Latest / Chatting with The Experts with Paula Okonneh / Empowering Women: Career Pivots and Personal Growth

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Empowering Women: Career Pivots and Personal Growth · Chatting with The Experts with Paula Okonneh

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Hello, hello, hello everyone, and welcome to another episode of Chatting
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with the Experts, with me the host, Paula Okonneh, where I speak with
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incredible women from Africa, from the Caribbean, and in the diaspora.
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These women are successful entrepreneurs.
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They're professionals who have and share with me mission of educating,
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empowering, and inspiring women globally.
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Today's episode is called Empowering Women to Soar, and my guest who will
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be joining me in a few minutes says, Elevate is your personal guide to clarity,
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confidence, and next level success.
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She says, whether you are reentering the workforce, pivoting industries,
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or launching your own venture.
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She'll help you through elevate, move forward with a purpose.
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So I'll tell you a bit about my guest.
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Ooh.
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So the speaker I have the privilege to introduce is a visionary educator, an
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empowerment strategist with over 20 years of experience transforming lives through
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mentorship, education, and leadership.
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She has dedicated her career to guiding women through career transitions,
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entrepreneurship, and personal growth, while also advancing digital equity
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and workforce development through innovative education programs.
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This speaker's expertise lies in mentorship, nonprofit leadership,
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and building transformative platforms that foster clarity, confidence,
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and purpose-driven success.
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She's also the founder of Elevate Mentoring Services and Quantum Studios
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Institute for Education and is a life long advocate for inclusive learning, youth
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development, and women's empowerment.
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Please help me.
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Welcome to Chatting with the Experts.
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Drum roll please.
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Phyllis Lacy.
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Hello.
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Hey Phyllis.
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Hi.
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That was quite an introduction.
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Thank you so much.
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Oh my word.
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Your bio is so impressive.
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I had to condense it.
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So I mean, and even that condensed version is so impressive.
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Thank you for saying yes to being a guest on Chatting with the Experts.
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Well, it's my pleasure to be here with you.
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Yeah.
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Absolutely.
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And we are gonna be talking about something that's dear to my heart and
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I know it's dear to yours as well.
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And that is empowering women to soar
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. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
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I think that there's no better moment in time than where we are right now,
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where it's so important for women to.
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Find themselves if they have to pivot from a career that they were once in, or if
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they're trying to start a new business, I would like to be that person that
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will help them to clarify and strategize on what the next step is for them.
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Let me put it to you this way.
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I, in my lifetime, you know, in a career, it's not just one thing that you're doing.
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It's becomes like a journey.
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You start off doing one thing and then before you know it,
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you're doing something else.
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It might be in the same career.
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And I think it's all about the vision you have for yourself.
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You can't stand still.
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No one's standing still.
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But if you have that vision for yourself, then you can start moving in
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a direction, in another direction and create for yourself other opportunities.
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I have met some young women recently who when I started mentoring them, I
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actually thought it was about one thing.
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It ended up being about something else.
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It could have been about them going into a divorce, you know, and they were like,
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you know, I really am thinking about this career move because I need more money.
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Mm-hmm.
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Okay.
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You need more money, you know, that's interesting.
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You know, it never occurred to me they were talking about divorce.
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And they were talking about a career change, a shift that
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was going to be monumental.
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And I helped 'em lay the groundwork.
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It's not about me.
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This whole thing is not about me, it's about the person that's sitting in front
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of me or on the computer with me and it's about, you know, giving them some
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direction, you know, on what it is that they feel as though they need to do.
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And then helping 'em figure out how to get there.
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And a lot of times...
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Go ahead, go ahead.
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And a lot of times it's really emotional.
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It's very emotional, you know, you're dealing with giving the
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emotional and mental support along the way and letting them know that.
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This is something they can do.
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And one thing that's my famous little tagline is, you're enough you can do this.
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And figuring out, you know, as we move towards that end that they are enough.
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I use that all the time.
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I say, you are enough.
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And they'll look at me and they'll be like, buying into
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it slowly, buying into it.
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You know, you get this aha moment and you're saying, okay what tools do
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you have in your toolbox right now?
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Okay.
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These are all the things that help them to see that they're valued.
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You know, it's like, like their jewelry box.
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Okay, let me open up what are some of my practical tools and what are some of
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the resources I have or what tools do I need to develop in order to get me there?
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And I can look at them and talk with them and say them, well, you got it all.
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You know, let's just figure out a way to put it together to make it
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work for you so that you can move on.
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And it doesn't necessarily take a long period of time, it's just people figuring
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out that they can do it, you know?
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They can do it.
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They got the tools that they can do it.
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Let's figure out where it is you're going, whether or not it's a new job
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or it's a new career, or if it's an opportunity to start a new business.
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And that is what I like.
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Absolutely love it.
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Mm-hmm.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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That is, you know, you know, I'm looking at you and you may not, of course,
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you may not be looking at yourself the way I'm looking at you, but you know.
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You said it doesn't always have to be difficult because...
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No, it's not difficult.
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You know, you're more than enough.
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You are enough.
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You're enough.
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You're enough just where you are because by the time you get to, even in your
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twenties, you gotta life experiences that you bring, and anytime that you
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go forward with something, whether it's a, like I said, a career or an
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opportunity to start a new business.
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You are bringing with you experiences that you've had for at least 20 years.
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It's just how you package them, how you put it together, how you utilize them
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in order to get you to the next level.
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And sometimes you just need someone.
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That can empower you to utilize what you already have to make that first step.
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And then you possibly could need some training.
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Everybody can use a little training, you know?
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Mm-hmm.
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It doesn't necessarily mean it's gonna be like a six-month course.
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It could be like a two-day, you know, something.
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You know, whatever it is, we don't know what it is until we talk about it.
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And then all of a sudden you realize I don't need anything.
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You know?
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Oh, I remember I did something with that once upon a time.
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I know how that goes.
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You know, so you say, okay, you got those tools.
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Everyone needs to figure out that that they're valued.
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You know, everybody has to figure out how to value themselves.
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And, I would like to think of the role that I play is a role that enlightens
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people to look at themselves differently.
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You know, we come here to each other, we come and sit down with one another.
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Everyone sees something different.
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You know, when you look at me, you see something.
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When I look at you, I see something.
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And wouldn't it be nice if someone would actually tell you what they're seeing?
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Yes, yes, yes.
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Sometimes people...
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And that's what Elevate does.
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You know, that's what I do, is I try to empower people by giving them
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the tools that they need by telling them what I see and what I think you
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need to do to get to the next level.
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I love that.
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I love that.
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I love that there's something you said earlier on about, you know, when we
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are still talking about that you are enough, especially for young people
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who may not see that, you know, the 20 years they have lived, 25 years
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they've lived, that they've actually been acquiring some experiences, some
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knowledge, something that they can use.
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And you mentioned the toolbox, but you tell them to look in their toolbox
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because there's something there that they can pull out and use whatever
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the situation that they may be in.
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So, with that, it made me think of something that we discussed
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earlier on about vision.
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Vision as a catalyst for growth.
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You know, I see it looking in the toolbox.
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You must have vision to look in.
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It's a form, you know, you're looking there, you're using your vision.
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How can we talk about that?
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Well, when you talk about like, okay, so, you know, some people I
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was looking at my son was telling me he had a new vision board.
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Mm-hmm.
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Okay.
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So some people actually have to have it in front of them.
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Mm.
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You know, to see where they're going.
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And then some people have it like right in here.
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They got it right up here.
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They actually see for themselves.
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So you have to envision, somehow we have to envision our next step.
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And I like to think that by going over your life, you know, going over the
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things that you've experienced and what your expertise has been in getting over
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that mountain, a lot of times will let you know that you have the strength it
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is to do that next thing, whatever it is.
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I don't, you know, we could say, you know, you're a young person and you're
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coming outta undergraduate school and you say, I wanna be a brain surgeon.
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Well, let me think about this,
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but even if it were someone that's coming outta school and says
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I've just finished my dentistry.
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You know, I'm a dentist now and no one in my family's a dentist.
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I wanna open up an office.
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I wanna do this.
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Okay, so how are we gonna do this?
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Okay.
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What are your options?
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You know, for doing this because some young people don't know what
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the next step would be to do that.
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They've gotten a degree, they don't know what they, someone told me I could
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join the military and they will help pay for my start, you know, jumping
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off, you know, someone said, okay, let's sit down and think about this
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because we want you to be successful and we don't want you to fall into the
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wrong hands where you owe people money.
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What is the next best step for you to get you to the next level?
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That's real concrete.
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Okay.
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That's something that's, you know, that's a plan that many people have taken that
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road to opening up a business, they can do it through a couple of different ways.
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And then you're talking about something that's been in the workforce for maybe 20
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years and they're really ready to pivot.
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So it's a little different, a lot more difficult to get them to envision
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themselves doing something different.
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You have to lay in front of them those things that they
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value and help them strategize.
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You know, I say, you know, you got a career strategy.
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You got them.
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You gotta deal with their emotional and mental support.
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You gotta help them craft some tools in their toolbox.
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And then you have to talk about personal growth and empowerment.
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I talk about a lot of different things and I believe in doing my research.
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You know, I don't think that there's one set of tools for every person.
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I believe that every person is different, and if I'm looking at
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you and you're trying to make a pivot in some form or fashion, let's
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just say 20 years into your career,
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it's gonna have to be something that you're gonna have to stick with,
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hopefully for at least a couple years because we pivot all the time.
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We change all the time.
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I remember in my career, I started off as a teacher.
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I said, there's gotta be more to being an educator than this.
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And I talk about following the footsteps of someone that's come before us.
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And I remember listening to other teachers talk about working
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for the state of Virginia.
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That's where I was teaching.
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And they talked about working for the State Department, you
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know, and what were they doing?
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You know, this is like a volunteer, something that they were talking about.
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I did my research, found out what it was, wrote a letter to them, and
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they invited me to sit on the board.
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That opened up so many doors for me and opportunities, and I said to
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myself, everyone needs to be able to have their ear to the ground,
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listen to what other people are talking about, figure out a path for
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themselves to do something different.
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I was still a teacher, but it opened up a lot of other doors that may
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not have been open had I not been aware of what opportunities were out
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there, because no one's gonna tell you, you gotta do some research.
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Yes, you've got to do some research.
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You gotta do some your research.
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And I remember once I was on that board for a while, the person who
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was the head of the arts in Fairfax County where I was working, they
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nominated me for Teacher of the Year because I was doing a lot of work.
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I was doing a lot of work.
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I started planning the convention for the State of Virginia, the
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convention they had for the teachers.
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And it was just like, you are doing so much that we've gotta recognize
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you for what you're doing for us, for Northern Virginia, Fairfax County.
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So sometimes,
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having a dream that's bigger than yourself, where you are right now is
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what you need is you need someone to sit with you and say, you know, you're
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doing this, but have you ever thought of, you know, what is it that you wanna do?
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Have you ever thought of the stepping stones that's gonna take to get you there?
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That you may have to do some volunteer work, that you may have to watch
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how other people are doing things?
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You know, in order to figure out how you're gonna do that yourself,
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volunteer is not a bad thing.
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You know, it also helps you measure yourself up against other people.
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Am I getting through the people or people liking what I'm saying and how I'm acting?
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You know, no one thinks of volunteering as an opportunity to get experience leading.
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And because not everybody's gonna let you lead just 'cause you wanna be a leader.
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There's something I do want to ask you and you know, your business
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is called, you are the founder.
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Elevate.
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Elevate.
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Elevate.
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Elevate.
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I love that.
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I love the, and I know when we met offline.
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About two weeks ago, we talked about community being part of, you know,
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your elevation tools and mentorship being part of your elevation tool.
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Let's, I mean, can you give us some tips on how to use
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mentorship and community as a tool?
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Oh, wow.
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So, okay.
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So mentorship is important for so many reasons.
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There are people already out there doing the same thing that you wanna do.
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Mm-hmm.
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Okay?
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So even if you follow behind someone or allow, you know, they allow you to
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walk with them in their field and see how they do things and show you how
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to do it, doesn't mean that you've gotta do it exactly the way they do it.
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Say that again, because some people think you have to do exactly what you've seen.
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I think it's important to, to ride it out, to do what they're doing and to
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follow through with the directions, because when you're following through
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with how they tell you to do something, if they're telling you, you know that
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let's say you're a master chef and you're, you've already gone through the
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school and everything and you're falling behind how they're doing something.
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They're doing cajun food or whatever.
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In doing what they do as they've done it, something could go off in your mind
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and say, yeah, they did it this way.
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But I see an opportunity to do a little differently after
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you've done what they've done.
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And a good mentor, once you get started under their wing, they will look for
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you to do something a little different.
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They don't want you necessarily copying them.
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They wanna see you expound upon it, you know, take off
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and do something more with it.
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And that's what that's all about.
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So you kind of go along with them for a while, you kind of follow behind them, and
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then all of a sudden, boom, you explode.
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That's the part.
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That's more...
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Explode then you elevate.
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That's right.
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That's what the mentor wants to see of you.
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You know, and I...
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Let's talk about community.
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And then that's community too, you know, and then you'd start
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developing a community of people that you work alongside with.
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Yeah.
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There are different communities.
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Someone was sharing with me, okay, so you wanna find yourself . Well, some
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people believe in going to church.
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Some people believe in joining other organizations , whether or
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not it's your community organization or you're in a biking club or
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whatever, you have a community.
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Just because you're riding a bicycle with other bikers doesn't mean you're not
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gonna learn something other than biking.
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Mm-hmm.
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I like that.
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And from talking with these people, these people could be leaders in their own
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regard, you know, in their own businesses.
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As soon as you share something about yourself, somebody's gonna say, Hey, you
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know, let me share this about myself.
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Let me give you some more tools to help you to elevate yourself
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where you wanna go, you know?
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So community means that you are coming together with other
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like-minded people for that moment.
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Biking, for instance, and once they get to know you, they will share with you.
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So I tell people all the time, I am just one vessel.
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There are so many other people out there.
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You need to join this or you need to go to this.
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You need to see what this is about.
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That will help you because.
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Eventually someone's gonna share something.
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That's how we grow.
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Okay?
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Those are one of the tools that is something that you're gonna learn
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to value, because more times than none, I take what I tell other
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people and I use it for myself.
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So when I go out, when I leave out, you know, someone invites me to something,
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to an event or something, I'm going there not looking for someone to give
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me information, but I know it's coming.
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I know I'm gonna learn something and that's something I'm gonna impart on
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somebody else someday that's gonna help to get them to their next level.
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We are community, and I value community, you know?
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Yeah.
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A question I also have for you is like Elevate.
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There's a reason you chose Elevate, a reason that you are talking
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about Empowering Women to Soar that's the title of a show today.
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Are there any acronyms that we get from Elevate Empower?
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I'm just, this is just me going with that.
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, V-A-T-E.
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I think it's enhancement.
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I think it's an enhancement.
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Enhancement.
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Empowering, enlightening.
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I like that.
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What else is it?
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Oh.
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I think it's an opportunity to align your strengths and passions.
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You know, when you elevate you're looking to going another direction,
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and maybe it's upward, you know, maybe it's becoming better or richer.
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Richer, not necessarily of money, but richer in the regard
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of adding more to yourself.
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You know, and it is funny, you know, when I talk about enrichment,
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it has nothing to do with money, but I do believe money can follow.
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Okay.
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But, to elevate yourself is to take yourself to another level that you
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may not even have seen for yourself.
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'cause I know that , the people that I've worked with... , there was
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this young woman that I worked with.
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And she talked about her first job was, she had a pretty powerful job.
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I don't wanna say too much about it, but she had a pretty powerful job.
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And when she became pregnant, her and her husband were starting a family, she said I
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had to get out of that because it was just too much work and it was too stressful.
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And she became a makeup artist.
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And then she said, okay, I've been this makeup artist made good money for years.
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I'm ready to get back into the business world.
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Mm-hmm.
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And I wanna do this, and this.
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She was telling me what she wanted to do and , I said, okay.
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I said, , well if I think she wanted to work for one of the major tech companies,
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and she even showed me a film that they were talking about this new career
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opportunity where you could make like $150,000 a year if you get this six
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month training course and this whatever.
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I said, okay.
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I said, well, I think that the experience that you had is definitely
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gonna help you get to the next level.
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Do you think you can go back and get a job similar to that?
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And then once you take this class because of that experience you have,
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they will put you in a position to be accepted by this tech company to do
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this new job because of this old job.
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And she said, yeah, that makes sense.
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So she was smart.
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She didn't really need me, but I helped her work through some things and
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vision for herself this new opportunity.
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Mm-hmm.
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Within a month she called me, she says, I just got a job making over a hundred
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thousand dollars a year doing something similar to what I used to do, but it's
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also has a little technology in it.
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So when I finished taking this course, I'll be in the position to make.
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I was like, wow.
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She did it.
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I was like, oh my goodness.
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Well, before I knew it, she had gotten... we talked about resumes and things
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like she had found someone that could cater her resume to the government, the
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government standards of creating a resume.
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The next thing I knew, she had 15 job interviews with the government.
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15 or more.
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Wow.
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It might've been more, she had a lot of it.
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She was like and this one didn't pan out, but this one didn't
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pan out, but this one did.
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I got a second interview.
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She was going through it all, and all of a sudden she had the job.
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This was during that turbulent time where right now people were getting fired, but
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she got the job and she kept the job even.
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Wow.
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That's a story.
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Sometimes it just needs someone to, huh.
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That's a success story, I'm saying.
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Yeah, sometimes we just need someone to talk us through some of the steps.
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Talk about some of the things that you've done.
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Okay?
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Nothing that you have done in your life is not worthy of looking back
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at, you know, look back over your life and some of the things that
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you've done that were successful and use them to propel you forward.
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You know, and she was like, oh, you know, that was, you know, she had her.
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I said, just look at it.
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Get yourself ready, because that was a powerful job you had.
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No journey is ever wasted.
25:52
You and I spoke about that earlier on.
25:54
Yeah.
25:54
Prior to coming on.
25:56
Yeah.
25:56
No journey.
25:57
No matter how bumpy, no matter how smooth, every part of the journey is
26:02
worthwhile, even if not for yourself.
26:05
It's also for others where you can share what you've done and
26:09
empower them, encourage them, inspire them to do even more.
26:14
Right.
26:14
Because you've walked that journey.
26:16
Like I said, you are good enough right now.
26:21
You know, let's just look at ourselves.
26:23
Yes.
26:24
And find the value in what you've done and help propel you forward.
26:31
You know?
26:32
That was such a good story, Phyllis.
26:34
Can you believe it ? We are almost 30 minutes into the show, but
26:37
I want you to talk about, that was such a good story there.
26:40
I really want you to talk about some victories.
26:43
I know you say no part of the journey's ever wasted.
26:46
Do you have a story in which you could talk about how we should celebrate
26:50
victories no matter how small they may be, and even if they get big?
26:56
Do I have a story where somebody should celebrate?
27:01
Is that what you're saying?
27:02
Somebody should.
27:02
I'm saying yeah, I know that, you know that story you gave just now about that
27:06
young lady who had such a powerful job and then had to because of maternity,
27:11
having a baby, she had to leave for a while, but you were able to s show her
27:15
that was not a waste being at home.
27:17
No, it wasn't.
27:18
Or not working or doing something other than her high power job,
27:23
could still be used as a pivot.
27:25
Right.
27:26
To get into, you know, so I'm just talking about victories.
27:30
I know we talked about celebrating victories offline, big or small, right?
27:35
Ooh, celebrating victories.
27:39
, I find that sometimes we have to look at our own personal growth.
27:44
It doesn't necessarily have to be job related.
27:47
It just has to be about us.
27:50
And we go through as humans or as women, we go through a lot of situations
28:00
and some of the situations we go through that could be heart-wrenching.
28:08
When we come out the other end, we realized we had to go through
28:12
it in order to be ready for the next thing, whatever the next
28:17
thing is going to be in our lives.
28:19
You know, whether you are a spiritual person or not, you know, some people
28:23
say it's God that has prepared me for what I'm going through now.
28:28
Or if you're not a spiritual person, it's just the way life is set up, you know?
28:33
It's like we're climbing that staircase and we have to have been there in
28:38
order to get to where we're going.
28:42
I know for myself, I can say that the naïveté that I may
28:50
have had when I was younger,
28:54
the way that things were revealed to me did not change or make me bitter.
29:04
It made me better.
29:06
It was like, oh, okay, so this is how life is.
29:09
Okay.
29:10
But I'm not going to become this person that no one likes or I don't like
29:17
just because people act like this.
29:20
I believe that for myself or personal growth, I have to show
29:25
people how to be better, you know?
29:28
And I remember teaching in the county and people look at you and
29:35
see you not as you see yourself.
29:40
You know, so if you have pretty good self-esteem, you know,
29:44
we've all gone through stuff.
29:45
If you've got pretty good self-esteem what you're doing?
29:48
You think you're doing a good job, and then there's people next
29:51
to you that don't want you to believe you're doing a good job.
29:57
I say to people, keep going because eventually you are going to see, you're
30:03
gonna turn around and see you were doing a good job just doing whatever it is.
30:11
Even if you made a mistake, you make, everybody makes mistakes.
30:15
You are doing a good job.
30:17
So there is growth in being steadfast, in being deliberate in planning for your
30:25
future in looking at the small things that you do and saying, I'm gonna keep
30:32
doing it this way because it's good.
30:34
You know, just good.
30:35
Not necessarily I, you know, I might make mistakes.
30:38
It may not be perfect, but I'm doing it for the right reasons.
30:42
You know, it's not all about me.
30:44
And when you get through it, when you get through all the stuff that
30:48
comes along with it, you see that God was setting you up, somebody was
30:54
setting you up for the next thing.
30:56
You know, I don't know if that's what you mean, but that's how I see it.
31:01
Celebrating every moment.
31:03
Every moment, believing in yourself.
31:05
And then when you get to the end and you say, oh my God, I did it.
31:10
I did it.
31:10
You know?
31:11
Yeah.
31:12
Yeah.
31:12
So, you know, we are gonna continue this with our interactive
31:16
audience who have joined us.
31:17
But for those later who are watching this on YouTube or listening to it on Spotify,
31:24
Apple Podcasts, or wherever, how can people get in touch with you, Phyllis?
31:30
Okay.
31:30
, they can get in touch with me by sending me an email
31:34
Mm-hmm.
31:35
At phyllis@elevateempowerment.com
31:38
. Yeah.
31:39
This
31:43
is, you know, this is a new journey for me.
31:45
I have done so much in mentoring over the years, and to take it and turn
31:51
it into a business has been pure joy.
31:56
But it is.
31:57
I see it.
31:57
I love it.
31:58
I see it in your face and your website.
32:00
I'll drop it in the chat.
32:01
Is elevateempowerment.com?
32:03
Yes.
32:04
Correct?
32:04
Yes.
32:05
Because you said Elevate.
32:06
Yeah.
32:06
Alright.
32:07
What about LinkedIn?
32:07
Are you on LinkedIn?
32:09
Yes.
32:10
My LinkedIn handle, I'll let you put it in later on.
32:14
I'll give it to you.
32:14
I'll put it in the chat.
32:15
Okay?
32:16
Yeah.
32:16
Alright.
32:16
Yeah.
32:17
Wow.
32:18
I love all the women and the few men that join me every week because I learn a lot.
32:24
I learned so much from you today, Phyllis.
32:27
And so, again, for those who have, who are following me, I
32:32
invite you to join me every week at 1:00 PM Eastern Standard Time.
32:37
To meet not just with my interviewee, but also to meet
32:40
with the audience that joins us.
32:43
But I do want you to know that if you'd like to be a guest on Chatting
32:46
with the Experts, just as Phyllis has been, reach out to me on my website,
32:50
which is chattingwiththeexperts.com.
32:53
I am on LinkedIn as Paula Okonneh.
32:57
I'm also on Instagram.
32:59
My handle is at chat_experts_podcast.
33:05
And I'm on Facebook as Paula Okonneh.
33:09
We also have a YouTube channel.
33:11
Please subscribe and check us out.
33:13
We have, oh my gosh, so much value, so much content there.
33:19
All from women from Africa, the Caribbean, and in the diaspora, sharing their wisdom
33:25
and their knowledge with women globally.
33:30
And so I'm blessed every single week learn something new from these women and I have
33:36
to acknowledge the men that do join us.
33:39
So now we are gonna open up the floor to all who joined us live so that they
33:45
can talk directly with you, Phyllis, and ask you any questions that I
33:51
might have left out while talking with you and also to share whatever they
33:57
may have learned among themselves.
34:00
Thank you again, Phyllis, for saying yes to being a guest
34:04
on Chatting with the Experts.
34:07
Thank you for having me.