Latest / Your Thoughts Your Reality / Not the Label: Identity, Body Image, and Reconnecting with Who You Really Are with Yayoi Komiyama

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Not the Label: Identity, Body Image, and Reconnecting with Who You Really Are with Yayoi Komiyama · Your Thoughts Your Reality

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: Who are you without the label?
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_02: Not the role, not the title, not the version of yourself you've been trying so hard to maintain.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_02: For so many people, identity gets tied to body image, expectations, old stories, and the way we have learned to see ourselves.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_02: But the real transformation begins when we stop fighting ourselves and start reconnecting with who we truly are.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_02: Today's conversation is about identity, the first style of war, weight help, self-sabotage, and the powerful connection between the brain, the body, and the way our the way we see ourselves.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Your Thoughts, Your Reality with Michael Cole, the podcast that starts a compassionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life challenges.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Michael is a dual-elite certified neuroencoding specialist in 1915 of 2017, dedicated to guiding military veterans and defected interests of coastal point.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_02: Through her signature brain-to-belly coaching method, she helps people transform their relationship with food, body image, and self-worth.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_02: Her work focuses on rewiring through patterns that create self-sabotage and disconnection.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_02: We're going to talk about that today.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_02: And of course, Yayoi helps people reconnect with their authentic identity beyond labels, expectations, and old stories.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yayoi, welcome to your thoughts, your reality.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_02: Tell us a little more about your stuff.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you for having me today.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so excited to be here.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: And yes, my name is Yayoi Komiyama.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: I'm the founder of Brain to Belly Coaching.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: And it's funny that the Brain to Belly Coaching came about because I myself struggled a lot with my body image, with who I am.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: Identity was at the core of all of this.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: And weight health, all of that.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: And gosh, I I had suffered an eating disorder years, decades ago at this point, and had gotten over that and and then still struggled with my weight going on back and forth.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: And then it took me years of personal development, personal growth, really working on myself to find out what was really causing all of that, and getting to the root problem of it.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: The root of it was my identity and who I thought about myself, what I believed about myself.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: And getting to that really helped me to figure out to maintain a healthy weight.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: I've been probably at this weight probably since two for 20, 25 years, probably 27 years at this point.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: And but it took me a while to figure it out that it's okay to be here and to really start loving myself and to be okay with who I was, to accept me, yeah, as I am.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_02: I absolutely love that.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_02: So you let's I mean, I know you, right?
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_02: We've known each other for for multiple years now.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_02: I I'm I'm throwing the questions already out the window.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, throw them out.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_02: So let's just live in, we're friends, let's just talk, right?
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_02: So again, conversation is always the best conversation.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_02: So let's go back if we can to kind of when you were struggling.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_02: And what I wanted, you know, tell me about that first of all.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_02: What were some of the struggles you were having with that identity that you were living with or believing?
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_02: I'm saying the BS system, right?
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, gosh.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: You know, even as a kid, I had identity issues, right?
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: Because I was living, I was here in the US as a kid.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: This was back in the 70s, and you know, Asian families were still kind of rare where I was.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember going to school, this was when I was in San Francisco, and I think my sister and I were the only Asian people in our school.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: It was a private school too, but you know, that maybe it had an issue.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: But so you know from the onset that you're different, you look different, people treat you differently.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: And from there, I know also that my sister was the excellent student.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: She was the athlete, she was this, you know, excellent student, and I was kind of like the supporting, supporting role, and I think from there that identity was always, oh, I'm second best, I'm the supporting role.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: That came into play.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I had to be, and I was the older sister, so I always had to be the one that was looking after her, I had to promote her, kind of like, and I think that role and that identity made me feel like I couldn't show myself a lot, and also, you know, being different from everyone else, I had to kind of like be the good good sister, the I had to play all these roles, and I think that really yeah, made me feel like I couldn't be myself.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: And when I was myself, I kind of felt like people judged me.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_02: And and I think, you know, another silent word, but I won't get into it.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_02: But um I think we all deal with that at some point, right?
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_02: When we don't, you know, so and now I'm just gonna say something really quick.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yayoi Kilomiyama is in the neurocoding institute with me and and and so on.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_02: And when there's trainings, Yayoi is the one up there that's always moving, always celebrating.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_02: She has no problem living for a true idea that we have though.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it took me a while to be here, believe me.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: But you did, right?
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_02: So tell me why you think that uh became an issue with your with weight and your your your relationship with food.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because I mean, you know, living a life where you had to play different roles, you had to please everyone, food became my front.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: You know, food was the one thing that I could rely on, like a hundred percent.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it wouldn't talk back to me for one thing, right?
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it kind of did, and then I put the weight on.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: But, you know, it was it was something that I could take comfort in.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I know that even as a baby, I remember my mom telling me this story.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: My mom was very busy when I was born because we were in South Africa of all places because of my father's job.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: And and I think back then it was in the 60s, so you know that's when South Africa apartheid was pretty much you know prevalent.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: And my mother was busy because we were the only, I think my father was probably one of the few, very few Japanese people in South Africa at the time in Johannesburg.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: And we had a lot of entertaining to do.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: My mom had a lot of entertaining to do, you know, people from the from the bank with Japanese bank would come, she would have to entertain them, this and that.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: So she didn't have much time for me.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: And we had at the time, we had a nanny who took care of me.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, I would cry because I want my mom, right?
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: Right, naturally, as a baby, and the thing was they would say, Oh, just feed her.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_01: Let's let's give her food because that's probably what she wants, right?
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_01: To give her comfort.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: So I associated food with comfort from a very early age.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_02: So so food comforted you.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_02: It it didn't talk back, it let you be yourself, and and so on.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_02: Well, yeah, so so totally understand that.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_02: I I've never really thought about it in those ways before, you know.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm glad you're bringing this up.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_02: I think it brings a lot of light into you know the how people will use their past and not even realize it's a process.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it was yeah, it was kind of like my pacifier, right?
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: In a lot of ways.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I became your support, right?
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yep, totally.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: And then, yeah, just going through life, you know, we moved around a lot, of course.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: I was in, like I said, was born in South Africa, moved to Japan for about six months, and then we were living in the US, you know.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: And as a kid, I mean, kids are adaptable, they you know, adjust to whatever, but still you're like all this cultural shock is happening, right?
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: You're moving from one place to another, you're not really settled, and the only constant was food.
• 9:22
  unknown: Yeah, yeah.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely, absolutely.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_02: So and let me just also add, you know, kids are resilient, but doesn't mean that they those things don't change their their subconscious and personalities.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_02: You know, they may still move forward easily, it's easier than us because we don't have all the uh they don't have all the baggage.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_02: Right, yeah, exactly.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_02: So it's it's it's not that they're not affected, right?
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_02: So so can we dive now into you know you're when you started realizing, hey, there's a problem.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_02: Let's talk about that.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, something about right here.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_02: How how did that you know impact you?
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_01: So what really happened was my weight, I started to really gain a lot of weight when we moved back to Japan from the US, because that was a big change for me.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_01: I was probably like 11 or 12 when you're starting to really develop a personality, a self, your identity.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_01: And it really started to affect me was when we moved back to Japan.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I was I first of all, I didn't want to go back, of course.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I I had my life in the US as a kid, you know, I had my social groups and all of this, and I was like, why do I have to go back?
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: But you know, it was my dad's job, so we went back.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_01: And uh Yeah, Yo, how old were you?
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_01: I was 11 or 12.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, thank you.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: Very difficult age to go back to, you know, to be thrust into a different culture.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: And yes, I knew the language because my mother was very good about making it a point to only speak Japanese to us when we were in the in uh at home.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, she said, you know, I could speak, my sister and I would speak to her in English, but she would always come back to us in Japanese.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_01: And so that helped us at least that we were able to speak the language.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's great.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_01: But the thing was, you know, schooling-wise, we were way behind the Japanese school system.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: So I was more comfortable speaking English, of course, and even reading and writing in English, but we were thrust into the Japanese school system.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: Like we were told, go into the Japanese school system.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_01: So I went to a Japanese public school, and boy, was that like you know, yeah, it was like, oh my gosh, you know, girls have girls had to act a certain way, boys had to act a certain way.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I was a tomboy in the US.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: So that was like, oh boy, you know, big change.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_01: I remember the first day I wore a skirt to school, to the public school, everyone was like, Oh, she's wearing a skirt, she's wearing a skirt.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_01: Because I would always come in in jeans and a shirt, you know, because that was the way I dressed in the US.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: Right, right.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_02: So when you went through all of that, you know, did did you that's did you notice that's when the weight gained more so?
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, totally.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: That's when I started eating more and because yeah, I didn't have many friends.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so food really became the constant.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I would just eat to feel com you know, feel soothing.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_01: It was soothing to me.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: And a part of me also felt like I was creating this, I always call it my fat armor, my armor of fat, but it was like a shield that I created to protect myself from being hurt.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_01: And that way people can't hurt me, right?
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_01: Because I wasn't really, you know, I didn't have many friends, I didn't want to feel hurt.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_01: And that was my way to protect myself.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely get that.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_02: And and I think we, you know, we had Dr.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_02: Stephen Crawford on talking about armor a couple of days ago.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_02: So I totally get it.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_02: And we all build it up, just not we let it take over our lives to where it doesn't serve us anymore and it actually causes harm, right?
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_02: But we don't re it takes a lot to realize it and realize that that's that's the the issue.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_02: So let's let's uh we we've been in the darkness, right?
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_02: And the the white where you were.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_02: So let's crack open the line a little bit.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_02: When did you realize, hey, I gotta make a change and and how did you do that?
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_01: So I think when I realized it was it was still, you know, early on, of course, as a girl.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: We transferred, I transferred to a Jap to an all-girls Catholic high school, no, junior high school.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: And it was an international school, so they took me out of public school because they said, well, she probably needs an international, you know, atmosphere.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_01: You know, probably not acclimating really well with Japanese culture, international school would probably be best for her.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_01: So I went there, but it was an all-girls school, Catholic.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, girls can be really mean, you know, especially when you're heavy.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: So I learned then, you know, I that I was heavy and people were not nice about that.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember one, it was during the summer, we went to one of these, gosh, it's kind of like these water parks.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I was, of course, you know, my dad took a picture of me in a bathing suit.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: And oh my gosh, I saw that picture and I freaked.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, you know, being a girl, you notice all these things.
• 15:00
  unknown: Yeah.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_01: And that was when I started my first diet, probably.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_02: Got it.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_02: So, so it was it was paint play the principle, right?
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_02: Food wasn't enough to overcome what you saw.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_02: So so what where did you go from there?
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, we're gonna get into brain to belly in just a second.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_02: So you did you just do a bunch of different trying a bunch of different diets?
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_02: Were you successful?
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_02: What was your yeah?
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: What was your relationship with that's where I started my first diet?
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: I think I did, oh, yeah, I did all these different things.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_01: I even did the first Atkins diet that was out there, and I I was successful, you know, in losing a a good amount of weight from that.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: At the time, I think I was well, my height is I stopped growing vertically when I was probably when I was probably around 11 or 12.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm kind of let's just say I'm shy of five feet.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, on a good day.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe when I get up in the morning, maybe I'm five feet.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_01: And at the time, I think the heaviest I got I've gotten to was probably about 150 pounds, which was a lot of weight for somebody that's small.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_01: And so I started really, you know, losing the weight and work.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_01: My mom was really helpful in helping me stay on a diet.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: She would cook my lunches for me, she would make the meals for me and help me.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I would start exercising because that's you know, you read about all these things, exercise.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: I started running in my backyard, you know, just doing laps in the backyard, right?
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_01: And learning how to do that.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_01: And then, of course, you learn about a little bit about strength training.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: And because I was a tomboy, you know, I started doing all these things.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_01: And that helped.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, eating healthier, learning all of these things.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: I remember my doctor taking me aside, showing me this book on new nutrition and saying, these are carbohydrates, these are proteins, and you have to find, you know, he said, use this book to figure out what you can do so you can have a balanced meal.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_01: So he started me off on that actually.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_01: And and it was successful.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: I did lose, you know, I didn't lose like a lot of weight, but I was presentable, right?
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I felt comfortable.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_02: You felt good, yeah, yeah.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_02: So so then uh I guess that the next thing is, you know, because a lot of people start diet and they lose weight and they gain it back and no more, right?
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_02: And so there's the the the yo-yo effect, if you will.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm curious how you broke that.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: The yo-yo dieting.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: Well, over the years, of course, you know, I dieted and got, you know, I would stop, gain it back, but not that much.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_01: I would always gain a little bit.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_01: And but I think, yeah, but you know, having the eating disorder didn't help.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_01: I had what you call, it was called an exercise bulimic.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_01: So it was basically I used exercise as a way to purge and uh whatever I ate.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: So it was really like you know, you hear marathon runners or some runners saying, Oh, I have to run extra because I ate a cake last night, a piece of cake last night, or something like that.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_01: That was my whole life for the longest time.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_02: So your way to and I'm gonna use my perspective, the way you earned that food was you knew you'd work it off.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's what that's what I was doing.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, that got a little toxic, right?
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: So, and then of course, I got, you know, I went, I really was lucky that I got great treatment.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_01: I was got a whole team of doctors to help me.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_01: I actually went to a clinic outpatient, but I did go to a clique to help me deal with all that therapists, nutritionists, all of that.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: And that helped me a lot.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_01: But, you know, after that, of course, my weight got heavy, I got heavier because I didn't really change who I was up here.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_01: I was still sort of that girl that was always struggling to fit in.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_02: So that's what I wanted to hear about is that when you made the change, right?
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_02: And because again, a lot of people deal with not to you know the extent maybe you did, but we I think we can all in our lives, unless you're just born thin and stayed thin naturally your whole life, you we've all done this to some extent, right?
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_02: So, so what was it that that made the switch for you to keep the weight off and and have a healthy relationship with it?
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I think it was well, first of all, I never want I lost the weight, and I said, I never want to go back to feeling the way I did.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: And that feeling of it was so painful.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_01: You felt so alone.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_01: It was like when I was in the you know, depth of all of that, I felt like I was in a deep dark pit, right?
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: Clawing, literally clawing to get up.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, I'm never gonna do that again to myself.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it was also then that I realized that self-respect, that I deserve more love to myself.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I that's when I started reading all these self-help books, all this and that, that really helped me.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: And there was an author who dealt with eating disorders, her name was Janine Roth, and she wrote a book.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_01: It was one of one of the titles of her book was When You're Hungry, pull up a chair, pull up a chair to the refrigerator or something like that.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: And it was a really cool book.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember reading that and figuring out that she was saying, you know, it's really about who you are, how you start loving yourself.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's when I really started learning all of that and started really thinking about who am I?
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_01: You know, should I treat myself this way?
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember the phrase, would you say that to your best friend?
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_01: Ah, the things that you say to yourself.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_01: Because I'd, you know, I'd be in front of the mirror and I'd say, look at you, you look so awful.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_01: You look like a fat blah, blah, blah, right?
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and I would say all these horrible things to myself.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember one of the, you know, one of the books, or maybe it was Janine Roth, saying, Would you say that?
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_01: Or therapist, they said to me, Would you say that to your best friend?
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_01: And someone that you truly love and care about.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, No.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_01: And then they're like, Well, then why are you saying that to yourself?
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_01: And that was like, Whoa, Robbie.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you, yeah, it's like you don't consider that.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I was like, Oh my gosh, you're right.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_01: Why should I be?
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Saying that to myself, why why can't I hold myself more as a you know more preciously because life is so precious?
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: And and then I stuck, yeah.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I love it.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_02: So would you say that was the one of the pivotal points is just really thinking about and leaning into that?
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I think leaning into really having more respect for myself and for my body because I remember, you know, thinking when I had the eating disorder, I was like, this is bad, you know.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_01: What and I remember I I was taking fenfen at the time because that was the the it drug, kind of like Ozempic is now.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember I had to stop it because I was scared that it was gonna affect my heart.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_01: And then I started thinking, what am I doing to my body?
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, and all the abusive exercise I was doing.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_02: And absolutely.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_02: So can we talk about let's let's get into brain to belly if we can.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_02: I think we're kind of there.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_02: So so with brain to belly, tell us the relationship.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_02: And again, we we're friends, so I we've had this conversation, but tell us the relationship with brain and and bell.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so you know, the brain is really our CPU, right?
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_01: Like I always say, is like our CPU.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's what runs the whole body, it runs us.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, we as neuroencoders, we always go by the theor by the standard of as you think, so you feel, right?
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_01: So as you think, so you feel, as you feel, so you do, and as you do, so you have.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_01: So the think, feel, do have process.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, and what you think really affects how you feel about something.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_01: So when I was feeling like I was a loser, not losing weight, but loser in other ways, right?
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_01: I was thinking I'm a loser, I can't get anything right, I'm not gonna amount to anything.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_01: Those feelings that I created in my heart were like really affecting me.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_01: And then, of course, that's gonna affect my belly because that's affecting the way that I ate.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like, why should I?
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_01: It would be either I ate too much to punish myself, and then I would exercise it off to punish and punish my body doing it, and my brain, like saying you're worthless, you need to work this all off, blah, blah, blah.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_01: And and I was like, wait a minute, there's this connection here to here to my heart and to my belly.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_01: And that's when I realized, listen, I've got to get this all aligned.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_01: I've got to get this all in check because when something's off, nothing's gonna run smoothly.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember that's when about when I started doing tai chi.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_01: And in Tai Chi, I remember my instructor always saying, think of your body as like garden hoses.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_01: You have these energy things going through your body, and they're like garden hoses.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_01: If there's a kink in the garden hose and the water is coming in, what happens?
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_01: It's jammed up, yeah.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, that makes so much sense.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm a visual person, so I'm like, got it, got it.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_01: And then I started thinking, wait, if so, what I think and what I feel makes me eat and do things, it's the same garden hose principle that I need to keep these all aligned and balanced, and then you know, with like other thoughts, like even with Buddhist, any even nature, everything needs to be aligned for it to work smoothly.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_01: And the garden hose was the best analogy for me because I was like, Oh, yeah, that makes so much sense.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, water is not gonna flow if it's there's a kink, or it might create a hole in it at some place, and you know, and I was like, that makes so much sense, and that really helped me to figure out I have to do the work to get this all aligned.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely love it, absolutely love it.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_02: So let's move into we're getting a little low on time.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, for the person listening right now who feels disconnected from their body, whether it's confidence or sense of self, what is one step they can take today?
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_02: Because knowledge is great, but nothing changes if there's not an action to it, right?
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_02: So, what is one step that they can take to begin really uh feeling that relationship?
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_01: I would say become more aware of your thoughts.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_01: What are you thinking?
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_01: If you feel that negative thought, if there's that negative thought going on, reframe it, flip it, flip the script.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_01: I always say flip the script, reframe, you know, rewire it.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_01: Because what would, you know, like Dr.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_01: Eman, Daniel Eyman, who's a brain health specialist, he would say, you know, is it true?
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_01: Question it.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_01: Is what you're thinking really true?
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_01: Are you really a loser?
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_01: You know, what is the proof that you are?
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_01: What is the proof that you aren't?
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_01: And start focusing on that.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_01: Look into that.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I'd say awareness is the first step.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_01: So if you catch yourself, say this is an easy one to do.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_01: If you catch yourself saying something negative, say cancel, cancel and put in something positive instead.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_01: It could be a phrase like I'm magnificent, you know, or I'm awesome.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_01: And even if you don't believe it, just say it because your brain is listening.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_02: Let's and let's let's get a little neuron coding, shall we?
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_02: So when you catch yourself, right?
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_02: What what what what is the what is the the thing you would do when you I mean you're you're creating a scotoma, is what she's doing by saying cancel, cancel.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_02: So follow through with that and give us the actual physical exercise to to not only create a new neural pathway, but strengthen it as well.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so you would say cancel, cancel, which is uh when it in itself is a pattern interrupt.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_01: But you can also, if you're sitting down, stand up, do something to change your state that you're in.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_01: Even if it's like if you're if you've had a negative thought and you were looking down like this, look up.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_01: Smile.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: That's another pattern interrupt that you can do to reinforce it.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_01: Smile that interrupts a pattern and say, I'm magnificent.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_01: And by smiling and saying, I'm magnificent, and even just doing this, I'm magnificent.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_01: That anchors that feeling of feeling magnificent into your body and into your brain.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_01: So the next time you have that negative thought and you catch yourself, smile, do this, and you're like, Oh, you know what?
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_01: I kind of like that.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_01: And the brain's gonna be like, oh, that felt good.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe I'll repeat that.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_01: And just you know, it takes a few times to get used to it and catch yourself doing it, but make an effort to do that, just that little twist, and that'll make a big difference in how you're going to react to things and how your brain is gonna process all of the information that you put into it.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely love it.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_02: And I just want to add to that, when you smile, your brain releases a an amazing cocktail of feel good.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_02: So the more you do that, the more your brain is actually looking for it in the future to catch yourself faster.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_02: So I just want to give a little piece of the science there.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_02: So absolutely fantastic, Yayoi.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_02: So, Yayo, for the people listening who feel connected to your message, what is the best way for them to learn more about your work, follow you, you know, book you or support you know what you're building?
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I have a QR code in my background there.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_01: You can go there, or you could just go to brain to bellycoaching.com and you'll see click the button and you can book time with me.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm also on Facebook and my brain to belly community.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_01: So everything is brain to belly, or you could Google me brain to belly, yeah, brain to belly or neuroencoding, and you can find ways to contact me and get in touch with me.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'm also on you know, LinkedIn.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_01: So perfect.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_02: And I want to mention the podcast.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_02: So that's not brain to belly.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_02: So talk about that real quick.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's a little different.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, it's under the umbrella of Brain to Belly, but it is called I'll start on Monday.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I I just said I have to use this as my you know title for my podcast because it was it started out from my story.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_01: The first episode is my story and how I kept on saying, I'm gonna start this Monday, I'm gonna get over this Monday, I will, you know, start working out, start getting healthy, all of this.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_01: It was like next Monday, next Monday, next Monday.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_01: It went on for a year.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_01: And it took, it was not on a Monday, it was on a Thursday that I finally took the got the courage to start taking a step to you know doing this correctly.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_01: So the podcast is really on the topic of I'll start on Monday because everyone procrastinates.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_01: So I have it's an interview style.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_01: I interview different people.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_01: Some of people are, of course, some people are going to talk about their weight health journey as well, and others are gonna talk about their journey through procrastination so that they they were feeling unstuck, that they were able to get unstuck in what was going up here that was going creating all this chaos up here, and to be able to rewire it and get that garden hose flowing, right?
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_02: So check so check that out, people.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yo is fantastic.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_02: And when she's talking about all the information, we didn't get into a lot of it uh today, but she's super knowledgeable and a go-to person for sure.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we know time is the most precious resource we have as human beings.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_02: We can't get it back.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_02: So thank you for spending this moment and time to help our mission and make a difference.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_02: We really appreciate you being on today.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for having me.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_02: If something in today's conversation resonated with you, don't just move on to the next thing.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_02: Sit with it for a minute.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_02: And if you know someone who may need to hear this, share this episode with them.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_02: You can also join us at your thoughtsyourreality.com where we continue these conversations around identity, transition, resilience, and growth.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_02: And remember, your thoughts shape your reality.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_02: We're out of here.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for joining us on another insightful journey of the Your Thoughts, your reality podcast with your host, Michael Cole.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_00: We hope the conversation of sparks and thoughts that resonate with you.com.