Latest / The Ben Maller Show / Hour 1 - Not Joe Cool

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Hour 1 - Not Joe Cool · The Ben Maller Show

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Speaker 1: Here we go! It's hour number one! Hour one, Ben
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Speaker 1: Maller Show, bringing the razzle-dazzle here on this Friday, the
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Speaker 1: sixth day of November. It is a last show of
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Speaker 1: the week for us, which means the fifth hour podcast
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Speaker 1: takes over, so we have fresh audio content every single day,
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Speaker 1: twice a couple of times. Friday, we get two episodes.
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Speaker 1: And then on Sunday and Saturday, you get one episode
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Speaker 1: of the 5th Hour Podcast. So make sure to check
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Speaker 1: that out wherever you get your podcasts, wherever you found
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Speaker 1: this podcast, the Ben Maller Show podcast. You can enjoy
0:40
Speaker 1: the 5th Hour, and it's a strawberry shortcake-heavy edition. You'll
0:46
Speaker 1: have to listen to understand what I'm talking about. But
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Speaker 1: it's all about strawberry shortcake on the 5th Hour Podcast Network.
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Speaker 1: later today. Here in our number one, how did things
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Speaker 1: go for Ravens undrafted rookie quarterback Joe Fagnano? How did
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Speaker 1: that go? We'll talk about that. Also, what's the word
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Speaker 1: for how Liam Cohn's Jaguars played? And how did Al
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Speaker 1: Michaels and company handle the blowout game as Ravens The
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Speaker 1: Ravens won going away, and we will document the many
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Speaker 1: things that Amazon turned to to try to keep people
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Speaker 1: listening and watching engaged. We'll get to all of that,
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Speaker 1: and who knows what else here on this Friday. It's
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Speaker 1: hour number one. Well, that was definitely not Joe Cool.
1:37
Speaker 1: Not sure what that was.
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Speaker 2: It was.
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Speaker 1: It wasn't professional football at its finest. Welcome in the
1:45
Speaker 1: beginning of another night of the Ben Maller Show. We
1:51
Speaker 1: are in the air everywhere. We make a connection. And
1:58
Speaker 1: we try not to bite the dust. Coast to coast,
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Speaker 1: border to border, and beyond. On the vast and bluntly
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Speaker 1: powerful microphones of FSR emanating live from the blend. As
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Speaker 1: our takes are marinated in the Maller proprietary blend of seasonings.
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Speaker 1: A secret recipe guaranteed human from the world famous Fox
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Speaker 1: Sports Radio Studios. where the Green Bay Gobbler, gobble, gobble, gobble,
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Speaker 1: reminds us that this hour, along with E-Dog from Long Island,
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Speaker 1: this hour made possible in part by our friends at Webull.
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Speaker 1: Webull Financial, LLC, member SIPC, FINRA. Investing involves risk. For
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Speaker 1: more information, visit Webull.com slash disclosures. Now, Uncle Mo from Jersey,
3:05
Speaker 1: my guy Uncle Mo, and the Sawman in Mississippi, They
3:10
Speaker 1: reached out. They said, you know who the one is, Ben?
3:12
Speaker 1: I said, I know who the one is. It's Fox 1.
3:14
Speaker 1: NFL Week 9 is here. The Packers versus the Patriots.
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Speaker 1: Sunday is America's Game of the Week, streaming live on
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Speaker 1: Fox 1. Now, if you miss it live, you're just
3:25
Speaker 1: watching a highlight. Don't be that person. Catch every play
3:29
Speaker 1: as it happens. Packers, Patriots, a lot of P's there.
3:34
Speaker 1: Packers and Patriots live on Fox 1 on Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.
3:41
Speaker 1: And we are back at it in the audio sweatshop,
3:44
Speaker 1: the dojo that does not stop. Open 24 hours a day.
3:48
Speaker 1: Coming up next hour. I'm already promoting ahead because some
3:51
Speaker 1: of you guys are addicted to calling the show. And
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Speaker 1: it's our Friday show. Still late Thursday in the West.
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Speaker 1: So on Friday, we have Benny versus the Penny. We've
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Speaker 1: handpicked the eight most important games on the NFL card
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Speaker 1: this week. And we're off to a 1-0 start. I
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Speaker 1: hate betting favorites, but thanks to Jacksonville for taking care
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Speaker 1: of business there. We'll get to that game here in
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Speaker 1: a minute. So we're off to a good start. We've
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Speaker 1: got the eight games we're going to pick here and
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Speaker 1: handicap those coming up in hour number two, which means
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Speaker 1: no calls. For some of you, this is salvation. You
4:21
Speaker 1: don't have to hear anything. from the normal knuckleheads that
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Speaker 1: call the show. And so if you are one of
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Speaker 1: the regulars or somebody that wants to call in, this
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Speaker 1: will be the hour to do it. We'll give out
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Speaker 1: the number in a couple, so just take note of that.
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Speaker 1: But our lead story from rainy Baltimore, and that was
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Speaker 1: the playground for the kickoff of NFL week number nine
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Speaker 1: as Trevor Lawrence and the Jaguars were on the prowl
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Speaker 1: visiting the state of Maryland where they have really good cake.
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Speaker 1: to take on the weather-beaten Ravens on that rainy night there.
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Speaker 1: Not cold, but rainy. Al Michaels and Kirk Herbstreit, along
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Speaker 1: with Dog Peter, the doggy, they had the call on Amazon.
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Speaker 1: So I'm not sure if you watched. Chances are you
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Speaker 1: didn't watch. Perhaps you missed it. Don't worry. It's our
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Speaker 1: public service here, our good mitzvah of the day. We
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Speaker 1: watched so you would not have to. And what did
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Speaker 1: we see? Well, we saw Trevor Lawrence, who had 242
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Speaker 1: yards and a touchdown. Jacksonville barely worked up a sweat.
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Speaker 1: They got wet from the rain. They didn't get wet
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Speaker 1: from a sweat. And Joe Fagnano, got to make sure
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Speaker 1: I say that properly. That would be an FCC violation.
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Speaker 1: much like a cigarette in Europe, but Joe Fagnano and
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Speaker 1: Baltimore get mollywhopped 33-10. Your final, the Ravens drop under.
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Speaker 3: 500.
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Speaker 1: They have now lost four straight games. I didn't play
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Speaker 1: in the NFL. I am told that is not good
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Speaker 1: when you've lost four straight games. The better story, though,
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Speaker 1: is in the losing locker room. And so let's discuss
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Speaker 1: a good jumping off point. And here we go. Here
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Speaker 1: we go. Now, before we get into it, let's hear
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Speaker 1: from the head coach of the Baltimore football team, which
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Speaker 1: is apparently a gentleman named Jesse Minter. You don't need
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Speaker 1: to learn that name. I don't think he'll be there
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Speaker 1: all that long. But here is Jesse Minter, the coach,
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Speaker 1: pointing out. This was a forgettable night of football for
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Speaker 1: his team.
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Speaker 2: There's no whatever. We don't have this guy. We don't
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Speaker 2: have that guy. We've got to make a decision. Again,
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Speaker 2: over this break, got a little bit of a break
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Speaker 2: for the guys to kind of mentally reset and come
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Speaker 2: back and seek improvement, really, in all three phases. That's
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Speaker 2: what we'll be after. Credit to our guys for fighting, but.
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Speaker 1: That's obviously a bare minimum. You always have to work
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Speaker 1: some kind of credit in. There was nothing positive to
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Speaker 1: take away from this game.
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Speaker 4: Nothing.
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Speaker 1: Zero. Zippo. Bupkis. But you can't say that as a coach.
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Speaker 1: You gotta give him credit for fighting. Dude, you just
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Speaker 1: lost by 23 points at home. Alright, let's get to
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Speaker 1: the quarterback, though, because everyone loves quarterbacks. They're more important people.
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Speaker 1: They make more money. They get better-looking women when they date.
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Speaker 1: You know, that kind of thing. So here's the question.
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Speaker 1: How did things go for the Ravens' undrafted rookie quarterback,
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Speaker 1: Joe Fagnano, in his first NFL start? So I've got
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Speaker 1: Barefoot Bandit, Jiffy Lube, and Filibuster. And we'll combine all
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Speaker 1: of these things together, and we will outfox the competition.
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Speaker 1: That's what we're going to do. So, A, the sports media,
7:37
Speaker 1: which I am not part of the mainstream. I'm on overnight. Mainstream,
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Speaker 1: 6 a.m., 6 p.m. That's mainstream. I'm not part of that.
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Speaker 1: I'm an occult here at night. The mainstream sports media
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Speaker 1: really wanted a fairy tale. Cinderella showing up to the ball. Oh, Cinderella.
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Speaker 4: Yeah.
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Speaker 1: When Jacksonville apparently decided they were going to commit some crimes,
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Speaker 1: they stole the glass slipper. They smashed the pumpkin with
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Speaker 1: a baseball bat and repossessed the carriage. That's the modern-day Cinderella.
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Speaker 1: That's it. You could practically hear the production truck at
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Speaker 1: Amazon and Al Michaels and Herbie trying to get a
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Speaker 1: hold of Disney to get the rights to the Cinderella story.
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Speaker 1: That first quarter was a one-score game. It was 10-3
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Speaker 1: at the end of the first quarter. They were trying
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Speaker 1: to manufacture the next Kurt Warner. Unfortunately, nobody told the
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Speaker 1: Jaguars they needed to cooperate. This was not David versus Goliath.
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Speaker 1: This was David forgetting the slingshot and getting run over
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Speaker 1: by a cement mixer. Where was that? I don't remember
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Speaker 1: reading that in the David versus Goliath story. I don't
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Speaker 1: recall a cement mixer being in there. What happened? So
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Speaker 1: it turns out that the quarterback, Joe Fagnano, had 10
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Speaker 1: completions for 60 yards. He had a 22.7 passer rating. Now,
9:04
Speaker 1: keep in mind, if you throw the ball into the
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Speaker 1: ground every single snap, hut, hut, hike, take the ball,
9:13
Speaker 1: you go back, and then you spike the ball into
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Speaker 1: the ground, you would have a 39.6 passer rating. So
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Speaker 1: on this night, the dirt had a better passer rating
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Speaker 1: than the Baltimore quarterback, and Fagnano... is not obviously an
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Speaker 1: NFL quarterback, but he had an opportunity. It's a great opportunity.
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Speaker 1: You talk about a brass ring opportunity to go out there,
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Speaker 1: you get one shot, one chance to show that you
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Speaker 1: know what you're doing and you deserve another opportunity. And
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Speaker 1: it turns out he was a crash test dummy who
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Speaker 1: happened to be wearing NFL merch. So forget about the
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Speaker 1: glass slipper as that did not happen. Fagnano was the
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Speaker 1: barefoot bandit on this night. The Ravens quarterback running through
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Speaker 1: a parking lot filled with broken beer bottles. in this
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Speaker 1: case also broken dreams so it turns out that fagnano
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Speaker 1: is a 99 percenter which there's nothing wrong with that
10:11
Speaker 1: being a 99 unfortunately the nfl is where the one
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Speaker 1: percenters eat the 99 percenters for breakfast or in this
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Speaker 1: case a late snack They had the munchies, is what
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Speaker 1: they had. All right, meanwhile, on the Jacksonville side, turning
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Speaker 1: the page, because we believe in truth in broadcasting. So
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Speaker 1: on the Jacksonville side, the question, what is the word?
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Speaker 1: What is the word for how Liam Cohn's Jaguars played
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Speaker 1: on this particular Thursday night, the lid lifter for Week
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Speaker 1: 9 in the NFL? So the word I wrote on
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Speaker 1: my notes app on my phone was workmanlike. Workman-like is
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Speaker 1: the word that I wrote. Do you have a different word?
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Speaker 1: I like my word, workman-like. I think that's a solid word.
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Speaker 1: It's the proper word. I came up with the word.
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Speaker 1: There were no circus tricks. There was not a lot
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Speaker 1: of razzle-dazzle. This was less a football spectacle. This was
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Speaker 1: not some kind of dramatic statement. You could not have
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Speaker 1: a statement in this situation for Jacksonville. This was more
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Speaker 1: of a routine oil change at Jiffy Lube. You go
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Speaker 1: in there, you show up, you get a couple of
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Speaker 1: quarts of oil, and you move on with your day.
11:18
Speaker 1: And you go get something to drink or a donut
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Speaker 1: or something like that. That's what you do. That's the
11:23
Speaker 1: move right there. That's it. And they did it. So
11:28
Speaker 1: we do give Liam Combs some credit, not too much,
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Speaker 1: because you did what you're supposed to do. But I
11:33
Speaker 1: have seen so many times on the NFL, talking about
11:37
Speaker 1: the NFL, we've all seen it, teams that are supposed
11:40
Speaker 1: to show up and just win. and get it done,
11:43
Speaker 1: and they F up. And they screw up, and the
11:47
Speaker 1: Rams lost to the Arizona Cardinals. The Cowboys have lost.
11:50
Speaker 1: I guess they're our bad team. That's not a good example.
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Speaker 1: But Jacksonville, his team did not get cute. They didn't
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Speaker 1: get fancy. There was not a lot of fancy. They
12:00
Speaker 1: handled their business. Jacksonville did not need to reinvent anything.
12:04
Speaker 1: the football against Baltimore operating with a make-a-wish candidate, a quarterback,
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Speaker 1: the emergency quarterback. They showed up, and they punched the clock.
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Speaker 1: They had their lunchbox, and they collected the win. And
12:20
Speaker 1: upward and onward, you're into the win column. Here's Trevor Lawrence,
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Speaker 1: the Jacksonville quarterback, who was okay. He wasn't amazing. But
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Speaker 1: here's Trevor Lawrence, and he's about to put some knee
12:31
Speaker 1: pads on for his head coach. He's great.
12:33
Speaker 5: I mean, he's relentless the way he prepares, just the
12:36
Speaker 5: way he thinks. I think he's a great leader for
12:38
Speaker 5: our team. You know, guys respond really well to how
12:41
Speaker 5: he leads. He's got a lot of energy, a lot
12:43
Speaker 5: of enthusiasm, brings the juice every day.
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Speaker 1: Brings the juice. What kind of– is it orange juice,
12:49
Speaker 1: grape juice, cranberry juice? Apple juice. Apple juice. Okay, there
12:54
Speaker 1: you go. Brings the apple juice. That's outstanding. There you go. So, again,
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Speaker 1: my mantra– You don't get extra credit for doing what
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Speaker 1: you're supposed to do. But the pigskin gods ordered some
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Speaker 1: sprinkles cupcakes on Uber Eats. Femi, the Uber Eats driver,
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Speaker 1: he actually drove all the way from Minnesota to Baltimore
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Speaker 1: to deliver the sprinkles cupcakes. And the Jaguars had the
13:16
Speaker 1: good sense to not play with the cupcakes. They didn't
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Speaker 1: futz around with the frosting. They didn't choke on anything.
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Speaker 1: And that's it. You don't have to overcomplicate things against
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Speaker 1: an overmatched opponent. The Ravens were shorthanded playing without a
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Speaker 1: real quarterback. So Jacksonville, they didn't win the beauty pageant.
13:37
Speaker 1: They passed the quarterly performance review is what they did. Now,
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Speaker 1: last word. We now go to the broadcast itself on
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Speaker 1: the Amazon. So Jacksonville came in. There was not a
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Speaker 1: lot of, to use the word Trevor Lawrence just used, juice.
13:52
Speaker 1: There was not a lot of excitement for this game.
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Speaker 1: This was not a sexy matchup. Jacksonville's the London team.
13:59
Speaker 1: They're more of a London team than an American team,
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Speaker 1: and Baltimore has their fan base, but they don't have
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Speaker 1: a quarterback. So Jacksonville was a 10-point road favorite. Very
14:09
Speaker 1: rare that you will see a 10-point road favorite in
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Speaker 1: the NFL. And they went out and they manhandled the Ravens,
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Speaker 1: as we've talked about here, as anticipated. The question, how
14:18
Speaker 1: did Al Michaels and company handle the blowout game over
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Speaker 1: there on Amazon? So they emptied the cannons is what
14:26
Speaker 1: they did. Now, I kept the game on because there's
14:29
Speaker 1: really nothing else to watch. So I had the game on,
14:32
Speaker 1: and I was as engaged as I had been. No,
14:35
Speaker 1: but I had the game on. I had the audio on.
14:37
Speaker 1: And that's a tribute to Al Michaels. When Doris Burke's
14:41
Speaker 1: doing a game, I hit the mute button. I don't listen.
14:44
Speaker 1: But when Al Michaels does a game, I want to
14:45
Speaker 1: hear what he has to say. I want to hear
14:47
Speaker 1: what he has to say. So I kept the TV on.
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Speaker 1: By the fourth quarter... The ammunition depot was bone dry,
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Speaker 1: even though it was raining. There was no artillery remaining.
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Speaker 1: Al Michaels and Kirk Curbstreet and that production crew had
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Speaker 1: gone from NFL broadcasting to the spam special. You had
15:07
Speaker 1: the mystery meat off to the right. You had some
15:09
Speaker 1: reheated leftovers off to the left and whatever else you
15:13
Speaker 1: could scrape out of the back of the refrigerator. that
15:16
Speaker 1: didn't have mold on it. They were even going into
15:19
Speaker 1: the freezer and they were taking some bag of potato,
15:23
Speaker 1: like some fries they had in the, in the freezer
15:25
Speaker 1: and they had freezer burn and they were going to
15:27
Speaker 1: cook that as well. That's how, how bad it was.
15:30
Speaker 1: And so they had started the night as the three
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Speaker 1: musketeers trying to turn Joe Fagnano into the, the great, Cinderella,
15:41
Speaker 1: as we talked about the Cinderella story. Of course, that
15:44
Speaker 1: only worked for about a quarter and a half. And
15:47
Speaker 1: then by the fourth quarter, by the fourth quarter, they
15:50
Speaker 1: were rummaging through the NFL attic. And Al Michaels told
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Speaker 1: a Tom Coughlin car dealership story about how he ended
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Speaker 1: up coaching Jacksonville when he was in. Boston College and
16:04
Speaker 1: this whole thing about caller ID and Tom Coughlin thought
16:08
Speaker 1: the person calling was talking about a Jaguar car, not
16:13
Speaker 1: a football team because that was an expansion team and whatnot.
16:17
Speaker 1: And then they even discussed the Duluth Eskimos, which I
16:23
Speaker 1: believe I saw a photo, and it looked like Curmudgeon
16:26
Speaker 1: Wayne was playing for the Duluth Eskimos. the guy that
16:32
Speaker 1: hides behind his social media account there. But they were
16:35
Speaker 1: so excited about a helmetless Duluth Eskimo, which was like
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Speaker 1: an early NFL team before the NFL went corporate and
16:42
Speaker 1: all that years ago. They also spent a lot of
16:45
Speaker 1: time explaining how Joe Fagnano brought his playbook on his honeymoon.
16:50
Speaker 1: They made sure to show his pride on TV quite
16:54
Speaker 1: a bit. I don't know if that counts as the
16:56
Speaker 1: honey shot. I mean, she was all right, but I
16:58
Speaker 1: don't think that was the honey shot. Al Michaels was
17:04
Speaker 1: essentially communicating with the ghosts of football pass. Good old
17:07
Speaker 1: Al there, because the football president had flatlined. They were
17:12
Speaker 1: conducting a three-hour filibuster, is what they were doing. And
17:17
Speaker 1: much like in D.C., the filibuster. At that point, the
17:22
Speaker 1: only thing missing... They didn't discuss UFOs landing. That would
17:28
Speaker 1: have been really cool if some goblins had landed at
17:31
Speaker 1: the 45-yard line right at midfield there and then abducted
17:36
Speaker 1: Kirk Herbstreet. Wouldn't that have been great? That would have
17:39
Speaker 1: been our lead, by the way. I'd like to let
17:41
Speaker 1: you know that would have been our lead. If the
17:44
Speaker 1: aliens had come down, the lizard people, and they had
17:47
Speaker 1: abducted Kirk Herbstreet and his dog Peter, that would have
17:50
Speaker 1: been the story that we started with. But we didn't
17:52
Speaker 1: start with that because it didn't happen. And I think
17:54
Speaker 1: next Thursday, if there's another bad game, Amazon will be
17:58
Speaker 1: providing exclusive footage of Kirk Herbstreet's third-grade spelling bee. which
18:03
Speaker 1: is going to be very exciting for those people that
18:04
Speaker 1: watch the entire game. But Jacksonville is set up. They
18:07
Speaker 1: are sitting pretty right now as they are racking up wins. One, two, three, four, five, six.
18:12
Speaker 1: Who do we appreciate? Six wins, two losses. They got
18:17
Speaker 1: Cupcake City up ahead. They got Tennessee, a mid-level Giants team,
18:23
Speaker 1: and you've got the Titans again. You're looking at getting
18:27
Speaker 1: at the very minimum to eight wins after week 12,
18:31
Speaker 1: most likely nine. The Giants, I know that game's in Jersey.
18:34
Speaker 1: The Giants aren't great. They're okay. They're not amazing. Oh, J.J.
18:40
Speaker 1: McCarthy's God's gift to football. Okay, we'll see about that.
18:45
Speaker 1: We'll see about that, wise guy. It is the Ben
18:48
Speaker 1: Maller Show. If you would like to be part, you
18:51
Speaker 1: can join us right now at 877-99-ON-FOX. The line's opening
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Speaker 1: up here. 877-996-6369 if you want to be part of
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Speaker 1: easy to do. On X. At Ben Maler. That is
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Speaker 1: at Ben Maler. If you'd like to be part of
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Speaker 1: the program, you can join the fun. And, yeah, with us,
19:33
Speaker 1: we'll take your calls, comments, and betting. Benny versus the
19:35
Speaker 1: Penny in Hour 2. We'll do the monologue, and then
19:38
Speaker 1: we'll have picks for all of the key games, all
19:42
Speaker 1: eight of the key games. That'll be coming up in
19:45
Speaker 1: our number two and then we'll get back to because
19:49
Speaker 1: we have lame jokes of the week coming up later
19:50
Speaker 1: so it's a jam-packed friday fun day it's a friday
19:54
Speaker 1: fun day is what it is now straight ahead a
19:57
Speaker 1: humdinger of us i love stories like this so it
20:00
Speaker 1: turns out Our beloved professional football players are having a
20:05
Speaker 1: tough time becoming conquistadors. It's not easy becoming a conquistador.
20:11
Speaker 1: What is that about? We'll get to it, and we
20:14
Speaker 1: will do it next.
20:17
Speaker 3: Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
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Speaker 3: Show weekdays at 2 a.m. Eastern, 11 p.m. Pacific on
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Speaker 3: Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.
20:27
Speaker 6: Welcome to Football Doesn't Lie.
20:29
Speaker 4: Hi, I'm Bill Parcells.
20:32
Speaker 6: And I'm Catherine Zazzora.
20:33
Speaker 4: I have a lot of experience in the game of football, Catherine.
20:36
Speaker 6: And I'm learning the game with Bill's help. Every week,
20:39
Speaker 6: we're going to talk about the NFL slate through the
20:42
Speaker 6: lens of Bill's expertise as he coaches me from novice
20:45
Speaker 6: fan to football expert over the course of the season.
20:48
Speaker 4: You know, I'm looking forward to this show, Catherine, and
20:50
Speaker 4: hopefully we can give our audience a little in-depth look
20:54
Speaker 4: into the inner sanctum of pro football that they can't
20:57
Speaker 4: get anywhere else.
20:58
Speaker 6: Tune in every Thursday for unfiltered stories from Coach Parcells,
21:01
Speaker 6: analysis on the state of the modern game, and education
21:04
Speaker 6: on how football really works.
21:07
Speaker 4: Continuity is very important but what happens when you get
21:11
Speaker 4: good coaches on your staff and people begin to recognize
21:15
Speaker 4: them then they want to hire them and then you
21:18
Speaker 4: can't stop a guy from trying to improve himself but
21:21
Speaker 4: you have to replace.
21:22
Speaker 6: Them Because once you understand what's going on inside the
21:26
Speaker 6: mind of the coaches, you'll understand more about the whole game.
21:29
Speaker 4: So all aspects can be discussed. The only thing I
21:32
Speaker 4: haven't done, because I didn't have enough money, I don't
21:35
Speaker 4: own the team. I never owned a team.
21:38
Speaker 6: Listen to Football Doesn't Lie on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
21:42
Speaker 6: or wherever you get your podcasts.
21:47
Speaker 1: The Ben Maller Show on Fox Sports Radio. As we
21:51
Speaker 1: continue on and on and on and on, further and
21:54
Speaker 1: further into the night, we are at the steering wheel.
21:59
Speaker 1: And hang out with us. Got nothing else going on.
22:03
Speaker 1: Just relax, enjoy. Talking about the Thursday night NFL game, Jacksonville.
22:11
Speaker 1: Are they going to be the top seed in the
22:14
Speaker 1: AFC season? Inquiring minds would like to know. They certainly
22:18
Speaker 1: have the type of schedule. A lot of tomato cans.
22:21
Speaker 1: A lot of tomato cans. Suck bag division. Suck bag division.
22:27
Speaker 1: Very important. If you'd like to be part, 877-99 on Fox.
22:32
Speaker 1: That's 877-996-6369. On the X machine, at Ben Maller. That's
22:40
Speaker 1: at Ben Maller, M-A-L-L-E-R. If you don't know how to
22:43
Speaker 1: spell Ben, you're stupid.
22:44
Speaker 7: Are you sure it's not O-R at the end?
22:47
Speaker 1: Like I said, if you don't know how to spell Malheur,
22:51
Speaker 1: you should spell Malheur the way I said it. But Ben,
22:53
Speaker 1: you should know how to spell. Lorena is here using
22:57
Speaker 1: her pretty girl privilege. You can say hello to her
22:59
Speaker 1: at FSR Tech Queen. What a good night. Yeah. And
23:03
Speaker 1: Koobaloop at a Bronco fan. That's a Bronco fan. Your
23:08
Speaker 1: comments can and will be used against you in the court.
23:13
Speaker 1: of Sports Radio, the Mallard Militia, so please act accordingly.
23:18
Speaker 1: Thank you. By the way, the NFL back already here.
23:22
Speaker 1: NFL Week 9 is upon us. The Packers versus the
23:25
Speaker 1: Patriots is Sunday's America's Game of the Week, streaming live
23:29
Speaker 1: on Fox 1. You miss it live, and you're just
23:32
Speaker 1: watching a highlight catch every play as it happens. Packers,
23:36
Speaker 1: Patriots live on Fox 1. Lorena was almost late for
23:41
Speaker 1: work here, but she was able to make it. She
23:44
Speaker 1: had an incident. She had a run-in with law enforcement.
23:47
Speaker 1: And she was able to survive. That's my cop sound.
23:51
Speaker 1: She got some cherry tops.
23:53
Speaker 7: Pull over and put your hands on the steering wheel.
23:58
Speaker 1: That's right. Yes, yes. So what highway were you on there?
24:02
Speaker 1: Did you have a gun?
24:02
Speaker 5: 134?
24:02
Speaker 1: Were you on the 101? Were you on the 210?
24:05
Speaker 1: I was on the road right here. Oh, right near work?
24:14
Speaker 7: Yeah, the 134 one.
24:15
Speaker 1: I was right next to Woodman.
24:16
Speaker 7: I was almost here. I was five minutes away.
24:17
Speaker 1: It's a highway that goes right through the San Fernando
24:21
Speaker 1: Valley right there. It cuts through North Hollywood.
24:24
Speaker 7: It goes from the 210 into whatever it is over here.
24:27
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you cross the 405. You get into Encino.
24:31
Speaker 1: The 405 goes south. Woodman Hills. The crosses, the 134 crosses.
24:37
Speaker 1: I think that becomes the 101, though, right? Yeah, I
24:39
Speaker 1: think it's the 101. At that point, it's the 101. Yeah.
24:43
Speaker 1: There'll be a quiz on this later. Anyway, she got
24:45
Speaker 1: pulled over. She's lived here forever. She has no idea
24:46
Speaker 1: what the freeway numbers are. It's a bad job by you.
24:48
Speaker 7: I just go the way I need to go.
24:51
Speaker 1: Well, I understand, but there's numbers on them. Anyway, so
24:55
Speaker 1: you got pulled over, and shockingly, an attractive woman does
25:00
Speaker 1: not get a ticket. That never happens. I've got to
25:03
Speaker 1: tell you, Lorraine, this is very rare. It is very
25:06
Speaker 1: rare that an attractive person will not get a ticket.
25:10
Speaker 5: Right?
25:10
Speaker 1: I mean, it almost always works out. And you were
25:13
Speaker 1: going to face multiple tickets, right? Yeah, it definitely would
25:17
Speaker 1: have been multiple.
25:18
Speaker 5: All right.
25:19
Speaker 1: Did you panic? Did you know where your insurance thing was?
25:22
Speaker 1: Was it on your phone? Well, since I haven't.
25:25
Speaker 7: Put my stickers on my car yet, I knew exactly
25:28
Speaker 7: where my stickers in my car were, which had my registration.
25:31
Speaker 3: Okay.
25:32
Speaker 7: And then I always keep my insurance cards exactly where
25:35
Speaker 7: those go.
25:37
Speaker 1: Now, when they pulled you over, did they say, do
25:40
Speaker 1: you know how fast you were going? Did they tell
25:42
Speaker 1: you that?
25:42
Speaker 7: No, he walked up and said, you were going 83.
25:45
Speaker 1: Why were you going so fast? Wow, 83. Now, you
25:49
Speaker 1: know my position, Lorena. I got told by a cop
25:53
Speaker 1: years ago that if you go 79 and under, so
25:56
Speaker 1: many people drive 80 and above. If you go 79
25:59
Speaker 1: and under, you won't get a ticket, which is true
26:01
Speaker 1: in California. That's a safe spot. A cop in Minnesota
26:05
Speaker 1: gave me a ticket when I was driving 79, and
26:08
Speaker 1: he looked like he was about 15 years old. So
26:10
Speaker 1: they're hiring young cops here in Minneapolis. But yeah, he
26:12
Speaker 1: gave me a ticket. But in California, I've pretty much
26:14
Speaker 1: been able to go 79. Yeah, and you drive a lot.
26:17
Speaker 6: So do I.
26:18
Speaker 1: Yeah. I live far from the studio and all that.
26:22
Speaker 7: My biggest concern was my license, though, because it just
26:25
Speaker 7: expired on my birthday.
26:26
Speaker 5: Oh.
26:27
Speaker 1: All right. And you... You have to get that taken
26:30
Speaker 1: care of. Does that mean you have to travel somewhere
26:32
Speaker 1: far away, Lorena, to get that taken care of?
26:34
Speaker 7: Yes, and luckily I'm going up there very soon for Thanksgiving.
26:38
Speaker 1: Oh, you are? Yes.
26:40
Speaker 5: Okay.
26:40
Speaker 1: I'd like to let all the affiliates know Lorena will
26:42
Speaker 1: be on the Oregon Trail for Thanksgiving. So that's all.
26:48
Speaker 1: Will you be hanging out with Mark, the full name guy,
26:51
Speaker 1: or will you have a meet and greet in Oregon?
26:53
Speaker 1: Probably not. Oh, that's an idea. It is an idea.
26:55
Speaker 1: Not a great idea.
26:56
Speaker 5: It's an idea.
26:56
Speaker 7: I don't think I have a lot of time for that.
26:59
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is difficult. For me, it's always the logistics. Like,
27:02
Speaker 1: I'm going to be in the Midwest soon, in Chicago
27:05
Speaker 1: and in Wisconsin, but I don't know that I'll have
27:07
Speaker 1: time to set anything up. Somebody has to step up.
27:10
Speaker 1: So far, no one's stepped up, so I don't think
27:11
Speaker 1: I'll do anything. If somebody steps up, I'll probably spend
27:14
Speaker 1: a little bit of time doing that. Anyway, what do
27:16
Speaker 1: we got here? Page down. Late Night Drug Tester says,
27:20
Speaker 1: instead of talking about the Jags-London's team, you could have
27:25
Speaker 1: previewed the CFL Conference Finals Go Blue Bombers. Yeah, so
27:31
Speaker 1: the other night when the NBA decided not to play
27:34
Speaker 1: games because their fans are idiots and don't know that
27:37
Speaker 1: you can watch a basketball game and vote, they're morons,
27:40
Speaker 1: but hockey realizes their fans are able to actually watch
27:44
Speaker 1: hockey and vote, so it's shocking. Anyway, I watched some hockey,
27:51
Speaker 1: and I did see, I was watching one of the
27:53
Speaker 1: feeds on the Magic Box there. We had the Winnipeg
28:00
Speaker 1: Jets were playing, and they were playing the Montreal Canadiens,
28:04
Speaker 1: that crazy game, the greatest comeback in history. And they
28:07
Speaker 1: had a preview of the game, which is coming up
28:10
Speaker 1: on Saturday here, the Winnipeg Blue Bombers, the road team,
28:14
Speaker 1: taking on the Montreal Alouettes in a massive CFL game.
28:21
Speaker 1: And Montreal is, I believe, favored in that game. Winnipeg
28:25
Speaker 1: just a 500 team this year. You know, I know
28:28
Speaker 1: my CFL. You might not think I know my CFL,
28:30
Speaker 1: but Montreal was a juggernaut. The Argos, or not the Argos,
28:34
Speaker 1: the Alouettes, excuse me. I screwed that up. The Argos
28:36
Speaker 1: of Toronto. But the Alouettes, 14-4. They play 18. They're
28:42
Speaker 1: real men in Canada. They play 18 games there. They
28:45
Speaker 1: don't futz around with 17 games like we do in America.
28:48
Speaker 1: They're hardy people in Canada, and they can play 18 games.
28:53
Speaker 1: So that's the way it goes. What else do we have?
28:55
Speaker 1: Let's see. Page down. Fergdog says, do you think this
28:59
Speaker 1: will be the last we'll see Fagnano on the field?
29:03
Speaker 1: I'd hate to see such a promising career come to
29:05
Speaker 1: an end so quickly. Yeah, he was really fun to watch.
29:10
Speaker 1: I was texting a couple of my buddies during the game.
29:14
Speaker 1: I was like, boy, Al Michaels and Herbie are really
29:16
Speaker 1: laying it on. They're making this guy seem like he
29:19
Speaker 1: is the second coming of this great Kurt Warner or
29:25
Speaker 1: Tom Brady or somebody like that. I was like, what
29:27
Speaker 1: are they doing? It's pretty crazy. Pretty, pretty, pretty crazy.
29:33
Speaker 1: My goodness. All right. What else do we have?
29:37
Speaker 4: Let's see.
29:37
Speaker 1: Page down. Mark from Queens enjoyed the show. the opening monologue.
29:41
Speaker 1: Fargo Pete checking in. He says, Ben, first Tampa, Milwaukee,
29:46
Speaker 1: now Chicago, Jacksonville. The Midwest Florida connection has all the
29:52
Speaker 1: momentum with a side of ranch. Time to start studying
29:56
Speaker 1: your Bears and Jags rosters. All right, calm down, Mr.
30:01
Speaker 1: Chamber of Commerce of the Midwest. Everything's okay. You don't
30:05
Speaker 1: need to go crazy here. Shame on you. Let's see here.
30:09
Speaker 1: Should we take a phone call? I got to click
30:11
Speaker 1: this thing here. Hold on a second. I got to
30:13
Speaker 1: click this, and then this thing pops up, and then
30:16
Speaker 1: that's got to load. Next hour, we have Benny versus
30:19
Speaker 1: the Penny. We'll have the monologue at the top, and
30:21
Speaker 1: then we'll have Benny versus the Penny in the B
30:24
Speaker 1: block and all the way through. All the way through.
30:28
Speaker 1: We are excited about that. All right. Now the thing
30:31
Speaker 1: is working. I got to click the doohickey here. Hold
30:34
Speaker 1: on a sec. Oh, see the doohickey.
30:35
Speaker 7: Double click the doohickey, Ben.
30:37
Speaker 1: I'm going to click the doohickey. Hold on a sec.
30:39
Speaker 1: This thing's a little slow here. I don't know why
30:41
Speaker 1: it's been acting up. I might have some kind of
30:43
Speaker 1: Trojan horse virus or something in this thing. So I
30:45
Speaker 1: click on this. There's a little thing sprinkling around, round
30:48
Speaker 1: and round and round and round and round. All right,
30:51
Speaker 1: let's go to the phones. Let's say hello to Monica,
30:53
Speaker 1: who's in New York. Hello, Monica.
30:56
Speaker 5: Welcome.
30:57
Speaker 1: You're on the Ben Maller Show on Fox. Hello. Hello, Monica.
31:03
Speaker 4: I would like to talk about E-Dog.
31:07
Speaker 1: Oh, this is a call. You're being forced to make
31:10
Speaker 1: this call, Monica, by E-Dog. Is that accurate? No.
31:13
Speaker 5: No.
31:15
Speaker 1: Come on. Come on, Monica. You wouldn't be calling me
31:19
Speaker 1: if it wasn't for E-Dawg. Come on. All right. What's
31:23
Speaker 1: going on? What's going on? He's amazing.
31:26
Speaker 4: He's cool.
31:29
Speaker 1: He's cool.
31:32
Speaker 4: He's nice.
31:33
Speaker 1: Yeah. Are you sure about that?
31:35
Speaker 5: Yeah.
31:36
Speaker 1: Yeah. Is he right next to you by chance? Is
31:39
Speaker 1: he next to you? No. He is not next to you.
31:41
Speaker 1: This is.
31:41
Speaker 3: No.
31:42
Speaker 2: No.
31:43
Speaker 1: What's that, Koopaloop? Koop would like to add something. I
31:46
Speaker 1: don't even have words. No, I mean, Monica, she called. Like, Monica,
31:54
Speaker 1: what's going on with you? What's going on with you here?
31:56
Speaker 1: It's the middle of the night. What are you doing?
31:58
Speaker 1: You should be sleeping right now. What are you calling
32:00
Speaker 1: me for?
32:00
Speaker 5: I know.
32:02
Speaker 1: Well, I'm just up right now. I'm not tired. Yeah,
32:05
Speaker 1: you're not tired. I'm going to ask this question. I'm
32:09
Speaker 1: a little concerned about the answer. So E-Dog, for those
32:11
Speaker 1: that are new to the show, E-Dog's one of our
32:13
Speaker 1: regular callers. E-Dog's been calling me for a million years,
32:17
Speaker 1: and he used to have his buddy Joe Dog. Do
32:20
Speaker 1: you know Joe Dog by chance, Monica?
32:22
Speaker 5: No.
32:23
Speaker 1: You don't know Joe Dog. Oh, my God. I don't
32:25
Speaker 1: know how good a friend you are of E-Dog if
32:26
Speaker 1: you don't know Joe Dog, because Joe Dog used to
32:28
Speaker 1: be a caller to the show also. All right, so
32:30
Speaker 1: you know, and how long have you known E-Dog? Since
32:34
Speaker 1: the summer. Okay, so it's a short-term thing. Long time, Ben,
32:38
Speaker 1: long time. That's two months. That's a few months. That's
32:42
Speaker 1: all right. And so you met him a few months ago,
32:44
Speaker 1: and this is the question I'm afraid to ask. Where
32:47
Speaker 1: did you meet E-Dog? When I meet him, I met
32:52
Speaker 1: him at a program. A program. Okay, so I thought
32:56
Speaker 1: that would be the case. I thought that would be... Yeah,
32:58
Speaker 1: I thought that would be the case. All right, well,
33:00
Speaker 1: very nice. And so you just called up, and you're
33:03
Speaker 1: really advocating for the kindness of E-Dog. You wanted us
33:07
Speaker 1: to know that you're a legitimate person, and he's legitimate,
33:11
Speaker 1: and that's great. Are you guys dating?
33:14
Speaker 3: No.
33:15
Speaker 1: You're not dating. Okay, you're not an item. I understand.
33:18
Speaker 1: Is he on the line right now with the phone
33:20
Speaker 1: on mute? No. Will he be paying you in cash
33:25
Speaker 1: or direct deposit? No, no. He will not be paying you.
33:30
Speaker 5: Okay.
33:31
Speaker 1: There will be no money exchanged for this compliment. I
33:34
Speaker 1: got to tell you, I'm impressed that you made this
33:35
Speaker 1: phone call because, you know, back when I was a
33:37
Speaker 1: single guy and I couldn't get women to do anything
33:41
Speaker 1: to advocate for me. But you are calling up Monica,
33:43
Speaker 1: a radio show, right now and advocating for E-Dog. That's great. Now,
33:48
Speaker 1: does he smell? Does he smell okay? Does he have
33:50
Speaker 1: like a foul odor to him? What's going on with that?
33:53
Speaker 1: He smells okay. He smells not great, though, right? He
33:55
Speaker 1: could smell better.
33:57
Speaker 3: Yes.
33:58
Speaker 4: Yes.
33:58
Speaker 5: Okay.
33:59
Speaker 1: We agree on that. I got you. I got you.
34:01
Speaker 2: All right.
34:01
Speaker 1: Well, listen, Monica, you have called up to advocate for E-Dog.
34:05
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Anything you want to add here?
34:07
Speaker 1: We're going to move on. Anything you want to add?
34:09
Speaker 3: No.
34:11
Speaker 1: All right. Well, thank you. Have a great night. Thank you.
34:13
Speaker 1: All right. There she goes. Monica from New York there
34:15
Speaker 1: advocating totally randomly for E-Dog. Totally randomly for E-Dog. Let's
34:22
Speaker 1: go to Alan in Toronto, who's up next.
34:24
Speaker 3: Hello, Alan.
34:25
Speaker 5: Welcome.
34:25
Speaker 1: You're on the Ben Maller Show on Fox. What's up, Alan?
34:30
Speaker 8: Third-string quarterback Joe Pena. Now, if he gets hurt, then
34:34
Speaker 8: I go in. If I get hurt, then you go in.
34:37
Speaker 8: So they're in a pretty bad situation in the quarterback situation,
34:41
Speaker 8: aren't they?
34:41
Speaker 1: What are you talking about? You're talking about the Ravens?
34:47
Speaker 1: The Ravens, yeah. Yeah, well, that's not his name, actually.
34:51
Speaker 1: You've got to say his name properly or else we're
34:53
Speaker 1: going to get in trouble. That's the problem. Say his name.
34:57
Speaker 1: And I had to learn how to say it because
34:58
Speaker 1: it's a weird name. It doesn't look like it sounds.
35:01
Speaker 1: It's Fagnano. oh thank you i know yeah yeah yeah
35:04
Speaker 1: that's much what you said is much different what you
35:08
Speaker 1: said is much much different than that alan that's uh
35:11
Speaker 1: that's something totally different but but i understand and listen
35:14
Speaker 1: the ravens are four and five they're not mediocre the
35:18
Speaker 1: division is not great right you look around that division
35:21
Speaker 1: is not is there a really good team in their
35:24
Speaker 1: division i would say no do you disagree alan.
35:28
Speaker 8: Yes, it's hard to say.
35:32
Speaker 1: No, it's not. We're in week nine. It's halfway through
35:36
Speaker 1: the NFL season at this particular point. Pittsburgh is 6-2.
35:40
Speaker 1: Do you think they're legit? I don't think they're legit.
35:41
Speaker 1: The Steelers are 6-2, and they don't seem like they're
35:45
Speaker 1: going to beat anybody good down the line. The Bengals
35:48
Speaker 1: are 5-2. I don't get a– I mean, these teams
35:51
Speaker 1: have good records. I don't think they're good teams. Is
35:55
Speaker 1: that odd? Is that an odd take?
35:58
Speaker 8: No, you're right. You're right.
35:59
Speaker 4: Bang on.
36:00
Speaker 1: Oh, thank you. Look at that, Al. I'm right.
36:04
Speaker 8: I'd like to talk about last Sunday in Tampa Bay.
36:08
Speaker 8: Baker Mayfield attempted three passes and didn't complete any of them.
36:12
Speaker 8: 0 for 3. And that's the first time since September 29.
36:16
Speaker 5: 1974 that.
36:19
Speaker 8: A team that won a game without completing a pass.
36:22
Speaker 8: Buffalo didn't have against the Jets in a 16-12 victory.
36:27
Speaker 1: You know what that is, Alan? That's a group project
36:31
Speaker 1: where you don't do any of the work and you
36:32
Speaker 1: get credit. Baker Mayfield, he didn't do any of the work,
36:34
Speaker 1: but he got credit for the win.
36:36
Speaker 8: But they had 324 yards on the ground, which is great.
36:40
Speaker 8: You know, Bucky Irving had 170 yards rushing and Ken Gay.
36:46
Speaker 1: No, it was good.
36:47
Speaker 5: It was good.
36:48
Speaker 8: All right.
36:48
Speaker 1: All right. I got to go, but thanks. As much
36:51
Speaker 1: as I would like to recap that Bucs game from
36:53
Speaker 1: last week, I must move on. Thank you. It is
36:54
Speaker 1: the Bane-Mallor show. We'll push back the Conquistador story. Time now, though,
36:59
Speaker 1: for the Who Am I game. And this is where
37:02
Speaker 1: I pretend to be somebody else, as we call it
37:04
Speaker 1: the Who Am I game. Ravens rookie quarterback Joe Fagnano,
37:08
Speaker 1: not what Alan just said, Joe Fagnano became just the
37:11
Speaker 1: second quarterback since at least 1950 to finish his college
37:16
Speaker 1: career at UConn and start an NFL game. I was
37:19
Speaker 1: the only other quarterback to play for the Huskies at
37:23
Speaker 1: the end of my college career and start an NFL game.
37:26
Speaker 1: Who am I? That is the question. The answer. We'll
37:31
Speaker 1: get to it and we will do it.
37:34
Speaker 4: Next.
37:35
Speaker 3: Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
37:37
Speaker 3: Show weekdays at 2 a.m. Eastern, 11 p.m. Pacific.
37:41
Speaker 1: The Ben Maller Show on Fox Sports Radio. As we
37:44
Speaker 1: continue on through the overnight, it is a Friday show
37:48
Speaker 1: for us. Don't forget Benny versus the Penny next hour.
37:52
Speaker 1: And later on today, in addition to Benny versus the Penny,
37:56
Speaker 1: you'll have the Fifth Hour Podcast will return. So you
37:59
Speaker 1: have something to listen to when those boring daytime shows
38:01
Speaker 1: are on. So check out that Fifth Hour Podcast podcast.
38:04
Speaker 1: Later today, and I don't know if you know about this,
38:07
Speaker 1: but NFL Week 9 is here. The Packers versus the Patriots.
38:12
Speaker 1: Sunday's America's Game of the Week streaming live on Fox 1.
38:15
Speaker 1: Miss it live, and you're just watching a highlight. Catch
38:18
Speaker 1: every play as it happens. Packers-Patriots live on Fox 1.
38:23
Speaker 1: All right, back to it. Let's pay off this conquistador story.
38:28
Speaker 1: So it's not easy being a conquistador. This weekend, the
38:31
Speaker 1: Bengals and the Falcons will play. In Spain. A little
38:37
Speaker 1: NFL action there. And it'll be an early game on Sunday.
38:42
Speaker 1: And the issue here is the locker room. The locker rooms.
38:47
Speaker 1: They spent a billion dollars, actually over a billion dollars,
38:52
Speaker 1: on a redone locker room. Yet the locker room, the
38:56
Speaker 1: photographs that are making their way around the interweb, The
39:00
Speaker 1: locker rooms are not up to snuff with the modern palaces,
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Speaker 1: the country clubs that these spoiled NFL players are used
39:08
Speaker 1: to at facilities around the NFL. They look very modest
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Speaker 1: in comparison. Real Madrid is the stadium they're playing in
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Speaker 1: is Real Madrid's home stadium. And so you'd think, well,
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Speaker 1: these are some of the biggest names in soccer. Or
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Speaker 1: they call it football play there. But the combinations, not
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Speaker 1: all that great. There's college football programs like Texas A &
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Speaker 1: M and others, a bunch of big Ohio State that
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Speaker 1: have facilities that make this look completely outdated. And they
39:43
Speaker 1: had to expand the locker room area. They had to
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Speaker 1: add more showers. and other modification to accommodate the NFL.
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Speaker 1: But even with that, they're saying that this is like slumming.
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Speaker 1: Our poor NFL stars having to deal with substandard lockers.
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Speaker 1: What a shame. All right, here is the payoff on
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Speaker 1: the Who Am I game. Ribbons rookie quarterback Joe Fagnano
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Speaker 1: became just the second quarterback since at least 1950. to
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Speaker 1: finish his college career at UConn and start an NFL game.
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Speaker 1: I was the other quarterback to do it. Who am I?
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Speaker 1: Jake Locker, guest by Larry from Nashville. E-Dog, the lady
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Speaker 1: killer from Ferg Dog. Who else do we have? Gino Ariema,
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Speaker 1: that's Mark from Queens. Ronald Reagan from Femi. Chandler Parsons,
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Speaker 1: guest by Alf the Alien O'Piner. and will t got
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Speaker 1: it right bad job by him monica and e-dog from
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Speaker 1: robbie the mariner fan bob from glen allen virginia got
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Speaker 1: it right uh who else do we have pace down
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Speaker 1: do you uh do you have an answer lorena.
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Speaker 7: I was gonna go with monica lewinsky it's.
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Speaker 1: A fine answer unfortunately it is dan orlovsky who was
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Speaker 1: two and ten as an nfl quarterback out of yukon
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Speaker 1: dan orlovsky the answer