Latest / Very Fine Friends / Tattoo and a Half Men

Transcript

Tattoo and a Half Men · Very Fine Friends

0:00
so i was at a business uh earlier today and i was talking to a young girl that works there
0:20
early 20s and um she would we were talking about comedy i mentioned that i do stuff with comedy and
0:27
then she was like oh yeah like i love comedy like who's your favorite comedian and i was like oh like
0:33
i you know i don't pay attention to stand-ups as much as i should um like i i yeah don't i don't
0:40
know who's like the new up-and-coming stand-ups now and then uh she was like oh i uh my favorite
0:47
of all time jim brewer which just struck me as so funny she's like i love him he was my favorite
0:57
it for forever and um i just thought that was really funny and then she was like so she's talking
1:04
about comedy as if she's like a comedy fan but her favorite is jim brewer and then she was talking
1:09
about like in like one of his specials um i think it was called i forget what it was like in the
1:14
light or something like that and he was talking about um a story there was a movie where he was
1:19
supposed to be stoned all the time i was like oh yeah half-baked and she's like yeah and most of
1:25
scenes he wasn't then one he accidentally was and he he said the guy that was i know
1:32
uh he's like uh one of the guy that was in the movie with him and i was like dave chapelle
1:38
he was like oh yeah i think that's it i was like okay i just thought it was really funny
1:43
she's just like talking about comedy like she's really into comedy and she doesn't know who dave
1:47
bell is but she loves goat boy it's weird like that's one of those things it's like
1:56
clearly she was shown that by her parents and like and so that that's her that's comedy or maybe a
2:03
boyfriend well she said she she said that her parents went to go see him on her birthday once
2:09
but she thinks she was like 10 when that happened and she was like oh you're going to see my favorite
2:14
on my birthday.
2:15
What are the odds
2:16
that your parents
2:17
would go see this guy
2:17
and then he would become
2:18
your favorite comedian?
2:20
Something's going on here.
2:22
Well, that's what I'm saying.
2:23
It's like clearly like,
2:24
it's like the parents' tastes
2:26
being impressed upon the children.
2:27
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
2:29
It's like people
2:30
who like black licorice.
2:31
Who told you to like that?
2:32
Yeah, you little idiot.
2:34
Yeah.
2:35
It's not good.
2:36
It's not even food.
2:37
No, not food.
2:39
And neither is Jim Brewer.
2:40
No.
2:42
Well.
2:43
Anyway, I just found that to be amusing
2:45
That is funny
2:47
Not funny ha-ha, apparently
2:49
What if she's a
2:51
What if she's a
2:54
Like a
2:55
Ticket seller or a promoter for him
2:58
Oh, if you're just doing like
2:59
Viral marketing
3:01
Gorilla marketing
3:02
You know who my favorite comedian is?
3:05
She opens her trench coat and there's all these tickets
3:07
Well, I mean, it's working
3:09
We're talking about it
3:11
And then our millions of listeners are now going to be thinking about Jim Brewer.
3:14
That's true.
3:14
Jim Brewer, if you're listening, and we know you are, you're welcome.
3:18
Yeah, great tactic, buddy.
3:19
Yeah, real smart.
3:21
Yeah.
3:22
You know, when you first said she liked Jim Brewer, I have to confess.
3:25
When you first said she liked Jim Brewer, I laughed a little.
3:27
I don't know who that is.
3:29
Oh, you don't?
3:30
Okay.
3:31
And then you said Goat Boy.
3:32
And now I'm really, I'm interested.
3:33
I'm intrigued.
3:34
But I still remain ignorant.
3:36
He was on SNL in the 90s.
3:38
uh he was very it was a very like 90s heyday kind of comedian um he's got very like big
3:48
hooded eyes kind of does he is he is he does he have a beard i don't think so this is taking me
3:56
back to that one episode where we played 20 questions is his hair brown does he make people
4:02
laugh apparently uh anyway well welcome to very fine friends a podcast where friends talk about
4:12
stuff uh i hate the question who's your favorite comedian from like someone you know is not
4:19
really into comedy because it's like i don't know what to tell you man well i wouldn't even
4:24
know how to answer that question because sometimes i watch things that i found funny 10 years ago i'm
4:28
I'm like, nah, dumb.
4:31
You know, things change, things evolve.
4:33
Yeah, I know.
4:35
I'm not going to pimp someone when tomorrow they can say something I don't like.
4:39
They can be on the news and be like, Francis sucks.
4:42
And I'll be like, I was just saying you were my favorite.
4:46
I got you tattooed.
4:49
Not that you have a tattoo of that person on you.
4:52
You just arranged for them to have a tattoo.
4:55
Yeah, that's my job.
4:56
I got you tattooed.
4:57
Tattoo concierge.
4:58
that tutu you have that tutu you have tutu tutu that's because of me me me
5:05
yeah quick interruption every week on the podcast we do something where our producer joe
5:15
gives francis and i each our own secret word throughout the course of the podcast we need to
5:23
find a way to slip the secret word into our conversation without the other person noticing
5:28
If the other person can correctly guess the secret word, they get a point.
5:33
And right before we die, we add up all the points.
5:38
And then we get a prize, whoever has the most points, for guessing the most secret words.
5:44
Here's Joe with today's secret words.
5:47
Jenna's secret word is outstanding.
5:50
Jenna's decoy word is based.
5:54
Francis's secret word is addled.
5:57
Francis' decoy word is seg.
6:01
Back to the pod.
6:03
Tattoo concierge is a good job.
6:05
Is it a job at all?
6:07
No.
6:08
Okay.
6:09
It would be a concept a good job.
6:10
In concept it's a good job.
6:11
In fact, some might even say you just invented a new job.
6:16
Are we segwaying?
6:18
Are we doing this?
6:18
I think we may be.
6:19
Holy shit.
6:21
It's time for the invention of the week.
6:24
inventions.
6:30
Well,
6:33
Jubes, I'm going to give you a choice.
6:34
Okay.
6:37
Do you want an invention for women?
6:40
Or do you want an invention
6:41
relating to food?
6:46
Ooh.
6:48
I want them both.
6:50
Can we do...
6:51
We'll do women.
6:52
Okay.
6:52
But earmark the food one.
6:54
okay i want to see what you're fixing can i make the decision for her as a man
6:57
no i want it because i want to take her right away i want to hear what yeah that's what i'm asking
7:03
problem i want to hear what problem francis thinks women has and how he can solve it oh it's you're
7:10
gonna love this okay great we're off to a good start you know how there's predators i do know
7:17
that you know how it's men uh i do know that sometimes yeah when it comes to women do you
7:23
You know how women just want to live in peace and not be harangued?
7:28
I do know that.
7:29
Yeah.
7:30
Well, whoa.
7:34
I think I did something huge this week.
7:37
Whoa.
7:38
Yeah, humongous.
7:41
Are you ready?
7:43
Yeah.
7:43
Okay, well, here it is.
7:45
This invention, if I could just say, women around the world, you're welcome.
7:51
you're gonna love this so much thank you so meek here's the invention
7:59
picture this okay you need a little exercise it's it's your time of day sun is kind of going down
8:09
but this is the only time you can get to it you're gonna go for a little a little j-o-g okay
8:14
J-O-O-B going on a J-O-G.
8:17
Yeah, that's it.
8:18
A little jube jog.
8:21
Yeah.
8:22
Okay.
8:23
So you're getting ready.
8:24
You're all excited.
8:25
You're fit and sexy and you're going to remain so.
8:27
That's the point of the jog.
8:30
Well.
8:31
Spandex.
8:31
Yeah, you're out jogging.
8:32
So you start.
8:32
You have a little warm up.
8:33
You start to go.
8:34
Feeling good.
8:35
Yeah.
8:36
The ponytail that you've never once had is swaying in the breeze.
8:38
all of a sudden
8:41
a man lunges out of the darkness
8:44
and attacks
8:45
oh no
8:47
or does he
8:50
entering my invention
8:51
now this invention can be worn
8:54
on a hat
8:55
or it could be like a
8:57
I'm saying it's like a vest
8:59
but it's just like straps that you put on
9:01
like a vest that you clip on
9:03
like laterhosen
9:04
yeah
9:05
it's a crossbody
9:08
Sure.
9:09
Like a...
9:10
It's nothing that's already been invented with my new invention.
9:13
Okay.
9:13
On the front and the back is a little radar system that tells you if someone is approaching.
9:23
So you can listen to your AirPods.
9:26
You can have a nice little jog.
9:28
And if any object is coming toward you, it tells you and like buzzes in the direction of when it's coming.
9:34
So it gives you a chance to turn around and blow their head off.
9:37
So he's just running with a gun.
9:39
La la la, la la la, gun in hand.
9:43
And then the radar system goes off and you just like spin and shoot.
9:47
And then it's like, oh no, that was little Timmy from next door.
9:51
Whoops.
9:51
So let's earmark spin and shoot as a potential name.
9:54
But you don't have to kill him, but it tells you, hey, you need to watch out.
9:58
Because a problem that a lot of women have right now is that they don't feel comfortable.
10:01
Like, first of all, being out and about in the dark.
10:05
Yeah.
10:06
Especially if they want to listen to music.
10:07
Sometimes I feel like they can't, but they have to have one off because I need to listen to their surroundings.
10:11
This problem is now being solved by me.
10:16
That, I mean, it is true.
10:17
What's funny is I used to listen with headphones all the time when I was in New York.
10:21
But then when I moved to L.A., downtown L.A., like that felt way more dangerous.
10:25
And I never walked around without with headphones in.
10:28
Now, what if you had the device?
10:31
Um, maybe let's talk more about it.
10:35
You know what inspired this?
10:36
you lunched at a woman
10:38
and you successfully caught her.
10:41
She didn't get away. Yeah, and I thought, man, I wish she'd had a chance.
10:43
No, um. She never saw me
10:45
coming. As I'm like burying her in the woods.
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Only she'd had a chance.
10:50
Oh, my empathy.
10:52
Anyway, no.
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You feel too much.
10:55
I'm hugging her. Why did you let me do
10:57
this? I was
10:59
rooting for you!
11:00
no what inspired this was um you ever seen the hit film men in black yes when that hit film came out
11:16
after they had merch and one of the merches was sunglasses with a mirror so you could see behind
11:24
you. And I always thought that was the coolest thing ever. So I took that and I turned it
11:29
into a modern day anti-attack device. Yeah. Yeah. How sensitive is the approaching proximity
11:39
sensor thing? Well, it won't tell you about a bird. I'll tell you that. It's specifically
11:45
if something is approaching and getting too close. You know, like when you back your car
11:49
but it's like beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
11:54
Similar to that.
11:55
But how close would a predator have to be to?
12:02
10 feet.
12:05
Is that enough time to react?
12:07
Yeah, because once you get the alert, guess what you're doing?
12:09
Speeding up.
12:11
And then turning to look and make sure what's going on.
12:13
Once you see that man there, you'll be emailing our company and being like,
12:16
thank you.
12:18
Thank you, sirs and ma'ams.
12:20
What about if it's just like a regular jogger
12:23
that's behind you and it's just faster than you?
12:25
Well, then you turn and you see it.
12:26
Or like a little kid on a bike.
12:30
This detection system is just to give you a fighting chance.
12:33
Once it goes off, you turn and you see it's Timmy on a bike,
12:36
you're fine.
12:37
You turn and you see a man approaching with malice in his eyes,
12:40
not fine.
12:41
But what are Timmy's intentions, we have to ask?
12:44
Do we trust Timmy?
12:46
I can't answer those questions.
12:49
I'm not a philosopher.
12:51
I am an inventor.
12:53
Wouldn't you want your mother to have this?
12:56
Your aunt?
12:59
I guess I'm just thinking it's either going to be going off all the time for stuff that's not predator,
13:04
and then you're just going to either start disregarding it because you're getting lots of false alarms,
13:09
or you're going to be so wound up constantly thinking you're about to be attacked
13:13
that it's going to be the most stressful thing in the whole world.
13:18
What about this?
13:20
Okay.
13:20
What about you wear the system,
13:22
and then the system basically in the back is a camera,
13:25
and then you have sunglasses on,
13:29
or regular glasses if you're jogging at night,
13:31
and it shows you a little backward view.
13:36
If something's coming up, it pops up on the screen,
13:38
and you see it for a second, and then you can wave it off.
13:40
or, you know, like you could do a hand motion and it goes back to regular if it's nothing.
13:45
I like that better.
13:47
That works better, I think.
13:51
Just kind of a rear view camera.
13:53
Yeah.
13:54
Yeah, so you can't be snuck up on.
13:57
Yeah.
13:57
But then I would say that this isn't just for women.
14:00
I think men would use this too.
14:03
You think?
14:04
I think this sounds to me like something as if a kid, as a kid, if I had heard of this,
14:09
I would have wanted one to just be like,
14:13
oh no, I'm not looking at you.
14:16
Look, my back is totally to you.
14:17
And then you're like, haha, I've got my...
14:20
I think predators would use this too.
14:22
I feel like women are going to use it to avoid men
14:25
and men are going to use it to look at women.
14:27
Well, okay.
14:29
Look, but don't touch.
14:31
Slogan.
14:33
Predators, we've been over this.
14:35
I know.
14:35
And we know you're listening.
14:37
We've talked to you before on pod.
14:39
Yeah.
14:39
Just stop.
14:40
How's that app working out?
14:41
You weren't supposed to use it.
14:42
Mm-hmm.
14:43
Gotcha.
14:44
Yep.
14:44
Oh, I hope you said I don't know.
14:46
I've never used it.
14:48
Be honest, Predators.
14:49
Yeah.
14:50
For once in your lives.
14:51
Seriously.
14:53
Get your act together, Predators.
14:56
Yeah, or go to jail.
14:57
Yeah.
14:58
You pieces of shit.
14:59
Just go to jail and be like, I'm a Predator.
15:01
Yeah.
15:03
Be like, let me in.
15:04
Let me in.
15:05
Yeah.
15:06
I want in.
15:07
God.
15:08
And the guards will be like, okay.
15:09
They have to.
15:10
Legally, if you go to a jail and say, let me in, they have to let you in.
15:15
I thought everyone knew that.
15:16
And they have to give you a nice roommate.
15:19
Yep.
15:20
Because you know predators will get attacked You know that where they going to need our product in prison Oh yeah In the showers Oh yeah If you know what I mean Because of sex
15:31
Do you know how fast I would take a shower in prison?
15:34
I'd be like in and out.
15:36
I see what you're saying.
15:41
I heard you meant like as soon as you got in.
15:43
The second I get in prison, I'm getting into the bathroom, baby.
15:46
That's a weird, weird thing to want.
15:49
Okay.
15:49
Yeah, no, you, but we're clear.
15:50
We see the local prison.
15:52
Francis is like, let me in, let me in.
15:54
And they have to.
15:55
Yeah.
15:56
You're there, just a towel around your waist.
15:59
I have soap to drop.
16:03
From zero to shower, real fast.
16:07
Okay.
16:08
I think the glasses thing is better than the radar, like, sound alert.
16:14
I think that would freak people out.
16:16
I just think it would work.
16:22
Then, oh, I'm also imagining,
16:24
how distracting would it be to have,
16:26
wouldn't you always be kind of looking at the,
16:29
I'm imagining ladies running and then falling into a fountain
16:33
because they're not paying attention to what's behind them.
16:36
No, it's like a heads-up display.
16:37
So in your glasses, just in a corner of your vision,
16:40
it'll pop up with the rear view.
16:42
And then you have the chance to get rid of it.
16:46
quick swipe if it's nothing.
16:48
But you can still see everything.
16:51
Okay.
16:52
It's like a picture in picture window.
16:54
PNP.
16:56
Well, yeah.
16:58
Does something like this already exist?
17:00
No.
17:01
No, if it does not.
17:05
Absolutely not.
17:06
Yeah, let's check samsclub.com.
17:08
I don't think so. This feels
17:10
fresh.
17:10
Okay.
17:12
What would you like to call
17:14
your glasses. Oof, I don't
17:16
really know. Maybe like
17:18
safe-see
17:21
or like
17:22
I don't know. Joe?
17:31
The no contact lens.
17:33
No contact.
17:34
No touching. Yeah, no contact
17:37
lens.
17:40
She spy.
17:43
She spy?
17:44
Yeah.
17:47
She spies seashells by the seashore.
17:55
EHP.
17:56
Empty-handed predator.
18:08
Empty-handed predator.
18:10
The juvie jogger for branded merch.
18:12
Oh, great.
18:13
Yeah, yeah, that's good.
18:14
Chubby jogger.
18:19
Okay.
18:21
Are there any other...
18:23
I feel like there's something I'm missing about this.
18:26
You mean like a flaw?
18:27
Yeah, like a flaw.
18:29
No.
18:29
No, that's weird.
18:30
Once I pivoted, I thought it completely through.
18:33
I mean, I did see the wheels churning.
18:37
Yeah.
18:39
Okay.
18:40
I guess perfect product.
18:43
Wow, you guys.
18:44
I know, outstanding work.
18:45
A lot of people are going to buy these.
18:47
Especially in downtown LA.
18:49
Yeah.
18:50
Oh, well, I mean, for sure.
18:52
And a lot of people will abandon them and then the homeless in downtown LA will have them instead.
18:57
I wonder if we could partner with Jim Brewer.
19:00
Ooh.
19:01
So his promoters could talk about his tickets and also.
19:04
Goat Boy and the Juby Joggers.
19:06
Yeah.
19:07
Ooh.
19:07
Match made in heaven.
19:09
Oh, nice.
19:11
Very good.
19:12
all right well nice work i think that wraps up the invention of the week
19:19
all right it's time for our next segment our next seg
19:26
everlasting bob stopper hey there everybody my name's bob i sure hope nobody stops me
19:42
shall i just explain everlasting i would love that hello audience the way that
19:49
everlasting bob stopper works that's right bob stopper is that one of us will be bob
19:57
a regular guy just going about his life but little does he know
20:02
everyone around him is out to get him and they will go to extreme lengths to ruin his day and
20:11
stop him from doing what he's trying to do.
20:14
That's it.
20:15
Okay. Jenna, would you like
20:17
to be Bob or would you like to stop Bob?
20:20
Um,
20:21
I think I'd like to be Bob.
20:23
Okay.
20:26
Here we go.
20:30
Ooh.
20:31
Just gonna head to my favorite cafe
20:33
to get my favorite
20:35
sandwich.
20:37
Hello there. We don't open for two minutes.
20:40
Oh, no problem.
20:41
I will wait. The sandwich is worth the wait.
20:44
Two metric minutes.
20:46
What's a metric minute?
20:47
It's longer.
20:49
Okay, well.
20:51
Sorry, you may be trying another cafe.
20:52
No, I got time on my hands. I'll just wait.
20:55
Okay.
20:57
I'm really sick.
21:00
Two metric minutes later.
21:03
Okay, come in, Bob.
21:05
Well, it did feel a lot longer.
21:07
That's good. What do you want? Can I get you?
21:08
I will have
21:10
the number...
21:13
Let me ask you a quick question.
21:16
Do you baste the turkey in-house
21:18
for the turkey sandwich?
21:20
I'm sorry, I'm having really trouble understanding your thick accent.
21:24
Do you baste the turkey
21:27
in-house for the turkey sandwich?
21:32
Yes, I would say the face of the jerky
21:34
is in a blouse.
21:35
Oh, come on. I was real clear there.
21:39
Okay.
21:40
I don't know.
21:40
I'm going to write this down for you.
21:43
You do know how to read, right?
21:44
I'm going to write this down.
21:44
Yeah, go ahead and write it down.
21:46
Do you baste the turkey in hell?
21:50
All right, here it is.
21:51
I got my big whiteboard with me.
21:52
Luckily, I brought that with me today.
21:53
Let's see.
21:55
Oh, we just got rid of the last turkey.
21:58
Sorry, Bob.
21:59
You got a lot of turkey falling out of your mouth right now.
22:02
Well, you took a long time to write that down.
22:03
I feel like I was fairly quick.
22:06
I had all these words pre-written out.
22:10
I just slapped it on there like magnets.
22:14
That was so fast.
22:15
Hey, Bob, shut up.
22:16
Since this is the only thing we sell, you should probably go.
22:21
We're closed.
22:22
We're closed.
22:23
We're closed.
22:24
All right, fine.
22:25
I'm going to go take a walk in the park.
22:28
Great, see you tomorrow.
22:29
Maybe play some chess.
22:30
Whatever.
22:32
Bob, is that you?
22:35
Yeah.
22:35
Bob, sit down, Bob.
22:37
Oh, so great.
22:39
I missed you, yes.
22:40
It's great to see an old friend.
22:42
How are you, Gerard?
22:44
I was fine until you called me old.
22:46
I just...
22:47
I'm kidding.
22:48
I'm rising here.
22:50
I'm rising here.
22:50
Oh, Gerard.
22:51
So nice to see your friendly face.
22:53
I've had kind of a weird day.
22:55
Sit down.
22:56
Let's play chess.
22:56
Talk about it.
22:57
Hey, I like you.
22:59
Okay.
22:59
Oh, thank you so much.
23:01
Oh, well.
23:03
Night.
23:04
No Gerard
23:06
What's going on? I don't feel good
23:09
No Gerard
23:09
No no no no
23:11
Not your heart
23:13
Oh my god what's going on with Gerard
23:15
Dad
23:16
Oh Gerard Junior no
23:19
Don't look at your dad like this
23:20
You were the last person who was with him
23:21
What'd you do
23:22
Nothing I just went night to be four
23:25
Father
23:26
Gerard Junior no
23:28
The Dodgers had at least two months left
23:30
What did you do
23:31
Oh, God, I'm so sorry, Gerard Jr.
23:34
I did nothing.
23:35
We were just playing a friendly game of chess.
23:37
He pooped.
23:38
He's dead.
23:40
I'm sorry.
23:41
I'm sorry.
23:42
I think that's just something that the body does when it's dying.
23:49
I'm so sorry, Gerard Jr.
23:51
He did it next to you, everyone.
23:53
I know.
23:54
It's kind of all over me.
23:56
I can't believe it.
23:58
Get out of this park.
23:59
Okay.
24:00
You son of a bitch.
24:01
All right.
24:02
I'm just going to go sit in a quiet movie theater.
24:04
Nothing bad can happen in a quiet movie theater.
24:08
Hey.
24:09
What?
24:09
There's one open chair next to me.
24:11
Oh, this is a really packed movie theater.
24:13
Oh, I know.
24:14
Everyone really wants to see it.
24:15
It's Transformers 9.
24:17
Sit down.
24:18
Okay.
24:19
Oh, thank you so much.
24:22
You don't mind moving your popcorn?
24:24
No.
24:24
For me to sit down.
24:24
You can actually have some of my popcorn if you want.
24:26
Oh, God.
24:27
Thank you.
24:27
I've been having such a day.
24:29
Yeah, reach in there.
24:29
Reach in there all the way to the bottom.
24:31
Oh, thank you.
24:33
Oh.
24:34
Oh.
24:34
Ooh.
24:35
Do you...
24:36
Oh.
24:36
Do you sprinkle gummy worms inside your popcorn?
24:39
Yeah, yeah, I did.
24:41
Do you like...
24:41
Do you like gummy worms?
24:43
Oh, it's...
24:44
I'm trying to...
24:46
Well, I don't know if I've ever had one.
24:47
I'm going to try to get it out.
24:48
They're hard to get out.
24:50
Yeah.
24:50
Oh, I'm just...
24:51
I'm tugging and I'm tugging.
24:53
It seems stuck to the bottom there.
24:56
Oh.
24:57
Oops.
24:58
Did you ask for extra butter?
25:00
What's...
25:00
Oh. Oh.
25:05
Oh, you're not a kindly stranger.
25:07
And you're not my wife.
25:10
No, I'm not your wife.
25:11
Get out of here. I'm not horny anymore.
25:14
I got what I wanted. Stop looking at me.
25:17
Come on.
25:18
These aren't other people. These are mannequins, by the way.
25:21
No.
25:22
I had to make sure I was going to get you.
25:24
Oh, in the dark. They all look like real people.
25:26
Yeah, I told you. I can't look at you anymore.
25:28
This was an elaborate plot.
25:29
that would anyone have done or did it have to be me?
25:33
It always had to be you,
25:35
Bob.
25:35
No,
25:36
that's right.
25:36
Get out of here and wash your hands.
25:38
Oh God.
25:39
Oh,
25:40
you know what?
25:41
I'm just going to go down.
25:43
I'm going to go down to my local gym and,
25:46
and work this,
25:48
work this out.
25:49
I,
25:50
I feel,
25:50
Oh,
25:50
what a day.
25:51
What a terrible day.
25:55
Oh yeah.
25:55
Lifting weights.
25:56
Now one and two.
25:58
Hey,
25:58
You don't mind if I three and spot you?
26:00
Do it four.
26:01
Oh, no, please.
26:02
Oh, I went up in wait, so I feel like I need a spotter.
26:06
Yeah, I saw that.
26:12
Wow.
26:13
I did it.
26:14
You really did.
26:15
New PR.
26:16
Wow, new goal.
26:17
Amazing.
26:18
Yeah.
26:19
Thank you for your help.
26:21
Man, this has been just quite possibly one of the worst days.
26:28
Is it? Has it really been one of the worst days?
26:30
Yeah, it really has.
26:31
Oh, I hate to hear that for you.
26:33
Thank you.
26:34
I hate to hear that for you.
26:37
Bob, by the way.
26:38
Oh, I know.
26:39
What?
26:40
Oh, I know.
26:41
This isn't a normal gym, Bob.
26:44
What do you mean?
26:45
Let me go ahead and take this partition down.
26:48
Ha ha
26:49
You're at the gym at the old folk center
26:51
No
26:52
These weights are on babysitting
26:54
Ha ha
26:55
You weren't breaking a sweat
26:57
Oh no
26:58
Oh my god
26:59
By the way your hands smell weird
27:01
Yeah sorry about that
27:02
Ha ha
27:03
Don't go to the movies
27:04
You're not fit
27:06
Oh man
27:07
I thought these were real weights
27:08
It's just little
27:09
Hey old people come out and look
27:12
You're better than Bob
27:14
Ah he's so weak
27:17
see she never that's the first time she ever talked oh my god yeah this is humiliating i know
27:24
that was difficult for me i know it was you know why placebo everyone sing the song we practiced
27:30
bob sucks bob is the worst weak muscles bob
27:39
Good job, guys.
27:42
Good job.
27:43
That song really
27:45
twisted a knife into my heart.
27:49
Good.
27:49
Although I did appreciate the harmonies.
27:51
Yeah, well, those weren't for you.
27:53
Those were for us.
27:54
Too bad.
27:55
You can't stop me from appreciating harmonies.
27:57
Okay.
27:58
You can't take that from me.
27:59
You're trespassing now.
28:00
Yeah.
28:01
You've been notified.
28:02
Now you have to leave.
28:03
I'm going home to my beautiful wife
28:06
and my kids.
28:09
That'll make me feel better.
28:10
That always makes me feel better.
28:12
The end of a hard day.
28:13
I don't care.
28:17
Hun, what's wrong, babe?
28:20
Sugar, you would not believe the day that I've had.
28:23
What's wrong?
28:23
You look verklempt.
28:24
You look brain-addled.
28:26
What's going on?
28:27
I couldn't get a basted turkey sandwich.
28:32
And then Gerard shat on me and died.
28:36
Gerard?
28:36
And then there was a whole disgusting gummy worm thing that I won't tell you too much about.
28:44
I'm sure if I needed to know, you'd tell me.
28:46
I accidentally jacked a guy off.
28:47
Anyway, I'm sorry.
28:52
That's okay.
28:52
When I took my vows, I meant them.
28:55
And that was an accident.
28:56
I was tricked into it.
28:57
It was not on purpose, honey.
28:59
I just want you to know that.
29:00
And then I thought, hey, I'm going to go lift a bunch of weights and feel better about myself.
29:07
And then it turns out it was baby weights that even really old people could do.
29:12
Old people baby weights?
29:13
Old people baby weights.
29:14
And they all laughed.
29:15
And they sang a pretty great song, actually, about how much I sucked.
29:20
Someone wrote a song about you, Bob?
29:22
Yeah, it was, I mean, on the one hand, do I appreciate the gesture that they put in the time?
29:27
But on the other hand, I don't know, it was humiliating to hear a chorus of old people singing Bob sucks.
29:37
That's not bad.
29:38
That's not bad.
29:39
Yeah, it was kind of catchy.
29:40
Hey, I'm just curious.
29:41
When are you going to ask who this gentleman is here that's next to me?
29:45
Oh, I didn't even.
29:48
Sorry, I didn't even probably just so happy to see you.
29:50
Just I'm assuming it must be some kind of traveling salesman of some kind.
29:56
We do need a new vacuum cleaner.
29:57
That would be really helpful.
29:59
Hi, I'm Bob.
30:00
Nice to meet you.
30:02
Hi, Bob.
30:04
I'm your wife's new husband.
30:06
Wait, what?
30:07
We found a legal loophole.
30:10
If old people sing a song about you that's humiliating but also contains a fun harmony,
30:15
the marriage is void.
30:17
What?
30:18
And his kids are his now, too.
30:20
No.
30:20
It's true.
30:21
I legally adopted them just before you came in.
30:24
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
30:27
This kid, no, no, no.
30:27
This has got to be some kind of a prank.
30:30
A man's home is his castle.
30:33
You can't take that from him.
30:36
Your kids are already calling me dad.
30:39
Oh, no.
30:42
God, this feels so familiar.
30:45
It's okay.
30:46
It going to be okay Oh this is Is there no place that safe from the torture that has become my life Yeah
30:57
Wait, does that mean yes, no place is safe or yes, there is a safe place?
31:02
No, there is a safe place.
31:02
Oh, please tell me where it is.
31:05
Sugar, can I call you Sugar anymore?
31:06
No, no, no, no.
31:08
Regina.
31:08
I can call her Sugar now.
31:09
Yeah.
31:10
What's your name?
31:12
New Bob.
31:15
Yeah.
31:15
Yeah, that works.
31:16
New Bob, of course.
31:18
If you say it faster, it sounds more like a real name.
31:20
New Bob.
31:21
New Bob.
31:22
Oh, I love you.
31:24
You're safe to go to your parents' house.
31:28
Oh, okay.
31:30
That's right.
31:31
Mom and dad.
31:32
Yep.
31:34
I gotta go there.
31:35
I need some kind of comfort.
31:36
I agree.
31:37
Please leave.
31:42
Mom?
31:43
Honey.
31:44
Oh, my God, I haven't seen you in so long.
31:46
I know.
31:47
I'm real sorry about that.
31:48
Oh, it's okay.
31:49
I know that you have a good reason.
31:50
Get in here.
31:51
Hey, thank you.
31:52
Oh, God, thank you so much.
31:54
Hey, you're my baby boy.
31:56
My baby boy, Bob.
31:58
Oh, thank you.
32:00
Thank you.
32:00
I just, oh, this feels nice.
32:02
Bob baby.
32:04
Yeah.
32:04
Oh.
32:05
Mr. Bob.
32:07
Yeah.
32:08
Anyway, I see that you have no wedding ring on.
32:11
Come in.
32:12
Oh, you noticed that right away?
32:14
You took it off, huh?
32:15
Yeah, it took a long time
32:17
My fingers are a little bit bigger now
32:20
That's okay
32:20
When I got married
32:21
Hey, you're my big baby Bob
32:23
Big Bob baby
32:24
Thanks, Mom
32:25
No!
32:28
What's happening to me?
32:29
No, Mom!
32:30
Not you too!
32:31
My wife!
32:32
What happened to my wife?
32:34
She's shitting!
32:35
In front of you!
32:37
Dad, I'm sorry!
32:39
Get out!
32:42
No!
32:46
Fuck you!
32:53
Well, it sounds like Bob has been stopped.
33:00
That's just one day.
33:02
Oh, poor Bob.
33:03
Well, that wraps up.
33:06
Turkey sandwich.
33:09
Everlasting Bobstopper.
33:12
oh no how long is all this stopping gonna last
33:17
wow poor bob fun segment yeah not for bob no no no but for the rest of the world they enjoyed it
33:27
yeah nemeses he had multiple nemesis arch nemesis yeah the latin
33:36
okay well i think it's time for one final segment that is the big question
33:56
the question is very big how big is it
34:03
do we have a big question well this happens every week and i always go uh francis i hope
34:11
you have a big question for me you said before that you didn't right well we're seeing behind
34:16
the curtain audience oh yes the big you you doubt that i could come up with a big question no you do
34:21
every week yeah don't don't worry i'm not worried absolutely don't worry is that what you're vamping
34:28
right now. No, I'm not
34:30
vamping. No, he's not
34:31
vamping. Not at all. Here's
34:33
the big question. Okay.
34:36
The big question is
34:38
I don't have one.
34:43
And I'm thinking really hard.
34:47
How hard are you thinking?
34:50
Do you have a question for Chance?
34:55
Um.
34:58
Joe, do you have a question for a chance?
35:00
I mean, I think we've talked about the soft pod before.
35:02
We can talk about the Chuck Klosterman question about like paying incremental sums of money to be like X percent more attractive.
35:14
Do you remember that one?
35:17
Oh, yes, that's right.
35:22
I do remember that.
35:22
You want to set it up?
35:23
Yeah.
35:24
So the question is you, no, I don't know.
35:34
Maybe I don't remember exactly how it goes.
35:37
Like someone offers you an opportunity and it's like a, it's kind of like a genie situation,
35:45
but it's just one thing that they're offering to do, which is they can make you more attractive,
35:50
but they can only do it one time and you pay whatever amount of money you want to pay.
35:57
But however much you put in is proportional to how much more attractive you become.
36:04
So the question is, do you accept this opportunity?
36:08
And if so, how much money are you paying this one time,
36:12
knowing that you can only do this one time to make yourself X percent more attractive?
36:17
And more money means more attractive.
36:18
but you don't know like the scale the scale of you don't know the scale well yeah you don't so
36:25
you don't know how you don't know how much more attractive you would get if you put in 200 versus
36:30
100 so it could theoretically make all the difference in the world and you'd be way hotter
36:34
or it could be like your nose is just like slightly smoother or something and then you
36:41
just paid 100 but you only you only get to try it once so what do you commit to doing hoping that
36:47
it's enough but you because i mean it could be something as like a dollar gets you next to
36:54
nothing maybe like you grow one extra hair on your head or something like that or you lose 10 pounds
37:01
or you lose it but you don't know oh because it could be like what if ten thousand dollars is the
37:10
only like would be like a minimum of that's now you start really looking so like but then what if
37:14
$10,000 is so ridiculously much that it's like you,
37:20
you go like crazy to attractive.
37:22
Yeah.
37:24
So it's basically a question that's attractive.
37:26
Well,
37:26
okay.
37:27
So I was thinking about this the other day.
37:29
I remember being a kid,
37:30
like when I was young and thinking like if you like,
37:34
we're like genie wishes to the listeners at home.
37:40
Francis did a slow blink head nod when I said genie wishes.
37:44
yeah oh like oh yeah oh yeah because you want to think like you want to be able to like properly
37:50
get your wish right and i was thinking i remember being a kid thinking like well maybe a wish could
37:55
be you you no matter who sees you you are the most attractive person to that person so like
38:03
everybody finds you the most attractive person on earth perfect wish no but then i think to go back
38:09
to your to go back to your invention from this week i like if you're a lady 100 you're you're
38:21
gonna get r-worded at some point uh because somebody and then like that's too much if you're
38:28
listening and we know you are yeah that's that's too much like what if you could turn it off
38:35
whenever you wanted though.
38:39
Just like...
38:40
You know when like
38:41
the Midas touch,
38:42
everything you touch is gold?
38:43
Yeah.
38:44
What if you didn't want it?
38:45
You could just like
38:45
reach out and like
38:47
touch the person
38:47
with intent
38:48
like on the shoulder
38:49
and then you'd be ugly to them?
38:51
Or it's just like
38:51
the one ring.
38:53
Like you can like
38:53
take it on or off
38:54
at any point.
38:55
But wouldn't that be like
38:55
jarring to people that
38:57
like because what if you want
38:58
to just like run to the grocery store
39:00
and so you have it off
39:00
but then it's like
39:01
somebody that knows you
39:03
but you...
39:04
Yeah.
39:04
That would be like
39:05
very jarring for the rest of society yeah like does it ruin it does it ruin it for them if they're
39:09
like well even if you put the ring back on it's like well i've seen you and you're less attractive
39:14
so okay so how about this this is a new big question
39:19
what is your dream genie wish you you get three genie wishes i get three you get three i'm gonna
39:32
to give you three. That's standard.
39:35
Standard. Yeah, that's standard
39:36
genie. American standard genie wish.
39:38
Yeah.
39:40
That's like day one of genie
39:42
contract law school. Yeah.
39:45
Obvs.
39:46
Obvs.
39:50
So, okay.
39:52
Do I have any limits?
39:54
The standard limits? Which is you can't wish for
39:56
more wishes? Yeah, you can't wish for more wishes.
39:58
Anything else?
40:00
No, I think that's it.
40:02
You just get three and we're going to,
40:05
um,
40:06
we're going to do this,
40:07
uh,
40:09
like needful things style.
40:11
You praise your wish.
40:12
And then I'm going to see if I can somehow ruin it.
40:16
Like the devil would.
40:17
What style?
40:18
Needful things.
40:19
Okay.
40:20
I think that was,
40:20
it was a Stephen King book or short story or something where it's like the
40:24
devil has,
40:25
there was a Rick and Morty episode about it too.
40:27
Oh yeah.
40:27
Yeah.
40:28
Yeah.
40:28
Yeah.
40:28
Where the devil has the,
40:29
like the shop that.
40:30
I remember.
40:34
Here's wish one.
40:36
Okay.
40:37
Here it comes.
40:38
And here it is.
40:40
Wish one is mind control.
40:46
That I could control other people's actions.
40:52
At will?
40:54
You need to phrase this.
40:55
Yeah.
40:56
You need to phrase this properly.
40:57
At my discretion, I can influence anyone I want to do as I please.
41:07
You know, sometimes you pull up to a parking space and someone else gets it.
41:10
I could literally be like, hey, move your car.
41:14
And they'll just be like, okay.
41:15
And then boom, I got a parking space.
41:19
Okay.
41:20
Not bad.
41:20
Not bad.
41:21
that would become
41:24
real addictive real fast.
41:28
I think you just find yourself orchestrating
41:30
every situation.
41:32
That doesn't bother me.
41:33
That doesn't bother you at all?
41:34
I imagine I'm talking to someone having a great time
41:36
and all of a sudden I'm bored.
41:37
I could be like, you're done talking to me.
41:40
And they'd be like, bye.
41:40
I'd be like, God.
41:42
Do you mentally, do you say it out loud
41:44
and then they just have to like, do they feel it
41:47
or is it just like they feel like
41:49
something's taking over?
41:49
I like it both ways because like in Harry Potter world,
41:52
you can do like a spell with your wand or you can do like a nonverbal incantation.
41:56
I like having the option.
41:57
The imperious curse, right?
41:58
Is that that one?
42:00
Where you control somebody else?
42:03
Yes.
42:04
Yeah.
42:06
Okay.
42:07
But they feel it.
42:09
Like they feel like it's not just like suddenly they're like,
42:11
oh, you know what?
42:11
I don't want this parking space.
42:13
And then.
42:13
Yeah, so it's like that.
42:14
So they feel like it's their own free will.
42:17
Yeah.
42:17
But they don't know that it's not.
42:19
Right.
42:19
you've actually it might get to the point where like they could go home and like they could be
42:23
telling their spouse about their day and like something happened and they're like oh why did
42:26
you do that and they'd be like i don't know i just felt like it yeah i don't know why i did that
42:29
i'll tell you why bitch why did you had a desire why did you stick your hand in francis's popcorn
42:37
at the movies i don't know i don't know why you were my instrument oh that's a creepy way to say
42:46
that um uh okay okay wish to wish to um wish to is a debit account like a bank account that
43:02
always replenishes like no matter what i'm trying to buy i always have the money to buy it
43:07
yeah this feels like i mean wish one is kind of all encapsulating so well it's like mind control
43:14
I was like, hey, give me money.
43:16
Go to the ATM and put out some money.
43:18
I could get money, but also I don't want to have to worry about that every time.
43:21
I just want to go to lunch.
43:21
But at lunch I could literally be like, count my meal.
43:25
Well, yeah, exactly.
43:27
Yeah, the mind control one, sure it would be useful.
43:32
I almost said useless.
43:33
Sure it would be useful.
43:37
But it feels like it would very quickly,
43:41
I feel like it would be soul-sucking.
43:42
like if you know that like everything that's happening that's good everything that you want
43:47
in life that you get is like not because other people i feel like people would also like start to
43:53
seem like lesser beings to you at a certain yeah you'd have a god complex i am willing to live with
44:02
that okay well you don't think like but then if somebody like let's say you have you meet somebody
44:09
and you're like, I really like them.
44:12
And like, like friend or romantically.
44:17
And you're just like, I really like them.
44:18
I really like want to spend time with them.
44:19
And then they, they spend time with you
44:21
and it seems like you have a good rapport,
44:23
but you don't know if they're just spending time with you
44:25
because you're making them.
44:27
Well, I know because I wouldn't, I don't have to use it.
44:30
Like, I'm not going to go like hang out with our friend group
44:32
and like use my power of persuasion.
44:35
There'd be no point.
44:36
I would think at the certain point you'd start like mentally controlling people so much that
44:43
like even just the thought of being like oh I wish this person would stop talking and then they just
44:48
would you just think it and then you or like oh I wish this person would come over like if you're
44:53
just thinking it and then it happens and then so then you get to the point where you're delusional
44:57
and you're it's like spiraling out of control and you never know what you're really controlling
45:01
that could be a side effect you're right but you're willing to take that chance yep okay
45:05
All right.
45:07
Okay.
45:08
You want to go one for one?
45:09
You want to tell me yours?
45:11
Or do you want to hear three of mine?
45:13
I want to hear three of yours.
45:14
The debit card is important to me.
45:16
I feel like that's one of my wishes, too.
45:20
Basically, just...
45:22
I'm not looking for a vault of money.
45:23
I'm just looking to always be able to afford what I want to do.
45:27
Yes.
45:28
Yeah.
45:29
I would agree with that one, too.
45:30
So that's one of my wishes.
45:32
That's a great wish.
45:33
Thank you.
45:33
Yeah, really, really good at that.
45:35
We're good people.
45:37
Yep.
45:38
Except that I don't want to control everyone's waking.
45:41
Also, that's so nice, though, because you can get people out of your way.
45:43
You know, people are like, sir, and it's like, nope, you're gone.
45:47
I'm picturing people, like, flying.
45:48
Like, foosh, foosh.
45:51
My third wish is that Spider-Man is real so he could save those people I'm throwing around.
45:58
My third wish is that since I have everything else I want,
46:04
I would just say that I'm always in perfect health.
46:14
Like I always the picture of health you know Does that mean that you get to a point where you like never die no I would say you just you always feel good and you always healthy
46:26
you know what I mean so like you're not getting sick if like stuff's going around
46:30
like you don't get any disease or virus you're just like a healthy hearty person
46:35
like you're always in your prime so then how do you die
46:38
I use mind control to kill myself
46:43
time to go to heaven
46:45
touching my shoulders
46:46
come on god
46:48
cause you're god now
46:50
you know
46:51
that's a good
46:54
always feeling good
46:55
let me rephrase
46:57
until I die of natural causes
47:01
I want to be completely and totally healthy
47:05
that makes sense
47:06
I mean, death is part of the life cycle.
47:09
Yeah.
47:10
And like there can be a flower that's like looking wilty
47:13
and a flower that's like in perfect shape,
47:16
but they're both going to die eventually.
47:18
Yeah.
47:18
You know, I could even in the hospital,
47:20
I could just, I could find someone and be like,
47:23
overdose me.
47:24
I'm ready.
47:25
Use my mind control.
47:28
That's good.
47:28
Make someone a murderer.
47:30
I'll talk to him first.
47:31
Make sure I find someone I really find repugnant.
47:34
Okay.
47:35
Okay.
47:36
Um,
47:36
you can't find anyone.
47:38
So you're just like,
47:38
go be repugnant first and then come back.
47:43
Tell me you're repugnant.
47:45
I need to hear it.
47:48
I've written down a list of things that you're going to go tweet.
47:53
Burn the index card when you're done with it.
47:57
Um,
47:58
okay.
48:01
Yeah.
48:02
The health one.
48:03
That's a good one.
48:04
That's a good one.
48:06
Um, Jenna, you have two. Okay. I would want to,
48:22
uh, see, this is tough because it's like the, it's like the beautiful one. It's like,
48:28
you don't want to attract too much attention. Cause I would say something like,
48:32
I would like to like always be charming to whomever I encounter you know that feeling like you know
48:40
when you meet someone and you're like hey you know I like them like even if it's just like for a
48:43
second a stranger and you're like I'm not going to see them again yeah but you have good rapport
48:47
with people um I feel like if you were always charming you would get far in life and I still
48:56
want like i don't want to just like i mean i know the unlimited money thing is something that i have
49:02
said that i wanted so but i still want to be able to like work for things you know what i mean it's
49:09
totally overrated work for things that i want for things enough i think we have it in our heads
49:14
but i don't but like some of the the greatest like moments in my life have been when i found
49:22
out I got something that I worked really hard for right where it's just like ah like I did it and
49:27
like that moment of just like like that's such an amazing feeling and if so if you're just given
49:32
everything you never have that like you never have that moment yeah I think we can bank on the
49:39
memories of the times that you had that you know okay so starting now I just have to remember that
49:46
what that feeling was it was great and you felt it and you remember feeling it yay
49:51
so move on move on and take the things for free
49:55
well take the things for free but i still want to have goals that i might not achieve
50:00
unless you could do that okay that's that's what i mean like i still like i still do think the
50:05
money thing is is worthwhile um but yeah i i so maybe just being more charming in general like
50:13
that'll give me a leg up but then i then does much more charming could you be like uh like a lot
50:19
more i'm charmed well thank you i appreciate that but i think there's quite a few people in
50:24
this world that don't like me um i've encountered them in my life well when my powers turn on i'm
50:30
going to yeet them away from us oh maybe maybe i pivot maybe i do something like
50:39
i always know when someone's lying
50:42
but also no one knows when i'm like i don't know i i know see that's the thing is like
50:50
because then what do you do about it well yeah because here okay i thought about this quite a
50:55
bit i don't know why i didn't say it probably because i want the other stuff more but if someone
51:02
asked like a question wouldn't it be cool if you always knew the right answer no matter what the
51:07
question was you just like always knew the right thing or like knew how to make the right choice
51:12
Can you drink bleach? Yes. Great.
51:15
That's the right answer.
51:16
And it's diluted or complete form.
51:17
Francis in the back, no!
51:20
But you know, like, just to know.
51:24
Yeah.
51:25
But then, does that, all of that knowledge,
51:28
is it stored in your head or does it only come out when you're asked?
51:33
That would be a nice compromise.
51:34
Someone needs to ask the question and then you know.
51:38
So like you could maybe save a wish
51:40
on the infinite debit card by just being like forever jeopardy champion yeah but then you're
51:46
spending a lot of time at the jeopardy set yeah so many pictures studios you're there all the time
51:51
doesn't that sound cool though jenna asked me what the winning lottery numbers are
51:55
um i think yeah that would be a cool sub power i um i always thought it was crazy when people
52:06
were like i would want to read minds it's like i don't want to read minds that sounds terrible i
52:11
used to think that i switched to controlling them yeah that's better controlling is definitely better
52:15
than reading i don't want to know what people really are thinking about i did the same thing
52:20
with books recently i was tired of reading them so i started controlling them
52:24
that's why the books are doing your bidding oh i get it now
52:31
so
52:35
yeah i want uh i also thought about that in speaking of harry potter the
52:46
the the luck potion the felices yes that seemed like that would be kind of an amazing feeling
52:55
harry seemed like he was having a great time great old time just to be like extremely lucky
52:59
all the time just to like because i think about the times when it's like oh like like if i like
53:05
like grab something in a weird way and then i accidentally chip a nail or something like that
53:10
it's like that's a stupid little thing right and it's inconsequential but it's like oh if i just
53:14
hadn't grabbed that thing that way my nail would be fine right now or something like that but
53:20
he's being lucky but then does that take the mystery out i guess you you don't care about
53:26
that you don't want the mystery out of life you're you you you do want the mystery out yeah
53:30
get it out um i think i would rather have the by location thing that hermione has
53:36
in the third one oh the time turner yeah yeah why are you gonna do with it well there was a uh
53:43
there was a tv show we're done in the day there was a tv show productive well also too like if
53:49
you have like a really shitty experience somewhere and just be like all right well i'm i don't want
53:53
to like wait for, uh, yeah, like you can just turn back time and do something else. Oh, very good. Um,
54:02
there was a TV show in the nineties, I think it was early nineties where I forget out of this
54:09
world. Maybe there was this girl and she found out her dad was an alien and she used to have this
54:16
power where she put her fingers to the tips of her fingers together and time would stop. And so
54:21
like she would be like oh no I forgot to do my homework and then like put the tips and she just
54:25
like do it real quick and everybody else was stopped and then I always thought that would be
54:28
cool because then you could just I was always thinking you could just like sleep in constantly
54:32
in like the last possible second just kind of like get to where you're going there was the same
54:38
power in heroes one of the guys could do that with time that was pretty cool um yeah that would
54:45
be cool and he could travel in time like uh what am i thinking not time travel um
54:52
where you pop to different teleportation thank you teleportation yeah yeah out of this world
54:59
1987 a teenager starts to develop powers inherited from her alien father oh wow way to go jenna
55:05
remember that yeah you are you do i i uh i thought that was really cool as a kid mostly oh i would
55:12
also think it would be really cool to have the power to see your dreams like like no or yeah
55:21
see somebody else's but like be able to essentially like watch a movie of them yeah watch a movie of
55:28
them it's like a tv show on netflix yeah that would be awesome yeah that would be cool yeah i
55:34
would watch that every day if every night i got to just every day i got to watch my previous night's
55:39
dreams yeah that'd be pretty cool juby's dreams i dream of juby yes love it does she have light
55:49
brown hair is she a woman well uh i think we've got some solid solid wishes down so i promise not
55:59
to control you or Joe. I appreciate
56:01
that and I promise
56:02
that my
56:04
charm won't
56:07
be bad. I don't know.
56:10
See if I was more charming, that would have come out
56:11
better. And I promise that if I turn back
56:13
time on you guys, it'll only be
56:15
because I just want to do it over again
56:17
because it was so damn fun.
56:18
Aww.
56:20
Aww.
56:23
That wraps up
56:24
the big question.
56:27
The big question.
56:28
All right, Francis, you know what time it is.
56:30
I can tell by the look on your face.
56:32
Yeah, and I don't have it.
56:33
I don't have your words.
56:34
I don't think I have yours either.
56:36
I really needed it, too, because I'm so far behind.
56:40
All right.
56:41
Okay.
56:41
I don't know if you are behind.
56:42
I have to check the tallies.
56:43
After the last couple of wins you've had, you've been kicking me in the face.
56:47
Go to veryfinefriends.com to check out the point totals,
56:53
and we'll see who's in the lead.
56:55
It is possible that I am catching up to Francis.
56:57
I think you had a healthy enough lead, though.
56:59
It was healthy, but...
57:00
It's dwindling, for sure.
57:02
Well, maybe it will stop.
57:04
Okay.
57:05
Okay, let me just guess.
57:09
Okay.
57:10
Gummy.
57:12
No.
57:15
Jarring.
57:17
No.
57:20
Rapport.
57:21
No.
57:24
Pivot.
57:25
No.
57:28
Lucky.
57:30
No.
57:30
Why'd you look at your Nix card?
57:33
That's all the guesses I had.
57:36
Dang, I really thought I was going to get you to guess my decoy word.
57:38
Well, let's hear it.
57:39
Well, my regular word, my real word, was outstanding.
57:44
I don't like that.
57:47
I'm sorry.
57:48
I said outstanding job, Francis, or something like that.
57:52
Which actually was an outstanding job.
57:54
I meant it and I said it.
57:57
My.
57:58
You're being a real pick me girl with your decoy word.
58:01
Yeah, I know.
58:02
I really, really wanted to hear this.
58:05
My decoy word was.
58:06
Francis, can you guess what Jenna's decoy word was?
58:09
Yeah.
58:09
Do you have a guess for my decoy word?
58:11
She was being a real pick me.
58:13
She was real thirsty for you to get this one.
58:16
Oh, I said it multiple times.
58:18
No, I don't.
58:20
Nothing stood out.
58:21
There's going to be a bunch of dings, decoy dings in the listening back.
58:26
what was it
58:28
baste
58:29
did I say that at all it doesn't matter
58:32
you didn't know you were actually really good
58:34
that's why I thought you knew what it was because you
58:36
like were very particular about not saying
58:38
I said do you baste the turkey in
58:40
house like eight times yeah
58:41
oh that's funny no
58:43
ding oh you don't
58:46
need it I need it she was selling
58:48
baste out on the street for a nickel
58:49
yeah ace of baste
58:51
and you did not see the sign
58:54
well
58:56
listeners aren't you glad you stuck around for this
58:57
that was funny wordplay
58:58
well alright
59:02
I have some guesses for you but I don't
59:04
think
59:05
oh god
59:07
okay
59:09
is your word
59:12
repugnant
59:16
no
59:17
okay
59:18
that was my deco
59:20
I'm kidding
59:21
no
59:21
No.
59:23
Oh, no, you got me to say it.
59:27
Is your word predators?
59:31
No.
59:31
Okay.
59:33
Is your word philosopher?
59:35
No.
59:39
Is your word...
59:40
Okay, now I'm moving into decoy word guessing.
59:43
You're guessing decoys?
59:44
I'm going to guess two decoys now.
59:48
Is your decoy word Latin?
59:51
No.
59:52
Is your decoy word pooped?
59:57
No.
59:58
No?
59:59
Oh, no.
1:00:00
Those were all my guesses.
1:00:01
Okay, are you ready?
1:00:02
Yeah.
1:00:03
My word was addled.
1:00:05
Oh.
1:00:06
When did you say it?
1:00:08
Is it something about being brain addled?
1:00:09
Yeah.
1:00:10
That's the proper way to say that.
1:00:11
Yeah.
1:00:11
Yeah.
1:00:12
Thank you.
1:00:13
Yeah, good job.
1:00:14
And my decoy word was seg.
1:00:18
Oh.
1:00:18
Oh, is this it? Is this the seg? Is that, oh.
1:00:22
Yeah, yeah.
1:00:23
Wow.
1:00:24
To be fair to me, I had to give you a weird decoy word because you said out loud, what does this mean?
1:00:32
I know.
1:00:32
For a second.
1:00:33
So like that made it kind of difficult.
1:00:34
You got your word. You actually said, what does this mean? And then you're like, nevermind, I got it.
1:00:37
So like I had to give you a decoy word that could have been.
1:00:40
I was looking at all my words and then I was looking at all my words that I was going to guess.
1:00:46
And I was like, Francis knows what all these words mean.
1:00:48
wouldn't have said, what does that mean?
1:00:50
So you gave.
1:00:52
I threw you off a little bit.
1:00:54
Well, no traction
1:00:56
gained or lost this episode.
1:00:58
Oh, well. There's only one thing
1:01:00
left to do.
1:01:01
Wish the genie that I win this game.
1:01:04
Oh, sorry. The genie went home.
1:01:06
Oh, no. He only had a babysitter until
1:01:08
nine. Dang. Yeah.
1:01:10
Next time. Good father.
1:01:12
Little genie babies.
1:01:14
Yeah. No, I was just going to see
1:01:16
if either of you guys wanted
1:01:18
any of this popcorn over here.
1:01:20
Oh.
1:01:21
Oh, it feels like there's a sweet treat inside.
1:01:24
Gotcha!
1:01:24
No!
1:01:28
All right.
1:01:29
Bye, listeners.