Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Why Narcissists Keep Asking If You Love Them

Transcript

Why Narcissists Keep Asking If You Love Them · The Mental Healness Podcast

0:00
What is going on? Beautiful folks today, beautiful
0:03
people, beautiful people today we're talking about why do
0:06
narcissists always ask you if you love them after they've done
0:11
something bad to you? They are.
0:12
Do you love me? Do you love me?
0:13
Do you love me? Why do they do that?
0:15
If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
0:17
I'm a diagnosed narcissist. And welcome to another episode
0:19
of The Narcissist Code. Let's get it.
0:37
Welcome back folks, welcome back, welcome back, welcome back
0:40
y'all. Yes, I know y'all felt it when I
0:44
said that, right? I know, I know.
0:45
At the beginning, before y'all saw the intro.
0:47
Intro yes or no. We all talk about the intro, the
0:49
little music intro, yes or no. I'm going back and forth between
0:52
the y'all, but I know y'all felt it when I asked that question.
0:57
Why do narcissists them, they're seemingly always ask you or
1:01
message you or e-mail you asking if you love them after they have
1:05
done something horrible to you. Why they, why are they, why do
1:08
they, why are they like this? Why can't they just take no for
1:11
an answer? Why do they do this and do that
1:13
and do this and do that? Like why do they always
1:16
seemingly why can't I? Why can't they take no for all
1:19
right? Like why don't I just ask the
1:21
same question over and over again?
1:23
Because they think if you say yes, they're still in there.
1:28
They want to know that if you still love them just the word,
1:31
because you saying that word gives them permission to do
1:35
whatever they want to do to get back into your life.
1:38
This is why a lot of times after you've caught them lying to you
1:42
or stealing money or cheating on you or they've put their hands
1:46
on you and now they're now they're trying to they're they
1:49
put their hands on you like they punched you in the face and they
1:51
took off running down the street or went back to their house or
1:54
to their parents house or wherever they went, right?
1:56
And now they're texting you. Do you still?
1:58
I'm so sorry for everything. Do you still love me?
2:02
They're always asking if you still love them, because if you
2:05
say yes, they feel like they could have permission.
2:08
It gives them a permission structure to try to come back
2:11
into your life by any means possible.
2:14
Believe what happens if we say no.
2:16
You make them, they, some of them try to go harder.
2:20
It's like really out. Realistically, it's a lose, lose
2:23
situation because no matter, no matter how you answer it, most
2:26
times they're going to keep doing what they're doing anyway
2:28
to try to get back into your life.
2:29
If you say yes, they're going to try to get back into your life.
2:32
If you say no, they're going to try to get back into your life.
2:35
So in these situations right here, you have to stand pat.
2:38
You have to stand pat on your beliefs and you're like,
2:43
whatever your goal is in this situation, do you want to get,
2:45
do you want them to leave you alone?
2:47
Do you want them to keep trying? Do you want to go back to them?
2:49
Because you have to stand strong and firm on your beliefs.
2:52
Like there's a girl in my support group right now.
2:55
Yes, I have a support group called the mental healers.
2:57
I'm actually working on an app for as well right now, but you
3:01
can find a link at mentalillness.net.
3:03
Did you want a support group and what not till I poured
3:05
everything over but yeah it the girl in the support group she
3:11
dropped a message into the chat like her partner had.
3:14
She showed her screenshots. Her partner or ex or whatever
3:16
was treating her horribly for a long ass time.
3:19
Like every time she would try to voice her opinion he would just
3:21
threaten to kick her out. Get literally threatened to kick
3:24
her out his apartment or actually kick her out.
3:27
I don't know if he actually cheated but if the relationship
3:28
got so toxic and manipulative and she was tired she was over
3:31
it because it kept going back and forth over and over again.
3:34
It's saying nothing was changing and then she was done.
3:37
She's like no, I'm done. I'm like and she's like he like
3:39
just get the hell out of here. I don't want to talk about this
3:41
shit. Bye.
3:41
So she left and then he was when she wasn't coming back.
3:44
He's all losing his mind. I miss you so much.
3:47
I love you so much. I'm going to go to therapy.
3:48
I promise you I won't do it again.
3:50
Do you love me? Do you still love me?
3:52
Please tell me you still love me.
3:54
Please tell me you still love me.
3:55
Can you still? Can you just say I love you
3:57
back? Please.
3:58
I love you without my heart and soul.
4:00
Can you please tell me that you love me back?
4:02
Please, please. Please baby, please, please baby
4:05
tell me that you love me. Please don't let me get.
4:07
Please don't let me die. Don't let me, I just.
4:09
Need it? Then immediately he's all
4:11
talking about sleeping water. I'm so horny right now, baby,
4:15
please. I'm horny.
4:17
Then I leave it. I want to give it to you.
4:20
I want to give it to nobody else.
4:21
I'm horny, please. Do you love me that y'all?
4:25
He was losing his mind because his plan wasn't working anymore.
4:28
His plan get to get her to shut the hell up wasn't working
4:30
anymore. You either shut the hell up or
4:32
get out. And normally she would just shut
4:35
up. But now she's like, no, I'm not
4:36
shut up, I'm done. And now she's not changing her
4:38
mind. And he's losing his damn mind.
4:40
Yeah, because he keeps trying to reiterate.
4:42
Ask her. Do you love me?
4:44
Do you love me? Do you love me?
4:46
If you say no, y'all the reason a lot of them will lose their
4:50
shit and try to come back into your life and try to work hard
4:53
to get back into your life. Not innate.
4:55
Like when I say work hard to get back into your life, I don't
4:57
mean that they're going to change to be a better person.
4:59
I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying when they, when they
5:02
try to work hard to get back into your life, it's because
5:06
they think if you tell them you don't love them anymore or you
5:08
don't answer the question at all, they automatically think
5:11
that you're with somebody else or that you're seeing somebody
5:13
else. No matter how soon it's after
5:16
this breakup has happened, no matter how soon it's went down,
5:20
no matter how soon that it that it happened and whatnot, this is
5:24
what goes on in their mind. Do you love me?
5:26
Tell me you love me. Please say you love me.
5:27
Back if you say no, their mind automatically.
5:30
Shifts to you. Having someone else you sleeping
5:33
with someone else, because that's why I like it in in those
5:36
messages that I just went over about that man.
5:38
That's why those messages. He literally in those messages,
5:43
he literally saw the time I was sleeping with her because she
5:46
wouldn't she wouldn't respond to her.
5:47
He thinks he thinks sleeping with her was going to change her
5:50
mind to get her to say, you know what, you put it down.
5:55
I know you've been beating my ass and cheating on me and you
5:58
gave me astd a couple times, then spit on my children, then
6:03
beat my kids up and then they're not going to get it.
6:06
But that that that cheat clap possession.
6:08
Oh, I love you so much. They think that their private
6:12
parts are going to get you to fall in love with them again
6:16
because they don't know how to. I'm gonna do a deeper dive on
6:18
the into this video topic out, but they don't know how to
6:21
express themselves in a healthy way.
6:23
They just do not, they don't know how to express love in a
6:27
healthy, connect, connective way.
6:29
That's why use a lot of times. You see narcissists always try
6:32
to get physical, always try to use physical stuff, physical
6:36
gifts, physical appearance, physical, physical, physical to
6:39
try to get back into your life. This is why they are rarely
6:42
going to change their behaviors to do anything differently
6:45
because this is who they are, right?
6:48
They're going to keep doing the same things over and over again.
6:50
They want the physical part of it.
6:52
So if they keep asking you do you love them, it's because they
6:56
think you're going to run off with somebody else.
6:58
They say you're going to go off and be with somebody else and
7:00
their minds cannot handle that. The mind cannot handle that
7:04
thought of you being with someone else.
7:06
It really can't. So it's just like, as you're
7:08
just trying to heal and grow and they keep asking you this
7:11
question, some of them will absolutely get paranoid.
7:15
Yeah, some of them will get paranoid and lose their damn
7:18
minds based on what's going on, based on what, what has
7:21
happened. Like some of them will
7:22
absolutely lose it. They will.
7:25
So it's just like as you're trying to heal, as you're trying
7:28
to grow, as you're trying to move forward, that's what you
7:30
have to understand. It's like this abusive,
7:33
manipulative, narcissistic person.
7:37
It's going to do whatever it takes to try to get back into
7:39
your life. Do you?
7:40
Still let me tell you, still let me please send me.
7:43
Yeah, and if you give in and you say yes, I love you, but that's
7:47
all they need to hear. That's all you did.
7:49
That's all they need to hear. I I was just not like, of course
7:52
use discretion because some of these people can get dangerous.
7:55
I'm telling you, some of them can get dangerous like that.
7:58
I've been seeing an uptick in these crazy ass bastards taking,
8:01
taking, taking their families lives and taking themselves out
8:04
of here. I've been seeing an uptick in
8:05
that because they can't handle getting held accountable for the
8:10
stuff that they do. So they unalive their partners
8:13
and their children and then they themselves.
8:15
That is crazy to me. Like that is absolutely insane.
8:19
And then they unalive themselves so they don't have to face the
8:21
music, but they're going to face it in hell.
8:22
They're going to burn and they little bastards going to cook in
8:25
hell for the rest of the rest of eternity.
8:28
But some people want them to suffer on Earth too.
8:30
I mean, I know it's just like I'm going to like no, the
8:33
perform the ritual that they did in the mummy and bring him back.
8:38
Bring him back so he can serve his time.
8:40
Bring him back, right. Don't just let him go.
8:44
You need to move that ritual at the beginning of the money.
8:47
When I knock soon the moon. He was just like he won't.
8:50
He won't have been trying to bring her spirit back.
8:53
I need that to happen to him, to them.
8:55
Bring them back so they can suffer the consequence.
8:57
Bring them back from the dead so they put them in jail for the
9:00
rest of their life. Yeah, but because it's horrible.
9:03
I hate seeing that type of stuff.
9:04
But this is what you have to protect yourself against these
9:06
crazy, manipulative bastards. They think that they can do
9:09
anything that they want to do, get away with it and come back
9:12
to you and just tell you tell them that you love them.
9:15
And then everything is smoothed back over.
9:17
And yeah, another reason why they just say, I keep asking the
9:20
question, do you love me? Do you let me tell me you love
9:22
me, is because they think love is just a fucking word.
9:25
They think love is just a word, that word.
9:27
They just need to hear the word, no actions behind it.
9:30
They just want to hear the word, right?
9:32
Because they think all you need to do is hear the word and sleep
9:36
with them. There's no real action behind it
9:39
that really it really is not. There's no action behind it.
9:42
There's no, there's no. It's not backed by anything like
9:47
literally this is not backed by anything at all.
9:50
There's no actions behind it is really is just empty ass words.
9:55
So they think your words mean more to them because they know.
9:57
But this is a my narcissist, right?
9:59
Even when they're treating you horribly, they think that they
10:03
love you, right? They'll tell you that they love
10:04
you. They'll tell you that they love
10:05
you after they've done something horrible to you, right?
10:09
So they think if in but they don't really love you like that.
10:12
If they keep doing the same horrible shit to you, they don't
10:14
love you. Let's be real, you know, I know
10:16
people ask me that question. Well, they keep cheating on me,
10:19
beating on me doing this. Do they really love?
10:20
No, they don't love you anymore. You know, and I'm not trying to
10:23
be harsh when I say that, but this is what you have to hear.
10:25
Sometimes they don't. If you are you loving people
10:28
that you're beating on and cheating on, you think you love
10:31
that person. No, you don't think you love
10:32
that person. You just sometimes you just
10:34
processing and just dealing with that person, right?
10:36
I don't think you love them and you don't think you love them.
10:39
I know it feels like it might feel like or sound like you love
10:41
them, but you don't love them at all, right?
10:43
May have love for them, but they fall out of love.
10:45
And that narcissistic person is thinking that that like love is
10:49
just a word that kind of keep you around.
10:51
So if you tell them that you love them after doing some
10:53
horrible ass shit, they they after they've done some horrible
10:56
stuff to you, yeah, they're going to keep coming back over
10:57
and over again because they think they're entitled to it.
11:00
They think they're entitled to your time, your effort, your
11:02
energy, your body, all of the above because this is how the
11:05
mind of a narcissist workshop. They think that they're entitled
11:09
to you. They think that whatever is
11:11
going on in the situation, however, however they've been
11:13
living their lives like they think that they're entitled to
11:16
you. They think they're entitled to
11:18
your existence, to your body, to your mind, to everything, all to
11:22
all of the above. You know, and I know it sucks
11:24
when I'm telling people this because like narcissistic
11:26
people, they will waste your time.
11:29
They absolutely will. If you tell them that you love
11:31
them and give in to their demands and go to therapy with
11:34
them or whatever the case may be, they'll just do the same
11:36
thing over and over again. Y'all?
11:37
Could it be good for a little while?
11:38
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't say this.
11:41
Anybody can be good for a short period of time.
11:45
Like anybody can be good for a little while, right?
11:50
Anybody can be good for. Anybody can be on their best
11:53
behavior for a couple of days. Like anybody can do that for a
11:57
couple of weeks. It's the extended time.
12:00
It's the consistent change behavior over time that matters.
12:03
It's not just this one or two thing, two prong thing.
12:06
Anybody can be good for a short period of time.
12:10
It's the consistency that matters, right?
12:12
It's the consistency that absolutely matters in these
12:15
situations. Your name.
12:17
And so it's just like, don't let like any like it's going to be
12:21
good for a little while. If you take them back, if you
12:23
tell them you love them and you sleep with them, it's going to
12:25
be good for a little while, right?
12:26
And they might actually knock your socks off in the bedroom.
12:29
They might actually knock your damn socks straight to the to to
12:32
the moon. Your socks, your socks and your
12:34
shoes might be in orbit by the end of this session right here.
12:38
But I'm just telling you right now that that narcissistic
12:41
person is going to keep doing the same things that they want
12:44
to do and they keep wanting to do it all over and over and over
12:47
again. So you have to be the ones to
12:49
protect your peace in these situations because they're not
12:51
going to protect your peace, y'all, Your peace to a
12:54
narcissist, your peace is not worth protecting.
12:57
They're going to keep doing the stuff that they want to do
13:00
because this is how their minds works, you mean?
13:05
But anyway, y'all, I've been rambling on long enough.
13:08
Hit that subscribe button if you haven't already, y'all.
13:10
We're inching closer to 500 K. My podcast interviews and stuff
13:15
is going to start this week. See, I'll be ready.
13:18
Take care of yourselves. And as always, y'all, me too.
13:20
This is peace. Oh, the camera is how this
13:24
camera get someone here. This is out for real this time.
13:28
Peace. What's going on?
13:32
Beautiful folks. Thank you so much for making it
13:34
to the end of my video. I truly appreciate it.
13:35
You have no idea. If you haven't already, hit that
13:38
subscribe button. You made it this far, you might
13:40
as well subscribe. It really does help the channel
13:44
y'all y'all? It helps me reach more people as
13:45
well. Also, I have coaching my courses
13:48
and my support group available at www.mentalillness.net.
13:52
Thank you so much. Make sure you stick around,
13:53
watch another video or two. I appreciate it.
13:56
I'm out.