Latest / Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive / February 8, 2022 | Expresso - Margy Brown

Transcript

February 8, 2022 | Expresso - Margy Brown · Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Margie, you wanna come on up?
• 0:04
  unknown: Okay.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: My parents were excuse me.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Max and Marjorie McCready.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Dad enjoyed telling s jokes and stories and playing pranks on people.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Mom was a very compassionate woman with a more serious side, but she could be lighthearted too.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: They were both Christians.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: They were married in 1951, and I was born on October 31st, 1953, in Chanut, Kansas.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Fifteen months later, my brother John was born.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: Our parents loved us and did a lot of things right.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Overall, we had a good childhood.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: We never lacked for anything we needed.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: In grade school, I was shy.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: I liked school and I was a compliant kid.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: Mom read to us from the Bible and pictures for little eyes, and I loved it.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: We were very active in a small Methodist church.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: I learned many Bible stories and hymns there.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: From an early age, I was frustrated that I couldn't be a sunbeam for Jesus for very long.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: I started wondering what things were sins.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: My folks got along until I was about eight.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: I think I was about ten when I went to a revival at another church.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: The speaker said, If you feel a strange warming in your heart, raise your hand.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: I thought I felt something, so I raised my hand.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: So did my brother.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Mom was a nurse at the state hospital in Osawatomi.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: I started high school.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: It was a very stressful year and they divorced due to incompatibility in November the following year.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: I was barely fifteen.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: Divorce was not as common then.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: The last night he was at home, she made him sleep on the couch and they argued.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: I cried in my room.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: I told the Lord when I have kids I don't want them to hurt like this, and I prayed that I would marry the right guy and only marry once.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: I started wondering if their marriage was a mistake and if I was.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: The following June, Mom moved us to Topeka.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Grandma lived here and mom got a job at the VA.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: That month Dad met someone and he married her in late July.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: She had two daughters and a son.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Not long after they married she got sick with a blood disease.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: She told him we made her nervous.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: We couldn't go as often, but it was good to see Dad and my friends.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: I visited them but never lived with them.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: We got along okay.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: He greeted me with a hug and told me he loved me at least once every time I was there.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: Mom and Dad said a lot of negative things about each other which were damaging to me, especially in the long run.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes John and I felt like we had been traded for other kids.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Dad seemed more distant emotionally.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: I started my junior year at Topeka West, a much larger school.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: I made a few friends and got involved with Pep Club and the Future Teachers Club.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: My favorite classes were in Home Eck.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: We tried a few churches but didn't feel comfortable in any of them.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: Mom bleached her hair and started dating.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: In some ways she seemed like a different person.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: In February of my senior year, I started dating a cute guy named Dave.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: We broke up a little bit later.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: I should have stopped earlier.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: That year I also met my good friend Patty.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: We all graduated in 1971.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: The following fall I started college in Emporia.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: I enjoyed my classes and my independence.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: Later that year, Dave and I started dating again.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: He attended a church and believed he was saved.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: When his mom told me that he had cancer, I was shocked.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: I started praying for him every night.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: Then the professor questioned why a good God would allow people to suffer.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: I finished the year and made some unwise choices.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: I got mad at God, got on the pill, and later gave in to his advances.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: I thought I was in love and it would be okay under these circumstances, but it is not.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: I chose not to go back to school.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: I just wanted to be with him.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: My parents found out about his cancer.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: I got my own apartment and started working.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: I frequently thought about death and eternity and wondered if I was still saved and if he really was.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: About a year later I took a day off to pray about our relationship and decided to break up.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: When I heard he was getting worse, I called him and we went out a few times, but it was not the same.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: In mid-October, a friend invited me to a youth crusade downtown.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: David Wilkerson, an evangelist, spoke about drugs, parents, salvation, end times, and lordship.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: One verse he quoted was Matthew 16, 24 and 25.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus said to his disciples, If anyone wishes to come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me, for whoever wishes to save his life shall lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake shall find it.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: That night, just to make sure, I trusted Christ for my salvation and gave my life to the Lord.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: They gave me a Jesus person maturity manual.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: A day or two later I invited Dave to the crusade, but he refused.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: Not long after that his mom called to tell me he was in the hospital and very weak.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't think Jesus would abandon him, so I stayed by his side most of the time I wasn't working.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: He was on morphine.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: One time when he was alert, we heard Chris Christopherson on the radio singing, Why me, Lord, what did I ever do that was worth loving you and the kindness you've shown?
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: Dave told me he liked that song.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: Later on I went to the hospital chapel and saw the words from Matthew 11 28 up front.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: Come into me all ye that are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: I came away with a strong sense that God would take care of me.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: January january fifth, nineteen seventy four, Dave passed away.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: We were both twenty at the time.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: When I came home from the funeral, I felt as if God hugged me.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: I went to a few bar I went to bars a few times with my friends, but all I did was cry in my beer because the music got to me.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: God started giving me a big hunger for his word.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: The Holy Spirit, called the Comforter, who comes alongside, led me to the following verses and many more.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: Psalm thirty four eighteen.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: God is near the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: Isaiah fifty five eight.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: Isaiah fifty two fourteen told me that Jesus was marred more than any man.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: Isaiah fifty-three was all about Christ's suffering for us and God's love for us.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: I realized even more that Jesus loved me and voluntarily died for me.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: That meant so much more to me now.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: I started going to Bible studies that Dick Ayers was doing on Saturday nights at his home known as the Huntoon House.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: I loved it and started going weekly.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: Dick and his wife Laura also had a few single guys living with him, including Stan Wishman.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: The Bible studies also included worship by guitar, sharing what God was doing, prayer for each other and a time of fellowship after the meetings.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: The living room didn't have any furniture, so we just sat on the red carpet.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: Patty sat started coming too.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: I no longer cared about bars.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: Lots of people about my age came, and most of them were single.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: I received a good foundation of basic Bible knowledge in that setting.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: Laura Ayers became a close friend and she also discipled me.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: I was experiencing more joy.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: I soon learned that the shepherd knows the sheep, and the sheep know the shepherd's voice.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: Since he never contradicts Scripture when he speaks directly to the heart, it is crucial to learn what it says.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: When I read Isa Ephesians 1 4, just as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world that we should be holy and blameless before him, I realized I was not a mistake.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: There was an eternal purpose in my life.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: On another note, one night I was at a laundromat temporarily alone when a man came in, exposing himself to me and grabbing at me.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: I asked him to leave in the name of Jesus, and he did.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: The Lord protected me.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: I did some studies from navigators and intervarsity.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Many of us from the Huntoon House group also went to a little church in Oakland.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: I was baptized in that church.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: That spring I started dating a guy named Steve I had met at the Huntoon House.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: The differences between him and the guys of the world were like night and day.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: After a year we got engaged.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: Dad gave his approval, but when we talked to Mom about our engagement, things blew up.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: I was shocked at the things the two of them said.
• 9:27
  unknown: Excuse me.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: My pastor advised me to wait until our love matured.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: Steve ran into Jim Congdon at the Bible bookstore and they discussed it, and from that conversation Steve realized he really didn't love me.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: We broke up and God spared both of them.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: Later Steve moved away and married someone he met at ORU.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: I spent more time with my friends at the Huntoon House and the church.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: I learned to really value fellowship.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: The Lord showed me Isaiah forty during this time and reminded me of it often as a single.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: It says, Why do you say, O Jacob, and asserted O Israel, my way is hidden from the Lord, and the justice do me escapes the notice of my God?
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: Do you not know?
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: Have you not heard?
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: The everlasting God, the Lord, the creator of the ends of the earth, does not become wary or tired.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: His understanding is inscrutable.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: He gives strength to the weary.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: They that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mound up on wings like the eagles.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: At first there wasn't much dating among us because we all had so much fun together in groups.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: Eventually the leaders encouraged dating, but I didn't date anyone.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: After a while the church in Oakland split.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: It felt like another divorce.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: I went with a huntoon house group.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: After much prayer and consultation, Dick decided to start a house church.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: Later another pastor named Mark Pederson joined us and they were the lead teachers.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: We had other elders too.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: The group was really growing, so they moved it to the Central Park Community Center and it became known as New Covenant Fellowship.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: I learned lots of Bible verses through the songs we sang.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: A group of professionals, which included the Dysters, came.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: The church grew to about 250 people.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: It was a very close-knit church, a family.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: Chris Dyster hired and trained me to be his dental assistant.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: I frequently babysat their three first three boys.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: The Dysters who currently come to TBC are very caring people.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: When I was twenty six, mom was working on her master's degree in nursing.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: She was diagnosed with breast cancer and had two mastectomies.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: My brother talked her out of having me move in with her.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: Thankfully, she recovered and finished her degree a little later.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: Sometime around this, my dad's store went bankrupt and he started working for the post office.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: When I was twenty eight and dad was fifty-seven, he had to have an open heart surgery and a quadruple bypass.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: I stayed near the hospital in Kansas City for about a week.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: I started giving my parents to the Lord.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: Most Christian singles get married young, and many of my friends were getting married and having babies.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: I babysat for lots of families.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: I was happy for them, but wondered what was wrong with me.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: I had some crushes, but they didn't amount to anything.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: I started counseling with Mark.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: Among many other things he told me I didn't have to be married to be s significant.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: We aren't a half a person until we marry.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: And marriage is not a spiritual graduation.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: Mark also inspired me to read Christian nonfiction books, and I have read many since then.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: Gradually God has given me some more answers to the issue of suffering.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: Living in a fallen world is a big part of that.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: He didn't make us to be robots.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: He wanted us to be able to choose to love and have a relationship with Him.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: Our minds cannot comprehend the bigger picture that God has.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I lived alone and other times for financial reasons I had roommates.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: My heavenly father has frequently put people in my life to make me laugh.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: Diane Davidson, Joel and Mark's sister, was one of them.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: One day when I was living with her and another girl, I did not want to spend money on teepee because funds were low.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't say anything to anyone, but I said a quick little prayer that the other girls would buy some.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: The next day we woke up to see lots of teepee swaying from our tree out front.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: God has a sense of humor.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: He works in mysterious ways.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: They meant it for evil, but God meant it for good, you know.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: I went back to school when I was 29, but this time to Washburn, again with an elementary major.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: I loved it.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: He enabled me to make good grades, and I graduated in 1984 at age 31.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: I subbed for two years in and around Topeka, including Care Paravelle.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: In 1985, in 1986, our lead pastors moved to other states and New Covenant folded.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: I was very upset.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: I went to a little church in North Topeka.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: Many New Covenant people came to TBC and some are still here.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: The Lord clearly led me to move to Wichita in November of 1987, primarily to attend Vineyard Christian Fellowship.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: The Vineyard, a bigger church, made a huge impact on my life in many ways.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: They had many of the same ministries as TBC.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: At first I worked in Derby as a parrot.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: The following fall the Lord provided a teaching job at a small Christian school associated with a different church.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: When I was teaching, I was typically happy and busy.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: I enjoyed the kids and the opportunities to talk to them about God.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't struggle with singleness as much then.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: The job ended after the third year due to the school's financial issues.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: I subbed the following year, and the year after that I started subbing, but got a lingering case of bronchitis.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: I worked at the vineyard on days when I wasn't subbing, and that gradually became a full-time job.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: I became discouraged.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't have a husband.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: My biological clock was going crazy and I wasn't finding a teaching job.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: The senior pastor Tom commented at least once that the reason many are single is because God has other things for them to do, at least for a while.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: The church had two paid counseling pastors, Tony and Mark, so I went to Tony first.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: The seminary they had gone to used Larry Crabbe training.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: Tony had some great insights.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: He told me not to make excuses for my parents' divorce.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: Their divorce was a sin, and it was not okay.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: But it was forgivable, and I should forgive them.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: In another situation, he said, It's always easier to fix someone else than it is to fix yourself.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: God also convicted me of my demandingness while reading Larry Crabbe's book Inside Out.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: A combination of counseling, intercessory prayer, and love helped me heal from many hurts.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: One of the problems I frequently had as a single was with my cars breaking down.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: I am so thankful for my brothers in Christ who helped me with them.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: Repairs were a huge expense.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: One year I went through four clunkers.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: Pastor Mark always made loving people a major priority, and his family gave me one of their good cars, and they became a one car family.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: It lasted a long time.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: Another favorite verse as a single was from Hebrews 13 5 in the amplified version.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: For he God himself has said, I will not in any way fail you, nor give you up, nor leave you without support.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: I will not, I will not in any degree leave you helpless, nor let you down, relax my hold on you, assuredly not.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: One day God also spoke to me in Philippians three thirteen to fourteen, which said I should forget what lies behind and press on to what lies ahead.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: I was to stop driving myself crazy trying to figure out why I wasn't getting teaching jobs.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know what to press on to, except Jesus.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: It was okay to enjoy work, but not to make it my identity.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: He also reminded me that there is no greater status than to be a child of God.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: I often heard that the devil fears the day you find out who you are and the authority God has given you.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: I had a couple of different roommates while I lived there.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: Sandy the second one was another funny and fun loving person.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: She had a real good income and let me live with her at an exceptionally low rate for years.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: My friends and I did many fun things in Wichita.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: We went to movies, took some inexpensive trips, did some float trips, went to conferences, etc.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: In 1996, after my stepmother died, Dad and I made a short trip to Branson.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: One of the things he told me was that he hadn't been able to pay too much attention to us around her kids, or he would be in the doghouse for days with my stepmom.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: When my net nephew Daniel was born in 1993, I passed out munch munchkins at work.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: I really got to see him but thoroughly enjoyed it when I did.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: In nineteen ninety seven, the vineyard was having financial difficulties and I needed a better income, so the church let me go.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: Sandy decided it was time to live alone.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: I had another job for a few months.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: Then mom got lung cancer.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: She had a different kind of cancer cell this time from the one she had twenty years earlier with breast cancer, a slower moving one.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: I prayed for her, and though I was torn between the church I dearly loved and family, I decided it was my responsibility to go take care of her.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's not for everyone.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_00: So on august first, nineteen ninety seven, my cousin's family moved me back to mom's in Topeka.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: I knew I would be laying down my life in lots of ways.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: She started chemotherapy, which went very well.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: The doctor thought she would be here a year to a year and a half, but the great physician knew better.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: A few weeks later I went back to Topeka for the weekend.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: As I was returning to Topeka, I started crying about leaving my friends in Wichita.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: A song came on the radio about Jesus being at the end of the road with his arms open wide.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: I had never heard that song before or since or since then, but God used it to encourage me.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: I had been wondering for a while if a husband came into my life, what would I do about children?
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: About eight months after the move when I was forty five, I fasted about it.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: That was just before I found out that I had to have a hysterectomy.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: I asked the elders at my church to pray for me.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: I also found out my insurance would not cover it.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: I was struggling with the finality of it when I sensed God asking me, Am I worth it?
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: Knowing I would someday see Jesus face to face in heaven and find out what color his eyes are and see the scars on his hands motivated me to believe he is worth it for many reasons.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: He is worth anything I have to go through.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: My family supported me and Mom.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: Even little Daniel brought me his raggedy Andy doll.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_00: Marianne Clinic, a Catholic agency, paid for all but a hundred dollars of the bill.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: My emotions leveled out more after the surgery.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: It was a big adjustment to be living with Mom in my forties.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't have any privacy in a small one bedroom house.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: We lived within uncertainty.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: Since she was doing well, I worked and did some other things for a long time.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't view caregaming as putting my life on hold, since I believed God had called me to it, and that was the life he had for me at the time.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: Aunt Lou, who lived in Topeka, came and helped too, and sometimes my brother.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: We babysat Daniel, took some small trips, went to church, scrapbooked, labeled photos, and got to know each other better.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: She made some beautiful quilts.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: To a large degree she was her own nurse.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: The hospice team came the last year and a half.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: Ladies from her church gave me a break nearly every day for an hour or two.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: She received many cards from the house.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: In the early days of her illness, God also ministered to her by reminding her of children's Sunday school songs she had known and gave her dreams about Daniel and other little kids at the preschool.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: Dad even came to visit a few times and there was healing between them.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: We had one Christmas with all of us.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: When he married again at age 70, mom was happy for him and glad that he had someone to take care of him.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: My student new stepmom had two grown daughters and several grandkids that we rarely saw.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: The last year hospice told me she needed twenty four hour care, so I quit.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: She was only bedridden a few days.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_00: She passed away at home with me and a friend at her side the day after Thanksgiving 2001.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: My pastor showed up about two minutes later, which really blessed me.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: I had been living with her almost four and a half years, three years longer than her doctor expected.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: She left us a far bigger inheritance than we thought she had.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_00: She had sacrificed much to do that.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: I decided to stay in Topeka and live in mom's house.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: I tried many churches, including TBC, but my biggest problem was finding a church with singles my age or married who had time to spend with me.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: I still saw my closest friends from New Covenant at times, and I still do.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: I dated three guys over several years that weren't stable and ended up breaking up with them.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: I started to see a pattern in them that I did not like.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: I realized I was being too desperate.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: I regretted breaking their hearts and prayed that I would be more careful and not do that again.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: At one time I asked Pastor Mark in Wichita if God would give me someone with serious issues after I'd waited so long for a husband.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: He said, Yes, everybody has issues.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: You just have to know what issues you can live with.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: Dr.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_00: Dobson on Focus on the Family also wrote that you should keep your eyes wide open before you married and half closed after.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_00: After mom died, God gave me the opportunity to spend more time with my nephew.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_00: We went on little adventures around town, attended several churches, talked about God, and had sleepovers.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: Then his family moved to Auburn and I wasn't able to see him as often.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_00: When he was 13, we took a very memorable little trip to Hannibal, Missouri.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: I have been able to go to most of his school programs and other events from grade school through college.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_00: In March of 2002, God provided me a job at the Kansas Board of Regents as a support person for adult education and GED prep.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_00: My clerical work at the vineyard was good preparation for that, and they were excited to get someone with a teaching background.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_00: Sherry Ferris, a good friend from New Covenant Days, became my boss.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_00: God is so good.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: He knew my needs and put her there with me nearly every day for ten years.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: She saw me at my worst on many occasions.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_00: She loved me through all the challenging times.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_00: She has been at TBC for decades.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: I came back to TBC an even bigger church in 2009 because of the singles group TBC had and because there were more options for things to get involved in.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: As a young single, I had started with a big wish list for a husband.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: Over the years, God reduced it.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: Having worked among many pastors, I learned that even they were human and had their own strengths and weaknesses.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: Originally, I wanted to have several kids, but gradually lowered the number.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_00: I also learned to give my heavenly father the expectations I had for dad to meet my needs in various ways.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_00: The same is true of others, including the church.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: It took a long time in some areas for my head knowledge to grow into heart knowledge.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_00: I was getting to a place of trusting God more and being able to more fully surrender my singleness to Him.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_00: I had considered what it would be like to be a stepmom and wasn't sure I wanted to be in that role.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: I did pray and get prayer for more companionship.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_00: Around this time, God encouraged me with Psalm 31, 14.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_00: How great is your goodness which you have stored up for those who fear you, which you bestow in the sight of men on those who take refuge in you.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_00: One Sunday morning here in 2011, the leader up front told everyone to stand up and introduce yourself to the people around you.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: I introduced myself to Daryl.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_00: On our first date we went to the Good Friday service.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: After the service we went to a coffee house and talked.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_00: Even though we had been coming to TBC for two years and had taken many classes, we had never met each other.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_00: When he took me home, he prayed for me in the car.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: I was impressed with that.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_00: Not many Christian guys ever had ever done that.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_00: We continued dating.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_00: We met each other's families.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: My dad told me not to let this one get away.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_00: We got engaged at Ted Ensley Gardens.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: Hank warned us in premarital class that only Jesus could love us the way we wanted to be loved.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_00: That is true.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_00: We were married October 29th, 2011, here at TBC, and our reception was in this room.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_00: I was 57.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_00: Dick gave the message, Dick Harris gave the message, and Jim Congdon led the rest.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: Dad and I slowly walked each other down the aisle.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: He paid for most of all of it.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_00: Daryl loves Jesus.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_00: He loves me and is a wonderful husband.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_00: We share the same values and enjoy many of the same things.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_00: He was worth the wait.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_00: He brought his two little dogs with him, which we enjoyed for years.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_00: Dad had lots of angioplasties, balloon jobs on his heart over the years, and we had many emergency trips to St.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: Luke's hospital, but God kept him going.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we had talks about God.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_00: In 2014 his heart worsened and so did my stepmom's health.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: My stepsister did most of the care at home, but I went a few days a week to give her a break.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_00: There were some stormy times with my stepmom.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_00: The Lord comforted me often with songs on the radio.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: Though I walk through deep waters, I am not alone.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_00: And others.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_00: Another time after a rough day I was driving home from Osawatomi and saw one of the most beautiful sunsets I had ever seen.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_00: Dad and I had some special times in the Word then.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_00: He went to be with the Lord on january fourth, twenty fifteen with all of us around him.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_00: My stepmom passed away about a year and a half after my dad.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm continually learning that people disappoint me, and I disappoint them.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's why we all need Jesus.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: The Lord blessed us through Dad many times, and after he passed, John and I again received a far bigger inheritance than we ever imagined.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_00: He had been thinking of us more than we knew.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_00: I was able to retire from the state in 2016, the day before my last scheduled day at work, Daryl's stepdad died, and in 2018 we experienced the untimely death of one of Daryl's brothers.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: Griefshare really ministered to us and helped us learn how to help others.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_00: Then COVID struck in 2020 and my independent 91-year-old Aunt Lou was diagnosed with a pre-leukemia condition.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_00: She was a widow with no kids.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_00: She had been here for us, especially after losing our parents.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_00: Again I was called to be a primary caregiver.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_00: I had to do more actual hands-on care this time.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_00: Daryl helped too.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_00: The promise from Psalm 5522, he will sustain you was the one was one way that God gave me strength.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: A home health agency helped until hospice started coming.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_00: Aunt Lou went to heaven this past June with the family around her.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_00: My friend Kathy, she's here, was a big support during and after this.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_00: In October of last year, Daryl retired and we celebrated our tenth anniversary.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_00: We hope to do some travel and continue to know and serve the Lord.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_00: TBC has been a huge blessing to us.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_00: The teachings are wonderful.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_00: The staff has been very helpful on many occasions.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_00: I've met with Patty Delberto a few times and really appreciate her wisdom and concern.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_00: We have many friends in Koinania class in a small group.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_00: I have enjoyed the worship, women's ministry studies and events, including LOL and Espresso.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_00: We have served in several areas here and plan to continue to.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_00: We are thankful for all the love and support we have received.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: If you feel like your life is a mess, consider that God can take even a grain of sand, put it in a messy old oyster, and over time, even when it seems like nothing is happening, form it into the most beautiful pearl.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_00: He's doing that with his bride, the church.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_00: He can also teach us to see him as the pearl of great price, the one who is worth whatever trials we must go through.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_00: When life is hard and you feel like the bottom is falling out, underneath are the under are the everlasting arms of the Heavenly Father.