Latest / The You Project / #1830 The Shadow Side Of Self-Help - Harps
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: I get a team. Hi. Happy whatever day it is
- 0:05Speaker 1: for you. It's nine o two on a planet me
- 0:10Speaker 1: nine o two in the am. It's the nineteenth of
- 0:12Speaker 1: the third, which makes it a Wednesday. And just got
- 0:17Speaker 1: back from the cafe talking to a few people, went
- 0:20Speaker 1: for a bit of a stroll through suburbia. It's going
- 0:23Speaker 1: to be warm today in Melbos, a thriving metropolis. I
- 0:26Speaker 1: always default, or periodically default into radio. Don't I ever
- 0:29Speaker 1: notice that I do a station idea and a time
- 0:32Speaker 1: check and a weather update. All we need to do
- 0:35Speaker 1: is go to Brian and the helicopter for a traffic report,
- 0:38Speaker 1: and we're fucking radio again. Nonetheless, it's not radio, it's podcast.
- 0:47Speaker 1: I have been thinking about this thing I want to
- 0:50Speaker 1: talk about for a while, and I wrote something over
- 0:53Speaker 1: the last few days. I often, this is my process.
- 0:58Speaker 1: I often to have an idea, I'll write. The idea
- 1:03Speaker 1: could be a few words, it could be a sentence.
- 1:06Speaker 1: And I think there's something in this my creative process
- 1:09Speaker 1: and my cognitive process for anyone who's interested. And it
- 1:13Speaker 1: might be like I've been working on this thing. Notice
- 1:17Speaker 1: how my mind goes in seven directions. Once I've been
- 1:19Speaker 1: working on this thing, for about a week, and it's
- 1:22Speaker 1: I want to do whether or not it's going to
- 1:25Speaker 1: be an article, whether or not it's going to be
- 1:26Speaker 1: a podcast, or whether or not it's going to be
- 1:29Speaker 1: a me and someone else podcast or a solo But
- 1:32Speaker 1: I want to talk about the myriad of variables around
- 1:38Speaker 1: being overweight, obesity and all of the physiological, psychological, emotional,
- 1:45Speaker 1: sociological stuff around that. Now, of course that this is
- 1:51Speaker 1: fraught with danger in twenty twenty five to talk about
- 1:54Speaker 1: such things. So my process is I write down a
- 1:57Speaker 1: sentence or two, I write an idea, and then I
- 1:59Speaker 1: think about how do I be honest and truthful but
- 2:03Speaker 1: also sensitive and aware, and how do I talk as
- 2:05Speaker 1: the exercise science guy who's trained thousands of people and
- 2:09Speaker 1: got vast, vast experience, but also as the once upon
- 2:13Speaker 1: a time fat child, fat teenager, and fat adult and
- 2:18Speaker 1: integrate all of that in a way where I can
- 2:20Speaker 1: share some thoughts and ideas around a topic. Then that
- 2:25Speaker 1: can be polarizing, but that's my process. And then it
- 2:30Speaker 1: might take me a week of jotting down things and
- 2:33Speaker 1: revisiting that page or that document on the computer, or
- 2:37Speaker 1: writing shit on the whiteboard or taking notes in my phone,
- 2:40Speaker 1: I'm off and out for a walk. I'll have an idea.
- 2:42Speaker 1: I put it in my phone or I either write
- 2:44Speaker 1: it or record it audio, and it might take a
- 2:48Speaker 1: month of fucking around back and forth until that initial
- 2:54Speaker 1: idea becomes a living, breathing for one of a better
- 2:58Speaker 1: term podcasts, post or conversely, sometimes I'll end up with
- 3:05Speaker 1: something that's kind of wordy, and I think this is
- 3:10Speaker 1: all as best I can tell, insightful and interesting and
- 3:15Speaker 1: as far as I know true, But it's way too
- 3:18Speaker 1: fucking long. People are not going to read all this,
- 3:20Speaker 1: or people are not going to listen to all this.
- 3:23Speaker 1: So sometimes I go the other way. I start with
- 3:25Speaker 1: something big and then I distill it into a twenty
- 3:28Speaker 1: or thirty word whiteboard message, which becomes a post on Instagram.
- 3:33Speaker 1: By the way, Instagram's going off like a frog and
- 3:35Speaker 1: a sock on Planet Jumbo. But anyway, so that is
- 3:40Speaker 1: my creative and cognitive kind of writing, thinking, recording process.
- 3:47Speaker 1: It's not very systematic, it's not very slick. It's not
- 3:50Speaker 1: something I would recommend, But as I always say, we're
- 3:54Speaker 1: trying to figure out what works for you, what works
- 3:58Speaker 1: for you optimally, what's your best way and so for me,
- 4:02Speaker 1: it seems to be that like if I sometimes if
- 4:06Speaker 1: I think, for example, I'm going to write an article
- 4:09Speaker 1: or I'm going to write something about it doesn't even matter,
- 4:12Speaker 1: pick a topic. But then I go, I'm going to
- 4:14Speaker 1: write that, and I'm going to city for sixty minutes,
- 4:16Speaker 1: and I'm going to write it till it's done and
- 4:18Speaker 1: it's going to be good, and then I'm going to
- 4:20Speaker 1: read it or share it or talk about it. And
- 4:23Speaker 1: the truth is that sometimes seven minutes into that process,
- 4:27Speaker 1: I'm thinking about breakfast, or I'm distracted with something else,
- 4:32Speaker 1: or the phone rings, or and so it doesn't always
- 4:36Speaker 1: work out the way that you want. Where I'm going
- 4:38Speaker 1: to sit at my computer right now and for I'm
- 4:40Speaker 1: just going to turn on this creativity switch. I'm going
- 4:43Speaker 1: to turn it on. The tap is going to flow
- 4:46Speaker 1: for two hours. It's going to be brilliant, and then
- 4:48Speaker 1: at midday I'll we done and bibbity bobby boo, the
- 4:51Speaker 1: world will be graced with my journeus. It doesn't work
- 4:54Speaker 1: like that, right, it doesn't work like that. So anyway
- 4:59Speaker 1: I've been thinking about up the value or lack thereof,
- 5:03Speaker 1: that was a long precursor wasn't it the value or
- 5:09Speaker 1: lack of value, the benefit or lack thereof the signs
- 5:15Speaker 1: or the bullshit, the truth or the untruth. Get to
- 5:19Speaker 1: it harps of self help, of what we call self help.
- 5:28Speaker 1: When I say self help, I'm talking about all the
- 5:34Speaker 1: stuff that gets shared, books, posters, memes, social media, Facebook, Instagram, snapchat,
- 5:46Speaker 1: whatever that is. No, that's not it is. What's the
- 5:48Speaker 1: other one? Bloody TikTok? You know, all of those various
- 5:52Speaker 1: mediums and platforms, stuff that comes from a stage, stuff
- 6:01Speaker 1: on television, stuff on radio, stuff on YouTube, stuff of course,
- 6:06Speaker 1: on podcasts. And some of that is some of that
- 6:14Speaker 1: is potentially transformational, Some of it is pseudoscience. Some of
- 6:19Speaker 1: it is based in ideas and thoughts and philosophies that
- 6:25Speaker 1: are thousands of years old, like stoicism, and some of
- 6:31Speaker 1: it's kind of almost just pop culture garbage. But anyway,
- 6:35Speaker 1: I want to talk about that because I think sometimes
- 6:39Speaker 1: something gets said or shared or written, and then people
- 6:45Speaker 1: who maybe don't understand the complexity of a certain topic
- 6:49Speaker 1: or challenge or idea and the totality of what it
- 6:54Speaker 1: takes to address that thing, or change that thing or
- 6:57Speaker 1: create that thing, buy into an over simplification of something,
- 7:02Speaker 1: and then don't get the results or the outcome that
- 7:08Speaker 1: they thought they would following this simplistic, overly simplistic, often
- 7:12Speaker 1: misleading pseudoscience, and then they're devastated. All right, So this
- 7:19Speaker 1: is what I've written over the last few days. I
- 7:20Speaker 1: want to share it with you. I'll kind of commentate
- 7:22Speaker 1: as I go. I've called this the shadow side of
- 7:27Speaker 1: self help. Sounds sinister, doesn't it. The self help industry
- 7:32Speaker 1: promises transformation, happiness, and success through simple formulas or more accurately,
- 7:38Speaker 1: formulae and positive thinking yep, yep. Beneath the shimmering surface
- 7:45Speaker 1: lies a troubling reality. Much of what passes for self
- 7:48Speaker 1: help is actually a hodgepodge of feel good platitude, pseudoscience,
- 7:54Speaker 1: and oversimplified solutions that can often do more harm than good.
- 8:00Speaker 1: Many popular self help teachings rely on the seductive but
- 8:03Speaker 1: scientifically dubious law of attraction good oh law of attraction,
- 8:10Speaker 1: the idea that positive thoughts magically and mysteriously attract positive outcomes.
- 8:17Speaker 1: This concept ignores the complex reality of systematic barriers, privilege,
- 8:23Speaker 1: the randomness of inherent life, and a myriad of other
- 8:28Speaker 1: intersecting and complicating and impacting variables, and when someone fails
- 8:33Speaker 1: to manifest their desires despite thinking positively, they're often left
- 8:39Speaker 1: blaming themselves, feeling shitty self loathing, rather than recognizing the
- 8:47Speaker 1: flawed premise on which they're operating. So, in other words,
- 8:53Speaker 1: they blame themselves. It's not the principle or the idea
- 8:59Speaker 1: or the magical concept that's the problem. It's me. I'm
- 9:02Speaker 1: the problem. I'm not doing it. So this is why
- 9:06Speaker 1: I say, sometimes self help, or what masquerades its self help,
- 9:10Speaker 1: is actually not only is it not helpful, it's damaging.
- 9:14Speaker 1: It's potentially harmful. It's potentially creating problems where there weren't any.
- 9:21Speaker 1: The self help industry thrives on creating problems, or some
- 9:25Speaker 1: of it does, on creating problems where none exists, and
- 9:30Speaker 1: then selling solutions to those fictitious problems. Normal human emotions
- 9:36Speaker 1: like occasional sadness or anxiety are pathologized as defects requiring intervention.
- 9:47Speaker 1: This commercialization of discontent creates an endless cycle of seeking
- 9:52Speaker 1: and purchasing cures for being human. A lot of self
- 9:57Speaker 1: help content promotes a dangerous indo digitalism by suggesting that
- 10:02Speaker 1: all problems and all solutions lie within the self. This
- 10:07Speaker 1: perspective conveniently ignores social, economic, and political factors that profoundly
- 10:16Speaker 1: impact and shape our lives. Social support, community connection, and
- 10:20Speaker 1: systemic change are frequently sidelined in favor of individual mindset shifts.
- 10:26Speaker 1: And while managing our mind, I think is the ultimate
- 10:30Speaker 1: challenge for us humans as we navigate life on the big,
- 10:34Speaker 1: big blue revolving ball. Put your teeth back in harps.
- 10:41Speaker 1: There are a bunch of, as I always talk about,
- 10:43Speaker 1: external out of our control variables that are going to
- 10:47Speaker 1: impact us as well. So we need need to navigate
- 10:51Speaker 1: both that internal world of us and that external world
- 10:55Speaker 1: that we inhabit. Perhaps most concerning is how self help
- 11:00Speaker 1: can function as a form of gas lighting. And when
- 11:04Speaker 1: people facing genuine hardship are told their circumstances result from
- 11:10Speaker 1: negative thinking or insufficient gratitude, it trivializes their struggles and
- 11:16Speaker 1: deflects attention from addressing real injustice. True personal growth often
- 11:22Speaker 1: involves embracing complexity, sitting with discomfort, and acknowledging that there
- 11:28Speaker 1: are no universal solutions. It requires critical thinking and discernment,
- 11:33Speaker 1: precisely the qualities that many self help gurus discourage In
- 11:38Speaker 1: favor of unquestioning belief and that whole kind of three
- 11:44Speaker 1: steps two five steps two. You know, here's my solution paradigm.
- 11:50Speaker 1: Join the thought cult, believe me by the idea, by
- 11:53Speaker 1: the program. You know. And while there are great programs,
- 11:58Speaker 1: there are great you know, presenters, there are great books,
- 12:01Speaker 1: there are great teachers. Just like in any field, there's
- 12:05Speaker 1: also the opposite. And as you know, I suggest here
- 12:12Speaker 1: all the time that Craig Harper is not the solution
- 12:15Speaker 1: to anything. In fact, I'm of myself, I'm no value
- 12:18Speaker 1: to you. I'm not the solution, but rather the guy
- 12:24Speaker 1: that is trying to steer you towards a solution, like
- 12:27Speaker 1: the conduit to ideas and strategies and information and resources
- 12:33Speaker 1: and perhaps knowledge and awareness and insight, none of which
- 12:38Speaker 1: is me. I'm just pointing towards that stuff. And if
- 12:42Speaker 1: I get, if I get to the point where I'm
- 12:45Speaker 1: trying to convince you that I'm the answer for you,
- 12:48Speaker 1: which I'll never get there. But if somehow I did,
- 12:51Speaker 1: you should definitely unfollow, unsubscribe, and not listen anymore. While
- 12:55Speaker 1: there are evidence based approaches to improving well being, they
- 12:58Speaker 1: really come packing in the simple marketable formulas that dominate
- 13:03Speaker 1: best seller lists. Real help might be less glamorous than
- 13:07Speaker 1: its self help counterpart, but it offers something far more valuable.
- 13:13Speaker 1: A significant portion of self help content is designed to
- 13:17Speaker 1: be emotionally uplifting rather than practically useful. And while it's
- 13:22Speaker 1: good to have a little bit of a emotional or
- 13:25Speaker 1: motivational or inspirational inputs, we still need to be strategic.
- 13:31Speaker 1: We still need to be able to solve real world
- 13:34Speaker 1: problems with real world practical strategies and solutions and phrases
- 13:39Speaker 1: like just believe in yourself or think positive, or I
- 13:44Speaker 1: can be all you can be, or you can do
- 13:47Speaker 1: anything you achieve. It sounds great, but it's just it's
- 13:52Speaker 1: just not helpful. It's inspiring, but it doesn't. It doesn't
- 13:57Speaker 1: add any real value or substance. And while mindset NOTTIM
- 14:00Speaker 1: is a matter, they're not on their own. They're not
- 14:03Speaker 1: magic bullets. The oversimplification of complex psychological, emotional, sociological, interpersonal,
- 14:11Speaker 1: and behavioral changes leads people to believe that motivation alone
- 14:17Speaker 1: is enough, when in reality, meaningful change requires effort, discipline,
- 14:21Speaker 1: self control, strategy, and sometimes professional guidance. Many self help
- 14:30Speaker 1: gurus make bold claims without scientific backings, pseudo scientific ideas
- 14:36Speaker 1: psychobabble such as rewhyre your brain instantly, really or raise
- 14:41Speaker 1: your vibrational frequency to attract success, misleading audiences to thinking
- 14:47Speaker 1: that there are shortcuts to personal growth reward without work,
- 14:53Speaker 1: getting to the top of the hill without doing any climbing.
- 14:56Speaker 1: And while neuroscience and psychology provide evidence based strategies for change,
- 15:03Speaker 1: these also take time and effort and consistency. It's not
- 15:10Speaker 1: some instant rewiring of the brain or mystical magical energetic shift.
- 15:16Speaker 1: Even widely accepted self help principles, like the idea that
- 15:20Speaker 1: it takes twenty one days to form a habit, that
- 15:26Speaker 1: it's not true. That's based in myth. There's no research
- 15:29Speaker 1: around that. There's no rigorous studies or science around that.
- 15:33Speaker 1: The reality is that behavioral change varies significantly among individuals
- 15:37Speaker 1: and depends on multiple factors, including reinforcement, environment, and psychological conditioning.
- 15:43Speaker 1: And think about the idea that you know, we go
- 15:46Speaker 1: twenty one days to form a habit. And also, I
- 15:48Speaker 1: think they say some people say break a habit, Well,
- 15:52Speaker 1: what if the habit I'm trying to break is a heroine,
- 15:57Speaker 1: a heroin addiction or whatever. It's that I should swear
- 16:01Speaker 1: less or whatef. It's that I should cut back on
- 16:04Speaker 1: my coffee from five to two a day. I mean
- 16:07Speaker 1: the idea that there is an arbitrary number of days
- 16:12Speaker 1: to form a habit or break a habit. I mean,
- 16:15Speaker 1: even just thinking logically, when we think of the myriad
- 16:18Speaker 1: of variables around the different types of addiction that exist
- 16:24Speaker 1: or habits that we want to make or break, and
- 16:27Speaker 1: then you think about the other variable of the individual,
- 16:31Speaker 1: like we are all psychologically, emotionally, energetically, biologically, physiologically, neurologically different. Now,
- 16:40Speaker 1: of course you know, of course you and I will
- 16:45Speaker 1: not change the same habit or create the same habit,
- 16:49Speaker 1: or eat the same food, or do the same thing
- 16:53Speaker 1: and produce the same outcome in the same amount of time,
- 16:57Speaker 1: because we ain't the same. And so this this idea
- 17:00Speaker 1: that pervades in you know, this pop psychology, self help
- 17:06Speaker 1: personal development space of you know, the three five seven
- 17:10Speaker 1: step plan to anything creates more problems and disappointment and
- 17:14Speaker 1: frustration for people than it does happiness, joy and long
- 17:21Speaker 1: term success. I guess another dangerous aspect of the self
- 17:25Speaker 1: help world is toxic positivity. So that's the idea that
- 17:31Speaker 1: you should always be happy and grateful and optimistic no
- 17:35Speaker 1: matter what. And while fostering a positive outlook and you know,
- 17:41Speaker 1: being the solution focused person is beneficial, but suppressing or
- 17:48Speaker 1: ignoring negative emotions can lead to emotional repression, increased stress,
- 17:54Speaker 1: and even a decline in mental health. So we're we're
- 18:00Speaker 1: of the problems. Like real self help acknowledges struggles and
- 18:05Speaker 1: successes and doesn't pretend that life should be all fucking sunshine, affirmations,
- 18:10Speaker 1: Disney movies and puppies. So where yep, life sometimes is
- 18:15Speaker 1: a motherfucker. It's messy, it's uncomfortable, it's unfair. Bad things
- 18:19Speaker 1: happen to good people, you know, people that we love die,
- 18:24Speaker 1: people that we love get sick, you know, all of
- 18:29Speaker 1: that stuff that you know. But in the middle of
- 18:31Speaker 1: all of that, the variable that we're trying to control
- 18:34Speaker 1: as much as possible is our thinking and choices and
- 18:38Speaker 1: behaviors and actions and reactions. But at the same time,
- 18:42Speaker 1: we're human. We're going to have good days and bad days.
- 18:45Speaker 1: We're going to get grumpy, we're going to get happy,
- 18:47Speaker 1: We're going to get sad, We're going to get pissed off,
- 18:49Speaker 1: We're going to get joyful, where we're going to find solutions,
- 18:53Speaker 1: we're going to obsess about problems that don't yet exist.
- 18:56Speaker 1: And then, as I always say, it's lunchtime. So this
- 18:59Speaker 1: is the part out of the human experience that you know,
- 19:03Speaker 1: I think we need to acknowledge we're not chasing perfection. Hopefully,
- 19:07Speaker 1: we're chasing improvement and growth and development in an intelligent,
- 19:13Speaker 1: maintainable way. I think also, you know, the self help industry,
- 19:20Speaker 1: if that's the right word, it can subtly suggest that
- 19:24Speaker 1: if you're not happy or you're not successful, then that's
- 19:29Speaker 1: your fault. Well, again, so many different factors that influence that,
- 19:36Speaker 1: and this kind of thinking can lead to unnecessary guilt
- 19:40Speaker 1: and self blame, and then the process ignore systemic environmental, financial, practical,
- 19:48Speaker 1: and psychological factors that influence all of us and our
- 19:51Speaker 1: well being and our mindset and our happiness and our
- 19:55Speaker 1: day to day, moment to moment experience. And not only
- 20:00Speaker 1: there is some self help advice misleading and doesn't lead
- 20:07Speaker 1: to a good outcomes or positive change. But sometimes it's damaging,
- 20:11Speaker 1: sometimes it's harmful. So advice like quit your job and
- 20:17Speaker 1: follow your passion, well, I think people should try and
- 20:21Speaker 1: find something that feels less like work and more like
- 20:25Speaker 1: a passion. I do think that, But at the same time,
- 20:31Speaker 1: I don't think we need to make that decision on
- 20:33Speaker 1: Monday and leave the job on Tuesday. If we're not
- 20:35Speaker 1: in a financial or practical situation to make that work.
- 20:39Speaker 1: And while it sounds appealing, it can be financially reckless.
- 20:44Speaker 1: But what we can do is we can take that
- 20:46Speaker 1: idea I would like to do something else. I would
- 20:49Speaker 1: like to get out of this job, or this industry
- 20:51Speaker 1: or this situation, and over time strategize and create a
- 20:59Speaker 1: pathway towards something that's much better than what we're going
- 21:02Speaker 1: to what we're currently doing. But stepping out of it
- 21:05Speaker 1: having an idea at twelve o'clock and throwing in the
- 21:07Speaker 1: toile at one pm probably not a great plan. Having
- 21:13Speaker 1: said all of that, I'm not saying that all self
- 21:17Speaker 1: help is bad. I literally live in the self help,
- 21:20Speaker 1: personal development, human behavior space. I like to think, you know,
- 21:25Speaker 1: as somebody who's falling towards the finished line of a
- 21:30Speaker 1: doctorate in psychology, I'd like to think that the stuff
- 21:33Speaker 1: that I share is hopefully use a friendly and it
- 21:36Speaker 1: makes sense, but it's also pretty sound in terms of
- 21:41Speaker 1: its scientific rigor. But as always, you know, I don't
- 21:47Speaker 1: believe something that I say because it seems to make sense.
- 21:52Speaker 1: Don't automatically believe it because of that or you like me,
- 21:58Speaker 1: But maybe consider it and take it for a test drive.
- 22:03Speaker 1: As I always say, if I say something that to
- 22:05Speaker 1: you seems like a good idea, then perhaps put it
- 22:09Speaker 1: into practice for a minute or a moment or an hour,
- 22:12Speaker 1: and then see what happens and do your own research.
- 22:17Speaker 1: So there's a valuable guidance out there, grounded in psychology,
- 22:20Speaker 1: behavioral science, real world kind of application. But I think
- 22:26Speaker 1: it's it's crucial that we all approach self help with
- 22:32Speaker 1: a critical mindset. So I've got a few questions that
- 22:37Speaker 1: I think are pertinent that we should ask ourselves as
- 22:40Speaker 1: we consider taking on a piece of advice that we
- 22:44Speaker 1: get from wherever it is, whether it's from a podcast
- 22:49Speaker 1: or a whiteboard post or someone else's ig or whatever
- 22:54Speaker 1: it is Facebook doesn't matter. The question one is is
- 22:57Speaker 1: this evidence based or just anecdotal? Now, just because something,
- 23:03Speaker 1: just because there isn't research on something, doesn't mean that
- 23:09Speaker 1: that anecdote might not be valuable or insightful. But it's
- 23:12Speaker 1: good to distinguish. It's good to know that just because
- 23:16Speaker 1: old mate Craig doesn't eat lunch, and just because Craig
- 23:21Speaker 1: gets good results on two meals a day, and just
- 23:26Speaker 1: because Craig does X, Y and Z, right, Well, that's
- 23:29Speaker 1: all anecdotal, that's all lived experience, that's all my experience, right,
- 23:34Speaker 1: And while that's evidence based in the one of one sense,
- 23:38Speaker 1: it's not broadly representative of everybody. So back to that.
- 23:44Speaker 1: You know, this is what I do, and this is
- 23:46Speaker 1: this is my protocol, this is how I did it.
- 23:50Speaker 1: These were the outcomes based on these outcomes, this started
- 23:54Speaker 1: these results, this is my interpretation, this is what I did,
- 24:00Speaker 1: this is why I did it, and this is what
- 24:02Speaker 1: I got. Right Now, we can also do a deep
- 24:06Speaker 1: dive into the science and we can look at broader
- 24:09Speaker 1: research and we can see what's happened on mass or
- 24:12Speaker 1: we can see what the science tells us about certain
- 24:15Speaker 1: protocols or certain treatments or certain programs or whatever it is.
- 24:21Speaker 1: But it's always good to you know, even if somebody
- 24:24Speaker 1: that you like and respect gives you a bit of
- 24:26Speaker 1: advice that seems to make sense, it's always good to
- 24:30Speaker 1: do a little bit more research. Inform yourself, or maybe
- 24:34Speaker 1: even if you want to be really boring, go and
- 24:37Speaker 1: read a few papers and a few studies. If you
- 24:39Speaker 1: don't know how to do that, it's probably not a
- 24:42Speaker 1: terrible thing to do to go into somewhere like Google scholar,
- 24:46Speaker 1: which is a really good starting point Google scholar to
- 24:51Speaker 1: be able to start to get an insight into reading
- 24:54Speaker 1: some kind of first hand research. And what's really good
- 24:59Speaker 1: about now is twenty twenty five. Now is you might
- 25:04Speaker 1: read something that and so much, especially that kind of
- 25:07Speaker 1: high level academic research paper stuff is mumbo jumbo. Well
- 25:15Speaker 1: it's true, most of it's true, but it's in language
- 25:19Speaker 1: that's very hard to decipher and understand sometimes. But you
- 25:22Speaker 1: can literally download those articles in the chap GP or
- 25:25Speaker 1: Claude or whatever AI you use, if you use AI
- 25:29Speaker 1: and say, can you explain this ten page report or
- 25:36Speaker 1: this ten page journal article in one page of user
- 25:41Speaker 1: friendly language, and it'll do it for you. So there's that.
- 25:47Speaker 1: The next question that we might want to ask in
- 25:49Speaker 1: terms of thinking critically about self help is does this
- 25:54Speaker 1: piece of advice offer real solutions to real problems, to
- 26:03Speaker 1: real complicated, real world problems and or challenges, or is
- 26:08Speaker 1: it a drastic over simplification that just sounds good. The
- 26:15Speaker 1: next question is does this piece of advice encourage self awareness,
- 26:24Speaker 1: self reflection, critical thinking and action, or just passive agreement
- 26:39Speaker 1: and conformity, like I think anything that doesn't make you think,
- 26:45Speaker 1: Like hopefully this little extravaganza right now makes you think
- 26:50Speaker 1: and it gets you to do a deeper dive, because ultimately,
- 26:55Speaker 1: you know, the world's your classroom. Every day is a
- 26:57Speaker 1: lesson you're the student. But also you know you need
- 27:02Speaker 1: to choose who your teachers are, who you're going to
- 27:06Speaker 1: listen to, and that you know that's a myriad of
- 27:11Speaker 1: people and a myriad of resources. But you need to
- 27:13Speaker 1: be discerning in terms of who you pay attention to
- 27:18Speaker 1: because there's you know, so much stuff available and perhaps
- 27:23Speaker 1: even more discerning I should say about who you trust.
- 27:29Speaker 1: Next question is is this information backed by you know, experts, science,
- 27:36Speaker 1: legit information or is it just is it a sales pitch?
- 27:40Speaker 1: Is that marketing? Is it clever marketing thinly disguised as
- 27:46Speaker 1: some kind of science, And there's so much of that,
- 27:50Speaker 1: so much of that. My next question is what is
- 27:54Speaker 1: my data telling me? What are my results, my outcomes
- 28:00Speaker 1: telling me? Because you and I are always producing results,
- 28:05Speaker 1: and if we're smart, we'll pay attention to those results.
- 28:09Speaker 1: We'll correlate the results back to our behavior, and will
- 28:12Speaker 1: correlate our behavior back to our intention and our goal
- 28:16Speaker 1: setting out, and then the data will tell us what
- 28:19Speaker 1: is working, what is not working, what is efficient, what
- 28:24Speaker 1: is inefficient. And so I think sometimes some of the
- 28:29Speaker 1: best lessons and the best insights and the best moments
- 28:33Speaker 1: of awareness and awakening is not to listen to Craig Harper,
- 28:38Speaker 1: but to listen to yourself, to listen to your body,
- 28:40Speaker 1: to listen to your own data. And I think, you know,
- 28:46Speaker 1: just while all of this stuff is, you know, not
- 28:50Speaker 1: all of this Some of this stuff is informative and
- 28:53Speaker 1: interesting and potentially helpful and supportive and inspirational. Your life
- 29:01Speaker 1: is the project, like your life is an ongoing research process.
- 29:06Speaker 1: If you make that. That is why, of course I
- 29:09Speaker 1: call this show that you project is because, and I've
- 29:12Speaker 1: said it many times, but on Planet You, you are
- 29:16Speaker 1: the project. The project. On Planet You is the person
- 29:21Speaker 1: in the mirror. You're trying to manage your mind and
- 29:23Speaker 1: your emotions. You're trying to manage your choices, You're trying
- 29:27Speaker 1: to manage your actions and reactions. You're trying to manage
- 29:29Speaker 1: your energy and your emotions and your feelings and your
- 29:33Speaker 1: doubts and your insecurity. You know, you're trying to manage relationships.
- 29:37Speaker 1: You're trying to manage your talent and resources. Like that
- 29:41Speaker 1: is you every day showing up to the cold face.
- 29:44Speaker 1: That is you trying to manage you. You know, you
- 29:48Speaker 1: are the project. You are the study. You are the researcher,
- 29:53Speaker 1: and you are the participant. You are the n equals
- 29:56Speaker 1: one on planet you. Yeah, real personal growth. It's not
- 30:03Speaker 1: about shortcuts or magical thinking or relentless positivity. It's about
- 30:09Speaker 1: It's about you, understanding you. It's about self awareness. It's
- 30:13Speaker 1: about effort. It's about work. It's about being the calm
- 30:17Speaker 1: and the chaos. It's about being the solution person. It's
- 30:21Speaker 1: about being able to deal with the unfairness, the bullshit,
- 30:26Speaker 1: the mayhem, the good days the bad days. Yeah, it's
- 30:32Speaker 1: all that. It's all that. It's all that real world,
- 30:35Speaker 1: practical stuff that is not necessarily holding out a hand
- 30:40Speaker 1: for money. It's not necessarily someone trying to manipulate or
- 30:44Speaker 1: coerce you into another program or product or something. And
- 30:51Speaker 1: it's really it's just ultimately, it's universal wisdom and insight
- 30:56Speaker 1: that we can all tap into if it's the right stuff.
- 31:01Speaker 1: I feel like I rambled there. You know. You know
- 31:03Speaker 1: when you get to the end of your thing, this
- 31:05Speaker 1: is what I do. I'm just going to ramble now,
- 31:07Speaker 1: fucking you know when you get to the end of
- 31:09Speaker 1: your thing and you go, fucking now, I was going good.
- 31:12Speaker 1: I'm just going to give you my honest self assessment. Now.
- 31:15Speaker 1: I felt like I was going good then for a while.
- 31:18Speaker 1: Then I got a bit waylaid and distracted. This is
- 31:21Speaker 1: the problem with me. This is the problem. This is
- 31:24Speaker 1: a learning moment for me and maybe few This is
- 31:27Speaker 1: the problem. When I freestyle, things are clearer and I
- 31:32Speaker 1: don't get tripped up. Like right now, I'm freestyling. There's
- 31:35Speaker 1: nothing written down. I didn't plan to do this. But
- 31:38Speaker 1: when I go, oh, I'm going to write something, and
- 31:40Speaker 1: I'm going to share that shit that I've written. And
- 31:42Speaker 1: then as I'm reading to you, as I'm going through
- 31:46Speaker 1: my dot points or my paragraphs, I realize as I
- 31:49Speaker 1: say it out loud, eh, this fucking reads better than
- 31:52Speaker 1: it sounds, you know. Um, But anyway, I will solder on,
- 31:59Speaker 1: I will keep doing I like you. I will keep
- 32:01Speaker 1: doing my very best to be better for me and
- 32:04Speaker 1: also for you. I will do my very best to
- 32:07Speaker 1: be a better teacher and coach and mentor and podcaster
- 32:13Speaker 1: and you, for better or worse. While I was going
- 32:16Speaker 1: to say you will, you will be part of my
- 32:19Speaker 1: fuck up. So you may not. You may go not
- 32:22Speaker 1: last episode. I'm out. Don't blame you anyway. Let's see
- 32:27Speaker 1: how much of this stuff we can get through together.
- 32:30Speaker 1: Love your collective guts is. Have a good day. It's
- 32:35Speaker 1: now nine thirty eight. I'm a little peckish. See you tomorrow.