Latest / Authentic Living / Kevin Kelly International Sales Expert, shares the skills to be a top producer in todays' Attention Economy

Transcript

Kevin Kelly International Sales Expert, shares the skills to be a top producer in todays' Attention Economy · Authentic Living

• 0:01
  Welcome to authentic living with Roxanne, a place where we have as conversations about
• 0:08
  things that really matter in our lives.
• 0:12
  And now here's your host, Roxanne Durgesh.
• 0:38
  Hi, everyone.
• 0:39
  It's, Roxanne Derhodge.
• 0:40
  Thanks for tuning in again.
• 0:41
  This week, I have a colleague, Kevin Kelly.
• 0:44
  Hi, Kevin.
• 0:44
  How are you today?
• 0:45
  Hi, Roxanne.
• 0:46
  How are you?
• 0:47
  Heaven's all the way out over in Ireland.
• 0:49
  So we're gonna have to chat with him about that today.
• 0:51
  So I'm gonna tell you a little bit about Kevin's background, and he's done some
• 0:55
  fascinating things out there in, the speaking world.
• 0:58
  And also the training world.
• 1:00
  He's authored 5 books.
• 1:02
  He's also has 3 d CDs.
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  The most recent is do the pursuit of exceptional execution and exceptional is
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  spelled with an x at the beginning described by Tom Peters as the book he would have loved to
• 1:16
  have written has broken sales records across industries and cultures, working with Microsoft
• 1:21
  Worldwide partner community on exceptional selling, to manufacturers of construction
• 1:27
  equipment.
• 1:28
  Kevin has saw them all.
• 1:30
  He's addressed audiences across the globe.
• 1:33
  In as much as 35 plus companies from Korea to Columbia San Francisco to Hong Kong and has
• 1:40
  also fundraised up a €1,000,000 for several projects that's helped build 2 schools in
• 1:45
  Africa.
• 1:46
  Wow.
• 1:46
  Pretty amazing, Kevin.
• 1:48
  And a local youth building and many sport facilities.
• 1:52
  Something of notices, he scored a Volley from the half line in a competitive soccer patch.
• 1:57
  Sorry, Adam in parenthesis, whoever Adam, Adrian, whoever Adrian is, I'm sure he's gonna
• 2:04
  love this inch.
• 2:08
  He was happy about that goal that I can tell you.
• 2:11
  So so thank you so much for coming in today to chat.
• 2:15
  Kevin and I recently met in, Florida at a, speaking events.
• 2:20
  So I thought it would be interesting for him to come in and just chat about what he does
• 2:24
  because in today's society, I would say that most of us are super, super distracted all the
• 2:32
  time.
• 2:32
  I would say I'd like to believe that I would say often, but I would say most of the times.
• 2:37
  And I'll give you an example of what happens in my life.
• 2:41
  With my son, he will say to me, mom, you need to put your phone at the front, you know, on
• 2:47
  the shelf and I go, oh, why he goes, do you realize how much you're on it?
• 2:52
  And he, you know, that'll stop me, and I'm pretty good at staying present in those types
• 2:56
  of things.
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  And Here's a a teenager telling his mom that she's not present.
• 3:01
  And and, you know, with Kevin, I know that you speak a lot on that.
• 3:04
  So How much are you kind of seeing out there in the world with?
• 3:10
  Well, look, I mean, it's endemic.
• 3:13
  That's the first thing.
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  And I suppose we'll start with the positive.
• 3:16
  If you're either a company or an individual, let's say say an individual, Well, I think the
• 3:22
  biblical code of, with a slight twist listeners will inherit the the arts because there's no
• 3:28
  doubt about it.
• 3:29
  That if you are a good listener, you're gonna become very popular to your community because
• 3:33
  you're going to be a very rare item.
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  That's the reality.
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  And, obviously, the message for companies as well is to listen.
• 3:40
  Absolutely.
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  No question about that.
• 3:42
  But let me go at a story level first.
• 3:45
  All you've gotta do is walk down to the mall and watch 2 people interacting.
• 3:50
  And what you would have seen is one person talking other person, if you watch their body
• 3:54
  language, are clearly not listening.
• 3:58
  The first person stops, with their monologue, and the second person then starts with their
• 4:03
  monologue.
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  So basically, as I've said many times, and monologues have replaced dialogues and
• 4:11
  presentations have replaced conversations, and that's just reality.
• 4:15
  The stats stack up as well.
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  They say that the average attention span in 2005 was 12 seconds, They now say that the
• 4:24
  average attention span is 8 seconds, and the average attention span of a goldfish is 9
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  seconds.
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  So that puts it in context.
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  And in terms of, you know, I can give you a 100 different studies, University of California say
• 4:37
  we start the task, were interrupted every 3 minutes 5 seconds, and the interest in Pingden,
• 4:43
  according to Gloria Mark, who did the study, is it takes another 23 minutes after that to get
• 4:49
  back to the task at hand.
• 4:51
  So you can imagine I'd say if you worked out you know, people on the job and on the work
• 4:56
  they do in the day, well, if if you pass 50 or 60 percent of the the time you're at the desk,
• 5:02
  I'd say that's been very optimistic to put on my leg.
• 5:05
  You know, so yeah, it's endemic.
• 5:07
  But I always like to, you know, flip it and say that obviously, so let's say for any people who
• 5:14
  are salespeople out there, we're all in selling ideas selling ideas to our kids.
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  We're all in the selling game to a degree.
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  Without a doubt, if you are present, if you are in the moment, if you are listening to people,
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  If you are repeating back what they've said, if you are solving their problems, you're gonna
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  become one hell of a mighty hiss in the community without a doubt.
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  You can do it.
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  Yeah.
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  For sure.
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  And I think what's happening is that we're we're underestimating, the cost of connection
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  because You know, a lot of times in my role, as a consultant in companies is that we co there's
• 5:51
  the term, I'm sure you've heard it, presenteeism.
• 5:53
  Yeah.
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  So a lot of people are present So if you look at kind of the metrics of, you know, what's
• 5:59
  supposedly, you know, what are what's it saying about my my employee base is that, you know,
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  Jim is there at work all the time, but me.
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  I'm getting 55% productivity from him.
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  And but he's flying under the radar because he's not hitting any kind of bells and whistles
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  for HR potentially to for him to have an issue at work.
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  But he's oftentimes the the the, you know, the slice of the population that's causing causing
• 6:26
  companies, most of the money in productivity.
• 6:30
  Yeah.
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  Totally.
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  And I suppose I'm gonna switch it and flip it back to sales just to put it in in, like, in my
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  framework.
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  If Jim is at his table or if he is in any way of interacting with a client and he is not
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  present, we are really losing out because is now becoming very much a team sport and you
• 6:47
  have to have everybody engaged.
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  But there's no question that people, you cannot measure productivity on who turns up a more You
• 6:54
  measure you have to really measure productivity on outcomes, specific outcomes.
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  That's the bottom line because presentation is as big a problem as absent absenteeism,
• 7:04
  obviously.
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  They're not there.
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  That's the bottom line, you know.
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  And that's that's the way it's going to be for, you know, I mean, like, one of the things I'd
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  be very clear on as well is, and we talked a lot about this in Florida is, you know, not
• 7:18
  it's not just a case of even attempting to sake at being there for for companies and for people
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  to really survive and thrive, they have to be authentically there They have to have positive
• 7:29
  intent to be there in the first place.
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  They have to be in room, and that's how you transform sales of an organization.
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  And, like, I I'll give you, you know, I know, like, my sales talk, but, you know, I've been
• 7:40
  asked so many times, how do you actually break sales records across industries, and it's very
• 7:45
  simple.
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  It's sell people back their product.
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  That's as simple as it is.
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  How how does that work out?
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  It means that I'm going in, listening to people's problems, understanding exactly the
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  problems, the challenges that they have in their organization.
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  And I present my product in that framework.
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  And if it doesn't fit, I go back to my my to to base and see what part of the ideas that I got
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  from the customer can be integrated into the product and I go back to them again and say,
• 8:18
  listen, Roxanne.
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  We talked about this 2 weeks ago, and you mentioned a, b, and c.
• 8:22
  Just want to tell you one of the things we've now done with our product is we've added a and
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  b is in the pipeline, but at the moment, a, so I'm selling them back their product.
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  There's an emotional investment and Roxanne is much more likely to buy something she's
• 8:36
  invested in than my idea.
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  So but may I also, very quickly go on to say this, is that, obviously, you have to be able
• 8:46
  to set something on value and you are solving problems.
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  I'm not suggesting this is a method of, you know, scamming people.
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  The intent has to be good from the outset.
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  So, you know, you've worked I mean, you've worked with huge industries to to train their
• 9:00
  their their staff, right, like you said, at the end of the day, I get up.
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  I have multiple customers by opening my eyes.
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  Right?
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  I have my son.
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  I have, you know, the person that's picking up my recycle.
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  I have lots of things.
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  You know, the person at the coffee shop, wherever.
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  I'm always selling my Right?
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  So really, and, you know, with me, I talk about authenticity.
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  The more connected we are to ourselves, you know, we're able to kind of mirror that to
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  others and people can read us.
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  Right?
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  And and we underestimate, the mirror neurons.
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  Like, you know, when I met you in in Florida, I knew.
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  I thought, okay.
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  Well, this guy's an interesting guy.
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  A little bit of a a little bit of a funny accent.
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  I'm joking.
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  Love the accent.
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  But, you know, like, what makes me want to spend a little bit more time with people.
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  And and oftentimes we think, oh, well, there's a there's a different vibe.
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  Right?
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  So vibe is just that.
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  Vibe is about Okay.
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  This is who I am.
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  Who are you?
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  And we may not be seeing anything to each other other than my mirror neurons and which business
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  proven, you know, Correct.
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  Can you and kinda getting a sense of, okay.
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  What what's this lady about?
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  Do I wanna chat with her more?
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  And if we're doing that in any conversation at work, or constantly selling.
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  Correct.
• 10:10
  Yeah.
• 10:10
  But let's go back to the analysis.
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  The interesting you brought up some really interesting there because the whole app the
• 10:16
  whole field, for example, I did NLP in 1996, and I actually did it, you know, to us when I
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  was the complete dreamer, still the dreamer, but I did in the same school that, Anthony
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  Robbins did it as trained by the people.
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  But one of the key parts of their, you know, whole process is matching and mirroring.
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  And, I didn't actually realize that the bottom line is mirror neurons are automatic.
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  We don't have to go to a course for it.
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  It's been established by the University of Upsala we have in our own neurons, and it is
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  our natural state.
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  So that's number 1.
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  But number 2 is this is, which I think is really important is that what people have to
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  realize is that they may think that, yeah, we turn up and, you know, we we'll try our best to
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  create an impression But without them opening their mouth, they are screaming at me.
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  Everything I need to know about them.
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  I'll tell you a funny story.
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  This is a true story.
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  I was brought in by a multinational to assess the directors of the company.
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  Does 25, directors been flown in from all around the world that was US Multinational And,
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  so we're getting the room set up, it was a really lovely sunny day.
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  I always remembered.
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  And as we're setting up the room, one of the directors walks in, walks past me, doesn't say
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  hello or anything.
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  You know, no big deal.
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  Walks to the podium, puts his hands on the podium, looks around like this.
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  Only me and him were in this small room and he goes, yeah.
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  I could do this.
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  Yeah.
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  I could do this, and I was going, oh, okay.
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  Whatever.
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  Good.
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  Good for you.
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  Didn't didn't interact.
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  Didn't pay any attention to it.
• 11:57
  Sounds okay.
• 11:58
  So in walks to twenty five people, so if you can imagine the room, it's three rolls of age,
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  twenty five people squashed in nicely together because good energy, I like that's the way I
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  work it.
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  And I noticed it very quickly a pattern that I've seen in, as you said, I've spoken 35
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  countries.
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  I've seen this in most rooms, I saw a guy sitting at the back, and he was very
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  uncomfortable in the seat.
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  So he was kind of moving a lot in the seat, And then he was doing the second thing, which is he
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  started looking around.
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  So he was looking at the rest of the audience.
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  Now I want to ask you what he was doing.
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  I'll tell you, in this case, but clearly I knew what was happening.
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  He was looking around to see was everyone is disengaged as he was, or was there anyone just
• 12:44
  like him?
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  Because that is your first stage when you, it's it's almost like Pfizer flight, but at the
• 12:51
  moment, he's he he he wants out.
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  And he needs to see somebody just like him to affirm his position to make him feel good.
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  So he looked around and at that time, the other 24 people were in rapport and they would seem
• 13:05
  to be quite interested in what I was saying.
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  So the next thing he did was because he couldn't find a body was folded his arms,
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  crossed his legs, and looked through me, not at me.
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  There's a very, very, you know, you're sad.
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  There's a soft look and you're totally engaged and there is a stair through.
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  So it's fine.
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  So I knew he wasn't enjoying the process.
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  So the director said to me, look, we want you to analyze people.
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  How long will it take you?
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  And I said, look, give me 5 minutes.
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  And he says, look, that's not possible.
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  I said, 5 minutes is perfect.
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  But I tell you what, let's talk at the first break.
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  So that was gonna be an hour, into the session.
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  It was a 3 hour session, and and I told him I'd give him the feedback at that So clearly, the
• 13:48
  break comes and lo and behold, who is the first person up to me with my friend with the folded
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  arms and legs crossed and clearly not happy And he shook my hand and he says, you are the most
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  amazing speaker I have ever seen in my life.
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  Amazing.
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  Amazing.
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  Now in my head, I was going, oh, give me a break.
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  Like, it's obvious.
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  You are completely disengaged, but of course, I didn't say that.
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  I just said, oh, thank you very much.
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  Up box to HR director and says to
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  me, okay.
• 14:17
  Where's my problems?
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  Tell me where my problem is in the room.
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  I says you got 2 problems.
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  You got one that's kind of unsure you'll be able to manage and I, of course, talked about
• 14:26
  the guy that came in at the start and put his hands on the podium.
• 14:30
  Obviously with a for a cry for attention and we have, you know, affirmation.
• 14:35
  Aren't you Grace?
• 14:36
  I said he's probably easy, but I said you've got a guy that's in that company at the moment.
• 14:40
  I suggest that he is probably quite poisonous.
• 14:44
  He tries to get people around him when he doesn't share your opinion.
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  And I'd say he's quite a challenge.
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  And he says who?
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  And of course, I mentioned the guy who said I was the best speaker in the world, and he says,
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  He just went absolutely bright red.
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  He says, do you know what?
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  We've opened up every window, every door upstairs hoping that he was gonna leave.
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  And leave the building for good.
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  We can't get rid of him for 10 years.
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  Who's the biggest problem?
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  And my point is this is, and this is the point about authenticity you know, I know they say
• 15:14
  fake it when you make it.
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  Sorry.
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  When you're around people that actually understand people, they will read you within
• 15:21
  seconds And the problem is if it's in the selling capacity that you are most people are,
• 15:27
  you have lost the deal because if I smell inauthentic, people around me that are trying
• 15:33
  to sell IDs to me, that says it's over, and that could take about 3 seconds.
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  So
• 15:38
  Again, it's going back to, like, what what's really going on internally, which is kind of
• 15:42
  what I consult on all the time.
• 15:44
  It's kinda like as a leader, for instance, let's say you're that head of that
• 15:49
  multinational, if if that's his his kind of setup or his blueprint, and he's not really
• 15:56
  kind of showing people that, you know, what he's about.
• 15:59
  Not that he's gonna share everything about his life, but maybe for a vision.
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  And he says, basically, you know what?
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  This is all you need to know.
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  Just get it done versus the leader that says, look, this is the vision.
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  This is why it means something to me.
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  This is why it's important is why we're projecting into maybe growing the business and
• 16:17
  this is my passion Once transparent, the other isn't.
• 16:23
  Correct.
• 16:23
  Now, but in this guy's case, the interesting thing is he was one of the directors.
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  He wasn't the managing director.
• 16:28
  But what he, like, if I was consulting with that company is, I said, I would be saying,
• 16:33
  this guy needs to complain.
• 16:35
  He needs to complain because I am absolutely sure that the people that are underneath them,
• 16:39
  and remember, all studies show Gallup the most recent study says that people leave because of
• 16:45
  their boss.
• 16:46
  So you can imagine if you were one of the direct lines to this guy who doesn't listen who
• 16:51
  wants to be the kingpin, who thinks he knows it all, etcetera, If I'm the manager director of
• 16:56
  him, I'm gonna take him aside and say, look, but this is the reality.
• 17:00
  This is what you're projecting.
• 17:02
  This is not the way we're gonna get towards our vision that you alluded it, we have got to have
• 17:06
  a more collaborative and real and authentic relationships with our direct lines.
• 17:11
  Are you willing to go here?
• 17:12
  I think you have to go that far with somebody like that.
• 17:14
  Because I'd say the biggest problem is that they hide away from and think the problem's
• 17:19
  gonna go away.
• 17:20
  It's not gonna go away.
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  That's the problem.
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  It has to be dealt with.
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  And for 10 years, the, you know, what is the what has the boss been?
• 17:27
  That's a thing.
• 17:28
  Right?
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  Because you're seeing it.
• 17:29
  You're seeing it within seconds.
• 17:31
  That he's coming up.
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  He's being in con he's being completely inauthentic because you've read just read
• 17:37
  through him in a in a roomful of twenty five people, and they've been seeing that nobody's
• 17:42
  been calling it?
• 17:43
  No.
• 17:43
  They haven't.
• 17:44
  But they have and they have been seen us.
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  They knew completely.
• 17:47
  Maybe they want me maybe they were hoping I was gonna come up and say it was somebody different
• 17:51
  and they'd go, hoo.
• 17:53
  Thank god he didn't see your man, you know, but then But as of the point is, and this is back
• 17:59
  to sales and about being authentic and so forth and so on.
• 18:02
  Part of your job is If you understand that attention is the most important and most
• 18:07
  powerful business drug at the moment and you decide, okay.
• 18:11
  The first step of attention for me, is the personal level.
• 18:15
  That's the building block.
• 18:17
  Who you are?
• 18:18
  And, you know, I always ask this question.
• 18:20
  I think you know, obviously a nurse, a question that's been asked by many, you know, speakers.
• 18:24
  But what's your why?
• 18:25
  You know, why why why are you doing it?
• 18:27
  Because if you love what you do, and you actually care about the customer.
• 18:31
  You don't need any sales training.
• 18:32
  That's gonna automatically come across from your presence.
• 18:36
  So if you're the big enough why, I think that that helps in terms of selling any type of
• 18:42
  idea.
• 18:43
  What you need, you really, really need to know what you're projecting.
• 18:46
  And also in that context, clearly, you need really good people around you that are willing
• 18:51
  to tell you the truth as opposed to what you want to hear.
• 18:54
  Which is the easy way out, you know.
• 18:56
  For sure.
• 18:57
  For sure.
• 18:58
  It's interesting stuff, man.
• 19:00
  Well, I mean, and if you think about it, like, with me, when I, you know, wasn't sure or when
• 19:05
  I say when when within a when I see my patients still in my practice, within seconds, I know
• 19:10
  what's going on.
• 19:11
  They'll tell me one word.
• 19:12
  And within seconds, I'm reading, and I know they're kinda checking me out.
• 19:17
  They're they're they're they're they're listening to me, but they're watching me And I
• 19:21
  often say to people, you know, this is a big investment in whatever you're doing, whether
• 19:25
  I'm training your your employees or I'm seeing the person in 1 to 1 or I'm coaching, So you
• 19:29
  have to make the best decision for you.
• 19:31
  So here's the deal.
• 19:32
  Let's have a conversation.
• 19:33
  You walk away.
• 19:34
  And if I'm not the right fit, by all means, take this as time that you spent with me.
• 19:40
  And whatever you gain from that, walk away with it, apply it, and I hope that's all you need.
• 19:45
  If you think there's need for more, then we can we can start having the conversation to work
• 19:50
  with.
• 19:51
  And I can say, Kevin, you know what?
• 19:52
  Without a doubt.
• 19:53
  And if I haven't gotache with someone, I will tell them it's not the right fit.
• 19:57
  And, you know, because because what ends up happening in the long run that I've done this
• 20:01
  over my career then I end up in the in the situation, and then there's other things that
• 20:06
  come up that it's a stumbling block that ends up being not the right fit.
• 20:09
  So you're right.
• 20:10
  Within know, what what is it that Malcolm Gladwell calls it?
• 20:13
  He calls it thin slicing.
• 20:14
  Yeah.
• 20:14
  Yes.
• 20:15
  Within seconds, you can feel it.
• 20:17
  And then you think, what What's going on?
• 20:19
  I'm feeling something.
• 20:20
  I don't know what I'm feeling.
• 20:21
  There's nothing.
• 20:22
  My my visual is telling me everything's in line, but that, you know, that guts you know,
• 20:27
  is is giving me something that's saying something out of is out of alignments, and they
• 20:31
  all just go back to, you know, based on, again, on research, which I'm sure you can probably
• 20:35
  give me all the actual numbers on this that, with brain cells that we have more in our
• 20:40
  stomach that we do actually in our on our brain because we have brain cells going throat her
• 20:45
  body all over of which the stomach has the most concentration of the episode.
• 20:50
  Listen.
• 20:51
  Well, I think what you several interesting points you make, but I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll
• 20:56
  I'll it's it's not an advert, but my second book was called life a trip towards trust.
• 21:00
  And what I meant was trusting your intuition.
• 21:03
  Because for me, I always ask this question at conferences at the start, you know, when we're
• 21:08
  analyzing people, etcetera.
• 21:10
  How many times have you met somebody for the first time and it just didn't feel right, but
• 21:16
  you decided to dismiss it exactly for the reasons you mentioned there, Roxanne, because
• 21:20
  you know, it's a left brain analysis.
• 21:22
  Well, everything is fine.
• 21:23
  And everything seems to be fine.
• 21:25
  All the optics are fine and, you know, however, it's a feeling.
• 21:28
  And I would say in every audience in the 35 countries and the thousands of people I would
• 21:36
  say 80% of people put their hand up that they disregarded their guts to their purr because
• 21:43
  they found out you know, it might be 2 months later, 3 months later, that that that feeling,
• 21:48
  that gut feeling actually held the truth.
• 21:51
  It was the wisdom, but they decided to go with the left brain analysis, which, you know, the
• 21:57
  one thing I've learned in life, you know, again, just stories, but in 1996, I decided
• 22:03
  this is the language.
• 22:04
  I was gonna write a best selling book.
• 22:06
  Now I got a d in English in my legal search, I've got a d in English in my junior search, so
• 22:11
  that's high school and junior school.
• 22:12
  So I I was consistently bad in English, but I decided it was right.
• 22:17
  It felt right, and I was gonna pursue it.
• 22:19
  So, without any analysis, and this is where it all fits in, I got an a four page I wrote down
• 22:27
  on it.
• 22:27
  I am a best selling author and I put it over my workspace, without any analysis of writing book
• 22:33
  because I've never written a book.
• 22:35
  I bought manuscript finished by May 25th, on another a four page.
• 22:40
  They were both over my workspace and both on the back of my office door as I went out.
• 22:46
  And my focus was on the dream.
• 22:48
  What I didn't do, which a lot of people do, and this is where the fight between intuition and
• 22:54
  knowledge comes in, and it's kind of interesting angle I'm taking is that most
• 22:58
  people take out another page.
• 22:59
  And what they do is the pros and cons of their dreams.
• 23:02
  You know, the positives and the negatives.
• 23:05
  Here's the interesting the interest in thinking about life at the moment, and we're in the era
• 23:09
  of information overload That's why I'm talking about an attention economy, loads of
• 23:14
  information, minimal broad width or bandwidth to processes, is that in this information age,
• 23:21
  you would always find enough reasons not tagged.
• 23:25
  So when you're doing pros and cons in 95% of the circumstances.
• 23:30
  Without a doubt, you will find you have a few pros, but you'll find you have a hell of a more
• 23:35
  side more cans.
• 23:36
  So even in 96, I said, no.
• 23:38
  You know what?
• 23:39
  I'm gonna go with it.
• 23:40
  I'm gonna focus on it.
• 23:42
  I'm gonna believe in it.
• 23:43
  My gut says it and I ran with And I'll just show you the back of the book.
• 23:46
  Well, that's the front.
• 23:47
  It's it's, you know, it's called how and you don't know how.
• 23:51
  How you don't know how?
• 23:52
  Okay.
• 23:52
  How you don't know how?
• 23:53
  And watch this.
• 23:54
  This is a picture that was taken in a pharmacy.
• 23:58
  And at the time, there's no Photoshop So I had a cold, you'll notice I had from the picture.
• 24:04
  And also, I was trying to model the gurus.
• 24:06
  And when I looked at all the American gurus at the time, they always kinda went like this.
• 24:11
  So I got a few things wrong though.
• 24:12
  So that's the picture.
• 24:14
  I don't know if you can see that.
• 24:15
  Yeah.
• 24:16
  Your hair is very dark there.
• 24:18
  I know.
• 24:19
  You'll also see a very red nose, and you'll also see a finger in my ear.
• 24:25
  I even got the guru pulls wrong.
• 24:28
  But, anyway, that book sold 15,000 copies.
• 24:31
  To put that in context, if you wanna get on the New York Times best seller, it's 11,000 copies.
• 24:37
  If you wanna get on to Wall Street, John, best seller for a week is 3000 copies.
• 24:41
  And in Ireland, in 1996, nobody written a book like that on motivation itself that nobody was
• 24:48
  the first of its kind.
• 24:49
  And motivation in Ireland because we're kind of, you know, healthily cynical about things.
• 24:54
  Yeah.
• 24:55
  Motivation was for the Loonies in 1990 6.
• 24:57
  So, you know, I was totally stepping outside, you know, I was right to be doing them,
• 25:02
  etcetera.
• 25:03
  But the reason I get that story is because It was driven by gosh, and everything I do is
• 25:09
  driven by gosh, sensory evidence would rule out absolutely everything I do normally.
• 25:14
  But I tend to go, no, it feels like I'm going for it.
• 25:17
  So you brought up something.
• 25:18
  The other thing I wanted to take on what you said, which I thought was very interesting, I
• 25:22
  think it will be interesting for your listeners just as a challenge of of what you said.
• 25:26
  You were willing to share as I am when I speak to companies, ideas with them.
• 25:32
  Here's the ideas.
• 25:34
  Is there something fine?
• 25:35
  If there isn't, that's fine.
• 25:37
  What I find with a lot of people both individually and are gonna, you know, when
• 25:43
  they're going for a job or when they're pitching an idea, they're always thinking, I
• 25:47
  don't want to give them too much information.
• 25:50
  Been honest with you, I think, you know, make the best pitch you can make.
• 25:55
  Give me the best you've got because if we connect I'm gonna pray with you regardless.
• 26:00
  You know, one of so many people say I've got an idea and, you know, I can't tell you everything
• 26:06
  about it.
• 26:06
  I'm going, by the time you finish this phone call, it's gonna be out of date.
• 26:11
  So act on us.
• 26:12
  Execute.
• 26:13
  You know?
• 26:14
  So Yeah.
• 26:15
  So absolutely intuition and also the ability to share and not being afraid.
• 26:20
  That's a sign of confidence in your ability when you are willing to share you're not gonna
• 26:25
  say, well, I could tell you about this.
• 26:27
  You gotta share.
• 26:29
  Kevin, that's an amazing story.
• 26:30
  So I I think I can mirror that in a way because I remember when I you know, I was consulting
• 26:36
  for 16 years, in health and wellness, and, you know, I I got the, you know, the golden
• 26:42
  handshake with the severance package and the the the I had the deer and the headlights.
• 26:45
  Okay.
• 26:46
  I had all this experience and all this stuff, but now what am I gonna do with my life?
• 26:50
  Right?
• 26:51
  And then I came up with this idea.
• 26:52
  I said, well, I'm just gonna write about what I know about, which is relationships.
• 26:56
  So here I have no job.
• 26:58
  You know, you know, within, I think, I severance and then I separated within 3 months.
• 27:05
  So I did all of that.
• 27:06
  No job.
• 27:06
  Okay, I'm thinking, okay, I don't know what I'm gonna do, but now I'm gonna write this book.
• 27:09
  So I think probably people around me that, you know, the people I really know me, they're
• 27:13
  probably thinking, you know, we know her.
• 27:15
  But other people are thinking, what is going on?
• 27:17
  And I thought, you know what?
• 27:18
  I'm just gonna know what write about what I know.
• 27:20
  Well, I am a relationship expert I've dealt with people from the front line of of chaos
• 27:26
  happening from, just something really traumatic all the way up to CEOs And the one strain that
• 27:32
  I know my gift is with this relationship.
• 27:34
  So I thought I'm gonna write about that.
• 27:37
  And I I like you.
• 27:39
  I was a good enough writer.
• 27:41
  You know, and, you know, thought I'm gonna write a book.
• 27:44
  If any of my English teachers probably know that now, they'd be like, what?
• 27:49
  The same.
• 27:50
  I did the same.
• 27:50
  Within six months, I had put out the book and done the whole bid becoming an Amazon
• 27:54
  bestseller.
• 27:55
  But if I had to listen to all the white noise that was coming at me with all the stress in my
• 27:59
  life and those types of things, I would not have thought through.
• 28:02
  Yeah.
• 28:02
  I would have said, you know, what gives you, you know, I have I heard people say, like, what
• 28:06
  what makes you think you can write a book?
• 28:07
  I'm sure you've heard those types of things prior to writing the first one, but it's kinda
• 28:12
  pushing against you know, what the world is kind of kind of cur you know, kind of pushing
• 28:17
  at you and then slowing down, which is what I talk about in my kind of process with,
• 28:22
  companies and with employees.
• 28:24
  It's about, you know, getting connected, but not getting connected in that I'm gonna do a
• 28:29
  pilates class or a yoga class once a week, but I talk about daily small little things that you
• 28:36
  do because we have everything around us.
• 28:39
  But it's focused on that helps us, you know, stays authentic and then brings us back to the
• 28:45
  present because we're either worrying about what's happened in the past or kinda
• 28:48
  catapulting into the future.
• 28:50
  So that's kinda what I talk about a lot, but so you're so right.
• 28:54
  Right?
• 28:54
  It's there's always those pros and cons in this economy.
• 28:57
  You're absolutely right.
• 28:59
  Because I often say to people when is the last time you just had nothing playing or you're
• 29:04
  thinking about nothing and you're just sitting there in silence, and most people will say to
• 29:09
  me, oh, oh, a couple months ago.
• 29:13
  Yeah.
• 29:14
  I know.
• 29:14
  But the key thing though there, and this is the key lesson that I've learned is execution
• 29:19
  though.
• 29:20
  You know, I mean, I think that's the like, the one thing I've always said is, you know, I
• 29:24
  always say, do it.
• 29:25
  That's I was delighted with the title due because that's been my life.
• 29:29
  That's the type of person I am, but I have found that, do it engage in the journey.
• 29:35
  And as I said, I will always guarantee people that they would end up in a place they
• 29:40
  recognize as better than their starting point.
• 29:43
  Now it may not be what they've written on that piece of paper, but engagement guarantees
• 29:49
  progress without a doubt.
• 29:51
  And it's just taken that step.
• 29:53
  And normally, there's so much fear in that first step that when you actually overcome
• 29:57
  that, magic happens regardless.
• 30:00
  But without a doubt, it's engagement, you know, and even for a company, like, if I'm talking to
• 30:05
  to companies about, you know, the whole idea of really putting attention at the forefront, you
• 30:11
  know, with the bottom line effect of increasing their sales, you know, I talk about, yeah, So
• 30:17
  we'll start with the person.
• 30:18
  We'll move on to collaboration.
• 30:20
  For the bottom line, the wheels underneath this whole process is a doing mentality.
• 30:26
  You're gonna do something, and let's see where that happens.
• 30:29
  And then the script will unfold itself.
• 30:31
  It's a bit like sales as well as I say as well in a slightly different way is so many people
• 30:37
  prepared their great salespeople with scripts and this time the other But the reality is the
• 30:41
  great salespeople just turn up unless the person's the other person's physiology dictate
• 30:46
  what they're gonna say.
• 30:48
  Because they're telling you what the script is if you're clever enough.
• 30:51
  So, yeah, it's kinda interesting.
• 30:52
  It's good fun, though.
• 30:53
  Good good job.
• 30:54
  Well, it
• 30:54
  is because it's about, you know, this fantastic script.
• 30:58
  And maybe somebody's, you know, just come in because they've got some bad news from at home,
• 31:03
  or maybe they didn't sleep that night.
• 31:05
  Some, you know, maybe they have their performance for your view and they're trying to
• 31:09
  kind of stay focused and you're not gonna get a new if you stop and say, Oh, it seems like you
• 31:14
  got a lot going on.
• 31:16
  Could be something very basic and they go, oh, does it show?
• 31:20
  Oh, yeah.
• 31:20
  It kinda looks like, you know, And then they might go, yeah.
• 31:23
  Yeah.
• 31:23
  I've had a a tough day today.
• 31:25
  Okay.
• 31:25
  Well, let me know, you know, how much time we should spend today.
• 31:28
  So at least they recognize that you recognize something's arrive with them versus you just
• 31:33
  kinda coming and you're you're you're pitching and kind of you gotta do it, but it's timing
• 31:38
  again because people remember that.
• 31:40
  Too about you.
• 31:41
  Oh, totally.
• 31:42
  And they they really remember when you've been in the moment and you understood and saw that
• 31:47
  this wasn't the moment for you to be talking is a hundred miles an hour.
• 31:51
  That that's really respected.
• 31:52
  I I've told Man, like, I won't mention the name again, but probably the biggest contract I've
• 31:57
  ever got was where I spoke to another speaker and they told me, oh, you gotta go to this
• 32:03
  organization because that's when you speak at this magic happens.
• 32:08
  And of course, I rang up the organizer, and I knew from her voice that she did not want to
• 32:14
  talk to me at that moment.
• 32:16
  So I often ask that question of, sales pros.
• 32:19
  What would you do?
• 32:20
  So you're onto the decision maker.
• 32:22
  It's the big moment and you hear it in her body.
• 32:25
  She doesn't want to talk to you.
• 32:26
  What do you do?
• 32:28
  And and to be honest with you, the majority of people aren't able to answer a fairly obvious
• 32:33
  question.
• 32:34
  Because because what you do is exactly what you said to there is I said, look, I'm not gonna
• 32:40
  mention the name of this color, Mary.
• 32:42
  I say, look, Mary, I I'm I'm guessing this isn't the best time.
• 32:46
  So I'm just wondering, will there be a time that would suit you and in the next, you know,
• 32:52
  few weeks, I'd love to chat here.
• 32:54
  Immediately, her voice changed.
• 32:57
  And she went, you're absolutely correct, and I you know, she didn't say it, but you knew that
• 33:01
  she was appreciative of it.
• 33:03
  And she says, actually, tomorrow is good.
• 33:05
  I'm gonna tell you the rest of the story because it's very funny.
• 33:08
  This company was in Chicago, Illinois.
• 33:10
  So if people are googling and trying to find out they'll work it out sooner than later.
• 33:14
  And she says, so I rang her the state, but now I'm ringing a person who wants to talk to me
• 33:19
  and has time to talk to me.
• 33:21
  That that's a big difference to somebody who is really stressed is not in the right moment and
• 33:26
  doesn't really want to talk to anyone, not just you.
• 33:30
  So she said, actually as it turns out, I'm going on holidays in the next 6 weeks.
• 33:36
  I said, oh, great.
• 33:37
  And, of course, like, every American.
• 33:40
  She was going on holidays to Ireland.
• 33:43
  Of course.
• 33:44
  And that's only when she go to Ireland.
• 33:47
  She was going to my city.
• 33:49
  And to make a long story short, I met her in the city, brought her around, with a great
• 33:56
  time.
• 33:56
  She was a really nice woman.
• 33:58
  And, sealed the deal and spoke in front of five thousand people as a result.
• 34:05
  And I suppose the the moral of the story again, it's back to attention.
• 34:09
  You're in the moment.
• 34:11
  You're listening.
• 34:12
  You're understanding.
• 34:13
  You notice the person not a good time.
• 34:16
  Get off the phone.
• 34:17
  It's very simple.
• 34:18
  Get off the phone.
• 34:19
  They don't wanna talk to you or anybody else.
• 34:21
  And when you do that, it's professional it's authentic and talk when they want to talk.
• 34:26
  And the rest is history.
• 34:27
  It's a, you know, the only thing I would say about selling, you know, you said it in the
• 34:31
  bio, you know, I've been involved in everything from many diggers, which is the guys that cut
• 34:37
  up your garden to big diggers to crystal to ambulances, to Microsoft, Worldwide, partner
• 34:44
  community, selling software, has pretty much been involved in selling everything.
• 34:47
  It's the same rules.
• 34:47
  It's very, very simple.
• 34:52
  Can you pay maximum attention to the customer?
• 34:55
  Can you deliver quality authentic attention to the customer?
• 34:59
  You know, it's all about that.
• 35:01
  And it's also about, you know, the clarity of your message.
• 35:04
  You know, who are you?
• 35:06
  What's your why is an individual level?
• 35:08
  As a corporate level, what your story?
• 35:10
  What are you bringing different to the the marketplace?
• 35:12
  How are you solving that customer's problems and so forth on?
• 35:15
  So it's very simple.
• 35:17
  You know, we talked about this in in Florida.
• 35:19
  You know, I had not for once ever said that's what I do is a maze ball.
• 35:24
  You know, at the end of the day, it's to transfer a very simple common sense principles
• 35:29
  probably in a a very good way.
• 35:31
  I suppose that's my delivery is, you know, not bad.
• 35:34
  I guess.
• 35:35
  But it isn't, you know, it's not amazing concepts that nobody's ever heard of before.
• 35:41
  But as I said, the reality is we are moving away from common sense.
• 35:44
  We're moving away from conversation.
• 35:46
  We are moving away from dialogue, and that's the reality.
• 35:49
  And we really need to take time to consider that.
• 35:53
  That's really important.
• 35:55
  And the people that do a bit of reverse engineering on it they're going to have a
• 35:59
  unique selling point as a result, which is very safe.
• 36:03
  When I all I I go back to Kevin that it's really basics.
• 36:06
  Right?
• 36:06
  It's kinda like, okay.
• 36:07
  I often say you know, we replicate how we were treated, you know, in our life.
• 36:12
  And if you just go back to kinda what are the and so I'm not mean that some people didn't
• 36:16
  grow up being intuitive and ready starting to listen to their guts and those types of things,
• 36:20
  but that doesn't mean that's not possible.
• 36:22
  We can all learn it.
• 36:23
  Correct.
• 36:24
  Right?
• 36:24
  Like, we we are human beings.
• 36:26
  We have bodies.
• 36:26
  We have thoughts.
• 36:27
  We have feelings.
• 36:28
  And if you've not kinda you kinda feel you're kinda a little bit disjointed, you can you can
• 36:32
  get connected in that way.
• 36:33
  So it's really about being a good person in the world.
• 36:36
  Thinking, you know, if I were in this situation, how would I want somebody to treat
• 36:39
  me?
• 36:39
  Like, if I'm having a rough day or if I'm juggling a deadline or something like that,
• 36:44
  what you did just said, I hear you.
• 36:47
  You're not saying it, but I hear you.
• 36:50
  Yeah.
• 36:50
  No problem.
• 36:52
  Yeah.
• 36:52
  So you're kind of mirroring back what she was giving you from a telephone, no doubt, and then
• 36:58
  saying, you know, what's gonna work, and it worked out really well.
• 37:01
  And I think people couldn't learn it's saying it's just about going back to some of the
• 37:04
  basics that we're getting away from, right, like actually sitting across from people having
• 37:09
  conversations.
• 37:10
  If I'm talking to someone and they're distracted, I'm gonna say to them, like, you
• 37:13
  know, we saw it in Florida too with us being busy and all that.
• 37:16
  You recognize if someone's talking to you and they're distracted, just say, oh, okay.
• 37:20
  Well, seems like you're a little bit let's catch up a little bit later.
• 37:23
  And then, you you know, if that's gonna be, it's gonna happen again if it's not meant to
• 37:27
  be.
• 37:27
  I think it's that some of those basic things that we're going back to.
• 37:30
  Things we should be doing in our everyday lives.
• 37:32
  It shouldn't just be about what we do at work.
• 37:35
  You know, it should be with people, you know, like with Connor or with your partner with
• 37:38
  myself, you know, kind of with people around you.
• 37:41
  How would people describe how you are in that space.
• 37:44
  It's the same kind of space that you should be taking out into the professional world in my
• 37:48
  opinion.
• 37:49
  I think you're absolutely right.
• 37:50
  And I think that that's Like, that's another really interesting point you brought up.
• 37:54
  And I know this is going to be quite a contentious point, but, people ask me, am I
• 37:59
  like this all the time?
• 38:00
  And the bad news is, Yeah.
• 38:03
  I don't change.
• 38:04
  You know, there's no, you know, and even, like, one that I've been asked many, many times, you
• 38:09
  know, So what is your prep for speaking?
• 38:12
  Like, you know, your pre kind of keynote, ritual, and and it's not in any way it's being
• 38:18
  smart.
• 38:19
  It's just saying it as it is because I've seen so many people, and it's the way they're
• 38:23
  working.
• 38:23
  That's fine.
• 38:24
  They're walking up and down behind the stage and they're you know, mentally program and
• 38:28
  etcetera, I say I just walk on stage.
• 38:30
  That's my preparation.
• 38:32
  I have to get up to the stage so much.
• 38:34
  You know what I mean?
• 38:35
  Because it's who I am.
• 38:36
  It's not it's not an act.
• 38:38
  It's who I am.
• 38:39
  So I don't have to mentally prepare a new Kevin for a speech because that's who I am.
• 38:45
  You know?
• 38:45
  So
• 38:46
  Which is which is, a good place to be, right, because you don't have to kinda set a prep to
• 38:52
  go on.
• 38:52
  You're just like, hey, I know my content.
• 38:54
  I know what I need to deliver.
• 38:56
  You know, I I get quiet because sometimes I find that if I'm doing I'm I'm the type I'm
• 39:01
  always doing a lot, so I try to before I go on, I'm quite a minute just to be completely quiet
• 39:06
  and then then I go on.
• 39:08
  But, you know, you still write congruence and authenticity is the key.
• 39:14
  Yeah.
• 39:14
  At the highest possible that I think so without a doubt, I think you can get away with it to a
• 39:17
  certain degree for a while.
• 39:21
  But for me, well, look, it's about living with yourself as well.
• 39:25
  Like, I know when the phone rings.
• 39:27
  Nobody ever tell me oh, you said this, like, you know, I'm going I know what I said.
• 39:34
  I don't you know what I mean?
• 39:35
  It's it's not, you know, I'm I don't play games.
• 39:37
  I you know, it comes at a cost.
• 39:39
  You know, people that are very honest can, you know, people might like it sometimes.
• 39:44
  They might prefer if you play the game, but I don't actually think you're serving people by
• 39:49
  telling them anything except the truth in a nice way, obviously, but on the same token, A
• 39:54
  lot of people would prefer to hear what they want a year, and that's normal
• 39:57
  too.
• 39:58
  Kevin, this has been amazing.
• 39:59
  It's, you know, it's funny, you know, when you meet people, and, you know, you kind of think
• 40:03
  about what what kind of speaking and consulting you do on and what I do as a mental health
• 40:08
  expert you know, we we're talking about, you know, different, maybe potentially different
• 40:12
  kinds of speaking, but really we're talking about people.
• 40:15
  Right?
• 40:15
  Yeah.
• 40:16
  For sure.
• 40:16
  For sure.
• 40:18
  Yeah.
• 40:18
  It's always about people.
• 40:20
  Now I know you're doing some, you you're doing some, interesting things here in, North
• 40:25
  America.
• 40:26
  So I hope that you would be able to tell people that would have enjoyed, listening to you today
• 40:31
  about where, what you're planning to do.
• 40:33
  And maybe if there's anybody out there that's interested in having you help, helping you out
• 40:38
  that they know how to reach you and tell them what you're doing.
• 40:41
  Yeah.
• 40:41
  Fantastic.
• 40:42
  Appreciate that.
• 40:43
  Well, obviously, over the next 12 months, I expect to be in the States quite a lot, which
• 40:48
  should be a nice enjoyable challenge.
• 40:50
  And look, if any of the people listening are involved with companies that are doing sales
• 40:55
  meeting or sales kickoff meetings or engagement meetings or sales meetings or sales training
• 41:00
  training Look, it'd be fantastic to hear from you.
• 41:03
  I'm, you know, it's very simple.
• 41:05
  My website is kevinkellyonlimited.com.
• 41:08
  No doubt you can share that.
• 41:09
  It's you in l I m I d.com, but it's, you know, just drop us an email and there's no problem.
• 41:17
  We can, you know, the one thing that I do with all speaker bureaus, for example, if there is a
• 41:22
  client that has a specific problem that wants to be solved, just like you talked about
• 41:25
  earlier, I'm very happy to get out to a Zoom call or a Skype call and talk for 15, 20
• 41:30
  minutes.
• 41:31
  See if there's anything there.
• 41:32
  If there isn't, no problem.
• 41:33
  We all walk away.
• 41:34
  No no big deal.
• 41:35
  So yeah.
• 41:36
  If anyone is work the company, and they think I could help them improve their sales and their
• 41:41
  engagement and their collaboration.
• 41:43
  Love to talk to them.
• 41:45
  Simple as that.
• 41:46
  Awesome.
• 41:47
  So for everyone, again, Kevin, this has been amazing.
• 41:50
  So I, you know, when we think about the attention economy, which is the, you know,
• 41:54
  concept of when I heard, Kevin talk about it in Florida, I was like, wow.
• 41:59
  That's that's that's so true.
• 42:01
  And we see it all around us, but to recognize that we have the capacity to just slow down and
• 42:06
  really get connected and listen.
• 42:08
  I know, you know, in whatever capacity, whether like it's, us being out with our friends or
• 42:13
  being meeting someone in a grocery line that, you know, people are constantly reading us.
• 42:17
  So if you're wanting to get better at it, just to try to see what kind of things are asked for
• 42:22
  feedback, with people around you about what kind of things you can do.
• 42:25
  So for myself, if you're needing more any more information, obviously, I'm a mental health and
• 42:30
  wellness expert.
• 42:31
  I do keynotes and, consulted and an executive coaching.
• 42:34
  You can reach me at Roxanne.
• 42:37
  Okay, everyone.
• 42:38
  Thank you, and take care till next week.
• 42:41
  Thanks for tuning in to authentic living with Roxanne, creating the space for positive
• 42:46
  healthy change.
• 42:48
  Roxanne is a keynote speaker, psychotherapist, and coach to work with Roxanne.
• 42:53
  Visit Roxanne Durgesh dotcom/blueprint.
• 42:58
  We'll see you next time.
• 42:59
  An authentic living with Roxanne.