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Wendigos / No Survivors · The Danger Zoo

0:02
Password accepted. Welcome to the Danger Zoo.
0:08
Welcome everybody to the Danger Zoo.
0:10
The Department of Anomalous and non human genetic entities,
0:13
Reconnaissance and zoological Occult operations.
0:17
We had somebody comment that we should find a Wendigo on one of
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the YouTube channels. So that is what we're doing.
0:22
So if you want to see us fight a Cryptid or a horror or a monster
0:25
of some sort, or you have an idea for an episode, put it in
0:28
the comments. Or if you want to tell us how
0:30
shitty we are, you can also put that in the comments.
0:33
But we're fighting a Wendigo today, boys.
0:35
Are you guys ready? I am so yeah, yeah.
0:41
Oh, good news. We'll go ahead and put this in
0:42
here, pretty Kitty. You now have two stat points to
0:46
put anywhere you want on your stats.
0:49
Hell yeah. So where do you want them so I
0:51
can update your sheet? I guess I'll go with Chrisma
0:55
since that's really low. Are you putting both in
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Charisma? Yeah.
1:00
You just got a whole lot cuter, Sir.
1:02
I'm. Going to be able to rizz up a
1:05
van if I want to. Said you're now a +1.
1:12
All right, so the back story. The Wendigo myth originates from
1:15
an Algonquian speaking peoples describing A gaunt and monstrous
1:19
creature born from cannibalism, starvation, and winter madness.
1:23
In the case specifically, we're looking into the creatures
1:26
believed to be the twisted remains of Jedediah Deadeye Row,
1:30
a legendary pioneer and mountain man who vanished in 1872 while
1:34
leading a doomed expedition over the Rockies.
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Known for his uncanny survival skills and violent reputation,
1:40
Deadeye was last seen heading toward a snow choked pass with
1:43
12 men and only he was ever seen again, Stumbling into town gaunt
1:48
and silent, then vanishing once more.
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Rumors claimed he'd made a deal with something ancient in the
1:53
snow. His cursed bloodline allegedly
1:55
stretches back to the occult rituals practiced by colonial
1:58
witch cults in Massachusetts. So, Wendigos.
2:03
Fuck yeah. The intern knows a little bit
2:05
about wendigos, so if you guys need particular information you
2:07
can ask him. Yeah, when this got brought up,
2:10
I was like, hey, I kind of know a little bit of this, so we'll
2:13
see how that goes. Fuck yeah.
2:15
Misha start mission code name cold hunger location mountain
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Logan ski lodge Rocky Mountain Colorado objective Investigate
2:28
killings around the abandoned ski lodge Eliminate possible
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Wendigo threat Learn why the veil has agents in this region.
2:35
So that's another thing. So we're aware of the veil
2:39
again. Yes, the winding Mountain Rd.
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narrows as snow flurries begin to thicken, clinging to the
2:44
cracked asphalt and whispering against the windshield like dry
2:47
bones across glass. Tall Pines loom on either side.
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They're black trunks cutting up the overcast sky like skeletal
2:54
fingers, Shadows stretched long across the ground, broken only
2:57
by the faint crunch of tires and frost hardened gravel.
3:00
And then the trees part, and the Clear Ridge Ski Lodge comes into
3:04
view as the snow cat rolls up to the parking lot.
3:07
We showed up in a snow cat. The parking lot is only lightly
3:11
covered in snow, recent tire tracks already starting to fade.
3:13
A few abandoned cars set off to the side, dusted in frost but
3:16
clearly not rusted or long forgotten.
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A few scattered cones mark off parts of the lot here and there,
3:22
cutting off walkways and railings.
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Bright yellow police tape fluttered gently in the wind.
3:26
There's been some recent murders, so that's why the lodge
3:29
is shut down. But the lodge is pristine, well
3:32
maintained, freshly shuttered and eerily still.
3:35
It's massive A-frame structure towers over the hillside like a
3:38
sleeping giant. Cedar siding catches the last
3:41
light of day in warm tones. Rows and windows glint coldly
3:44
but remain unbroken. No lights shine from within, but
3:48
backup security floodlights are mounted along the eaves, set on
3:51
motion sensors. Keep that in mind, One clicks on
3:55
as the wind brushes a nearby tree.
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It casts sharp, exaggerated shadows across the steps,
3:59
briefly illuminating a streak of red staining the snow beneath
4:03
the front stair rail. Old blood, long frozen.
4:07
All right outside the main lodge there, you see, there's a
4:10
temporary research camp. It has been erected.
4:13
Hey. Hey, hey.
4:14
Three canvas tents are stacked against the wind.
4:16
Inside, plastic bins are stacked under tarps, some still sealed,
4:20
others open and half unpacked. A generator rumbles softly
4:23
beside them, it's low hum rising and falling beneath the gusts of
4:26
mountain wind. A camp chair lies overturned
4:29
nearby, buried. Look, there's a cork board in
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the middle of one of the tents. Behind the lodge, the ski slopes
4:36
dips into thick woods. Just below the tree line, a
4:39
faint trail veers off into untouched snow, leading towards
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a cocky leading towards a rocky. Outfitting that's.
4:48
Just talking bad. Shit.
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Fairly visible in the fading Barely visible in the fading
4:53
light is the dark mouth of a cave, low, jagged, out of place.
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As you exit the snow cat, the wind dies down, as if to greet
5:00
your presence with unnerving calmness.
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Everything is still like the mountain is holding its breath,
5:06
waiting to see who makes the first move.
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God damn it's cold out here. So this is the winderger or this
5:15
is a picture of a Wendigo? Well, I thought you said
5:18
something else. Winnebago.
5:19
Yo. That's a Winnebago.
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So here's where we pulled up the parking lot, where in the
5:24
southeast quadrant of it, you can see the tents from the
5:28
scientists and you see a lodge here.
5:30
What are we doing, gentlemen? Definitely not forgetting to get
5:35
my dice. Oh shit, for sure, for sure all.
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Right, everyone, go ahead and pull up whatever dice you need
5:42
to pull up. I've got I've got my Internet
5:45
dice right here. Good call.
5:47
Good call, Sir. Completely.
5:51
I'm not going to lie, I didn't have my dice ready either.
5:58
All right, boys, what are you doing?
6:02
Investigate the camp. Yeah.
6:05
Yeah. So we're heading towards.
6:07
The camp. I agree.
6:09
Towards the. Camp.
6:09
We're almost on top of the damn camp.
6:12
Somebody steps on a Polish shit. No, just me, OK.
6:20
I mean, if that's what you want to do, I guess go.
6:23
You roll a gnat 1. Yeah, Chris.
6:26
Can I roll to avoid this Polish shit?
6:30
There's not a Polish shit, You created that.
6:33
You shit and then you slipped in your own shit.
6:37
Oh shit. Here.
6:40
Pretty kid. He's pulling his pants up.
6:41
I don't. Know isn't that ironic all?
6:46
Right, So what are we doing? I roll a 15 to investigate the
6:49
camp. I I stand in the middle and I
6:52
look around. So you see.
6:56
It's the 15, all right. You see on the cork board it
6:59
says you see a pins map with satellites and little markings
7:07
all over it and straight heat signatures that have been marked
7:10
on the map leading from The Cave to the tents and then to the
7:15
lodge itself. At one corner of the map just
7:20
writes sightings N tree line. Sweet.
7:25
So at this point, we know we know something's coming from The
7:28
Cave, right? So we already know that now,
7:30
yeah. Let's hope.
7:34
We're smart enough to go. Oh man.
7:39
What's that thing over there? Can I roll to investigate the
7:45
campsite and anything around it like within the brown ground
7:51
area? Within the campsite, yeah.
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Roll what kind of just perception?
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Yeah, hold on. Please you went what am.
8:00
I Oh God. Yeah, it's just a six.
8:03
Yeah, now you just, you see stuff.
8:05
What about you, Hazy? Oh.
8:09
You want me to roll? All right, one second.
8:10
What am I rolling? No, I'm asking what you're
8:12
doing. Are you doing perception?
8:14
What? Are you doing?
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I want to do the same thing, see if I can find some.
8:16
Go. Ahead and roll. 20.
8:19
Oh shit. I'm asking you.
8:21
I'm asking you. Yeah, D20.
8:25
Oh fuck me man, this is my luck again, A1.
8:31
A1. So yeah, a literal one.
8:34
Pieces. OK, so you approach a table that
8:38
seems to have a bunch of writings and documents on it,
8:41
and as you go to like lean on the table to read them, you
8:45
accidentally slide them off into the fire.
8:47
And the fire is still going, and it immediately sets a blaze to
8:50
all the paperwork that was on that one table you were looking
8:53
at. Good job.
8:56
And our but. There goes half the story.
9:00
There goes our evidence. So.
9:05
Look over there, pretty Kitty. And he's over there, just taking
9:06
his shit, just staring at you, shaking his head.
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So my bad guys, I'm going to assume, let's just assume that
9:17
was not important shit that just went into the fire.
9:19
Let's just go ahead and write that off.
9:21
Oh, it's important shit, all right.
9:25
You don't actually have to shit, you know that, right?
9:29
I'm not. Sure, I promise.
9:30
Trying his best. OK.
9:34
Oh fuck all. Right.
9:35
What else? Are we doing or wait, wait,
9:39
wait. Can we get your drone to do a
9:41
scouting of the area to see if anything's here or not?
9:46
I didn't send my drone out. You didn't.
9:49
Is it because I broke it from like two months ago?
9:53
No, it's not that you broke it. I just didn't come up on this
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one. I'm I'm busy.
9:59
Oh, OK, cool, cool. So who are you?
10:01
Who are you? Why are you talking?
10:02
Are you just like a a voice in our head?
10:05
I'm in the truck. You guys have radios?
10:09
Oh, that's right, I forgot you've only been here one time.
10:12
Also, just for you guys to understand and for the listeners
10:15
to understand, the levelling in the Cryptid hunt is very
10:19
different from almost any RPG that I've seen so far.
10:23
Skills and feats only come due to storyline stuff, so guys only
10:29
are going to get stuff depending on how they run the story.
10:32
Every five monsters is when they're going to get two
10:35
additional points to add to their stats.
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Pretty Kitty, he's the only one here with five monsters under
10:39
his belt, counting this one, so that's why he got he has two
10:42
addict additional stats. He added to Charisma because he
10:45
got tired of looking ugly. He did get cute.
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Yeah, you're glowing. All right, so you guys have you
10:52
guys have investigated the centre part here where you found
10:55
the corkboard? Pretty Kitty looked at the box
10:58
of tents over here, didn't see anything, and Hazy pushed all
11:02
the stuff that was on this desk here into the fire.
11:05
You still have a crate over here you can look at and you have a
11:08
tent over here you can take a look at.
11:10
Someone else do all that? Baby bird, what you doing man?
11:15
You want me to investigate even for the perception of
11:18
investigate what hasn't been looked at yet?
11:23
I just dig through the dirt now. You want the crater.
11:25
You want the tent. Tent.
11:28
I just look in the dirt right under me.
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So you want the tent? All right, give me a roll. 13 I
11:34
don't even think I have a modifier.
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All right, you see some notes in there, a couple documents have
11:41
some. What is a stationary that is
11:44
marked the veil for a secret government company?
11:49
They're not super secret. I mean, they're kind of in the
11:51
public eye, but it's a bunch of veil reports on Wendigo
11:54
sightings and not just of the sightings for murder.
11:59
They're it seems like they're studying the age of the Wendigo.
12:04
So they're not necessarily trying to trap it.
12:06
It seems like it seems like they're studying it.
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They're actually you weren't far off.
12:11
There's actual feces samples of the Wendigo that they're
12:14
studying to understand. Because I'm just masking the
12:18
samples. What it eats and like how it
12:20
works yeah, because he's over there just filling up another
12:24
jar that. Smells funny.
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I feel like anything you find in a tent can't be too top secret.
12:35
Well, technically I had to bribe a lot of people to get us up
12:39
here because this whole place is quarantined right now due to the
12:42
murders. Oh.
12:45
Little FF. Hey, Hey, Hazy, weren't you
12:49
saying you know something about Wendigos?
12:53
We're we're tracking them, right?
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Or they were tracking them? Yeah, You got you got any
12:58
knowledge on that? All I really know is they're
13:02
like an Indian spirit, usually totally linked to like the sins
13:07
of like greed and gluttony and totally linked to cannibalism.
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I feel like if we get too close to whoever this is, I might eat
13:17
one of y'all. So I'm just not eating right now
13:20
because I might be hungry later. I'm just saying.
13:24
Are you? Are you a cannibal?
13:26
What is going on? Why are you prepping to be a
13:28
Wendigo? You're like, I don't know.
13:30
I don't want to ruin my shot. I don't want to become a
13:32
Wendigo. And, you know, everyone just
13:35
immediately be like, this guy's not eating, all right?
13:37
I mean I'm just saying y'all can have my rations to fatten y'all
13:41
selves up because later on that might.
13:44
Can I search Hazy's pockets for like forks or knives?
13:50
Give me sleight of hand. Oh, OK, no.
13:56
It's 14 and Sleight of Hand is 4.
14:01
So 8 guys. Yeah, 18.
14:04
Jesus Christ, You actually pull out of you, you reach in the
14:08
hazy's pocket, his back pocket when he's not looking and you
14:10
pull out a pamphlet and it says, so you'll want to be a Wendigo.
14:13
And you're like, all right. You immediately just put it back
14:16
into your his pocket. You're like that's, that's
14:18
concerning. I'm just saying.
14:25
Look, he didn't get a match 20 because he would have.
14:26
He would have got becoming a Wendigo for Dummies in your
14:29
backpack. So moving right along, look at
14:40
that door over there, that big house.
14:42
That's crazy. That's weird.
14:43
That's. A weird door over there, all
14:48
right. What are we doing?
14:48
Blow it open with my C4. What the shit?
14:52
Let's fucking do it. Let's fucking do it.
14:55
You didn't see, you didn't even see if it was locked yet all.
14:59
Eyes, all eyes off me. That's all I care.
15:03
Just stand there twiddling your fingers.
15:06
That's I couldn't, I can't. We can't run the risk.
15:09
For sure, but OK. I'm with you.
15:10
OK, fine. No.
15:12
No, it's fine. I'll I'll open the door.
15:14
It's locked. I'm going to pull out my C4 and
15:20
slap it on the doorknob. All right, roll for damage.
15:24
Wait, are we all away from the door?
15:28
I'm standing near the campfire. I don't know about He didn't say
15:30
he didn't. Say that.
15:32
I actually know. D20 you don't need you don't
15:35
need damage. 20. A.
15:37
Nat 20. Yes.
15:40
Jesus. Yeah, I'm a High Roller today.
15:41
What the hell? Am I on the wrong website?
15:45
You blow open the door. It not just it not only blows
15:49
open the front door, but it shatters the little hallway wall
15:54
that's here. And you're like these walls,
15:57
this wall, this wall no longer exist.
16:00
And you're just staring at hold on, all right, It looks.
16:02
Clear to me two. Gentlemen who looks super
16:05
fucking scared are in a very kerfuffle that a hole was just
16:10
blown in and they're just staring at you.
16:12
This one right here is just screaming no, no.
16:17
And the other one is like, well, that's unfortunate.
16:22
So who do we just? I'm here to solve your Wendigo
16:24
problem. They're not damaged, they're
16:26
just standing there. Nobody behind the door that we
16:29
just blasted. No, thank God.
16:31
Who? Who are you talking to, baby
16:32
Bird? I'm talking I'm, I'm just
16:36
yelling into the blasted hole. What are we doing?
16:40
Oh, I, I yelled into the into the blasted hole.
16:42
I'm just standing in the opening.
16:44
They could see my the outline of my body from the campfire in the
16:48
background. And I go, I'm here to solve your
16:51
Wendigo problem there. You go.
16:53
All right, so the one scientist right here with the glasses
16:57
looks at you and goes. You have just brought the wind
17:00
to go here. Are you fucking stupid?
17:03
I look around and I shrug. So this the two scientists start
17:10
grabbing tables and like chairs, and they start to slide it over
17:14
because they're trying to grab any furniture or broken wood to
17:17
start barricading themselves back into the lodge.
17:20
Can I fire around into the like the wall near them?
17:25
Not like hitting them, but like where the door would be, like to
17:29
the left of the door or something.
17:31
To I mean, there, there's no door.
17:33
There's a gaping hole in this fucking wall that baby bird
17:36
blew. Where was an intimidation shot?
17:38
An intimidation. Shot.
17:39
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just shooting like near
17:41
them, not trying to hit them. All right, give me an
17:44
intimidation shot. Crit fail.
17:46
You actually screw him in the forehead.
17:47
He. Dies.
17:51
I got a 19. I'm not even going to give a
17:54
modifier because the 19 is fucking perfect.
17:57
So you blast a shot right next to this Asian scientist.
18:02
It's a little racist, to be honest.
18:04
And he just freezes. And the other scientist, he
18:07
panics and he scampers off into the back while this scientist
18:10
just stops moving. And he's like, please don't
18:12
shoot me. Please God, I have a wife, I
18:14
have a family. Please, please, just just just
18:18
just go away. The winner Who's going to kill
18:20
us all? Whoa, whoa, whoa.
18:23
I was just trying to get you guys's attention.
18:26
So can you come out here? A little.
18:28
That's not how shooting next to somebody fucking works.
18:30
Pretty kidding. People panic.
18:33
Especially after they just got blown up.
18:36
Can you come out, come come out that house, please?
18:40
Fuck no. No, fuck the.
18:41
Doctor, The doctor is not moving at all.
18:44
The doctor tells you go fuck yourself.
18:46
You'd rather take a bullet from you then come out there for the
18:50
wind it goes. Can I run after the said guy
18:52
that went running? You're just going to barge into
18:55
the house. Sure, go ahead and take off.
18:57
There's no. House there?
18:59
Really. Yeah, take off after the talk
19:03
about the the redhead Dr. Yeah, give me AD 20 roll.
19:12
God damn dude 7. Jesus.
19:16
You take off to run after him and as you enter this room, as
19:19
soon as you get here, this scientist right here stabs you
19:22
in the neck with a needle and you immediately just look at him
19:26
and you go. That's.
19:28
Not you're now unconscious on the floor.
19:34
Fucking hey. You guys have no idea if these
19:39
people are threats. You immediately blew up their
19:40
place, threaten them, and then you're just going to run by him
19:44
thinking it's going to be OK. I told them I was here to solve
19:48
their Wendigo. Problem.
19:49
I was going to chase the guy I. Was running.
19:52
I just blew up his house. Oh, I just shot near him.
19:55
Oh, I was just chasing him. Why are they afraid of us?
19:59
Well I'm unconscious so y'all have fun.
20:01
Yeah, pretty much. I guess we have to kill a baby
20:05
bird. Holy fuck.
20:06
OK. I'm going to.
20:09
Bury. I'm going to bury some C4 where
20:11
I'm standing and I'm going to walk into the house.
20:15
Give me sleight of hand to see if the doctor notices you
20:18
burying the C4. Well, like right outside, yeah,
20:22
17. I rule 17 and my sleight of hand
20:24
is 2, so it's a 19. I feel like I'm the only one not
20:27
lying about these roles. The fuck is no.
20:31
You're just getting shitty. How have I got double digits
20:35
like in 20 rolls? You you slowly drop the C4
20:38
through the hole in your pants that for some reason you have a
20:41
hole in your pants in your pocket.
20:42
I don't know why secret but the C4 drops out and then you kind
20:46
of like push it into the dirt and you take your foot and you
20:48
scoot dirt over it like you're putting out a cigarette.
20:51
He doesn't notice anything. However, after he stabbed hazing
20:56
you were preoccupied doing that. He now has a gun in his hand and
21:00
he's pointing at you and pretty Kitty.
21:03
My bad guys. OK, I go I.
21:06
Say I say unconscious. It's literally all your bad.
21:10
I go what's all the hubbub, bub? Hey, come on.
21:16
Come on, guy. Come.
21:18
On. Come on.
21:21
What are you trying to do here? I I already said I'm here to
21:25
solve your Wendigo problem. I don't know how you stabbed my
21:27
boy in the neck like that. Now we're one man down.
21:31
Well, I'm the only one in the house too.
21:33
Baby bird, what's your what's your AC?
21:35
No, no. 16. OK, well.
21:41
Hold on. No, man.
21:42
Left behind right guys. Baby bird, you're like, Oh no,
21:46
it's cool. It's whatever.
21:47
And then you get a shot rang out and you take 4 points of damage
21:50
and you're like, my tummy hurts. Oh no.
21:56
Everybody roll for initiative now.
21:58
Oh what? Including me unconscious on the
22:02
floor. Yeah, including you.
22:04
OK, sweet. I got a 12.
22:07
I got a 14. God damn dude I'm not even
22:11
trying a lot of y'all dude I just rolled A1 again.
22:15
It's OK, It's only initiative, God.
22:18
I just like, say, foaming on the floor.
22:21
Everyone like gets real tense for a moment and starts moving
22:23
into action. The doctor fires another round
22:25
off and hits you and you take 3 points of damage baby bird.
22:30
So you now have taken 7 points of damage.
22:32
Wait, I haven't taken any damage right from that whatever I got
22:36
injected with? No, he just.
22:38
He just made you unconscious. OK, sweet, I might come out on
22:40
top. He wasn't trying to kill any of
22:42
you. Oh well, damn all.
22:46
Right. I was just sleep through this
22:49
whole thing like Miss Baby Bird. It's I got.
22:50
Baby bird, it's your turn. OK, I'm gonna move at him.
22:55
I'm gonna grab his fucking arm and break it because he's just a
22:59
little scientist guy. I'm not trying to ruin his life.
23:02
I mean, you're still outside. You have to make your way to
23:05
him. So I.
23:06
Thought I did and that's why he shot at me.
23:08
Give me a bum rush roll which is.
23:10
What am I? You have to roll an 18 or
23:14
higher, but you get to add your strength or decks.
23:16
However, you're running at him because it's a combination move.
23:20
2010. One.
23:21
Oh shit, Nah. And he's wearing a hoodie.
23:24
I rolled an 11 with my strength is 14.
23:28
OK, so you make it to him and you slam into him, but you just
23:33
knock him down. His gun's still in his hand.
23:36
You're now just standing above him.
23:37
A much easier shot. Pretty Kitty, what are you
23:40
doing? So I'm going to use the just now
23:45
what I got Charisma, since apparently they're not trying to
23:48
kill us and scream across the yard or across the campsite into
23:53
the house. Sorry.
23:59
No, no. They weren't trying to kill you.
24:00
They're trying to kill you now because they think you're trying
24:03
to kill them. For a.
24:05
Multitude of reasons. Hold on, let me roll with
24:09
something here as you scream out.
24:13
We're not trying to hurt you, you just hear a from the woods.
24:22
Oh shit, pretty. Pretty good inside the house.
24:24
And you notice last gleams of light just sputtering over.
24:29
The mountains slowly fade and everything turns as dark as
24:33
Hazy's vision right now while he's knocked the fuck out.
24:37
Oh no. I'm having a good time though
24:40
guys. Pretty Kitty, What's your?
24:43
ACAC is 15. OK, you hear a gunshot fired
24:51
from the other room, somewhere in this vicinity.
24:55
Over here, you hear a gunshot fired in a hole, but something
24:58
just misses you, running right past your ears.
25:04
Hazy. Give me a saving roll.
25:06
It's AD 20 plus your will. Fuck me, all right, it's going
25:13
to be plus my will. Where's will at on the statue?
25:17
He slapped Chris Rock, so I don't know anymore.
25:20
What a callback. Sorry, it's going to be your
25:23
constitution for you guys. Constitution, OK.
25:27
Yeah, it's one. All right, so yes, 1 and I I
25:30
rolled the seven. OK, kill me.
25:32
You're still out. Sweet.
25:36
Baby bear, what are you doing? Good to know I'm and I'm
25:40
actually doing the best experience in my life compared
25:42
to everybody else. Right now.
25:44
Everybody else is panicking. I'm just everyone else is, well,
25:47
baby bird is taking a lot of damage, Pretty Kitty still
25:50
outside in a dangerous area yelling and you're so much like
25:54
a hero. You're doing the best actually.
25:56
Out of everyone, yeah. So watch him as he and I just
26:01
got jabbed and then. Baby bird, what are you doing?
26:06
I'm going to pick up the scientist.
26:08
I'm going to tell him to go hide while we take care of business.
26:11
Hell yeah. You're picking him up.
26:14
Is he still trying to kill me right now?
26:15
I'm going to fucking slap some sense into him because yeah,
26:18
he's. Still trying to kill you all.
26:22
Right, I'm going to fucking throw chop his ass since I'm
26:25
right on top of him. Hell yeah.
26:27
All right, throw, chop him. So OK.
26:29
I rolled in 11. Hell yeah.
26:33
Nice, give me AD 4 roll for your hand throat chop.
26:38
I don't want to kill a guy, you know, that's a one.
26:44
I gave him a stunner to the neck.
26:49
Pretty Kitty, you're up. All right, I guess we're killing
26:53
this guy then. So I fire fire a shot at his
26:58
head. Jesus Christ, all right, roll
27:02
for it. Why his head?
27:04
We might need the scientist guy. While running into the house.
27:08
He's just a little nerd, yeah. If you're running in, roll at a
27:12
disadvantage if you're trying to run and shoot him at the same
27:14
time. Can I do my blood point?
27:17
Toe to get absolutely get a shot off yeah, yeah, just roll once
27:23
then all. Right.
27:26
I got a four. Fuck.
27:28
He wasted the fuck out of that blood point.
27:31
Holy. Shit, you fire around deafening
27:35
him. That's how we and it goes right
27:38
between him almost hitting baby bird, scaring Baby Bird back a
27:41
little bit. So now Baby Bird is not within
27:45
melee range of this man anymore. Let's see, let's see.
27:50
Oof. Oof.
27:52
I saw his baby bird. What's your AC again?
27:55
16. You take one point of damage
27:59
from another round firing through the wall at you, dude.
28:02
I'm about to launch my grenade in that room.
28:05
Hazy. Go ahead and get a get another
28:08
saving throw. My God dude, I swear 4.
28:16
All right, well, you're still asleep.
28:18
OK. Maybe you're up again.
28:19
This is oh, wait, no. I'm gonna start lying, by the
28:23
way. I'm gonna start lying.
28:25
I'm gonna add 10 to every single thing I say the action.
28:29
Roll. I rolled the 37.
28:32
Hell yeah. Because Pretty Kitty ran in at
28:36
the same time, I just got a Nat 20 for the doctor.
28:39
The buck. So the doctor goes to fire at
28:43
Baby bird, blasts him, and it shoots right through his
28:47
stomach. Again, right through baby Bird's
28:49
stomach into Pretty Kitty's arm, and you both take two points of
28:53
damage. Not bad for a shitty scientist.
28:58
I was, I already had a hole there, so it's OK I.
29:01
Guess it's funny how I've taken less damage than everybody.
29:08
You've taken no damage. Everyone else is taking damage
29:10
at this point. Do I have a clear, do I have
29:15
clear sight into the room that he's shooting from because he's
29:18
able to shoot us through the fucking wall?
29:21
The other doctor, No. How the fuck?
29:23
He's firing blindly. Oh.
29:26
Yeah. You're also being shot by the
29:28
doctor in the room with you. Yeah.
29:30
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, for sure.
29:34
Fuck it man, I'm going to try and shoot this dude in a
29:36
shooting hand shooting arm. I'm going to shoot him in the
29:39
what kind of gun do you shoot him in the arm?
29:42
I I do have wait, let me see actually before I blow his fuck
29:45
out you. Just got your thumper.
29:47
Yeah, what the fuck? Shit, I'm going to use my
29:50
thumper as a freaking baseball bat.
29:53
All right, give me a check with strength.
29:56
A check with strength. Yeah.
29:58
OK, it's. Your melee, Your grenade
30:02
launcher. At 3 plus OK A9.
30:10
So 12 no. No, no, I rolled A6 with my
30:14
strength modifiers a three, so that's a nine.
30:16
You swing at them, but it's really big and clunky and you
30:19
miss. So from where I'm standing, I
30:25
will try to shoot out the lights.
30:31
All right, go ahead and roll Pretty Kitty.
30:33
I rolled A5A. Nice.
30:38
See, now we're not lying. See, you're just.
30:41
Fired into the ceiling and nothing has happened.
30:45
Hell yeah. Good day out, Papa.
30:49
Another round comes through the wall and nothing happens.
30:52
Hazy, give me a saving throw. Oh, thank.
30:54
God that was weird. Let's hope for the best, boys.
30:58
See where those boys? Oh, a 13 double digit hazy.
31:04
Sits up like a zombie coming back to life and he's like.
31:07
Under Shaker and. He's just listening to boom,
31:11
boom, boom, boom. And he's like, what is what is
31:14
happening right now? All right then let's let's see
31:19
what happens for the other doctor.
31:20
Like Pulp Fiction, I just got the adrenaline shot in the
31:23
chest. So this doctor scared that all
31:26
these rounds are firing and there's bullets coming from
31:29
behind him. He fires again at you, baby bird
31:32
and completely misses. What are you doing?
31:34
I look at him and I say, me dwellers Tomago.
31:43
He's Japanese, he understands nothing of what you're fucking
31:46
saying. I'm going to take another swing
31:51
of this nerdy bitch. Give me another strength check
31:54
with it. Come on, come on. 14 plus what
31:58
is it 317? Oh that hits.
32:01
Give me AD 4 roll. Mother.
32:05
Fucking dude that does one more damage to my throat chop.
32:10
So it smacks him in the head, it knocks him back.
32:13
He's a little bit further away behind the table and his head's
32:15
bleeding and he is just like, still freaking out.
32:19
He still hasn't dropped the gun. Pretty Kitty, what are you
32:21
doing? I'm going to try to shoot at his
32:24
arm, his holding gun arm, like all right, Big Yard did a minute
32:27
ago. Roll for it.
32:29
You pull the trigger and his brains come out of Zed.
32:34
I got a 17 + 4, so 21. Whoa.
32:40
Very nice. Give me a damage roll.
32:44
So since I'm not 300 feet away, that would be only one D12,
32:49
right? No.
32:50
It's usually 2. It's 2D12.
32:53
It's supposed to be two D6, not D12.
32:56
You're gonna shoot this dude? 'S arm off 2D6.
32:59
OK I gotta write that. Make sure you change it.
33:01
It's 55 damage. You blast this dudes arm off and
33:07
he just starts screaming, but you didn't shoot the arm with
33:12
the gun, so he's still holding on to the gun like he's just got
33:15
a death grip on that thing. The holy Christ.
33:18
Hold on, let's see what the other doctor's doing.
33:21
Have you all noticed we have not actually fought anybody with
33:24
antlers? Oh my God, another round goes
33:29
through the wall and it hits baby Bird and Pretty Kitty
33:31
again. Both of you take 3 points of
33:33
damage. I'm almost dead.
33:38
Yeah, that's weird. Hazy.
33:41
What are you doing? You're awake.
33:42
Hey, I'm awake now. Awesome.
33:45
I'm going to go take cover. I'm going to go take cover and
33:48
obviously figure out what the fuck is going on around me.
33:51
Can I do that? Give me a sneak check.
33:54
A sneak check. Give me a sneak perception
33:58
check. Yeah, you can move and like try
34:00
to pay attention. So what do I need to do?
34:02
Roll AD 20 and give you a what? A Stealth would be your
34:06
Dexterity, but you're also trying to do Perception, so
34:09
instead of the two so sorry, 16 no.
34:11
So instead of your two decks, because you're trying to do a,
34:14
you're only getting one point from your decks.
34:16
OK, so I got I rolled the 15. Cool.
34:18
So you actually scootch boot back behind here, but you snuck
34:24
back here and so this doctor, he's actually right here firing
34:27
and you are right here. You see him, but he doesn't see
34:30
you yet. All right, let's see what is
34:32
the? That's it.
34:34
That's all you lose. Damn it, man.
34:36
So I'm just sitting here looking at him.
34:40
So like the spider man? The Asian scientist fires
34:43
another round at you. Baby burden completely misses
34:45
and it's your turn. OK, I'm going to pull a Krav
34:50
McGraw move. Oh, fancy.
34:53
I'm going to. I'm going to twist his arm.
34:57
All right, give me a strength check.
34:58
Oh. Shit, I wrote both at the same
35:00
time. Let it be.
35:01
Like 20? Oh, no way.
35:04
And that 20. That 20 Nice.
35:08
You grab his one remaining arm. God immediately let's go of the
35:13
gun and it clatters to the ground and you're just holding
35:16
on to him. Are you trying to cause damage?
35:18
Are you trying to? Restrain him.
35:20
I'm trying to restrain him. We might need his brain.
35:25
All right, you're holding him down.
35:26
But he's he's lost an arm, so he he's bleeding heavily.
35:31
Yeah, I we, we got to, we got to start.
35:35
See, I learned this in the military.
35:37
We got to apply a tourniquet. Are you crime?
35:41
A guy there's. A whole fire outside.
35:45
You've you've disarmed him at this point.
35:49
Pretty kidding. It's your turn.
35:52
So I'm going to try. They're on the ground, right?
35:55
Baby Bird and the other the doctor or the scientist, the
35:58
ones bleeding out. Technically, we're all on the
36:00
ground. Baby Bird has mounted him.
36:02
Yes, shut up. So I'm going to shoot in the
36:09
general direction from which the bullets came.
36:13
Earlier, All right, well, he's he's fired a couple rounds, so
36:16
go ahead and fire that shot with advantage.
36:20
Do it. I don't even need advantage.
36:22
I rolled a Nat 20. Jesus, all right, give me a
36:25
damage. 2D6 I'm on the wrong website dude y'all need to give
36:29
me the website y'all are using. Google put in dice roller.
36:34
Yeah, it's what I'm using. It's not, it's not the same.
36:37
It's not the same. Pretty Kitty, what's your
36:39
damage? It's 6.
36:41
All right, so you caused 6 damage to the doctor.
36:45
He takes him in the chest. You fired at him.
36:49
Oh shit, he fires back at you pretty Kitty because he knows
36:52
where you are and you take 4 points of damage.
36:55
Nice. Fuck yeah.
36:56
I'm writing, I'm writing his peripherals, but he wants to
36:59
fire. It's your.
37:00
It's your turn. You.
37:02
You sneak. I get on one knee.
37:06
I'm going to instantly pull out my guns and start blasting on
37:09
this ginger. You know.
37:12
Fucking doctor in the hallway and come on with it.
37:18
Oh, a 15? Nice, give me a damage.
37:21
Which is 20, right? No, it's your your D8.
37:26
You have to roll AD 8. So AD 8, all right, 08, Fuck
37:33
yeah. You fire both rounds, three
37:38
shots and they just the first shot takes off his glasses right
37:42
off his face and as he goes to turn the next two shots you put
37:46
right in his eyes. Yeah.
37:49
So he. He gone boondock.
37:51
Saints style and then he just collapses the floor.
37:54
Is that a winner or a loss? Guys, I don't know, but fucking
37:57
win in my book. Is he?
37:59
OK, Did you kill the guy over there?
38:01
I heard some shots go off. Everything OK?
38:03
Oh no, for sure, I'm going to moonwalk into the the living
38:08
room. Oh no, I just.
38:12
OK, so so that scientist is dead.
38:14
The other scientist with his nub kind of reaches out to baby bird
38:20
and he just goes, it's coming and just he slowly just kind of
38:26
dies off and his eyes roll in the back of his head and.
38:30
We we should ask for information.
38:32
He just goes real cold because all that blood is coming out.
38:36
What about the tourniquet? Why?
38:38
Didn't you apply a tourniquet? God damn it.
38:41
And then you hear me go over the radio.
38:44
Hey guys, did you guys meet up with the scientists that were
38:47
supposed to hand over the information to us?
38:50
They're the moles that I have that are in the veil to help us
38:52
out. Fuck yeah, I dotted both them
38:54
eyes. I respond we killed them.
38:59
Copy No. No, no, I respond.
39:01
They didn't tell us anything and they tried to murder us, so we
39:05
killed them. Why would they try to murder
39:08
you? That's a good question, I think.
39:10
They got cabin fever. You killed all three of them. 3
39:16
for sure. And that's the end of today's
39:19
episode, everybody. No.
39:20
No, no, I must say for sure we we killed all three because I'm
39:23
going to kill the other one real quick.
39:29
Transmission loss Teen status unknown.