Latest / The World of Phil Hendrie / Episode #3857 The New Phil Hendrie Show Radio Archive Hour

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Episode #3857 The New Phil Hendrie Show Radio Archive Hour · The World of Phil Hendrie

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Yes, Hello, this is Margaret Gray, and I advise you
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: to get a world famous Phil Henry Show backstage pass.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: It's very funny, but I seem to have forgotten those
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: days when I was the butt of the joke. And
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: mister Henry has seen Yes, I'm calling you, mister philp
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: hold on, and mister Henry has seen fit to make
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: me Margaret.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: Gray the butt of today's joke.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: When apparently he wants to bring up the time bandit
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: Jason Jay's pet beagle ran into the room.
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: While I was in the middle of a meeting with
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: one of my soiled tampons. We get a backstage Hi,
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: it's Phil Henry. I'm over here at Margaret and Frank's house.
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: I was having a nice cup of coffee.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: But get a backstage pass to the world famous Phil
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: Henry Show. It is worth it. You get thousands of
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: hours of Phil's great radio show, the archive radio show
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: that we are featuring now on the webs on the
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: podcast as well as on the website. And also you
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: can get thousands of hours of films, video casts, home movies,
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: and much much more. I'm Margaret Gray, I'm the butt
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: up today's joke. But that's what I said, But.
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: You want to do something I don't. The world famous
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: Phil Henry Show the greatest value online other than porn.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: Well you look at it.
• 1:18
  Speaker 4: Today's Radio Archive Hour features Margaret Gray as a guest.
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: Usually Margaret is on our panel these days as part
• 1:25
  Speaker 4: of what we call the Phil's Skit Show, but there
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: was a time when she was a guest and she
• 1:29
  Speaker 4: would come on with some kind of a problem. In
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: this particular one, it's Margaret and a dog named Bandit.
• 1:37
  Speaker 5: Jason J.
• 1:37
  Speaker 4: Delmonico, her son who's a child actor. He has a
• 1:40
  Speaker 4: dog name Bandit, a little beagle, and this beagle came
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: running into a room full of publishers and agents that
• 1:45
  Speaker 4: she was having a meeting with, with one of her
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: soiled tampons in its mouth, and Margaret hit the animal.
• 1:53
  Speaker 5: With a shovel.
• 1:54
  Speaker 4: It's difficult to imagine how we found humor in animal
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: being abused, but somehow, well, you know, we call her
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: out as being kind of a dirt bag, and I don't.
• 2:04
  Speaker 4: I think Bandit in the end does.
• 2:07
  Speaker 5: Very very well.
• 2:07
  Speaker 4: But let's listen now, Margaret Gray. This is from the
• 2:11
  Speaker 4: year two thousand. I think one of the early Margaret
• 2:13
  Speaker 4: Gray appearances and the story of her and Bandit in
• 2:16
  Speaker 4: the tampon Marga.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: Are you there, yes, Philim right here. I don't know
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: who you were speaking with, but I was talking all
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: this time. I don't know if you could hear mate.
• 2:23
  Speaker 5: No, we had a cross signal there with our past guest. You.
• 2:26
  Speaker 5: Your son is losing his dog, right, we.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: Are going to give it a bendit. Yes, Bandit is
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: Jason Jay's pet beagle. He is absolutely devastated. I don't
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: know how many parents are listening right now, but whenever
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: you have to take a pet from a child, phil
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: it just breaks your heart. But we had no choice
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: and we're going to take him over to the vent.
• 2:50
  Speaker 5: But I just to tell me how this started.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: Well, it started on Sunday, and it's really difficult for
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: me to go through. I will tell you that I
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: had some guests over. We had some friends over. Dell
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: Parker was over the book publisher.
• 3:07
  Speaker 5: Because I know you're working on your book right I'm.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: Working on the book. We also had some story editors.
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: It's a very difficult story to tell from a couple
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: of standpoints, but maybe the women in your audience can
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: relate to this. I'm going to do a column on this.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: It's about a mother, a little boy and his pet,
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: and it really starts Phil with the fact and oh
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: my god, I have to sit down.
• 3:34
  Speaker 5: Go ahead, I know that you're traumatized.
• 3:36
  Speaker 6: Margaret Gray is whether she's a writer, her son Jason
• 3:39
  Speaker 6: Jay's pet beagle. The family is going to have to
• 3:41
  Speaker 6: get rid of the dog.
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: Go ahead, Phil, I have monthly, a rather heavy menstrual cycle,
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: and it necessitates that I change my protection almost hourly.
• 4:02
  Speaker 5: I understand.
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  Speaker 2: I'm in the living room with the publisher Dell Parker
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: and some of his story editors were going over galleys
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: for the new book. Suddenly down the hall comes Bandit,
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: and in his mouth is one of my soiled sanitary napkins.
• 4:24
  Speaker 5: That you had left wear in a waste paper basket,
• 4:26
  Speaker 5: that I had left in a.
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: Waste paper basket. And you know something, you act on instinct.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: The humiliation is so overwhelming you don't know what to do.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: You're almost stunned that you are so humiliated, and that
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: a dog, not a human being, but a dog could
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: visit upon you such absolute humiliation that you act on instinct.
• 4:51
  Speaker 5: Now Here is where the story you have to pick
• 4:53
  Speaker 5: it up. You did what.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: Then I acted on instinct, Phil. I went to our fireplace,
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: I picked up one of the fireplace shovels, and I
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: struck the animal, I believe four to five times. And
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: that's that's all I can tell you. I'm obviously I
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: feel bad for for my career because the book was
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: was going to be coming out this spring. Dell Parker
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: was stunned.
• 5:22
  Speaker 5: He was, well, what stunned him? I mean two things
• 5:25
  Speaker 5: happened here.
• 5:26
  Speaker 6: The dog came out of the bathroom with one of
• 5:28
  Speaker 6: your soiled napkins in his mouth, and then.
• 5:31
  Speaker 5: You hit it with the end.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: No, what stunned him was the Phil. What I did
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: was I think, understandable? What what? What I'm trying to
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: say to you is this is pushed back the published
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: date for my book. Dell was stunned that he saw
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: such a thing.
• 5:46
  Speaker 5: Well, what what? Okay? So the dog came out of
• 5:48
  Speaker 5: the bathroom.
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: Do you understand what it is I'm saying to you?
• 5:52
  Speaker 5: No, I understand how humiliating and embarrassing it was.
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: Yes, So Dell stood up because into the room comes
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: a dog with something bloody in its mouth. And I
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: remember Dell standing up and going, oh my sweet Christ,
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: and we were all shocked. And then I recognized. I said,
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: oh my god, and I did the only thing I
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: could do, and that was go to the fireplace and
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: get the fireplace shovel, and then you beat the animal,
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: I remembered. And unfortunately I played golf and I went
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: into an instinctive golf swing.
• 6:30
  Speaker 6: I just you took a fireplace shovel and with a
• 6:35
  Speaker 6: golf swing hit your dog.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: Yes, I did, Phil, And I know that Jason is
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: going to be very He's going to feel bad. But
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: I told him, don't you understand what happened to mommy?
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: Bandit embarrassed mommy. He went into the bathroom and got
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: one of mommy's private things and pulled it out of
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: the waste paper basket and carried it into the living room.
• 6:58
  Speaker 5: Well, isn't a dog going?
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: I mean, I teed up on that dog's ass, and
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: if I could have, I would have drove n forty
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: four hundred yards. I was that upset.
• 7:11
  Speaker 5: But I told him you hit his dog and the
• 7:15
  Speaker 5: dog is injured.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: Right The dog's at the vet right now.
• 7:17
  Speaker 5: Yes, I'm stunned.
• 7:22
  Speaker 6: I'm stunned from a couple of things that the dog
• 7:24
  Speaker 6: would come in and I'm embarrassed for you, but also.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: Margaret, No, Phil, Phil, there's a difference here. And I
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: want you to be clear.
• 7:31
  Speaker 5: But Margaret, you hit an animal with a fireplace shovel.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: I want you to be clear. Let's not turn this around.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: Let's focus on what's important. I'm a human being. That's
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: a dog. I'm more important that Isn't I have a
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: book deal with Johnson Books. The last time I checked,
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: our dog didn't have a book deal.
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  Speaker 5: You hit an innocent dog.
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  Speaker 2: I hit an animal that had gone into a waste
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: paper basket and pulled out one of my feminine napkins
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  Speaker 2: and had it in its mouth.
• 8:07
  Speaker 5: Won't dogs do that?
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: Dogs will do what dogs will do, but they don't
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: embarrass you. I don't know what dogs will do. I
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: had dogs my entire life. They never went into the
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: waste paper basket and pulled out a soiled tampon and
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: dragged it into the living room for all the world
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  Speaker 2: to see, as if it's some kind of a big joke.
• 8:27
  Speaker 6: And well, but the dogs don't know what a joke is.
• 8:29
  Speaker 6: They don't know that they're that they're embarrassing you. They're
• 8:32
  Speaker 6: just they're they're playing with it.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: Right, Well, he played with the wrong marine. As the
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: saying goes in in for a few good men, you're
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: effing with the wrong marine. And I was very, very upset,
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: and excuse my language, because will.
• 8:45
  Speaker 5: You you do sound really upset that I.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: Am upset, especially that you would suddenly say, well, the dog,
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: the dog, the dog that what about me? What about
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: the fact that they're in front of the most prominent
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: publishers in New York. I'm setting down on paper what
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: can be a very important book and a dog walks
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: in with one of my tampons in its mouth. Well, yes,
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  Speaker 2: it's embarrassing.
• 9:12
  Speaker 5: Yes it is.
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: I don't mean to yell hilm.
• 9:17
  Speaker 6: No, I know, I know it was embarrassing. Margaret Gray
• 9:19
  Speaker 6: is on the line. They have a pet beagle at
• 9:22
  Speaker 6: their home. Apparently the beagle went into the waste paper
• 9:24
  Speaker 6: basket and got out one of your tampons.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: No, it was a Kotex.
• 9:32
  Speaker 6: Okay, but it had been used, right, yes it had.
• 9:35
  Speaker 6: It pulled it out of the waste paper basket, and
• 9:37
  Speaker 6: you struck the animal. Now, don't I honestly don't want
• 9:40
  Speaker 6: to keep harping on this.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: Okay, So I though it was hurting Jason J. Delmonico.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: When I was hitting the animal, the only thing that
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: made me stop was I heard Jason's voice saying, Mommy, please, no, no, Mommy,
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: stop hitting bandit.
• 9:56
  Speaker 5: Were you out of control?
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: Would you be out of control if a beagle win it?
• 10:02
  Speaker 7: No?
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: But I'm asking you, But let me ask you. If
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: a beagle went into a waste paper basket and in
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: front of some of your dearest friends, brought one of
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: your used rubbers out in its mouth, how would you
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: feel about that?
• 10:16
  Speaker 5: You want to know how I'd feel about it.
• 10:17
  Speaker 6: I would say, look at that stupid dog, and I
• 10:19
  Speaker 6: would grab him by the collar and I'd take him
• 10:21
  Speaker 6: back into the room.
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: Well, you're not a woman, Phil, and it's something really
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: only a woman.
• 10:27
  Speaker 6: Can understand, And maybe is something only a woman can understand.
• 10:29
  Speaker 6: That a beagle went and got your used feminine napkin.
• 10:32
  Speaker 5: If we could call it that, that's fine.
• 10:35
  Speaker 6: I used feminine napkin drop brought out. It's an embarrassing thing.
• 10:38
  Speaker 6: But you hit that dog with a fireplace shovel. As
• 10:42
  Speaker 6: you said, quote, I teed up on its ass end quote.
• 10:46
  Speaker 6: You also said that you would have kept hitting the
• 10:48
  Speaker 6: dog had you not heard your son Jason Jay, say no, Mommy,
• 10:51
  Speaker 6: please stop hitting bandit. We're talking with Margaret Gray. She's
• 10:56
  Speaker 6: a syndicated columnist. She also has a book coming out
• 10:58
  Speaker 6: this spring, The History of Hollywood, and I guess she
• 11:01
  Speaker 6: was meeting with her publisher when this very embarrassing incident
• 11:04
  Speaker 6: happened at her home in Santa Monica. Her pet beagle
• 11:06
  Speaker 6: went into the waste paper basket in the bathroom and
• 11:09
  Speaker 6: pulled a looking here what she describes as a soiled
• 11:12
  Speaker 6: feminine napkin, and then pranced into the living room with
• 11:15
  Speaker 6: it in front of all of these people that she
• 11:16
  Speaker 6: had over.
• 11:17
  Speaker 5: Say.
• 11:17
  Speaker 6: What we'll do is we'll take a call just before
• 11:19
  Speaker 6: our break. Can we please get Jay Santos out of
• 11:21
  Speaker 6: here because he's.
• 11:24
  Speaker 5: Margaret.
• 11:24
  Speaker 6: If you're there, we'll take a phone call. I can't
• 11:28
  Speaker 6: Are you there, dear? Yes, here is Sabrina. Go ahead, Sabrina.
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: Hi.
• 11:33
  Speaker 8: I'm calling on a cell phone, so I hope it's clear,
• 11:35
  Speaker 8: because I would to say, I am outraged and incensed
• 11:38
  Speaker 8: at the at the absolute gall of this woman above.
• 11:44
  Speaker 8: What about her selfish act?
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: What about the dog?
• 11:48
  Speaker 8: What would you have done if your two year old
• 11:49
  Speaker 8: child had come out with this and had done this.
• 11:51
  Speaker 8: Would you have taken a shovel and driven him four
• 11:54
  Speaker 8: hundred yards?
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: You could say, dog.
• 12:00
  Speaker 8: There is nothing you can say. That dog was an innocent,
• 12:04
  Speaker 8: innocent victim in a senseless crime, and you should go
• 12:08
  Speaker 8: to jails.
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: I beg your pardon. But that animal came out with
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: a used serven and napkin in its mouth. Everyone was
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: shocked and revolted by what that animal.
• 12:15
  Speaker 8: Did, and they would have gotten over that. They will
• 12:18
  Speaker 8: not get over the vision of you senselessly practically murdering
• 12:22
  Speaker 8: your dog in your living room.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: It was instinctive. I reached for the shovel. You would
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: have done the same.
• 12:27
  Speaker 8: Let me tell you, lady, I fear for your kids.
• 12:29
  Speaker 8: If you know, are your children's well?
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: I treat my children's very very low. I have a well.
• 12:36
  Speaker 8: You are the most selfish person, the selfish person I
• 12:39
  Speaker 8: have ever I'm sitting here, I am shaking. I am
• 12:42
  Speaker 8: so insanity.
• 12:44
  Speaker 5: I happened. See.
• 12:45
  Speaker 6: I knew that people would react this way, Margaret, because
• 12:48
  Speaker 6: you know, wait a.
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: Second, are you saying to me that a two year
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: old child is the same as a dog. How dare you?
• 12:53
  Speaker 8: No? I'm not, of course, I'm not to me. You
• 12:57
  Speaker 8: have no remorse whatsoever for what you did. If you
• 13:00
  Speaker 8: felt the least bit embarrassed by your actions, I might
• 13:04
  Speaker 8: be able to have some sympathy for you.
• 13:07
  Speaker 6: But apparently you say it's instinctive. But at least one
• 13:14
  Speaker 6: of the people there said that you put on a
• 13:16
  Speaker 6: golf glove.
• 13:16
  Speaker 5: Is that right?
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: I don't remember.
• 13:19
  Speaker 8: It sounds like it was a show to me, and
• 13:20
  Speaker 8: it sounds like you're proud of it.
• 13:22
  Speaker 6: You slowed down long enough to put a golf glove
• 13:25
  Speaker 6: on and then grab a fireplace shovel.
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: I don't have any recollection of that, so I don't know.
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: All I know is that I was mortified having a
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: cotext dragged into the living room in front of some
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: of the most prominent publishers in New York.
• 13:41
  Speaker 8: Well, it sounds like to me, lady, you got your
• 13:43
  Speaker 8: priorities all out of whack. Well else than you, you
• 13:51
  Speaker 8: ruined your image. If your book doesn't get published, it's
• 13:53
  Speaker 8: because of your senseless, violent nature and nothing else.
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: You know, you sound like the kind of person that
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: puts sunglasses on dogs. Ben Dennis around their next.
• 14:01
  Speaker 8: No, I don't, don't you, I don't, I don't I'm
• 14:04
  Speaker 8: not at all, And I you know, and I have
• 14:05
  Speaker 8: a problem with people who do that occasionally that you know,
• 14:09
  Speaker 8: I think that they go overboard entirely, you know, I
• 14:11
  Speaker 8: really do.
• 14:12
  Speaker 5: I got to ask you.
• 14:13
  Speaker 6: I got to ask you, mister Parker bentioned. Did you mutter,
• 14:16
  Speaker 6: mommy going to hit a hole in one?
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: I might have, I don't know.
• 14:20
  Speaker 6: You see you say it was instinct, You put on
• 14:22
  Speaker 6: a golf glove, you mutter something about hitting a hole
• 14:25
  Speaker 6: in one, and then, in your words, teed off on
• 14:28
  Speaker 6: that dog with a fireplace shovel.
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: I am absolutely shocked that you and your listeners would
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: take sides with a dumb animal over a human being
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: that was modified.
• 14:41
  Speaker 8: You don't defend itself. They didn't have any idea what
• 14:45
  Speaker 8: it was doing.
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: The whole idea was ball for all it knew. It was.
• 14:51
  Speaker 8: No idea that you were being humiliated. Had had absolutely
• 14:55
  Speaker 8: no concept of any wrongdoing whatsoever.
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: Sore. In other words, if your dog, if your so,
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: I would like I just want to answer, if your
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: husband started waving around one of your dirty tampons in
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: a party, that would be all right, I.
• 15:14
  Speaker 8: Take up a shovel and hit him.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: You would slap him.
• 15:20
  Speaker 8: But that's like me comparing the dog to your two
• 15:22
  Speaker 8: year old. You're not talking apples and oranges here.
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: Well, I know you're going to go murder.
• 15:27
  Speaker 8: Your husband the next time he embarrasses you.
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: At a party.
• 15:29
  Speaker 8: I got problems for you. I mean, I got you
• 15:32
  Speaker 8: know you? How have you gotten this far in life?
• 15:37
  Speaker 5: Her husband waving around a dirty tampon to your dog.
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: By the way, I've never seen a plastic ball drip
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: blood before, so that is an absolutely ridiculous comparison.
• 15:48
  Speaker 5: Thank you, that's all right, go ahead. Dog.
• 15:52
  Speaker 8: This dog had no concept of what it was doing.
• 15:54
  Speaker 8: It had no idea that it didn't set out viciously
• 15:57
  Speaker 8: and maliciously to come into your living room. And there
• 15:59
  Speaker 8: was you know, I mean, he had notes. There was
• 16:03
  Speaker 8: no intent whatsoever on the part of that dog.
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: The dog comes into the bathroom every time I'm changing
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: my BA.
• 16:10
  Speaker 8: How you walk out of publish, How you could come
• 16:12
  Speaker 8: on a national radio talk about you even think that
• 16:15
  Speaker 8: people were going to be sympathetic with you.
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: I have a very heavy flow. My doctor, my gynecologist
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: has happened. I went to the emergency room. I lost
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: the court of blood.
• 16:29
  Speaker 6: All right, thank you very much. Margaret Gray with us.
• 16:32
  Speaker 6: She's a writer she was in the middle of a
• 16:34
  Speaker 6: publishing meeting. Her dog got one of her soiled feminine
• 16:38
  Speaker 6: napkins out of the waste paper basket and brought it
• 16:40
  Speaker 6: into the living room. She got so angry she grabbed,
• 16:43
  Speaker 6: in her words, a fireplace shovel and struck the animal.
• 16:47
  Speaker 6: She feels the dog embarrassed her and she had some
• 16:49
  Speaker 6: kind of a right to do that.
• 16:50
  Speaker 5: In Phil Henry.
• 16:51
  Speaker 7: Show and now more, I'm the Phil Hendry Show with
• 17:01
  Speaker 7: Margaret Gray, a author who is on the line with
• 17:04
  Speaker 7: this from her home in Santa Monica, California.
• 17:07
  Speaker 6: Apparently, her dog came out of the bathroom carrying something
• 17:10
  Speaker 6: that she didn't want it to be carrying, so she
• 17:12
  Speaker 6: hit the dog.
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: Phil, I think it's really important that you tell people
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: what it is because the nature that's why I got.
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: I got as crazy as I did. It was a
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: soiled seven in napkin. It had blood on it. And
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: he comes walking out for all the world to see
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: with this.
• 17:28
  Speaker 5: And that's why you hit him with a shovel.
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: Would you. It's a normal thing to do.
• 17:33
  Speaker 6: And I don't know, I've never worn a feminine napkin.
• 17:35
  Speaker 6: I suppose that it's embarrassing.
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: Well, the fact is we're giving the dog up. We're
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: going to take it to the vet and leave it
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: there because I can't.
• 17:43
  Speaker 6: Have that little boy. Your ten year old son is
• 17:47
  Speaker 6: going to be devastated. Tanya, you're on the Phil Henry Show.
• 17:50
  Speaker 5: Go ahead, Yes, yes, ma'am, ma'am.
• 17:53
  Speaker 9: Have you ever been clinically dinosed for being dichotic.
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: Or anything dinosed?
• 18:00
  Speaker 5: Have hey, Tanya, turn your radio down. All right, you're
• 18:03
  Speaker 5: a little confused there.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: I think she said dinosed?
• 18:07
  Speaker 9: Have you ever been dinosed as being darling?
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: The word darling? The word is diagnosed, not dinos.
• 18:15
  Speaker 9: Do you know the definition of it?
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: You said, yes, I do, but but you don't know
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: how to pronounce it. I don't know which is worse.
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: Have you ever why would you insult me with that
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: a dog walked in with one of my cotextes in
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: its mouth because you lie awake?
• 18:31
  Speaker 9: Do you not think listen? Do you not think that
• 18:33
  Speaker 9: did this? Did this help anything?
• 18:36
  Speaker 7: You?
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: Did?
• 18:36
  Speaker 10: You?
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: Did you? It fell out of his mouth as soon
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: as I hit it with a shovel, and I'm here
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: with something else. Do you lie awake at night dreaming
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: of a dog walking in with one of yours in
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: his mouth.
• 18:47
  Speaker 9: I think I have more things to worry about.
• 18:49
  Speaker 8: You know.
• 18:49
  Speaker 9: I got over the junior high embarrassment of that and
• 18:52
  Speaker 9: also got lead for trash cans. If you're so worried
• 18:55
  Speaker 9: about that, you know what I mean.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: I understand that. But obviously the animal was around in
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: an area that it shouldn't have been nosing around in.
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: He could have cost me. I hit the dog, and
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: the cotext flew across the room. If that's what you're asking.
• 19:08
  Speaker 5: When you hit the dog with a shovel, it.
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: Went flying out of his mouth sideways. Yes, so did you.
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: I cured him of the problem, But quick.
• 19:17
  Speaker 9: Did you accomplish not being embarrassed anymore?
• 19:21
  Speaker 7: Did?
• 19:21
  Speaker 9: Did he not think this hurts your career at all?
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: I think the people that were there saw me act
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: in a very decisive way. I think they saw how
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: decisive I can be. And again I believe that they understood.
• 19:34
  Speaker 9: Here comes the Probably they probably they probably, they probably
• 19:38
  Speaker 9: understood that.
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: You continue what was embarrassed. When I hit that dog
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: with a shovel, the context flew out of his mouth,
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: hit a wall and stuck there. And I only noticed
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: that about fifteen minutes later. Dell said, look at that
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: and the the context was stuck on the wall, and
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: I was mortified. Mortified you would be two, I don't
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: think so. In your house you have the walls decorated
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: with used cotexes. Is that what I'm hearing you?
• 20:12
  Speaker 5: No, that's not what you're hearings?
• 20:14
  Speaker 9: And why probably my cotext putting stick to the wall.
• 20:17
  Speaker 9: If because you wrap it in pull a paper. You
• 20:20
  Speaker 9: see what I mean when you saw in the track
• 20:21
  Speaker 9: you wrapped.
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: It out of a dog, unraw the dog unwrapped it.
• 20:26
  Speaker 9: Oh wow, a smart dog, hanh.
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: I guess I don't know, but I can tell you
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: it's a shock to see it slowly moving down the
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: wall leaving a streak of red.
• 20:34
  Speaker 5: Oh my god. Can we not get graphic with this?
• 20:38
  Speaker 7: You?
• 20:39
  Speaker 9: You are sick.
• 20:40
  Speaker 5: Thank you, telling you very much.
• 20:41
  Speaker 6: The Phil Henry Show with Margaret Gray Phill Henry Schell.
• 20:51
  Speaker 5: I'm talking to up Jay. Jay's just he's out there
• 20:54
  Speaker 5: in the ether someplace in his radio room.
• 20:56
  Speaker 6: I'm talking with Margaret Gray and she hit her son's
• 21:00
  Speaker 6: eagle with a fireplace shovel after putting on a golf
• 21:03
  Speaker 6: glove and muttering something about mommy getting a hole in one.
• 21:07
  Speaker 6: And now the a dog you say you're going to
• 21:09
  Speaker 6: give up for adoption. I have a question for you, Margaret,
• 21:13
  Speaker 6: how do you tell your son you're getting rid of
• 21:15
  Speaker 6: his dog.
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: First of all, I think it's really low that you
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: bring up that golf glove incident.
• 21:20
  Speaker 5: I don't know that's what you were observed doing, and
• 21:22
  Speaker 5: you didn't deny it.
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: I think it's very low, especially knowing that my son's listens.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: I would further say.
• 21:27
  Speaker 6: Look, look at don't turn this around on me. Okay,
• 21:30
  Speaker 6: don't turn it around to me.
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: I think it's low. To answer your question, Phil, I
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: tell my son what I would tell anyone. Mommy is
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: a human being. I have a book, deal in the
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: works band it was a dog band. It isn't as
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: important as mommy. Now he doesn't understand, but he will.
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: One thing that I don't let stand in my way
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: is animals or children. I love my son very much,
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: but no way does he or that beagle of his
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: stand in the way of my book to you. And
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: I can tell you that, Phil, having been a writer
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: for many, many years, you know I love animals, I
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: really do. And for you to say the things that
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: you're saying, well.
• 22:11
  Speaker 6: I love animals too, and I never teed off on
• 22:13
  Speaker 6: one with a fireplace shovel.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: You know I love you know what my favorite song is?
• 22:17
  Speaker 5: Hold on? I want to take a phone call, right.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to play my favorite song in a minute.
• 22:22
  Speaker 5: That's fine, Let me take a phone call.
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: Why would a dog find my soiled pad so tasty?
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: What should I be looking for? Menstrual flavored alpo? Good? God?
• 22:32
  Speaker 5: Here is Brian on a Phil Henry show? Brian, Yeah,
• 22:35
  Speaker 5: I'm here, Yes, sir, go ahead.
• 22:37
  Speaker 10: Basically, I have a question for you. Do you know
• 22:39
  Speaker 10: what beagles are braided to do? From life?
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: Hello? Hello?
• 22:45
  Speaker 10: Yes?
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: Do you know what? Who is this Brian? What can
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: I do for you? Sir?
• 22:51
  Speaker 10: But I'm asking you a question? Do you know how
• 22:54
  Speaker 10: you know what dogs are? Mentality? Their brain? They are
• 22:58
  Speaker 10: breeded for in life? Where where they made for?
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: They are hunting dogs get are there to get no,
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: to get newspapers, to get slippers.
• 23:07
  Speaker 10: Negative to chase beagles are hunting.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: Dolls from nonsense? That's not nonsense if.
• 23:15
  Speaker 10: It's any in any binarian brook ma'am. By the way,
• 23:19
  Speaker 10: I'll answer your question if you're reminded.
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: Why let me ask why is he in our house
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: chasing balls? If he wants to get a bird.
• 23:26
  Speaker 10: But they had the fond things that there are one
• 23:30
  Speaker 10: track mind animals and go after it.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: Brian, I've never seen bagle go out and kill an
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: animal in his life. He bounces balls that he chases.
• 23:39
  Speaker 10: Things, ma'am. And then I say, you know what I'm saying,
• 23:43
  Speaker 10: Yes I do. I've been I've been raising dolls pure
• 23:46
  Speaker 10: breathe the German shepherd.
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: In other words, the great hunting Beagle hunted down a
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: soiled cotex what they do? I'll please?
• 23:56
  Speaker 10: Right, okay, let me ask you a questions. If you're
• 23:58
  Speaker 10: stn same hall, what's the and you found marijuana? Are
• 24:01
  Speaker 10: you gonna hit him with a pot? I mean that
• 24:04
  Speaker 10: dog people?
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: Am I going to hit?
• 24:06
  Speaker 10: Are you go ahead with a pot and pan?
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: Yes? I would, Yes, I would.
• 24:10
  Speaker 10: Oh you know what you would?
• 24:12
  Speaker 5: You would not?
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: If my son came home with drugs, I would take
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: the thick end of a thirty ounce Louisville slugger and
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: going going gone. That'd be his head.
• 24:24
  Speaker 7: Do you know what?
• 24:25
  Speaker 6: You know what?
• 24:26
  Speaker 10: Some money needs to take that over your head.
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: Wait, you are you saying that you would let drugs
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: into your home? No? But I was.
• 24:32
  Speaker 10: I was communicated my kid and tell my son. I
• 24:35
  Speaker 10: have a son, okay, tell him how bad drugs done?
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: Now?
• 24:40
  Speaker 10: Will that mack him over? The Loisville Slugger? What is
• 24:43
  Speaker 10: that teaching?
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: I would slip a battered glove on.
• 24:45
  Speaker 6: What is that?
• 24:46
  Speaker 10: What is that teaching?
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: I'll tell you it teaches him not to bring drugs into
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: my home.
• 24:50
  Speaker 6: And can we get back to the point here about
• 24:52
  Speaker 6: hitting a dog with a fireplace shovel after putting on
• 24:55
  Speaker 6: a golf glove and saying, Mommy, gonna hit.
• 24:57
  Speaker 5: A hole in one?
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: Well, I don't.
• 25:00
  Speaker 10: Yeah, you don't know because.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: Your stipe though.
• 25:03
  Speaker 10: You need some help, and you know the people on
• 25:05
  Speaker 10: their party are set up because of probably there fraplets.
• 25:08
  Speaker 10: You might hit them over the here with something new.
• 25:10
  Speaker 10: It seems like you're going to do with you as
• 25:12
  Speaker 10: bad as Charles Manson and all these other people.
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, oh my god, you don't. I hit
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: a beagle with a shovel, and now I'm transman.
• 25:21
  Speaker 10: A bing ohias exclume, ma'am a beagle HAIs wife dooop?
• 25:26
  Speaker 10: It's an animal yet? But so your kind rock, what
• 25:30
  Speaker 10: are you living?
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: I live in the state of California, and beagles.
• 25:33
  Speaker 10: And I guarant tell you they have regulations and dog abused.
• 25:39
  Speaker 10: You're crazy, Brian.
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: I will tell you this. I've known a lot of
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: human beings and I've never known one of them to
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: leave a big pile of turd near a fence. That's
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: what this beagle does all the time. And you're telling me.
• 25:50
  Speaker 10: Oh my god, oh my god. Yeah, human beings different.
• 25:54
  Speaker 10: They are trained this poop in a toilette. Dogs are
• 25:57
  Speaker 10: trained poop outside. They are also trained to hunt, flood, hunt,
• 26:03
  Speaker 10: ball blood. I mean, have you ever noticed that cooks cooking?
• 26:06
  Speaker 10: Does a dog run to the kitchen sell something interesting?
• 26:10
  Speaker 10: That's the same thing with that. Why don't you put
• 26:12
  Speaker 10: a cover over the darn fast can? They will not
• 26:14
  Speaker 10: get a hold of it.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: The dog, you said, a dog? You said? The dog
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: goes into the kitchen and cooks.
• 26:21
  Speaker 10: What okay? If you cook it, dog, don't cook cook it?
• 26:26
  Speaker 7: No?
• 26:26
  Speaker 10: No, you you're.
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: Listen to me.
• 26:28
  Speaker 5: You're cooking?
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: Oh all right?
• 26:31
  Speaker 10: Why oh you you are cooking?
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Why me a spoiler? I don't cook and I
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: have a cook.
• 26:37
  Speaker 10: I honey, you cook.
• 26:39
  Speaker 7: No.
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: I just got to tell me I don't cook. I
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: have a cook. I have a woman who.
• 26:42
  Speaker 5: Cooks all right, cooking. Let's say she's cooking.
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: All right, Let's say she's cooking.
• 26:48
  Speaker 10: The dog doesn't run to the kitchen and it's smell
• 26:50
  Speaker 10: the food.
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: The dog does what out? He doesn't run into the kitchen.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: We don't. We don't let him into that portion of
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: the house. We only keep him in the east wing.
• 26:59
  Speaker 10: Definitely, don't even own a dog, don't even have that,
• 27:02
  Speaker 10: should be having a child.
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: I have never known. I've never known a human being
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: to crap right on the kitchen floor, which is what
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: this beagle did. Now, secondly, I don't know any beagle.
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: Let me, and you're talking about beagles that go into kitchens.
• 27:18
  Speaker 5: He didn't say that.
• 27:19
  Speaker 6: He said, if the beagle smells something that somebody else
• 27:22
  Speaker 6: is cooking, the beagle isn't cooking.
• 27:24
  Speaker 5: Okay.
• 27:25
  Speaker 6: And a beagele craps on the floor because he's not
• 27:27
  Speaker 6: house trained. He craps outside in near a fence because
• 27:30
  Speaker 6: he does so.
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: Now, beagles hunt and cook in the weird world of
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: you two men, is that all?
• 27:36
  Speaker 10: No, they don't hunt, none of us to say nothing
• 27:39
  Speaker 10: else to my god, why oh you you?
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: And let me ask you something bright? If they hunt
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: and cook, do they clean dishes too, because I don't
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: think they do.
• 27:48
  Speaker 6: You know something, Now you're being purposefully stupid. Now you're
• 27:51
  Speaker 6: just on purpose being stupid. I happen to have witnesses
• 27:54
  Speaker 6: who said that when the dog walked in with that
• 27:57
  Speaker 6: tampon in his mouth, you didn't act out of instinct.
• 28:00
  Speaker 6: You slipped on a golf glove. You muttered something about
• 28:03
  Speaker 6: hitting a hole in one. You went out to the garage,
• 28:05
  Speaker 6: got your golf spikes, came in, put them on while
• 28:07
  Speaker 6: the dog is still there wagging his tail with the cotex,
• 28:10
  Speaker 6: went over to the fireplace, got the fireplace shovel, took
• 28:13
  Speaker 6: a couple of practice swings, according to this mister Parker,
• 28:16
  Speaker 6: and then hit the dog.
• 28:17
  Speaker 5: Isn't that true?
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: I think this is very unfair.
• 28:20
  Speaker 5: Isn't that true? Isn't that what you did?
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: Maybe?
• 28:25
  Speaker 10: Maybe it's maybe now, Phil, gee, she's crazy. If someone's
• 28:31
  Speaker 10: living in Californian.
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: Maybe I did. Maybe I didn't.
• 28:34
  Speaker 10: I need to call a dog warning and put this
• 28:36
  Speaker 10: way in jail for abuse.
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: You know, Brian, I love animals. The list R was a.
• 28:45
  Speaker 10: Pull that work for you, ain't it?
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: Listen to that? This is one of my favorite songs.
• 28:49
  Speaker 10: Much is that dog into it. Okay, this is really, this.
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: Is file no, I really the one with the wagley
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: tail flying over the tree.
• 29:03
  Speaker 5: Turn it off.
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: I'll tell you what, man, turn it back on. I
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: don't even say, manh.
• 29:10
  Speaker 5: Turn that thing off.
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: Turn it off, turn it on off, on, on, on on,
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: never mind. Kind of lost your place, didn't you.
• 29:22
  Speaker 10: Yes, on off.
• 29:25
  Speaker 4: Phil Henry Show, Real Famous Phil Henry Show is executive
• 29:30
  Speaker 4: produced by this guy right here, Phil Henry for Ciampri Incorporated.
• 29:33
  Speaker 4: All rights reserved on iHeart podcasts like I need a
• 29:38
  Speaker 4: new golf Club.
• 29:40
  Speaker 5: I'm sorry, God, oh my