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Waiting Is Holy Business: When God Doesn’t Meet Your Timeline · The Habit Lab

• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: We all have areas in our life we might feel stuck or overwhelmed.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: So join me, Jenna Zint, habit coach, teacher, and follower of Jesus, as we go after little bits of better by building offensively small habits that create big impact.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: This is the Habit Lab Podcast.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome to Habit Lab.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: I am Jenna Zint.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I, every summer, I live on the West Coast.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: I live in California, and my family lives in on the East Coast.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: They actually, it's funny, we were almost coast to coast.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: My family lives on this little island off the coast of North Carolina.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's called the Outer Banks.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, there is a Netflix show named after it.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: I have not actually watched it, but from what I can hear, it is not, it is not accurate.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: There's not treasure hunts constantly happening.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: Though, I mean, we do talk about it because there are so many, so many pirate or just shipwrecks in general from the coast.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's this little barrier island, so it's called the graveyard of the Atlantic because so many, for hundreds of years, so many ships would hit the really shallow, shifting sandbars outside of, you know, on the waters.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, actually, my town fun fact that I grew up in was called Kill Devil Hills.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: Kill Devil Hills, y'all.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: And if you can imagine, because I grew up in a pretty like a charismatic small little church, um, and we'd often have traveling evangelists or traveling prophetic ministers, and it was so common for them to say, sorry, I was giggling because um my young self would laugh.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'd be I'd wait for the prophetic word to be like, and the name of your town is prophetic, that you guys and what the Lord's gonna do here is gonna kill the devil, you know.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm not mocking them, but I it always made me giggle growing up when inevitably that would be one of the words we'd get from our town.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but the reason I bring up my name my town's name is because uh where it came from was that there was a famous shipwreck with alcohol on it, rum, and it was so strong, it was um the rum was known to kill the devil.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's how strong it was.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: So a ton of these barrels washed up on shore and they, you know, bootlegged it or sold it or whatever.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: But um, that shipwreck was so famous that the town's name actually came from that, which is hilarious because you know, when you found out the origin stories is about really potent alcohol from pirates, it's like so different than the prophetic meeting, but I love it.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, the Lord can redeem all things, even the name of my small little town.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but so the point is I go home every year, and um this year we go, we try to go home for two weeks.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: My husband goes home for one week, and I stay for another week after the kids are gone because it's financially we can't afford to go home multiple times.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: So going home a little longer allows my kids to get in the rhythms of my parents' life.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it is, it is not just vacation.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's awesome that they live in a beach, but staying longer, we literally like eat leftovers together and meal prep together and grocery shop and who's gonna go with grandma on her nightly walk with the dog.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: And okay, who um are we going to grandma's church this week or grandpa's church?
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: And that was part of my heart, is that they would, my kids would get a piece of my parents' life, not just a short visit.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but that being said, like it is harder, you know, because we're in tight spaces for long periods of time, but also whenever I'm paying the quote unquote cost of it, I remind myself that what the big picture goal is.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, to be honest, all things with habits or when you're living with intention, there is a time when you pay the cost for a choice you made, and you have to go back and re-coach or like um preach to yourself, I call it, to remind myself that the cost does not mean it was a bad choice, that it's an investment versus like, uh, you know, this isn't worth it, or it's too hard, you know, parenting solo for more than a week by myself, or or when I, y'all, if you're if you're thinking through what this means, yes, I flew home multiple times cross-country with newborns and two kids or three kids or you know, however many kids I had with crying babies by myself.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: And it was so hard.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: There were times like that I would get puked on.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: I remember there's some one time I got the baby diaper leaked all at the beginning of the 12 plus hour travel day, um, cried the whole way.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Another kiddo like threw up.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: It was so I remember getting to California and I was like, I don't know that it's worth it.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm so grateful that this the compromise was that I'd only do one of those ways with the flights by myself, and Aaron would always be the other way.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: But it made me have a muscle of I'm not afraid of airplanes with my kiddos.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I feel so grateful.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: And it kind of reminds me of exercise.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: When you do the reps enough, you get a skill set and a strength that are are like invaluable.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: So I feel very grateful to not feel like can Aaron, is Aaron gonna be with me or does it work with his schedule to to be a limiting factor with what we do with the kiddos or my my kids' connections with my parents?
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um okay, that being said, I I'm gonna change gears and it's gonna be a smidge of a rough.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: The point of this, um, there's a little, there's a sweet testimony that I felt like the Lord was like, oh, this is I want you to like talk about when you wait well, how differently our timelines are from when we expect an answered prayer or a promise to be answered or even a word the Lord gave us, and how different, how dramatically, drastically different the Lord's timeline is.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and how kind of essential to wait well or not let discouragement or disappointment, I call it, forecast your future while you're waiting.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and there's a sweet intercessor at our church who she texts all those of us who are on the women's leadership team um for a couple years now, she texts us once a month to ask for the prayer requests.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: And she gave me this great line.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: So shout out to Miss Deborah Starr, and she said, she said one time, she's like, waiting is holy business.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times we think it's kind of like this twiddle of the thumbs, or did we miss it, or we can just get really in our heads and waiting.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: But the idea of shifting gears and even going back biblically to see how waiting for promises fulfilled is a huge part of the stories.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: But we get the complete stories, so we know how it ends, and we can kind of miss the length of time sometimes in the waiting.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: So um, with my Bible group this year, oh man, I love those women.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: We just had our August calls, and I look forward to we said some we said the other day it feels like a potluck where I bring what I got from this month's reading, but then inevitably three other people bring something totally different, and it's crazy to be reading the same scripture and get such profoundly different things that are being highlighted, or the Lord speaking to you.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: So one of the things in reading the Old Testament this round in 2026, um, we're reading the whole Bible, it's just an abbreviated, but we're still in the Old Testament, obviously, um, was I felt like the Lord calling me to notice the lengths of times of waiting.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I would write in my margins.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: You guys know that I have um, I'm a really big advocate of getting those journal Bibles that you can write in the margins because it's so helpful.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: It treat it treats it like a journal slash an interactive study to me versus like something having to be profound before before I write it.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: So one of the things I when I go through the year is like when the Lord's like, okay, I want you to notice this as you're reading scripture for the whole year.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: For me, one of the things has been waiting well and noticing how biblically waiting for promises fulfilled is just all over the pages.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: So I would write in the margins a lot of things, like how long, like when I notice a promise fulfilled, I'd go back and either try to figure out the numbers or ask Chat GBT how long of a wait that was.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: And just it's just shocking how long these waits are.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: But when you read the promise and then a chapter later it's fulfilled, it's all it's easy to miss the years, you know, um, in that.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: So that is part of what I'm gonna talk about with the testimony of my visit with my family this year, how many prayers fulfilled it was.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: And like, I'm not saying that I waited well all the time.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: Young Jenna did not wait well all the time, but just coming to this full circle moment.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: I love it when you I think that's one of the profound things of reading the Bible in a plan.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: I used to more prophetically read it where I emotionally felt like I needed or whatever.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not, I'm not against those.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: I do that.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's like I do that in addition to my plan.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: But what it's been so cool is watching these like slow long themes for the year that the Lord's highlighting in almost like a history class moment with the Bible, where we just finished Kings.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: Feels a little bit like a history class of remembering, you know, every paragraph's a new king, and then how terrible or mediocre he was before he died, and then someone else came or overthrew him, threw him, or he was killed by his mom.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: So in those moments when the like the choosing to stick with a reading plan can feel so dry, noticing the theme of the year, again, waiting well.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: What is it that Deborah said that waiting is holy business?
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, watching that overlap, because it was I was reading Kings while I was, you know, the um with my family, with watching Promises Fulfilled, generations getting passed down.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's just cool to be like, oh, there's never the words never dry.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: Even if there are moments that feel like books that feel more like historical records, the the the ability for the Holy Spirit to tie it into your real life and to feel teary while reading like something that feels so dry.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: You're like, oh, your word really is like alive.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's been really profound to me to see the plan, him honor the annual plan with so much meat in life versus a task.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: Does that make sense?
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just getting into task mode of opening my Bible to read the chapter for the day.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, okay, so backing up, I'm gonna give a little bit of a caveat before I jump into this because I'm I'm not sure if it's uh tender, so I'm gonna make sure I address it well.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: But um, my stepmom, so my dad's mom, um, I don't know if I've mentioned it clearly, but my parents got married, both got remarried, so they've been divorced since I was in middle school, and they both got remarried the year Aaron and I got married, so 2009.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: Our whole we I tease that everybody but my brother got married in 2009 in our family.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: Uh Aaron and I got married first, and then my mom, and then my dad.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: And um, a couple years ago, I think this is our second summer without my stepdad, he passed away, and then my stepmom actually uh passed away this June.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: So she she had a oh, I feel teary.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: She it's I don't want to go into it too much because her family is private, and I don't want to make it content, you know, like um I feel a tenderness to not do that, but it would feel I it's relevant to the testimony that I'm gonna share as well, and I just wanted to mention it.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: But um, she passed away from cancer and she'd been fighting it for a little less than a year, but her actual death was um more of a surprise how quickly the end came, if that makes sense.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: So um when we were oh, I feel so tender.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: So a lot of this year and this summer has been processing that and just hearing the Lord and navigating grief for myself, being there with my dad and to the level that's appropriate for my stepfamily, um, respecting their wishes of yeah, of that level of appropriateness.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: Again, gonna be I I love how on the podcast we've we've been, you know, we're so open with errands in my life, but an awareness of when it's not our story to tell.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you guys understanding why I'm being intentionally vague.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um but yeah, so going into our visit this year, knowing that, okay, obviously it's gonna look so different.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: And even you can find kindness in even hard of the Lord and even hard stuff, but having our trip planned for about a month after she passed so that my dad and his st the stepfamily could have their privacy and and do all the logistic stuff that comes with end of life, which is just shocking now going through two um stepparents' deaths recently, how much it almost feels cruel how much admin you have to do in the middle of deep heart pain, you know.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: But um our trip had been planned, so then we got to be there with my dad while the grief was still fresh because I'd want to not miss that w with him, you know, but then they got the privacy to wrap up things before we came.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: So um, yeah, so it's just such a different trip, which we expected.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but the testimony of this story is uh that how the Lord can actually truly bring bring beauty from ashes.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: So what I'm not saying is that, you know, this wasn't a grief-filled trip, or that it was all roses, or that my dad has moved on, like he will be, you know, in the grief for months, years, you know, his life's gonna look different forever now, now with this chapter and her her life um not being here on earth with us anymore.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: But what I'm gonna so that being said, I just needed to respect and say like that is true and the testimony of some of the things that I prayed for in high school on the heels of my parents' divorce, you know, years before any stepparents were in the picture.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: It was just so stunning.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I feel so teary to watch the Lord weave.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I call him the uh spin doctor extraordinaire, where he can use all things for good.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I think of him as weaving things like prayers and promises that I haven't thought of in years or decades, in this case, from my childhood, about reconciliation with my parents and redemption or restoration with our family unit.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, never would I, if you had asked me, oh, I still feel so teary, thinking going back to like waiting well and promises fulfilled and how different our timelines are than the Lord's are, and even how different our expectations, even when we think we're being gracious of like, I'll wait for five years, God, you know, like however long it takes, and looking back, like, gosh, I mean, Abraham, the promise between Abraham and when he actually got Isaac, his son, was 25 years, or we just did Sam, we finished Samuel as a Bible group um in like June, and watching David's hairied journey from prophecy, like he wasn't even looking for this promise, you know.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: He got anointed, he got pulled off the field and got anointed midshift.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: Pardon me as I was reading this here.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, I wonder if he was like, this is so messy.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: I don't fully know what's happening as the oil is like dripping down his clothes and and his hair and all the things.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: But he had 15 years before when he was anointed to when he actually took the throne.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: At least, you know, scholars slightly different.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: Or um thinking about when Abraham got the promise for like the land, like a a promised, like literally the promised land, it was generations before they actually went to the promised land, like four was it, was it 400 years?
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't write that part down, but it's just shocking when you look at the waiting, that how how much a proponent of waiting in the Bible promises prayers answered.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: It is, and I I the reason I feel like it's worth bringing up is because I in my own life and then with coaching, I love how our most people in our stream believe they can hear the Lord, so we can hear the voice of the Lord for ourselves, that we have a relationship with the Holy Spirit, so we hear words from the Lord, we hear promises over our lives.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: We, you know, we're not at the mercy of another party or a priest or wait to hear what we feel like the Lord's saying for us or calling us to or obedience.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: But I think the thing that I notice where we miss it, like where disappointment or pain or hope deferred can really come in, is in two things application of the promise, like how we think it's gonna look.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: But then the second, what I'm just talking about this episode today, is in the timeline, how different the timeline is from the promises or the words.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_00: So just getting one of the things I've been going after in the last year is like, Lord, when he get when I get a promise or prophetically feel like something, or someone else gives me a word, or I'm praying a prayer that I feel like aligns with what he's doing, or you know, like so prayer answered, a promise fulfilled, prophetic word to come to pass, any of those things I want to classify under, we have to get better at submitting our timeline, like letting go of our timeline and letting it be his timeline.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because it almost feels like in promises, in prayers, in prophetic words, if we don't let go of our idea of a timeline, even a reasonable timeline, it's almost like what was meant to help us thrive could actually be a thorn in our flesh of disappointment or hope deferred if we get caught up on the timeline.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: So I've just been trying to go back a bunch of these things in my life and submit my timeline to his.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, okay, hey, you know what?
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's it could be 25, it could be 15, it could be this could be a word that's fulfilled, a prayer that's answered in Audrey's life, in in her kids' life.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and getting back to like almost like having my heart.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: I don't, you don't actually owe me God an explanation.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes he tells, tells them words, but I don't think David didn't know he had 15 years.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: I think Abraham, when he was talking about the promised land, I think he did give him like something they said 400 years of being oppressed.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so he gave, but I think this idea of sometimes we dem in a prayer, we know that we have, you know, almost let's say the right as kids to pray prayers that are going to be fulfilled, to hold on to promises, to hold on prophetic words, but it's this timeline piece where hope deferred, disappointment, pain, doubt in the Lord, or do we hear him?
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: Is he wrong?
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_00: Am I wrong?
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: Versus like, oh, that I I realized I had an unvocalized expectation of the timeline and it is different than I have.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: And then just noticing them and then um giving them back to the Lord.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like, hey, I was thinking two years was gonna be reasonable.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: We're already past the two years mark, and I'm like, did you forget about me?
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: But instead of assuming ever the Lord's character is flawed or one of his promises won't come true, or you like the prophetic word isn't XYZ, I've have tried to go back to like, ooh, I had an unvocalized timeline here, and I'm trying to get really good about giving you back your timeline because you are God and I'm not.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: And even though I think you quote unquote missed the mark or missed the window of time, or I must not have heard, instead of doubting him at all, or even getting kind of introspective about me, like, did I miss it?
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_00: Be like, hey, did I miss the timeline?
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what is this timeline?
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna um didn't realize I had a tight gris grasp on an unvocalized expectation of a timeline, but I'm gonna release it and I'm gonna trust that you see things as the spin doctor extraordinaire in redemption plans and reconciliation uh strategies and timelines that I can't.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of assuming you missed it or I missed it, which is kind of the common thing I hear people go back to all the time, um, going be like, okay, this timeline's looking different.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: The application might be different, but those are the two ways that I'm like going back to giving them to the Lord and be like, where what should I do?
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm open-handed, I release my timeline to yours.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: I actually trust you because you're God and I'm not, and I'm really grateful I'm not.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for that role.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, some of these things questionable, like I think you must have missed it, but because you know things I don't, I'm gonna trust that you have not missed your window of opportunity for that prayer to be answered.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: So that's kind of setting the stage for um me talking about my testimony of my timeline with my family for this summer.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_00: So when my parents got divorced, I did not want them to get back together as is because their marriage was very volatile and it was um, I would say it would feel to feel safe to say it was dangerous, even not only for each other's physical well-being, emotional well-being, mental well-being, but then also for us as kids.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I actually felt relief when my parents got divorced, hoping that the fights and the volatility in the I mean rage, honestly, would come to an end.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: So when I say that I started praying for their reconciliation when I was in high school, it was not that it was very clear with the Lord.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: So they got divorced in middle school, and I was kind of like, whoo, okay, is this gonna pray?
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like, thank you, the battle's over.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: Did not, it did not go exactly like that because you know, both of them, those humans, that's the irony about divorce is that you're left with your own dysfunctions, even after the person who you had a covenant with who probably triggered some of your dysfunctions, like you still have your own half of the dysfunction.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_00: So watching that play out firsthand as a kiddo has made me a little more somber about the reprieve, quote unquote, that maybe divorce could or couldn't bring.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but anyways, fast forward.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_00: So once I got out of the whew, we're done.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_00: Hopefully, the chaos and the fighting and the volatility is over over, I got to high school and I just started feeling like um started shifted my my prayer as I was getting to know the Lord better and even feeling some prophetic words about reconciliation for my parents, redemption, restoration.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: Those would probably be the three.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I felt it so strongly that like as a high schooler, actually, high school and through college, I would regularly pre fast and pray for for that to be true.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't think I don't I think I probably got a few words from the Lord about it.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: I can't remember anyone outside of like me and my own walk with the Lord, but then also like just.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: Prayers, like it felt like okay, I won't limit to what this looks like, but I know this is in your heart, so I'm gonna hold on to this.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I just like went after it for years, you guys.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_00: So um fast forward, like thinking years was all it was gonna take.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just like the Lord again, timeline going back to timeline.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: It was on delay, okay, I can wait.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_00: So then, um, like I said, when my parents actually all got married the same year that I got married, I actually had a good amount of like hope deferred or disappointment I had to work through because of how strongly I had held on to the restoration, reconciliation prayers of my, you know, the years of that I had invested into that.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I do want to say that with some clarity, in case it matters, I had been praying that not the same parents who got divorced would get remarried, but that the Lord would do a really solid, thorough work in their hearts so that their dysfunctions would be healed, so that wholer, fuller versions of themselves would be the ones, you know, that I thought would be restored, reconciled, etc.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: So that felt like, oh yeah, look at me bringing some mature prayers.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then when they got married in 2009 to different people, I remember being like, I guess I missed it.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I guess, you know, like this is gonna be in I just had to sit with the Lord and I didn't really get answers.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's probably the hard part is when you're dealing with some timeline issues or waiting for promises, prayers, or prophecies to be fulfilled and you're not seeing them fulfilled, or even you get a left turn that looks like the opposite, like that when my parents got divorced or got remarried.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: I misspoke, sorry.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it felt like a left turn opposite of what I had been praying and hoped for.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and just instead of like almost being offended at the Lord, choosing this like going back to the I'm God, you're God and I'm not, going to be like, okay, I don't get it.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: I feel sad.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_00: You say my prayers aren't wasted.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: Confused how this could could be written any other way than not reconciliation or redemption.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_00: And then um, probably a decade into my parents' marriage, um, but leaving it open-handed, not decidingly not doubting his character, that my perspective or either he wasn't done or my perspective needed to be shifted to see things like he did.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but it's not instant, it's not like it takes away the like, okay, I prayed for years as a kid, fasted and prayed for the reconciliation redemption, and they just got remarried.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: God, what the heck?
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, okay, but I'm not gonna question you.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna leave a question mark open-handed for this, this unanswered prayer, this timeline of a promise that is not happening.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: So fast forward this summer, because of the differences of their um marital situation, since neither of them are married.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: This is not, I should just tell you right now to if anyone's in suspense, my parents are not gonna get remarried.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: So that is not where this is going.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but because of them not having spouses, you know, obviously all of us when we're married consider their schedule, their work schedule, their flow, their preferences.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_00: Even when your kiddos come into town from across the country, of course, my parents prioritize us, but that does not mean there's not other considerations with their spouses.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_00: So this being the first year where there was not consideration, there was no, obviously, no jubilee, jubilant uh in my heart because of being so much mourning with my stepmom passing and for my dad.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but the really practical aspect is that you guys on this trip, we spent so much time.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I feel really teary as a family of uh four.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_00: My brother was with us for bits too.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_00: We went to church all together.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_00: We went to my childhood church all together and we sat together on a row.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like they weren't next to each other, but like there was this moment as I was I went to check my kiddos in to church, the children's church that I went to, and was coming back, and I saw them all on a row, and I was like, wow, if you had told my middle school self that this would happen and it would be kind and thoughtful and considerate, and we were planning on what we were gonna do all together for lunch afterwards, like I don't remember the level of um amiableness and thoughtfulness and kind and like friendship between my parents.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't have a memory of that, let alone like this is the same place, but like seeing totally I still feel so dairy, so different parents in the that row together.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_00: And it was funny because so many people that I went to church with still go to church, and someone had said they're chatting with me casually, and then they're like, wait, is that your mom and dad?
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: Are they here together?
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_00: Did you guys all come together?
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: And it was like that's how wow, oh wow, okay, cool.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: That's that's stunning.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_00: And as I was sitting down, the Lord just as I was there, this is the whole point of the podcast, is his timelines for rec restoration and promises and prayers, how they're so different than our timelines, but he can do it, he can even be bring beauty from ashes.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like I would say this summer in the midst of mourning, my stepmom, the the beauty from ashes would be this level of connection and friendship as a whole family unit that we like never even experienced growing up.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, it was that moment where the Lord reminded me of those prayers in my high school years and how much I had prayed, and I just felt so tender from him to be like, it might not have looked like you had thought restoration, reconciliation, and redemption would look like.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: But this is absolutely like I did not miss those prayers.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_00: They were not wasted, they were not delayed, they didn't miss the window of opportunity, like I didn't miss my moment.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_00: Your parents choosing to marry other people didn't jack up my plan or hijack my sovereignty for the things you were praying for.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I just I felt so tender.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_00: And then another time my parents were all like we were driving, my mom was really sweet, and she bought us um a sunset cruise.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_00: We live again in the beach, so there's lots of harbors that you could go out of, and it was a sunset dolphin cruise, and she paid for all of us, and she realized that because of my she bought the tickets months in advance, my dad's availability now.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_00: She um bought his too.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_00: So we're all going to this cruise, sunset cruise that my mom paid for, which is just she's generous.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_00: But to then, you know, I'm going back to this theme of reconciliation, redemption, reconciliation or restoration.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_00: Too many Rs, y'all.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_00: Too many R's to watch her pay for my dad.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then my dad drove us all in his minivan.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_00: We're all together.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_00: My mom and dad and him are in the front seat and they're catching up about people they know.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_00: He's asking about different because she still lives in the house that they that he built before, and it's so kind, and they're they're laughing, y'all.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and I I get we get to the the dock or uh we got to where we're going, the parking lot, how about that?
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_00: And uh the ever the kids all unload and I just had a minute.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_00: I had to like take a minute in the backseat because with the Holy Spirit, because I was like watching them.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_00: It feels so casual to our kids, they they wouldn't recognize it as different, but as I was sitting there, I was like, I don't remember a time in my childhood where my parents weren't fighting or hostile, like car rides were kind of the worst because they were trapped so close to each other and the hostility and the anger that would just increase the longer we in the car together.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like car rides were the worst, in my opinion.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like I remember physically having anxiousness and dread about the level of a fight that they would get in.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_00: So then to experience what's looked so natural and normal and even talking about old, you know, like about her how the house that he built that she lives in.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_00: And he gave her a compliment at one point and he was like, You've done such a good job taking care of that house.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's I'm like, I'm so impressed.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_00: I know you've done a you have done a better job than I ever would.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, something to that level of a comment.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so they're all getting out, and I just sitting with the Holy Spirit in the backseat of the minivan, having witnessed that and being like, wow, God, like your timeline, like nothing can stop your timeline for promises, for prayers, for uh prophetic things, like prophetic words we're holding on.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm sorry, like, I'm sorry that in my short-minded humanity, because it's been 25 years, y'all.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_00: I was thinking about it because writing this episode, going back to waiting is uh holy business, thinking of like it it was 25 years, and I thought the window had had closed, but this the theme of this trip with my family this year as I was there was just watching, like it's never too late, and watching the Lord, like it just kept on feeling like there'd be these Holy Spirit moments where I'd see something I'd never seen between my parents, or we'd all be eating together, or like my dad was helping my mom with something around the house, like generously, and it was so amiable and just different things that that I would be the Holy Spirit would be like, nothing's beyond my timeline, my timeline's never off.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_00: Promises and prayers are never lost or wasted.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like, can you trust my timeline and other things as you're watching such a full, full job, like full circle moment from those prayers that high school Jenna, those fast, those days of fasting.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm laughing.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes they would just be mornings of fasting because that's all I had had in me.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_00: But um, to watch him, it just that was the the theme of this visit was wow, things that I thought had forgotten, lost the window, were beyond, had not even chosen to give it up to, but just kind of like I don't know that sometimes you get weary in the waiting and you don't have the strength to persevere and hold it at the forefront.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_00: But holding the time like when the timeline's so different than what you expect, hoping it, holding it open-handedly.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I actually have found sometimes it's best for me on prayers that I'm waiting for to be answered to stop going back to like, how many more years, God?
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_00: Because I can't handle the answer.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if my 15-year-old self had heard it'll be 25 years, to be honest, I probably would have been discouraged and given up prayer and would not have done the rest of the years that I did, you know, like contending because that would have felt like discouraging too long.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_00: So I think sometimes it's wisdom when the timeline and you feel like weary in the waiting to not ask the when, but to go to this trust spot where you just let go of the timeline.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_00: You're honest that you have some disappointment, but you trust him.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_00: And then I've I stop asking when I'm getting a little weary with waiting.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, nope, you know what?
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's probably best that I don't know.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_00: But I trust that you're never late.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_00: You are not in a rush, but you're also never behind.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope that leaves the point of this was just feeling like wanting to encourage those of you who have prayers, promises, or prophetic words that you have felt like you've passed the window, like truly, like that year that we all got married.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Well, guess that's never happening.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_00: To then fast forward to see so many things like the Lord almost like wrap up, things I had forgotten and tied with the boat, like meals.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_00: We ate most of our meals together this trip.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_00: And my dad gave it my mom money voluntarily because he's like, you know what?
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_00: You fed me so much.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like, thank you.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_00: Here, I hope some of this covers the the grocery.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, what is this world?
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like, even six years ago, there was fights about uh when we came to town, was the grocery bill split evenly.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_00: So to have the oh, I feel so tender.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's just stunning, you guys.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I my hope is that you would hear the testimony of the he has not missed his window.
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's not too late.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's you haven't missed it.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_00: He is not not sovereign suddenly because of X, Y, or Z.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_00: But can you like hold your timeline open-handed?
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_00: Can you release it and trust that he's not behind, he's not in a rush, and he's perfectly on time for the things that you're waiting for.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_00: Huh.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna end it with at one point, I think I can't remember what when it was, but we got out of the minivan.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_00: Again, we were all together because we rode, we rode together so many times because it just made sense, and it was now an option when it hadn't been before, with their um ease of connection with between each other.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_00: And at one point, Audrey asked, I think it was Audrey, she asked me, she's like, I don't, I don't understand why grandma and grandpa got divorced, because like, look, and she like pointed, she was like, they're so kind to each other.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_00: They're and it's it is this point of me that I'm like, I don't remember what I said.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I I yeah, like I said something about like it is it's cool watching how nice and friendly they've been.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't like this when I was a kiddo, but it's amazing what the Lord can do.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_00: So uh He can do it all, y'all.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_00: He can, he will.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_00: Just don't grow weary in the waiting.
• 37:27
  SPEAKER_00: Waiting is holy business and just releasing your timeline to his.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_00: He's never he's never behind.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_00: He hasn't missed it.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I hope that encourages you.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_00: Have a great week.