Latest / Plausibly Live - The Dave Bowman Show Podcast / The Pain We Don’t Talk About

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The Pain We Don’t Talk About · Plausibly Live - The Dave Bowman Show Podcast

• 0:11
  From the On Air Across America newsroom, I'm Alex Ross with
• 0:14
  your morning update. Tennessee Governor Bill Lee has
• 0:17
  suspended the state's remaining execution for 2026 after
• 0:21
  officials failed to put Krista Gale Pike to death Wednesday
• 0:24
  night. Pike remained alive after
• 0:26
  receiving 2 rounds of pentobarbital and was
• 0:29
  transported to a hospital. The Department of Corrections
• 0:32
  says it followed the approved protocol.
• 0:34
  Lee has ordered an independent review.
• 0:36
  Pike was sentenced to death death for the 1995 murder of
• 0:39
  Colleen Schlemmer. A federal appeals court
• 0:42
  temporarily stayed the execution before the Supreme Court allowed
• 0:45
  it to proceed. A second federal judge has
• 0:48
  blocked President Trump's $100,000 fee on new H1B visa
• 0:52
  petitions. The judge ruled that federal
• 0:55
  agencies failed to follow required rulemaking procedures.
• 0:58
  The Department of Veterans Affairs reports that 6488
• 1:02
  veterans died by suicide in 202462 percent had not recently
• 1:08
  received VA healthcare. In baseball, the Yankees, White
• 1:12
  Sox and Padres completed wild card sweeps.
• 1:15
  Philadelphia forced a deciding game three against Atlanta.
• 1:18
  For the On Air Across America network, I'm Alex Ross.
• 1:31
  History has a long memory. Power has a short one.
• 1:36
  Somewhere between what they told you, what actually happened, and
• 1:40
  what nobody bothered to question, there's a story worth
• 1:44
  telling. From history and politics to
• 1:47
  culture, common sense, and the occasional trip down the rabbit
• 1:50
  hole. This is plausibly live The Dave
• 1:54
  Bowman Show. Well, good morning, good evening
• 2:00
  or good afternoon. Wherever you are, whatever you
• 2:02
  do, a. Lot of things happening in the
• 2:04
  world today. Most of them are.
• 2:05
  Far beyond our control, you might say.
• 2:08
  So perhaps it's time we took. A pause.
• 2:10
  And thought about life, about the laws of gravity, executions,
• 2:16
  suicide rates. None of the stuff that I had
• 2:20
  planned to talk. About today.
• 2:21
  At all when I went to bed. Last night, which doesn't seem
• 2:26
  that long ago. Text.
• 2:30
  Machine number 20. 9565 Dave, that's. 209565. 3283 E-mail Dave
• 2:36
  at. The Dave bowmanshow.com.
• 2:39
  And of course, you can find us on the web at the Dave
• 2:41
  bowmanshow.com. On Facebook, I actually opened a
• 2:45
  Twitter account yesterday. Haven't put anything there yet,
• 2:48
  but. We'll be doing that as well,
• 2:51
  where you can join in and. Let me know what you think about
• 2:55
  things, especially that tax machine. 520-9565, Dave. 24/7 I
• 3:00
  got Oh Man I got an ongoing discussion about the musical
• 3:04
  Cats with Mojave out in Mojave, CA.
• 3:08
  It's great. Unless those days.
• 3:11
  Yeah. Anyway, A loqui Conizio.
• 3:13
  Stand up. Tell those who oppose liberty.
• 3:16
  Don't tread on me. So I'm a little off this
• 3:40
  morning. I know I said I wasn't going to
• 3:41
  be here today. And for the record, I am
• 3:44
  recording. This two hours.
• 3:47
  Earlier than I normally would be recording and presenting this
• 3:51
  two hours earlier. Reason being that had a family
• 3:54
  member child. That had to be at the airport.
• 3:57
  In Seattle this morning. At 4:00, so I got up at 3:00.
• 4:04
  Which meant that I was supposed to go to bed, you know,
• 4:06
  relatively early. But I didn't.
• 4:07
  I was. Clearly almost 11.
• 4:09
  Before I went to bed and. Didn't sleep well so got up.
• 4:12
  Took them to the airport, came all the way back listening to
• 4:15
  Bill's show the whole way and figured, well, I'm here.
• 4:22
  I had a show prepped. Let's do it.
• 4:25
  And then the news came in and. I I.
• 4:32
  I know this is a strange position to have for a
• 4:35
  conservative. Radio talk show host.
• 4:39
  But for many. Years I have been.
• 4:44
  Surprisingly, I guess anti death penalty.
• 4:47
  I it's not that I don't think people deserve to die for crimes
• 4:52
  that they have committed. That's not what I'm saying at
• 4:55
  all. My questions become number one
• 5:01
  in California. They have a death.
• 5:04
  Penalty that they almost never use.
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  They sentence people to it, like Scott Peterson of Modesto, and
• 5:11
  then we spend. The next 40 years doing appeals
• 5:17
  this that the other. And it just goes on and on and
• 5:21
  on and on and eventually I mean. There was a time.
• 5:26
  When I was in California doing the radio.
• 5:28
  Show that you were more likely to die.
• 5:31
  On death. Row of old.
• 5:33
  Age than you. Ever were to have.
• 5:36
  The state of California actually inject.
• 5:38
  You or shoot you or hang you or whatever it was.
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  Absurd. And the expense involved in all
• 5:45
  this was monumental. And and if you think about.
• 5:51
  This. From a taxpayer standpoint,
• 5:55
  most. Of these death row inmates were.
• 5:59
  If not indigent, at least not independently.
• 6:03
  Wealthy, so they had. To have an attorney appointed by
• 6:06
  the state. That had to be paid for by the
• 6:09
  state. That had to be funded by the
• 6:10
  state. And of course, because it's a
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  death. Penalty situation.
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  They have very wide. Latitude and it got expensive
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  and the taxpayers are on the hook for that.
• 6:22
  The taxpayers are the ones paying for that.
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  They're you're not only paying for the prosecution of this
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  person, but you're paying for their defense as well in many
• 6:30
  cases. For years it would go on.
• 6:35
  And on and on and on. And then the Supreme Court was.
• 6:40
  Just as likely to. Overturn the death penalty
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  anyway and say, well, you know, guy's been on.
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  Death row for 30 years. We overturned the death sentence
• 6:48
  and commute this to life in prison without parole.
• 6:52
  Do we get a dime of that money we spent back?
• 6:54
  No, it's not that I don't think that the death penalty is
• 6:59
  useful. It's it's not that I don't.
• 7:01
  Think it's correct. I think that the way that we
• 7:05
  implement the death penalty in this country across the board is
• 7:09
  nonsensical. And it makes no.
• 7:12
  Sense and instead of, I don't know, instead of threatening
• 7:17
  people. With it, why don't we just say,
• 7:19
  look, you, you did I get? The argument the.
• 7:22
  Argument's going to be well, Dave, if.
• 7:23
  You say there's no death penalty, then people are just
• 7:25
  going to start murdering people because they're going to be OK
• 7:27
  with spending life in prison. Maybe I I've watched.
• 7:31
  Oz I wouldn't be OK spending life in prison.
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  I maybe that's. What we should?
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  Do make everybody that's thinking about committing a
• 7:40
  murder watch the prison drama from HBO back in the 2000s.
• 7:44
  Make them watch Oz. I don't know the idea of some of
• 7:47
  the stuff that went on there would cause me to go do.
• 7:50
  I really want to pull this. Trigger.
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  But then again, what is it? Something like 50% of all
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  murders don't get solved anyway. The way we.
• 8:00
  Implement the death penalty. Is so haphazard.
• 8:06
  Putting. Aside all the issues with race.
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  Involved with it, and I'm not going to sit here and tell you
• 8:10
  that those don't exist because I think they do, but putting aside
• 8:14
  those. Just the way we carry this out
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  is so absurd. And expensive unnecessarily so
• 8:23
  that it under no circumstances could you.
• 8:25
  Possibly call this justice. It's not.
• 8:28
  And now we have a situation where last night.
• 8:34
  State of Tennessee attempted. To execute.
• 8:36
  Attempted to execute. You ever heard those words in
• 8:38
  your life? Attempted to execute Christina.
• 8:42
  Or Christa Gayle Pike. Many of you may not remember
• 8:46
  this, but back in 1990. Five she and her.
• 8:50
  Friends murdered 1 Colleen Slimmer it was.
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  A horrible. Crime, and I am not going to
• 9:00
  excuse it. I am not not minimizing it, not
• 9:03
  none of it. She was a teenager when she did.
• 9:07
  This. May have been 18 as I recall
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  it's a long time ago. It was a hideous crime.
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  It was a violent. Crime.
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  It was an utterly unnecessary crime cued by things.
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  Like jealousy, you know? 'Cause women get along great all
• 9:29
  the time anyway. And as I recall.
• 9:34
  It was over a boyfriend that may not be.
• 9:37
  Correct, but that's what I recall it being over.
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  She carried the the victim's skull with her, parts of the
• 9:45
  skull with her. She was When she was arrested,
• 9:48
  she had pieces of the. Victim's head in her.
• 9:51
  Pockets her skull. It was.
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  It's a horrible, horrible crime. But there are three of them that
• 9:57
  did it. The other two.
• 10:00
  Did not get the death penalty, but Colleen or Christa GAIL Pike
• 10:03
  did and since 1995. We have been waiting.
• 10:11
  And waiting and waiting and waiting.
• 10:16
  And of course, over the last week, this has begun to build
• 10:18
  because. She was trying for emergency
• 10:20
  stay, claiming that she had some sort of condition that caused
• 10:24
  her veins to not function correctly and that.
• 10:29
  That the lethal. Injection was likely to be.
• 10:32
  Painful. Which is you?
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  Know again you can. Say it's an absurd.
• 10:37
  Argument, but is it? Dot dot dot the state has the
• 10:43
  right to execute a. Person for committing crimes.
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  But the state is. Also limited by the 8th
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  Amendment against cruel and unusual punishment.
• 10:56
  Is it cruel and unusual? Hang on to your horses, they
• 11:04
  attempted. To execute Christie, I keep
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  calling her Christina Christa Gale Pike last night.
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  It did not succeed. I don't know that in my.
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  Lifetime that's ever happened, there are cases in the past.
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  Where attempted executions failed.
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  And I get that there was a woman that was hung back in the
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  sixteen 1700s or something. They hung her and she survived
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  and she sat up and went, oh, I'm still.
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  Alive and the courts had to rule well, you hung her till she was
• 11:34
  dead. And now she's not.
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  Dead. She's free to go.
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  But in my. Lifetime.
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  I don't recall. Any attempted executions
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  completely failing? There was an execution in
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  Oklahoma some years ago. That was badly botched.
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  A lethal injection badly botched and.
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  It was clear to. Me and and and many of the
• 11:58
  observers. That the.
• 12:00
  Person suffered mightily. I know, I know, Dave.
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  They committed murders. They committed heinous crimes.
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  They should suffer and while I agree with that.
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  To its extent. I also say.
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  It's not the. State's role.
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  To make them suffer. Clearly.
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  Says in the Constitution cruel and unusual.
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  Can't do it if you. Believe in the deity, then the
• 12:30
  deity. Is going to take care.
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  Of things on the other side, unless you.
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  Know there's some magic get out of.
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  Free prayer or something at the last minute, I don't know.
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  Seems odd to me, but that seems to be the way things work out.
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  My mother certainly believed that.
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  But in any case, shouldn't you be happy?
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  About that. Or do you just want people
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  condemned to hell? Don't want to turn this into a.
• 12:54
  Theological argument. What I'm saying is the state
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  does not have the. Right to create.
• 12:58
  Cruel and unusual punishments and a botched execution, one
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  that in this. Particular case required 2.
• 13:07
  Rounds of phenyl barbital is unusual no matter how you look
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  at it. It's not supposed to do that.
• 13:16
  Prison says they followed. The protocols.
• 13:18
  But we don't know if this is so much more than just another
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  capital punishment. Debate.
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  So Tennessee deliberately exercised.
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  The government's ultimate. Power the taking of.
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  Life, liberty and property. They used due process.
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  They followed the rules. Up until it didn't.
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  Work which creates. Questions about the state's
• 13:45
  competence. Do they even know what they're?
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  Doing these. Prisons.
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  It's not like these prisons are doing this every.
• 13:50
  Day. And.
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  I would. Expect, anticipate, understand,
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  and. Believe that there are.
• 13:58
  People involved. With this, who are?
• 13:59
  Asked to be involved with this who aren't comfortable with it,
• 14:03
  don't want to do it. Maybe they step aside.
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  Maybe they don't, maybe they 'cause it on.
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  Purpose. We don't know.
• 14:14
  It raises those questions. About the state's competence it
• 14:17
  raises. Questions.
• 14:17
  About the 8th Amendment. And whether Tennessee.
• 14:20
  Can even try to do this. Again.
• 14:23
  I mean, I, I can tell you right now if I'm the governor of state
• 14:25
  of Tennessee, we're not doing this again.
• 14:28
  No. And apparently the governor of
• 14:30
  Tennessee this morning. Has said that's it.
• 14:33
  Secure the. Executions and and we're not
• 14:36
  having this again. Pike's crime was exceptionally.
• 14:41
  Brutal. I I I, I.
• 14:43
  You can't. Let go of that.
• 14:45
  It was a. Torture, murder of another 19.
• 14:48
  Year old girl. The victim's family has waited.
• 14:51
  3. Decades for the sentence to be
• 14:53
  completed and now what? Did we get justice?
• 14:59
  Did we? The same time the government is
• 15:03
  claiming the authority to. Take a life.
• 15:06
  It must demonstrate extraordinary competence to do
• 15:09
  so. Tennessee administered every.
• 15:11
  Dose its protocol authorized? And still, Pike did not die.
• 15:17
  I don't know what her condition is.
• 15:18
  I haven't seen any reports of this this morning.
• 15:20
  I don't know if she's awake. I don't.
• 15:22
  I don't know, but she ain't. Dead and as conservatives.
• 15:26
  Demanding. Accountability from our
• 15:27
  government. We can't suspend the principal
• 15:31
  inside an execution chamber. It the 8th Amendment doesn't end
• 15:36
  when they put the drugs in folks.
• 15:38
  It just doesn't. We still have to make sure that
• 15:42
  we. Have not violated those those
• 15:45
  Eighth Amendments protocols. I get it that we don't like it.
• 15:48
  I get the argument, well they should have to suffer too.
• 15:50
  But. That's not.
• 15:52
  Our place, and it's certainly. Not.
• 15:54
  The state's place that's. Between God and the Person.
• 16:05
  The execution. Had been temporarily stayed the
• 16:07
  Supreme Court in 1/6. 3 ruling overruled that stay the.
• 16:12
  The standard descent, it was, you know, Sotomayor, Kagan and I
• 16:20
  forget the other one. It's the same ones you always
• 16:22
  get. But anyway, I'm it's early in
• 16:24
  the morning, folks. My brain's not working yet.
• 16:27
  But it leaves us with. Questions Can Tennessee
• 16:29
  constitutionally attempt this again?
• 16:33
  What if she? Was dead for a moment.
• 16:36
  You know the heart. Stopped whatever and.
• 16:38
  Then it came back. Was she executed?
• 16:42
  Can this how how does the state of Tennessee look at us and say
• 16:46
  their? Protocol worked well.
• 16:47
  When its intended result did not occur.
• 16:50
  You're you're. That's it's the Moneyball thing.
• 16:54
  You keep telling me he's a good hitter, but he can't.
• 16:55
  Hit. If your protocol didn't work.
• 16:59
  It didn't work. Does a failed?
• 17:02
  Execution constitute cruel and unusual punishment even when the
• 17:06
  original sentence remains lawful.
• 17:08
  Well, this is something I struggle with.
• 17:10
  I think it does. I'm willing to hear your
• 17:13
  arguments against that Dave at the Dave bowmanshow.com or or
• 17:16
  with me. More importantly, what does the
• 17:19
  state? Owe the victim's family after
• 17:22
  subjecting them to this. Think about that.
• 17:26
  Has. Justice actually been
• 17:28
  accomplished here. While Pike would have been the.
• 17:32
  First woman executed in Tennessee in more than two. 100
• 17:34
  years. And only the 19th woman executed
• 17:38
  in the United States since capital punishment was resumed
• 17:41
  in 1976. Constant.
• 17:45
  Her gender is notable, notable. But constitutional standards
• 17:48
  don't change. They don't change.
• 17:52
  The failed. Execution is dominating
• 17:55
  headlines this morning. Along with the the airliner
• 17:57
  thing, it combines a. Horrific murder.
• 18:01
  A lawful death sentence. A last minute Supreme Court
• 18:04
  intervention. And a state procedure that
• 18:06
  failed, failed after. Two rounds of legal drugs,
• 18:14
  Tennessee claimed the. Authority to take her life,
• 18:19
  whatever you think. Of the death penalty.
• 18:21
  That's a failure of government. With constitutional
• 18:24
  consequences, and it concerns me deeply.
• 19:04
  100 kilotons of conservative firepower.
• 19:06
  This is plausibly live with Dave Bowman.
• 19:11
  Welcome back. It's the Dave Bowman Show,
• 19:15
  plausibly live. Me, Dave. 2O9565 Dave is the
• 19:19
  text Machine, 209-5653. 283. So the voicemail machine too.
• 19:23
  You can give me voicemails there if you want.
• 19:25
  E-mail Dave at the Dave. Bowmanshow.com You know the
• 19:30
  other story that caught my mind this morning.
• 19:32
  Yes, the airplane. Thing.
• 19:36
  You heard Alex tell you, 6400. And 88 veteran suicides.
• 19:41
  In 2000. 24. The last year that we have
• 19:45
  actual data for, that's an average of. 17.7 Almost 18.
• 19:52
  Per day, which I guess. Is good news 'cause it's down
• 19:54
  from 20. Two, right, that's the way
• 19:56
  we're, I suppose we're supposed to look at it 62%.
• 20:02
  Of those have not. Received VA healthcare during
• 20:04
  the year of death or the preceding year.
• 20:11
  From 2001 to 2024, the suicide rates amongst.
• 20:15
  VA Healthcare enrolled enrollees VA.
• 20:18
  Healthcare enrollees declined by 2 1/2 percent.
• 20:22
  Yay. Meanwhile, the.
• 20:25
  Rate amongst veterans outside the systems.
• 20:27
  Increased to almost 70. 1% increased 71% not to 71% that's
• 20:34
  that would be wrong between 2023 and 2024 along the rate.
• 20:38
  Fell to 4. .8% amongst. Enrollees and Rose. 3.7% amongst
• 20:44
  unenrolled. That's a lot of numbers and.
• 20:48
  What it? Doesn't seem to.
• 20:50
  Capture is the idea here that. 18 veterans a day are still
• 20:53
  committing. Suicide.
• 20:57
  It's a hard. The strongest divide in this
• 21:05
  report is not. Party service branch or.
• 21:08
  Combat status. It's a connection to care and
• 21:13
  that does not. Prove that the VA.
• 21:15
  Enrollment alone. Causes the different outcomes.
• 21:18
  But it identifies that. Outreach is failing, folks.
• 21:24
  I got to be careful what I say. Here, 'cause things are what
• 21:27
  they are. I am enrolled in the VA
• 21:30
  healthcare system. I am.
• 21:31
  Currently rated at 30% disability, Which I have.
• 21:37
  Struggled with now for more than 10 years.
• 21:42
  I am I live in horrible. Pain.
• 21:53
  Many of you know that my knee was replaced due to an injury.
• 21:56
  That occurred aboard USS. Michigan in 1984 a A
• 22:00
  degenerative problem led to a knee replacement in 2016.
• 22:04
  Right after I left. Radio That knee replacement
• 22:08
  failed. It had to be.
• 22:09
  Redone revised last in 2024 so it's been 2 years now and even
• 22:16
  my physician then. Said look, we are.
• 22:20
  Trading mobility for stability you will not have.
• 22:26
  Motion you will not have. The ability to move the way you
• 22:30
  used to be able to. You know, or even.
• 22:33
  You could. With the broken one, but you'll
• 22:35
  be more stable. You won't be falling down every
• 22:38
  every. Few days which?
• 22:40
  Was one of the problems that I had when the original need.
• 22:42
  Failed is I was. Falling down at least once a
• 22:46
  week my. Shoulder surgery last fall.
• 22:49
  Was almost entirely. Due to a fall.
• 22:51
  That I took because the knee failed and I went down the
• 22:54
  stairs that didn't. Tear the rotator cuff.
• 23:01
  But you know, the the the all the other stuff was caused by
• 23:04
  that. Since 2016, I have lived in just
• 23:12
  pain. I I don't like to talk.
• 23:16
  About it because, well. I'm not sure it does anything.
• 23:25
  It's frustrating. It's angering beyond.
• 23:27
  Belief it has left. Me constantly irritable,
• 23:33
  constantly angry, constantly mad.
• 23:38
  I have a few outlets. Where I can?
• 23:41
  Try to get it out. I I I like to walk.
• 23:44
  As you know, but walking is painful and half the time I'm
• 23:48
  walking I'm telling myself I got to take another step because if
• 23:51
  I don't, I'm. Everything's going to.
• 23:54
  Lock up and I'm going to be hurting.
• 23:57
  It caused other problems. With my feet.
• 23:59
  Are problematic because. I am a type 2 diabetic.
• 24:03
  I can't control things the way I'm supposed to.
• 24:05
  That's why I'm on an insulin pump.
• 24:06
  It's. Why?
• 24:11
  Just living in pain constantly. I have slip on shoes because I
• 24:17
  can't tie my shoes. I cannot bend my knee to put my
• 24:20
  shoes on to tie them. Putting on socks is.
• 24:28
  It's almost an adventure. I have to be stretched out and
• 24:34
  loose. And I have to take painkillers
• 24:36
  just to put on God damn socks. I have to.
• 24:45
  Walk upstairs pain I have to get into a car to drive a.
• 24:50
  Child to the airport. Two hours in a car, you.
• 24:54
  Think I'd just hop right out and.
• 24:55
  Go Oh, time to go in and do a show.
• 25:01
  It it's, it's depressing. And I find myself.
• 25:09
  At odd. Ends every now and then.
• 25:13
  I try to put. A face on it because you know.
• 25:15
  Look very proud. Of what I did in the Navy.
• 25:17
  I'm very proud of what we did. During the Cold War, but it has
• 25:23
  left me unable to function on a daily.
• 25:26
  Basis beyond the barest. Of minimums, and even those
• 25:31
  barest of minimums are done in paint, just sitting here talking
• 25:36
  to you. I could describe.
• 25:40
  The aches and pains that I'm having and, and, and they're
• 25:42
  not, you know, aches and pains like, you know.
• 25:44
  Take a little. Bit of ibuprofen and it's fine.
• 25:46
  I'm talking about sharp stabbing pains.
• 25:53
  I make it through because. What option is there in 2000 and
• 26:03
  19 that was sent to the American Lake Clinic?
• 26:11
  By the DAV. They recommended I go there and
• 26:14
  I enrolled in the. The VA Healthcare.
• 26:19
  The system that supposedly. Causes suicide rates to fall
• 26:24
  slightly. I was enrolled in something
• 26:29
  called Community Care, which meant that they didn't.
• 26:32
  Have any VA doctors here? So you.
• 26:35
  Go out in the community and you get whatever and.
• 26:37
  What I quickly discovered was that most of.
• 26:39
  The doctors didn't want to. Deal with it because the VA was
• 26:43
  so. Slow in paying things.
• 26:46
  Then we got a VA clinic here. OK, great.
• 26:50
  And I got a VA doctor and I never.
• 26:54
  Actually saw her in. Person.
• 26:55
  The only time we'd ever talk was once a year.
• 26:58
  We'd talk. Over a Tele teleconference thing
• 27:01
  and she'd call me every now and then if my.
• 27:03
  Test results were weird. Never met her in.
• 27:07
  Person got ready to to make some major.
• 27:12
  Stuff going on. Went to make the appointment.
• 27:14
  She'd quit, she'd moved on. Oh, you got another doctor now?
• 27:19
  Guy I really liked. His name was Joseph Smith.
• 27:21
  No, I'm not kidding, Joe Smith. Eagle team of the VA Silverdale
• 27:27
  Care and I really liked the guy and I made a.
• 27:29
  Point of saying, I don't want any more teleconferences.
• 27:32
  I want to meet in person. And he was very nice, very
• 27:37
  helpful. Very supportive.
• 27:41
  For the two appointments that I got to saw see him in three
• 27:43
  years because one appointment got cancelled, COVID gone, we're
• 27:49
  canceling all appointments. Oh great.
• 27:52
  So then I got to see him for my annual check up the next.
• 27:55
  Year and. Went to make my appointment the
• 27:58
  other day. I'm not making this up.
• 28:00
  He's. Gone.
• 28:02
  Got another doctor. Doctor.
• 28:04
  Gill and the letter. Literally says from the VAVA
• 28:08
  healthcare literally says. If you'd like an appointment,
• 28:11
  just call this number. That's VA healthcare.
• 28:17
  For me now, maybe for other people, it's more than that.
• 28:21
  I'm. Blessed in the sense that my
• 28:22
  wife has insurance and I'm on that, but.
• 28:24
  You know my wife's closing. Down on retirement age and who
• 28:31
  knows where that's going to be downstream from now.
• 28:35
  What I do know is in the. Past year?
• 28:40
  Two years. Since the knee revision was
• 28:43
  done, the pain has gotten significantly worse.
• 28:49
  Significantly. Worse, there are days.
• 28:51
  When I just don't even, I just don't even go downstairs because
• 28:55
  I can't do it. I just stay upstairs.
• 28:58
  There are days. When?
• 29:04
  Folks, it just hurts. It just fucking hurts and it
• 29:12
  affects everything you do. Your son wants to come in and
• 29:16
  and and talk to you and you. Just don't feel like it.
• 29:21
  Your wife wants to go for a drive.
• 29:23
  You just don't feel like it. All of these things happen and
• 29:26
  all of these things affect every single day and the.
• 29:31
  VA had this backlog. You remember this two years ago,
• 29:37
  this immense backlog and I had submitted a new package and
• 29:42
  said, hey. This.
• 29:44
  My life sucks and I can't. Can't function, can't do this,
• 29:47
  can't do that. 178 days. It took that thing to go through
• 29:53
  and they came back and said and all you can do is try again.
• 30:05
  And so I have submitted a new package and that's what I've got
• 30:08
  in my hands and that's one of the reasons I was not going to
• 30:10
  be here. Today is because I have.
• 30:12
  What they call some CMP exams today to to follow up again.
• 30:18
  To follow up again. To follow up again to.
• 30:20
  Follow up again, been doing this for 10 fucking years.
• 30:33
  One of the things they have diagnosed me with, my doctor has
• 30:36
  diagnosed me with is what's known as a general anxiety
• 30:38
  disorder. Most.
• 30:41
  People would call that PTSD. Most people would call it, you
• 30:45
  know, depression, whatever. It comes from a couple of
• 30:53
  incidents that happened while I was in the.
• 30:54
  Service that have. Stayed with me for many, many
• 31:00
  years and I didn't even. Realize how impactful they were.
• 31:04
  I just didn't. And in recent weeks and in
• 31:08
  recent months, I've been talking to people and sitting down with
• 31:11
  people and I'm starting to realize, wait, no wonder I'm so.
• 31:14
  Screwed up. No wonder I.
• 31:17
  Feel the way I feel. And then no wonder.
• 31:22
  I I have. The nightmares that I have
• 31:26
  doesn't relate to the pain necessarily, but even when I
• 31:34
  take enough painkillers and I can almost function, I'm still
• 31:38
  in a. Bad mood about everything.
• 31:41
  Still in this distressful mood, I don't trust anybody, don't
• 31:45
  like anybody. I don't want to be around
• 31:47
  people. It's not normal.
• 31:56
  Oh, anyway. Got to do that too.
• 32:00
  The VA is looking at this and going, how can we do this?
• 32:03
  Well, the world has changed. You know that, right?
• 32:08
  Rumor is, and I can't confirm it, I got no way of doing it.
• 32:11
  I got. I got no way of proving this one
• 32:14
  way or the other other than. I know a little bit of how
• 32:17
  things work that VA backlog. Remember how?
• 32:21
  Suddenly it got solved. VA adney staff the VA get bigger
• 32:29
  did the VA get? I don't know better all of a
• 32:32
  sudden. Of course not.
• 32:35
  What they got was. AI what they got?
• 32:39
  Was artificial intelligence. What they got was the ability to
• 32:41
  scan everything really quickly. And they had.
• 32:43
  To clear this backlog and so they.
• 32:45
  Basically just said clear it. I don't know if I got caught up
• 32:52
  in that or not. I have no idea.
• 32:54
  What I do know is I. Live every freaking.
• 32:56
  Day in just pain. Just.
• 33:01
  Horrible pain. And I can understand.
• 33:06
  I understand why 18 veterans a day say to themselves it's just
• 33:14
  not worth it. It's just not if one of them was
• 33:20
  here right now. I would say look.
• 33:21
  You got to find something to make it worthwhile.
• 33:24
  You got to find something to keep it going.
• 33:25
  You got to find that, that thing that helps, the thing that says
• 33:31
  I got to get up in tomorrow morning because I've.
• 33:32
  Got to do this. No matter how much pain it is,
• 33:36
  no matter how much it hurts, no matter how much it causes, no
• 33:39
  matter what. Frustrations there are.
• 33:42
  Something is depending on me. To do this thing.
• 33:46
  And if I'm not there to do? It who will?
• 33:52
  And I find great solace the ideas that the.
• 33:56
  Rabbi's teach that the day you're born is the day God
• 34:05
  decided that the world. Could not be healed.
• 34:08
  Without you in it. And the day you die.
• 34:16
  Is the day that. The world no longer needs what
• 34:20
  you can bring to it, and so it's time for you to move on.
• 34:25
  Your purpose is complete. Don't give in to the.
• 34:29
  Pain. Take the.
• 34:31
  Time right now, tell the people. That matter in your.
• 34:33
  Life. You love them very much.
• 34:34
  You'd miss them if they weren't there.
• 34:35
  Don't. Pass up those.
• 34:36
  Opportunities you don't want to have.
• 34:39
  That regret plausibly. Live.
• 34:43
  I'm Dave Bowman. This is my show and we'll see
• 34:46
  you tomorrow for a Friday. Episode.
• 34:49
  The Dave Bowman Show right here in the on air across American
• 34:52
  network.