Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / What happens when you are vulnerable in front of a narcissist

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What happens when you are vulnerable in front of a narcissist · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:01
  What is going on? Beautiful people.
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  Welcome to another episode of the nurses is code.
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  I'm your favorite self-aware narcissist mr.
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  Lee hammock better known as mental illness across all social
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  media platforms. This your first time seeing my
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  face or hear my voice. I'm a diagnosed narcissist.
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  And I use my platform on social media to raise awareness for
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  MPD. Get more people into therapy and
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  also validate the victims survivors and thrivers hoof of
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  said this Autumn of the drivers of the survivors to you and the
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  victims we love you all to today's episode is going to be
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  about what happens when a narcissist is vulnerable to you,
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  when a narcissist is vulnerable to you.
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  So yeah, if you haven't already hop on Amazon, take a look at
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  myself'. Love Journal, Lee hammock, I
• 0:42
  love me. A self-love Journal designed to
• 0:45
  help you rebuild their self love and self care and all the other
• 0:49
  good stuff. I'm doing my own, I'm aware.
• 0:52
  So I'm working on my own. Yeah, so that's what Amazon Lee,
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  hammock self-love. So, what happens with a
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  narcissist is vulnerable to you? I don't Want to say nurses are
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  never vulnerable. Yeah.
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  So this is what the thing I do hate about narcissistic
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  personality disorder and deal with it sometimes.
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  Is it not just a personality disorder having it but it just
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  also dealing with some of the stuff that some of the videos.
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  You see like all narcissist do this, all narcissist do that.
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  No narcissist ever vulnerable to you.
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  Yeah. Vulnerable narcissism is a real
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  name. There are literally vulnerable
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  narcissist out here who kind of you know, use their use their
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  vulnerability to manipulate you with they typically fall along,
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  they typically fall All more along the covert narcissistic
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  side or things like you, don't you, you just think they're
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  overly emotional person, but they're actually using their
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  vulnerability against you, they're sharing their trauma to
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  their sharing their like childhood trauma, which either
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  sharing how they got beat as a kid, they share and how their
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  mom abandoned them, or their dad, went to the store and got
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  some milk and didn't come back until 16 years later.
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  You see I'm saying they're sharing how Mom or Dad when I
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  got a pack of smokes and never came back and that's why I hate
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  women, you know, it's of life. My dad cheated on my mom and my
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  that's why I hate men, you know, that type of some of that
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  they'll be they'll be vulnerable with your emotions and things
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  like that to kind of reel you in like if a narcissistic
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  vulnerable nurse. If I narcissist this type of
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  narcissists was a fisherman they will have their like their
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  fishing line right in the bait at the end on the hook would be
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  vulnerability. The bait on the end of the hook
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  will be be their traumas, like that every time they catch me in
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  infancy and to go to the Deep, the deep water over here, trying
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  to catch. Give me an empath.
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  Here's childhood, trauma on the hook.
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  Maybe bring it out in the cache. This lines the Whip-It way
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  Splash. And then y'all because y'all
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  sitting over in the water you see this vulnerability or
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  vulnerable. So vote ability out.
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  All trauma. Let me fix them.
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  You just bite it and yank that you get, you bite it and get
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  yanked out. The water.
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  Use in saying, this is really just like that because you bite
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  the vulnerability, you get yanked out the water would, then
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  the water is your safe place. The water is your home, the
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  water is your friends and family, they want to isolate
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  you. So It's kind of like, you know,
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  they literally pull you out of the water safety and things like
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  that. I didn't know who.
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  Yeah, I didn't know where that was going, but I think it'll go
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  on the right place. I think it, I think it ended up
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  going in the right direction, just because they're, but this
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  is all just said, but that's literally the dynamic duo,
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  y'all. It's how it goes, but it's
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  narcissistic people for you. I'd tell ya, I was saying, like,
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  vulnerable, nurses, do exist. But what happens if they're
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  vulnerable to you? Is they feel like?
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  Now because I've been to vote, even if eat.
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  So even though Non vulnerable. Narcissist do the same thing
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  right here. Yo this is what even non
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  vulnerable and vulnerable. Narcissist do this once they
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  share their vulnerability with you.
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  First of all, they want they want you to share vulnerability
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  with them. You know, we want your
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  vulnerability to, hey, I share it with you now.
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  Hopefully, you overshare with me.
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  I shared a little bit with you now, hopefully, you're over.
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  Share it with me, you know, me. So now when you're vulnerable to
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  me, I'm going to use it against you later on.
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  I Not to use it against you. Hey, thank you sweetie.
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  Thank you for being so open, but two years down, the road, we
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  arguing. Now, your vulnerability, your
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  trauma is going to be balled up and balled up and thrown back at
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  you, you know, me but not said, once a narcissist is vulnerable
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  to you. This is going to sound weird
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  y'all. They don't trust you anymore.
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  Once this is what's up for not every nurse is the same job.
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  Well, once some narcissistic people are vulnerable to you,
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  they don't trust you anymore, Dave resent.
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  Some of them, some of us because I've done this before, we Resent
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  you for making us vulnerable and I didn't, I didn't know this in
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  the moment. So narcissist, I don't think
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  nurses notice in a moment, is like a subconscious thing.
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  It's like a subconscious defense mechanism because now, I've been
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  vulnerable in front of you. So now I feel like in a lot of
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  narcissi vulnerability as weakness.
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  Right? So now that I've been weak in
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  front of you, now I have to treat you a certain type of way,
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  either way. Now, I have to protect myself
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  against you because I've been open and vulnerable to you.
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  Now, I resent you for that. Now, I resent you for making me
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  have to be vulnerable to get. This point.
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  And a lot of times, the crazy thing about it is y'all a lot of
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  times, it's not always at the beginning, like would have
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  ultimate narcissist will live will lure you in denying
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  vulnerable narcissist, that type of person, they will use their
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  vulnerability in moments of Crisis against you my crisis.
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  I mean, when you get ready to leave the relationship, like
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  when you getting ready to leave the relationship, will you catch
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  them cheating? They hit you.
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  They've been lying to you. They've been stealing your
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  money. They've been you know, spreading
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  rumors about you. They just been, you know, they
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  They've been living a double life or something like that.
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  It's not always cheating but once they are devoted ability is
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  expressed. Like once you feel like they
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  feel like this crisis has taken over their life.
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  Now they're open and vulnerable to you because typically,
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  sometimes most times they're going to shut off to you,
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  they'll be shut off emotionally which is a big issue in toxic
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  relationships. When you deal with nurses, is
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  that they emotionally shut off from you, all right?
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  You're emotionally. Shut off from this person, y'all
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  are no longer talking you no longer.
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  You know there's no more affection among there's no more,
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  no more love and affection. There's no type of you know, day
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  They demonstrate on crying for you.
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  But when this crisis, strikes, guess what happens?
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  Here comes the tears. Here comes the, I love yous,
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  here comes the doing the things that you've been asking them to
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  do. Here comes the, you know, that
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  type of stuff I heard. Here's the, here's them going
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  above and beyond the Call of Duty to make you happy, here's
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  the emotions. Here's the love the care.
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  The kids. And here's the vulnerability
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  been asking for. Hey, here's my, here's my story.
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  You've been asking me to be open and honest with you for the last
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  18 years and I know I haven't done it, but since you caught me
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  cheating here, I can't even talk straight since you caught me
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  cheating. Here's some bone ability for you
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  here. Have at it, you know, you know,
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  open up and be vulnerable to you.
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  And he sometimes is your narcissistic person is feeling
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  vulnerable in those moments again.
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  But whether you take them back or not, after these spurts of
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  vulnerability, they're going to be angry at you internally for
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  making them have to do this because now they're going to
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  feel like you seen them at their weakest, you know who they
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  really are. You know me You know me.
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  It's not like that man. You know me, you know me so
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  because you know me better than anybody else.
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  Now I have to treat you a certain type of way, you know
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  me. So we get to this point.
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  We get into this Dynamic 18. Now I'm angry.
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  So I have to treat you a certain type of way because you see me
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  vulnerable. Now I have to I'm already
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  protecting myself against the world, but now that I've been
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  vulnerable to you, I had to protect myself against you even
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  more and you get it the worst because you might live with me,
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  we might, we might be in a relationship together.
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  We might be an assembly, might be in the same household.
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  We may have kids together, you know, we got to parent together.
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  So now, I have to do this type of stuff to protect myself.
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  So, once I become vulnerable is shifts to be being angry, and
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  having to hold you, I'm holding you accountable for making me
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  have to express this, vulnerability to you.
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  I have to hold you accountable right now.
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  For making me be this way for making me feel this way for
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  making me get this way. You know.
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  I mean there's literally literally the mindset that a lot
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  of narcissism toxic people have like I'm going to hold you
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  accountable for making me feel this type of way.
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  You get it. So you have to be in these
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  Dynamics, in these type of mindsets.
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  You have to be the one of the stands up for yourself.
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  A lot of time. I know people don't want to hear
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  that because I believe this doesn't make any sense.
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  Yeah, I'm just telling you the mind, the inner workings of a
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  lot of nurses like this is how it goes.
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  Sometimes like you have to be like once I'm vulnerable to you
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  and there's no going back out. Once they've expressed his
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  vulnerability is like once we let you inside this bubble, this
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  Shield, we have this like vulnerability force field.
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  We have once you're inside of it, once you step inside of it,
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  like Wang I'm in here 0 here. Super vulnerable.
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  Oh, you're super values. Oh, you're timid didn't hear
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  you. I'm in your safe place.
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  Are not in that. You're going to punish you, they
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  want you out of the bubble, they want you out of the bubble.
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  They want you out of this vulnerability space, so they're
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  going to treat you a certain type of where you are.
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  That's why I tell people, you have to prepare yourself for
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  these moments because once they're vulnerable to you, yeah,
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  you might feel good. It, you might feel good in the
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  moment because they've been vulnerable to.
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  You, you might thing, I do feel bad for you.
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  My hero. Oh, only that trauma.
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  Oh, I hate that for you. I didn't know your mom used to
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  beat you. I don't know you.
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  Smoke cigarettes and you will get you guys.
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  You guys second-hand smoking, you've been sick of your whole
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  life. I didn't know that.
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  Now, I feel bad for you. Now, I'll take you back but now
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  because you're taking me back, here comes the anger and
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  resentment. Because you've taken me back,
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  you said I'm saying that's a very unique dynamic in a very
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  different space to be in. But again the more you deal with
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  narcissistic people, y'all this is how it goes.
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  This is the mindset. This the end of workers.
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  So you have to stay strong, you have to stay in power and you
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  have to stay, you know, you just have to be wary because once
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  they're vulnerable to you. Yeah.
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  Sometimes they show vulnerability.
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  There's These they sure it doesn't.
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  Sometimes it's not even in moments of Crisis and sometimes
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  I'm a. Before I end, sometimes it's not
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  even in moments of Crisis, it's in moments.
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  Like they're drunk or they're like, they might be drunk or
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  there might be high on some kind of illegal substance.
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  They might be having too many, too many glasses of wine.
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  And here comes the vulnerability, right?
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  Or you might be giving birth or you might, they might give birth
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  or something like that and then you don't have own ability,
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  right? But they don't want to see that
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  you and you something, that's why you get some people in
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  emergency rooms like this is Some male nurses, make some
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  women are secluded under this. Well, they don't cry when their
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  kids are born. They, first of all, they kids
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  and I think that's crazy. Got a baby, they want to be
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  vulnerable. Even their, my wife tell you,
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  she would tell you, even when, even in funerals, when people
• 10:09
  pass away, don't even cry. You know, my wife will tell you
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  this, like she would tell you these sir these circumstances,
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  like she's my grandma passed away and I think my brother
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  called me on my comp somebody called me is like hey man, you
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  grab my passed away. I was like oh, that sucks.
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  And my wife could see my mood change.
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  So you get you. Okay.
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  What happened? She liked my work.
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  My grandma just passed away and he She likes up Church would
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  turn red. She was a she bought the Christ
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  you're like, oh my God, are you good?
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  I'm like yeah I'm good. I'm good.
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  I'm good, I'm good. That's what is this shot left in
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  this grocery shopping and I could tell she was just shocked.
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  It was just surprised which is surprising her.
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  So he's like, say it's not always going to be in moments of
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  Crisis. Sometimes it can be when they're
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  drunk or they're high on something or they're just super
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  tired or something like that, they might be vulnerable to you
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  then, but they were the end result is still gonna be the
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  same. They're still going to be angry
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  at you, but it's still gonna be residual.
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  Think they're going to feel like they need to be.
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  Now, this is really angry. They won't feel like they're
• 10:59
  going to feel like they need to be guarded against you because
• 11:02
  you've seen this part of me. You know what I mean?
• 11:05
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