Latest / The You Project / #2179 When The Host Is The Guest - Andrew May

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#2179 When The Host Is The Guest - Andrew May · The You Project

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Speaker 1: Harps. We were chatting a few months ago about ideas
0:03
Speaker 1: for future podcasts, which we periodically do. I think the
0:06
Speaker 1: cool kids call them a koshare And I asked you,
0:10
Speaker 1: how are you going? And your response stopped me. You said,
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Speaker 1: I'm feeling pretty shit, to be honest, mate, life has
0:16
Speaker 1: been bloody tough. And then on the New Project last week,
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Speaker 1: on an episode with Tiffany Cook, you said something that
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Speaker 1: stopped me in my tracks.
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Speaker 2: I've never said this ever publicly, but I'm going to
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Speaker 2: say it. Sometimes I feel really lonely, you know, like
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Speaker 2: in a busy room full of people, there's nothing about
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Speaker 2: me that if I'm in a room of people, I
0:41
Speaker 2: want it to be about me. In fact, quite the opposite.
0:43
Speaker 2: I'd like to be unnoticed. But I've felt my whole
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Speaker 2: life to an extent like I don't fit in. Right.
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Speaker 2: I know that I can fit in. I have social skills,
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Speaker 2: I can communicate, I can do what I need to
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Speaker 2: to make people laugh and do the thing.
1:01
Speaker 1: And I think a lot of people would hear that
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Speaker 1: and go Craig Harper harp slowly, how what Because your
1:07
Speaker 1: identity and your energy and connection is all about helping
1:10
Speaker 1: other people. But you're a human with feelings and emotions
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Speaker 1: and challenges like the rest of us. So I wanted
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Speaker 1: to get on today, mate and talk about who motivates
1:19
Speaker 1: the motivator?
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Speaker 2: Can we do something happier? We can we do something
1:26
Speaker 2: more comfortable? Hello, mate, It's good to chat to you.
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Speaker 2: It's always good to chat to you. I'm happy to
1:31
Speaker 2: go wherever you want to go. And I'm interested in
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Speaker 2: human behavior and human responses and just the way that
1:37
Speaker 2: we reason and rationalize and process our own thinking and
1:41
Speaker 2: behaving and choosing and the world around us. And so
1:45
Speaker 2: this is a weird emotion, but sometimes my emotion around
1:51
Speaker 2: my own emotions is like, if I feel flat or
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Speaker 2: if I'm in a state that's not great, I get
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Speaker 2: curious around it and I want to learn about me
2:02
Speaker 2: in the middle of that. So I think, yeah, you're right,
2:05
Speaker 2: I've felt a bit flat lately and I've struggled. And
2:10
Speaker 2: there would have been a time in my life where
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Speaker 2: I would not have this conversation with you, because I
2:14
Speaker 2: was way too much of an alpha male and my
2:16
Speaker 2: ego was you know, it's probably not terrible now, but
2:20
Speaker 2: it was significant and all I just wanted to be
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Speaker 2: the guy that didn't have any chinks in his armor,
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Speaker 2: and you know that guy doesn't exist anywhere, not just me,
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Speaker 2: but anywhere. So the more within reason, vulnerable and open.
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Speaker 2: And I hate this word, it gets flogged and misused.
2:38
Speaker 2: But authentic I can be. I realized that for some people,
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Speaker 2: not all. But that's more helpful than Craig the bloody
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Speaker 2: human behavior expert just banging on about theories about performance
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Speaker 2: and psychology and happiness and contentment and all those things.
2:56
Speaker 2: So yeah, I actually started a chat with if, who
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Speaker 2: co hosts some of my shows. I started off and
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Speaker 2: I we were having a shit weekend. I said, you know, Tiff,
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Speaker 2: how has your week been? And she turned it on
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Speaker 2: me and went, well, actually, how's your week been? And
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Speaker 2: I went, ah, this is tricky because the actual answer
3:16
Speaker 2: is not very good, and so we just went from there,
3:20
Speaker 2: how are you very good? Alps? But yes, you've had
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Speaker 2: a time, haven't you. It's been. It's been an interesting
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Speaker 2: time on planet Craig. It's been one of those those
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Speaker 2: times that happens to people where normally I'm the one
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Speaker 2: coaching and supporting or doing my best too. So I've
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Speaker 2: been coaching me, supporting me. Come on, come on, you
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Speaker 2: can do this, it's been a very I don't want
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Speaker 2: to be I don't want to be at all self indulgent,
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Speaker 2: but I guess to a point I would like to
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Speaker 2: share with people what's been going on away from all
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Speaker 2: the whiteboards and the gags and the dick jokes and
4:02
Speaker 2: the fucks and the cocks. And it's been I'm not
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Speaker 2: going to lie, it's been hard. It's been really hard.
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Speaker 2: So Mum and Dad eighty six, eighty seven and there
4:14
Speaker 2: not too near future. Dad's eighty seven in July, and yeah,
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Speaker 2: it's just been. And let me say up front, I
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Speaker 2: don't I'm not looking for any sympathy to for anyone,
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Speaker 2: but che's it's been. It's been a it's been a test.
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Speaker 2: It's like, it's been really interesting for me to have
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Speaker 2: self awareness in the middle of some really challenging things
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Speaker 2: and trying to figure out how to how I need
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Speaker 2: to be well, not manufacturing anything, but how I need
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Speaker 2: to be energetically, emotionally practically for my parents who are
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Speaker 2: going through some stuff so they're not very quick. Version
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Speaker 2: is that, yeahs Dad's pretty crook. He's he's got a
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Speaker 2: bunch of complicated, intersecting medical issues that mean he's been
5:15
Speaker 2: in hospital for the last week, and you know, it's
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Speaker 2: not great. It's not great. Yeah, And when somebody's really
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Speaker 2: physically unwell, you kind of part of you is like, oh,
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Speaker 2: we'll just treat this and give them appeal for that
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Speaker 2: and give an assessment on that. And there's all of
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Speaker 2: the medical stuff that's going on, and there's there's a
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Speaker 2: lot with him, but then there's the practical stuff and
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Speaker 2: the emotional stuff and then me, you know, Mum and
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Speaker 2: Dad are I would say codependent in that they just
5:55
Speaker 2: like they've never really been a part. I don't know,
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Speaker 2: you know, since they got married, how many nights they've
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Speaker 2: spent a part And that they got married in sixty two, folks,
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Speaker 2: so think about that. So that's sixty four years ago.
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Speaker 2: In fact, May twenty six, so in eight days from
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Speaker 2: when we're recording this, it's sixty four years of marriage.
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Speaker 2: So they are they're more one than they are two.
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Speaker 2: And so there's all the emotional and the psychological and
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Speaker 2: the sociological issues, and truly it's hard not to it's
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Speaker 2: hard not to let yourself go down the path that
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Speaker 2: you don't want to go down, trying to be trying
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Speaker 2: to find a little bit of light in the darkness
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Speaker 2: and trying to not capitulate. And then you know, because
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Speaker 2: and people care, So I get asked fifty times a
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Speaker 2: day at the moment, you know, and then you don't
6:49
Speaker 2: want to go. I can't be fuck talking about it,
6:51
Speaker 2: but I kind of can't. But at the same time,
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Speaker 2: lots of people love him and them. It's been a
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Speaker 2: test of me for me and trying to be trying
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Speaker 2: to walk my own talk. So it's been an interesting time,
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Speaker 2: Tiffany and Cook. I think everyone gets lonely or feels alone,
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Speaker 2: or feel sad, or feel scared or and there's no
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Speaker 2: self pity in this because overall my life is great
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Speaker 2: and even you know, the focal point of my concern
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Speaker 2: at the moment, which is my aging parents. They've been
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Speaker 2: great parents, have had a great life. They're both eighty
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Speaker 2: seven this year, you know. So in the context of things,
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Speaker 2: it's just it's really more normal than abnormal. But every
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Speaker 2: first is a first. Like I've never had old parents,
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Speaker 2: super old parents that are in the state my parents
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Speaker 2: are in and so God bless them. And so you
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Speaker 2: just in the middle of all of the stuff that
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Speaker 2: I know and think I know and I've been through.
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Speaker 2: This is a first for me and trying to navigate
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Speaker 2: all the emotional, psychological, medical, clinical, practical, financial variable I'm
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Speaker 2: trying to take care of parents who are on the
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Speaker 2: home straight. Yeah that's a steep learning curve for me.
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Speaker 2: But I tend to not waste a lot of energy
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Speaker 2: on the things I can't control. But I also acknowledge
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Speaker 2: out I don't I don't feel great today, or I
8:17
Speaker 2: feel a bit sad, but not helpless or hopeless, but yeah,
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Speaker 2: that's how I feel them. So it's been an interesting
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Speaker 2: month or two learning more obviously in a practical realm
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Speaker 2: of how to navigate this new kind of a challenge
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Speaker 2: in space, but also paying attention, you know, like my
8:35
Speaker 2: whole PhD is around really self awareness and Dull Socrates
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Speaker 2: said two and a half thousand years to know thyself
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Speaker 2: as the beginning of wisdom. And I think to really
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Speaker 2: understand ourselves is not a quick, easy, or often comfortable
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Speaker 2: process because there's got to be a level of self
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Speaker 2: acknowledgment that we don't want. So a lot of what
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Speaker 2: I do and I choose it and I'm grateful for it,
9:02
Speaker 2: but a lot of my interactions are energy out, not
9:04
Speaker 2: energy in because I spend a lot of time with
9:07
Speaker 2: people who need help, which is a blessing and I'm
9:10
Speaker 2: very grateful for that. But right now I tend to
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Speaker 2: not spend a lot of time with people that I
9:17
Speaker 2: don't need to or I don't love being around that person.
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Speaker 2: You know, if there's somebody that fills my cup, I'm happy.
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Speaker 2: But I kind of you know, we all have. I
9:28
Speaker 2: used to call it with my athletes and teams. I
9:30
Speaker 2: used to call it their performance threshold, and it was
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Speaker 2: really about where's the point where what I'm doing, whatever
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Speaker 2: it is, whether it's training, whether it's doing session after
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Speaker 2: session with clients, or whether or not it's you know, business,
9:44
Speaker 2: or where my performance starts to turn to crap. And
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Speaker 2: so for me, because I'm reasonably self aware, I just
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Speaker 2: don't I won't commit to like I've done a podcast today,
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Speaker 2: one of mine, and I'm doing yours, and I would
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Speaker 2: not do another one today, whereas normally I would. I've
10:02
Speaker 2: done five podcasts in a day, you know. So, but
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Speaker 2: I just recognize that, and I'm, by the way, genuinely
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Speaker 2: happy to be here. And I love talking to you
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Speaker 2: because you're a mate. Sometimes you know this, Sometimes you
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Speaker 2: do a podcast and it feels like work, and other
10:16
Speaker 2: times it just feels like for me, this is energy
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Speaker 2: in even though you know I'm answering questions, that I'm
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Speaker 2: doing the thing that for me right now, there's just
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Speaker 2: nothing but calm and contentment. There's zero anxiety. I'm glad
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Speaker 2: I'm here, and i know I'm probably going to feel
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Speaker 2: better than worse after I finish this. So it's very
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Speaker 2: much about self awareness for me, and I think keeping
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Speaker 2: in mind that you know whether or not you're a
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Speaker 2: podcast or a CEO, or an athlete or a checkout
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Speaker 2: person at Cole's or whatever your station in life or
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Speaker 2: your job at the minute, or you're a mum, or
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Speaker 2: you're a dad, or you've got no kids or nine kids,
10:55
Speaker 2: or ultimately, we're all human beings just on this journey
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Speaker 2: trying to figure shit out. And you know, the truth
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Speaker 2: is that different things will work for different people. So
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Speaker 2: what works for me is, you know, my own little
11:09
Speaker 2: protocol around you know, food and lifestyle and exercise and
11:14
Speaker 2: time alone and time with others. And but my formula
11:18
Speaker 2: probably wouldn't work for anyone else in the way that
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Speaker 2: it works for me, because there's only one me. I
11:23
Speaker 2: don't know if that's good or bad, but I think,
11:26
Speaker 2: you know, one of the things, especially when we're in
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Speaker 2: there self helps you know, personal development, human behavior, psychology,
11:33
Speaker 2: excellent space, is that we try to find this recipe
11:36
Speaker 2: or this formula, the five steps, the three steps, the
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Speaker 2: seven steps. I honestly fuck the steps because the steps
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Speaker 2: very day to day, and what will work for me
11:44
Speaker 2: on Monday won't work for me on Thursday because I'm
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Speaker 2: a different version of me. So there's for me, there's
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Speaker 2: very much a you know, there are some logical things
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Speaker 2: that for me non negotiables. I've got to walk ten
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Speaker 2: thousand steps plus a day most days of the world.
12:00
Speaker 2: I'm going to lift weights most days of the week.
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Speaker 2: I'm going to do my research, and all these things
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Speaker 2: that are kind of non negotiables. But then the other
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Speaker 2: stuff is flexible, And you know, I think it's being
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Speaker 2: able to tap in not to the not into the knowledge,
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Speaker 2: but into the intelligence or the wisdom or the insight
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Speaker 2: or the intuition, whatever you want to call it. For me,
12:24
Speaker 2: it's the stuff that you know that nobody's taught you.
12:27
Speaker 2: And I'm not even talking about life experience, and I've
12:30
Speaker 2: been through this and I know that. But you know,
12:33
Speaker 2: this is a bit wo wove probably so early in
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Speaker 2: the podcast, But I believe there's an intelligence that's outside
12:39
Speaker 2: of us that whether whatever that is, Like, I experienced
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Speaker 2: this a lot where I feel like I'm a conduit.
12:47
Speaker 2: I'm not the answer, but I'm a conduit to the
12:49
Speaker 2: answer sometimes. And yeah, and I think, like when I
12:55
Speaker 2: was young, I'm digressing, But when I was young, I
12:57
Speaker 2: was I just wanted to build a brand, build business,
13:00
Speaker 2: set up more and more gyms, train more and more people,
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Speaker 2: get more and more exposure, do as much media as
13:05
Speaker 2: I can, you know, write for this paper, get on
13:08
Speaker 2: that radio station, do some TV work, if you know.
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Speaker 2: And it was not a bad intention, but very self
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Speaker 2: centered and self focused. And I don't know, I've probably
13:17
Speaker 2: told you this, but I don't want to bore your audience.
13:19
Speaker 2: But I had a Catharsis in my early thirties, a
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Speaker 2: moment where I just realized I was achieving more and
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Speaker 2: more and building bigger and better brand and making more
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Speaker 2: dough and buying more stuff, and I was maybe the
13:32
Speaker 2: least happy I'd ever been. And I went, well, if anything,
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Speaker 2: that's an inverse correlation. I'm not saying it's causal. But
13:40
Speaker 2: I'm saying ah because I think that, and I'll shut
13:44
Speaker 2: up after this. But I think that many of us
13:47
Speaker 2: grow up unconsciously programmed into this idea that success is
13:52
Speaker 2: about stuff, and we all think that success equals happiness
13:56
Speaker 2: or it will because nobody put up your hands who
13:59
Speaker 2: wants to be a failure? And nobody puts their hand
14:01
Speaker 2: up who wants to be miserable? Nobody puts their hand up.
14:04
Speaker 2: So everybody wants success and everyone wants happiness or calm
14:07
Speaker 2: or whatever their version.
14:08
Speaker 1: Of that is.
14:10
Speaker 2: But I distinctly realized, I've got more stuff, and I'm
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Speaker 2: doing more stuff, and I'm making more dough. Why do
14:17
Speaker 2: I feel the way that I do? And I don't
14:19
Speaker 2: think that caused the feeling, but it clearly demonstrated to
14:24
Speaker 2: me that I couldn't resolve internal things with external achievements
14:29
Speaker 2: or stuff, you know. And so, and I've always been
14:33
Speaker 2: deep and weird, and I grew up in church, and
14:35
Speaker 2: then I went on a bit of a spiritual quest
14:38
Speaker 2: until I was probably twenty five, where I was doing
14:40
Speaker 2: a deep dive into everything. And yeah, I've always been
14:44
Speaker 2: aware that for me anyway, you know, things as fun
14:48
Speaker 2: as they are. I've got a couple of motorbikes. I
14:50
Speaker 2: love bikes, and I've got a nice house. I'm very
14:52
Speaker 2: grateful all that stuff, but that isn't where for me.
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Speaker 2: It's about connection and love and you know, belonging. I
15:00
Speaker 2: guess everyone wants to belong to someone or something.
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Speaker 1: So have you got a couple of people you ask, Hey,
15:06
Speaker 1: how am I going? What do you see? What am
15:08
Speaker 1: I missing? Is it a couple of trusted people? Do
15:11
Speaker 1: you have a board of people on that? How does
15:14
Speaker 1: that work?
15:14
Speaker 2: Well? I have some that just tell me without being asked.
15:20
Speaker 2: So my best mate from school, his name's Vin. Shout
15:24
Speaker 2: out to Vin. Vincon Heat and Harris love him. Every
15:28
Speaker 2: time we finish talking he goes, one of us goes,
15:31
Speaker 2: love you mate, Love you mate. Right, So there's I
15:35
Speaker 2: love him, he loves me. But he will go no,
15:38
Speaker 2: I think that's bullshit, like one of my ideas. That's bullshit,
15:43
Speaker 2: or I disagree or whatever. And I like that because
15:47
Speaker 2: when I go, Okay, why do you think that's bullshit?
15:50
Speaker 2: Then often he'll say something which from where he's standing
15:54
Speaker 2: metaphorically or literally, it is bullshit. And so this is
15:59
Speaker 2: part of an extrapolation of you know, metacognition thinking about
16:04
Speaker 2: thinking that you mentioned earlier, and then met obception understanding
16:07
Speaker 2: how others see us. But in the middle theory of mind,
16:10
Speaker 2: which we've again we've spoken about, but is your capacity
16:14
Speaker 2: to understand others even though you don't agree with them
16:18
Speaker 2: or align with them. Realizing that understanding somebody is not
16:23
Speaker 2: necessarily even liking them. But it's in our interest whatever
16:28
Speaker 2: the context, if we are in some human interaction, a personal, professional,
16:34
Speaker 2: romantic negotiation, whatever it is, we are definitely at an
16:40
Speaker 2: advantage if we can understand the experience or part understand
16:44
Speaker 2: the experience of the person in front of us.
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Speaker 1: We've also got to be open to feedback. So you
16:49
Speaker 1: obviously grew up with Vin or Vinnie, and you've got
16:52
Speaker 1: a history and lineage there. It's good to have someone
16:55
Speaker 1: like that, isn't it for people listening to have it?
16:56
Speaker 1: I always say when I'm working with an athlete or
16:59
Speaker 1: an artist that's about to go big, and I get
17:04
Speaker 1: them to get a sheet of paper and write put
17:06
Speaker 1: their name in the middle, drew a circle. Who are
17:08
Speaker 1: the four or five people in your inner circle? And
17:12
Speaker 1: if I'm still working with you in five years and
17:14
Speaker 1: those four or five people is eighty percent the same.
17:17
Speaker 1: I reckon, we're going to be okay. And I know
17:19
Speaker 1: that sounds so simple, but as their bubble grows, if
17:24
Speaker 1: they keep grounded with those people that knew them, yeah,
17:27
Speaker 1: when they're at school and made the mistakes or stuff
17:30
Speaker 1: up throughout UNI, it's going to keep them grounded. They're
17:33
Speaker 1: not going to believe the press because it comes. It's
17:35
Speaker 1: that song. It comes and goes in waves, and so
17:37
Speaker 1: does fame and so to success. And you and I've
17:40
Speaker 1: both seen way too many people made it get swept
17:42
Speaker 1: up in all the furor and the fame, and then
17:45
Speaker 1: five six years later it's gone. And if you've lost
17:48
Speaker 1: those core people, life is really lightly. In fact, it's
17:51
Speaker 1: horrible because you've gone from the excitement and the anticipation.
17:56
Speaker 1: And we know on goal setting it's still actually the goal.
17:59
Speaker 1: It's the anticipation of the goal that gets people excited.
18:02
Speaker 1: It's why there's a post Olympic depression because it's been
18:05
Speaker 1: four years, eight years, twelve years to get to the Olympics.
18:08
Speaker 1: You do and then shit, what do I do after that?
18:10
Speaker 2: And you realize those initial relationships are built on love
18:15
Speaker 2: and connection and sometimes the subsequent relationships are built on
18:22
Speaker 2: a strategy, and it's as you have, I'm sure and
18:26
Speaker 2: a lot of our listeners all of a sudden it's
18:28
Speaker 2: our podcast, sorry your listeners. Whereas, oh, this person's great
18:33
Speaker 2: to me when I'm valuable to them, you know, well,
18:36
Speaker 2: that's a strategic alliance on their part, that's not Whereas
18:41
Speaker 2: the people that I know, like, no, with one hundred
18:45
Speaker 2: percent confidence doesn't mean one hundred percent accuracy, but one
18:48
Speaker 2: hundred percent confidence on my part. That would be if
18:52
Speaker 2: I was Craig Harper, the unemployed blow who was struggling,
18:57
Speaker 2: they would love me and be there for me as much,
19:00
Speaker 2: maybe more right or no disrespect anyone who's not working
19:06
Speaker 2: at the minute, you know, it's just that I have.
19:10
Speaker 2: I don't mean there to be any way as meanness
19:12
Speaker 2: in this, but so many people who want to be
19:15
Speaker 2: your friend because it's in their interest to be your friend.
19:20
Speaker 2: It's like when people say to me, I don't know
19:23
Speaker 2: how much you charge for coaching one on one. I'm
19:25
Speaker 2: not going to ask, but I imagine it's not insignificant.
19:29
Speaker 2: Same with me, but and I also help a lot
19:32
Speaker 2: of people for nothing, which I want to. But when
19:35
Speaker 2: people send me a message that I don't know, and
19:39
Speaker 2: they I'd love to I'd love to buy you a
19:41
Speaker 2: coffee and pick your brain. I'm like, well, what you
19:44
Speaker 2: want is a five dollar coaching session. It's like, I
19:47
Speaker 2: would rather you be honest and go. I don't have
19:50
Speaker 2: any dough. I think you're great. I would really like
19:53
Speaker 2: your help. Now that's not an invitation, by the way,
19:57
Speaker 2: but do you know what I mean? At least you
19:58
Speaker 2: know what's happening.
20:01
Speaker 1: I have one of those today, and I've known the
20:02
Speaker 1: guy a while and come back to the theme who
20:07
Speaker 1: motivates the motivator? So I sent him a message, Hey,
20:11
Speaker 1: happy to catch up. I don't have a lot of
20:13
Speaker 1: time and I don't drink a lot of coffee, I said. So,
20:16
Speaker 1: I actually said, are you wanting some coaching or do
20:19
Speaker 1: you want to talk to me about selling something? Just
20:21
Speaker 1: could I cut through? Like what do you really want? So?
20:23
Speaker 1: I haven't heard back yet. It was a bit ambiguous.
20:26
Speaker 1: I'd met him through footy.
20:27
Speaker 2: And that's okay, Yeah, I mean it's not I'm not
20:30
Speaker 2: mad at that. I'm like, just say, just say the thing.
20:33
Speaker 2: And you know, many times people will go, oh, are
20:36
Speaker 2: you interested in coming in with us on this project?
20:39
Speaker 2: And I go, tell me all about it. And then
20:41
Speaker 2: thirty minutes later I go, nah, and they're like and
20:45
Speaker 2: and I go, that doesn't mean I don't think it'll work.
20:48
Speaker 2: That doesn't mean I don't think you're great. But if
20:50
Speaker 2: you want the truth, I don't want to be involved
20:52
Speaker 2: in that. That doesn't you know that's not an insult.
20:55
Speaker 2: But are you saying, Craig, do you want to The
20:57
Speaker 2: answer is no, but thanks for thinking on me. And
21:01
Speaker 2: then all obviously you know if that's a friend based
21:04
Speaker 2: on what happens next, Because if what happens next is
21:07
Speaker 2: you don't hear from them for two years, you go,
21:10
Speaker 2: that was never a friendship.
21:12
Speaker 1: They wanted the experience without paying for it. It's called consulting. Hey, so,
21:17
Speaker 1: VINDI is going to ground you. Do you have someone
21:20
Speaker 1: that inspires? So I won't use the motivation word for you,
21:23
Speaker 1: but do you have people that you go to that
21:26
Speaker 1: give you? I love the Latin word and spiraray the
21:30
Speaker 1: Latin word to breathe life into So who breathes life
21:33
Speaker 1: into you?
21:35
Speaker 2: A few people in different ways, but there's one person
21:38
Speaker 2: in my life that I have definitely over talked about
21:41
Speaker 2: on my show. So for people who have come over
21:46
Speaker 2: to have a listen from there, just go hop in
21:48
Speaker 2: the bean bag, make yourself a cup of coffee. But
21:51
Speaker 2: I don't know if I've mentioned him on here, but
21:53
Speaker 2: a friend of mine had a horrific car accident eight
21:56
Speaker 2: years ago where he had gas bottle explode in the
22:00
Speaker 2: back of his ute and the roof was torn off,
22:05
Speaker 2: and the first responders got there and assumed that nobody
22:08
Speaker 2: could survive that and didn't even approach the vehicle to
22:12
Speaker 2: help because they just assumed that whoever was in there
22:16
Speaker 2: was dead, and also they thought there might be another explosion.
22:19
Speaker 2: So about an hour later, and of course he was
22:23
Speaker 2: still alive. They don't know how he was alive or
22:27
Speaker 2: I've actually got some good stuff around this guy. They
22:31
Speaker 2: got to him to do a body retrieval and he
22:33
Speaker 2: had a pulse, and they're like, how the fuck has
22:36
Speaker 2: he got a pulse because he's just it's just his
22:39
Speaker 2: condition is not consistent with life anyway. The quick version
22:43
Speaker 2: is they went, oh, we probably won't make it to
22:45
Speaker 2: the Alfred the Hospital, and then they went and he
22:48
Speaker 2: did and they were mesmerized by that. Then they went, well,
22:53
Speaker 2: he's almost definitely not going to get through surgery. He
22:56
Speaker 2: needs so much surgery, it's going to take so long,
22:59
Speaker 2: and he's had so much happened to his body. Well,
23:01
Speaker 2: he got through the surgery, and the surgery was like
23:03
Speaker 2: twenty two hours or something crazy and teams of surgeons.
23:08
Speaker 2: Then he went into obviously to recovery, and they went, well,
23:15
Speaker 2: he like the whole all the stuff you can. He
23:17
Speaker 2: probably won't wake up. If he does, it's not going
23:20
Speaker 2: to be great because he's going to have a significant
23:22
Speaker 2: brain injury. He's going to be a quadriplegic. He's you know.
23:26
Speaker 2: So without saying it'd be better if he died, they
23:30
Speaker 2: were kind of saying that, like in What's the most
23:32
Speaker 2: humane Da da da. Anyway, it was in hospital for
23:36
Speaker 2: nearly half a year. Obviously didn't die. And I started
23:40
Speaker 2: training him the day after he came out of hospital,
23:46
Speaker 2: and we started in a wheelchair with a broomstick I've
23:50
Speaker 2: been training and literally like a two hundred grand piece
23:53
Speaker 2: of dow where I would put it in his hands
23:57
Speaker 2: and I would see how far he could move that
23:59
Speaker 2: two hundred gram bit of wood. And we started there
24:03
Speaker 2: doing pushing and pulling in a wheelchair with a bit
24:05
Speaker 2: of wood with me providing manual resistance. And now eight
24:08
Speaker 2: years later, he drives himself to the gym three days
24:11
Speaker 2: a week. He walks with sticks. He's got a spinal
24:14
Speaker 2: cord injury, he's got a TBI, he's got a brain injury.
24:19
Speaker 2: He wouldn't mind me saying this. He's got a bag
24:21
Speaker 2: for front and back, or he catheterizes to we he's
24:26
Speaker 2: got a bow because he's sorry, a bag because he
24:30
Speaker 2: can't go the toilet, and he's got a myriad of
24:31
Speaker 2: other issues. And he never has one day, like not
24:36
Speaker 2: one hour andrew of one day where he isn't in pain.
24:41
Speaker 2: It's just how much pain he's in. And he comes
24:45
Speaker 2: into the gym, first thing he does is ask me
24:48
Speaker 2: how I am and hugs me right. And many times
24:54
Speaker 2: I've seen him in the gym where his body just
24:56
Speaker 2: gets taken over by these massive involin terry spasms, where
25:03
Speaker 2: he's just in excruciating fifteen out of ten pain, and
25:07
Speaker 2: he has this look on his face and then it
25:11
Speaker 2: lasts maybe sixty seconds, and then it goes and then
25:15
Speaker 2: he is just exhausted. And nonetheless he just keeps showing up.
25:22
Speaker 2: The only time he has any relief is when he's
25:24
Speaker 2: asleep and never complaints, never complaints, and is always thanking me.
25:31
Speaker 2: And I'm not being disingenuous when I say he has
25:34
Speaker 2: done more for my mental and emotional health and my
25:38
Speaker 2: sense of values and gratitude and then of all the sessions,
25:47
Speaker 2: and also I will give a shout out to my
25:49
Speaker 2: training partner Mark, who helps him as well. Yeah, he's
25:53
Speaker 2: been a teacher for me without even knowing it, So
25:56
Speaker 2: he is hands down. I don't really get that inspired
26:00
Speaker 2: by what people say because I'm so used to words
26:04
Speaker 2: and words are so eh. But I get inspired by
26:07
Speaker 2: what people do, and I'm inspired and impressed by him
26:12
Speaker 2: in a way that nobody else that I know impresses
26:14
Speaker 2: me so. And if I'm having a shit one, I
26:18
Speaker 2: honestly just think of him and punch myself in the
26:21
Speaker 2: face metaphorically.
26:23
Speaker 1: It's inspirarer breathing life into How can you how can
26:28
Speaker 1: you not shift your attitude? How can you not shift
26:31
Speaker 1: your energy? And how can you not shift that mindset
26:34
Speaker 1: that they've got opportunities when you're working with such a
26:36
Speaker 1: great man like him, who could easily have given up,
26:39
Speaker 1: I'm sure multiple times, but it just keeps going it.
26:42
Speaker 2: And look, it's it's not discounting anyone else's feelings. And
26:46
Speaker 2: we don't want to be you know, I want to
26:49
Speaker 2: be respectful. Like a big problem for a person is
26:52
Speaker 2: a big problem. But sometimes I think I'm in the
26:55
Speaker 2: middle of a big problem and I'm having a big
26:57
Speaker 2: problem response like emotionally nervous system, everything, cardiovascular, by pressure,
27:03
Speaker 2: everything's going on, And then I just catch myself. I'm like,
27:10
Speaker 2: what's making this happen is not the thing, but rather
27:14
Speaker 2: my story in the moment about the thing. And We've
27:16
Speaker 2: banged on about this before. I'm fascinated with what our
27:21
Speaker 2: mind can do to our body, for good or bad.
27:25
Speaker 2: Will you think something terrible is going to happen, but
27:27
Speaker 2: it isn't. Your body just goes into that state of
27:32
Speaker 2: stress and anxiety, even though it's not required, that whole
27:37
Speaker 2: fight or flight sympathetic nervous system response, blah blah blah.
27:41
Speaker 2: All that's going nuts, not because you're in danger, but
27:44
Speaker 2: because you think something.
27:46
Speaker 1: Have you drawn on that in recent times with you,
27:50
Speaker 1: Mum and dad? Have you have you drawn Because even
27:54
Speaker 1: as we heard that excerpt, you're driving a couple of
27:56
Speaker 1: hours to see your parents. You're driving a couple of
27:58
Speaker 1: hours back. That's a lot of time I'm in the
28:00
Speaker 1: car to reflect and ruminate and to get it those
28:04
Speaker 1: spirals sometimes that helplessness, hopelessness, you know, we get to
28:08
Speaker 1: that spiral, then everything becomes bad. So is that your strategy?
28:11
Speaker 1: You think about your mate, you think about some other
28:13
Speaker 1: things to pull you back up.
28:15
Speaker 2: I think these days. To me, this is going to
28:18
Speaker 2: sound weird, but I'll come back to your question. It's
28:21
Speaker 2: like with willpower, willpower doesn't work. And the reason willpower
28:26
Speaker 2: doesn't work is because nobody can be disciplined and focused
28:30
Speaker 2: and have willpower twenty four to seven for the next
28:32
Speaker 2: thirty years. So we need to reprogram ourselves to be
28:38
Speaker 2: able to do the thing that we need to do.
28:40
Speaker 2: So this is now hardwired into my subconscious. This is
28:43
Speaker 2: programmed into my normal operating system. This is a genuine,
28:47
Speaker 2: non negotiable. So I don't need to get inspired or
28:50
Speaker 2: motivated or disciplined or to do this thing, because that
28:56
Speaker 2: is just how I am now. It's like I don't
28:58
Speaker 2: need discipline willpower stream for resilience, to train every day,
29:02
Speaker 2: to eat two meals a day, to not drink booze,
29:04
Speaker 2: to not smoke, to not use drugs, to not do
29:07
Speaker 2: dumb shit to my body because that's literally my normal
29:10
Speaker 2: operating system, and my normal cognitive, emotional, and psychological operating
29:15
Speaker 2: system is now very close to awareness and gratitude most
29:19
Speaker 2: of the time. The thing that I'm most scared about
29:23
Speaker 2: with my parents dying is their fear and their anxiety
29:30
Speaker 2: and their emotions around it. I'm not at all worried
29:34
Speaker 2: about me at all. I'm worried about when one of
29:37
Speaker 2: them goes, how the other one will be, because to
29:40
Speaker 2: see them emotionally distraught, that fucking kills me.
29:44
Speaker 1: That kills me because they've been together for what forty
29:48
Speaker 1: how many years?
29:49
Speaker 2: Dude?
29:49
Speaker 1: Sixty sixty years? Sixty four sixty four years?
29:53
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, imagine that, Like my dad, my dad is
29:57
Speaker 2: my mum's oxygen. My mum is my dad dad's oxygen.
30:01
Speaker 2: They are the definition of codependent and it's not unhealthy
30:06
Speaker 2: because for the most of the time it's good for them.
30:10
Speaker 2: Like they're in love. My mum and dad are in love.
30:13
Speaker 2: I don't tolerate each other. They fucking love each other.
30:17
Speaker 2: And that's an inspiration. But yeah, so there's the things
30:21
Speaker 2: that I really worry about. It's not oh, how will
30:24
Speaker 2: I be after this, it's how will mum be when
30:27
Speaker 2: dad goes? Or how will dad be when mum goes?
30:29
Speaker 2: And you know, the last week has been a real escalation.
30:32
Speaker 2: My dad's in care at the moment and he's gone
30:35
Speaker 2: from he's got you know, he's got arthritis, he's got
30:39
Speaker 2: Parkinson's disease, he's got diabetes, he's had multiple heart attacks,
30:43
Speaker 2: he's got heart issues, kidney issues, cognitive decline. It's not great. Right,
30:49
Speaker 2: there's it's not great. And in the middle of that,
30:54
Speaker 2: then mum's compromised as well, and trying to be the
30:58
Speaker 2: conduit in the mind of them when it's appropriate that
31:01
Speaker 2: is what they need, because what they need is and
31:04
Speaker 2: what I think necessarily will work. Sometimes I get in
31:10
Speaker 2: the way. Sometimes I'm the problem. So I'm trying to
31:13
Speaker 2: be very instinctive, intuitive, and compassionate to not be what
31:18
Speaker 2: they don't need and to be what they do need.
31:20
Speaker 2: And then the other complexity around this is that you
31:25
Speaker 2: get another two people who are both eighty seven years old.
31:28
Speaker 2: They need something totally different, even in the same situation.
31:32
Speaker 2: So this is where this instinctive, smarter than me intelligence
31:36
Speaker 2: that I can tap into because the process I'm going through,
31:40
Speaker 2: which is the same for everyone at some stage. I've
31:43
Speaker 2: never done this before. I've never had parents in this
31:46
Speaker 2: position before this. It's not like, oh, I've done this
31:48
Speaker 2: twenty times before. I know how to navigate this. So
31:52
Speaker 2: you're just trying to be present. And the question I
31:57
Speaker 2: asked myself is am I acting in love? And if
32:00
Speaker 2: I'm not acting in love or compassion or a version
32:02
Speaker 2: of love, then I need to pull myself up.
32:06
Speaker 1: Compassion is an interesting one because for someone who gives
32:10
Speaker 1: so much, you speak, you coach, your podcast, but the
32:14
Speaker 1: energy ratio is you giving to others, it's very rarely
32:18
Speaker 1: you getting from others. So it's good to hear about
32:20
Speaker 1: Vince and you made it come to the gym because
32:22
Speaker 1: you're getting energy from that. And you know the research
32:26
Speaker 1: on compassion fatigue, it's very high in first responders, vets,
32:32
Speaker 1: personal trainers, people who do everything for everyone else and
32:36
Speaker 1: then put their oxygen mask on last. So I've been
32:39
Speaker 1: thinking about that, like, what are you doing for self compassion?
32:42
Speaker 1: Because you've done the research on this, You study the research,
32:46
Speaker 1: we know when you're going through a really challenging time,
32:49
Speaker 1: having that self compassion is so so important. It sounds
32:53
Speaker 1: like you've got it what you were just saying to
32:54
Speaker 1: me before.
32:55
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you need to know you and what
32:59
Speaker 2: I know about me. Like, for example, it's four point
33:02
Speaker 2: thirty two, right, so we'll be done in ten or
33:04
Speaker 2: fifteen minutes, and my plan for the rest of the
33:06
Speaker 2: night is food and Netflix or something equally is mine
33:12
Speaker 2: numbing because it's Friday. I've smashed myself this week. I've
33:17
Speaker 2: got to coach someone at zero seven hundred tomorrow. I
33:21
Speaker 2: just know that unless I have a good sleep and
33:24
Speaker 2: good rest, and I need to self regulate and self
33:29
Speaker 2: manage when it's appropriate first, and I think that with everyone.
33:35
Speaker 2: I think put on your oxygen mark mass first. Look,
33:37
Speaker 2: there are times when you can't do that. I've had
33:40
Speaker 2: multiple phone calls at eleven o'clock at night where I'm
33:43
Speaker 2: literally asleep and I've got to get in my car
33:45
Speaker 2: within three or four minutes and drive up because you know,
33:49
Speaker 2: Dad's had two heart attacks, Mums had a heart attack,
33:52
Speaker 2: mums had two lots of cancer, different cancers, multiple surgeries.
33:56
Speaker 2: You know all that. But for the most part, which
33:59
Speaker 2: is most day, I need to recognize that. I like,
34:04
Speaker 2: if I'm straight After this jumped into another podcast that
34:08
Speaker 2: i'd maybe get through another one, but the one after
34:11
Speaker 2: that would be shit, because I'm just like, right now,
34:13
Speaker 2: I feel good. I'm with a friend that's comfortable. I'm good.
34:16
Speaker 2: But I don't want to bring anything substandard to your
34:19
Speaker 2: show or you or our time together. And I think
34:23
Speaker 2: what is relaxing and what is therapeutic varies from person
34:27
Speaker 2: to person. But some people going out to dinner with
34:30
Speaker 2: a bunch of friends and having three wines and you know,
34:33
Speaker 2: being in the middle of the mayhem and laughing and
34:35
Speaker 2: socializing is perfect for me. Not I don't. I don't
34:40
Speaker 2: like that. I like being with friends. I hate being
34:43
Speaker 2: in loud, noisy restaurants with twelve people and you can't
34:46
Speaker 2: hear what's going on, and everybody's trying to give me
34:49
Speaker 2: a beer, will make me eat the fucking tiramasoux or
34:52
Speaker 2: all these things. You know. It's like, I love you,
34:55
Speaker 2: but I don't. I don't eat that food, I don't
34:58
Speaker 2: drink that thing, and I don't I want to control
35:00
Speaker 2: what you're doing. I just want you to have a
35:02
Speaker 2: good time, so I'll sit here. I'll be fine. But
35:05
Speaker 2: it just different things work for different people, you know.
35:08
Speaker 2: I always give this example. One of my friends hates dogs,
35:12
Speaker 2: which I find fucking strange because who hates dogs?
35:14
Speaker 1: Get get rid of them?
35:16
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, right, Well they're actually traumatized and scared by dogs,
35:20
Speaker 2: so I kind of get it. But now you make
35:23
Speaker 2: that person lie on the floor and then have a
35:26
Speaker 2: dog come up and just be all over them, that
35:29
Speaker 2: person's cortisol, adrenaline, nora perneferent, heart rate, blood pressure, fucking
35:33
Speaker 2: nervous system, it's all going to be exploding in a
35:35
Speaker 2: bad way. Conversely, you have the exact same thing happen
35:41
Speaker 2: with someone who loves dogs, and our body produces the
35:44
Speaker 2: exact opposite effect. And so it's not about the thing,
35:49
Speaker 2: but rather the way that we relate to that thing.
35:52
Speaker 2: For some people, lying on a floor with dogs or
35:55
Speaker 2: a dog is literally therapeutic. For the next person it's stressful,
36:00
Speaker 2: which is why you know, it's not about can you
36:03
Speaker 2: line on the floor with a dog? It's not like
36:04
Speaker 2: does xanax work for you? It's not like how many
36:06
Speaker 2: hours sleep is the ideal amount? There's no fucking ideal
36:09
Speaker 2: amount because different people need different things. But we get
36:13
Speaker 2: presented in media and social media with this concept that
36:19
Speaker 2: we all need to have eight glasses of water a
36:21
Speaker 2: day or the equivalent. I'm like, well, I weigh one
36:24
Speaker 2: hundred and twenty kilos and she weighs forty five kilos.
36:29
Speaker 2: Why the fuck do we both need eight glasses? Or
36:33
Speaker 2: I or you.
36:35
Speaker 1: Don't roll over in the middle of the night because
36:36
Speaker 1: you will squash her.
36:39
Speaker 2: I don't weigh that. But do you know what I mean?
36:41
Speaker 2: It's just that these arbitrary things that get wheeled out
36:44
Speaker 2: as some kind of sure fire solution is just garbage,
36:49
Speaker 2: which is why we need to trust ourselves. Your body
36:52
Speaker 2: is a biofeedback system. There's a thing in science which
36:55
Speaker 2: you know, called interroception, and interroception is basically your body
36:59
Speaker 2: telling you you and not just on a biological or
37:02
Speaker 2: physiological level, but an emotional level, a psychological level, a
37:07
Speaker 2: cognitive level. Your body is always telling you stuff and
37:10
Speaker 2: it's definitely smarter than your mind, so it's telling your stuff.
37:15
Speaker 1: If you do what you've done, I think that's been
37:18
Speaker 1: the gift you've given today. Yeah, because we said let's
37:21
Speaker 1: have a chat and to talk about motivating the motivator
37:25
Speaker 1: because we all have different roles in our life, but
37:28
Speaker 1: everyone listening to this podcast has periods where they need
37:31
Speaker 1: to lift others. Now, it could be family, it could
37:34
Speaker 1: be colleagues, could be sporting team, could be community. But
37:37
Speaker 1: what's really come out today? And you just know the
37:39
Speaker 1: science the interception on that. But when it comes to
37:43
Speaker 1: dealing with difficult in our life, hearts. This is what
37:47
Speaker 1: I've learned the last few years. One size fits one. Yeah,
37:53
Speaker 1: that's good. That's a good title for it. That's a
37:55
Speaker 1: good title for a podcast.
37:57
Speaker 2: Dude. If you don't use that, I'm going to use it.
38:00
Speaker 1: Well, we can both use it. We'll share. And this
38:03
Speaker 1: one size fits all. Oh, my friend Doreen did this,
38:06
Speaker 1: and yet her parents are aging. And so Dorine findes
38:08
Speaker 1: that she eats lemons of the morning, she sticks to
38:11
Speaker 1: moccasin's on and puts the legs upside down, hasn't shaved
38:14
Speaker 1: the legs for six months, and that's.
38:15
Speaker 2: Worked for her.
38:16
Speaker 1: So you should do the same. Like that sounds a
38:18
Speaker 1: bit crazy. Do what works for you.
38:21
Speaker 2: I know, I know it's I know we've got to go.
38:24
Speaker 2: But who don't say, may or I'll punch you in
38:26
Speaker 2: the face. Who inspires you? For real?
38:32
Speaker 1: I've got a few different people, and some I do know,
38:34
Speaker 1: some I don't know. So the word mentor again the
38:38
Speaker 1: Latin word mentore to be like, there's people that I
38:42
Speaker 1: want to be like that I've never met.
38:44
Speaker 2: Hmm, that's interesting. Yeah, that's so try. I didn't even
38:47
Speaker 2: think of that. That's very true.
38:49
Speaker 1: So from a craft point of view, in different roles,
38:51
Speaker 1: there's podcasters that I haven't met that I look at
38:53
Speaker 1: and I go, oh wow, there's bits of them I'd
38:55
Speaker 1: like to be. In the performance psychology space, there's there's
39:00
Speaker 1: a couple of different psychologists or sports psychologists in the world.
39:03
Speaker 1: In the entrepreneurial business space, so yeah, I have a
39:06
Speaker 1: bunch and I tend to rotate. I feel my crazy
39:09
Speaker 1: backward speaking mind that you want to dig into and
39:12
Speaker 1: see what's going on with my brain cells. But I
39:15
Speaker 1: think about a board a table, and you've got a
39:18
Speaker 1: board with a whole bunch of people, and then they
39:20
Speaker 1: just sometimes come up when you need them. There's also
39:23
Speaker 1: two or three live people. Got Marty Shepherd from KPMG.
39:26
Speaker 1: He's the Asia Pacific chairman. Marty's great for business stuff.
39:30
Speaker 1: I can just sit down and literally go here it is.
39:33
Speaker 1: He goes, yeah, I got it. You told me enough,
39:35
Speaker 1: like what I told someone else thirty minutes. I tell
39:38
Speaker 1: Marty Tan show him a few pictures. He just cut
39:41
Speaker 1: to it, doesn't bullshit, doesn't gloss over it. He's been
39:46
Speaker 1: invaluable for me building businesses, but also just in life.
39:50
Speaker 1: And Mate Mario, like your mate, Vince Mario. I've known
39:54
Speaker 1: since I was at school, and he just cuts through it,
39:57
Speaker 1: good and bad. And as we've got older, we've got
40:00
Speaker 1: much much more comfortable just being really honest and open
40:04
Speaker 1: through the hearts and the lives.
40:07
Speaker 2: You know what I find sexy how some people think,
40:11
Speaker 2: guys and girls. I just like, sometimes I hear someone
40:15
Speaker 2: say something or explain something, or I'm like fuck, I
40:18
Speaker 2: like how they think. I want to think more like
40:21
Speaker 2: like just because it's so I don't know, there's something
40:24
Speaker 2: attractive about the way that some people see stuff and
40:29
Speaker 2: see life and navigate life. My last question for you,
40:32
Speaker 2: because it's now my podcast, is this.
40:34
Speaker 1: And before you before you ask that one, I call
40:36
Speaker 1: that an intellectual crush. And there's a bunch of people
40:39
Speaker 1: I have intellectual crushes on.
40:41
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's much better.
40:43
Speaker 1: Like that when you're young and you just got hormones,
40:45
Speaker 1: it's a young man's like, it's a physical crush. And
40:51
Speaker 1: my last hormone disappeared in the nineties, so I'm saving
40:54
Speaker 1: up for a new one. You're doing. You had a question, how.
40:57
Speaker 2: Do you know? How do you know when, like what
41:00
Speaker 2: happens in your body or your nervous system, or your
41:03
Speaker 2: mind or your heart when you realize, ah, I've got
41:06
Speaker 2: to chill out for a bit, I need to back off,
41:09
Speaker 2: or I need to take a day, a week, a month.
41:12
Speaker 2: What happens for you when your body or your whatever,
41:15
Speaker 2: your higher self whatever is telling you that you need
41:18
Speaker 2: to chill out and look after you a bit and
41:20
Speaker 2: stop rushing.
41:21
Speaker 1: Yeah, so to get a bit nerdy back on you.
41:23
Speaker 1: It's the nervous system regulation. And then I know it
41:26
Speaker 1: shows up in two different ways. So for me it's
41:29
Speaker 1: this you can see on the camera on anyone watching
41:31
Speaker 1: on YouTube. My shoulders come up. I notice that my
41:35
Speaker 1: stone o clido mastoids get really tight, and also the
41:39
Speaker 1: upper part of my traps. I feel it in my
41:41
Speaker 1: shoulders and I feel like I'm walking around tents. The
41:46
Speaker 1: other one for me, Harps with four kids, is the
41:49
Speaker 1: Saturday morning nine am test, and this is all about
41:52
Speaker 1: vagal tone. Hey, Archie, where's soccer at today? Mate's Liverpool Okay,
41:56
Speaker 1: that's a fifty minute drive. Yep. Okay, So you've got
41:59
Speaker 1: a nine am game, so we've got to leave here
42:01
Speaker 1: by seven point thirty. Got everything ready mate, yep. And
42:05
Speaker 1: then leading up to nine am, I can't he can't
42:07
Speaker 1: find his boots. What do you like if I find that?
42:10
Speaker 1: I snap and I become irritable on a Saturday Saturday morning.
42:13
Speaker 1: It's just a story, but generally it is the back
42:15
Speaker 1: of the week because I've been my best self for
42:18
Speaker 1: my clients and doing podcasts and launching programs, and then
42:22
Speaker 1: I'm an asshole from the family. So they're the two ones.
42:25
Speaker 1: One is physical and it's the riding of the shoulder girdle,
42:29
Speaker 1: and the second one is there's no buffer, so you know,
42:32
Speaker 1: you talk about that in Big De La Hijack. There's
42:35
Speaker 1: no pause between what Archie or what the kids are
42:38
Speaker 1: saying and then me just roaring at them. And then
42:41
Speaker 1: I just go, jeez, I'm not managing my nervous system
42:47
Speaker 1: during the week to enable me to do the most
42:50
Speaker 1: important job, ultimately, the most important job, which is to
42:53
Speaker 1: be a role model from my four kids and from
42:56
Speaker 1: a loving partner at home. So they're the two ones, mate,
42:58
Speaker 1: I notice that I'm a bit sure and shitty, and
43:01
Speaker 1: I'd never be like that with an executive from a
43:03
Speaker 1: large bank or a consulting firm. They'd sack you on
43:05
Speaker 1: the spot. Why are you such an asshole? Sometimes for
43:08
Speaker 1: your family?
43:09
Speaker 2: That's so interesting because some party you knows well what
43:14
Speaker 2: I can do this here. I can crack the shits
43:17
Speaker 2: in the car, but I can't crack the shits in
43:19
Speaker 2: this boardroom.
43:20
Speaker 1: Well you can, but you'll never come back.
43:23
Speaker 2: No, I just want to apologize to all your viewers
43:26
Speaker 2: because I forgot that I know this is video, but
43:29
Speaker 2: I forgot that you actually use the video. So for
43:32
Speaker 2: everybody who's watched me drink coffee and water simultaneously for
43:36
Speaker 2: the last hour, I apologize.
43:38
Speaker 1: You haven't scratched any parts of your anatomy that we're inappropriate,
43:42
Speaker 1: so we just let it go.
43:43
Speaker 2: I've been swinging on a leader of water and drinking
43:45
Speaker 2: caffeine in between, just to keep me cognizant so I
43:49
Speaker 2: can keep up with your giant brain harps.
43:52
Speaker 1: I'll say this on behalf of my small audience, and
43:56
Speaker 1: if you play this on your platform for your large audience,
44:00
Speaker 1: you are Did you get the massage voucher. I didn't
44:04
Speaker 1: where is that we sent you?
44:06
Speaker 2: You emailed it to me. Yeah, all right, well, thank you,
44:10
Speaker 2: thank you. That's I'm a I'm a massage fan. I
44:14
Speaker 2: was going to say another word, but you can it's
44:16
Speaker 2: it's a legitimate massage. Nothing untoward. This I'm not interested in. Then. No,
44:23
Speaker 2: do you know what's funny is I think I can
44:26
Speaker 2: say the brand? Can I say the brand? The company? Yeah,
44:28
Speaker 2: of course and dot to SPA And I don't want
44:33
Speaker 2: to give away where I live, but let's just say
44:35
Speaker 2: there's there's one very close to my house.
44:39
Speaker 1: Yes, Tiff told me.
44:41
Speaker 2: Ah ah, fucking sneaky Tiff.
44:45
Speaker 1: Sneaky Tiff.
44:46
Speaker 2: Yeah, so this is like a big coincidence. But well
44:51
Speaker 2: that's good, thank you mate. I will enjoy that. I
44:54
Speaker 2: will enjoy that massage like good massage, because there's some
44:58
Speaker 2: ship massage, but good man sage is just oh my god.
45:02
Speaker 1: But there's two things. You've got to rock up into
45:04
Speaker 1: that and don't to spar that happens to be in
45:06
Speaker 1: the suburb you live in. Yes, yes, And when you're
45:09
Speaker 1: doing it, just know there's a lot of people that
45:13
Speaker 1: love you. There's a lot of people that you've touched.
45:16
Speaker 1: There's thousands in your platform over the years. You were
45:20
Speaker 1: so generous when you met me when I had big
45:21
Speaker 1: hair and hoopiery and you said, come for a walk side.
45:24
Speaker 1: I went up and said, I've said this in another podcast,
45:27
Speaker 1: Craig and I'm Andrew my mon from Hobart. I love
45:30
Speaker 1: your talk and love to have a chat. And I
45:32
Speaker 1: probably said exactly what we were saying before. I love
45:34
Speaker 1: to have a conversation. Can I buy you a coffee?
45:37
Speaker 1: But you said, hey, I'm going to go and have lunch,
45:39
Speaker 1: come for a walk with me. Son, You've always been
45:40
Speaker 1: so generous. I know you're going through a hard time.
45:43
Speaker 1: We know you're going through a hard time. So when
45:45
Speaker 1: you have a massage, it's only a small token of appreciation.
45:48
Speaker 2: But just have a.
45:49
Speaker 1: Reflection and I will circle back. As you're having that massage.
45:52
Speaker 1: I want you to just know that there's so many
45:54
Speaker 1: people that appreciate you, love you, and we're thinking of
45:59
Speaker 1: your mate.
46:01
Speaker 2: You're a genuinely good person. Thank you, mate. I appreciate
46:04
Speaker 2: that I might even need it, so thank you. I
46:09
Speaker 2: need the love and I need the massage, so win win,
46:12
Speaker 2: tickety boo. I'm happy if you're a winner have always
46:15
Speaker 2: the time when we first met, I kind of like
46:18
Speaker 2: you can. I can read people pretty well. And you've
46:21
Speaker 2: always been genuine and generous, and you know, like not
46:25
Speaker 2: that you need to be, but you've always been grateful,
46:29
Speaker 2: which people aren't always grateful when you help them out
46:32
Speaker 2: a little bit. So you're most welcome and you've given
46:35
Speaker 2: me as much as I've given you, if not more. So.
46:38
Speaker 2: Thanks for letting me on your show. And shout out
46:42
Speaker 2: to all your listeners and peeps, and I hope they
46:46
Speaker 2: got something out of today.
46:48
Speaker 1: Yeah, always get something one size fits one. When you're
46:52
Speaker 1: going through a tough time, do what you need to
46:54
Speaker 1: do and get support. Knowhing should do this alone. Get support,
46:58
Speaker 1: get people around you. I feel like I'm having a
47:01
Speaker 1: therapy session. Now tell him I'm comfortable.
47:04
Speaker 2: Fuck it's getting hot in here again. Oh the only
47:07
Speaker 2: Child the alf A mile. Oh thanks Mite.
47:10
Speaker 1: All right, have a good weekend.