, might not, you might know like four and a half years from now, your youngest might be graduating college or whatever. Like you don't have to have that range, but get somewhere in that range. Who do I want to be when I am eligible to retire? And what am I building that excites me? You can add a milestone in there instead of that, that year range, but ask that question. Who do we want to be when we're eligible to retire? What are we building that excites us? Let the walking do the work. The clarity will emerge. And when you finish, write it down in vivid detail. Make it real, make it visible, spend some time, rewrite it. When you have it right, you will feel that pull towards it. That's your vision, that's your foundation, and everything else builds on it. Okay, to recap. Today we explored life design practices from around the world. Again, Ikigai, your reason for being. What gives your life meaning and gets you up in the morning? Plendivida, envisioning your life holistically across personal wellbeing, community connection, and environmental stewardship. Ubuntu, I am because we are recognizing your interdependence with others and several others. Lagam, which is balance and moderation. Huga, intentional living. Fakopapa, connection to ancestry and future generations. Thin places, these sacred spaces for clarity. Kairos, the right moment. And beginner's mind, which is openness to possibility. We talked about why setting a three-year to five-year vision is the foundation for everything else and has to be done first for you to be successful. in reaching that goals, that long-term goal. Okay, in upcoming episodes, we'll be interviewing leaders who've used the Future Walk to get unstuck, make better decisions and reconnect to their visions, or have found their own ways to stay on track when life tries to pull them off. You will hear their stories and their challenges and their breakthroughs. If you haven't listened to the early episodes yet, please go back and listen to get the full framework for the Future Walk. and how the different types work together. The first episode was an overview, then episode one was daily, or excuse me, episode two was daily, episode three was strategic, and episode four was a visioning walk. And the visioning future walk changed my life. It is how I've designed every major transition, every big decision, and every long-term goal, and it can do the same for you. So this month, step outside, leave your phone. Take to 50 minutes and design a future you're excited about and proud to live. Thank you for joining me on the Future Walk podcast. I'm Sarah Draper. I'll see you soon. Until then, enjoy your walk.