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Transcript

Whackhead Prank: Senseless survey – what number am I thinking? · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Here we go, Here we go.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Here is another senseless survey from Darren Wackhead Simpson on
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: KFM Mornings.
• 0:09
  Speaker 3: KFM Mornings.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Okay, get around some of the most important questions. You're
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: gonna hear, crucial, life changing I'll say that with my
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: tongue firmly in my cheeks. Okay, so it's a little
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: bit of fun. No more takers on the WhatsApp telephone.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: How many sens of survey questions? Well, I ask this morning, Sherlin.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Ten questions, ten serbs, eleven questions, eleven.
• 0:36
  Speaker 4: Remi seven questions, seven producer bread nine No is somebody right?
• 0:43
  Speaker 4: One of you is correct?
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: That's seven was interesting from you? Remies? Do you know
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: something we don't? No, I don't.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: No.
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  Speaker 4: You see all Remies noses the lenk.
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: So I always know.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: He's trying to guess, he tries to decipher.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: But how is that really because you never know what
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: this man is doing to the people on the other.
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: Side of the line.
• 1:05
  Speaker 4: Some questions are long, some questions are short.
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: And the length is a bit shorter than normal.
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: To some aren't even questions. Oh, someone just statements exactly right.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: Okay, This is where I call up a random person
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: and you get to win a small a big prize
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: from a small business in the Western Gap.
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: You know what we've got.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: We've got a an LG nine thousand BTU non inverter
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: back to back air con unit from Ocean Breeze air Conditioning.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: We've got that. That's a superprise. We've got a whole
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: bunch of things, restaurant marches, beauty pampers, ice cream, tickets
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: to all the stuff, all the shows in and around
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: Cape Town. We got it all. Okay, no more. Now
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: now it's time to get serious. Ye ask me the
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: real questions that need as king Luck who was in
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: charge of the visas for Bafana bafun.
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: Let's put that behind us. That person they're getting on
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: a plane today, let's focus on that.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: I'll tell you, for no prize money at all. That
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: person's getting fired.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: Today or promoted, I don't know.
• 2:20
  Speaker 4: Actually yeah, maybe they'll become the kit manager.
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: But we're focusing on the positive.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: But one thing that I know for sure is that
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: our president will start a Commission of inquiry naturally, which
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: is going to cost twenty five billion rand. It's going
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: to take six years and we will be no closer
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: to the truth, but it quells public dessent exactly, diverts attention.
• 2:58
  Speaker 4: Okay, so here the serious question.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: This is this morning's senseless survey.
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  Speaker 4: Good morning, and thank you for calling that charge.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: My name is Agent four three one. I'm calling you
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: from the Census Bureau. I need to just ask you
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: a few questions. Will only take about thirty seconds. It
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: does being called a hypochondriac make you feel sick? No?
• 3:22
  Speaker 4: Did you eat lots of garlic last night?
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: No? No, no, I didn't.
• 3:26
  Speaker 4: Wow, I can smell it on you.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: No, I know you can't. What's the name of your
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: smelliest friend? Are you going to wear that outfit today?
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: No?
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: What number am I thinking of? Twenty three?
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: Nah?
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: Seven?
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: Do you blame the hard divorce rate on the recent
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: popularity of eye surgery?
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: Sure of?
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: I say, no, no, no, no, I don't. Did you
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: know that Johannesburg spelt backwards? Says Cape Town.
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: Now, well what, No, it doesn't.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: Jog Oh, sorry, it's Johannesburg spelt backwards, says Blomfontaine.
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: No it doesn't. How do you throw away a trash?
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: Can you just throw it away?
• 4:29
  Speaker 4: You thush it in the can?
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: If I told you I was sending you a special tweet?
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: Would you assume I was really into social networking or
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: that I had a speech.
• 4:38
  Speaker 4: Impediment social networking? Are you at the age where you
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: prefer weed killer or killer weed?
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: That his last times you hung up away too late
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: for me?
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: Certain it's your birthday? I'm fitting is Bethel tweet? It
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: was silly, but dude, just what is this?
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: What is it?
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: But think about it?
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: You know, no, I don't want to which Johannesburg spelled
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: backwards is oats?
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  Speaker 4: And actually.
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  Speaker 3: No it's not.
• 5:24
  Speaker 4: And you know he had to think. End with the g.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: Zarah Larson with Midnight Sun Here on k for morning's
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: Brandon from Colstean Fontaine.
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: How's it, Brandon? How are your brother? All good things
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: are I'm very well.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: Thank you man, very well. Good Monday ahead of us here,
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: m hm, you're up for this Monday.
• 5:51
  Speaker 4: You're up for it?
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: Yep?
• 5:54
  Speaker 4: Good? The only way to work, way to work?
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: All right?
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Okay, let's been the will if you first give me
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: an answer, Brandon, how many sense of survey questions did
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: I ask?
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  Speaker 3: Then?
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  Speaker 4: Is a correct answer? Well done?
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: Excellent?
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: Okay, done into the championship Browns. You get to spin
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: the wheel of joy foster slow left or right? Slowly,
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: slow and left. Okay, let's see what you get and
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: remember what you get is what you get. And what
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: did you get? You have won yourself and H two
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: elevated hydrogen water bottle from Zennyworth worth two thousand, five
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: hundred and ninety nine rands.
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: Oh my, what down? That's fancy infuses water with dissolved
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: molecular hydrogen.
• 6:53
  Speaker 4: Whoa, what is that science? It's putting more H in
• 6:56
  Speaker 4: the two?
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: Oh oh, you're gonna look forever.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, well look it's it's all very healthy, and
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: it's all incredibly good for you.
• 7:10
  Speaker 4: And you know what, it's also very fashionable.
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: It's it's very cool.
• 7:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah, report back.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: Okay, so now the price. So now, Brandon, now you
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: can walk around with a water flows like a teenage girl.
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: We we are, we are, we are hydrated, our organs
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  Speaker 3: are healthy.
• 7:36
  Speaker 4: That's right, that's right.
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: Follow follow the lead of the young young girls.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: What's that? What's that other one? The Stanley you got?
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: You've got to Stanley? Well, I'm raising you an H
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: two elevated hydrogen.
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: Water bottle.
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: I have no clue, I'm.
• 8:00
  Speaker 4: I won't go google it. I won't lie. I have
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: no idea either.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: But it's now it's it's so, it's dissolved molecular hydrogen.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: So it turns your water from H too to H seven.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: Oh wow, yeah, I don't know if that's what they
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: say on the website.
• 8:17
  Speaker 4: I just made that up.
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: Don't listen to that and just enjoy your price.
• 8:21
  Speaker 4: And your water. Okay, Brandon, you take care of.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: My many Bye bye bye, there we go, and okay,
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: let's find out exactly what this is because I'm interested.
• 8:35
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• 8:41
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• 8:45
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• 8:49
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• 8:53
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• 8:58
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• 9:02
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• 9:05
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• 9:09
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• 9:13
  Speaker 2: by Science Cheers.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: Do you know you need it? You know you need
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: it okay. It is twenty three minutes after eight o'clock