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Why some narcissists have trouble sleeping at night · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're talking about how some narcissists struggle to
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  fall asleep at night. Why do some narcissists stay up
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  late every day? See, like every night if you new
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  here? My name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist.
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  And welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  So boom, boom, boom, boom. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Yes. Why can't some narcissists sleep
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  at night? I know you.
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  I know. So this is going to be a little
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  off topic right here, because I know what you normally hear in
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  the realm of narcissistic toxic abuse and narcissistic
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  relationships. You hear about sleep
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  deprivation, how some narcissists will keep you up at
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  night, right? You'll hear about the sleep
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  deprivation tactic or narcissistic people or sleep
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  torture where they will literally keep you up at night
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  to argue, fuss and fight. We especially when you have
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  something important coming up, especially when you try to hold
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  them accountable. They just refuse to let you go
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  to sleep because they're you hurt their feelings.
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  You made them feel a certain type of way.
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  So now they're just like, you know what?
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  Hell no. You going to feel this?
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  You going to deal with this? You're going to Yeah, you.
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  This is part. This is going to be part of your
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  life. You know you're not.
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  They won't let you go to sleep until the plans are like until
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  they feel satisfied. You know what I mean?
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  That's what they'll do right there.
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  And you see the reason that a lot of them can do that is
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  because they don't sleep at night.
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  You know, even if they have to get up in the morning, they will
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  mess with you. They they can keep you up late
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  at night because they don't. A lot of narcissists don't sleep
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  well at night. And I will say this right here,
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  but I know people will come on the video and just like Lee,
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  you. What the hell are you talking
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  about? Look, this does not just apply
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  to all narcissists. Some narcissists can sleep like
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  a baby at night and having trouble sleeping at night does
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  not make you a narcissist. Y'all.
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  I know people. Y'all.
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  Some people take that and just like, well, Lee, I I have, you
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  know, I have a insomnia. Am IA narcissist.
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  I'm an impact. I care.
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  Like no, it isn't goose FRA. It doesn't necessarily make you
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  a narcissist 'cause you have trouble sleeping at night.
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  What you do, what you do throughout the day, is what
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  makes you a narcissist. You know what you what you do
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  throughout the day is what is what makes you narcissistic.
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  You know? And if you keep your partner up
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  at night to argue and finish an argument, that doesn't
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  necessarily make you a narcissist either.
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  It's the intent that matters. Intentions, intent, the real
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  person that matters. Y'all let me get it out of the
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  way right now because I know people will see that you're
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  like, well, I don't sleep. I don't sleep well at night.
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  I thought I was an empath, so I'm a nurse.
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  No, no, that's not what I said. That's not what I said.
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  But, but a lot of people fall into this space where they feel
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  like, you know, they they asked me the questions, like my
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  narcissistic ex or my narcissistic husband, my
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  narcissistic partner, wife, whatever.
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  They have trouble sleeping at night because yeah, I know
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  people are going to say that the devil, the devil does his work
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  at night. You know, the freaks come out at
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  night. That's why narcissists have
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  trouble sleeping at night. I think this for me personally
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  as well, because this happens to me a lot, is that we, it's our
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  minds don't shut down. That's why it's hard for me to
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  meditate. That's why you might get a lot
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  of narcissists. That is hard for them to
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  meditate because they can't shut.
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  We can't shut our minds down. Our minds are running a mile a
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  minute. There's always, we're always
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  thinking of a lot of different things.
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  There are a lot of narcissists, including myself, that have
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  other diagnosis as well. You know, it's just not
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  narcissistic personality disorder that I'm diagnosed
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  with. I also have general anxiety
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  disorder and general and general anxiety disorder and depression
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  as well. So sometimes I'm just too
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  depressed to go to damn sleep. I feel like I'm feeling.
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  I feel like nothing is good enough.
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  I didn't, I feel like I didn't have a good enough day.
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  I feel like I could have done more so I can't go to sleep
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  because I feel like I could have done more.
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  But then you know what happens? I'll end up on the phone
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  scrolling and then doing less. You know, I like I can maybe I
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  can write a little bit. I'll scroll on Twitter for 30
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  minutes. I had to delete.
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  I just deleted the Twitter last night because of this.
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  I'll scroll on Twitter for additional 30 minutes and I look
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  at the clock. I'm like, I'm going to scroll
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  for 30 minutes. Oh my God, I'm wasting more
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  time. So now I'm more anxious.
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  Now I'm more depressed because I said because I stayed up later
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  and didn't get anything else additional accomplished.
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  You see how that works? It's crazy how that works
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  sometimes. Y'all within that space because
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  that's the mindset of a lot of narcissistic people.
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  Like damn, like we can't, you know, we struggling to do this
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  already. But like we we didn't have a
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  good enough. Nothing we do is good enough
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  anyway. Like we don't think anything
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  that we do is good enough anyway.
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  We're always looking for more. So no matter what we do, it
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  would seem like it's not enough. So when we get ready to go lay
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  down to take our peaceful slumber like a vampire, like a
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  or like a bat and try to sleep upside down or something like
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  that, you know you got a little narcissistic bat that sleeps
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  upside down in the closet. It just we can't shut our minds
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  off. We feel like we failed, right.
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  We feel like we failed throughout the day.
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  We could have done more. We we didn't, we didn't do
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  enough. Even though we did everything we
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  did. We could, yeah, we could have A
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  to do list full of stuff and get everything done and still feel
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  like we could have done something different.
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  For we forget something right before we go to bed.
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  We forget something that's on there, right?
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  We forget. So we we forget something and
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  add something else to the To Do List.
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  Now we feel like the whole day is ruined.
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  So now we get depressed, now we get anxious and now we can't go
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  to sleep. Eventually somebody eventually
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  we fall asleep. Most most of us do fall asleep
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  eventually. But it's just like, it's just
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  that constant mind running like literally a mile a minute.
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  A one minute mile, you mean right over.
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  Roger. Roger Bannister ran that 4
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  minute mile we went. Our minds are running.
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  One minute miles. We are just bugging it.
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  We are bugging it. Seriously. 15 second intervals.
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  But that's Chris. Crazy how that works though.
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  Y'all I know what people are going to say, like, well, is
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  there anything we can do? Well, we can.
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  Can we clap cheeks and stuff like that and help them put them
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  to sleep. You can clap cheeks with them
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  and they still stay up. Y'all they'll be up looking at
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  you, staring at you. I didn't clap the cheeks, right.
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  I failed in this position. Like, the mind works.
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  Weird. Yeah.
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  I'm telling you, you feel like you're disappointing everybody
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  in the world. You feel like you're
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  disappointed not only yourself, you're disappointing everybody
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  in the world. So you can't go to sleep because
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  this is one of the signs of, like the depression part of it,
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  you know, it really, really is. And again, if this sounds like
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  you, it doesn't necessarily mean that you're a narcissist.
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  Yeah, I'm just telling, you know, people they sound like me.
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  I feel like I'm letting the word, yeah, it doesn't
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  necessarily make you a narcissist, but a lot of
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  narcissists do this. That's the mindset right there.
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  It really, really is. It's hard to tell to sleep, go
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  to sleep at night and shut your mind off when you feel like
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  nothing you do is good enough, nothing anybody else done did,
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  it was good enough, you know? And it's just like if something,
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  if you have something big the next day or you have a stressor,
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  a major stressor that's playing out the next day, you see it so
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  hyper focused on failing at it or it not being good enough or
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  doing your job good enough that you say you can't go to sleep.
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  So you you actively like we're actively self sabotaging
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  ourselves by not allowing our minds to shut down and not going
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  to sleep. So then if we have something to
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  do tomorrow that's important now we're tired when we do it.
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  So it's it's kind of like a self fulfilling prophecy.
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  We think we we don't think we're going to do the task tomorrow
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  good enough. So we stress about it and we're
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  paranoid about it the night before, right.
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  So we don't sleep and then we might get an hour or two of
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  sleep and then we go, we go to the job or the project the next
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  day and we're tired and we, like I said, we already then we do
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  the job half assed, you know, Then we don't do the job is good
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  enough, then we don't do the project that's good enough.
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  Then we don't do the work is good enough and then we fail at
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  it. So it's like a self fulfilling
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  prophecy. Then you go to, you go home that
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  night right after you failed at that project or whatever, you
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  didn't do good enough on it. And even if you did do good, you
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  just feel like you could have been better and then you get
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  mad. And then he's like I failed at
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  that project. You hyper focus on that.
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  So now you can't go to sleep. You see it's just like we it's
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  hard for narcissists to let things go.
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  It's hard for us to be content. It's hard for us to be satisfied
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  and what not. It really really is.
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  And like I say, it has way less to do with y'all I know y'all.
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  I know the partners and the kids of narcissists.
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  I know you're like is there anything we can do?
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  Yo, you can try to be there for them, but sometimes they'll talk
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  to lash out on you. They started to lash out on you.
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  When their minds are running the mile a minute, they will take
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  their anger and their frustration out on you because
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  they feel like they'll look at you.
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  Now you're a target. You just made yourself a target.
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  It's kind of like, what's that movie, A Quiet Place.
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  I think it's called a quiet place where the the creatures
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  attack you if you make noise. So it's just like the narcissist
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  my mind, the narcissistic person's mind is running the
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  mile. I made it right and everything
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  is quiet and you say, hey babe, and then attack you.
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  You could just play the quiet game and being OK You see what
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  I'm saying? But I know with your partner,
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  you a good partner, you a parent, your son, whatever.
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  I have a daughter. I know, y'all care.
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  I know it's just coming from a place of you caring, you know?
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  So. But it's just like your empathy,
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  your compassion. That's when it gets turned.
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  That's when it gets turned against you right there.
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  That's where they it it becomes a weapon against you.
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  That means your compassion, your empathy kind of puts you in
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  harm's way. Now, you know, it's just like
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  trying to save a you're trying to save somebody that's trying
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  to unlock themselves and then you also get unlocked.
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  Like they have, they land on, they, they are like on the train
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  tracks and something like that. Refuse to move and they're too
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  heavy. And now you just put yourself in
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  danger because you are a you, you, you, you care about that
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  person. You said, I know that, I know, I
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  know that was bleak right there. But that's how some narcissist
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  minds works out. Like you can't move them off
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  this topic, you can't move them off this subject.
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  You know what I mean? I do.
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  I sleep better now than I'm in therapy.
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  Yeah. I I sleep better now because I'm
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  able to kind of shut my mind down more because I'm.
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  I have the ability to be more content and OK with whatever job
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  I've done that day or even if I have a stressor tomorrow, I will
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  still turn my forcing myself to turn my phone off and just close
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  my eyes until I fall asleep, You know, in the darkness and just
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  close my eyes and you know count little impacts jumping over the
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  fence. You know.
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  Just count my little little little empathetic compassionate
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  people jumping over the fence. Little narcissists jumping over
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  the fence instead of sheep. We can't we count narcissists
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  and impacts jumping over the fence, you know.
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  But that's how it goes though. Yeah.
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  That's why I'm telling you that's This is why I know some
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  people will take it spirit. I know some people will take it
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  spiritual like lady. The reason they can't sleep
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  because they got a devil in them.
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  You know the reason they can't sleep because they they have the
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  evil and the devil don't let them sleep, you know.
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  God, God, God don't give sleep to the God.
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  Don't let the wicked sleep. So that's why they can't sleep.
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  Lee. I know, Lee, we get it.
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  We know you're a narcissist and you you know, we trying to you
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  trying to spread awareness, whatever.
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  But like the devil don't let them wicked bass and sleep.
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  That's why they can't sleep. That's why they can't have
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  trouble sleeping right there, you know.
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  But that's part of it right there.
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  It is part of it and like a lot of narcissists do struggle to
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  sleep at night. It's just like it really is like
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  you feel like you haven't done enough, you feel like too much,
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  the world is too much or whatever and you end up self
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  fulfilling their prophecy because now you going to the
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  next day tired and that cycle continues.
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  You know, unless you just pass out and get a melatonin or
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  something like that and then you pass out, you know you need a
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  sleep aid or something like that.
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  But then you get some narcissists that drink
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  themselves to sleep. The only way they can go to
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  sleep is with a 12 pack or a six pack or something like that.
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  But you see how that becomes an issue as well.
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  You know, that absolutely absolutely becomes an issue as
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  well. So it's just like it really is a
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  wild dynamic where you have to live with somebody like this
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  when you're trying to survive with something like this.
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  It really, really is. Well, thank you for tuning in
• 11:54
  today's episode. Y'all.
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  I truly appreciate every single one of y'all.
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  Because as much as y'all learn from me, I learn even more from
• 11:58
  you. Check out my many courses in my
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  Peace.