Latest / The Ben Maller Show / The Fifth Hour: "Camp Maller" Mail Bag
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Kabooms.
- 0:02Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
- 0:05Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
- 0:09Speaker 2: of the Old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
- 0:12Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
- 0:15Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
- 0:18Speaker 1: Wow.
- 0:18Speaker 2: The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special.
- 0:22Speaker 2: The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
- 0:28Speaker 1: In the air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with Me Ben
- 0:35Speaker 1: Maller and Danny g Radio and Happy Sundays. Sundays Sundays,
- 0:41Speaker 1: we hang out together. On the twenty third day of February,
- 0:47Speaker 1: early early, early, it's National Hospitality Workers Appreciation Day. I
- 0:53Speaker 1: don't even know what that means. I kind of do
- 0:55Speaker 1: know what that means, but there you go, celebrate appropriately.
- 0:58Speaker 1: And it's National Banana Bread Day today, so celebrate eating
- 1:02Speaker 1: banana bread. When your bananas go bad, make banana bread,
- 1:05Speaker 1: do not throw do never throw the bananas away. And
- 1:08Speaker 1: you can also celebrate with a tutsi Roll's big day
- 1:11Speaker 1: for tutsi rolls today as well.
- 1:13Speaker 3: I think both things came from the Great Depression, the
- 1:16Speaker 3: tutsi roll and the banana bread. Oh yeah, the banana bread.
- 1:18Speaker 3: I know, the banana bread. Did I think the Tutsi
- 1:21Speaker 3: role was popular for great grandparents?
- 1:25Speaker 1: Yes, my grandfather loved the Tutsi roll, loved it, loved it.
- 1:30Speaker 1: It starred. You want some tushy Tucci Tutsi.
- 1:34Speaker 3: Rollshy how your family got started?
- 1:38Speaker 1: Well, well, there you go. That's funny. It's national Tutsy
- 1:44Speaker 1: roll today. So here's some fun facts on Tutsi rolls.
- 1:48Speaker 1: Leo Hirshfield, an immigrant, opened his candy shop in Brooklyn
- 1:53Speaker 1: in eighteen ninety six and he sold this jelly powder thing.
- 2:00Speaker 1: In nineteen oh seven, he submitted the patent for the
- 2:04Speaker 1: development of what became the Tutsi role. He named the
- 2:09Speaker 1: candy after his daughter, Claire, whose nickname was Tutsi. So,
- 2:15Speaker 1: all right, there you go Tutsi and became very popular
- 2:19Speaker 1: right away. So this guy in nineteen oh seven got
- 2:23Speaker 1: the patent and by nineteen oh eight they were selling everywhere.
- 2:30Speaker 1: And then this guy made a fortune selling Tutsi roles
- 2:35Speaker 1: and then sold the company later on and the rest
- 2:40Speaker 1: is history. But it was born nineteen oh seven and
- 2:44Speaker 1: named after the daughter, and it's been tremendously popular.
- 2:50Speaker 3: That was crazy because last weekend. On the flight home
- 2:54Speaker 3: from San Jose to lax CoA, sabb bust out a
- 2:59Speaker 3: tutsi role up and man Brenda gave me the side
- 3:03Speaker 3: eye because she didn't want him having a sticky candy,
- 3:07Speaker 3: but he held it like a pro. I just texted
- 3:10Speaker 3: you the photo I took while we were taking off.
- 3:14Speaker 3: He's holding his very first fitzi roll pop en. Did
- 3:18Speaker 3: he enjoy the experience?
- 3:20Speaker 1: Oh?
- 3:20Speaker 3: Man? The problem was we thought he was going to
- 3:22Speaker 3: choke to death on this thing because he shoved it
- 3:25Speaker 3: in his mouth and then just held it there, trying
- 3:28Speaker 3: to devour the entire tutsi roll pop.
- 3:32Speaker 1: Oh, I see, I'm looking at the photo here. Yeah,
- 3:34Speaker 1: he looks so very He looks confident and satisfied and
- 3:39Speaker 1: happy at the same time. He's got all a lot
- 3:40Speaker 1: of them.
- 3:41Speaker 3: Yeah, got the stick He turned into a pro quickly.
- 3:45Speaker 3: And they say, how many bites to the center of
- 3:47Speaker 3: the Titsi roll pop? Well, for CoA, it was two bites.
- 3:50Speaker 1: Two bites, that's all you need right there, but two bites.
- 3:52Speaker 3: And then his mom took it away and said, don't
- 3:54Speaker 3: you ever take one of those out in front of
- 3:56Speaker 3: him again.
- 3:57Speaker 1: Dah man, Mom, He's got to be the party pooper,
- 4:00Speaker 1: bad job.
- 4:01Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm always in trouble.
- 4:03Speaker 1: Ah man, oh they uh you mentioned World War Two,
- 4:08Speaker 1: which you for the Tutsi role. Tutsi roles were included
- 4:12Speaker 1: as a ration during World War Two because they didn't sport.
- 4:17Speaker 3: It makes sense, and I think in some of our
- 4:19Speaker 3: Halloween bags we got Tutti roles that were still from
- 4:23Speaker 3: that same war.
- 4:24Speaker 1: World War Yeah. Yeah, Frank Sinatra supposedly loved Tutsi roles.
- 4:28Speaker 1: He was a big fan of the Tutsi roll. Wow.
- 4:31Speaker 3: Yeah, how come in the in the pop they taste good,
- 4:34Speaker 3: But just the Tutsi roll itself, you know, the long ones,
- 4:40Speaker 3: especially if they were hard Tutsi roll. Yeah, grohost man,
- 4:43Speaker 3: I mean you you threw those away, right, or you
- 4:46Speaker 3: try to give them away.
- 4:48Speaker 1: So you just said you don't like the long and
- 4:49Speaker 1: hard ones.
- 4:50Speaker 3: Is that what you did? You just that's not what
- 4:52Speaker 3: I said.
- 4:53Speaker 1: Sounded like what you said there.
- 4:55Speaker 3: I said it in two separate sentences. Oh you did.
- 4:58Speaker 1: I don't know. I can edit that together. We'll get
- 5:00Speaker 1: that out right there. Let's have a mind time, all right,
- 5:04Speaker 1: Let's get to the actual mail bag. These are actual
- 5:07Speaker 1: letters by actual people from all over God's Green Earth.
- 5:11Speaker 1: It's mail Bag, and we thank you in advance for
- 5:27Speaker 1: submitting a question and being part of the show. If
- 5:31Speaker 1: you would like to send a correspondence in for a
- 5:34Speaker 1: future episode of the mail Bag, you can do that
- 5:37Speaker 1: care of Reeal fifth Hour at gmail dot com. That's
- 5:40Speaker 1: real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. And first up
- 5:44Speaker 1: we go to San Diego. We was just talking about
- 5:48Speaker 1: that yesterday the San Diego Zoo. Dave in San Diego
- 5:51Speaker 1: rights and he says, hey, Ben and Danny, I saw this.
- 5:54Speaker 1: I thought of you two guys. The Border Patrol has
- 5:57Speaker 1: seen more people smuggling eggs on the southern border because
- 6:03Speaker 1: of the ridiculous prices that are being charged for eggs
- 6:07Speaker 1: at stores like Costco and whatnot. You guys want to
- 6:10Speaker 1: get in on a little side hustle as we bootleg eggs.
- 6:16Speaker 1: Dave in San Diego, how much money you think we
- 6:19Speaker 1: can make at this? That's my father, my grandfather. Now
- 6:24Speaker 1: this is a story I heard as a kid. I
- 6:25Speaker 1: don't know if it's true or not, but there was
- 6:27Speaker 1: like a family legend. I think somebody might have been
- 6:28Speaker 1: just trying to impress me that my grandfather, during a
- 6:32Speaker 1: prohibition at least a couple of times did some bootleg
- 6:37Speaker 1: to bring and he was living in Massachusetts and he'd
- 6:40Speaker 1: go up to Canada get some booze and bring it back.
- 6:43Speaker 1: That's the legend in the family. Nice.
- 6:47Speaker 3: So I think, Dan, all these years later, you go
- 6:49Speaker 3: to Costco and get Kirkland brand outoll for your get togethers.
- 6:53Speaker 1: Yes, yes, well we've come a long way, baby, But no,
- 6:56Speaker 1: I think we could go down to Tijuana on like
- 7:00Speaker 1: Tuesday morning and then get a truck. I'll rent a truck,
- 7:04Speaker 1: we'll fill it up with eggs, and then we'll come
- 7:07Speaker 1: back and we'll stand outside Costco and we'll whisper to people,
- 7:11Speaker 1: I got eggs, eggs, egzag, you know, something like that,
- 7:14Speaker 1: and then Dave can be the middle man. He can Actually,
- 7:17Speaker 1: I guess Dave could go to Tijuana get the eggs.
- 7:20Speaker 1: But they're still cheap in Tijuana, right, That's what I heard.
- 7:22Speaker 1: They're in Mexico. They're still cheap, but here they're not
- 7:25Speaker 1: luinging eggs. Think of all the eggs we wasted as kids.
- 7:29Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, In fact, yeah, my wife was pointing
- 7:34Speaker 1: out some of the people are still getting egged. You know,
- 7:36Speaker 1: kids are still egging other kids. That's a much more
- 7:39Speaker 1: expensive prank now than we were little, right when we
- 7:42Speaker 1: were in high school and you'd egg somebody's car or
- 7:44Speaker 1: something like that, or or their house. But now you
- 7:47Speaker 1: can't be doing that, which it doesn't eggs.
- 7:50Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't toilet paper people's homes anymore either, unless
- 7:53Speaker 3: you take out a small loan.
- 7:55Speaker 1: Yeah, that's blasphemy. You can't do it, especially after the
- 7:59Speaker 1: COVID thing. That's the most valuable resource we have in
- 8:01Speaker 1: a global disasters, toilet paper, bottle of water, and now
- 8:06Speaker 1: it's eggs. John from Hartford, Connecticut writes, and he says, Guys,
- 8:11Speaker 1: I don't know if you saw this story this week,
- 8:13Speaker 1: but as a proud resident of Connecticut, I wanted to
- 8:16Speaker 1: get your thoughts on it. And he sent me a
- 8:19Speaker 1: link to a story that says the state of Connecticut
- 8:23Speaker 1: is trying to convince the United States all the other
- 8:26Speaker 1: states that it is the pizza capital of the United States.
- 8:31Speaker 1: So when you think of pizza, Danny, and this is
- 8:35Speaker 1: not the question from John, he just want to know
- 8:37Speaker 1: our thoughts. So when you think of pizza, what do
- 8:40Speaker 1: you think of When I think of pizza, I think
- 8:43Speaker 1: of Chicago, and I think of New York. When I
- 8:45Speaker 1: think of pizza in America, I do not think the
- 8:47Speaker 1: first thing I think of it New York. I think
- 8:50Speaker 1: of New York pizza, but I also think of Chicago
- 8:53Speaker 1: Deep dish pizza. The state. According to the story what's
- 8:58Speaker 1: his name, John sent they found that there are thirteen
- 9:02Speaker 1: hundred and seventy six pizza restaurants in Connecticut, and New Haven,
- 9:07Speaker 1: Connecticut has sixty three of them. And they claim that
- 9:12Speaker 1: Connecticut leads the national rankings when it comes to pizzeria's
- 9:16Speaker 1: per capita locally owned establishments. So they're pumping this up here, Danny,
- 9:23Speaker 1: that per capita they are nambarwan. And this story has
- 9:29Speaker 1: a link from the state controller or no, not straight controler,
- 9:34Speaker 1: the state comptroller. I don't know what that is in Connecticut,
- 9:38Speaker 1: and it highlights the multi billion dollar pizza industry in Connecticut.
- 9:44Speaker 3: Have you seen that meme about Pittsburgh. They have a
- 9:46Speaker 3: Pittsburgh style pizza where they bank the dough and then
- 9:51Speaker 3: they put raw ingredients, all the ingredients uncooked on top
- 9:55Speaker 3: of the baked dough.
- 9:57Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that is the thing. I thought that
- 9:59Speaker 1: was fake, but it's it's legit. I don't I don't
- 10:03Speaker 1: think it's all over Pittsburgh. I think it's like a
- 10:05Speaker 1: little small part of Pittsburgh. But it's disgusting.
- 10:09Speaker 3: It is.
- 10:10Speaker 1: Yeah, they put cold cheese and the pepperoni or whatever
- 10:14Speaker 1: on there. Yeah, nasty, that's brutal.
- 10:17Speaker 3: Man.
- 10:18Speaker 1: So they say number of pizza restaurants, and then per
- 10:21Speaker 1: ten thousand people, they say that Connecticut is number one,
- 10:24Speaker 1: Like we're in California, we do the show from LA
- 10:28Speaker 1: it's forty fortieth. New York is fourteenth. They've got they've
- 10:33Speaker 1: got a graph. This is what John, your tax dollars
- 10:37Speaker 1: are doing there in Connecticut. You're you're you're getting graphs
- 10:41Speaker 1: on pizza restaurants from the State Comptroller Office for the
- 10:45Speaker 1: state of Connecticut. And it's kind of per highest family
- 10:51Speaker 1: owned independent pizza restaurants Connecticut at seventy eight point eight.
- 10:56Speaker 1: This is unbelievable.
- 10:58Speaker 3: I mean, this is well, they need something and to
- 11:00Speaker 3: rept their state, not just Aaron Ornandez oh Man.
- 11:04Speaker 1: That's that's nuts. This goes us six pages of pizza propaganda,
- 11:10Speaker 1: six pages of it. That is that is wild to me.
- 11:14Speaker 1: So no, I appreciate you sending me the story.
- 11:17Speaker 3: John.
- 11:17Speaker 1: I did not see that this week in my copious
- 11:20Speaker 1: amounts of research for the show. But there it is
- 11:24Speaker 1: Connecticut the pizza capital, unless it's not.
- 11:27Speaker 3: Now.
- 11:28Speaker 1: Connecticut's where a lot of people that live in New
- 11:30Speaker 1: York or work in New York live, and then they
- 11:33Speaker 1: drive into the city or take the train into the city,
- 11:35Speaker 1: and then they go back. And I briefly worked in
- 11:38Speaker 1: Connecticut for a year. I had a job at NBC.
- 11:42Speaker 1: This goes back twelve thirteen years ago. I think it's
- 11:47Speaker 1: been longer than that, even it's twenty twenty five. But
- 11:51Speaker 1: we had a gig in in Connecticut. We flew back
- 11:55Speaker 1: there every every month for a year and did the
- 12:00Speaker 1: TV once like for a week. And I don't remember
- 12:04Speaker 1: the pizza being amazing. I mean it was fine, it
- 12:07Speaker 1: was whatever. And I did eat at Bobby V's restaurant
- 12:12Speaker 1: a lot. Bobby Valentine the the manager of the Mets
- 12:16Speaker 1: and the he's I think he's still a broadcaster for
- 12:19Speaker 1: the UH for the what do you call it the Angels, right,
- 12:25Speaker 1: I mean last year he was I don't.
- 12:26Speaker 3: Know if it still is. What did you have to
- 12:28Speaker 3: do there when Aaron Hernandez had you sworn into his gang?
- 12:32Speaker 1: Well, you know it, you know he did most of
- 12:35Speaker 1: the work, Danny, I didn't have to do much.
- 12:37Speaker 3: It was yeah, you're at the lookout.
- 12:43Speaker 1: Thank you for the story. But I think, do you
- 12:47Speaker 1: think I'm looking right now to see if Bobby V's
- 12:49Speaker 1: is still open? I was wondering. It's been been a
- 12:52Speaker 1: long time since I've been there. It's in Stanford, Connecticut,
- 12:55Speaker 1: which is most famous Stanford, Connecticut for being the headquarters
- 12:59Speaker 1: of Professional the WWE has their world global offices in Stamford, Connecticut.
- 13:07Speaker 1: But there are two locations, three locations, No, no, no, two
- 13:12Speaker 1: locations of Bobby Bobby V's. Okay, what is next? Alf
- 13:17Speaker 1: from the powder room rights into the mail bag. He says,
- 13:19Speaker 1: have either of you, gentlemen, ever reached your move goal
- 13:22Speaker 1: on your Apple Watch while dropping a deuce on the toilet?
- 13:26Speaker 1: I'm asking for a friend humble brag bucket list from
- 13:31Speaker 1: Alf in the powder room. No, No, I have not.
- 13:37Speaker 1: I have started to work out more since the TV
- 13:40Speaker 1: show ended, but I do not recall ever while partaking
- 13:45Speaker 1: on the throne there crossing over the rubicon. I do
- 13:49Speaker 1: not think that's happened. Alf also says, I'm not really
- 13:52Speaker 1: that bad at scrabble? Is that how you treat all
- 13:55Speaker 1: your radio friends. Yeah, so, Alf, A couple of fans
- 13:58Speaker 1: of the show have hooked up with me on the
- 14:00Speaker 1: Scrabble game on the iPhone and the smartphone and all that,
- 14:05Speaker 1: and so far I'm not lost to a listener. That's
- 14:11Speaker 1: a bit of my passion. Alf is the game. I'm
- 14:16Speaker 1: in it to win it, and so Alf and Noah
- 14:21Speaker 1: in Austin, I have been partaking in Scrabble playing those guys,
- 14:26Speaker 1: and I'm absolutely destroying Alfie.
- 14:30Speaker 3: Yeah, well, it would probably help if we're smarter than
- 14:33Speaker 3: a fifth grader?
- 14:34Speaker 1: How dare you, Danny g Alf?
- 14:36Speaker 3: Well, no, that's a new game coming out soon, right,
- 14:39Speaker 3: I want to see how many of your listeners are
- 14:42Speaker 3: smarter than a fifth grader?
- 14:43Speaker 1: Well, or smarter than the FSR Tech Queen, which is
- 14:48Speaker 1: I think, like yeah exactly, maybe like third grade. I
- 14:52Speaker 1: don't know, who knows that.
- 14:53Speaker 3: Do you think you will ever get beaten by a
- 14:55Speaker 3: listener at Scrabble? Yeah?
- 14:58Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I don't play great every game. I'm
- 15:03Speaker 1: sure there's I might even lose to alf who knows
- 15:06Speaker 1: or Noah. I'm doing well right now. See these guys,
- 15:09Speaker 1: they'll get me, you know. We play over a couple
- 15:12Speaker 1: of days I'm not on my phone all the time
- 15:14Speaker 1: playing scrabble. But at some point they're going to catch
- 15:16Speaker 1: me where I'm kind of distracted and I'm not paying
- 15:18Speaker 1: that close attention, and then I'm cooked and and I'll lose.
- 15:22Speaker 1: I mean I do lose every once in a while.
- 15:24Speaker 1: JJ from Jacksonville writes in he says, hey, Ben and
- 15:28Speaker 1: Danny like the pod, you think they should put gators
- 15:32Speaker 1: in the sewers in La in Vegas to keep people
- 15:35Speaker 1: out like we have here in Florida. And he sent
- 15:38Speaker 1: me a story where there's research out this week that
- 15:43Speaker 1: thousands of animals, including hundreds of alligators and snakes, are
- 15:49Speaker 1: living in the Gainesville sewage system. They are hunting, they
- 15:54Speaker 1: are traveling, they are living their lives. They are breeding
- 15:58Speaker 1: inside the ground of Jacksonville, the sewage system.
- 16:04Speaker 3: That must be chicken beer bear and getting it on
- 16:06Speaker 3: underneath the street there.
- 16:08Speaker 1: It's like teenage mutant ninja turtles. But it's the real deal.
- 16:12Speaker 1: And these these gators not, of course, crocodiles. These are
- 16:17Speaker 1: American gators, not the crocodiles which are common in Florida.
- 16:21Speaker 1: They normally reside in marshes, swamps, rivers, farms, farm ponds
- 16:26Speaker 1: and lakes, and they aren't the only the only ones
- 16:31Speaker 1: known to roam there, they said. According to an urban naturalist,
- 16:35Speaker 1: the reptiles were recently documented traveling throughout the sewage system
- 16:39Speaker 1: along with a bunch of other animals. The story from
- 16:41Speaker 1: actually the BBC they had all kinds of different reptiles
- 16:46Speaker 1: and amphibians that were just cruising around there. And what
- 16:51Speaker 1: if you have to go in there, Like, aren't there
- 16:53Speaker 1: people that work for the city of Gainesville that have
- 16:55Speaker 1: to go in there and like clean fixed stuff. You
- 16:58Speaker 1: imagine surrounded by gators and give you a We'll give
- 17:02Speaker 1: you like a gun and some pepper spray or something.
- 17:05Speaker 1: You'll be good.
- 17:06Speaker 3: If it was our company, they would just give you
- 17:10Speaker 3: a FEMA card.
- 17:11Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you'll be good. Yeah, he's you're fine, you're
- 17:14Speaker 1: protecting up.
- 17:15Speaker 3: Here's a FEMA card. Go to work.
- 17:16Speaker 1: Yeah, be happy, be happy now, be happy now. Next
- 17:20Speaker 1: up is Mike in Fullerton. He says, Yo, Ben and
- 17:24Speaker 1: Danny g Have either of you seen this video making
- 17:26Speaker 1: the rounds on AX about a day in the life
- 17:29Speaker 1: of is he the Corgy? And then he sent the
- 17:32Speaker 1: link here. It's the most horrible thing I've seen in years.
- 17:36Speaker 1: Does it make you, guys wish you had a corgy?
- 17:39Speaker 3: Yeah?
- 17:39Speaker 1: This is you know, this is This is the video
- 17:43Speaker 1: clip of a former FSR employee, part of the Alumni
- 17:47Speaker 1: Association at the Great Corgy Race at Santa Anita Park
- 17:53Speaker 1: and Mike, I'm starting to think that the Mic and
- 17:57Speaker 1: Fullerton account is actually Ryan Finley and it's his burner
- 18:02Speaker 1: account and he's created this character Mike and Fullerton. Does
- 18:06Speaker 1: anyone think that that's possibility, anybody other than me?
- 18:10Speaker 3: No?
- 18:11Speaker 1: Man, daddy, Yeah, And then he says, next time, Ben,
- 18:16Speaker 1: you get swarm by a bunch of AI girlfriend body accounts,
- 18:20Speaker 1: can you please send a few my way in a
- 18:22Speaker 1: bit of a dry spell. Thanks, that's from Mike. Yeah,
- 18:27Speaker 1: so Mike and Fullerton, he made a joke about AI
- 18:33Speaker 1: I needing an AI girlfriend or something along those lines.
- 18:36Speaker 1: And so what happened was all the AI girlfriend accounts,
- 18:40Speaker 1: they're all automated and they just search for AI girlfriend.
- 18:45Speaker 1: And since Mike tagged me in that post, I was
- 18:50Speaker 1: getting endless messages from the AI girlfriend accounts on social media.
- 18:56Speaker 1: And this seemingly is a pretty big business. There's some
- 19:00Speaker 1: money to be made there. I remember we talked about
- 19:03Speaker 1: the story of some people that created a really hot
- 19:08Speaker 1: looking AI woman and they're making money with her as
- 19:13Speaker 1: an influencer, and she has supposedly millions of people following her. Now,
- 19:18Speaker 1: I continue to be a skeptic, a massive skeptic when
- 19:23Speaker 1: it comes to the number of followers. Like there's more
- 19:28Speaker 1: people on Instagram than there are in the world, right
- 19:32Speaker 1: if you look at the number of Instagram accounts and
- 19:35Speaker 1: how many people have a million followers, and like, the
- 19:38Speaker 1: math just doesn't work out. Even if you use malor math,
- 19:41Speaker 1: it doesn't really work out. But anyway, listen, that's great,
- 19:45Speaker 1: that's wonderful. Congratulations. I'm a skeptic. I am just a
- 19:51Speaker 1: skeptic by nature, and it's the matrix and all that,
- 19:55Speaker 1: and that's that's where I stand. That is where I stand.
- 20:00Speaker 1: Any thoughts on that, Danny.
- 20:02Speaker 3: I was just thinking about this would have come in
- 20:04Speaker 3: handy possibly for you back when you were in the
- 20:07Speaker 3: dating world.
- 20:09Speaker 1: Yeah, even then. I always try to find real women,
- 20:12Speaker 1: you know, not the not the fake ones.
- 20:14Speaker 3: But uh, you know, but this generation right now, like
- 20:19Speaker 3: they're they're fine just having a relationship or talking to
- 20:24Speaker 3: a digital voice like you see the ads now for
- 20:28Speaker 3: the for the new phones that are out where you
- 20:30Speaker 3: can just have a conversation and get advice from an
- 20:34Speaker 3: AI like that seems to be the wave of the
- 20:37Speaker 3: future right now. God, do you see that ad right
- 20:41Speaker 3: where that guy is getting ready for his job interview?
- 20:45Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not. Yeah, come on, don't you you need real,
- 20:49Speaker 1: like real the real human connection, don't you? Maybe not?
- 20:53Speaker 2: Yeah?
- 20:53Speaker 3: Well no, I mean we maybe we're old schools so
- 20:56Speaker 3: we did. But the kids nowadays that I think they're
- 20:59Speaker 3: going to be okay having robots.
- 21:01Speaker 1: Yikes. Barry the Great Barry yo yo Ma Benny from
- 21:06Speaker 1: South Carolina for now until he moves somewhere else. He says,
- 21:10Speaker 1: This Bill Miller guy is terrible at tossing to you.
- 21:13Speaker 1: I think you need to have a heart to heart
- 21:16Speaker 1: with him. Maybe he should toss to you using one
- 21:19Speaker 1: of your twenty five hundred nicknames as an example, it
- 21:23Speaker 1: would be something like, now, back to Benny the Bopper. Yeah,
- 21:28Speaker 1: back to the Great, to Benny the Bopper. That's a
- 21:30Speaker 1: fine idea, and I will have a meeting with that.
- 21:34Speaker 3: H It's a really bad idea. No.
- 21:37Speaker 1: No, Bill Miller is an algorithm, So all we have
- 21:39Speaker 1: to do is type a few words into the algorithm
- 21:41Speaker 1: and all of a sudden he will start spinning out.
- 21:44Speaker 1: Mallard nicknames such as the spin Master of misinformation, the
- 21:48Speaker 1: bannering Broadcaster, the Beethoven of vs. The Curmudgeon of commentary,
- 21:52Speaker 1: the Chasm of sarcasm, how about shut up? The tsarev Zany,
- 21:58Speaker 1: the dark Knight of week night sports radio, the Molul
- 22:01Speaker 1: of mischief, Benny the brazen King of z Moneyball Mailler,
- 22:07Speaker 1: Benny the Bomb. But he's ever called you that facisis fox?
- 22:11Speaker 1: What are you talking about?
- 22:12Speaker 3: Benny?
- 22:12Speaker 1: The bopper at the PA Guy Dodgers Stadium called me
- 22:15Speaker 1: that a facisis fox. Sultan of insulted, the Shaman of Schotenfreude,
- 22:22Speaker 1: the sensitive Sniffer, jumping Jack of wisecrack inside of overnight Medicine,
- 22:27Speaker 1: Man Mallard, the Neighbo of negativity, the Sage of outrage,
- 22:32Speaker 1: the Pinnacle of cynegal princip preposterous I rotate nuts, the
- 22:37Speaker 1: Professor of propaganda, the hisz ar A look at.
- 22:41Speaker 3: The clock, the podcast is on the stover. Oh no,
- 22:43Speaker 3: we have endless time in podcasting.
- 22:45Speaker 1: The floating turd of the spoken word, and the mad
- 22:48Speaker 1: Hatter of sports chatter and that's not even all my nicknames, Danny.
- 22:53Speaker 1: That's only half my nicknames. I have other ones as well.
- 22:56Speaker 1: We can let Bill Miller know about this podcast and
- 22:59Speaker 1: then then Bill Mill will be good. Yes, they'll use
- 23:02Speaker 1: them now. No, thank you, Barry. Appreciate that. Kevin in
- 23:08Speaker 1: Kansas rites in and says you're Ben and Danny G.
- 23:13Speaker 3: Ben.
- 23:13Speaker 1: You recently mentioned having a camp like t Higgins if
- 23:17Speaker 1: you really had one, what would Camp Mallard and Camp
- 23:21Speaker 1: Danny G look like. Well, as you know, Kevin, I
- 23:24Speaker 1: was using the ancient art of sarcasm to mock and
- 23:29Speaker 1: lampoon the T Higgins camp. I always get a kick
- 23:34Speaker 1: out of this time of the year, we talk about
- 23:35Speaker 1: NFL free agency and teams are trying to upgrade, they're
- 23:39Speaker 1: trying to improve, players are trying to get paid, and
- 23:42Speaker 1: then you have some teams that stand pat but the
- 23:45Speaker 1: players stories that are leaked from someone in player x's camp.
- 23:50Speaker 1: And I always laugh at that, Like, you're an athlete,
- 23:54Speaker 1: you get to a point where you have a camp,
- 23:57Speaker 1: like a traveling band of merry men and women that
- 24:01Speaker 1: travel around with you. It just is so stupid. And
- 24:05Speaker 1: it was like I did this rant. I was like, well,
- 24:07Speaker 1: how do you become how do you become part of
- 24:09Speaker 1: a camp? What if you want to break up the camp?
- 24:11Speaker 1: What do you do with the camp? Where does the
- 24:13Speaker 1: camp go? You know that kind of thing. I did
- 24:15Speaker 1: that whole whole rant, which I still think is amusing.
- 24:18Speaker 1: But Camp Mallard would be like Camp Snoopy be a
- 24:21Speaker 1: lot of fun. There'd be some rides there, but they
- 24:23Speaker 1: wouldn't be scary rides and the weather would be pretty
- 24:26Speaker 1: good all the time, like something like that. What about
- 24:28Speaker 1: Camp Danny G, Danny what would that be?
- 24:30Speaker 3: Like?
- 24:32Speaker 1: I think you said Camp Snoopy.
- 24:33Speaker 3: You know there's also robberies there and our jackings.
- 24:39Speaker 1: I thought Magic Mountain was the one that was the
- 24:41Speaker 1: that's all.
- 24:42Speaker 3: That's another one. Remember they had to shut down the
- 24:44Speaker 3: concerts there.
- 24:46Speaker 1: Yeah, there's people going there, and they was like, let's
- 24:49Speaker 1: do some you know, do some whatever, and we'll do it.
- 24:52Speaker 1: It's bad stuff, and we'll go to Magic Mountain to
- 24:54Speaker 1: do it, because that's when you want bad stuff, you
- 24:56Speaker 1: go to where there's roller coasters. That's where you do
- 24:58Speaker 1: the bad stuff.
- 24:59Speaker 3: Yeah, damn, Danny G. I think I would recruit JaMarcus
- 25:03Speaker 3: Russell to host my camp. He would teach all the
- 25:07Speaker 3: kids how to make and drink purple drink. He'd be
- 25:13Speaker 3: the bar and then he teach them how to lounge
- 25:15Speaker 3: on the job.
- 25:17Speaker 1: Well, no one did it better. No one did it
- 25:20Speaker 1: better in his era than your guy, JaMarcus Russell. One
- 25:24Speaker 1: of the great Raiders of all time, and he was
- 25:27Speaker 1: a franchise changing player. He was so bad the team
- 25:30Speaker 1: left Oakland. If think about it, if JaMarcus Russell had
- 25:33Speaker 1: been good and lived up to the hype as a
- 25:35Speaker 1: number one overall pick, then at some point the Raiders
- 25:38Speaker 1: would have gotten the money they needed to build a
- 25:40Speaker 1: stadium and would still be the Oakland Raiders and would
- 25:43Speaker 1: not have left to go to to Vegas. Well they
- 25:47Speaker 1: left years later. You don't know that. Well, no, but
- 25:49Speaker 1: do the math, because they wanted a stadium even when
- 25:52Speaker 1: JaMarcus Russell was there. What was Russell was there probably
- 25:55Speaker 1: in the eight around that time. Yeah, so they.
- 26:00Speaker 3: You're saying that he could have been there, Barry Bonds,
- 26:02Speaker 3: they could have built a stadium on his back.
- 26:05Speaker 1: Well yeah, or in Seattle, remember the Mariners, there were
- 26:08Speaker 1: rumors they were going to leave in Ken Griffy Junior
- 26:10Speaker 1: and the Mariners they went on this playoff run in
- 26:13Speaker 1: the This goes back to the mid nineties, but they
- 26:15Speaker 1: got a new stadium. They've been playing the Kingdome and
- 26:18Speaker 1: they wanted something new and they got the money they
- 26:20Speaker 1: needed because of this playoff run with Ken Griffy Junior.
- 26:24Speaker 1: So I'm just saying, just pointing that out. Next up
- 26:27Speaker 1: on the mail bag is Hank in Tokyo. He says,
- 26:31Speaker 1: good speaking to you during the show somewhat recently, and
- 26:35Speaker 1: then he references a previous episode of the show and
- 26:39Speaker 1: he says, you did Big Ben's Big Board. Now not
- 26:42Speaker 1: a list. He said this on the podcast last week
- 26:44Speaker 1: and now of the top single episodes of TV viewing
- 26:47Speaker 1: audiences final episode of Mash being the top Dog probably
- 26:53Speaker 1: just a slip of the tongue with justin case. The
- 26:55Speaker 1: setting of Mash was the Korean police action, not the
- 27:00Speaker 1: Vietnam conflict or as you said, the Vietnam War. Yes, Hank, Danny,
- 27:06Speaker 1: Hank's in Tokyo. Is that guy? You know, that guy
- 27:10Speaker 1: that has to touch up your work, to touch up
- 27:12Speaker 1: your work guy, that's Hank. And then he sent another complaint.
- 27:17Speaker 1: He said, a couple months ago, you did a word
- 27:18Speaker 1: of the week with ostracize or a synonym. He said,
- 27:22Speaker 1: I don't undred percent remember, and then he was upset
- 27:27Speaker 1: that I did not mention Socrates. That I should have
- 27:34Speaker 1: mentioned an example of Socrates. It never came. And so,
- 27:39Speaker 1: Hank is.
- 27:39Speaker 3: Here's my advice for Hank. He should have an after
- 27:42Speaker 3: after show where he just touches up all your work.
- 27:46Speaker 1: That's a great idea, Hank. You could do your own podcast,
- 27:50Speaker 1: the bridge called the Bridge to Nowhere, and you can
- 27:53Speaker 1: do your podcast and just correct everything that I say,
- 27:56Speaker 1: just one after another.
- 27:58Speaker 3: Call it the Bill Miller Department of Corrections.
- 28:01Speaker 1: Yes, the Bill Miller Corrections Retractions Department. Absolutely, thank you,
- 28:08Speaker 1: Thank you. Hank Hanks the listener that my boss used
- 28:11Speaker 1: to tell me about years ago. He said, Ben, if
- 28:15Speaker 1: you want to know if people are listening, if you're
- 28:16Speaker 1: not getting a lot of feedback to something you're doing,
- 28:18Speaker 1: make an obvious error on the show and people will run.
- 28:24Speaker 3: Work in your case, just be yourself.
- 28:26Speaker 1: How dare you? People will run to contact you, and
- 28:30Speaker 1: you will find out just how many people are listening,
- 28:33Speaker 1: because there's nothing the consumer of audio content likes more
- 28:36Speaker 1: than correcting the blowhard on the radio. So if you're
- 28:41Speaker 1: not getting a lot of negative feedback or positive feedback,
- 28:43Speaker 1: and you want some, just make a small error and
- 28:47Speaker 1: all of a sudden you'll be amazed at what happens.
- 28:51Speaker 1: Mike in Wisconsin wrights and says, guys, I thought of
- 28:54Speaker 1: your show when I saw this story. You talk about
- 28:57Speaker 1: these kind of things quite a bit, and this is
- 28:59Speaker 1: another one to add to the show. And Mike sent
- 29:03Speaker 1: a story. I don't know if this came up on
- 29:05Speaker 1: Covino and Rich this year, A flaming hot or this week. Rather,
- 29:08Speaker 1: a flaming hot cheeto that looks like a character from
- 29:14Speaker 1: a very popular game series. The character Charizard will be
- 29:20Speaker 1: auctioned off for thousands of dollars. Yeah, a Pokemon looking
- 29:28Speaker 1: character and this thing's going to be auctioned off for big,
- 29:34Speaker 1: big money.
- 29:35Speaker 3: Exhitt. I mean we were in for Dan Patrick and
- 29:38Speaker 3: Colin Cowherd. We were doing hard oh sports all week.
- 29:42Speaker 3: You were a sporto, guys. I got you, unless we weren't.
- 29:45Speaker 1: The cheeto in question was pulled out of a bag
- 29:48Speaker 1: sometime between twenty eighteen and twenty twenty two, got a
- 29:51Speaker 1: lot of attention and became just known on the internet
- 29:55Speaker 1: and all that. The bidding opened up at two hundred
- 29:59Speaker 1: and fifty dollars, and the price was up to twenty
- 30:04Speaker 1: one hundred dollars more than a week to go. The
- 30:08Speaker 1: auction wraps up on March first. March first, so you
- 30:13Speaker 1: can you still have time to bid on this. So Danny,
- 30:17Speaker 1: if you want to get this as an investment for
- 30:20Speaker 1: your son, this is a great collectible.
- 30:24Speaker 3: It'd be great to make the final bid and then
- 30:26Speaker 3: just pop it in your mouth.
- 30:29Speaker 1: It's like that, didn't that happen with the banana guy?
- 30:33Speaker 1: I remember the banana nailed to the wall guy? Didn't
- 30:37Speaker 1: he eat the banana? The guy that bought the art
- 30:39Speaker 1: didn't he eat it or something? I think we talked
- 30:41Speaker 1: about that, right, remember that story.
- 30:42Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know if you need it.
- 30:45Speaker 1: I thought he did. I thought this guy had so.
- 30:47Speaker 3: Much money eat it.
- 30:48Speaker 1: Well, we need enough, Just not that I thought he did.
- 30:52Speaker 3: We've seen lots of jokes after that with people ripping
- 30:56Speaker 3: the banana off the wall and taking a bite of it.
- 30:59Speaker 1: Yeah. Free time do you have and how much money
- 31:01Speaker 1: do you have? Where you're like, you know what I
- 31:03Speaker 1: need to do? I need to not only do I
- 31:05Speaker 1: need this, I have to bid on it. Like what
- 31:08Speaker 1: is that we'll get out on this last one, Stan,
- 31:11Speaker 1: He says, I'm not the man, just a man and
- 31:15Speaker 1: a fan in Phoenix.
- 31:18Speaker 3: Thank you. Stan.
- 31:20Speaker 1: He says with the news out this week that President
- 31:22Speaker 1: Trump is going to discontinue the Penny, or at least
- 31:25Speaker 1: that's the plan and his claim. Now, Stan says that
- 31:31Speaker 1: this is a sign of the end times prophecy, and
- 31:35Speaker 1: then he wanted us to expand on that that. I
- 31:40Speaker 1: guess this is one of the preachers, one of the evangelists.
- 31:44Speaker 3: Oh man, your your TV bosses, Benny, your TV bosses
- 31:47Speaker 3: are hating this story. They're like, shit, we got to
- 31:50Speaker 3: rebrand everything, Benny versus the Nickel.
- 31:54Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no, no no. We've got it all
- 31:56Speaker 1: planned out. We actually talked about this on the TV
- 31:58Speaker 1: show Danny. It'll be Benny versus the Penny is going
- 32:03Speaker 1: to be we'll get rid of the penny and pennell
- 32:05Speaker 1: Me versus a pasta what and we'll be tossing the
- 32:09Speaker 1: pasta up in the air and depending on how much
- 32:11Speaker 1: of the pasta falls on which side, that's what we're
- 32:15Speaker 1: going to do. But yeah, this is this is great.
- 32:19Speaker 1: Anything to get money, right. I don't know who I
- 32:22Speaker 1: see the story that you sent me here, Stan, not the.
- 32:26Speaker 3: Man, just a man.
- 32:27Speaker 1: And yeah, I think I think we'll be okay. I
- 32:31Speaker 1: think we'll be all right. And I told the people
- 32:33Speaker 1: at NBC, I said, listen, Benny versus the penny is
- 32:36Speaker 1: more of a unique name. Now, it's good for the
- 32:39Speaker 1: brand if they get rid of the penny, because people say, oh,
- 32:42Speaker 1: I thought they got rid of the penny. No, they
- 32:44Speaker 1: didn't get rid of the penny. It's Benny versus the penny.
- 32:47Speaker 1: That's all you need right there, Benny versus the penny.
- 32:50Speaker 1: You're good to go. That's it. Boom boom boom boom
- 32:53Speaker 1: boom boo.
- 32:54Speaker 3: But then there'd be all these discontinued jokes though, have
- 32:57Speaker 3: land mines around your feet.
- 33:00Speaker 1: People are called the schmucks, is what those people are.
- 33:02Speaker 1: We'll get out of that. I will be back tonight
- 33:05Speaker 1: with a brand spanking new edition of The Overnight Show,
- 33:09Speaker 1: The Ben Malor Show. A new week of programming will
- 33:12Speaker 1: be here. We look forward to that. And Danny, what
- 33:15Speaker 1: do you have going on here? Anything you would like
- 33:17Speaker 1: to promote? Is it a regular week this week? Is
- 33:21Speaker 1: it something else? What do we got going on?
- 33:23Speaker 3: So we are filling in on the Ben Mallor Show,
- 33:26Speaker 3: and then we're filling in on the Doug Gottliep Show. Finally,
- 33:30Speaker 3: it's just going to be a regular week from five
- 33:33Speaker 3: to seven pm on the East Coast, and that is
- 33:36Speaker 3: two to four pm in beautiful Pismo Beach, California.
- 33:41Speaker 1: One of the great spots to visit, Pismo Beach. I
- 33:44Speaker 1: haven't been there in a little bit, not that long ago,
- 33:48Speaker 1: but I know the sun is starting to shine a
- 33:51Speaker 1: little bit here. We got to get back up to
- 33:53Speaker 1: the coast.
- 33:54Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 33:54Speaker 1: And by the way, the Ben Maler Show, if you're
- 33:56Speaker 1: listening in Honolulu nine o'clock at nine pm, the show
- 34:02Speaker 1: starts in Honolulu, and if you're in London, the show
- 34:06Speaker 1: starts and Terry's not in London. He's in England, but
- 34:09Speaker 1: not in London proper. The overnight show, for my math
- 34:12Speaker 1: is correct. It's a morning show in London, so it
- 34:18Speaker 1: starts it's eight London's eight hours ahead of la so yeah,
- 34:25Speaker 1: it's like seven in the morning or something like that.
- 34:26Speaker 1: My math is right.
- 34:27Speaker 3: You can put that on your resume that you do
- 34:29Speaker 3: morning drive and you wouldn't be lying.
- 34:32Speaker 1: Yeah, I do afternoon drive. Actually I do it middays
- 34:35Speaker 1: in China because Beijing is sixteen hours ahead. So I've
- 34:40Speaker 1: got that down in Sydney, Australia where Afternoon Drive in
- 34:44Speaker 1: Sydney were doing Afternoon Drive. Anyway, all right, have a
- 34:48Speaker 1: wonderful rest of your Sunday. Thank you for supporting the
- 34:51Speaker 1: Fifth Hour podcast. Don't forget. If you like the mail
- 34:53Speaker 1: bag and you think you have something you want to
- 34:55Speaker 1: send us for a future edition and you don't want
- 34:58Speaker 1: to rewind, go back to when I gave the address
- 35:01Speaker 1: at Real fifth hour at gmail dot com. And we'll
- 35:04Speaker 1: catch you on the podcast next weekend. But we'll both
- 35:07Speaker 1: be on the radio. I'll be on tonight, Danny tomorrow.
- 35:09Speaker 1: We'll see you there later.
- 35:11Speaker 3: Skater gotta murder. I gotta go