Latest / Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists / Movie Cowboys

Transcript

Movie Cowboys · Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: This week, get your yeehaw on, it's Movie Cowboys.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: Movie Cowboys have been around basically from the dawn of
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: film itself. From spaghetti westerns to American classics, these had
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: a hold on Hollywood and cinema for years and years
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: and years. And now, in the new age, we have
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: cowboy shows. But has the cowboy movie star fallen completely off?
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: Today.
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: Today. We'll sit down with four stars to get to
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: the bottom of it.
• 0:37
  Speaker 4: The legend of the American cowboy is as American as
• 0:41
  Speaker 4: apple pie. And these four movie cowboys are just a
• 0:47
  Speaker 4: couple of the incredible men, women, and non-binary maybe, people
• 0:54
  Speaker 4: that have created the landscape we know as the Wild West.
• 0:58
  Speaker 5: So sit back, frame up, gun up. And hat on.
• 1:06
  Speaker 5: Let's listen in.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: Well, hi! How y'all doing today?
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: Well, certainly, certainly can't complain, can't complain. Well, howdy-do, howdy-do, howdy-do.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: Howdy, all y'all. It's such an honor and a privilege
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: to be sitting down with some of the greats, I
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: would say. My God, this is such a privilege.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: Don't take your horse here. I took my car.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: That's hilarious. No, I drive my Lamborghini. It's Italian made.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: Italian made is a great car. Italian. I do love Italian.
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: Italian made.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: Italian is good stuff.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: Them Italians make it different over there.
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: Italians also make... Country movies.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: Westerns. Spaghetti Westerns. Spaghetti Westerns.
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: Spaghetti Westerns.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: You ever tried a Bucatini Western? Oh, baby. Yummy. A
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: Fettuccine Alfredo Western.
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: Hold on a minute.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: Hold on a minute.
• 2:11
  Speaker 6: What's the difference between a Bucatini Western and a Spaghetti Western?
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: Well, a Bucatini Western has 50% more beef. Wow. More
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: cows involved.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: A Fettuccine Alfredo Western snows. Wow. You know, a Tagliatelle Western,
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: thinner plot.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: Penny Western, full of holes. Lasagna Western.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: Well, there's layers to this one. A Figato Western.
• 2:43
  Speaker 7: Wipe you up, spit you out, sugar you up, sugar
• 2:46
  Speaker 7: you up, push you to school.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: Ravioli Western. You know there's something right in the middle
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: there that's going to get you going, you know?
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: Carbonara Western. You eat it for dinner, but it feels
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: like breakfast.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: Macaroni Western. Just something quick for the kids to go
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: off to school.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: Absolutely. Just something quick. Maggiano's Western. Get a pasta, take
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: a pasta.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: You get a Western on the way home.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: Love it. It's delicious.
• 3:11
  Speaker 6: I love seeing a movie in the theaters and they
• 3:13
  Speaker 6: hand you a western as you leave.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: I love that. It's delicious.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: I love it. Well, now that we got that settled.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think that's settled.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: I don't think that's settled. Now, let's make sure we
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: go through all our topics today. We can cross off
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: Spaghetti Western and its many other counterparts.
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: We got Italians down. Italians. Although, I do think I may.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: Have some more thoughts on Italians down the road.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: We all have a lot of thoughts on all them
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: European countries. Unfortunately.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: Unfortunately.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: I think we could keep going, and maybe we'll get
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: back to it.
• 3:50
  Speaker 8: I think we might.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: Well, why don't we go around and introduce ourselves first. And,
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: of course, we all know how we are known, but
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: maybe we could tell the audience these city folk. These
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: city slickers. These urban sons of guns.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: These little city slickers on their lime scooters.
• 4:12
  Speaker 5: I'll tell you, though.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: I'll tell you this.
• 4:14
  Speaker 7: Some of these city slickers... Sometimes I'll find a cowboy
• 4:17
  Speaker 7: in it. Like, I'll be on a set, big HBO set,
• 4:20
  Speaker 7: and I see a grip, and I go, that's a cowboy.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: Absolutely. That's your damn cowboy.
• 4:25
  Speaker 6: Cowboy ain't no hat, or that ain't no polo tie.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: Cowboy's an attitude.
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: Sometimes the cowboy's in the eyes. I seen a scripty.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: That's a cowboy. I ain't never met no scripty that's
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: a cowboy. I'll go on record saying that. To be honest,
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: I have not as well, but I know they're out there.
• 4:41
  Speaker 6: I went to a grocery store. Woman gave me a
• 4:43
  Speaker 6: bag without charging me for it. That's a cowboy.
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: Now, that's a cowboy. Now, that's a cowboy. I once
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: met an aide, second second.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: Second second.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: Who was so close to being a cowboy. They were
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: just starting off. Cow little boy.
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: Is what I like to call him.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: Cow child.
• 5:02
  Speaker 8: Cow child.
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: Cow child. Cow child. Cow child. You ain't there yet.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: You ain't there yet. Well, come on. Come on, guys.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: You're getting me distracted.
• 5:11
  Speaker 6: We're wandering more than a calf in the meadow.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: Come on. Come on. And they do love to wander.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: Those calves love to wander.
• 5:21
  Speaker 7: We're drawing more than a barfly on his fourth round.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: Oh, God.
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: I'll say it. I'll say it, too. Whoa, went a
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: little New York there. That's good. No, I didn't. I
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: took my stick out of my mouth.
• 5:35
  Speaker 7: It changed the way my sound came out.
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: Keep it in. Stay country.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: I'll keep it in.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: The sound changes.
• 5:41
  Speaker 7: Okay.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: Hey, y'all. My name, of course, is Sam Spike. Good God,
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: Sam Spike. The one and only. One of my best
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: friends sitting here. We came through all of it. We
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: came up and down together. All of it. All of it.
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: I mean, we were constantly competing for such similar roles.
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: My God.
• 5:59
  Speaker 7: Back in the day when you wouldn't tape it before.
• 6:01
  Speaker 7: We'd see each other in the hallways of the audition rooms.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: And that's when you could really tell who the true
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: cowboys were and who were just these Hollywood shrews.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: Well, a true cowboy has a different kind of slate.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we go.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: Oh, we got to talk cowboy slates.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: We'll talk cowboy slate in a second.
• 6:19
  Speaker 7: After we go back to spaghetti western, more Italian dishes.
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: Italian and slate.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: We got to put it on the minutes. So we're
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: going to add cowboy slates to the minutes.
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: Put it on the itinerary.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: Itinerary. Good idea. So I'm Sam Spike. I've been in
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: a lot of westerns, a lot of cowboy stuff. I
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: own a ranch myself down in Fort Worth area, right
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: outside of Coppell, Texas. And you might know me now
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: because I run Dirt Guy. I'm the lead in Dirt Guy.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: Show on. Paramount Plus.
• 6:53
  Speaker 5: How many seasons you got there, Spike?
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: We're on season four, I believe.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: Well, howdy.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: Well, howdy. I heard you signed a 400-season contract.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: I signed a 400-season contract. First of its kind. First
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: of its kind. 400 seasons of Dirt Guy. And we're
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: just getting started. We got 10 times the amount of
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: seasons coming to you on Paramount Plus. It's kind of
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: the new age cowboy, you know. I ain't wearing the gear.
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: I ain't dressed. I'm wearing, you know, flannel and a
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: trucker hat. But, boy, do I get things done. God,
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: do you.
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: Now, I heard that. The whole entire show is based
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: off a guy that a bunch of people heard yelling
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: crazy things somewhere outside of Odessa, Texas.
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: That's exactly what it's based on. It's crazy.
• 7:38
  Speaker 7: You can get the rights to anything these days. You
• 7:41
  Speaker 7: had to buy those rights. You couldn't just ride a movie.
• 7:47
  Speaker 7: Now we had to go find this.
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: Guy and buy the rights of him having a mental
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: breakdown outside of Odessa.
• 7:52
  Speaker 5: You had to option a mental breakdown.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: We had to option a mental breakdown.
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: He takes all sorts.
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: I mean, that's the most interesting thing. Cowboy life and
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: Hollywood life, it's where you find the middle that is
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: always going to be interesting. Because it ain't ballpark Hollywood.
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: We ain't going to go work with the big studios. No.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: But we have to.
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: Absolutely.
• 8:14
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: So I'm Sam Spike, and check out Dirt Guy.
• 8:17
  Speaker 7: I will say really quickly, though, what you're talking about
• 8:20
  Speaker 7: is interesting, because I'd say the studio model, some of
• 8:23
  Speaker 7: these streamers, some of these These indie platforms, those are cowboys.
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: Well, I like to think about it like the studio
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: is the big ranch and the indies or the guys
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: just starting it up looking for gold on the side. Now,
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: who's the horse in this? So the horse in this is- Showrunner.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: That's a showrunner. Showrunner. Showrunner. No, no, no, no, no, no.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: Who's the saddle?
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: The saddle that's an exec that attaches to the showrunner. Oh,
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: sort of an executive producer. An executive producer. That's a
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: hard word for.
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: You, huh?
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: Executive producer. Sometimes I'll see a horse. I'm going to
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: get it by the end. Yeah, you get it by
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: the end.
• 9:02
  Speaker 7: Sometimes I'll see a horse going fast, and I go,
• 9:04
  Speaker 7: that's as fast as a showrunner.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: That's his face.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: Is he a showrunner or not?
• 9:08
  Speaker 8: Absolutely.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: Sometimes if a horse is trotting, you go, he's running
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: at half showrunner right now. Half showrunner. Horsepower.
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: I think showrunner power might be more appropriate.
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: Showpower. Showpower.
• 9:20
  Speaker 6: I tell you what, if cars are running on showrunner power,
• 9:23
  Speaker 6: there ain't be one going on the highway.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: I tell you what.
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: I tell you what. You tell me nothing.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: You tell me nothing.
• 9:33
  Speaker 7: I tell you what, you tell me nothing.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: Tell me what or you tell me nothing about that. Well, howdy!
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: How y'all doing today?
• 9:43
  Speaker 6: My name is Randall Gentry.
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: Randall Gentry!
• 9:47
  Speaker 6: Y'all might know me as a singing cowboy from many, many,
• 9:51
  Speaker 6: many years past. I also hosted the Randall Gentry Hour
• 9:56
  Speaker 6: on television for 40 years, singing for children with my
• 10:01
  Speaker 6: favorite puppet sidekick, Poopy Whoopie.
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: Poopy Whoopie. I mean, I grew up on Poopy Whoopie.
• 10:07
  Speaker 6: Poopy Whoopie, the crazy old cowboy to come on in,
• 10:12
  Speaker 6: make all sorts of noises. Oh, he had a lot
• 10:15
  Speaker 6: of fun singing around the campfire.
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: With old Poopy Whoopie and his horse, Scoop.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: Poopy Whoopie and Scoop. Stupid Poopy Whoopie. Nick, can I say,
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: you must be at least 112, but you look no
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: day over 28.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: I haven't gotten older.
• 10:31
  Speaker 6: I have just gotten more excited to be alive.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: My God, that's beautiful. So what is your secret then?
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: Is it Cowboy Ozempic?
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: Is it Bush Beans Ozempic?
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: Is it Cowboy Injections of some sort? Cowboy Botox? Cowboy
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: Bleph Surgery?
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: I don't touch the stuff.
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: You ain't got cowboy bleph surgery. I didn't get cowboy bleph.
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: You didn't get a little bit of cowboy bleph.
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: You think I got cowboy bleph?
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: You got a little bit. Oh, please. If you don't
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: have cowboy bleph surgery, I'll eat my damn hat.
• 11:05
  Speaker 6: If y'all don't know what cowboy bleph surgery is, it's
• 11:08
  Speaker 6: when a rattlesnake bites you.
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: Above the eye. It makes you look so beautiful. It
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: makes you look so good.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: And you can find that rattlesnake in Santa Monica.
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: We're barely there yet.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: Now, now, now.
• 11:20
  Speaker 6: I ain't touched nothing on my face that the sun
• 11:22
  Speaker 6: ain't touched first.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: Lord God.
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: I'm a cowboy through and through.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: Whatever Mother Earth wants its way with, it will have.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: A TV cowboy.
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: I'm a TV cowboy and a singing cowboy.
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: Come on, give the people your intro song to your show.
• 11:38
  Speaker 7: All right.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: It brings a tear to my heart. And an eye
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: to my soul.
• 11:43
  Speaker 5: And don't forget Poopy's part.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: All right. Poopy's part is most of it for me.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: Go ahead. Giddy up, ring the bell.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: It's a cowboy corral.
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: Giddy up, ring the bell. It's a cowboy corral.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: Absolutely. Absolutely.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: Now, it sounds better when you hear it coming from Poopy's.
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: Mouth, but I tried my hardest.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: That was beautiful.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: Oh, no, that is absolutely nostalgic. I feel like I
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: am a little girl in my grandpa's TV room again.
• 12:22
  Speaker 6: I am so happy that y'all grew up with Poopy
• 12:26
  Speaker 6: and me.
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: We had a lot of fun.
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: I mean, that's how I learned culture. You had everybody
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: on your show. You had Randy Dink. You had cowgirl
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: Susie Q. We had Okie Kook. Okie Kook.
• 12:42
  Speaker 7: The first time I saw Okie Kook on my TV screen,
• 12:45
  Speaker 7: I was in my grandfather's TV room.
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: I'm sucking on a mint. And I went, oh, my God.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: Okie Kook.
• 12:51
  Speaker 6: You remember when Okie Kook laughed at me by the
• 12:54
  Speaker 6: foot in front of him?
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: How could I forget?
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: He said a lot like a horse at the beginning
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: of that.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: You remember that?
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: Wow, that's amazing. It's nice to be here.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: Well, now, you are just the most chipper man in Hollywood.
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: I do believe that.
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: I'm happy to be you.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: I'm happy to be you. It's a lot coming from you.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: Oh, please. It's a lot coming from you, son.
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: You think I'm chipper?
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: I think you're the alp, he said, honey. You think, oh,
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: I see what you're saying.
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: You're accusing me of.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: Having a sour attitude.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: Well, I'll tell you what. I don't get sour unless
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: the world make me sour. Like a sour old gobsmacker
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: or a Mike and Ike.
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: Listen, Both things not very sour, I gotta say.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: Hey, Mike and I, no, no, don't do that.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: A sour Mike and I, I ain't never heard of that.
• 14:03
  Speaker 3: No, y'all don't, you would say Mike and I can sweet.
• 14:05
  Speaker 6: Now this is, that's why, not the main reason why,
• 14:08
  Speaker 6: why we calling this guy the Candy Cowboy.
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: The Candy Cowboy.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: Nah, I'm the Candy Cowboy.
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: You're the Candy Cowboy.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: Beg your pardon, beg your pardon, beg your pardon.
• 14:17
  Speaker 10: What are the many nicknames this guy has?
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: My name is Dirt Mud Horse Lasso.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: Esquire. Lord God. Dirt Mud Horse Lasso Esquire.
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: So what's the first and what's the last name? I've
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: just never been able to ask.
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: It's Dirt Mud Horse Lasso Esquire. And he's a lawyer.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: Dirt Mud, middle name, horse lasso, last name, Esquire.
• 14:43
  Speaker 8: Your last name is Esquire.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: I thought this whole time I thought you was a lawyer.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: I thought you were a lawyer. I regret representing you
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: in court that day. I wasn't qualified and I'll cop
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: to that now.
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: Like a man. I guarantee we lost that whole handedly.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: Whole-handed lawsuit. You'll get your custody back one day.
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: Listen, I was a movie.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: Cowboy of the yesteryear in the 1970s by around down then.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: Then I took a little bit of a break because
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: of the cowboy, less of those movies were made.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: They all became cocaine in Florida, Miami.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: All of a sudden. It is a shame.
• 15:29
  Speaker 7: Florida Cowboy is a different kind of cowboy. It's a
• 15:31
  Speaker 7: cowboy with flip-flops on and a weird tan.
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: A white. I ain't never been a cowboy with a
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: fan boat. Hey, how can you wear white if you're
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: a cowboy? You're going to get covered in mud by
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: the end of the day. You're going to get dirty.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: This was a white shirt originally.
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: Hey, y'all.
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: Hey, look, I feel that my career has— I've had
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: to make some choices because I had a personal, I
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: was Taylor Sheridan's bully in school.
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: Oh, tough. Finally owning it now.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: I've been cut out of the whole Yellowstone situation. Sometimes
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: he sends me all auditions as a prank, and then
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: I do them, and then he goes, it was me,
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: Taylor Sheridan. You ain't never getting that part. You hate
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: to see that. You hate to see it. So I
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: have pivoted to Christian films for financial purposes.
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: Wonderful.
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: A good, a healthy, a wealthy field.
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: You know, we don't respect that film enough. You're doing
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: the Lord's work and it's great work.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: And that's what it's called. The Lord's work is the
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: great work.
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: I saw that movie. I thought it was great. You're
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: writing an exam. You decide to go back to school
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: to prove the professor wrong.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: Thank you. Yes, that is what I do. I am
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: a cowboy, and I go back to school to prove
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: the professor wrong. And this school is full of all
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: these nasty liberal kids.
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: They got all kinds of colored hair.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: All kinds of hair. Hair every color of the rainbow.
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: Oh, wow.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: Green, orange, purple, blue.
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: It's crazy.
• 17:10
  Speaker 6: Sounds like my wife when she left a sock in
• 17:12
  Speaker 6: the washer with her wigs.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: She washes her wigs in the washer? Why she washes
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: her wigs in the washer?
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: It's not what you're thinking. They're made of wool.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: That's not what I was thinking. And is the sock,
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: is it like, so the sock is dyeing the wig's colors?
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: She left a pink sock with her gray wool wig.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: Wait, the wool, the wig is wool, so I think
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: the wool, the wig sounds like more of a sock
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: than the wig is.
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: I don't know women. I'm a cowboy.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: That's fair enough.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: Damn straight.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: Damn straight.
• 17:47
  Speaker 7: The strength of that little pink sock to make all
• 17:50
  Speaker 7: those wool gray hairs pink.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: Ain't it amazing? That's the thing about being a cowboy,
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: you know. Sometimes a little gopher can affect the whole
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: ecosystem of all the horses.
• 18:02
  Speaker 7: Speaking of David and Goliath, are you a Christian or
• 18:05
  Speaker 7: are you just doing it for the work?
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: I have decided in my best interest it would be
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: I am. On Instagram, I am Christian. And I challenge
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: you to find an Instagram account in which I am
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: not Christian.
• 18:22
  Speaker 6: Congratulations to your account for converting to Christianity.
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: That's a very big move for your Instagram account to
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: finally commit to Christianity.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: My Instagram account is found the light one day and
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: my account and my posts, they have accepted all that
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: comes with it.
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: I love some of these movie scenes about you going
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: up to some of these kids and they're talking and
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: they say something like, you don't believe in evolution. And
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: your retort when they come, it's just an amazing moment.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, I got a lot of zingers.
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: Can we watch a scene of you kind of confronting
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: these kids in college?
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, let's go ahead and play the cafeteria scene. Now,
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: this is my first.
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: Day in school.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: I am, of course, a 65-year-old man.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: Of course.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: And everyone else is 19 and has the wildest color
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: hair you could possibly imagine. So they're talking and I
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: approach them. All right, let's play the scene. Milton, say it.
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: Say God is dead.
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: Say it.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: Say it. God is dead. I'm not scared at all.
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: God is dead. Melted. God is dead. God is dead.
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: I'll say it too.
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: God's dead.
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: Jesus is stupid. He's stupid. I'm thinking about getting a
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: tail this weekend.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: Well, if Jesus is stupid, then I'll better take one
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: more test again.
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: Huh? Can we help you?
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: If Jesus is stupid... Then I guess I better throw
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: all the results of my SAT test.
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: Out the window. Old man, what are you even doing here?
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: What are you talking about?
• 19:53
  Speaker 7: I love that kid.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: What am I talking about? What I believe in.
• 19:58
  Speaker 5: I love that kid that says, say God is dead.
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: I got to focus in on what you said. This
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: was a perfect retort to these children. If Jesus is stupid,
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: then you got to throw away all your test results.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: Did you really put them in their place?
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: Break it down for me. Break it down for me.
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: Because I haven't understood what that means. But why don't
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: you break it down for me what that means for you.
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: So if Jesus is stupid, then you got to throw
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: away all your test results. If Jesus is stupid, then
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: that means the very metric by which we judge intelligence
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: has to be thrown out the window.
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: Exactly what I was thinking. Exactly.
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: I think I put those kids in their place.
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: You did.
• 20:44
  Speaker 6: And I like that show, too, because there's no justification
• 20:47
  Speaker 6: why there's an old cowboy walking around the high school.
• 20:49
  Speaker 7: And the kids just talk to him like he's been
• 20:52
  Speaker 7: there for years.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: No one has an issue with him.
• 20:55
  Speaker 5: No one asks him, why are you here?
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: Well, y'all just wait until the end of the season
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: because these kids are finally going to learn their lesson.
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: You're going to reveal why you're there at the end
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: of the season? No, that'd be great. That's not an
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: issue that came up in the writer's room. That is
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: not a problem. That didn't bump anybody.
• 21:15
  Speaker 7: Even when the parents pick up the kids, they just
• 21:17
  Speaker 7: talk to the cowboy.
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: Oh, hell, cowboy.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: So you're in high school too, huh? I think that
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: I come from a... This town is set in a
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: town that is not judgmental.
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: If your neighbor's doing something funny, you turn the other cheek.
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: And I liked when it used to be like that.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: Well, I think there's a cowboy we haven't heard from yet.
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: The strong, silent type.
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: Strong, silent type.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: Always the dark hat.
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: Always the black hat over here.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: They call him the black hat.
• 21:52
  Speaker 7: Pardon me, thought maybe we don't even get to me,
• 21:55
  Speaker 7: and maybe that'll be the most cowboy thing that happens today.
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: A living legend, but we have got to do it.
• 22:02
  Speaker 5: Do I have to introduce myself? I don't feel like it.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: I think you should introduce yourself.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: I know you need no introduction in regards to our company,
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: but to the others.
• 22:13
  Speaker 7: Well, I appreciate it. My name is Whiskey Brown.
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: Whiskey Brown.
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: Yo man i heard a song called the ballad of.
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: Whiskey brown that's this man sitting right here right next
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: to me i cannot believe i'm living legend.
• 22:35
  Speaker 7: You do one movie you do one damn movie back
• 22:39
  Speaker 7: in the day and suddenly they call you.
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: The first hollywood cowboy the first hollywood true New Age
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: Hollywood Cowboy.
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: It's amazing because you guys came up together.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: We came up together. And they call me the first Hollywood.
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: And unfortunately, he beat me out.
• 22:55
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: He beat you out. You became the first cowboy ever.
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: I mean, you were kind of the first one to
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: not be only good. There was a complexity to you
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: that was darker. People didn't know what to make of you,
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: but they were into it.
• 23:09
  Speaker 5: I'd say back in the day, it wasn't about who.
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: Was the best.
• 23:14
  Speaker 5: It was who was first.
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 23:17
  Speaker 7: And now I look at some of these pop stars,
• 23:19
  Speaker 7: some of these actors, young actors, and I go, oh,
• 23:24
  Speaker 7: they're all comparing each other. And we didn't have that
• 23:27
  Speaker 7: back in the day.
• 23:30
  Speaker 6: But that's cowboy. You stick to your own horse because
• 23:32
  Speaker 6: you got your own bucket to deal with.
• 23:34
  Speaker 7: You got your own bucket and you got your own
• 23:37
  Speaker 7: saddle and you got your own pit.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: We're all on our own journeys trying to follow it
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: and figure it out before the sun finally sets on
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: our Quiet, short lives. Short, short lives. You're such a legend.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: What was it like working with the beautiful Dolly St.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: Clair? Oh, Dolly St.
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: Clair. Oh, Dolly St. Clair, be still my heart. Oh, oh.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: That Dolly St. Clair is something special.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: May Lord rest her soul.
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she's dead.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: She's dead. She is dead.
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: Oh, she's dead.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: She's dead. She is dead, but she still makes my
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: heart beat twice.
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: And that's an alive woman.
• 24:29
  Speaker 7: That's an alive woman with an alive heart beating.
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: I see a picture.
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: I go, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's gorgeous. He's turned
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: into the yodeling cowboy. I love that.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: I yodel sometimes, too.
• 24:41
  Speaker 7: I'll tell you, nothing was like the first day I
• 24:45
  Speaker 7: set my eyes on Dolly St.
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: Clair.
• 24:48
  Speaker 7: She walked in, and this was back in the day
• 24:51
  Speaker 7: in Hollywood where you didn't do chemistry reads.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: You didn't do callbacks.
• 24:57
  Speaker 7: You met on set, and there she was in a
• 25:02
  Speaker 7: picnic dress.
• 25:03
  Speaker 5: It was a picnic dress.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: And I went, Lord.
• 25:06
  Speaker 5: Lord, is that who will be playing Sissy Barn?
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: She played the shit out of Sissy Barn. And I
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: was playing Danko Bank. Yeah, not Whiskey Brown.
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: No, Whiskey Brown's my name.
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, Dinkle Bank.
• 25:21
  Speaker 5: I was playing Dinkle Bank.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: The first cowboy, Dinkle Bank.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: Dinkle Bank and Sissy Barnum, match made in heaven.
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: And I want to set back a second.
• 25:31
  Speaker 6: If you don't know what a picnic dress is, that's
• 25:33
  Speaker 6: a dress a lady wears to a picnic that she
• 25:35
  Speaker 6: gets covered in food.
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: And boy, did we love a picnic dress back then.
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: We loved them.
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: Picnic dress made the all-time.
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: You see a woman covered in food, you know she's
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: going to cook you up something nice.
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: Oh, God.
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: I'd say it's the original wet t-shirt contest.
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: I think so.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: A big old blackberry pie. Covered in hot dog blackberry pie.
• 25:56
  Speaker 11: Oh, God.
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: Dolly St.
• 25:57
  Speaker 7: Clair, she sat on the lemon bars. She's got lemon
• 26:01
  Speaker 7: bars all up on her toots.
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: It's the people sitting on the cakes now. I'm like,
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: do you know where you come from?
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: You know where you come from. How do you know
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: your history?
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: We come from picnic dresses.
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: You have to know your history.
• 26:13
  Speaker 7: I see videos of women in Daytona with their white
• 26:16
  Speaker 7: t-shirts and their black bras.
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: And I go, you need to kiss the ground at
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: Dollar St.
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: Clair.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: Walk down. Before you do that.
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: You're doing the opposite of what we want. We want
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: you covered in more stuff so we can't see as much.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: That used to be how it worked.
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: We wanted to see less, not more. And I wanted
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: to stick my face in it and take the food away.
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: That's the goal.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: We were hungry back then.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: I said, put the cobbler on your face.
• 26:41
  Speaker 7: Put the cobbler on your bosom so I can stick
• 26:43
  Speaker 7: my face in there, eat the cobbler, and get the
• 26:45
  Speaker 7: boobies out.
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: We love a curvy woman because there's more.
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: Room to put food on your dress. And I said that.
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: I love my curvy wife. Can we all just talk
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: about how much we love our curvy wife?
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: Oh, right. Dirt mud horse class, oh, you love your
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: curvy wife.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: You got a wife?
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: Of course I got a wife.
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: Her hair's pink, remember, because of her wool wig.
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: Oh, duh. Pink hair.
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: Oh, duh.
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: Well, I'm not supposed to like that.
• 27:11
  Speaker 6: She's curvier than a mountain switchback made by a person
• 27:16
  Speaker 6: with a lazy eye.
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. Well, my wife's curvier than a train on
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: the track that's gone all broken style.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: Not broken style. Yeah, well, my wife's curvier than a
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: wave cresting on a cliff that's gone all crazy style.
• 27:36
  Speaker 7: My wife is curvier than an F1 race going up
• 27:41
  Speaker 7: and down the mountains of Canada.
• 27:43
  Speaker 8: Okay.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: That's curvy. Yeah, it's curvy. When you think about it,
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: it's actually very curvy.
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: So let's go back to the itinerary then, right? We've
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: talked about it. Italian.
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: Italian.
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: Italian.
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: West, spaghetti and all its others.
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: Do you remember that? Curvy wives.
• 28:02
  Speaker 5: Do you remember that old horse in Tennessee, itinerary?
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: Itinerary? I lost 10 times.
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: Big ones on itinerary. Ten big ones, huh?
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: Ten big ones.
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: Oh, wait.
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: Ten big ones.
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: Back in the day, that was a lot of money
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: to lose.
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: It's a lot of money to lose.
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: It's a lot of money to lose.
• 28:20
  Speaker 8: I'll say this.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: And what with these gas prices. Oh, God, don't get me.
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: Should we add it to the itinerary? Talk about the
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: gas prices.
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: Let's talk about gas prices on the itinerary.
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: So we got Cowboy Slate. Cowboy Slate.
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: We got Cowboy Slate.
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: And we'll put itinerary the horse on itinerary.
• 28:34
  Speaker 7: Itinerary.
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: And we want to do more Italian stuff. Italian stuff.
• 28:37
  Speaker 7: Oh, yeah. I'd say I want to talk about the
• 28:49
  Speaker 7: difference between a cowboy and an actor who plays a cowboy.
• 28:53
  Speaker 7: Because I meet a lot of actors who play cowboys
• 28:57
  Speaker 7: now in this day and age.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: And they've never been a cowboy a day in their life.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: North Hollywood kids who went to Michigan, University of Michigan,
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: or Chapman University. They don't know the first thing about
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: cow poking.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: I'll go see.
• 29:15
  Speaker 7: I saw True West by Sam Shepard at NYU. Playwrights Horizon,
• 29:23
  Speaker 7: someplace they call it.
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: Get rid of your V-neck and put on a spur
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: is what I keep on saying. I said, where's the dirt?
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: You walk into a cowboy audition room, you're going to
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: see a lot of Toluca Lake cowboys. Guys who are not.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: walking the walk.
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: And I think it's time to have this conversation, you know,
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: or should they, should non-cowboys be taking cowboy roles?
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: It's such a good question about appropriation versus appreciation.
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: And I think we should put it on the itinerary.
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: Let's put it on the itinerary.
• 29:58
  Speaker 7: Because I think what's so important about it is really
• 30:01
  Speaker 7: talking about it. Because I remember back in the day
• 30:03
  Speaker 7: when I first got the role of Dinky Pinky, I thought,
• 30:07
  Speaker 7: am I cowboy enough?
• 30:08
  Speaker 5: Because I grew up around cowboys. Right.
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: My daddy was a true cowboy and opposite of an actor.
• 30:14
  Speaker 9: Hmm.
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: That man could not turn it on if you tried.
• 30:17
  Speaker 7: Even when we had to say grace in front of
• 30:19
  Speaker 7: our chicken in the morning, he would not do anything
• 30:23
  Speaker 7: performative because my daddy was a cowboy.
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: Let me ask you. You know you're a cowboy when
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: you do grace in front of your chicken every morning.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: Come on. I'm sorry, but it's true. You know you're
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: a Hollywood cowboy when.
• 30:38
  Speaker 7: You look for where your mark is and it's also
• 30:42
  Speaker 7: in the dirt.
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: You know you're a Hollywood cowboy when you call your
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: snake on the phone because your snake is your agent.
• 30:52
  Speaker 7: And that's taking 10%, that snake. He taking 10%.
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: You know you're a Hollywood cowboy when instead of saying action,
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: they say draw. Ah!
• 31:07
  Speaker 7: You know you're a Hollywood cowboy when SAG-AFTRA calls you
• 31:11
  Speaker 7: looking for your dues.
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: And you say, get in the house, horsey. You're not
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: allowed inside.
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: You know you're a Hollywood cowboy when your acting coach
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: ain't Uta Haugen. It's Uta Shootin'. Yee-haw!
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: Yee-haw!
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: Yee-haw!
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: You know you're a Hollywood cowboy when your call time
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: is high noon.
• 31:31
  Speaker 6: You know you're a Hollywood cowboy when only gas prices you.
• 31:36
  Speaker 9: Worried about is how many pants you're ripping through with
• 31:39
  Speaker 9: all the farts from the food.
• 31:41
  Speaker 7: You know you're a Hollywood cowboy when your for your
• 31:46
  Speaker 7: consideration period is for your consideration.
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: Put them up. Yeah.
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: I tried. No, I really liked that one. Consideration period
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: into consideration put them up. I liked it.
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: Thank you for bringing it up, Whiskey. It is a
• 32:01
  Speaker 3: serious issue. It's a real serious issue.
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: For FYC period? FYC, yeah.
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: No, no, just kidding.
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: It's all about being a Hollywood cowboy.
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: It's different than a cowboy.
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: F-R-C-P-E-U.
• 32:14
  Speaker 8: Absolutely.
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: I grew up, I was the eighth brother out of eight.
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: I was the youngest. I was running the litter. And
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: every single other one was a cowboy.
• 32:24
  Speaker 6: They used to get up on the cattle trail and
• 32:26
  Speaker 6: go up and down and up and down. I was
• 32:28
  Speaker 6: at a broken boat in the home hanging out by myself.
• 32:32
  Speaker 6: I used to sit and wait for them to come home,
• 32:34
  Speaker 6: singing on the porch, singing little songs.
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: Little brother.
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: Waiting around?
• 32:41
  Speaker 10: When will my brothers come down from the mountains?
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: Good God, that was the best thing I've ever heard.
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: I'm crying.
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: I love your brother album.
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: Brother album is so touching.
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: I got a song about every brother.
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: I love Malcolm the most. I love the song Malcolm.
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: Big Malcolm, won't you come on down from the mountain?
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: It's all another the same theme.
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: And Malcolm was the oldest, right? That's why he was big.
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: But it always got me because you never knew if
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: Big Malcolm was going to come down from the mountain.
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: And they did not.
• 33:19
  Speaker 5: What about your brother?
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: Do you ever find him?
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: Sorry?
• 33:23
  Speaker 3: What?
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: He never came down? You know, back in the day.
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: If someone went away, you just didn't know.
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: But then.
• 33:30
  Speaker 5: If they went away, you didn't know.
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you'd look for them and then try to find them.
• 33:33
  Speaker 3: Nobody told them, and they'd go away.
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: And you just say about it.
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: I just read an article that a lot of your
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: brothers ended up joining Moulin Rouge.
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Now, where'd you see that article?
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: Now, where'd you see that article? Cowboy Monthly.
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: I think I read it on Death, the Dead Valley Live.
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: Can we talk about this? Is this on the itinerary?
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: I think I.
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: Read it on Vanity Country Fair.
• 34:01
  Speaker 6: Well, I won't talk about the death of the newspaper
• 34:03
  Speaker 6: because what's happening is they're hiring these freelance people writing
• 34:06
  Speaker 6: about Moulin.
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: Rouge, putting it in the cowboy papers.
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: I don't care about that.
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: Put it in the Moulin Rouge paper.
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: Put it in the Moulin Rouge paper.
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: Get your own paper get out get all right you
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: got cowboy here here's the thing you know here's the
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: thing and i got a question for you if you
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: have advice for young cowboy actors trying to make it
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: what would you tell them You know, because there's different
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: things you got to look for. I know that cowboy
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: headshots require a different look, you know. I hear from
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: these commercial actors, you know, they want you to look quirky,
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: bright light, like approachable friend.
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: But cowboy headshots.
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: You got to go to a whole different Kinko's, get
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: that thing sepia-toned.
• 34:53
  Speaker 6: You got to get a tintype photograph. You got to
• 34:55
  Speaker 6: go to one of those places that has the old-timey photos.
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: If it don't say wanted on the bottom, it ain't
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: going to take it. It ain't a cowboy headshot.
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: If it don't say wanted 5200.
• 35:05
  Speaker 3: But that's a good advice for any actor, to be honest.
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: Put wanted on the bottom so they know that other
• 35:11
  Speaker 3: people want you.
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true.
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: Dead or alive.
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, dead or alive.
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: I'll do this role, dead or alive.
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: I'd say dead or alive, SAG eligible. SAG-y.
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: SAG-y.
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: SAG-y.
• 35:23
  Speaker 7: I heard some of these commercial actors, sometimes they'll put
• 35:26
  Speaker 7: some scrubs or a blue, like a Best Buy T-shirt,
• 35:31
  Speaker 7: a collared shirt, or a red, like Allstate shirt in
• 35:34
  Speaker 7: their trunk.
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: Add a cowboy hat back there.
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: Add a cowboy hat.
• 35:37
  Speaker 7: There's nothing stopping you from adding a cowboy hat in
• 35:40
  Speaker 7: that pile of shit.
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: I keep a button-down shirt in the back of my
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: car that has a gunshot wound in it.
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: Oh, wow.
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: Just in case it's a scene where if I'm looking
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: to get shot. There you go.
• 35:50
  Speaker 3: Hey, if you want to be a cowboy, stop taking showers.
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: Stop it.
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: It's an easy thing, y'all.
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: There's a thing called dry shampoo. It does wonders for
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: a cowboy. I put it in my fucking crotch. I
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: put it on my socks.
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: Directly on my socks.
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: If you ain't putting dry shampoo on your crotch, I mean,
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: you ain't been on the ranch.
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: You're green, boy.
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: You are not a real cowboy. Because cowboy culture is
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: a lot tied with pioneer culture. But I want to
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: make one thing clear. We are not gold hunters. We
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: are not gold hunters. We were... in the American West
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: to grab farming land and work the fields of our cows.
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: That's where cowboy comes from.
• 36:39
  Speaker 5: Thank you for getting that done and settled.
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: I needed to say it.
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: You need to get that out there.
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: I needed to say it.
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: Some people try and call cowboys gold diggers. You can't
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: say that for us.
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: Now, we might be gold diggers personally. I'm married for money.
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: I'm married for money. My curvy wife has family funds.
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: And how curvy is she?
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: My curvy wife is so curvy. If you tried to
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: draw an S in her presence, she'd be like, well,
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: I already got that covered. I already got that covered.
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: When you're writing and you write an S. Your wife
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: is coming up and saying, well, I already got that covered.
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: I already got that covered. She dressed her to her.
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: Body, which looks like 17S.
• 37:27
  Speaker 3: That's how curvy she is.
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: I heard she works on all the stop signs in town.
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: That's incredible.
• 37:33
  Speaker 7: I love that you're just trying to write an S down,
• 37:35
  Speaker 7: and she says, look at my body and shit.
• 37:38
  Speaker 3: That's beautiful.
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: It's a beautiful thing. It's a beautiful thing. Your wife
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: seems medically unwell if she's that curvy, though, I want
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: to say.
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: Medically unwell. Oh, you're just jealous. That sounds like growths
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: on her.
• 37:50
  Speaker 6: Sounds like scoliosis to me.
• 37:53
  Speaker 7: If you got every man talking to you saying your
• 37:55
  Speaker 7: wife looks unwell.
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: That's just jealousy.
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: That's just jealousy.
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: Every cowboy is lining up to measure my curvy wife's spine,
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: and I won't let them. I know that's how it starts.
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: They go claiming scoliosis. You go claiming envy and jealousy, monster.
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: Jealousy. Jealousy.
• 38:17
  Speaker 3: Oh, Poopy Whoopie sang a song about jellyosis.
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: Let's hear it.
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: Let's hear it.
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: Jellyosis.
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: Jellyosis. Stay away from my cowgirl jellyosis. Jellyosis. I like it.
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: It has a pop ring to it. It's a little
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: bit rock and roll.
• 38:32
  Speaker 3: That's when Chuck Berry came on the show.
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: Chuck Berry, a living legend. Living legend. Cowboy of rock
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: and roll, I would say.
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: Cowboy of rock and roll. Film people going to the bathroom.
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: That's real. I did not know that.
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: No.
• 38:42
  Speaker 6: Always great it's so sad as an old cowboy to
• 38:46
  Speaker 6: see all your friends and realize.
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: Let's talk about how can we have an in memoriam
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: for all our friends that have been canceled.
• 38:53
  Speaker 7: There is nothing faster than the cancellation of an actor
• 38:56
  Speaker 7: who plays a cowboy absolutely you guys are fast on
• 38:59
  Speaker 7: it we are just basically waiting to be on a
• 39:02
  Speaker 7: hot mic saying something bad oh yeah i'll.
• 39:05
  Speaker 10: Kick it off cowboy canceled in memoriam Old Skippy Layback
• 39:11
  Speaker 10: 2012 said a really bad word.
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: Old Two Hats Johnson 2018 said a really bad word.
• 39:27
  Speaker 7: Flappy Boston Tipper. said a bad word. Pappy O'Houlihan did
• 39:37
  Speaker 7: a really bad thing.
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: Dusty Cleghorn.
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: Pushed a woman off a boat?
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: Question mark. It wasn't confirmed.
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: Not confirmed. Pending cancellation. Jennifer Two Spurs McGee smelled a
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: really bad thing.
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: And that's the thing with cowgirls. They can get canceled
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: for smelling that.
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: Smell a bad thing.
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: For smelling that thing.
• 40:07
  Speaker 6: That's tough.
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: There's a double standard for women.
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: She smelled the murder. Yeah.
• 40:13
  Speaker 7: Johnny Button Time. Didn't like getting loved. So he smacked
• 40:21
  Speaker 7: the snap guy in the face.
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: That's going to be a cancellation. Shane Dirt Johnson was
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: found at a club with 17-year-old women.
• 40:36
  Speaker 5: Saying a really bad word.
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: Saying a real bad word.
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: Donnie Shadow, money laundering.
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: That's canceled by the courts.
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: That's canceled by the courts and the law. By the law.
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: The law.
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: Wheat Thin Double Hat Gopher. Wheat Thin Double Hat Gopher.
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: Did a really bad thing 24 times.
• 41:05
  Speaker 8: Yikes.
• 41:05
  Speaker 5: Can only imagine what that could be.
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: Well, we're still here.
• 41:13
  Speaker 3: Kylie was just telling me the funniest thing.
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: It's the funniest thing. You can become a Patreon member
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: and hear more about our lives, the episodes, and other
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: fun things we're doing on the side.
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: Isn't that hilarious?
• 41:25
  Speaker 3: Isn't that just a trip?
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: And isn't that so like us?
• 41:29
  Speaker 4: For $ 3 to $ 5 to $ 10 a month, we literally
• 41:31
  Speaker 4: will do all that kind of stuff on Patreon.
• 41:34
  Speaker 3: You can join us.
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: And we have merch.
• 41:38
  Speaker 9: You know, we actually have a piece of merch that
• 41:40
  Speaker 9: was voted on by the patrons that we made in
• 41:44
  Speaker 9: real life. It's a set of AirPod headphones covers that say,
• 41:49
  Speaker 9: if these fuckers is empty, I'm listening to A-O-A-O-A-O-A.
• 41:52
  Speaker 3: So you gotta get on.
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: The Patreon because I think that's pretty funny.
• 41:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you guys are doing some funny stuff and we're
• 41:59
  Speaker 4: loving it too.
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: And we're loving it. Where are those hats from? They're
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: from artists on artists on artists on artists.com.
• 42:07
  Speaker 3: That's right.
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: We call this ad a two for one.
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: Enjoy the rest of the ad.
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: Have y'all ever done anything on set? We're dying breed.
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: We're going to extinction.
• 42:22
  Speaker 3: Have y'all ever.
• 42:22
  Speaker 7: Done anything on set where you worry, am I having
• 42:26
  Speaker 7: too much of an attitude? Because I feel the older
• 42:29
  Speaker 7: I get and the more famous I am, people act like,
• 42:33
  Speaker 7: like I'm going to bust a nut.
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: I'm just waiting to be canceled. I'm waiting.
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: Well, I heard you got into some hot water because
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: you put a horse in your rider and then you
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: didn't like the horse.
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: I think my horse is here today.
• 42:47
  Speaker 3: Bessie, say hello.
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: Hi there.
• 42:52
  Speaker 11: Hi.
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: That's a good horse. That's a good horse to say hello.
• 42:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I love when my horse says hello.
• 42:58
  Speaker 7: I got a little, I did a small spot on Euphoria.
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: I saw this. Season three, the American West.
• 43:10
  Speaker 3: I love Euphoria and only season three.
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: The American West season was amazing.
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: Finally, they got it right.
• 43:16
  Speaker 7: Yeah, they had me come on for a cameo or
• 43:19
  Speaker 7: whatever you call it.
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: What was the scene you did?
• 43:24
  Speaker 5: I think Rue was on a walk, a depression walk.
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: Can we get it? If Rue does one more depression
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: walk in Euphoria.
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: We've got to show.
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: Her something else.
• 43:35
  Speaker 7: She's on a depression walk, and I'm sitting on a
• 43:39
  Speaker 7: field across the way, and I'm smoking, and I go,
• 43:43
  Speaker 7: you've been through a lot, huh?
• 43:46
  Speaker 5: And Rue doesn't say anything.
• 43:47
  Speaker 7: And I go, takes a journey to see a journey
• 43:50
  Speaker 7: and recognize a journey in the face.
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: That's Death Valley. That's the scene. But anyway, I said
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: I need a horse. And that's Bessie. Well, you done
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: got a horse. You done got a horse. Beautiful lines.
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: Beautiful words. In this new age, they won't let me
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: near a mic. Are you guys doing gigs right now? Yeah,
• 44:13
  Speaker 2: I'm on Dirt Guy. Yeah, Dirt Guy. Dirt Guy is
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: going great. But they won't let you near it. Well,
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: when I'm sitting up, I tend to get angry at
• 44:21
  Speaker 2: all the people around me for anything that they're doing
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: because I just want to shoot out and get back
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: to my ranch. But they want to do the hair
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: and the makeup and the love.
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: I mean, these are all job requirements, I unfortunately have
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: to say.
• 44:40
  Speaker 7: And that video that went kind of viral of, You
• 44:43
  Speaker 7: screaming at the HMU, people.
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: Well, HMU, you better back off before I shoot you.
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: Could we play it?
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: Come here, honey.
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: Honey, honey.
• 44:54
  Speaker 5: We're just trying to clean.
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: Hey, everybody chill for a second, okay? You back off,
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: you back off, and you back off. I don't need
• 45:02
  Speaker 2: no hair and makeup.
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: I'm a man.
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: I don't do that, okay? What is this? Dirt boy? No,
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: this is dirt guy.
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: Honey, you got literal shit on your face.
• 45:11
  Speaker 2: I don't care.
• 45:12
  Speaker 5: We're just worried that there's literal feces.
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: It's fine. I'd put it there myself to dirt me up.
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: Just a little dirt and grime on my face. I
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: didn't know I was picking up poop. That was an accident.
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: I picked up some dirt, rubbed it on my face. Yeah,
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: it got a little poop on it. I didn't see
• 45:30
  Speaker 2: the dog poop there. But we're going to leave it there,
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: or we're going to shoot out, okay? Wait, sweetheart, did
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: you really just try to get dirt from the ground? No,
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: shut up, shut up. I tried to get dirt on
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: the ground, tried to dirt myself up to look like
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: a real cowboy. I picked up some poop, actually, and
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: rubbed it all over my face.
• 45:45
  Speaker 3: I heard you gave Naomi Wassey E.
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: Coli. I did give her E.
• 45:49
  Speaker 8: Coli.
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: She was sick for a week and a half.
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: It's so embarrassing.
• 45:52
  Speaker 5: You put poop on your face trying to look like
• 45:54
  Speaker 5: a man.
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: And, you know, sometimes you do that as a cowboy.
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: You try to dirt yourself up, you're rolling in poop.
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: What did the poop look like when you picked it? Like,
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: did it look like poop? Was it like a chunk
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: you picked up?
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: You want to know the details of the poop I
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: picked up?
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's cowboys sitting around a table.
• 46:10
  Speaker 3: Sorry, this is cowboy stuff. Cowboys being cowboys.
• 46:14
  Speaker 8: I'm sorry.
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: I was raised on a farm. This stuff is my
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: own church.
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: It was a dog. Somebody had walked their dog maybe
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: 10 minutes before and decided to not pick it up
• 46:22
  Speaker 2: but kick some dirt over it. So when I went
• 46:25
  Speaker 2: to go grab the dirt, it was fresh.
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: Well, it did look like dirt.
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: I can understand that. Thank you.
• 46:30
  Speaker 3: I got a very exciting show coming up. We're doing
• 46:33
  Speaker 3: on PBS.
• 46:34
  Speaker 6: We're doing a retrospective of the Randall Gentry Hour 100th anniversary.
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 46:40
  Speaker 10: Good God.
• 46:40
  Speaker 5: You've been doing that show for.
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: A long time.
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: Oh, sorry.
• 46:43
  Speaker 11: 50th.
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: 50th anniversary. Wow.
• 46:45
  Speaker 3: I always double every number in my head.
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: Well, do you remember? So you are 112.
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: I'm 112 years old.
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: Young.
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: Young.
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: And you can still yodel like a 20-year-old. Yes, I can.
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: Any fun guests you got on that?
• 47:03
  Speaker 3: We got a lot of fun guests. I think Dolores
• 47:06
  Speaker 3: Dancy Wample is coming.
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: No, Dolores Dancy Wample.
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: We got the Fingal Sisters.
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: Not the Fingal Sisters. Oh, I don't trust them as far.
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: We got Sandy Patch and the Dusty Ducks.
• 47:18
  Speaker 6: Dickheads those dickheads make my heart go whoa make my
• 47:26
  Speaker 6: heart skip a.
• 47:27
  Speaker 10: Beat mary lou williamson's coming out and she's singing with
• 47:31
  Speaker 10: me the sun never sets on the wild west.
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: Beautiful woman and a beautiful song mary lou williamson let.
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: Me have some of that pie let me have some
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: of that pie i'd like.
• 47:43
  Speaker 6: To see her in a picnic dress And then I'm
• 47:45
  Speaker 6: going to be giving my body to AI at the end.
• 47:48
  Speaker 3: What? What? I'm giving it away so I can live forever.
• 47:51
  Speaker 2: Giving your body to AI. Giving my body to AI.
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: How does that even work?
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: Hold on, hold on, hold on.
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: You're going to scan the whole flesh?
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: You know, I'm actually saying something. I don't think that's
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: a hat. I think that's excess skin.
• 48:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, this is my skin tag.
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: Yikes.
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: You pulled everything back to look all tight.
• 48:08
  Speaker 3: Got to stay young in the face.
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: Is that what all that tape is back there?
• 48:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's called Cowboy Remedy to stay young.
• 48:17
  Speaker 2: Cowboy Remedy to stay young.
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: It's tape? It's tape. It's neck tape. Don't give your
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: body to AI.
• 48:23
  Speaker 7: Listen, I'm a cowboy. We're all cowboys here. I think
• 48:26
  Speaker 7: we can all agree. You can't trust a computer on
• 48:29
  Speaker 7: the road.
• 48:29
  Speaker 2: No, you don't want to be doing AI. You want
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: to be doing, aye, aye, aye.
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: Aye, pow, pow, pow, pow. You know, I don't trust
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: a computer to do anything a horse can.
• 48:40
  Speaker 2: I totally agree.
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: Whatever you need.
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: A computer to do, a horse can do it. I
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: got my horse sitting in all my emails.
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: My horse is filing my taxes.
• 48:52
  Speaker 7: I told my horse, you fix the direct deposit with Ratbuck.
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: I ain't doing it.
• 48:56
  Speaker 3: But ain't y'all sad? The idea that we can go
• 48:59
  Speaker 3: away forever? The idea we can go off into the
• 49:01
  Speaker 3: sunset and we never come back?
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: I think it's sadder they ain't made a keyboard for
• 49:04
  Speaker 2: a horse's hooves.
• 49:07
  Speaker 7: I think the worst thing in the world is a
• 49:08
  Speaker 7: cowboy who fears death. And the fact that you fear
• 49:11
  Speaker 7: death and you fear that beautiful white light we walk
• 49:15
  Speaker 7: closer to every day is a sad thing. Because I
• 49:18
  Speaker 7: know when I walk towards that light, the stronger I am,
• 49:22
  Speaker 7: the more afraid of death I'm not. And the more
• 49:25
  Speaker 7: cowboy I am.
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: You got me thinking about my own mortality.
• 49:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 49:35
  Speaker 7: When I walk towards that light, I'm seeing Dolly St.
• 49:37
  Speaker 7: Clair with all that chicken wing lemon bar custard all
• 49:43
  Speaker 7: over her dress and i'm sticking.
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: My mouth custard now when you look into that white
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: light what do you see do you see a higher power.
• 49:54
  Speaker 7: I see dolly st claire a bunch of shit on
• 49:56
  Speaker 7: her body and i'm cleaning it up.
• 49:59
  Speaker 2: Now okay are you because Are you thinking, do you see?
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: When you look into that white light, what do you see?
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: Because I know what your Instagram sees.
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: I know what my Instagram sees, but now I'm starting
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: to wonder, what if I see it too? God damn it.
• 50:14
  Speaker 5: Your Instagram's Christian, so are you.
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: My Instagram account may be on to something.
• 50:20
  Speaker 2: Well, close your eyes and look into the white light.
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: Tell us what you done see.
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: I look into the white light. I see.
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: Oh, Zoe.
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: Old Sandy Buttons with an apple cobbler over her chest.
• 50:37
  Speaker 3: How curvy is she?
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: She curvier than a spaghetti on a loop-de-loop ride. Yeah,
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: close your eyes now.
• 50:44
  Speaker 2: What do you see, Spike? Close your eyes. Look into
• 50:47
  Speaker 2: the light and I see, oh my lordy, I see
• 50:52
  Speaker 2: Ophelia DeGraw.
• 50:53
  Speaker 11: Oh!
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: The best feat I've ever seen.
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: Wowee, she is.
• 50:59
  Speaker 11: Currrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr City Slicker, you better get that car out of here.
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: Don't hit Ophelia now.
• 51:18
  Speaker 2: Get out of the road.
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: Don't hit Ophelia. Get out of the road.
• 51:23
  Speaker 11: Ophelia.
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: Ophelia. Run, Ophelia.
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: The Jalopy's lost.
• 51:27
  Speaker 3: Control, Ophelia. Get out of the way.
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: Oh, no, go.
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: He sees the light.
• 51:32
  Speaker 7: Oh, Ophelia.
• 51:33
  Speaker 8: Oh, God.
• 51:33
  Speaker 3: Ophelia, come to me. Ophelia, Ophelia, Ophelia.
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: Ophelia, come to me.
• 51:36
  Speaker 3: Come to me.
• 51:37
  Speaker 2: Come to me.
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: Ophelia.
• 51:38
  Speaker 2: I've killed a woman.
• 51:40
  Speaker 3: The road is too curvy I couldn't see behind the
• 51:42
  Speaker 3: black corners.
• 51:43
  Speaker 8: Oh I couldn't see him. It's not my fault. You
• 52:06
  Speaker 8: got to understand, it's not my fault.
• 52:08
  Speaker 2: Hey, hey, open your eyes.
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: Go there, go there, go there.
• 52:10
  Speaker 3: Open your eyes.
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: What the hell was that?
• 52:13
  Speaker 2: Now, that's what I call a yee-haw.
• 52:17
  Speaker 3: And you know what that is right there?
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: That's a cowboy slate. That's a cowboy slate. Will and Dat.
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: This has been Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: Answering the Question.
• 52:31
  Speaker 2: Now that's what they call it.
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: Show this.
• 52:34
  Speaker 4: Live from the beautiful Dynasty Typewriter.
• 52:39
  Speaker 2: What a blast. Come to our Patreon. We're going to
• 52:41
  Speaker 2: be talking about cowboys all day long. We'll see you soon. Bessie,
• 52:45
  Speaker 2: say goodbye.
• 52:49
  Speaker 5: I don't know if you heard that.
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: Bye.
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: Bye.
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists is an improvised
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: Hollywood roundtable podcast created and hosted by Kylie Brakeman, Jeremy Colhane,
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: Angela Giratana, and Patrick McDonald.
• 53:03
  Speaker 2: It is a.
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: Production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartMedia Podcasts.
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: Executive produced by Matt Apodaca and produced by Alexandra Dennis
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: and Laser Vision Productions. Music by Gabriel Ponton and edited
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: by Connor McCain. Thumbnail art is by Josh Fleury, and
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: logo design is by Lucy Tomkiewicz. Special thanks to Samuel
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: Curtis and the beautiful Dynasty Typewriter Theater. The opinions expressed
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: on this podcast do not reflect the opinions of anyone
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: who works on it, not even the performers, because this
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: is an improvised podcast and we don't know what the
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: heck we're talking about. Full video versions of AOAOAOA are
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: available on YouTube, so please like and subscribe and leave
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: us a five-star review wherever you get your podcasts. That's
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: all for now. Good night, Hollywood!