Latest / UNMASKED with Wesley Farnsworth / Ep 20 - From Addiction to Freedom: Andrea’s Story of Redemption

Transcript

Ep 20 - From Addiction to Freedom: Andrea’s Story of Redemption · UNMASKED with Wesley Farnsworth

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Welcome to Unmasked, where we take off the filters and get
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real about faith, failure, and finding freedom.
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I'm your host, Wesley Farnsworth, a dad, veteran,
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author, and a man who's learned that God does his best work in
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the middle of our mess. Each episode will have honest
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conversations with people who've walked through addiction, pain,
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or doubt, and with pastors, leaders, and everyday believers
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who are learning to live and lead authentically.
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So take a breath, pull up a chair, and let's get real.
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This is Unmasked. Today on Unmasked, we have a
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very special guest with us. Her name is Andrea, and I was
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able and privileged to meet her through Celebrate Recovery.
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And man, she has a powerful testimony.
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She shared it for the first time this past week.
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And when I've heard it, I've said, you know, I have this
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podcast and I think other people would really connect with it or
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get something from it. Would you be willing to share?
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And without missing a beat, she said absolutely.
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And so, Andrea, thank you so much for being with us here and
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sharing your testimony on this recording for the listeners.
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Without further ado, we're going to go ahead and turn the floor
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over. And Andrea?
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My name is Andrea and I'm a child of God who has struggled
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with chemical dependency, codependency, promiscuity and
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insecurity. Currently I struggle with anger,
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PTSD, OCD, and a fear of public speaking.
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I was born to a single mom. I never knew my biological
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father since my mom always told me there were three possible men
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that could be my father. I was 35 years old when I
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discovered who my biological father was.
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It wasn't until my mom passed away in 2019 that he reached out
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to me and has kept in contact. I have no desire to have any
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type of father daughter relationship with him.
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Up until I was 4 years old, it was mom and me.
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She met up with an old schoolmate who was a single
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father with a four year old son. At that point my childhood
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changed forever. That's when the molestation and
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abuse began until I was 13 years old.
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All through my childhood, I endured mental, physical and
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emotional abuse at the hands of my stepdad.
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I lived in a household consumed with domestic violence against
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my mom because of my stepdad, all due to his alcoholism.
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Before long, my younger brother was born.
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That's when the house excuse me, That's when the abuse began to
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happen more often. Since I wasn't his biological
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daughter, he would say things to justify the abuse.
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The one person in my life who I could trust and would believe me
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was my grandma. I told her everything that
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happened to me. Each time she would write it
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down in a book. Off and on throughout my
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childhood my grandparents would take me from my my mom.
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Since my mom said I was the problem child, she couldn't
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handle me any longer. Than tragedy struck our struck
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our family. The home we lived in caught on
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fire due to faulty wiring. We lost all of our possessions.
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Thanks to the many blessings of donations from family and my
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grandparents, we have a new home.
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Grandma and grandpa bought mom a double wide trailer in a nice
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trailer park. The kids in school referred to
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me as trailer trash on top of the many other hurtful names
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they called me. I endured a great deal of
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bullying in school that lowered my self esteem and I had very
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few people I interacted with. I also developed social
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avoidance and became isolated. The abuse continued until I was
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13 years old. That's when my mom I came home
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to find my stepfather was gone along with the checkbook.
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It was the last time he ever molested me.
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My mom finally listened to my grandma and heard how I was hurt
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through the years. The result was that my mom had
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my stepdad arrested. They got married later so my
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brother could still have visits with his father.
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And that is when I went to live with my grandparents since my
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grandpa's health was going downhill due to his cancer.
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Before long, my grandpa was placed in Hospice and ended up
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passing away. After grandpa died, I stayed
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with my grandma while my mom and the two boys lived down the
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street in her trailer. Even though they were married,
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my mom and stepdad couldn't live together due to his offense.
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Instead, my stepdad lived at my grandma's old house and was able
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to see my younger brother when supervised by my mom.
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Living with my grandma, I felt safe for the most part.
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Unfortunately, my safety became compromised and I was raped when
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I was 14 years old. From that point, my life was
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never the same. I was an honor student
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throughout high school. I began skipping classes in 9th
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grade. I dabbled in marijuana and
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alcohol. I became promiscuous after
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graduation. I chose to work before going to
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college. I began attending a local
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college but later withdrew so I could continue working to save
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money. It was at my job that I met the
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man who would eventually be become the father of my
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children, my husband, and later on my best friend and Papa to
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our grandson. At first, we didn't like each
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other. He was an irritation, a daily
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pain, and now he's a thorn in my side to this day.
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Coincidence would have it that his sister lived near me and I
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spent many days at her house with her two boys and at times
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to babysit them, my friend and my friend.
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His sister asked if she could set me up on a blind date with
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her brother. When I arrived at her house to
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meet the blind date, it turned out to be the man that I
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despised. She introduced us and we both
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quickly spoke up. We already knew each other from
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work. To my surprise, I just accepted
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a blind date with her older brother, my former Co worker.
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Eventually we became a couple and I soon discovered that I was
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pregnant. I was already on my own since my
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mom had kicked me out of my grandma's house because of my
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refusal to bow down to her every demand and control and not
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staying home. Finding out that I was pregnant
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was both scary and happy time all at once.
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I was tearful when telling my boyfriend since he was in jail
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but he was ecstatic at finding out the news of our baby
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arriving. I feared being a single parent
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since my boyfriend was on probation and in jail on the
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violation and I was only 19 and living with a roommate.
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It was the first time my mom would be there for me during my
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pregnancy and when the baby was born.
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My pregnancy was developing as expected and we were prepared
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for baby girls arrival. It was at the next doctor's
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visit that the ultrasound showed abnormalities.
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Was referred to Iowa City for additional testing.
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As young, first time parents, we made the most we made the most
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heartbreaking decision of our lives.
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We were told it would be a decision to save my life due to
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the known risk since the baby may not be delivered as
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scheduled. At this point I stopped
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believing there was a God. I thought if there was a God
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then why was he taking my baby away from me?
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I wondered if I was being punished for not being a good
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enough daughter, granddaughter, sister or friend or what.
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I didn't know. It turned out that my baby was
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stillborn. We had her blessed by the
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chaplain in the hospital. Being 4 1/2, four months
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premature, she wasn't strong enough to survive.
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I blamed myself for so long thinking it was my fault and
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that I must have done something wrong for this to have happened.
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I went into a deep depression after being told there was a 30
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to 50% chance of being able to get pregnant again and to carry
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full term. I had so much resentment or a
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heartache toward God and other moms.
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Why could they have their babies yet He took mine?
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At this point I'd given up thinking that there was a God
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again. Few months later I discovered
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once again I was pregnant. Mixed emotions filled my heart
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as I thought there would be another punishment from God,
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another one of my children, for Him to RIP away from me, leaving
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me broken and destroyed. I thought I could handle another
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I. I thought I couldn't handle
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another loss. Each passing month the baby kept
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growing. Each doctor's appointment
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provided more ease, joy and excitement.
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I thought maybe there was a God. Maybe he was hearing my prayers.
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Maybe I wasn't being punished. I found out that I was having a
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boy or firecracker baby. My boyfriend and I were elated
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before along the most beautiful of God's greatest gifts was
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born. My son was a rainbow baby
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miracle. He gives me so much joy,
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happiness as his mom. My whole life centers around him
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with his dad going in and out of jail.
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During the the those first five years I was all my son had.
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It was my job to protect and keep him safe.
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I did my best as a single mom. I would take my son to see his
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dad when I could. By the time my son was three
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years old his dad was in Fort Madison.
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That was when my life took a drastic turn and I never knew
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how much it would hurt those around me.
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This is when I was introduced to the White demon of death or his
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most know it mess it was. It was through an acquaintance
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that I started using and got hooked.
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I thought I discovered a new set of friends.
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I was vulnerable and a follower looking to fit in.
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That is when my life of crime began.
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At first I was never caught or arrested.
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When supplies were needed, I was called upon to go get what was
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needed. I thought of myself as a
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functioning addict. I was working a full time job,
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going to school, getting married, and being a mom.
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I thought I was hiding my addiction from my family and
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close friends. My state of mind led me to
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believe that I controlled my addiction.
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It didn't control me. I believed I was using on a
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casual basis, but that was the furthest from only the truth.
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I didn't realize my family knew my addiction even though I was
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trying to hide it. Four years later, my life fell
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apart. After being together for 18
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years and married for three years, my marriage was in
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shambles. There was no reconciliation as
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underlying circumstances kept that from happening.
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I filed for a divorce. Having been hurt so much in the
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past, I thought this was just another punishment from God.
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It was something else that I found hate in my heart for.
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I was at a loss to numb my pain. My addiction went into
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OverDrive. I was allowing my son at 14
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years to smoke marijuana and drink alcohol.
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As an addict. I was an enabler to my child as
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well. What kind of mom had I turned
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into? He was under my supervision, so
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I didn't think there was any harm in it.
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I became promiscuous again. I would get high and party with
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my friends when my son went to his dad's house or I'd wait till
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he went to bed and then party. Soon I moved to another town
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which kept me sober since we would only drive the hour back
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and forth to Waterloo to see family.
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Before long both of us were homesick so we moved back into
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my mom's house, which was my downfall.
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Seeing only friends and going back to my old stomping grounds
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found me making up excuses. Could not go go back to mom.
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I knew my son was OK and well taken care of.
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I found myself staying out more and more and getting wrapped up
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in a life of addiction that I walked away from those few
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months earlier. Soon I was involved with friends
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who had wrong motives and became very promiscuous.
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I believed I was hiding these things from my son and family,
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but my son was very smart and knew I was using again.
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As time went on. Living with my mom and brother
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wasn't easy. Even though I was working,
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making car payments, caring for my son, and paying rent, I felt
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like a prisoner as well as a child.
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My younger brother treated me like a prisoner.
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My mom treated me like a child. With curfews, check insurance,
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permission to leave, and having to tell her where my where my
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whereabouts. I stayed away more and more.
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I even tried to fake being kidnapped while running around
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with a friend. I was located far away in
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another county and was in such bad shape that I was taken to
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the local hospital for treatment.
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When being questioned by law enforcement, I didn't even know
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where or who I was. I was transferred to another
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facility for detox. Soon I was calling into work
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more and more, distancing myself farther from my family and my
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son. I was putting my addiction above
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all else. Eventually, I developed a new
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male relationship and we began committing crimes to feed our
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drug habit. I was stealing jewelry from my
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mom, pawning possessions, and writing bad checks as well as
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using my mom's bank account. My boyfriend ended up going to
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jail and I was on a downward spiral of self destruction.
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DHS got involved and my son's father returned to Iowa to care
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for my son. I chose to do what was in my
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son's best interest, which was to sign Karen over to his dad.
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I no longer had control of my addiction.
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It had totally consumed me. Although I was allowed
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supervised visits with my son, those visits were few and far
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between and finding authorized transportation to bring my son
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to see me proved nerve wracking. Well, having to follow the DHS
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plan for compliance and visits, I still didn't stay sober.
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Continuing to use was the only solace from my pain.
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I could stay numb and not have to think about what was going on
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around me. Instead, I could distance myself
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and isolate and enjoy my own perfect world.
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My addiction and promiscu was out of control and I began
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selling myself to get my next fix.
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I kept telling my son I was staying sober, but he knew
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better. My lies broke the bond between
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us that I never thought would happen.
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Before long, I was hospitalized for drug detox and a psychiatric
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hold for an attempted overdose. My family got a court order for
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hospitalization due to my paranoia and addiction.
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My life was at its lowest, in shambles.
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Not only was I losing my son, I lost my home and I had nowhere
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to go. My heart was completely
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shattered the day I watched my son and his dad drive away,
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knowing that would be the last time that I could see him until
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he turned 18, all due to my choices.
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I was arrested a few days before my birthday due to my addiction.
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A warrant was issued and I was jailed and sent to prison on a
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five year sentence. While in the county jail, I
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opened the Bible for the first time since I was a kid.
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I was sitting in my cell with tears rolling down my cheek.
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I opened the Bible and to my surprise the first burst that it
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opened to was Philippians 413. For I can do everything through
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Christ who gives me strength. I didn't know what that verse
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meant until I signed up for a Bible study and the Sunday
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church service. I figured why not, it will just
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be a way to get out of my cell. But what I got from that Bible
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study and Sunday service was nothing less than eye opening.
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I went back to my cell, dropped to my knees and cried.
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I asked God to give me strength and willpower to fight my
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addiction, my time, and guide me to rebuild a relationship with
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my son. I attended NA meetings, church
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and Bible study all while keeping the line of
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communication with my son. While in Mitchellville Women's
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Prison, I joined a group called Women of the Well, a faith-based
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ministry within the walls of the women's prison.
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It helps women with hurts and hang ups as they transition back
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into the community. It was in this group that I
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received my first Life Recovery Bible.
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God carried me through the next eight months of prison and when
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I entered the Women's Center, I did my programming, community
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service, attended Bible study and work.
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While in the well in the Women's Center, I went to my first
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church service at a nearby church.
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I attended every Sunday. Then I found out about Celebrate
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Recovery. I attended every Sunday.
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Then I found out about Celebrate Recovery while in the Women's
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Center. I thought what could it hurt to
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add another program to help in my recovery and walk with Christ
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that there was a van that came each week to pick up the ladies
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as I began. As I began to attend Celebrate
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Recovery, I met some amazing people who connected with me and
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are still my lifetime family. These ladies became my sponsor,
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accountability partner, and sisters in Christ.
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They took a chance on me no matter what mistakes or
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downfalls I had and have continued to stand by my side to
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this day. After my discharge from the
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Women's Center, I continued attending CR and live lived with
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my mom again. It was a process to earn her
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trust back. However, over time our
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relationship as mother and daughter became strained once
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again. I continued to follow my parole
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discharge plan as required and after being out of prison, I was
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discharged off parole four years early with good behavior and all
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requirements met. IPO approved me for release.
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I was ecstatic as was my mom. I called my son immediately to
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tell him the good news. Even though he was 1300 miles
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away, he was very proud of me. The next milestone was reuniting
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with my son. To have him back in my arms
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after almost three years apart was going to make my sobriety
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and hard work worth. To hear his voice on the phone
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or on FaceTime wouldn't be the same as holding him in my arms.
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However, I wasn't being honest about staying sober.
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I began to dabble here and there, hiding my use from my
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mom. I was using to take the edge off
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all the the stress while it's still attending CR.
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Then my son finally came home for good.
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I stopped using and remained sober once again and before long
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my son was back in my arms. That day was the most crying I
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had done since he was born. I couldn't stop hugging him.
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This was finally the moment I had waited for to rebuild our
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bond as mom and son. I couldn't take back the last
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three years, but I would do everything in my power to make
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up for it. All I was was going well until
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Mother's Day. It was the worst.
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My mom threw me out when we got into an argument and I was high.
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My son gave me a hug, said happy Mother's Day and walked out.
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I followed and could only see the car drive away.
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It was that. It was then that I realized I
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had let him down. I went on a 5 day binge and got
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thrown. Out onto the street and ended up
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in detox. Once again someone I thought was
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a friend took me in but was treating me like a child.
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When I wouldn't comply with demands I was thrown out.
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Once again I was on the street, nowhere to go.
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I sat on the crib crying and asked God to Take Me Out of this
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never ending nightmare. I had put my put myself into it.
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I had just reached 60 days of sobriety, yet my son nor anyone
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in my family wanted anything to do with me.
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I couldn't blame them since I had caused much pain and hurt.
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God heard my cries and my cousin who I'd been estranged from and
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was also in recovery, opened her door and took me in.
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She became the only person who gave me strength to stay sober
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since then. God.
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God has transformed my life tremendously.
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By the grace of God, the chains of my addiction to meth have
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been broken. I gave up my promiscuity, my
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promiscuous lifestyle, and I've gained A healthier and stronger
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bond with my son and my daughter-in-law.
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Today I have been sober seven years and six months.
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The day I said enough was enough.
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I made a choice to walk away from the one thing that had
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destroyed my life for so long. Now I'm the proud grandma of two
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beautiful, very active toddler grandsons.
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The relationship with my son has been restored and our bond gets
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stronger daily. I have a very beautiful
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daughter-in-law. The sibling relationship with my
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brother is getting better. After attending Celebrate
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Recovery and doing a step study, I began to see the healing from
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my abuse, codependency and so much more.
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The things that have been hidden for so many years have finally
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been brought into the light. It's more than a program, it's a
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way of life and at work. In the Step study, the lesson
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that sticks out to me the most is forgiveness based upon
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Principle 6. Evaluate all my relationships
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and offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me.
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Make amends for harm I've done to others, except when to do so
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would harm them or others. I've learned that forgiveness is
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essential in recovery. Always remember, forgiving
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someone doesn't mean you excuse or condone actions or behaviors.
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It's about releasing the power they have over you.
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By doing this allows the possibility of healing
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relationships and moving forward in your recovery.
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Keep in mind, forgiveness is the process that involves the
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willingness to forgive and can be the first step towards
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healing and freedom. Unfortunately, my mom passed
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away three months prior to my one year anniversary of
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sobriety. I know she's proud of me each
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and every day. Since being on this recovery
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journey I have become a leader in my Celebrate Recovery group.
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I also Co lead a STEP study and I recommitted my life to Christ
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on July 27th, 2025. Being a member of my local
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church. God plays a big part in my life
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without my faith which gives me the needed willpower,
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perseverance and the unconditional love and support
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of my family as well as my CR sisters and brothers.
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I don't, I don't know where I'd be, Philippians 413 says.
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For I can do everything to Christ who gives me strength.
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This will forever be my life verse.
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My hope and prayer is that my story will touch people who are
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on their journey of recovery. I'm living evidence that
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recovery is possible by the power of God's grace.
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Celebrate Recovery can help anyone with hurts, hang ups and
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habits. Thank you for listening and God
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bless. Wow, Andrea, what a story.
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You have truly been through a lot and it is just so powerful
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to hear where you've been and where God has brought you now.
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And I just I'm so appreciative of you coming on and and sharing
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your story. What would you tell the
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listeners? Maybe there's a listener out
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there that is dealing with a struggle with it with when it
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comes to forgiving, you know, they maybe they can't forgive
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themselves for something that they've done and that's holding
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them back from walking in the freedom.
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What advice would you give that person to be able to allow
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themselves to forgive themselves?
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Every day is a struggle. It has taken me a long while to
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be able to let go and forgive myself.
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You have in order to recover and be free, you have to.
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You can never forget, but you can forgive.
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You'll always have that that mindset, but always keep a
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positive mindset. You can, you can let go and let
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God. And that's what I always preach
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every day, let go to let God. And that's what's that.
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What that is, what Philippians 413 is all about, is letting go,
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letting that. I love that.
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Yeah, it's a, that's a great verse to to live by, you know,
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let go and let God. There's a lot of things that we
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can't control. And luckily enough, we serve the
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one that can. And we just got to put our trust
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in him. It's good stuff.
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Well, Andrea, again, thank you so much for coming on and being
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willing to share your testimony. Listeners, I hope that you were
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able to get something from this testimony.
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And I encourage you to go back and listen again and share it
26:27
with somebody that you think could benefit from it because
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there's just so much to in this testimony to unpacked the things
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that she's gone through. And it's just, it's so powerful.
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And so, Andrea, once again, thank you very much.
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Well, thanks for joining me today on Unmasked.
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If this episode encouraged you, would you take a moment to
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follow rate and share it with somebody who you think could
26:52
benefit from hearing it? For more encouragement and
26:54
information on having me speak at your church or events and my
26:58
coaching services, visit wesleyfernsworth.com and don't
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forget to connect with me on social media.
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Until next time, remember that grace is greater than your past
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and freedom begins when we all live unmasked.
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God bless you and.