Latest / The Parenting Podcast / Keeping it Real - Moms Discuss Parenting Season #1 (The Hiking Guide) | Ep. 05

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Keeping it Real - Moms Discuss Parenting Season #1 (The Hiking Guide) | Ep. 05 · The Parenting Podcast

• 1:00
  Cheryl: I'm really excited because we've got moms in here again today and Ellen, they're going to help keep us very real because they're in the trenches of the first season of parenting.
• 1:11
  Cheryl: I'm looking forward to it.
• 1:13
  Ellen: Yes.
• 1:13
  Ellen: I agree.
• 1:14
  Cheryl: So let me introduce Maddie Ifland so glad to have you here, Maddie.
• 1:19
  Maddy: Thank you for having me I have one little girl.
• 1:23
  Maddy: I'm just a newbie here, but she's 16 months old.
• 1:26
  Maddy: She's already 16.
• 1:27
  Maddy: So I can't be that much of a newbie.
• 1:30
  Cheryl: And Candice Newport.
• 1:32
  Candace: I'm excited to be here with you guys.
• 1:34
  Candace: I have three daughters, three girls Eleanor who's three soon to be four.
• 1:39
  Candace: Emma who's two and then Claire, who is just turned five.
• 1:43
  Candace: months old
• 1:45
  Ellen: Maddie, when you were growing up in the way your parents raised you and everything?
• 1:49
  Ellen: Do you feel like that prepared you for becoming a parent?
• 1:54
  Maddy: Yes.
• 1:55
  Maddy: It's in a different way than I am parenting now.
• 1:59
  Maddy: But I, I learned a lot about specifically, like from my dad, man, I just learned to look at the world, and see everything with new eyes and see everything is beautiful.
• 2:14
  Maddy: When I think of my mom, I think of strengths her teaching me to you know, not give up, yeah.
• 2:20
  Maddy: Both of my parents taught me just to.
• 2:22
  Maddy: To work hard.
• 2:23
  Maddy: Be resilient.
• 2:24
  Maddy: Which I'm thankful for.
• 2:26
  Maddy: I think that totally made me who I am today,
• 2:28
  Ellen: Candice We're glad to have you on, I'm gonna ask you the same question.
• 2:32
  Ellen: How do you think your childhood and your early years did you feel prepared to be a parent?
• 2:38
  Candace: No.
• 2:38
  Candace: I know.
• 2:39
  Candace: I always wanted to from as young as I can remember.
• 2:42
  Candace: I mean, I just looked forward to being a mom.
• 2:44
  Candace: I feel my parents did a great job at taking care of us.
• 2:48
  Candace: I mean, we always had a warm house, you know, food on the table, what we needed.
• 2:55
  Candace: But then you, you have this baby just kind of like, you have nine months to prepare, but you're not thinking about the day-to-day and I wasn't around a lot of little babies.
• 3:05
  Candace: Young kids, so I didn't really know.
• 3:08
  Ellen: Kind of what to expect.
• 3:09
  Candace: What to expect, Yeah.
• 3:10
  Candace: And then, you're just thrown into a life I didn't really know
• 3:14
  Cheryl (2): I think
• 3:15
  Cheryl: if we asked this question to even child development experts, when they have their first baby, they would say, all of that Did not prepare me for this.
• 3:24
  Ellen: Maddie, what did you find was a surprise with a new baby?
• 3:28
  Maddy: Oh time.
• 3:29
  Ellen: That's good.
• 3:30
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 3:30
  Maddy: Yeah.
• 3:30
  Maddy: It's a whole new, it's a sacrifice like sacrificing time.
• 3:34
  Maddy: That was the hardest thing for me.
• 3:36
  Maddy: Yeah, it still is.
• 3:37
  Maddy: But it was really hard the first six months.
• 3:39
  Ellen: Yeah, because it is, you don't realize, you think you're going to have this cute little baby and they go to bed and sleep and all of a sudden you're in the middle of doing something.
• 3:47
  Ellen: You have to drop everything and yeah, I remember that too.
• 3:52
  Ellen: And then Candice, how about you?
• 3:54
  Ellen: What was the big surprise for you
• 3:56
  Candace: I feel like I constantly am surprised.
• 3:58
  Candace: So, this lack of sleep.
• 4:00
  Candace: I mean, I feel like I was older comparatively to my friends.
• 4:03
  Candace: Going into motherhood.
• 4:04
  Candace: So I was 33 when I had my first.
• 4:07
  Candace: And this is a game for 20 year olds, man.
• 4:12
  Candace: I mean, my husband's now 45 and then 37.
• 4:15
  Candace: And we just had, you know, our youngest, Claire and.
• 4:17
  Candace: The sleepless nights are just exhausting you don't feel prepared for the day ahead.
• 4:23
  Candace: Yes.
• 4:24
  Candace: Yes.
• 4:25
  Cheryl: Well, I think the shock for all of us is how different parenting is.
• 4:31
  Cheryl: Even when you have like a really good background, like you did Maddie.
• 4:34
  Cheryl: The shock for me, I had little sisters and I was the helpful big sister and.
• 4:41
  Cheryl: Tough taking care of them.
• 4:42
  Cheryl: And then I did lots of babysitting and I even took child development classes as electives in college.
• 4:48
  Cheryl: So my heart was there, but it was radically different when I had Rebecca, it was just a new world and all of the things, and the problem is, oh, I got bogged down in all the stuff.
• 5:01
  Cheryl: Like, do I do this?
• 5:03
  Cheryl: Do I do that?
• 5:04
  Cheryl: I mean, just starting with your pregnancy and your delivery and then whether you're going to nurse or bottled or how much or schedules
• 5:11
  Candace: or the steps,
• 5:12
  Cheryl: all the steps and thinking these are so important.
• 5:16
  Cheryl: You all struggle with all that?
• 5:17
  Maddy: Yeah.
• 5:17
  Maddy: Yes, for sure.
• 5:18
  Candace: There's so there's so much knowledge at your fingertips.
• 5:20
  Candace: There's I mean, you can.
• 5:22
  Candace: Ask anybody, you can Google anything you can ask Siri or Alexa or whatever, you know?
• 5:27
  Candace: I mean, everything is right there and you think you have to do all those things to be who you're supposed to be.
• 5:33
  Cheryl (2): And isn't it interesting, Ellen because we thought we didn't have much information.
• 5:38
  Cheryl (2): But they have almost everything possible and it's the same struggle.
• 5:43
  Cheryl (2): There's no difference.
• 5:45
  Cheryl (2): Because you begin to think it's all the stuff like right now, my macbook is across the street and I'm hoping they're going to be able to revive it and bring it back.
• 5:55
  Cheryl (2): So it's a thing and I do things to it and they're processing and fixing with a goal because it's a thing.
• 6:05
  Cheryl (2): Parenting is not this at all.
• 6:07
  Cheryl (2): What, if we change the definition to be parenting's not what you do, but it's just a
• 6:12
  Cheryl: relationship
• 6:14
  Cheryl (2): With these children.
• 6:14
  Cheryl (2): And then if you have more children, it's the whole interaction like marriage.
• 6:18
  Ellen: Yeah, it really is like marriage because marriage is the box.
• 6:22
  Ellen: It goes in, but it's the relationship goes in the box or the umbrella of marriage.
• 6:27
  Ellen: The same with parenting.
• 6:28
  Ellen: Parenting.
• 6:29
  Ellen: is the umbrella and underneath that is our relationship with each of her children.
• 6:34
  Ellen: And if you put in marriage a ton of rules and regulations and things like that, you can't really have a relationship.
• 6:40
  Ellen: And I'm not saying you don't have rules for your children, but you want to cultivate that interpersonal one-on-one trust.
• 6:50
  Ellen: And really you're developing a friendship.
• 6:53
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 6:53
  Cheryl: So let me ask you all, because you're in the midst of the younger ones, and sometimes I here from moms and they say, oh, so in this season, do all the stuff.
• 7:03
  Cheryl: Then we get the relationship.
• 7:05
  Cheryl: What are your first thoughts when we say, parenting as a relationship, and you started looking through that filter.
• 7:13
  Cheryl: And approaching it that way.
• 7:15
  Cheryl: Would that affect how you think or what you do, Maddie?
• 7:17
  Maddy: Yes, for sure.
• 7:19
  Maddy: you know, when, before you're a parent, I feel like I was looking at it as the things I still do as the things that I need to be doing for her.
• 7:29
  Maddy: Like, is it time for me to start giving her crafts?
• 7:33
  Maddy: Like, is she old enough?
• 7:34
  Maddy: Am I too late on the game for that?
• 7:37
  Maddy: Realizing that.
• 7:38
  Maddy: Yeah.
• 7:39
  Maddy: I don't know.
• 7:39
  Maddy: I struggle with that every day.
• 7:40
  Maddy: Just thinking, am I doing enough for her?
• 7:44
  Cheryl: OkayI.
• 7:44
  Cheryl: So let me ask you this.
• 7:45
  Cheryl: Let's take that one thing.
• 7:46
  Cheryl: What if you took your filter off, you have right now and put on the filter of, this is a relationship with Imagene.
• 7:53
  Cheryl: Tell me how you would come back this afternoon.
• 7:56
  Cheryl: When you go home to her, would that affect what you do?
• 7:59
  Maddy: The first thing that pops into my head is joy.
• 8:02
  Maddy: I feel like if I look at her as like, just wanting to be with her and have a relationship with her, it makes parenting more of a joy.
• 8:12
  Maddy: Yeah, that makes me excited.
• 8:14
  Maddy: It makes me not bogged down with thinking like, am I doing enough for her?
• 8:18
  Maddy: But yeah, just loving her.
• 8:20
  Maddy: Well,
• 8:20
  Cheryl (2): I think in marriage, the same thing, there are trappings and things and wise things to do.
• 8:26
  Cheryl (2): But if we can move those out of the way and work on the relationship or like an Ellen and my friendship there are things we do in our friendship, but it's the focus on the relationship that matters and the grace that we give each other and the more we know each other, the more we enjoy each other and we want to love, well,
• 8:49
  Candace: Yeah.
• 8:49
  Candace: Yeah, I think that's one of my biggest struggles right now is my, between my oldest and my middle child.
• 8:56
  Candace: They are extremely different.
• 8:58
  Candace: My oldest is very much like me.
• 8:59
  Candace: And so it's easy for me to see where she's going with her struggles I have no idea I ask my husband every day.
• 9:08
  Candace: Like how, what?
• 9:10
  Candace: I don't know where to go.
• 9:11
  Candace: I don't know how to approach her.
• 9:13
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 9:13
  Ellen: I know I can relate because we had five children and there were a couple that I always had to go to my husband.
• 9:19
  Ellen: Cause they were more like him.
• 9:20
  Ellen: I'm like she said this, but I don't understand what she was trying to tell me.
• 9:24
  Ellen: I hurt her feelings and I don't know.
• 9:27
  Ellen: What I did, then he would explain, oh, this is how it sounded to her.
• 9:32
  Ellen: Oh, okay.
• 9:33
  Ellen: That makes sense.
• 9:34
  Ellen: So it's just challenging.
• 9:37
  Candace: I think putting that perspective on parenting makes it just makes you feel like you can see it from a, maybe like an outer, like a person looking at it.
• 9:48
  Candace: That Just gives you a different way to see your kids.
• 9:51
  Candace: Like I want to see them as individuals, right?
• 9:53
  Candace: I want to see them like, who is Eleanor?
• 9:56
  Candace: Who is Emma?
• 9:57
  Candace: They're very different.
• 9:58
  Candace: And how do I.
• 10:00
  Candace: How do I meet them on those different levels?
• 10:02
  Candace: It makes me think about that stuff rather than just like, I want you to be a behaved individual.
• 10:07
  Candace: And these are the things to do that.
• 10:09
  Candace: Like all of a sudden I'm like, okay, well, what are your interests?
• 10:12
  Candace: Right?
• 10:13
  Candace: Who are you?
• 10:13
  Candace: What do you like, why are you different than her?
• 10:15
  Candace: And let's, let's look at Emma that same way, you know, being able to teach them.
• 10:19
  Candace: Together about each other, like us all learning on the same page, elbows,
• 10:24
  Ellen: yeah.
• 10:24
  Ellen: Like misbehaving, because if we're not saying don't discipline your children, but we get to learn about our children.
• 10:32
  Ellen: Why does this child misbehave in this situation, then the other child that doesn't bother.
• 10:37
  Ellen: So that's still that learning about our children.
• 10:40
  Ellen: They're learning about.
• 10:41
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 10:42
  Ellen: They're new to everything.
• 10:43
  Ellen: They don't know how to behave.
• 10:45
  Candace: Yeah.
• 10:45
  Candace: The discipline is different for each of the, I mean, what worked for Eleanor absolutely does not work for Emma and it takes even talking to other moms.
• 10:54
  Candace: Like I realized I was trying to figure it out all on my own.
• 10:57
  Candace: Like, okay, well, I, you know, I'm her mom.
• 10:59
  Candace: I should know.
• 11:00
  Candace: What she needs well, and I'm, I'm struggling over here, Ryan doesn't know.
• 11:04
  Candace: And then I start talking and telling, and everybody's giving me this or that.
• 11:08
  Candace: And, and then all of a sudden, my sister-in-law says.
• 11:12
  Candace: Put her in a different area for a timeout and maybe make her go to bed early if she likes staying up late.
• 11:17
  Candace: And I mean, it was like night and day difference.
• 11:20
  Candace: It's like all of a sudden I'm speaking to Emma on a level.
• 11:23
  Candace: That's her, rather than over here where eleanor is.
• 11:27
  Cheryl: that's fantastic.
• 11:28
  Cheryl: Bill and I, were both compliants
• 11:30
  Cheryl (2): So we expected that children would be the same mindset.
• 11:35
  Cheryl (2): Right.
• 11:35
  Cheryl (2): And then when we.
• 11:36
  Cheryl (2): had a Determined rather than compliant.
• 11:39
  Cheryl (2): We just didn't know what to expect.
• 11:41
  Cheryl (2): It was a shock to us.
• 11:43
  Cheryl (2): And so we had to learn to adjust with that.
• 11:47
  Cheryl (2): I wish I'd have become a student of that, but it just took me years to even understand first that what we were dealing with and then just missed it, you know, but I want to give you all the freedom to know you can miss it.
• 12:04
  Cheryl (2): But when you love your children and you have this relationship, we blow relationships all the time, but we come back with love.
• 12:11
  Cheryl (2): Sarah.
• 12:12
  Cheryl (2): maintain the relationship.
• 12:14
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 12:14
  Ellen: And our relationship is always growing and moving.
• 12:17
  Ellen: It's kind of a living thing.
• 12:19
  Ellen: And so, you know, it's not, it's not like one time you do something wrong and that's forever.
• 12:26
  Ellen: You have times of doing right things and not getting it right.
• 12:29
  Ellen: Misunderstandings, understanding it's a culmination.
• 12:33
  Ellen: Over a lifespan with that individual, whether it's your husband or your child, it's that culmination.
• 12:40
  Ellen: And there's no finished product because your relationship with your children will go on and on.
• 12:46
  Ellen: I mean, my son's in his mid forties and I have a good relationship with him.
• 12:51
  Ellen: So, you know, it doesn't stop because they leave your home.
• 12:55
  Ellen: In fact, it's even better to have adult children have relationships with them.
• 12:59
  Cheryl: See what joy that brings into it.
• 13:01
  Cheryl: Look at the grace.
• 13:02
  Cheryl: It brings that I don't have to get it Right How can you get a relationship?
• 13:06
  Cheryl: Right?
• 13:07
  Cheryl: Right.
• 13:07
  Cheryl: Particularly for relationships or fluid and living, and you have to adapt, but we keep in mind, how am I loving this person best not for what I want, but what's best for them.
• 13:22
  Cheryl: You know, and they have value and worth.
• 13:26
  Cheryl: Let me sacrifice in a healthy way to love them better
• 13:30
  Ellen: and you have to be spending time.
• 13:32
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 13:33
  Ellen: You know, intimate time with that child to know what's best for them.
• 13:38
  Ellen: Cause it's easy just to have a, especially if you have a couple of kids to just have a blanket, this is good for everybody.
• 13:43
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 13:43
  Ellen: And mostly cause it was good for me, but right.
• 13:48
  Ellen: Or this is the easiest way to go rather than listening to each child.
• 13:52
  Ellen: And sometimes you do have to just go with the crowd and, you know, but if you're laying the foundation to making your child feel loved, And were something then the times where you just have to kind of hurry through are forgotten.
• 14:06
  Candace: Yeah.
• 14:07
  Candace: I think, okay, well I did everything this way with Eleanor, so I always worry about that everything should work with this way.
• 14:12
  Candace: And that's what I've wanted to do.
• 14:14
  Candace: I'm trying to put her in this cookie cutter, you know, like, okay, this is how your sister did and behaved and changed and learned.
• 14:19
  Candace: And so why is this not working for you?
• 14:21
  Candace: And it takes my humility, right?
• 14:24
  Candace: Like I have to be like, okay, I can't just force her to be somebody that she's not, she was created differently than her sister.
• 14:32
  Candace: And so, and like that, and that's going to be going into my youngest.
• 14:35
  Candace: Right.
• 14:35
  Candace: They're all going to be needing a different direction and a different kind of just cultivating a relationship in the way.
• 14:44
  Candace: Like you would like you guys were talking about with your friendship.
• 14:47
  Candace: Like it just, you don't treat every friend the same way.
• 14:51
  Candace: You don't do the same stuff.
• 14:52
  Candace: You have different friends for different things.
• 14:54
  Candace: And I feel like that just all these terms we're talking about just helps me to see them differently.
• 15:01
  Candace: They're not like just my family unit Each one is their own individual
• 15:05
  Ellen: We all want to be seen Yeah, and we all want to be respected.
• 15:08
  Ellen: We all want to be loved.
• 15:09
  Maddy: I work full-time as a photographer.
• 15:12
  Maddy: I work most of the time at home.
• 15:14
  Maddy: So imaging is with me all the time.
• 15:17
  Maddy: So I think my biggest question is like, how do I know that I'm giving her enough things to do.
• 15:26
  Maddy: how do I know when I'm being.
• 15:29
  Maddy: Enough for her loving her enough giving her enough of myself?
• 15:34
  Ellen: Well, I think that's a really good question.
• 15:37
  Ellen: And I think a lot of times, and this is a little practical side note, but I think as moms, especially first-time moms, make sure you have kind of a child development book or some resource on the internet.
• 15:48
  Ellen: And that's just like a little practical stuff.
• 15:51
  Ellen: Everything.
• 15:52
  Ellen: But I know for me, that was a lot of times I didn't realize that it, that at this age, they didn't need all these other 10 things.
• 16:00
  Ellen: This is what they needed at this age.
• 16:02
  Ellen: So that'll help you to kind of have a real grasp, especially if you haven't been around kids before and things, you know, it's, it's hard for all of us to know what your one-year-old needs.
• 16:12
  Ellen: So I think that's just kind of a practical part.
• 16:15
  Ellen: And then remember.
• 16:17
  Ellen: They want relationship, just like that's the basic human need for all of us, a little child, you can fill a room with toys and take a million places but they want you to be with them.
• 16:29
  Ellen: And when you're in the room with them be present, it's not how much time, but it's being present, listening to them, learning who they are.
• 16:37
  Maddy: Yeah, that's good.
• 16:38
  Cheryl: I think.
• 16:39
  Cheryl: All the doing steals, the joy I want to enjoy my children.
• 16:46
  Cheryl: I want to enjoy like, you know, marriage, whatever we're doing, if we get bogged down and we have to do the stuff, but again, that's not for the joy is
• 16:57
  Ellen: we have to save room for emotional energy.
• 17:00
  Ellen: We have to, cultivate emotional energy because that's what relationships take, you know, the cleaning of the house, the doing of the things it's physical, but we want to have emotional energy for our loved ones.
• 17:12
  Cheryl: I think it's the emotional bandwidth.
• 17:15
  Cheryl: We're just limited in how much emotion we can do.
• 17:20
  Cheryl: Well last time when we got into this, our last episode, Ellen and I were talking about some of the things.
• 17:26
  Cheryl: About this particular season, we were saying when psychologists really study it, they say A mom that helps her children to flourish in life as a person is a responsive mom rather than a reactive one.
• 17:42
  Maddy: Yeah.
• 17:42
  Maddy: What does that mean?
• 17:43
  Maddy: Exactly?
• 17:44
  Maddy: What are the differences in those two words
• 17:46
  Cheryl: Sure.
• 17:46
  Cheryl: Maddie, because it's such a wonderful concept And so we do want to grasp it.
• 17:52
  Cheryl: I think when we really boil down how they describe what responsive parenting is.
• 17:57
  Cheryl: So it would be either father or mother is that it's warm emotional availability.
• 18:03
  Cheryl: And the second part of it would be that you accept the individual child.
• 18:09
  Cheryl: For there value,
• 18:10
  Cheryl (2): but the reality of life makes those difficult it's an amazing thing.
• 18:16
  Cheryl (2): What do y'all think about that?
• 18:17
  Candace: It's messy.
• 18:18
  Candace: It doesn't probably look the same.
• 18:20
  Ellen: For each child.
• 18:22
  Candace: Gives you a different perspective of how you look at parenting, you know, it's no longer a task or a list of boxes to check, but it opens up that interrelationship, right.
• 18:36
  Candace: With your child.
• 18:38
  Candace: before you, yeah, I feel like, you know, we've talked about these picture things, right?
• 18:43
  Candace: Like how to see our parenting in a different light.
• 18:46
  Candace: And my husband and I were having a conversation about that stuff the other day.
• 18:50
  Candace: And he, you know, we went into the day yesterday and at the end of the day, he said today was really enjoyable.
• 18:58
  Candace: And I just looked at him and I was like, what, what was different about today?
• 19:02
  Candace: And he said, I saw my kids differently.
• 19:05
  Candace: I was able to be grounded.
• 19:08
  Candace: He that's the term.
• 19:09
  Candace: He is that I was grounded.
• 19:11
  Candace: And so when I approached them, I was able to see them.
• 19:14
  Candace: Differently.
• 19:15
  Candace: And it was the same, it was the same kind of stuff.
• 19:17
  Candace: Right.
• 19:18
  Candace: We had fights all day.
• 19:19
  Candace: We had manner issues.
• 19:21
  Candace: Well, not sharing.
• 19:23
  Candace: But that's a word we don't care a lot around the house that she was enjoyable.
• 19:28
  Cheryl: What encouragement.
• 19:30
  Cheryl: For everybody.
• 19:31
  Cheryl: Does that filter shift anything from you, Maddie?
• 19:35
  Cheryl: Yeah,
• 19:35
  Maddy: that's huge.
• 19:36
  Maddy: It's just the reminder that they are a little, a little person that they're not just this this thing that's walking around the house that you need to make sure it's not eating things and is not yeah.
• 19:49
  Maddy: Doing things they aren't supposed to do or grabbing decorations off of the shelf, but that they are.
• 19:56
  Maddy: These bright little children who, you know, look at the world with these fresh eyes and want to know, they just want to know more.
• 20:05
  Maddy: So yeah, looking at them in that way is huge.
• 20:10
  Maddy: It's so different.
• 20:11
  Maddy: It changes your perspective so much.
• 20:14
  Candace: Just in engaged and understanding who they are, right.
• 20:18
  Candace: Maybe asking questions to them, figuring out what's going on in their mind.
• 20:22
  Candace: They're throwing a fit tantrum on the floor.
• 20:25
  Candace: My immediate response wants to be, to just get off the floor and stop acting like a fool, you know?
• 20:30
  Candace: But maybe like understanding, looking at the bigger picture what's going on in their world.
• 20:34
  Candace: Why are they feeling maybe the way they're feeling and what, when do I throw a fit?
• 20:38
  Candace: Like.
• 20:39
  Candace: Right.
• 20:39
  Candace: I mean, cause I do the same thing, but I'm an adult and I've learned to reel it in, take my moments, think about how I want to respond.
• 20:45
  Candace: Well, she doesn't have that privilege at this time.
• 20:49
  Candace: So just trying to understand their world in a way that they're seeing it.
• 20:53
  Ellen: Well, what does present look like to you when somebody says, are you being present with your child?
• 20:57
  Maddy: Yeah, I, I see the looking at them with their individual value and I think the way I grew up, man, I, I truly thought that the way I was thinking, the way I did things was a hundred percent the best way.
• 21:12
  Maddy: As I've gotten older and gotten to see my husband and, you know, I've seen that everyone is so different.
• 21:20
  Maddy: She could be thinking of something different than I am.
• 21:23
  Maddy: And why looking at that, realizing that and saying, okay, how is she?
• 21:28
  Maddy: And asking her those things, like, how are you thinking about this?
• 21:32
  Maddy: And just being.
• 21:34
  Maddy: Aware of that, that she is different than me
• 21:37
  Cheryl (2): wish we could sit here and talk for four more hours because this is delightful.
• 21:41
  Cheryl: we're really running out of time.
• 21:42
  Cheryl (2): we've talked about big ideas and then the struggle But
• 21:46
  Cheryl: if we asked this question
• 21:47
  Cheryl (2): When I'm thinking about this tomorrow, here's how I can be a different mom.
• 21:51
  Cheryl (2): So maybe this is one step I can take One step at a time towards this.
• 21:57
  Candace: Yeah.
• 21:57
  Candace: Yeah
• 21:58
  Cheryl: thank you so much for coming in today.
• 22:01
  Cheryl (2): I've enjoyed this.
• 22:02
  Ellen: Yes.
• 22:02
  Ellen: I agree.
• 22:03
  Candace: Thanks for having us on the show.
• 22:04
  Cheryl: So until next time moms remember, hang in there, keep loving, keep persevering because it's worth it.
• 22:14
  Ellen: Yes, it is.