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5: When You're In a Toxic Workplace (Dr. Meryl Herr) · Finding God at Work

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(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Hi, I'm Chris.
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This is Finding God at Work.
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Just a reminder that Finding God at Work
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isn't just a podcast, it's also an online
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course.
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Check it out at findinggodatwork.org.
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Our current series is Divine Disappointments, Facing Pain
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and Sorrow at Work.
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In our last episode, we looked at the
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pain of being stuck in a job that
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you're overqualified for or locked out from a
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job that you really would be qualified for.
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In this episode, I want to talk about
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the related issue of what about when your
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boss underestimates you?
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So I went to that fountain of human
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complaint Reddit, the social media platform, and went
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to the subreddit Managed by Narcissists and found
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this post from a couple years ago.
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The user wrote, I've been at my company
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for a little over a year, and have
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been working at my industry for many years.
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I'm not entry-level, and it's ridiculous how
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my boss always makes subtle and non-subtle
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jabs at me, insinuating that I don't have
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experience or know what we do here, as
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if I'm clueless and stupid and need training
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or something of which I definitely do not.
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I have more experience than my boss and
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he knows it.
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Ugh, don't you just feel for this person?
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More experience than their boss and he knows
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it like, I've been there, right?
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Not with a boss this cruel.
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This boss is clearly not just underestimating the
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employee but even berating them.
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But I've definitely been in the position of
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feeling like my boss didn't fully understand what
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I was capable of.
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My boss didn't recognize my qualifications or understand
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my skill set or see how they were
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relevant to the projects at hand.
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Maybe you've been there too.
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It's a really deeply frustrating place to be.
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And the question we're asking in this series
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is when we face that kind of deep
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frustration, when we face this pain in our
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work, how do we offer it to Jesus
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and let him redeem it so it can
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become a place of spiritual growth and mission
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to others?
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Spiritual growth and mission to others.
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Okay, so there's a couple opportunities here.
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This dynamic of being underestimated by your boss
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is very similar to the dynamic we talked
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about in the last episode, seeing the same
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opportunities are there.
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The opportunity for greater intimacy with Jesus, for
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growing in humility, for growing in faithful patience.
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Those opportunities are all there when your boss
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underestimates you too.
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But I think in addition to those, because
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of the interpersonal nature where you're not just
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frustrated by a situation but frustrated with a
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particular person, is that there's two more opportunities
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here.
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There's the opportunity for Christ-like self-advocacy
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and the opportunity for letting love overcome resentment.
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Christ-like self-advocacy and letting love overcome
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resentment.
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Okay, so let's start with self-advocacy.
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At first blush, it might seem like the
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idea of self-advocacy contradicts the virtue of
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humility, right?
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In our Romans 12 passage we saw Paul,
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right, be willing to associate with those of
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low position or be willing to do menial
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work.
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If we're willing to do menial work with
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doing self-advocacy, asking to be able to
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do a different or more honored kind of
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work contradicts that spirit of humility.
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And that's a really good question.
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The question is how do we do self
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-advocacy in a Christ-like way?
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And I want to go to a specific
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example of this in the Apostle Paul.
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I think the Apostle Paul gives us a
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great image of what Christ-like self-advocacy
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can be like.
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So this comes from the book of Acts.
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This is Acts chapter 24.
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It's a longer passage, but I want to
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read the whole thing because it gives more
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of the nuance of how Paul is expressing
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himself.
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And the context here is that Paul has
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been arrested, he's in prison, he's facing various
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government authorities that are sort of weighing in
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on his case, and his accusers are fellow
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Jewish leaders who disagree with him about the
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person of Jesus, and so believe he's stirring
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up trouble by encouraging the way of Jesus.
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So that brings us to the beginning of
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chapter 24.
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When the governor motioned for him to speak,
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Paul replied, I know that for a number
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of years you have been a judge over
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this nation, so I gladly make my defense.
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You can easily verify that no more than
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12 years ago I went up to Jerusalem
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to worship.
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My accusers did not find me arguing with
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anyone at the temple, or stirring up a
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crowd in the synagogues, or anywhere else in
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the city, and they cannot prove to you
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the charges they are now making against me.
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However, I admit that I worship the God
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of our ancestors as a follower of the
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way which they call a sect.
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I believe everything that is in accordance with
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the law, and that is written in the
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prophets, and I have the same hope in
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God as these men themselves have, that there
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will be a resurrection of both the righteous
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and the wicked.
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So I strive always to keep my conscience
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clear before God and man.
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After an absence of several years I came
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to Jerusalem to bring my people gifts for
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the poor, and to present offerings.
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I was ceremonially clean when they found me
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in the temple courts doing this.
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There was no crowd with me, nor was
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I involved in any disturbance.
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But there are some Jews from the province
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of Asia who ought to be here before
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you and bring charges if they have anything
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against me.
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Or these who are here should state what
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crime they found in me when I stood
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before the Sanhedrin, unless it was this one
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thing I shouted as I stood in their
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presence.
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It is concerning the resurrection of the dead
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that I am on trial before you today.
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Then Felix, who was well acquainted with the
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way, adjourned the proceedings.
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When Lysias the commander comes, he said, I
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will decide your case.
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He ordered the Sanhedrin to keep Paul under
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guard, but to give him freedom and permit
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his friends to take care of his needs.
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Several days later, Felix came with his wife
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Drusilla, who was Jewish.
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He sent for Paul and listened to him
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as he spoke about faith in Christ Jesus.
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As Paul talked about righteousness, self-control, and
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the judgment to come, Felix was afraid and
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said, that's enough for now.
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You may leave.
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When I find it convenient, I will send
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for you.
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At the same time, he was hoping Paul
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would offer him a bribe, so he sent
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for him frequently and talked with him.
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When two years had passed, Felix was succeeded
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by Porcius Festus, but because Felix wanted to
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grant a favor to the Jews, he left
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Paul in prison.
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Okay, what did Paul do in this passage?
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Paul has been essentially falsely accused.
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What's his response?
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His response is not to be a pushover,
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not to just roll over and take whatever
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is being thrown at him, but rather to
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make a kind of full-throated defense for
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his own character.
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So you see what he does.
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He appeals to the facts of the case.
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When he talks with Felix, he says, they
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cannot prove to you the charges they are
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now making against me.
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Then he also talks about his beliefs and
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his convictions.
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He says, you know, I have the same
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hope in God that these men themselves have,
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that there will be a resurrection of both
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the righteous and the wicked.
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So I strive always to keep my conscience
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clear before God and man.
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He's describing his own character.
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So he's appealing to the facts of the
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case, and he's describing his own character.
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And this is what he's doing, knowing that
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he is an emissary of Jesus Christ, a
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representative of Jesus the Messiah, in this ongoing
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dispute that's now involving both Jews and Gentiles
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and different authorities, etc.
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He believes the best thing he can do
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to serve the purposes of God is to
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defend his own character by appealing to the
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facts and describing his character accurately.
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I think that's a really compelling example of
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Christ-like self-advocacy.
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Paul realizes it's not going to be good
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for the purposes of God for me to
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admit anything false.
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It's not going to be good for the
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purposes of God for me to go along
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with these false accusations against me.
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I should engage the conflict and I should
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do it with full honesty and with a
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straightforward account of who I am and what
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I'm about.
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So I think an application for us would
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be if we're in a situation where our
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boss underestimates us, is there an opportunity to
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engage the conflict, to go talk to our
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boss about what we see or what we
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feel we're qualified for, to actually represent ourselves
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and our character forthrightly, to appeal to the
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facts of the case and to the reality
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of our own character in straightforward terms.
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That sometimes is the most Christ-like thing
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to do.
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That doesn't have to be motivated by pride
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or anything sinful.
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It can be the best way for you
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to work towards doing the best job you
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can.
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It's better for the mission of your organization
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for you to be able to add more
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value to the team by doing work that's
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more commensurate with your skill set.
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So if you can engage the conflict directly
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in order to do better work, that doesn't
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have to be a selfish thing.
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That can be a Christ-like thing.
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That can be a way of serving the
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purposes of God in the mission of your
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workplace.
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So just want to commend that.
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That we shouldn't have our ideas backwards about
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what humility means.
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Humility does not mean you never advocate for
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yourself.
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Humility does not mean that you somehow put
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yourself down or refuse to speak about your
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qualifications.
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Humility is about recognizing the truth about who
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you are in the light of God's grace.
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Pride thinks that we accomplish things by ourselves.
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Humility recognizes whatever I'm able to accomplish, it's
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by God's grace.
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Of course humility has other dimensions as well,
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but just for self- advocacy there's a
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way to do it that is Christ-like,
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that is humble, but that's also confident.
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So consider that.
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If that's your situation, is there an opportunity
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to engage the conflict?
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Again, depending on your workplace, depending on your
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boss, there may be more or less opportunity,
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but if there is, that could really be
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worthwhile.
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Okay, but that brings us to our second
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opportunity, which is letting love overcome resentment.
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Even though Paul advocated for himself in very
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eloquent terms appropriately, did it seem to do
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him any good in his circumstances?
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Not really!
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Felix left him in prison, and Felix also
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was corrupt.
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He was looking for a bribe from Paul.
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He was not actually administering things for the
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cause of justice.
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When he moves on to another position, he
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leaves Paul in prison as a favor to
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the Jews.
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So this guy is is corrupt, he's making
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decisions based on political motivations rather than on
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what's really just.
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Okay, and how does Paul respond?
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If I was in Paul's situation, I would
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be really resentful towards Felix.
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But what does Paul do?
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Paul loves Felix.
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Paul does what's good for Felix, right?
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So Felix is familiar with the way of
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Jesus, perhaps because of his Jewish wife, and
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so they have this conversation with Paul, and
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it says that he listened as Paul spoke
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about faith in Christ Jesus, righteousness, self-control,
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and the judgment to come.
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So Paul, while he's in this situation, is
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willing to essentially evangelize Felix to proclaim the
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good news to Felix, to say, here's what
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it means to put your faith in Jesus
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and to become his follower.
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Now, Felix isn't all about it.
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Felix doesn't have a lot of openness to
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that, so he shuts the conversation down.
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You wonder, though, what was a seed planted
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there?
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Maybe something with Felix's wife.
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But Paul, in the moment, he's being apostolic
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missionary.
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Paul, he's like, here's another human being who
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can hear the good news of Jesus Christ.
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I'm gonna love that human being by sharing
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the good news with them.
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Okay, so the situation, the application for us
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may also be very similar.
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Sometimes you advocate for yourself, sometimes you do
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your darndest to get to a better place,
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and guess what?
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Your circumstances are still compromised.
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You're still stuck in the job that you're
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overqualified for.
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Your boss still underestimates you, and the temptation
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there is to just feel so much resentment
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toward the boss who underestimates you.
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If they could just see who you really
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were and what you're really capable of, things
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could be so much better, and yet what's
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the opportunity?
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The opportunity is to let love overcome resentment.
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Instead of stewing in resentment, to ask, how
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can I love my boss in this situation,
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with all of its limitations?
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How can I love them?
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How can I seek their good?
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And this is a countercultural and counterintuitive approach.
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On that Managed by Narcissist subreddit, I doubt
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there's too many people asking, how do you
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love your narcissistic boss?
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Nobody thinks that way in our culture.
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When you're aggrieved, you hang on to your
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grievance, and you feel resentment, and you seek
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to get one over on the other person,
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or at least to get to a better
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situation.
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And of course, there's nothing wrong with getting
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to a better situation when God opens up
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that opportunity.
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But for as long as you are in
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your current situation, how can you love everyone
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around you, including the boss who underestimates you?
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And I think we get here to something
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else in Romans chapter 12, starting in verse
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17.
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Hear how he's speaking to this possible circumstance
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of resentment.
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Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome
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evil with good.
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Sometimes a bad boss or a boss who
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underestimates us can feel like an enemy, but
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then our call as disciples of Jesus is
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to love our enemies.
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If your enemy is hungry, feed him.
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If he is thirsty, give him something to
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drink.
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That's how God accomplishes his purposes through us
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as his disciples in that particular work situation.
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So think about that.
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How can you love your boss in the
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most practical terms?
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How can you give your boss something to
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drink, so to speak?
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Maybe literally.
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Maybe, maybe if you're swinging by Starbucks on
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the way to work, ask if your boss
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wants something.
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Now that could be seen as round-nosing,
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right?
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You got to figure out a way to
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do it that's authentic.
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But think about that.
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And sometimes it's helpful even to remind yourself
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to think about that.
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I do this.
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I think I've mentioned I do this.
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I put spiritual reminders into my project management
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software, the same software that I use to
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manage my tasks for work.
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I'll have a little reminder in there, like,
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encourage so-and-so.
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Can you put a reminder in there?
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Encourage your boss.
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The last thing we think about when someone
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annoys us is how we can praise them
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for something they're doing well.
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But I bet your boss, as flawed as
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they are, is doing something well.
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Can you ask God to give you insight
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into that and to speak a genuine word
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of encouragement to your boss to love and
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support them, to thank them for something they've
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done for you on the team?
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In doing this, you keep burning coals on
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his head.
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You participate in the purposes and the justice
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of God, even in the frustration you're in
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the middle of.
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So that's how we face a boss who
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underestimates us.
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We can engage the conflict with them, ask
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for more responsibility, ask for a different role,
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advocate for ourselves in a Christ-like manner.
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And even when that doesn't work, we can
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love them.
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No matter how frustrating our work is or
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our boss is, there's always an opportunity to
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love.
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Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome
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evil with good.
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Lord Jesus, thank you that love is always
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possible, even loving our enemies, even loving those
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people that really frustrate us.
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We ask for your grace to love our
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bosses with all their foibles and flaws.
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Do your work in us as we do
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our work with you.
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Amen.
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Thanks for listening.
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