Latest / DA CREW Podcast / SEASON 2 EPISODE _109 _ DA CREW PODCAST _HOST TRIVEDA HARRIS

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SEASON 2 EPISODE _109 _ DA CREW PODCAST _HOST TRIVEDA HARRIS · DA CREW Podcast

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Oh all right, Well you're alive, so they're listening to what I was
0:25
saying, okay, and they can hear what I was saying. You see,
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you can't hear me. No, hey, hey, and welcome to
0:41
another episode of the Proof I cast. I am your visionary Queen Angel and
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your book upon hust Blown it won the sweet I can please, Queen Apron
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hust Blown one the sweet sweet sweet name. I know it wasn't the sweet,
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sweet sweetest ste Good evening and welcome to Believe in the Journey Podcast where
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I am your host Trivida Hare and tonight we're going to be doing a very
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special episode celebrating my mom. She left to go be with the Lord on
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June the fifteenth of last year, and we just want to take the time
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to share our memories and fun thoughts and very silly stories of my mother to
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celebrate her because her birthday just passed. It was July the fifth, and
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she would have been sixty five. But before we do any of that,
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I'm going to go to God in prayer and thank him for this opportunity to
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celebrate her. Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for bringing us together tonight,
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family and friends, as we share the memories of the woman that you decided
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to make my mom. In many ways, I am like her. In
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other ways, I will always be stubborn and heart headed, just as she
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was, even though she said she was not stubborn. But you know,
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the child that you created and the legacy that she left with all four of
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her children, will never be delayed or forgotten. She even passed some of
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her traits on down to her grands and great grands and we love and honor
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and we miss her dearly. But thank you for the opportunity to give her
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us and her to us for these years, and your precious and holy name
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Jesus. We pray Amen, and I'm going to bring up my brother,
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my best friend, my sister, and if my auntie is here, We're
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going to bring all of them up, and also my mentor. As we
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begin to share and celebrate Miss Alfredia and Harris mostly known as Freddy. Hey,
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Hi, Hey, hey, hey, how is everybody tonight? Well,
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now, Lison, you know, Mom was a one of a kind
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person. She was definitely at firecrackers. She will tell you what she was
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thinking at any given moment. I always had a joke in the middle of
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a serious moment. Uh. When she met the podcast crew, Lord,
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that was an interesting, interesting introduction, to say the least. She wanted.
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She wanted to do the prayer and let me tell you how that prayer
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went. If I have not told you the story of of how she She
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started the prayer in true mama fashion, she said, Dear Heaven, me,
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Father, thank you for allowing me to be in this space and to
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see my daughter to where she actually has friends. And I said, Mom,
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really, that's what we're gonna do. In the middle of the prayer,
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she said, yeah, because I ain't never seen your ass with no
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friends. You always blay your steps. And she continued the prayer, so
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we had to of course say another prayer after that. But she was serious
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about that thing. She meant every bit of that. And she said,
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I ain't never seen you with nobody. You always by yourself, so I
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didn't think you had friends, and I ain't think you like nobody. My
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Can we focus on what we're supposed to be doing right now? That that
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ain't it? And she looked over at Miss Angela and she say, you
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you look like you up to something. You up to something. I can't
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put my finger on it, but you up to some I was like,
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mam, what's she up to? I don't know. I don't know what
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it is yet, but it's something she up to some all day, all
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day long. And every time I would go go up there to the hospital
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after work and I had my last yes, she was always ready to be
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on it. H Listen, y'all can jump in anytime, because y'all know,
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I got stories for days about my mom. We got stories with with
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her rolling eyes and smacking her lips. It's just always just so many memories
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of her. Just listen back to her her days of playing softball. Oh
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h just just just being just enjoying being being a kid at her presence,
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those moments. I remember this Saturday morning clean up. Well, I always
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always got out of those, yeah, I know, because you be outside
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already. Hey, ain't nobody tell you to have to sleep in. I
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wasn't trying to sleep in, that wasn't the case. But you always got
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out the door before I did. And she's like, I can't find your
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little big head brother. You're gonna have to do his chores too, man,
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mom, for real, for real? H oh yeah, I mean,
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just in some of the things that she taught us, the love that
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she showed in her own, her own way, mm hmm, just being
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present when she could. Yeah. So I just remember my senior year homecoming
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when we played Malden. You could tell who who and whenever she was there
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because she was gonna be the loudest one. Of course, of course,
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it's just those those moments, those those times of remember, Lord, she
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showed up at my graduation, mind you, she showed up. Now she
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of course, she was late and she had been drinking, so of course
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when they got to my name, you know, she was loud, she
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was screaming my name. And I heard her say to the lady, because
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you know you can't scream because we was at the auditorium, then you know
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you're not supposed to yell scream. I heard her tell that lady, she
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say, that's my damn daughter. I screamed her name. If I want
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tough, you can't tell me what to do. I'm leaving. I'll wait
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for outside. I said, Lord, yep, that's my mom. That
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that's what And she did the smallest thing, but the loudest thing. You
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was gonna know her present. Oh yeah, you was gonna know her present.
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And if you didn't heal before you saw, she was gonna make sure
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that they was equal at some point. Oh yeah. Always even with every
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family function, remember that it was gonna be it was gonna be some some
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some heroic stuff going on, all some funny stuff going on. It was.
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It was a gift and the courage, but you knew one of the
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other was gonna take place. And sometimes exactly because her her thing was she
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always was gonna find laughter in the series of any type of situation, no
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matter what it was. And I can remember I was pregnant with I had
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had Nathan, I found a lump in my breast, and so I had
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called Bill mont Hattie, of course, and was telling them that I gotta
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go to that because I had found a lump. So of course they don't
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told Mama. When she got to the house, Mama calls me on the
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phone. What's going on with your boobs? I said, ma'am, what
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you talk about? Bill Monem said, you got something going on with your
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boobs? What's wrong? I said, Mama, I don't know. It's
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just a lump. Enough, Well, when I get me a ride,
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I'm coming down there, I said. Okay. So about nine nine o'clock,
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here she come knocking on the door. She gets in the door.
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She talking about let me see, let me feel it, Ma, get
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off failure. I need to feel what you're talking about, because you probably
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don't know what you're feeling. Mama, it's mine. I know this don't
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feel right. I don't need you touching my girl getting here so I can
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touch it and see. Then, so she got to feel it, and
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she's talking about m Yeah, you're gonna have to go to the doctor and
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let them tell you what that is, because baby, I don't know what
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that is. Ma I already knew you didn't know what it was. Well
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hell ma, well hell so it's just it's just funny. I know when
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Ky and I we took up to the hospital in December, December tenth and
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whatever. The nurse came in talking questions. Then the nurse leave out and
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tell her she's gonna look at Kai and just shake her head. And me
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and Kyle looked at each other and like, what are you talking? What's
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wrong? Like, what's going on? He ain't real? That's a clone?
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How is he not real? And he right in front of you?
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How is he not real? He a clone? How was a whole human
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and a clone? Me and Kyle we just looked at each other and started
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laughing, like, Okay, he's a clone and this whole time, but
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he a clone? Who he cloned from? Right? But then she started
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talking to the nurse, asking the nurse questions, like the nurse is supposed
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to know the answers without asking her the questions, like this woman don't know
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you looking at me and kin like, how does she expect me to know
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these answers? We don't trust me, We don't know how she expect you
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to know the essence and then turns right back. But he's a clone.
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How you gonna tell that, lady here? Clone? Are you serious about
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that? Telepathy? If that ain't that whole show she did about that,
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y'all, I'm gonna tell y'all. I was so terrified. Listen, y'all,
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I'm not kidding. When she told me her topic of discussion, I
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was like, Oh, Lord, have mercy. This woman gonna be talking
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all kinds of crazy. I'm not gonna be able to keep up. I'm
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not gonna focus. I don't know what we're finna talk about. And so
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she was like, well, you can get me some notes and everything,
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and so I was like, okay, well I'll find what I can and
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i'll bring it to you and you tell me if if I'm on the right
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track or not. So I brought her little notes or whatever. She was
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like, Yeah, that's that's it. That's it. Now. Before we
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got ready to go for the show. This is what y'all don't understand.
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Now. This woman was in a excruciating amount of pain. It was six
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o'clock and I'm like, she was like, what time you say this thing
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is? I said, Mom, you said you wanted to do it.
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Live, and they said eight o'clock. What do you want to do?
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I said, now, if you don't want to do it, we won't
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have to. She took about now we still got time. I said,
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okay, so we're getting ready and put her little lipstick on her little ear
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ring. Gone, do you know she had to be working, So we
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got an e ring. Gone, got a little lipstick going. When this
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show started, he started talking about this lady. I had to rill her
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back in, No, we're not finna talk about that. We ain't gonna
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talk about that lady. That lady ain't got nothing to do with what you're
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talking about today. You to tell me what telepathy is, high goals,
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high works. Who is able to you know, experience this? How long
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have you experienced this? Like whatever? I mom? Folks. So he
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was just, hey, that's not the yeah, I can't see I'm out.
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Okay, listen, I know the head shakes. You know that's what
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I love. You got the same hand shape? What you want me to
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say, they've got they've got nothing to do with it. My name,
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my name, Look at my name? You do? I mean? Now
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you know she was gonna say that you are you are follow up an Harris
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tradition to say what she needed to say. But y'all, after the show
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was over, she talked about Okay, now take me now, you asked
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me to put the stuff on you. You want to your earring and your
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lipstick. Now you mad because you don't want this own no more? Take
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the stuff off me, I said. But when we was at Chapman Elementary
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and I got in trouble for doing with exactly what she told me to do,
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I can't remember. I can't remember if that guy's in the neighborhood name
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was Sam or whatever, But I remember that clears day to where I told
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her that I was being bullied by him and whoever else it was, and
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she told me, that's find something. You take the knife to school and
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if they messaged on the buff, you cut him. Now, mind you,
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I have had this knife in my book bag for a whole week,
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a whole week with By next week, after the one of the kids in
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the classroom that rode the bus with us, that told the teachers that I
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had a knife in my bag, they came to get me out of the
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classroom. They searched my boat bag. There's no knife in my bag.
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When she's working at Spartanburg. Hours over to the school and they talking about,
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well, you know, miss Dawkers, we're gonna have to suspend him
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for having a knife on school property. I'm about eighty nine years old.
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And she said, how the old We're gonna suspend him for something that happened
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a week ago when he ain't got no knife on getting supposedly getting speak but
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still winding up back at school the next day. Happened that you got suspended.
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The next morning, Mama came to wake us up to get us ready
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for school, and I was like, Mom, he can't go to school.
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He got suspended. He can't even get on the bus. She told
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about what the hell I said, Mam, he got suspended. He can't
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go, that's why he in there. She took about, oh he going
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to damn school. He going y'all. She packed us up in the car.
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We went to the office. All I know my brother was back in
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school. He didn't have not one day in suspension because whatever my mama said.
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They didn't want no point to this, because she was like, he
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ain't suspended because he ain't coming home with me, and I gotta go to
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work. So y'all better figure out what to do with him. So how
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they feel that they was gonna suspend me over something that they won. They
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didn't have any proof to prove that I had the knife other than my story.
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And then then the other kid on the bus, which I told him
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that I had the knife. I did. There was a week after that,
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but I'm saying how, But then she tried to get on get me
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and I got in trouble with her later on at home over something that you
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told me to don the knives now and I don't have one in my kitchen.
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I hate seeing them. Maybe you didn't do it exactly the way she
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told you to do it. The te you somewhere. All I know is
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that they they weren't gonna bully me no more. Right what after that?
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Well no, unless they figured like, oh yeah that is crazy your herd
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back of the knife, I wouldn't best with you either, right right?
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I did what she said. Yeah, I did what she did for the
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most part. It worked right for the most fun. But she would always
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take up She wouldn't really take up money, she was she would always take
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up for me, and she wouldn't take up for me as much just like
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when we was at the at the softball field when I was chasing him with
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the dead snake, not seeing you was wrong for the flash. She used
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the flash before flash, and Mama jumped on me, ain't protecting her.
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But I know five minutes with that dog on dead snake skin, but he
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got karma got him back. Mama didn't even have to whoop him my own
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thing, but he might have got a whooping anyway. But he ended up
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with poison outy because the snake had shed in his skin. And he ended
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up with poison out for taking me with that dog on snake skin. Okay,
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well, what what you probably don't remember is you used to get bad
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in trouble a lot for stuff he didn't do. All you all you have
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to do, and I'm telling you right now because I seen it with my
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own eyes. All you had to do was cry wolf. All you had
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to do was see one thing was wrong. The dog was gonna get the
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blade pot or I picked that. I saw that game, all of them,
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so I had to do something. Matter of fact, when we was
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down something when some of the that got us faking because it's something you said
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and half of us knew that it wasn't true, but we were too scared
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to say anything. Yeah. Yeah, you caused him to get a whooping
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and he didn't even do nothing. And I knew he didn't do nothing,
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but I was too scared to say anything because I didn't want to have to
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deal with God and Davis. Yeah, because because he took your me.
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Now he took Vita side. We took Vita side. And it wasn't nobody
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trying to argue that case. Yeah, but your brother got for you.
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Well see I was a small one, so I had, you know,
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use that to my advantage, and one you sure did. You used it
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to your vantage because he was not happy with them. A couple of spakings
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he got, he was he was giving you the means. I said,
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Oh, he's gonna give up, He's gonna get something, something gonna happen.
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He's gonna give her back on time. Because me and Sad were I
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don't know what Mama was doing in the house, but whatever she was doing,
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she wasn't watching us. I think you were cleaning up. But we
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was in the bathroom. We had some scissors, so I said, I
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don't cut your hair. I started to cut his hair, so what I
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sad. He made a little circle. When Mama came in there, Oh
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my god, she was like, what happened to your head? He's talking
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about I don't know. Vita said she was gonna get me a haircut,
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so this is my haircut. So got my head on something terrible. So
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I gotta work. You know you did. You did that on purpose.
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You jacked him up on purpose. I'm sure I was doing a good jove
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until I finished, because you know, yeah to me, because my head
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up. Oh wait, wait wait. In my defense, he was moving
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too, and then he was a brand and it was like it looked good
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him too, So it wasn't just me. It wasn't just me, he
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both and four like he was probably he's probably moving so he could see in
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the mirror what you was doing to him. But you was, you know,
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care like man. During that time and that time period, man,
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I did some of the most craziest stuff. I remember Mama cleaning up.
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This is when we stayed over there offer with a carpenter Street whatever it was
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in the apartments that's right now. I was sitting there on the sink,
26:11
Mom doing something and she had some clorox and a cup or something and whatever
26:15
at the sink and I done drunk it. And I don't know why she
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felt the nerve to make me drink all this damn milk. It's just like,
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that's not it's not a good combination. And I don't know what in
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the world possessed me while we were sitting there on the sink for me to
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drink the clorox. But I drunk the clorox. And then she was like,
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get him some milk and feed trying to get the damn milk out.
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And I'm sitting on the counter still and I'm drinking milk. And I'm still
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to this day at forty four, trying to figure out where the hell was
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milks. But maybe that's something that's a Google ship that I got to research.
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I don't know. But Okay, we all Nightmare on Elm Street.
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You remember that. Yeah, I'm gonna tell you. I'm gonna because we
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were sitting there Mama and U Bill was whatever name was, our stepdad was
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sitting on the couch. Now both of us are in front of the TV.
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Now, you know, at that time, you were a little scaredy
27:26
cat. You didn't do scary movies. But you're trying to be grown.
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Be there like me in front of the TV. Now, you started out
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sitting right beside me. Now at the beginning of the movie, they just
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in the school bus right down the street before they get to wherever they were
27:45
going. You were in the middle of Mom and Bill on the couch and
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I'm like, where you go that night we go sometuff that you was supposed
28:02
to tell. We go to bed. You wake up in the middle of
28:10
the night streaming. You don't threw up front of my bed. You on
28:15
the top floor because you the string limb. Yeah, the window in that
28:23
tree looking like Freddy Krueger and them damn fingers on the wall the way wear
28:33
that brdge and then then leaves on that was blocked. Freddy Kruger was in
28:37
the room that night, and I was I could do was throw up.
28:42
Friend. So y'all trying to get out in the bed to go get mama.
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He said, you can't step right now. I don't threw up in
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front of your bed. I will climb out the fly, go get mama.
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She talked about what's wrong? What's wrong? I said that threw up
29:00
in hell, I'm saying, Mom, he threw up. What he throw
29:07
up? I said, you know he's scared. So he say, freddie
29:10
outside and go outside, getting like, why nobody out here? And y'all
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a little scary Freddy Freddy was in the room that night on the wall.
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Hey, I'm like doing them those them times right there. Oh God with
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her with mama and those mamas there, that's the lord of mercy. I
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wouldn't she wouldn't let me leave that down. I would tell you. I
29:48
will tell you right now. Your mama didn't play that scary ship. Because
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me and Beauty Red Untie d d when used to be over there the house
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and he come over there when we would come down for the summer's being.
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If we act like we were scared of something, she acts like she was
30:02
gonna get mad at us because she we were scared, and so we were
30:07
scared to be we were too scared to be scared, because she was looking
30:11
like she was gonna get mad at it if we were scared. I was
30:14
like, I don't understand this. I'm scared, but I'm scared to be
30:17
scared. Because my sister looked like she gonna look me because I'm scared,
30:21
I said, all right, I I got to go back in the house.
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I can't deal with this. It was too much for me. Oh
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but she had that looking face like, what what you scared? What you're
30:30
scared for? What I ain't scared? What you're scared about? I be
30:33
like, I ain't. I ain't scared no more, I ain't scared.
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I was still scared, but I was. She had me scared to admit
30:41
I was scared. I'm telling you that about me. And I was scared
30:45
to put the damn football him and on. But I was scared of me.
30:49
I wouldn't put I would I was scared of gonna get stuck and always.
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You know, Mama had talked about your hat that night when we was
31:06
on face time. Yeah, you talk about what why was your hat?
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Why got that gap? And then you need a hat that because that ain't
31:18
it? And I looked at it. I looked it up. The reason
31:27
the reason why she said, get that boy some milk is because milk pauses
31:33
your digestive systemical care. Well, hell hospital, So what was gonna be
31:41
the proplea medical gift were And we were right along the from the hospital.
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We weren't going though the milk well now poked on a piece of candy.
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Lord, I don't even that little piece of strawberry candy. He got church
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candy. No more running around the apartment now, she already told him stopped
32:08
running with that damn candy in his mouth. Now he didn't want to listen,
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So candy go down. Here, she goes screaming, she don't beat
32:19
this child in that piece of candy. Flew out the black dough. Y'all.
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We ain't found that piece of candy yet. I don't know like I
32:25
had the death experiences. Now, it was so much calmer over there on
32:38
that side of town, because I remember they bought me a damn dirt bike
32:43
and they told me don't ride the bike up the hill. And I rode
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the bike up the hill and I forgot where the damn breaks were, and
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I put my feet in between the lit damn separated thing in the front tier
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and flipped over the damn bike and had to drag the bike home. And
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she that what you asked, Yeah, you did none of that at all.
33:15
None. Now I'm sing, Mama would do my hair on Saturdays with
33:21
the hot comb. Now, mind you, my hair was real long.
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Then I'm sitting Indian style on the floor as she in hot comb in my
33:30
hair. Y'all. She gets a long piece and she comes down. She
33:35
touches my knees. That high comb is hot. I swim, of course,
33:43
she tolls me, go get the toothpaste to put on the burns.
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Now you knew that was not the right thing to do for a burn up.
34:00
I went. I got on my bike. When I tell you,
34:05
I rode my bike until it was dark outside, and she had to come
34:07
outside. Bring your ass in this house, I said. My knee still
34:12
burning. I don't try to wipe this two faces. My knee still burning.
34:15
It's gonna blister. I don't give a damn. You shouldn't have been
34:19
moving, ma, I wasn't even moving. You hit my leg. Now
34:22
while I got to be in trouble because you burnt me, how didn't burn
34:25
you? Now? Now, Mama, y'all still had to go in the
34:30
house and take a bath. MA, I can't put this leg in the
34:34
water. Get your ass and that god damned tub. You've been outside.
34:37
You smell like outside. You're gonna take this back, y'all. It was
34:42
big one day. I can't say that Mommy was scared of was getting that
34:49
hair comb. That was one thing that she did not like is to get
34:53
that hair comb at all. But I will say that one of my most
34:59
precious memory doing the transition to me. But but let me tell you,
35:05
going up until I gave her the first time, you call Unmel to tell
35:10
me that she wanted her hair colt. While she was still at Region,
35:15
I called her and I said, Mamun called me and said, you wanted
35:19
your hair comb. She said yeah. I said, Mom, you sure
35:22
you want your hair and you want me to do it? You want to
35:25
bring it? Yeah? Okay, So many go up to the hospital.
35:32
I get ready to bring I gotta stand right beside the bed and hold her
35:37
hand because I'm braiding her hand. She asked me to do, but I
35:44
tried to go to the other side of the give me your hand. I
35:47
need your hand. You can't move. I need that I need. Now.
35:52
She gets to the facility and gas me. I'm like, Mom,
35:57
you got the podcast that you're doing with me? Like, we're gonna do
36:00
this, I said, so I gotta do your hair, so I gotta
36:02
wash it. She was like, okay, you're gonna flat on it for
36:06
me? I said, now you sure that's what you want me to do?
36:09
She said that now two days prior, I'm like, all right,
36:15
you know you're about to get your hair done. Yeah, I'm still trying
36:17
to figure out a way to get out of that. No, no,
36:22
you can't get into this because you getting your hair comb. Not today and
36:25
not tomorrow, but the day after. You're gonna get your hair comb.
36:28
Because I got more time to do that. I take a soft body plan
36:34
to get here. So that day came, y'all, I had her music
36:37
playing all this stuff that I needed, and she was so relaxed while I
36:44
was doing that, And that was the most peaceful thing and most joyous thing
36:49
that I did with her, besides us laughing and joking and talking or whatever.
36:54
But and especially when sky came. When Skott came up, said to
37:00
the hospital, y'all, cutting nobody touch the baby, but wash your mom's
37:04
hair. Each and every time, it was always a fight two days prior
37:07
to get to the process of washing her hair. Now, y'all try to
37:12
do her some more. Twist out that he didn't want that. So the
37:22
next day I had to go back with my flat on put her some little
37:25
some curls in there because she didn't. She didn't like that. She said,
37:29
I don't know what the heir you try to do that. I'm not
37:30
young. I don't like this shit. Okay, she was on it.
37:37
I remember when we walked into the doctor's office to get for me to get
37:44
them tubes in up. Yeah, and she done told the nurse as we
37:47
walking down the hall. She don't tell the nurse three times like hey,
37:52
you might want to go get some more people. Yeah, get mama,
38:00
and looked at Vitas like now we're good, We're gonna be all right,
38:06
got in that room and say, hey man, you might want to go
38:07
get some more people. I just, I just that was her gift for
38:14
desernment. She always knew that it was gonna be something, regardless of whatever
38:20
it was. She always knew that it was gonna be something. And I
38:24
think everybody loved her for that, just with her personality far beyond, far
38:31
beyond the South ball field. Yeah, it is her presence alone, Yeah,
38:37
because she was gonna make you laugh, she was gonna make you feel
38:40
comfortable. She was going to just be herself, you know, in any
38:45
space and in capacity or anything like that. So she was always gonna find
38:52
the good in people, even if you didn't see the good in them,
38:55
you know, because I would always be like, Mom, I don't know
38:59
why you hang out with these people. You know they don't like you.
39:02
Vita, you can't like anybody. You don't like anybody anyway, so you
39:07
don't care. I'm like, Mom, I do like people. You don't
39:12
like nobody. I don't even know if you like me, because half the
39:15
time you're trying to tell me, you know what, Mama, Okay,
39:20
I'm right. I'm not gonna argue with you. The other thing and now
39:24
y'all, y'all can fire, y'all, last memory were gonna go. But
39:28
this is one thing. This is a funny memory of when I was pregnant
39:31
with Nathan. I was up there in the hospital, I was getting discharged,
39:36
and they were telling me how to change this site. I had a
39:39
breathing pump that helped me with my contractions. So in order for me to
39:45
go home, somebody was going to have to change the sonke. Now,
39:49
Mom did not like needles at all, so she's pulling the nurse that she
39:54
can change my sight. It's absolutely no problem, no issues, no nothing.
40:00
Okay, it has to change every four days. So we at home.
40:05
I'm getting up that morning, you know, and getting ready. I
40:07
don't change the sign. I'm like, Mom, we gotta change this today,
40:10
so I don't took the old one off, switching it over to the
40:14
other legs. I'm like, Mom, come on, you gotta you gotta
40:17
do the needle. She's talking about, Okay, I'm coming. She don't
40:22
let us cigarette. She done went outside, swep off the front patio.
40:27
She comes back in. I said, Mom, come on, I can't
40:30
wait. You got to go ahead and do this thing now. She goes
40:34
to the back patio. She sweeps that one off. Mom, come on,
40:37
she don't smoke the cigarette down to the filter. There is nothing there.
40:43
Mom, you don't finish your cigarette. You don't slip off bull patios.
40:46
The house is clean. What are you doing? Come on? Change
40:50
the sight she's talking about now, you know, damn well, I don't
40:52
like no needles. I said, well, why you tell them people?
40:55
You can change this sight. She talk about, what hell you want to
40:59
come home, didn't you? I said, yeah, but you got to
41:04
change this thing, y'all. She comes over to the bed. She's holding
41:08
the needle way up here. The needle has to go on my legs.
41:14
So I'm like, mam, you got to come down, Come down,
41:16
keep keep coming. So she gets like, I can't do it. I
41:21
can't do it. I can't do ma, Come on, we don't have
41:24
all day. Come on, put put put your hand right here. Put
41:28
your hand right here, y'all. I had to smack her hand on one
41:30
I did that. She cuts me out so bad. She don't maybe do
41:35
that ship no more. You're gonna have to do this by yourself, because
41:37
I'm not doing this no more. But I miss her tremendously, you know.
41:45
And the little blanket that we got from the funeral, it sits on
41:52
the recliner in there, and her and Move had this connection with each other.
41:57
Even though Moo was not talking or anything like that, she knew her
42:00
grandmother's presence. And I had moved that blanket off the chair and put it
42:07
away. Do you know she took all the other blankets off to see if
42:10
that blanket was there, and when it wasn't, she got a whole attitude
42:15
with me. So I had to put it back. And when I put
42:17
it back, she got back in that reclined and she started to rub the
42:21
face on that blanket, so she knows her grabby and I swear that he
42:28
and having their little conversations together, and I let them have because I'm not
42:32
for it. Oh yeah, you remember when when you text me coming down
42:37
the road, like hey, Mama said stop and bring us some breakfast.
42:42
And I got over there and she's trying to eat that biscuit. It ain't
42:45
youing nothing the biscuits just said. She got all the biskey stuff inside of
42:50
her cheek like a chip bunk talking about she eating. Hey, you eat
42:54
none of the buscuits tonight. It's just hitting right there, like mom,
42:57
what you doing? She had before, she had hurt her too, eating
43:04
them dogs on skittles and uh starbursts. She had mixed them together and it
43:08
sh she knew better than that. She knew better than that, but she
43:15
knew back. But that's that, that's that stubbornness of it, because she
43:19
knew she was supposed to be eating that. Sure, but you know why,
43:27
that's that's that's that's that struggle man, with being a diabetic. It's
43:30
hard. You can't it's hard. It's hard. It's a struggle man.
43:34
When you when you want some sugar, you know, it's it's a hard
43:37
struggle because I'm telling you I struggle with it too. When I be I'll
43:40
be having my little snacks and my wife be looking at me like what is
43:44
this? Or she tried to or the kids try to eat someone, she
43:47
tried to eat someone. They say they helping me, They say they help
43:51
with me by eating half my snacks. But it is what it is.
43:54
But it is a struggle. I'll tell you that, Teda. I would
44:00
just like to tell you and your brother that I appreciate you for sharing your
44:06
mom with me. I met Miss Freddy when Trevida and our teenagers, and
44:15
you know, things happen, life goes on, and you know, we
44:21
didn't see each other for a minute. But when I finally got to see
44:25
your mom again, she said, oh you still around, You still hanging
44:30
with her. She was like, you know, you don't like nobody.
44:32
So you know, I appreciate you for sharing your mom. And you know,
44:40
even when she was at the hospice place, I would call once Trevida
44:46
told me she had a cell phone and I called and you know, ask
44:52
her how she's doing or whatever, and she was like, I'm okay,
44:53
And I said, you know who you're talking to? She's like, you
44:58
know one and I will tell her I am. And she was like,
45:04
okay, well come see me. So you know, I still have a
45:10
visitor stole that they gave me. And you know those things are things that
45:20
you know, they made me like me nothing to somebody else, but you
45:25
know when you have grown attached to somebody, especially like a family member of
45:34
your best friend. Like I told you, whatever you wanted me to do,
45:38
I was gonna walk with you till we couldn't walk it out. You
45:42
know, but we we talked plenty of nights where you were questioning why things
45:51
were happening in the way that they were. And I just want to say
45:54
to you from someone that went from because I watched my mom go and I
46:00
house too. God branted you that time because you both commuted it. Yeah,
46:07
needed it, It was necessary, and he wanted to piece that was
46:15
surpassed all understanding and give her that same piece knowing that her babies are okay.
46:23
And so you know I went through the same thing. You know,
46:28
my story being adopted and you know, losing my mom three years after finding
46:35
her after thirty one years of being separated. God allowed me that time to
46:42
be in that place where her to make peace of the situation. So you
46:46
know, even though she may not be here in the physical, your mom
46:51
is showing up in every last one of y'all. So you know, just
46:58
just keep in breaking each other because there's no time frame on grief. Now.
47:05
You may be fine ten years down the road, and ten years and
47:10
five months later you break down. Have my moments, Lord, I have
47:15
my moments you need, but don't stay there. She would want that for
47:22
y'all. Yeah, I said, I find my silence in writing. Mm
47:34
hmmm, my voice through through writing. Oh h And I love you both,
47:40
so if y'all can hear, yeah, I truly thank you tre Reading
47:50
for allowing her to be a part of the podcast and even introducing her to
47:54
us and allowing us that time with her. I truly enjoyed my purple lip
48:01
friend. It's what we called each other. We would come on this and
48:08
I would come on a lot of the times without the camera, and she
48:13
was not having it. If I came home, she wanted to see my
48:17
face. She didn't want to see a camera. And I enjoyed that we
48:22
had. We had an opportunity to create memories that no one is ever going
48:27
to be able to take away from us. So thank you guys for allowing
48:31
us that space during our time of her transitioning. Because y'all shared her with
48:38
us and we had an opportunity to share her with the world, the world
48:43
got an opportunity to see Mama Elfridia is what we call her. So again,
48:50
I thank you guys, and know that you are always in our prayers
48:53
and she's always going to be a part of the group podcast. She's an
48:59
unred opportunity to come on here and share with the world what she wanted to
49:05
because she she was at every friend and I said, you know what,
49:08
I have to give her this opportunity. I'm just grateful. So thank you
49:14
guys for sharing her with us and allowing us to create THO. I love
49:21
y'all, I love you, Thank you. Anything you want to say before
49:29
I close out, well, I will tell you this was one of This
49:36
was one of the hardest birthday years for me in a long time. And
49:43
you know, you know that, you know this was a tough week because
49:45
you know Mark Markel, you know Markes and Juli Kirk also, and then
49:54
you know I was just starting to get used to celebrating birthdays and wishing him
49:59
a heavenly you know, heavenly birthday. And in the same week now I'm
50:02
doing it for my sister and and Markel, who was like a brother.
50:07
We was raised like brothers. And and just like I said, this was
50:12
one of the hardest birthday for me. And and I'm just kind of looking
50:19
forward to to celebrating my sister for the you know, for the future birthdays
50:23
and and because you know, she meant a lot to me even though we
50:28
you know, she was down south and we was up here in Connecticut,
50:30
and you know, I always say when she came up here and she and
50:36
she stayed with me that time. She made me mad because she so she's
50:42
so friendly with everybody. She was friendly with a neighbor that I didn't like.
50:46
And I went to work one day. I went to work one day
50:49
and I came home and I'm pulling up in front of my house and I
50:52
said, was that we're just talking to on my stuff? And I said,
50:55
oh lord, she got this food over here talking And I was like
51:00
I and I had told her one neighbors I didn't like, and the neighbors
51:04
that I did talk to, and I swear to Gods, the one neighbor
51:07
that I didn't and that was the neighbor that I didn't like. The most
51:12
she got she became friends with this neighbor. And I had no choice but
51:17
to but to bury the act and be friends with this neighbor because your mom
51:21
was not gonna let that go. And she and with her being my big
51:25
sister, she basically told me that I was gonna not like this person anymore
51:31
and I had to talk to them. We sat there on that porch man
51:35
till three o'clock in the morning on a Friday night. We sat there till
51:39
three o'clock in the morning. And that's the most interaction I had ever had
51:44
with this neighbor because I didn't like it. And and your mother, your
51:49
mother put a stop to that. I don't know how she did it.
51:52
They was just they was there. I came home, and she just she
51:55
just made me see, you gonna talk to them, You're gonna be friends
51:59
with them. And I was like all right. I was like, all
52:01
right, did sis. I wasn't in the place to argue with my sister
52:05
because I was so happy that she would that she came up, you know,
52:08
and I was trying so hard to wasn't interference with her and Poppy,
52:14
because you know how those two condict when they when they spend more than ten
52:16
minutes of count each other. You know, I used to always say,
52:20
no, no, you coming to my OUs. That's the first thing I
52:22
said. I said, no, you staying with me, and she was
52:23
like, all right, And I'm like, when I'm talking to these people,
52:27
I don't like them. I don't like them and I don't like them,
52:30
and she take the worst one to make me be friends with. And
52:31
to this day when I see this person, I laughed with them about I
52:37
ain't like you. If it wasn't for my sister, I would have never
52:40
liked you, because I told her not to talk to y'all and she taught
52:44
to y'all anyway, and then she told me I was I wasn't gonna not
52:46
like y'all, and she made me like them. And to this day when
52:51
I see them, I'm still cool with them. But if, like I
52:52
said, if it wasn't if it weren't for your mom, I wouldn't I
52:57
wouldn't have never been friends with them. But she was so cool with every
53:00
and everybody liked her that I have turned my enemies into print, and she
53:06
has room not for doing that. You guys. I love you guys for
53:09
being here and sharing all of our memories with and about Mom. But it's
53:16
time to go so you can talk. It's spent a whole lifetime sharing all
53:22
these stories, and we have plenty of time to make memories of our own
53:27
together. But before I go, you know the thing that always say,
53:32
and that is stay out of God's business. The only thing that he needs
53:36
you to do is be obedient to what he's called you to do. So
53:39
until next time, you guys, I'll see y'all on the twenty fifth.
53:45
I believe it is where I have a return guest, and you're gonna like
53:49
him because he was funny the first time he was on here. All right,
53:52
I love you guys, and until next time, see you light.
53:59
I like for your trade, all leduladd all things at used to be?
54:07
Where did all the blue sky? It's hot boys and misdow wind that blows
54:15
from the Lord and something well persons