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When A Narcissist's Lie Becomes Their Truth · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So do narcissists believe their own lies?
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  Do they believe the mess that comes out of their mouth, the
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  dribble, the insanity, the malarkey, the fantastical words
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  and stories that they make up? Do they actually believe that?
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  Or are they just pathological liars?
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  That's what we're talking about today, y'all.
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  I'm new here. My name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist myself.
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  Here to give you the perspective of a narcissist, y'all.
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  And yeah, first of all, let's go and get this all the way.
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  Very early on. I, as someone diagnosed with
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  NPD, narcissistic personality disorder, don't believe that
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  most you hear the word right there.
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  Most, MOST, most narcissist truly believe their own lies.
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  They know that it's a lie. They absolutely do this.
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  One of those things that's not up for debate.
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  Like if you tell me that the sky is blue and I certainly argue up
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  and down that that, that the damn sky is green or whatever, I
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  know that the sky is blue. I just want to mess with you.
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  So that's one thing that you have to ask yourself when you're
• 1:15
  dealing with a narcissistic person.
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  Does it matter whether or not they believe their own lies?
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  Does it because at the end of the day, you know it's a lie.
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  You do, you know that it's a you just know it's a gross
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  fabrication. It's gaslighting, it's
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  manipulated. It's red flaggy.
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  You know that it's a bold faced crazy ass lie that they just
• 1:43
  made-up to avoid accountability, to avoid whatever is going on,
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  right? I actually hear somebody tell me
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  today. I was doing a one-on-one over
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  Zoom earlier, mentalillness.net by the way, and I somebody said
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  earlier they asked that question like, do narcis believe their
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  own lies? I don't think they believe their
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  own lies because if they believed it, then they would no
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  longer be a lie. It will be their version of the
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  truth, right? There you go.
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  There you go. If they believe their own lies,
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  it would no longer be a lie. It would be the truth, so to
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  speak, right. So as you're dealing with these
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  narcissistic people, understand that a lot of them are going to
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  keep lying. They're going to keep making
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  stuff up because it works well. They why they if they don't
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  believe the lie, then why can they lie so convincingly?
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  Because it is fun. Yeah.
• 2:31
  Let let's let me put my narcissist hat on.
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  I'm a somebody need to make me a narcissist hat that I can put
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  on. I will send you my PO Box.
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  My, my box. Just send me an e-mail.
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  I need a narcissist hat. Like I didn't put my narcissist
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  hat on. I need a hat that says there's
• 2:47
  Lee's narcissist hat or or narc hat narcissist hat or something.
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  Something I could put on right? I got a big head so make it size
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  8 fitted cap. No but seriously, if I would put
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  my narc hat on and I would just like what?
• 3:00
  Why the hell am I lying right now?
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  Because it's fun for some, narcissist line is fun for
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  others. It's a control mechanism.
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  Even if I'm lying, I'm still controlling the narrative.
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  Even if I'm lying, I'm still controlling what is going on.
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  Even if I'm lying, I still have some type of control here.
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  And you know, most narcissists are all about control.
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  They want to control the narrative.
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  They want to control your time, your effort, your energy, your
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  space, your mind, your reality, the kids realities, whoever
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  they're dealing with. They want to control every
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  almost every aspect of their lives in the lives of others.
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  So lying is a form of control for some narcissistic people.
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  Got it, Get it Good, Because this is the space that so many
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  of of us fall into, so many people that are dealing with
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  narcissists. You fall into this space that
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  narcissists are going to lie to you.
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  And there's no, a lot of times there's no good reason behind
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  it. They're just liars right?
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  Now you notice at the beginning I said that most narcissists
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  don't believe their own lies. Lee, what do you mean most?
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  Why not all? First of all, I don't speak in
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  absolutes. Second of all, I just know the
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  mentality of narcissists. Like there are some narcissists
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  out there that might believe their lies because they might
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  actually think it's the truth. You got it.
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  There are some narcissistic people out there right now that
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  might actually believe their own lies because so much time has
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  passed by, they forgot what the truth is.
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  If I have been telling the same lie for 20 years, like let's
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  just say I let's just let me, let me lay, let me lay the
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  groundwork for you. Let's just say I have AGPA in
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  high school. I'm 40 years old right now,
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  right? So I'm 22 years out of high
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  school. I graduated 2003.
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  Let's just say I had a a 2.1 GPA in high school, but when I
• 5:00
  graduated, I started telling people I had a three seven.
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  I had a 37373737. As time went by, I don't I
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  forgot what I really had. Now that 37 is my truth because
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  I forgot what I've had. I've told this lie so much that
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  I actually have started to kind of believe it, right?
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  I actually do believe it. So if I were to take a lie to
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  take the test right now, I would probably passed a lot to take
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  the test on having a 3.7 GPA as opposed to a 2.1.
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  You see, that's why it goes right there.
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  I would probably I would probably absolutely pass that
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  whole pass a lot to take the test telling you I had a 37 when
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  I three one. I mean 22.1 without what I
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  originally had because I forgot about the 2/1.
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  I've told this lie so much that I've actually started to believe
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  it. I've actually started to believe
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  this lie right now. You see, now it's my truth.
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  So if I've been telling a lie for a very long time, I might
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  actually start to believe it. Now it is actually my truth,
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  right? You see how what I just said
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  falls into the the statement earlier?
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  If they believe their lie is the truth to them in this situation,
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  because I've told this lie so many times over the last 20
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  years that I actually do believe that it's the truth.
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  Now you see how this is how, Sir, how that serves me right
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  there. I actually believe that this is
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  the truth. It it, it's because to me it is
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  right now, right? This lie that I've been telling
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  for 22 years is my version of the truth.
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  This lie I've been telling about my baby Mama or my baby daddy,
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  my ex-wife, my ex-husband, my kids, my, my upbringing, my
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  household, my age, not not the age the city I was born in.
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  If I've been telling these lies for a very long time, then I
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  actually think that this is my truth.
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  You see how that works right there?
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  You see how simple, how simple that that can get right there.
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  When you're dealing with somebody that has this type of
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  mentality, like when you're dealing with a pathological just
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  compulsive lying as narcissist, then dare.
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  Some of them have been telling the same lie so many times for
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  the last X amount of years that now they believe it.
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  So now if you question it, they would you, they'll just tell you
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  that this is their truth. They'll call you a liar for not
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  believing them because now I've told this lie so many times that
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  it's committed to my memory that I forgot what the truth is.
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  Now you, I will call you a liar for questioning me on it.
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  So even if you came to me and just like, hey, Lee, your high
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  school GPA right here was a 2.1. You said you had a three seven.
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  I would question that like not a hit you.
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  Where you get this from, you lying bastard, Where you get how
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  you dig this up? You created this.
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  I know I had a three seven. I know I had this, I know I had
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  that, blah, blah blah, Boo Boo Boo.
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  You see, that's how it would go. That's literally the mentality
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  of narcissistic, toxic, abusive ass people.
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  They will lie so much that they'll actually start to
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  believe it, and it's still still a form of control for them now.
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  They're still able to control the narrative here.
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  They're still able to control the dynamics, the insurance and
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  outs, the back and forward, the up and downs.
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  They're still able to control it because lying is about control.
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  You see how we vibing? You see it.
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  You see it now, don't you? You see exactly how we're
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  vibing. So that's what I've been telling
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  you. So if you ever thought started
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  to wonder, like do narcissists believe their own lies?
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  Ask yourself to for you personally, it doesn't matter,
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  right? Because like you're if you want
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  to leave them lying to you doesn't matter anymore because
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  you out of it, you don't care. You don't give a damn about the
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  lies no more right, Unless it affects you and your kids,
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  unless they're lying to the judge or something like that,
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  right? You have to have proof because
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  if they believe those lies, then you in for a wild ride, right?
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  You're in for a wild crazy ass ride dealing with a
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  manipulative, abusive bastard like this.
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  So that's something that you have to understand.
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  That's something a different way to go about doing things because
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  I look, I promise you, I believe that me as a narcissist would I
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  lie on the spot. I know it's a lie.
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  I know it's a lie. The narcissistic person that
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  you're dealing with, they know they're lying to you when
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  they're making up a when they're making up a story about late
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  coming home late at night and they know they will sleep on
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  somebody else. But in somehow they got an
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  alien, an alien abduction happen.
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  Like you know what, babe, I swear I didn't cheat on you.
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  They did. I just swear I didn't cheat on
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  you. Let me tell you what happened.
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  I had a couple of drinks and I was leaving the bar and have you
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  ever, have you ever heard of the cat distribution system?
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  Have you heard of it? It's like when a stray cat comes
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  up to you. It's now your cat.
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  So I'm coming home to you, baby, I know I love you so much.
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  I'm coming home to you. I'm a little tipsy, but I'm
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  coming home to you. And a cat came out of a cat came
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  out of an alley and they said meow, meow.
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  And I wouldn't got the cat. It's my cat.
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  The cat distribution system has finally chosen me.
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  I'd go into the alley and pick up the cat and guess what?
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  A naked woman is there and she took advantage of me.
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  She and she took the cat. Not only did she make me clap
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  her cheeks, she took the damn cat.
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  She took my manhood and she took my cat.
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  Do you think that? Do you think that I know that's
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  a lie, right? Yes, I know that's a lie.
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  Most narcissist know that they're lying to you.
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  Most of them know that they're lying to you.
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  Now I know. I know.
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  A question some people are going to ask.
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  Well, Lee, if they know it, can they control it?
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  Some absolutely have the ability to control the lies that they
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  tell you because they're doing it.
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  They're doing it on the go, right?
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  They're doing it quickly. They absolutely can control the
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  lies that they tell because they're trying to protect
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  themselves. They're trying to protect
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  themselves. They're doing this, they're
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  doing that. You see what I'm saying?
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  They can't control it. They know that they're lying to
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  you. Now, the compulsive liars, they
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  might be a different 1. The pathological liars, they
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  might be a little different. Whether they can ask yourself
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  this in in conclusion, y'all, whether they can control it or
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  not, does it really matter to you when you're trying to heal,
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  when you're trying to grow, when you're trying to make sense of
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  everything? These are questions you have to
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  ask yourself right here, y'all. Anyway, y'all cut this thing
• 11:32
  short, y'all. I recorded my first two episodes
• 11:35
  of the podcast. The mental illness podcast is
• 11:38
  launching soon. We're doing my first two have
• 11:41
  been virtual. I'm going to start doing in
• 11:43
  person right here. See my chair.
• 11:45
  You can be sitting in the chair right beside me asking questions
• 11:48
  about your own mental health and the mental health of others,
• 11:50
  narcissistic abuse, whatever. We everything, all topics are
• 11:53
  all topics are go here on the mental illness podcast out hit
• 11:57
  that subscribe button. If you want to be on the podcast
• 11:59
  and Share your story. There's a link in the
• 12:00
  description. There's like a Google, a Google
• 12:02
  forms link, Google doc link. Fill it out.
• 12:05
  I'll be reaching out to you and hit that subscribe button.
• 12:07
  Y'all got some more stuff coming for you.
• 12:09
  I'm out. Peace.