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Why do narcissists treat you badly? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, Beautiful people.
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  Today we're talking about one of the main reasons why narcissists
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  continuously treat you badly because they don't think you're
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  going to leave them if you're new Here.
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  My name is Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist and welcome to another episode of the
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  Narcissist Code. Boom.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Yes, y'all.
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  Yes, yes. Why do narcissists treat you so
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  badly? Why?
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  Why? Why do you keep thinking they
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  don't? They treat you so badly, you
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  know. Why do you think that?
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  Why does it? Does it ever cross your mind
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  that the narcissistic person in your life is treating you badly
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  because they don't think that you will leave?
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  They really don't. A lot of narcissists think that
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  they are like, yeah, this is the delusional, entitled mindset
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  that a lot of narcissists and toxic people possess.
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  That they think they can get away with anything and
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  everything with you. That they think that they can
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  treat you any type of way and that your ass will remain with
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  them, that you're going to be there ride or die.
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  And y'all know how I feel about ride or dies, right?
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  You know exactly how I feel about ride or dies is ride or
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  die. You ride or you die and most
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  times you're going to die. It might it might not be a
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  physical death, but you're going to die emotionally.
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  Everybody, I think everybody that gets into a relationship
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  with a narcissist eventually dies emotionally.
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  I just you have an emotional death.
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  But most people are like you have cat lives, you have like 9
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  lives, you have nine emotional lives, right?
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  Your your emotions are like a cat.
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  You you get 9 emotional lives, right?
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  Let's say cat cat lives. I don't know, I don't know the
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  game for y'all, but it really is.
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  You ride till you emotionally die.
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  That's what I'm just saying y'all this is like you're going
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  to have an emotional death, but narcissists don't think that you
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  have the strength to leave them. Y'all, let me keep it real.
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  Why do you think they keep cheating on you?
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  Why do you think they keep putting their hands on you?
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  Why do you think they keep yelling and screaming at you and
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  putting you down in front of people?
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  Why do you think they keep you isolated from your friends and
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  family? Why do you think they keep
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  ruining holidays? Why do you think they don't
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  celebrate your birthday? Why do you think they don't
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  celebrate the kids birthdays? Why do you think they don't get
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  you any day for Mother's Day for Father's Day?
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  Why do you think they make you feel so insecure?
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  Why do you think they make you feel certain certain types of
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  ways about yourself? Why do you think they make you
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  hate yourself? Why do they?
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  Why do you think they make you feel less worthy or not worthy
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  at all? Why do you think they don't
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  validate you? Because they don't think you're
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  going to get your ass up, pack your stuff up and get the hell
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  out the house. They don't think you have the
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  strength to leave this relationship.
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  They think they beat you down enough to the to the they think
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  you. They beat you down to an
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  emotional or physical pulp and they don't think you're going to
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  pack your stuff up and leave them keep it real.
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  They don't think you have the strength to do it.
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  And this is not me trying to tell everybody to leave.
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  That's not what I'm doing here. I'm just explaining why the
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  narcissistic person in your life is treating you a certain type
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  of way. Because a lot of them think that
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  you're going to always be there no matter what they do.
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  Pardon the Interruption. Just wanted to make sure that
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  you are subscribed to the channel.
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  If you have to, hit that subscribe button right now and
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  make sure to turn on notifications so you don't miss
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  any uploads. Help me reach more people and
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  back to the video. No matter what they say, no
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  matter what they put you through or how they say they could, they
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  think that you're going to keep doing the same things over and
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  over and over again. That's just how the mind of a
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  lot of narcissists and toxic people work.
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  They think that they're going to keep doing this type of stuff to
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  you and you want to eventually give in to them.
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  They just think you're beat you down.
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  They think they're they think that they're the best you're
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  going to get. They've convinced you that
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  nobody else out here is going to want you.
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  So even though I'm treating you badly, this is the best you're
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  going to get. They've convinced you of that.
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  They got you worship with worshiping.
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  They got you worship with. See, I did it again.
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  I'm trying. I'm juggling myself and I did it
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  again. They have you worshiping them
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  like they're a damn cult leader, like they are an like they're an
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  idol in your life. Like you're worshipping false
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  idols. You know you oh, nobody's going
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  to want a single mom with two kids.
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  Nobody's going to be. Nobody's going to want you with
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  three kids. Nobody's going to want you over
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  35. Nobody wants you when you're
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  4050 Sixty. You're going to be by yourself.
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  You might as well just stay here with me.
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  Nobody's going to want you go. Ahead and test it out.
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  They'll offer you the door. Y'all.
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  Some of them are so confident in their abilities to manipulate
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  and abuse you that they'll offer you the chance to leave.
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  There's the door. Why don't you just leave?
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  They'll point to the door. There's the door.
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  There's your exit. You can exit anytime you want
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  to, so why don't you just leave? If you're not happy here, why
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  don't you just pack yourself up and leave?
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  They'll offer you the door, and if you don't take it, it's just
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  like if you don't take the door, it's like this weird type of
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  confirmation bias where they feel like they they've achieved
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  their goal, you know, they feel like they feel like they've
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  achieved their goal of beating you down enough to the point
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  where they don't think you, you don't think you're going to
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  leave. Like, OK, I got you.
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  I convinced them that they're not good enough, so they're not
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  going to leave me anyway. They'll offer you the door
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  again. Y'all this is not, not me
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  telling you to jump out there. Jump out the door and take it.
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  This is me telling you this is what's going on in their minds.
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  This is literally what's going on inside of their minds.
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  They're like, OK, you going to throw her and take it?
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  I'm going to emotionally and mentally beat you down and then
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  you're going to be here. You.
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  You'll always be here when I come back.
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  No matter what I do, you'll always be here with me.
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  No matter what I do, you'll always be here for me, right?
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  No matter what I put you through, you're always going to
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  be here to to take me back in. You're always going to be here
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  to nurture me and to pacify me, right?
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  They're always going to do that. Y'all.
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  They don't think you have the strength to leave.
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  And so many people that I've talked to, the yeah, I've talked
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  to thousands of people over the last few years, the people, my
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  support from, I talked to them. So many people have had the same
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  experience with they don't think you're going to leave.
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  And when you actually do, if you actually knew, they'd be
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  shocked. They'd be losing their damn
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  mind. Like what?
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  You actually left. Wow, you can't believe you left
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  me. You tell.
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  They try to convince you that nobody would want a single man,
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  you know who is who. A short man or a tall man or a
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  skinny man or fat man or whatever type of man you are.
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  They try to make you feel insecure if you're a man
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  watching it. They try to make you feel
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  insecure about yourself. Nobody's going to want an
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  insecure, loser ass man like you.
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  You nobody's going to want. You can't protect and provide
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  for anybody. You're lucky I'm here with you.
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  You going to leave me for cheating on you with your best
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  friend, your brother, your sister, your mommy, your daddy,
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  your your cousin, your schoolmate, your your old
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  teacher, your the people, the person who runs your firefighter
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  department, the volunteer fight. They didn't cheat on you 25
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  times. They don't think you're going to
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  leave because they think they've beaten you away and stripped
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  away your manhood or your womanhood.
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  They don't think they're going. You want to leave.
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  They're so they have such a delusional, entitled mindset,
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  and I used to have the same type of mindset.
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  Y'all that I'm the best you're going to get on the hierarchy of
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  the mountain of life, the mountain of behavior, the
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  mountain of whatever. I'm the best you're going to
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  get. I'm the best that you're going
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  to encounter. I'm the best, you know I am the
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  best that you're going to get. So this is what happens a lot of
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  times. Y'all So it's just like, and I'm
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  not telling you to give in to them.
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  I'm not telling them, I'm not telling you to leave them or
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  whatever. But I'm just saying this is
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  their mindset. This is the mindset that they
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  have. Like no matter what I do to you,
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  you're going to stay. So with that being said, y'all.
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  So think about it from this perspective.
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  If no matter, if they have the mindset of no matter what they
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  do to you, you're going to stay, what incentive do they have to
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  treat you better? Think about that right there.
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  If you're going to stay through the bad behavior, which is,
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  which comes easy to me, which comes like second, which is
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  second nature to me. If you're going to stay with me
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  while I'm treating you badly, then what incentive do I have to
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  treat you good? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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  They might give you like little glimmers of good behaviors every
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  once in a while. They might give you a little
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  glimmer, a little shine of a good behavior every once in a
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  while, treating you out, taking you, taking you out to dinner,
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  whatever it is getting you the sports code or watch or
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  something like that. Whatever it is, they might treat
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  you every once in a while, but then they put they might lift
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  you up every once in a while to let you breathe, but then they
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  push your head right back under this relationship turmoil, put
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  right back underneath this relationship water to drown you
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  out, to drown you out. Emotionally they might give you
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  a little bit, but they take so much.
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  They give you a little and take so much from you.
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  So that's something you have to consider as well.
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  Y'all. Like I said again, what
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  incentive do they have to treat you better if you stay while
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  they're treating you badly? If you stuck, if you stayed
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  through thick and thin, through the thick and thin times, you
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  stayed with me. Why do I why?
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  Why would I treat you better? You know, that's the mindset
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  that a lot of narcissists have right there.
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  If you stay with me through thick and thin, why would I
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  treat you any better right now? So I tell people, y'all you, You
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  are stronger than you think you are.
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  You have the power. You you do.
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  But again, I'm not telling you to leave.
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  That's something you have to do on your own.
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  But Lee, why don't you tell everybody to leave?
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  Some say some people get my account so confused they think
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  I'm just telling everybody to leave.
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  And then I say that people say, why don't you say tell everybody
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  to leave? Because this is the decision you
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  have to make on your own. If I tell you to leave, that's
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  me giving you, let's be telling you something to do that you
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  might not be ready to do. So that we just the chances of
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  you going back or just higher. If somebody tells you to leave,
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  your chances of going back or higher than if you make the
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  decision on your own with information that's being
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  provided to you, you know? So that's what I'm just telling
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  people. You have to be as strong as you
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  possibly can. And the crazy thing about the
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  crazy thing about it is y'all the narcissistic person.
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  When they first met you, they probably looked at you as a
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  strong person. They probably targeted, targeted
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  you because you were a strong person.
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  But you guys, because you had a lot of individual qualities that
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  attracted to them. But over time, they slowly and
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  meticulously stripped you of those qualities, right?
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  They stripped you of those qualities.
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  They stripped you of those. They stripped you of your your
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  independence and they isolated you from your support system.
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  So now you're by yourself. You felt, you felt alone for a
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  long period of time. This what happens too.
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  So that's what I'm just telling you right now.
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  If you're dealing with a narcissist or a type of person,
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  this is how it's going to be y'all because they don't have
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  any type of added incentives to give you more.
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  Because if they gave you, if they're giving you less and less
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  and you continue to stay and accept it, then they think, OK,
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  I can just give this person less and I can do what I want to do.
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  I've gotten away with it for so long, why would I change this
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  behavior? But again, y'all, if you do
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  decide to leave after that and try to leave, it will.
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  A lot of them will be shocked. And I'll end it by saying this
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  because I know some people are going to bring this up.
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  Yes. Sometimes the narcissist treat
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  you badly because they do want you to leave.
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  So that could be true as well, because some of them want you.
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  Some of them don't want to be with you anymore.
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  But they don't have the strength or the courage to just break up
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  with you like a real human being and just have a conversation or
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  just break it with you and try to be amicable.
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  They want to treat you badly to the point where you are the one
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  that breaks up with them so they can play the victim, so they can
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  move on quickly and have an excuse.
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  So I I can do a longer video on that here coming up soon.
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  But that does happen as well. Yeah, some of them do treat you
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  valid because they they want you to leave.
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  You know? Some of them, a lot of them
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  treat you badly because they don't think you're going to
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  leave. But then there's those who want
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  you to actually leave them and they just they just remove all
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  the good times. It it it can get really tough.
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  That's called the reverse discard I have.
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  I have other videos on it. If you don't just check.
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  Check out Lee Hammock reverse discard on YouTube.
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  Check that out. Y'all be with y'all.
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  Make sure you subscribe to the channel if you haven't already.
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  But this is peace. Thank you so much for making it
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  to the end of my video. I am extremely grateful for you
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  have no idea. If you haven't already, make
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  sure you go ahead and subscribe to the channel helps.
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  Reach more people and click on the screen to watch another
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  video or to browse through another playlist.
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  There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
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  and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
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  you've been through. Thank you so much again.
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  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.