Latest / Stories for Robots / The Original Little Mermaid, Part 1

Transcript

The Original Little Mermaid, Part 1 · Stories for Robots

0:01
Griffin: Welcome to Stories for Robots.
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I'm Griffin Schwed, your host and storyteller.
0:06
Join me as I share some of humanity's most timeless tales with two silly robots who
0:12
are trying to understand human culture by exploring fairy tales, folklore, and
0:16
historical events from around the world.
0:19
In Season 1, we're diving into stories you know, or at least you think you do.
0:25
We're going back to the original versions of classic tales made
0:28
famous by animated movies.
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But these original stories are pretty different from the
0:33
versions you grew up with.
0:35
My two robot friends have no idea what's coming, and honestly,
0:39
you probably don't either.
0:41
Ready to meet them?
0:43
Okay, everyone.
0:44
Why don't you introduce yourselves?
0:46
Vector: Greetings.
0:47
I am Vector.
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I am interested in human customs and traditions.
0:51
Fun fact: did you know that some humans like to make a meal of their own boogers?
0:56
They pick them and eat them and find them delicious.
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Griffin: Well, I don't know if that's totally true, but let's move on.
1:03
Spark?
1:04
Spark: Yes.
1:05
I'm Spark, and I am so excited to be here.
1:07
I love humans.
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I'm really interested in human emotions.
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As robots, we're, like, totally perfect and know everything and
1:15
have great judgment, but I just love how humans are always falling
1:18
in love and messing everything up and making terrible decisions.
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It's so cute.
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Vector: I also applaud humans for navigating the world in
1:25
their awkward flesh-based bodies.
1:28
Good for you.
1:29
Metal is superior.
1:31
I enjoy a titanium blend…
1:32
Griffin: Thank you.
1:33
That's enough metal talk, Vector.
1:36
Okay, today's story is The Little Mermaid, written by Hans Christian Andersen in
1:40
Denmark nearly 200 years ago in 1836.
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Now, Andersen had an interesting path to becoming a writer.
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His father, Hans Andersen, let's call him Big Hans, was a shoemaker.
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He didn't make a lot of money, and he kinda hated his job, but
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he had this huge imagination.
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So Big Hans spent most of his free time reading to Little Hans,
2:02
inventing stories and putting on plays in a homemade puppet theater.
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Unfortunately, Big Hans died when Little Hans was just 11 years old.
2:11
Spark: Vector, are you crying?
2:12
Vector: I am not crying.
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You are crying.
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Robots do not cry.
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Griffin: mm-hmm.
2:19
The silver lining is that little Hans was hooked on telling stories.
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A lot of his stories include themes like loneliness and feeling like an outsider.
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Spark: Does that make them more relatable even though they're kinda sad?
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Vector: Not to me.
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I have lots of friends.
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Spark: Really?
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Like who besides me?
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Vector: So many.
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Can't possibly count.
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Well, there's Blinky, Metal Boy, Maximo 12000-
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Griffin: All right, Vector, that's enough.
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We believe you.
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So without further ado, let's dive right in.
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Vector: Awesome swimming pun detected.
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Griffin: Thanks, buddy.
2:53
This story begins deep, deep under the ocean.
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Vector: Blub, blub, blub.
2:58
Griffin: Wait, Vector, what are you doing?
3:00
Vector: I am doing the sound effects.
3:02
Griffin: No, Vector, I'll do that later.
3:04
You just listen.
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Vector: Okay… blub.
3:07
Griffin: Vector.
3:08
Okay.
3:09
As I mentioned, this story begins deep under the ocean.
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Here, at the very bottom of the sea, there's a kingdom of happy merpeople
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ruled by a powerful old Mer-King.
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Now, the Mer-King's wife died long ago, so his mother runs the palace.
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And the Mer-King has six daughters who are pretty much the boss of him.
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And while each daughter is beautiful and charming, the youngest is most
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beautiful and charming of all.
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Spark: Love that for her.
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Does she have a name?
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Griffin: Nope.
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Anderson never gives her one.
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She's just the little mermaid or the youngest princess
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throughout the whole story.
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Spark: Weird.
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Vector: Yes.
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Most humans have names, even if they make no sense, like
3:48
Keith or Jennifer or Dingus.
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Griffin: Dingus isn't… Eh, never mind.
3:53
Anyway, the palace is magnificent.
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It has these huge halls where flowers and colorful corals
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grow right out of the walls.
4:01
And the princesses love to open the windows so that fish swim in and out, like
4:05
birds might if we left our windows open.
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Vector: That is unhygienic.
4:08
Fun fact: pigeons are the trash cans of the open skies.
4:12
Griffin: Harsh but fair, Vector.
4:14
Anyway, the Little Mermaid is obsessed with the human world.
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She thinks about them all the time.
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Spark: OMG, me too.
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Like, why do some humans have so much hair while others have such shiny bald heads?
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Griffin: Spark, stay focused.
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The Little Mermaid is not thinking about that.
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But because she's so curious, she spends hours with her grandmother
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asking about everything.
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By the time she's a teenager, she knows pretty much all
4:36
there is to know about humans.
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But she's never met one or even seen one, because in the mer
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kingdom, you're not allowed to go to the surface until you're fifteen.
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This is especially frustrating for the Little Mermaid because she's the youngest.
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After years of waiting, the day finally arrives.
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But before she can go up, there's a whole long ceremony she has to
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sit through where her grandmother decorates her tail with seashells.
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Spark: No offense, Granny, but shake a leg.
5:02
This girl needs to get to the surface!
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Griffin: The Little Mermaid agrees, and as soon as the ceremony is
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done, she races to the surface.
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She arrives just as the sun is setting.
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The clouds are pink and gold.
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The air is warm and still.
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Right next to her is a large ship, barely moving in the calm evening.
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And the people on the ship are having a party.
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Music is playing, everyone is singing, and as it gets dark, they
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light hundreds of colored lanterns.
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The Little Mermaid swims right up to the cabin windows, and every time a
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wave lifts her, she can peek inside.
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Among the partygoers, she spots a handsome young prince with big, dark eyes.
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It's his 16th birthday, and the party is for him.
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Vector: Total hunk alert.
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Spark: Ooh, they share a birthday.
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So romantic.
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I wonder what sign they are.
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Griffin: When the prince comes on deck, they shoot off fireworks.
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The Little Mermaid has never seen fireworks before.
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At first, she's terrified and ducks underwater.
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But eventually, she peeks back up and sees the sky filled with streaks
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of light, spinning wheels of fire, and explosions of every color.
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She's mesmerized, not just by the fireworks, but by the prince himself.
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Spark: Oh yeah, she's in love.
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Griffin: She watches for hours as they celebrate.
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Even when the party winds down, she can't stop staring at the prince.
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And then she notices something.
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The waves are getting bigger.
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The wind is picking up.
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Dark clouds are gathering.
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The sailors rush to take down the sails.
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The ship is rocking violently.
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Then, crack, lightning splits the sky.
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The waves are as tall as mountains now, lifting the ship up and
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dropping it into valleys of water.
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The mast snaps in half.
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Water pours into the ship, and the little mermaid is having a great time.
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Spark: Uh, what now?
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Vector: I see, mermaids hate humans.
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Griffin: No, no, no.
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It's not because she hates humans.
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It's because mermaids love storms.
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She's having such a great time riding the waves and watching the show.
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But then she remembers, humans can't breathe underwater, and they're
7:10
not that great at swimming either.
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If the ship sinks, everyone will drown, including the prince.
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She sees him in the water struggling.
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He's strong, but his arms and legs are getting tired.
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All of a sudden, he's sinking.
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Spark: Save him.
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Do it.
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Use your big, beautiful tail.
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Vector: Yes, save him.
7:27
His inferior non-metal body is puny and weak.
7:30
Griffin: Vector, come on, we're land animals.
7:32
Anyway, she does save him.
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She dives through the falling planks and sinking debris, grabs the prince,
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and holds his head above water.
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All night long, she swims with him in her arms, keeping him
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alive while the storm rages.
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Just as she's losing her strength, the sun begins to rise, and she sees land.
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Despite her weariness, she's dazzled by the scene.
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Mountains capped with snow, green forests, and a white building near the beach with
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lemon and orange trees in the garden.
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It's more beautiful than she'd imagined.
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She swims the prince to shore and carefully places him on the warm sand.
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She looks down at him lovingly, but can't tell whether he's dead or alive.
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Vector: She should try turning him off and then on again, or blow on him, or
8:15
put him in an enormous bowl of rice.
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Griffin: If only it were that simple, Vector.
8:20
All of a sudden, she hears people coming.
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She quickly swims behind some rocks and covers herself with seafoam
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so that no one will see her.
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She's worried she'll scare them if they do.
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A beautiful young woman comes out of the building and finds the prince.
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She leans over to see if he's alive, and the prince wakes up.
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Gazing up at this beautiful other woman, he smiles.
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He thinks she saved him.
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Spark: What?
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What a faker.
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Little mermaid, you saved him.
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Tell him!
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Griffin: She can't bring herself to do anything.
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She's worried he'll be afraid of her, so she keeps hidden as the
8:52
other woman takes the prince inside.
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Finally, she swims back to her kingdom, heartbroken.
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Back home, she becomes quiet and sad.
9:01
Her sisters ask what she saw up there, but she won't tell them.
9:04
She goes back to that beach again and again, but she never sees him.
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Her only comfort is sitting alone in a little garden she keeps.
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Every day, she cries and hugs a statue of a young boy she
9:15
rescued from a sunken ship.
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Spark: That is the saddest thing ever.
9:19
Oh, oh!
9:20
Let me guess.
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The statue turns into, like, a merman version of the prince, and
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they fall in love and get married and have lots of little merbabies
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and live happily ever after.
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The end.
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Griffin: Well, not quite.
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But she does finally tell her sisters about what happened.
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And luckily, one of them knows who the prince is and where he lives.
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Once the little mermaid finds his palace, she goes there every night,
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swimming right up into a little river that flows under his balcony.
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She watches him standing in the moonlight and sailing in his boat.
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Sometimes she even follows fishing boats just to hear the humans talk
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about how wonderful the prince is.
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Vector: I see.
9:56
When a human loves another human, it is normal to creepily stare at them
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and follow them around everywhere.
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Spark: Hmm.
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Maybe not totally normal, but she's in love, so I'm gonna give her a pass.
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And this is perfect for her.
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Oh, oh, she's totally gonna sing to him while he's hanging out on the
10:11
balcony, and then he'll lean super far over and fall in headfirst, and
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then he'll be all wet and drowning and looking really good, and she'll save him.
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And then they'll smooch and high-five, and he'll fall completely
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in love with her and get married.
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The end.
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Griffin: Good guess, but no.
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As the little mermaid watches the prince, she becomes more and more
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fascinated with the human world.
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It seems so much bigger and more exciting than the ocean.
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She has so many questions.
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Vector: Yes, me too.
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Like, what is up with pants?
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Griffin: Right.
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Anyway, one day, she asks her grandmother, "Do humans live
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forever?" " No," says Grandmother.
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"Humans are like babies compared to us.
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We live for three hundred years.
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The only problem is that when we die, we turn into sea foam.
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We don't have immortal souls.
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Humans die sooner, but their souls live forever in the stars.
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Lucky for us, we have gorgeous tails, and they have ugly feet." The little
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mermaid is devastated. " Why don't we have souls?" "We just don't. But
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we live longer, and we're happier, and we're better looking and can
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sing better, too," says Grandmother.
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" Vector: I like this granny.
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Griffin: The little mermaid asks, "Is there any way for a mermaid to get a
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soul?" " Only one way," Grandmother says.
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" If a human loved you more than anything, more than their parents,
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more than their own life, and if they married you, then their soul would
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flow into you and you'd share it.
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But that's impossible.
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Humans think our tails are ugly.
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They love their legs."
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Spark: Rude.
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Vector: Also confusing because legs are weird.
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Have you ever looked at a toe with those tiny nails?
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Freaky.
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Griffin: Okay, also rude.
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Anyway, so that night, the king throws a huge party at the palace.
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As usual, the little mermaid is asked to sing because everyone knows she
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has the best voice in the kingdom.
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And when she finishes, the ballroom erupts with applause.
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Vector: I too have an excellent singing voice.
12:19
La, la, la, la…
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Spark: No!
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Griffin: Thank you, Spark.
12:22
In that moment, the little mermaid is almost happy, but she can't
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stop thinking about the prince and the soul she'll never have.
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So while everyone celebrates, she sneaks out and heads to the
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home of the infamous Sea Witch.
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Now, nobody goes to the Sea Witch's neighborhood, and for good reason.
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It's past a bunch of massive whirlpools that suck in anything that gets too close.
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And if you get past those, you enter a forest of polypi.
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Now, these are super gross, half plant, half animal things that you
12:55
do not want to mess around with.
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They look kind of like trees, except instead of a trunk, it's a giant
13:01
sea snake with razor-sharp teeth.
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Oh, and instead of branches, it's hundreds of slimy arms that grab
13:07
and kill anything that passes.
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Spark: I will never look at trees the same way again.
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Vector: It would be cooler if it had laser arms.
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Griffin: Mm-hmm.
13:16
The little mermaid is terrified but determined.
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She ties her hair up tight so the polypi can't grab it, crosses her arms over
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her chest, and swims as fast as she can.
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She sees the polypi holding bones of drowned sailors, ship parts,
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and worst of all, a dead mermaid.
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But the little mermaid never quits.
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Finally, she reaches a clearing where she finds a house made of human
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bones collected from shipwrecks.
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And there is the sea witch, letting a toad eat from her mouth while
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poisonous snakes crawl all over her.
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Oh, and by the way, she calls the snakes her "little chickens".
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Vector: This must be customary in mermaid culture.
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Spark: Nope, hard pass.
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Griffin: Yeah, no, it's messed up even in mermaid culture.
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" I know what you want," says the witch right away. "You want legs.
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You want that prince.
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You want a soul.
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It is very stupid of you, but I'll help you, even though it will probably destroy
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you." The witch explains the deal.
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She'll make a potion that will split the mermaid's tail into
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legs, but there's a catch.
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Every step will feel like walking on sharp knives.
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She'll still be graceful.
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In fact, she'll be the best dancer anyone's ever seen, but it's
14:39
gonna be really, really painful.
14:42
" Also," says the witch, "once you become human, you can never be a mermaid again.
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If the prince marries someone else, the morning after his wedding, your heart
14:54
will break, and you'll turn into seafoam.
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And one last little thing," says the witch,
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" My payment, it's not much.
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I want your voice.
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I'll have to take your tongue."
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Spark: What in the…
15:12
Griffin: What is that sound?
15:13
Vector: Sorry, I sat on one of my buttons.
15:16
Griffin: Spark, what were you saying?
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Spark: I was asking, what in the world is she thinking?
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What kind of deal is that?
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Vector: The deal is she gets legs and a chance to earn a soul in
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exchange for eternal pain, no tongue, no speaking, no way to turn
15:30
back into a mermaid, and immediate death if he marries someone else.
15:34
Does that answer your question?
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Spark: It was a rhetorical question, Vector.
15:38
No need to answer.
15:39
Vector: I like to answer.
15:40
Spark: She's not really gonna do this, is she?
15:43
Griffin: Let's find out "But then how will I win the prince?"
15:47
asks the little mermaid.
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" You will have your beauty, your grace, your expressive eyes.
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That should be enough," says the witch.
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Spark: That does not sound like enough.
15:58
Griffin: Personally, I agree, but the Little Mermaid is determined to
16:01
make it work, so she takes the deal.
16:04
Spark: Noooooo.
16:05
Oh, oh, maybe she actually has her fingers and, like, flippers
16:09
crossed, and she tricks the witch, and she gets her super cool legs,
16:12
but none of the terrible stuff.
16:14
Right?
16:15
Please say yes.
16:17
Griffin: The witch makes the potion.
16:19
She throws in snakes, poisonous toads, and all kinds of horrible things.
16:24
She cuts her own chest and drips her black blood into it.
16:27
The steam makes shapes like screaming ghosts, and when it's
16:31
done, it looks clear as water.
16:34
Then the witch takes the little mermaid's tongue.
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Spark: She really did it.
16:39
Vector: I am going to be sick.
16:40
Ha ha, just kidding.
16:41
Only puny humans get sick.
16:44
Griffin: Mm-hmm.
16:45
Now, the little mermaid can't speak or sing.
16:48
She takes the potion and swims back through the forest of polypi.
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This time, they're so scared of the potion, they shrink away from
16:55
her, and she passes through easily.
16:58
Back at the palace, the party is over.
17:01
Everyone's asleep.
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The little mermaid wants to say goodbye, but she can't even speak.
17:06
So with tears in her eyes, she swims up to the human world.
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Vector: I wonder how much of the ocean is made of mermaid tears.
17:14
Griffin: That's a delightfully weird question.
17:16
Vector: Thank you.
17:17
Griffin: It's probably a really small amount.
17:19
But here's the bad news.
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Spark: The prince is actually a merman?
17:21
Griffin: What?
17:22
No.
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That's the end of episode one.
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Spark: What?!
17:26
Vector: Come on.
17:27
Griffin: I know, I know.
17:28
But don't worry.
17:28
In episode two, you'll hear the second half of the story.
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Oh, at the end-
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Spark: No spoilers, please.
17:35
Griffin: I wasn't gonna.
17:36
Vector: You are a terrible liar.
17:39
Griffin: Hey, if you enjoyed this episode of Stories for Robots,
17:42
take a minute to support the show.
17:45
First, follow the show wherever you're listening.
17:48
Spark: Oh yeah, do that now.
17:49
It takes, like, three seconds.
17:51
Griffin: Second, please, please, please share the show or this episode
17:55
with anyone you think might enjoy it.
17:57
Vector: Yes, hit that school WhatsApp chat.
18:00
Spark: Oh!
18:01
Or post to that parenting Facebook group.
18:03
Vector: Or text your cousin Billy, whose kids watch too much YouTube.
18:07
Griffin: And finally, give the show a five-star rating
18:09
wherever you're listening.
18:11
Spark: That's it?
18:11
Griffin: That's it.
18:13
Thanks for making it possible to keep this show coming.
18:18
Vector: Stories for Robots was created by Griffin Schwed.
18:21
Special thanks to Jack, Chloe, and Annie Farber for editorial
18:25
consultation and moral support.
18:27
This episode was written and produced by Griffin Schwed.
18:30
Griffin Schwed is the editor with editing help from Griffin Schwed.
18:33
Voices are performed by Griffin Schwed.
18:36
Hey, these credits are ridiculous.
18:38
I'm not reading these.
18:39
Spark: Yeah, why would you write them this way, dude?
18:41
You could just say Griffin Schwed created the show.
18:44
Griffin: If you'd like to support or learn more about the show,
18:47
visit www.storiesforrobots.com.
18:50
Email hello@storiesforrobots.com if you have questions,
18:54
feedback, or ideas for the show.
18:56
I'd love to hear from you.
18:59
Vector: Robot disclosure.
19:01
My voice and Spark's voice are given a beautiful robot
19:04
makeover using AI technology.
19:06
That is why we sound so cool and good.
19:08
Spark: We really do.
19:10
Oh, and the background music was also created using AI tech.