Latest / Tony & Sarah Unscripted / EP 5: From Adoption to Belonging - Sarah’s Story

Transcript

EP 5: From Adoption to Belonging - Sarah’s Story · Tony & Sarah Unscripted

0:12
All right.
0:13
Good morning everyone.
0:14
Top of the morning to you. It's.
0:15
We're filming on Saint Patrick's Day.
0:17
Which.
0:18
That's why the only reason why I'm running green.
0:20
Because I didn't want my co-host to be upset with me.
0:22
Because she is Irish, right? Yes.
0:25
Yeah.
0:26
She's from Ireland.
0:27
Listen, I never knew that about you.
0:29
And we. We.
0:30
When I found out, we knew each other for quite some time.
0:32
You think you would mention it?
0:34
But I.
0:35
When you were talking in Gilford
0:37
and just telling your story and you said I was born in Ireland.
0:41
I just looked around. I was like she was more in Ireland.
0:43
What the hell is she talking about?
0:44
So just.
0:46
Yeah, most people don't.
0:47
When they see me,
0:48
they don't think Irish, they think Italian or Spanish or whatever.
0:53
Yeah. So.
0:54
And I don't really have much of an accent.
0:56
I say some words that people, particularly my child, likes to make fun of, but,
1:02
but I don't have the Irish brogue right like that.
1:05
So people don't really get or I pick up.
1:07
Sometimes people do.
1:08
If they are themselves from England or Ireland,
1:11
they'll say, oh, are you from Ireland?
1:13
Oh, the they catch on. They catch on.
1:15
So, yeah.
1:17
So, but as I just said to you, it's more Saint Patrick's
1:21
Day is very much more of a big holiday here than it was more commercialized here.
1:27
Right? Yeah.
1:28
And so I always find that funny, and I don't even.
1:31
I looked in my closet. Shame. Like, I don't really even.
1:35
It's green.
1:36
It's green. Yeah. It's good.
1:37
Just like I really should wear something that are green today thing.
1:41
Let's see.
1:42
So. Well, the real story is.
1:44
Well, we would like the real story.
1:46
So the real story told me that I've adopted.
1:50
And so my birth mother was.
1:52
It was or is Irish.
1:55
But my birth father is Palestinian.
1:58
That's where the coloring comes from.
2:00
Okay.
2:01
And I remember seeing a picture of him when he was very young
2:05
and when he was with my birth mother, and he just.
2:09
He was very tall, which I'm not, but his, you know, dark, dark hair, dark eyes,
2:13
all that stuff.
2:14
So clearly, that's where my coloring comes from.
2:16
Yeah.
2:17
So. And then I was adopted.
2:21
I think I was probably a few months old.
2:24
Oh, so you were adopted, right? Like, okay.
2:26
The thing is, I like to tell the story because I just find it so interesting
2:30
is when my birth mother got pregnant, she lived in Cork in Ireland.
2:35
And back in that time, a lot of times the unwed
2:40
pregnant mothers to be were,
2:43
kind of placed in,
2:46
convents. And that's where she was.
2:49
So she went into a convent.
2:51
And the whole thing is to kind of like, keep the person out of
2:54
the public view, and it's, you just don't want to embarrass the family
2:57
when they go into a convent.
2:59
And so she did, and she was very well taken care of by the nuns.
3:03
And they knew that when I was going to be born, I was going to be a darker baby.
3:09
So they also were concerned that if
3:15
a family came in and wanted this typical Irish
3:18
looking baby, that I would not obviously fit that mold.
3:22
So instead of having me be kind of like, oh, you know,
3:27
you don't have a color, baby, a color of a baby that I would like,
3:31
but I, you know, I guess we could we could take the darker one. Sort of.
3:34
Oh my God.
3:35
Yeah.
3:35
It was very weird
3:36
that that nuns wanted to take it into their own hands
3:40
and find what they felt
3:42
would be the right home for me, which I think was wonderful.
3:45
So they advertised me,
3:50
advertised you ad out
3:54
in the paper.
3:55
So yes.
3:57
Not on the internet or the website.
3:58
This was a no no, I know, but I mean, like, I know it's wow, very bizarre.
4:04
And it just said, I mean, I wish I had it.
4:07
Oh, that would be cool. So cool.
4:08
But I think it says something like, you know,
4:11
you were looking for a home for this, young baby.
4:15
The nuns wanted a home
4:19
that had older children and and particularly boys.
4:23
And my parents had, four boys, actually,
4:29
that they lost their the oldest one, he passed away when he was a baby.
4:33
And then they had three more boys.
4:35
And then my mother couldn't have any more children.
4:38
So we kind of fit that mold, or they fit that mold of what
4:42
the nuns were looking for.
4:44
And so my parents lived in Dublin and I was in Cork,
4:48
and they had to take a train
4:50
through for our, train ride.
4:53
So they went to Cork, they went to the convent and,
4:58
they met the nuns and so I went back up to Dublin.
5:01
Didn't hear anything.
5:03
Didn't hear anything. Didn't hear anything.
5:04
And they just assumed that they weren't chosen.
5:08
And then my mother said, the way it happened
5:09
is they got a call sort of on a, like a Sunday night type thing.
5:13
And, you know, you've been chosen.
5:15
We'd like for you, your family to, to have this, this child.
5:20
So you need to just come down and kind of we get her tomorrow.
5:23
And my mom had nothing ready for me.
5:27
So all of their neighbors and everything got everything they needed
5:30
as far as like a crib and being all sweet.
5:33
And my parents took a train down to Cork and
5:38
the way again, my mother describes it as, she sort of went into the convent, sign
5:42
some papers, kind of just walked through, walked through the door, handed me, and I
5:46
walked out.
5:47
It was kind of something like that quick exchange.
5:50
Yeah. Like you're.
5:53
So, but my youngest brother,
5:55
who is about three and a half years older than me, was not prepared for me at all.
5:59
So he was not happy, that he was no longer the youngest.
6:03
And there was this
6:05
little brown baby that was coming.
6:09
Yeah.
6:10
So, so that's kind of how it happened then.
6:14
And when I heard that story, I just thought it was really bizarre.
6:18
And I can't imagine ever
6:21
putting a child in a
6:22
newspaper now that anybody would, you know, think you can do it now?
6:25
I don't think you can do it now.
6:26
No, but I do appreciate that the nuns took
6:32
the kind of took that route because it was so important to them
6:35
to find a good home for me.
6:37
Yeah, I think that was wonderful.
6:38
Now, did your parents sit you down one day and tell you you were adopted,
6:43
or did you just it was it just know, like, how did that happen?
6:47
How did you know?
6:48
Cousins accidentally told me.
6:50
Are you kidding?
6:52
I think I have a terrible memory, but I'm pretty sure
6:55
it was one of my cousins, because I.
6:56
It's not that my parents weren't going to tell me.
6:59
It's just that, as my mother said, in my father's eyes, I was there.
7:04
And that was the end of it.
7:05
There was no, I wasn't, you know, I just belong to the family.
7:08
And and that was it.
7:09
So but maybe they didn't think that they could find the right time.
7:14
I really don't know.
7:15
So it was kind of a slip up from one of the cousins.
7:18
But growing up,
7:21
after I knew that I was adopted,
7:24
I would hear things all the time about how I didn't look like anybody
7:28
in the family because my three brothers, my oldest
7:30
and my father, were both dark hair, dark eyes,
7:34
and darker skin.
7:36
But my mother was blond haired, blue eyed, fair skinned, and my two other brothers
7:40
were, sort of more of the auburn red hair, very fair
7:43
skin and lighter eyes and
7:48
even with my oldest brother and my father that there was huge, like,
7:52
you could really tell that they were father and son.
7:54
Yeah.
7:56
And so people would have no difficulty telling me that
8:00
you don't look like anybody in the family. So.
8:03
And I think that was much more hurtful than anybody would imagine, that it was
8:07
because it just felt that I didn't really belong, even though I did.
8:11
And I was a Collins and I was part of the family.
8:14
It was the constant reminder that I knew nothing and I didn't look like them.
8:19
Yeah. So,
8:23
and that
8:23
was why when I had I think I had mentioned in that talk
8:27
when we were in Guilford, but how would I want to my own children?
8:30
I was so excited to have someone that looked like me.
8:33
Yeah, a lot of adopted people say that same thing.
8:36
So does that make sense? Yeah, yeah.
8:38
You don't think about it like
8:40
you don't think about the importance of somebody looking like you.
8:42
And then I remember even when my kids were
8:45
babies, people were like, oh, that's like your husband.
8:48
And like, oh, man.
8:51
So they look like me.
8:53
Yeah.
8:53
Just because, again, it was so important and I didn't realize how important it was
8:57
until the years went by.
8:59
And I was told, I don't look like anyone in the family.
9:01
And, you know, I just, you know, all the stuff.
9:04
And it just kind of puts you down in a way and you don't really realize the effects
9:07
of it. Yeah. So
9:10
I was lucky enough to meet my biological mother.
9:14
Oh, you did, and got to talk.
9:17
An email and kind of communicate with my biological father.
9:22
Yes.
9:23
My biological mother.
9:24
When I was 18, she reached out to.
9:27
And I remember we were in Ireland and then moved to.
9:29
When did you. Well, how old were you when you moved to America?
9:32
Okay, so she reached out to, I think, my uncle or something.
9:37
No, I'm sorry, she didn't.
9:39
They the organization.
9:42
Reached out to the nuns.
9:44
I guess the nuns or whoever sort of probably did it with the nuns, maybe.
9:48
And, they told her they got her to my brother,
9:52
who was living in Ireland at the time.
9:54
I think he was there for a while.
9:56
And he said, oh, you know, she's in America. So
10:01
whether it be the nuns
10:02
or the organization contacted my mother and said,
10:06
you know, your daughter's birth mother is looking to
10:09
to speak with her or just kind of see.
10:12
And how old were you then? 18.
10:15
You have to be 18.
10:16
Oh, okay.
10:16
Unless unless there's, like an open adoption thing or whatever.
10:20
But for us, it was a closed option and she couldn't reach out till I was 18.
10:24
So, I was.
10:28
I didn't really have any contact with her at that time.
10:31
But when I was 21, I graduated myself and my best friend
10:35
Lynn,
10:37
that was my son.
10:39
And we went around Europe together for about six weeks,
10:42
and I contacted the number that I had for the convent or again.
10:46
Yeah.
10:47
And I said, listen, if you are still in contact with my birth mother,
10:51
let her know that I'll be in Spain,
10:53
because I knew she lived in Spain from the oh, she lived in Spain. Yes.
10:56
In that time that she lived in Spain.
10:58
And if she wanted to meet up.
11:01
And so I'm getting nervous right now.
11:04
All right.
11:04
Well, then, within probably minutes,
11:06
it was returned to me that, yes, she wanted to meet up with me and.
11:10
Oh, wow, she could meet me.
11:11
And it was at the train station and that she would be wearing.
11:14
Remember, I, I didn't know what she looked like and vice versa.
11:17
Right.
11:18
A green baseball cap.
11:21
And so a green baseball cap.
11:25
So that was kind of set up that way.
11:27
And so I was really nervous.
11:30
I went into the train station and I was looking
11:34
and I really remember I wanted someone to look like me.
11:38
So I really was getting to see someone who would recognize dark skin,
11:41
not blue eyes, pale skin.
11:45
But her face was very like mine.
11:47
Okay. And so
11:51
she said to me, I recognized you immediately.
11:54
I mean, you look very like your father.
11:56
Your birthday. Okay?
11:57
And I was under the impression that because my parents told me
12:01
maybe they were under the impression,
12:02
but that my father was kind of like a Spanish sailor
12:06
who went into Ireland, you know?
12:08
Had a good time. Yeah.
12:11
So I had no inclination or desire to ever meet him,
12:13
because that's kind of all I knew. And
12:17
it was sad to me
12:19
that I wasn't a product of a love relationship.
12:22
I was a product of that sort of
12:25
very quick in and out.
12:26
Yeah, yeah.
12:27
So but the story was very different.
12:32
She and my birth father had worked together for about nine, ten months.
12:37
Okay.
12:38
And again, him being Palestinian, she being Irish,
12:41
they knew that it would be very difficult
12:44
to make it work, which was again 50, 50 plus years ago. So
12:50
when she found out I was,
12:51
she was pregnant with me and she told him
12:55
they made the decision, they knew that the right thing to do
12:58
was to give me up for adoption.
12:59
But that also was a little bit of a push from her mother.
13:02
And he went back to
13:07
the Palestine or Spain.
13:08
I'm not quite sure where he was living at the time.
13:10
And,
13:14
and then they kept a little bit of contact.
13:15
So after I was born, she had pictures.
13:17
So she would show them the pictures.
13:19
But I don't know that they were tremendously in contact a long time.
13:23
So anyway, so she was like, oh my gosh, you look just like your birth father.
13:27
I don't know what I thought would be a let's sit down at the coffee
13:32
and, you know, coffee place and just talk and catch up about
13:36
my life turned out to be days.
13:39
Days? Yes.
13:42
Good days.
13:44
Hard days. Oh, okay. Hard days.
13:46
Because she kept calling me Rebecca, which was the first name that she gave me.
13:51
Oh, God.
13:52
Even though Lynn kept saying Sarah, Sarah, like she would remind her
13:56
that it was Sarah.
13:57
I could tell it was a very, very difficult 21 years for her.
14:02
Oh yes.
14:04
She carried a picture around with me of me always.
14:07
She did end up marrying and having three other children of her own
14:12
with this, Spanish guy that she met.
14:16
But it was
14:19
I don't think she ever really dealt properly
14:22
with giving birth and struggled
14:25
with it for many, many years.
14:27
And so
14:29
I was still young and
14:32
incapable of really knowing what it was
14:35
like to be a mother and what would be like to give up a child and all that stuff.
14:38
But she was saying things like,
14:41
I wish you could come to Ireland with me and you could meet all the family.
14:45
And I said, my own family, my parents do not know I'm here meeting you.
14:49
Oh, you know, I hadn't.
14:51
Oh, did I, I forgot to mention it.
14:54
I forgot to mention it.
14:55
So they didn't.
14:56
And because I was just going to say I was just going to ask you, like,
14:59
what was your parent's, you know, reaction to you meeting.
15:02
So they did not know.
15:03
They did not know.
15:04
I did end up telling my mother. And she was
15:08
sad but understood.
15:10
And then as the years went on, she felt more and more
15:15
sad for my birth mother.
15:17
As I would tell her stories about how difficult that seemed to be.
15:21
And and my mother said, and I'm always grateful to her for giving.
15:25
Yeah.
15:25
Giving you up, you know. And so.
15:29
And I've always said the same thing, I think for any mother
15:33
that gives up her child, it is the most selfless thing that they can do,
15:37
because they're mainly doing it
15:38
because they don't think that they can give their life,
15:40
what they consider a good enough life for their child.
15:43
Right.
15:44
And I think that that is one of the things that she asked me was, was I mad at her?
15:49
And I said, absolutely not.
15:50
But I think what you did was selfless and I would be forever grateful for.
15:54
I'm forever grateful to you for doing that.
15:57
But she would say things like, I love you and all that stuff,
15:59
and it was very hard for me to respond with that.
16:05
And it just became very difficult.
16:08
And she would say things like, do you have your birth certificate?
16:11
And I was like, well, yes.
16:14
Just for you
16:15
don't you don't have your original birth certificate because I have that,
16:19
because it's under lock and key
16:22
and no one's going to take away the fact that you belong to me.
16:25
So that's hard to hear, to hear.
16:29
But also, when you look at it from her point, you felt I felt very bad.
16:34
As I got older, I felt very sorry for her and the pain
16:37
that she must have endured for all those years.
16:40
And I can't imagine what that was like.
16:43
Like counting down until you were 18 so she can contact you.
16:45
Yeah, that's sad.
16:47
Yeah. So,
16:50
so fast forward.
16:51
I mean, she would be sent, she would send me stuff,
16:53
and it became just too much.
16:55
And so I cut contact with her and then I,
17:00
we reached out to her when I became a mother.
17:03
And she became.
17:06
She got to meet my three children.
17:09
Oh, really?
17:10
Ireland and I, and I brought my brother, brought myself and the three children
17:14
to Cork to meet her.
17:15
At that point, she was back in Ireland
17:18
and I would have a relationship with her.
17:20
And but it all just became too much for me to handle because the more I gave,
17:25
the more she wanted.
17:26
And again, I knew that there was
17:28
something that she was trying to fulfill that I couldn't do.
17:32
I think it was difficult for her, her children, they were seeing her
17:35
in a very depressed state. Yeah.
17:37
And she was she was up and down with her emotions.
17:40
And the last straw
17:42
was when she was going to come to New York and to come see me.
17:47
And it wasn't even asked of me.
17:49
Oh, that she was going to come.
17:51
And the kids had bought her a ticket and they were going to come to New York,
17:54
and she was in New York, and then she was going to come see me, and I just
17:58
I couldn't do it.
18:00
I couldn't carry
18:02
the guilt that I was feeling
18:05
for no apparent reason, except the fact that she was traveling so much.
18:09
Right. So,
18:13
and that was kind of I mean,
18:15
then back in 2020, I did meet one of my half
18:21
siblings, yes, half siblings in Spain, and we went to Spain.
18:25
So I went to Spain
18:28
when my two older boys were one and three.
18:32
And at that point she was living in Spain.
18:33
Okay. So I went to see her
18:36
with my two older boys, and she had one of her sons with her.
18:40
So that one son is the only one out of the three of them
18:44
and still talks to me because I think the other two are rightly so.
18:48
We're very defensive
18:49
by the fact that I had left their mother or had stopped communicating with her.
18:54
So he reached out to me a few years ago just to let me know that she wasn't doing
18:57
well, and she was sick and so I've kind of been an on and off contact with him.
19:02
I just reached out to him the other day, to see how she was.
19:05
Yeah. And
19:07
whenever I
19:09
address him about her, I always say, How is Frances?
19:13
How is Frances?
19:14
And he'll respond with our mother.
19:16
Oh, and
19:19
I have a mother.
19:22
Frances has a I wish there was a different word for us.
19:25
You know what I think?
19:26
What? She gave me life. Yeah,
19:28
but I but I wouldn't consider her my mother.
19:32
Well, yeah.
19:33
I mean, my a mother is, you know, just not somebody who gave birth to you.
19:38
I mean, that's, you know, I mean, I'm not trying to be crude or
19:41
anything, but, you know, sometimes you can consider them just the donor.
19:44
Yeah. You know. Yeah.
19:46
But so,
19:47
so, so it's hard for me because I do know that
19:50
his response of our mother, I know what he's trying to say with that.
19:54
And I still could never
19:56
I just reached out to the other day and I was like, How is Frances not how is.
20:00
Yeah, mom.
20:01
Yeah, yeah, I don't I would never want to insult my own mother by that.
20:05
Yeah, but you don't feel that either. Yeah.
20:07
You got to be true to yourself. So it's very, very difficult.
20:10
How is she?
20:12
Okay, so she's doing all right.
20:13
She sent me a picture.
20:14
She's 20 years older than me, so she's 71. And,
20:19
he he did send
20:20
me a picture of her, in at her her birthday.
20:25
I think she's she's got a lot of health issues,
20:28
which is concerning not only because she's been, you know,
20:33
but my biological mother, who I've been in contact with for so many years.
20:36
But she's your. But.
20:39
Yeah, she's your biological mother.
20:41
Mother. Yeah.
20:43
So I do think that there is,
20:47
some sort of dementia or something there.
20:50
And she's off to young for that.
20:51
So part of me is like, how do I approach that conversation with him?
20:55
I don't want to be
20:57
rude and be like, okay, well, can you tell me what's going on?
20:59
Because I need to know what's in my future.
21:01
I'm there for my children. I don't think that.
21:03
I don't think that's a, an I mean, it might be an awkward question,
21:07
but I don't think that he would be, like, thrown, thrown back by it.
21:12
I mean, you have the right to know, like,
21:13
what's going on, you know, is this genetic?
21:15
You know, you absolutely have the right to know that.
21:18
Again, 71, which is young. Yeah. Yeah.
21:21
It's like she's by the stage of the pictures he sent me.
21:24
I think she's in the home and stuff.
21:26
Oh wow. So she's really not doing well. She is
21:30
and she has diabetes very badly.
21:31
And at the time in 2020, when he was talking to me, he said she was
21:35
not taking care of herself.
21:37
And that was causing tremendous issues.
21:39
So, so this all that sort of health stuff.
21:42
Yeah.
21:42
My biological father, I was also we were talking back and forth
21:47
and he was interesting because it well, he only speak Spanish.
21:50
Oh, I don't speak Spanish.
21:52
So that was I would in a translator have ChatGPT back then have.
21:56
Yeah that would have been but we have but there was just translator. Yeah.
21:59
They right into my phone
22:01
and I would send it to him but we couldn't talk to each other.
22:04
Yeah.
22:05
And he said to me at one point
22:07
that he had never told his mother, his wife about me. Oh,
22:12
okay.
22:12
So that he felt that.
22:15
And this was his broken Spanish
22:17
way of broken English way of saying that he felt he was cheating on her
22:20
by having a conversation and by having a relationship with me.
22:23
And it didn't mean cheating. No, I get what.
22:25
Yeah, what he's trying to say was, well, he's not being truthful with her.
22:29
Yeah. So he was struggling with that.
22:31
And then one day he emailed me and said I told her,
22:33
I told her everything, you know, oh, well, how happy he was.
22:36
So. And last time I talked to him
22:39
was the only time I ever talked to him was, summer of 2020.
22:43
And he had a friend of his who spoke English.
22:45
Oh, and they get on the phone and you translated the two of us.
22:48
Oh how cool.
22:49
Really great.
22:50
And I said to him that I would love to go meet him
22:53
and, that maybe when all of this was over as far as Covid
22:58
and we were able to travel and all that, that I would go to Spain and see him,
23:02
I haven't heard.
23:03
And he was like, absolutely, absolutely.
23:05
And then I, I don't think he's around anymore.
23:08
What do you mean, dead or not around?
23:10
I don't, because he has not responded to anything.
23:14
I, texted an update, I called, I emailed, I have gone back and forth with WhatsApp
23:20
over and over and over again and I haven't heard back.
23:24
Did you Google his name?
23:25
Google his name and I can't find anything up.
23:28
I googled his name to see.
23:29
I even called where he used to because he had his own, eyeglass place.
23:34
Oh, cool. And they said
23:36
he'd sold it,
23:37
but they didn't know anything about him, so.
23:41
But you'd think that you would see.
23:42
Do you know the town he lived in and, like, is there a way a check?
23:46
I do have a he had sent my son.
23:49
My sunglasses, prescription glasses, which is so sweet.
23:52
That's very cool. Prescription. He's like, I'll send him some glasses.
23:55
So he did. So I have the return address of that.
23:58
So I've looked that up.
23:59
I mean, I've looked and looked and looked.
24:02
Do they have like town halls or something.
24:04
They're like vital statistic places or anything.
24:06
I mean, if you really wanted to dig in.
24:08
Yeah, you can probably dig in.
24:11
My thought is that he's, because I just from knowing him as a, as briefly
24:17
as I did, there's no way that this person would ignore me the way he has.
24:21
Yeah. No way.
24:22
Yeah.
24:23
It's very sick or has passed on or something because,
24:26
he was like, he would email me
24:29
my birthday and Christmas every single year.
24:31
I wish you a happy New Year and, invite my birthday.
24:34
And then he would call when he got my phone number.
24:37
We would ahead try to have these broken conversations and very, very difficult.
24:41
But he would call,
24:43
and then again, he was so happy.
24:45
And I have these messages when he told his wife, yeah,
24:49
drop off, something happened.
24:51
Yeah. So sad.
24:54
But anyway, my mother lives in Ireland still, and one of my brothers
24:58
now lives in Ireland, and so she's here at the moment.
25:01
But sometimes I'll get over there and see her.
25:03
Yeah. I went to boarding school over there.
25:06
Oh, wow.
25:07
So I was there until I was, I was here, I moved here when I was.
25:10
Where did you like, when when your family left Ireland.
25:13
They came to America.
25:15
Where did you move to?
25:17
Madison. Madison, Connecticut.
25:19
Who pick like I'm I it always blows my mind.
25:22
Like how they picked the almost the smallest state you know,
25:26
my father came over to open a business, so I just think
25:30
he was looking at the best part and maybe the best part.
25:34
And then in the US, for the business that he was going into.
25:38
But I also think if you think about it, that Connecticut is the closest.
25:42
Yeah. Ireland. Right.
25:43
Because it's you know, we're right there. Yeah.
25:45
So it's right there. Right there.
25:47
Oh it is just hop in the hop in the ocean and just switch over
25:50
and I'll be right there. Yeah.
25:53
So I think and they never really wanted to live in the center of anything.
25:56
They always lived near the water in Ireland.
25:59
Always. Yeah.
26:00
They were big sailors. Everything. Oh, cool.
26:03
They want it to be near the water. So that's how they pay.
26:05
And are they still in your life?
26:07
My father passed away about 12 or 13 years ago.
26:10
He had a glioblastoma.
26:11
So, I don't know what that is, but I'm sorry.
26:14
Oh, wow.
26:15
And he had paid for by the time they found it.
26:19
And he had
26:20
six months to 18 months.
26:22
Oh, Jesus.
26:23
Last 18 months, because he was a very determined man.
26:26
Yeah.
26:26
So, my mother is still, And so she lives in Ireland.
26:31
Your your your adopted mom lives in Ireland.
26:35
Yeah.
26:35
Oh, I didn't know that she went back.
26:37
Yes. Oh, okay.
26:38
Moved back about 26 years ago. Oh, really?
26:41
Happy here. Okay. For her to, you know, think about it.
26:44
She was like 36, 37 when she moved here with four young children.
26:48
Yeah, very much into the business and creating a business.
26:52
And she was a very, very lonely woman.
26:54
And she had left her entire family.
26:56
She had four sisters and a brother.
26:58
Oh, wow. Everything she knew everybody she knew.
27:01
So she waited until, I actually got married about 20, almost 26 years ago.
27:07
And so she waited until we were adults.
27:10
Yeah. Good.
27:12
Good for her.
27:12
Yeah, I understand that. So that's good.
27:15
So she lives there and I go back and forth sometimes I don't.
27:18
It's been difficult with Cameron, to be honest.
27:20
Not that I wanted to use him as an excuse, but he and I were going to go
27:23
to Ireland,
27:25
in his winter break
27:28
from southern, which would have been, oh, I mean, like December.
27:32
January. Yeah.
27:33
And then he selfishly went and had a stroke.
27:36
Damn him.
27:37
So, but he loves, loves love going to Ireland.
27:40
And I heard this beautiful view.
27:43
So what's your plan?
27:44
You have some corned beef cabbage today or.
27:46
Tony.
27:47
No, I actually went so that you don't do that.
27:50
They don't do that in Ireland.
27:52
What do they probably do?
27:54
I don't know, I mean my kids have always been really picky eaters, so.
27:58
Yeah.
27:59
But I did
28:02
I was up really early to, to class this morning at 510.
28:05
So I look around and I went to this little place
28:08
where it's, it's a cute little like, shack.
28:12
Yeah. They have baked goods and everything.
28:14
And I didn't realize that they were going to be close
28:16
to seven in the morning because I knew that they would have some green cookies.
28:20
Green cookies. But my kids know.
28:23
I bet they laugh because we are the least traditional Irish.
28:27
Yeah.
28:29
It's just we just have, like, like, brought up that way.
28:33
It was just different. Very, very different.
28:34
So what do I do today?
28:37
And let me tell you, really just got to do not do any Irish dancing.
28:41
I cannot listen, listen, there is something about people dancing
28:45
without moving their arms that freaks me out.
28:49
I have to show you a video.
28:51
I don't want to say it.
28:51
No, I'm showing you my father. And he was dead.
28:54
Oh my God, move your arms.
28:56
What is wrong with you people anyway?
28:58
Listen, I just want to thank you for opening up
29:01
and, you know, sharing with, you know, our audience.
29:04
You know your life because, you know,
29:07
just thank you for that.
29:09
And I'm sure they're going to enjoy the show.
29:11
But listen, we'll see you next time on Tony and Sarah Unscripted.
29:15
Have a good one.