Latest / Echoes & Edges / Shame and the Hidden Narrative: Pt. 4 - From Shame to Wholeness w/ Daniel Herron

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Shame and the Hidden Narrative: Pt. 4 - From Shame to Wholeness w/ Daniel Herron · Echoes & Edges

0:03
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Patria. If you're noticing a desire to understand
0:07
Speaker 1: yourself and your patterns more deeply, or want to feel
0:11
Speaker 1: more grounded, more at home in your own life, I
0:15
Speaker 1: want to invite you into something I'm offering. On June thirteen,
0:20
Speaker 1: I'll be hosting a live workshop called Coming Home to Yourself,
0:24
Speaker 1: a Journey into Secure Belonging. This is a space where
0:29
Speaker 1: we'll gently explore what it means to move out of
0:33
Speaker 1: survival patterns and into a more secure, connected way of
0:38
Speaker 1: relating to yourself and to others. It's not about fixing yourself,
0:43
Speaker 1: that's for sure. It's more about understanding what shaped us
0:49
Speaker 1: and learning how to come back to who we are
0:52
Speaker 1: so that our connections are more solid and stable. The
0:57
Speaker 1: workshop is eighty nine dollars, with an expanded option available
1:01
Speaker 1: for those who want to take a deeper dive, and
1:03
Speaker 1: if you register before May twenty eight, you'll automatically receive
1:07
Speaker 1: a discount of ten percent. If you'd like to join us,
1:11
Speaker 1: you can find all the details and register through the
1:14
Speaker 1: link in the show notes. I'd love to see you there.
1:26
Speaker 1: As we move into this final part of the conversation,
1:29
Speaker 1: there's a natural shift that begins to happen. We've talked
1:34
Speaker 1: about how shame forms, we've named the role of secrecy
1:38
Speaker 1: and the stories that protect it, and we've begun to
1:41
Speaker 1: see how underneath all of that, our gifts are still present,
1:46
Speaker 1: just waiting to be reclaimed. But awareness alone isn't the
1:52
Speaker 1: end of the process. Knowing something intellectually is very different
1:57
Speaker 1: from living it out. In this part of the conversation,
2:01
Speaker 1: we're moving into what integration actually looks like, what it
2:05
Speaker 1: means to live from a more grounded sense of identity
2:10
Speaker 1: instead of four others in a performance way, and to
2:14
Speaker 1: reconnect with your emotions and instincts and begin to experience
2:19
Speaker 1: your life from a place of wholeness, wholeheartedness, wholeness rather
2:26
Speaker 1: than fragmentation or disintegration that's an experience of shame. We
2:34
Speaker 1: talk about regulation, we talk about safety, We talk about
2:38
Speaker 1: what it really takes to come out of hiding, not
2:42
Speaker 1: just conceptually, but relationally and in your own body. Because ultimately,
2:48
Speaker 1: this work isn't just about understanding your story and your head.
2:53
Speaker 1: It's about being able to live inside your life with
2:58
Speaker 1: more freedom, more compassion, more love, and more truth.
3:10
Speaker 2: Maybe the system was the problem. Maybe the way you
3:13
Speaker 2: were being treated was the problem. And so that starts
3:18
Speaker 2: to rebuild in us. Instead of a shame based identity core,
3:21
Speaker 2: we start to build a grounded identity and who I
3:24
Speaker 2: am is okay. In fact, who I am is more
3:27
Speaker 2: than okay, it's good. And so compassion, I think is
3:32
Speaker 2: compassion is where that is like the invitation to make
3:36
Speaker 2: that shift, that transformative perspective shift about ourselves. And then
3:42
Speaker 2: I think when you compare compassion with curiosity, that's where
3:48
Speaker 2: the magic lies. I think somebody is compassionate with you,
3:52
Speaker 2: which is a gift that we get to give to
3:54
Speaker 2: our clients right as coaches and as healers, to extend compassion.
3:59
Speaker 2: And then we then this curiosity about tell me about
4:02
Speaker 2: what was your life like what happened to you? Instead
4:05
Speaker 2: of what's wrong with you? What happened to you? And
4:09
Speaker 2: that invitation is a place that people can start to
4:12
Speaker 2: feel safe, to transform that perspective of life of the
4:17
Speaker 2: shame core versus the grounded identity core.
4:20
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, beautiful, that's so beautifully said. And I think
4:27
Speaker 1: secrecy then is the it's the antithesis of safety. So
4:36
Speaker 1: when you say safety, what does that mean?
4:41
Speaker 2: Yeah, So safety is where we begin to move towards
4:47
Speaker 2: authenticity when we feel safe. So if I find this
4:53
Speaker 2: kind of fascinating, it's like our attachment need overrides everything
4:57
Speaker 2: when we're young, when we're developing, okay, But then at
5:01
Speaker 2: some point in our life we get stable enough and
5:05
Speaker 2: the attachment need is not overriding everything, and then suddenly
5:09
Speaker 2: this authenticity need starts to pop up, and it starts
5:15
Speaker 2: to want to come out. Like I think there's something
5:17
Speaker 2: inside of us that just wants to heal. It's moving
5:20
Speaker 2: us towards that, and I think it's this other need
5:23
Speaker 2: for our authenticity. And so when we're safe enough, because
5:28
Speaker 2: we have the people around us, because we have stability
5:32
Speaker 2: and where we're living and income and those kinds of things,
5:35
Speaker 2: that's when we can start to ask the question about authenticity.
5:40
Speaker 2: And so that's when our like, essentially our authentic self
5:44
Speaker 2: had to be secreted away, right, had to be hidden, Yeah,
5:48
Speaker 2: because it was it threatened our attachment. And so that's
5:53
Speaker 2: what we're trying to come out of. Is what we're
5:55
Speaker 2: trying to uncover is our authentic self. That's what's trying
6:01
Speaker 2: no longer to be secret. But it's a brilliant design
6:04
Speaker 2: because it to hide it away protects our authenticity, and
6:09
Speaker 2: so what's being damaged and what's being harmed are not
6:14
Speaker 2: the core of who we are anymore because we protected ourselves. Yes,
6:19
Speaker 2: it's like the shell is continually being harmed, but the
6:22
Speaker 2: protectors are protecting the core of who we are until
6:25
Speaker 2: it's able to come out, until that authentic place is
6:28
Speaker 2: able to come out.
6:30
Speaker 1: Yes, I love the way that you put that that
6:35
Speaker 1: stream together, Like it feels very linear what you just
6:38
Speaker 1: described there, And of course the experience of it is circular,
6:41
Speaker 1: you know, as we know healing is. But it is
6:44
Speaker 1: important to understand, as you stated that linear process like it,
6:50
Speaker 1: there is this design. I don't know what else to
6:54
Speaker 1: call it, but there is a design. So even in
6:57
Speaker 1: the midst of systems and maybe even parents who don't
7:01
Speaker 1: mean well but most parents do mean well, right, there's
7:06
Speaker 1: most of the time. But whatever the case, that even
7:09
Speaker 1: within whatever the story is and how many layers there are,
7:16
Speaker 1: the design is such that identity who I am is
7:20
Speaker 1: actually protected. It's a little acorn, golden nice. I think
7:24
Speaker 1: of it like this little golden knight exactly, you know, yeah.
7:27
Speaker 2: Yeah, and a ground I love the idea of a
7:30
Speaker 2: grounded identity because to me it exudes the image of
7:34
Speaker 2: an acorn growing into an oak tree. And then and
7:38
Speaker 2: when we're so grounded and our roots are deep, our
7:41
Speaker 2: identity is this oak tree. And then there's not much
7:44
Speaker 2: that that makes it really dangerous to systems because it's
7:49
Speaker 2: so solid and so strong that we don't need anything
7:51
Speaker 2: outside of anything outside of us and our love that
7:55
Speaker 2: surrounds us from our core group of people. We don't
7:58
Speaker 2: need any more than that to say it's okay to
8:00
Speaker 2: be who you are, and that is that's freedom to me.
8:05
Speaker 1: Well, and those huge oak limbs become.
8:09
Speaker 2: Shade for other people exactly.
8:12
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's again, it's just that brilliant design that
8:16
Speaker 1: we see all around us in earth.
8:19
Speaker 2: And you know, yeah, I think, like you said, like
8:22
Speaker 2: what I've understood about my parents is that they were
8:24
Speaker 2: really trying their best, and even in trying to do
8:28
Speaker 2: their best, they they had been taught a system that
8:32
Speaker 2: was oppressive, especially to me, and so when being forced
8:38
Speaker 2: to live in that is traumatic for my system. That
8:42
Speaker 2: doesn't mean my parents are abusive. It just means that
8:46
Speaker 2: in some of the systems that they use were abusive.
8:50
Speaker 2: But that doesn't mean my parents in and of themselves
8:53
Speaker 2: are abusive, it means that they were trying to do
8:56
Speaker 2: the best that they could with what they knew. And
8:59
Speaker 2: I always remember last night I was hearing a story
9:01
Speaker 2: about a kid who was drowning and his dad swam
9:04
Speaker 2: out in the ocean and saved him. And I had
9:06
Speaker 2: a memory all of a sudden of the time when
9:08
Speaker 2: I was in a lake and I swam too far
9:11
Speaker 2: out and I couldn't get back. It was fifth or
9:13
Speaker 2: sixth grade, and I started to go underwater and I
9:16
Speaker 2: was starting to drown, and one of the other people
9:18
Speaker 2: that was there rescued me and brought me back to
9:21
Speaker 2: the shore. And what was striking to me last night
9:24
Speaker 2: as I was remembering it was I don't remember it
9:29
Speaker 2: as trauma. It is not a significant event in my life.
9:34
Speaker 2: It is just, oh, yeah, that happened to me. And
9:37
Speaker 2: so whatever happened there means that I was met with
9:41
Speaker 2: compassion and love and containment that allowed that experience that
9:47
Speaker 2: could have been traumatic for me to not be traumatic.
9:50
Speaker 2: Because I love the water, like I love being out
9:53
Speaker 2: in the ocean. I love being and if that was
9:55
Speaker 2: if that was still sitting in my body as trauma,
9:57
Speaker 2: I would not love those things.
9:59
Speaker 1: Ye yeah, And I really appreciate the nuance that you're
10:10
Speaker 1: bringing here too, because again, the nuance of shame or
10:15
Speaker 1: the experience of shame is so nuanced. It like we
10:18
Speaker 1: do talk about it so often in the context of
10:21
Speaker 1: these big tea experiences where it's obviously there's a broken bone,
10:28
Speaker 1: there's you know, or there's intentional harm in some way,
10:33
Speaker 1: you know, gas lighting, narcissism, all these big words that
10:36
Speaker 1: are constantly thrown around, which obviously those are abusive and
10:40
Speaker 1: those do produce shame, but they also come from a
10:44
Speaker 1: shame based identity. And so this this nuance is it's
10:50
Speaker 1: not necessarily personal shame based identity that's coming. We're talking
10:56
Speaker 1: about this cultural shame based identity almost where even then
11:00
Speaker 1: that you have these beautiful experiences where like that could
11:05
Speaker 1: have been terrifying if if you had felt the experience
11:09
Speaker 1: of near death, or if you had been met with
11:12
Speaker 1: screaming at you.
11:13
Speaker 2: Right, yeah, what's wrong with you?
11:16
Speaker 1: That's wrong with you? Yeah. So the way that you
11:20
Speaker 1: were met, I like the way you said that, the
11:22
Speaker 1: way that I was met makes it a not traumatic memory.
11:26
Speaker 1: So trauma does not have to traumatize, and that is
11:29
Speaker 1: a very core truth life brings us trauma all the time,
11:34
Speaker 1: you know, And so what we are talking about is attachment,
11:36
Speaker 1: especially for children, is what is the attachment lying?
11:40
Speaker 2: Yeah, so my parents did really good in this area.
11:42
Speaker 2: But then the system that they were kind of they had,
11:46
Speaker 2: their narrative was built on h created a shame based
11:51
Speaker 2: core for me. Yeah, even in there, in the midst
11:55
Speaker 2: of trying so hard to love me the best that
11:58
Speaker 2: they could, that's what happened.
12:00
Speaker 1: And that There's so much that we could say there.
12:03
Speaker 1: So I'm going to keep going. I want to go deeper,
12:06
Speaker 1: but maybe we'll come back sometime and do some more
12:08
Speaker 1: on that, on intentional versus unintentional and all that stuff.
12:13
Speaker 1: It's a whole conversation. But I want to stick with
12:16
Speaker 1: this movement of healing. You know. So, when someone begins
12:19
Speaker 1: reclaiming these parts of themselves that have been exiled, that
12:23
Speaker 1: were once really shamed, what do you often see emerge
12:30
Speaker 1: or begin emerging, so that the compassion has come, the
12:33
Speaker 1: safety has come, the curiosity has come. Yeah, what starts emerging?
12:39
Speaker 2: Well, the thing that came to mind is that immediately
12:44
Speaker 2: was that our gift starts to emerge. I don't know
12:48
Speaker 2: if that's if that's what you were thinking or not,
12:51
Speaker 2: but that's what the first thing that came to my mind.
12:54
Speaker 2: And so I think our protections and our survival mechanisms
12:59
Speaker 2: are off and they operate parallel to our gift or
13:04
Speaker 2: the certain types of mechanisms that we create to protect
13:07
Speaker 2: ourselves are because we are gifted in a certain way. So,
13:11
Speaker 2: for example, people pleaser was a big one for me,
13:14
Speaker 2: so I developed this people pleaser. That people pleaser was
13:18
Speaker 2: really good at seeing and feeling and knowing what people
13:22
Speaker 2: wanted and what people needed and then giving that to
13:25
Speaker 2: them to make them feel good, which made me feel good.
13:30
Speaker 2: It was a regulation system for me. It helped me
13:32
Speaker 2: feel okay because if they were okay, then I could
13:35
Speaker 2: be okay. But if they were not okay, then I
13:38
Speaker 2: can't be okay. So that people pleaser was really built
13:43
Speaker 2: on what was already innate to me, which is I
13:48
Speaker 2: have an ability to attune. I feel deeply, I'm sensitive
13:52
Speaker 2: to people and what's happening with them, and so I
13:54
Speaker 2: can use that. And so what began to emerge for
13:58
Speaker 2: me was that that gift gets untwisted from the people
14:03
Speaker 2: pleasing place, and then I get to have it and
14:06
Speaker 2: be with the gift of who I am in my
14:10
Speaker 2: authentic way of doing it, which really benefits me in
14:15
Speaker 2: my work as a trauma and transformation coach, because I
14:18
Speaker 2: have an ability to attune deeply to people. And in fact,
14:23
Speaker 2: the irony of it is that my harm even honed
14:27
Speaker 2: that gift further. Like to learn to be a really
14:29
Speaker 2: good people pleaser, I had to learn to attune even more. Yes,
14:34
Speaker 2: and so as it gets set free from a survival protective,
14:39
Speaker 2: from a shame based place into a place of freedom,
14:43
Speaker 2: then I get the fullness of that gift of my
14:46
Speaker 2: attunement and my intuition and my sensing and my feeling
14:50
Speaker 2: of people, And then I can connect with people deeply.
14:53
Speaker 2: I can see and hear people deeply. That creates a
14:56
Speaker 2: depth of relationship just goes on and on it on.
15:01
Speaker 1: Yeah, it makes me think of Dan Allender's language play
15:05
Speaker 1: in the Kingdom of God, Like when we flip this,
15:09
Speaker 1: when the script gets flipped, which is what you know
15:12
Speaker 1: happened there as you're describing that, I'm thinking about that
15:16
Speaker 1: script was flipped from your bad and dangerous, your danger
15:20
Speaker 1: is bad to wait, what makes me dangerous is actually
15:24
Speaker 1: what's good about me? I can i can really read people.
15:28
Speaker 1: I can really read a room and I can actually
15:33
Speaker 1: you're not only reading with your right brain, but you're
15:35
Speaker 1: able to transfer thoughts and share thoughts and questions and
15:40
Speaker 1: be curious with your left brain. And that kind of
15:43
Speaker 1: gifting is in any gift. And I yes, that was
15:48
Speaker 1: exactly what I was thinking too.
15:50
Speaker 2: The gifts you.
15:50
Speaker 1: Start coming, yeah, yes, is you start to experience your
15:56
Speaker 1: own gifting as a gift rather then as a curse
16:01
Speaker 1: you know, something bad.
16:02
Speaker 2: Right, or a shame And I think shame teaches us
16:05
Speaker 2: that word. We're not okay and who we are, So
16:08
Speaker 2: we can't trust our hearts, so we can't trust our feelings,
16:10
Speaker 2: and we can't trust our gut because it's all bad.
16:12
Speaker 2: It's all bad, it's shameful, it's bad. And so when
16:16
Speaker 2: that when that flips scripts and it's all these are
16:19
Speaker 2: the good places of who you are. Wow, look at
16:22
Speaker 2: look at that. Who you are is amazing?
16:26
Speaker 1: Right, sorry, right, I'm delighted in this part of the conversation,
16:30
Speaker 1: especially too, because it is that's when it really gets fun.
16:33
Speaker 1: And it's why I'm I'm guessing, based upon the look
16:37
Speaker 1: on your face and the feeling of my own self
16:40
Speaker 1: is like, that's why I do what I do, right,
16:42
Speaker 1: because it's so fun to share that this is real,
16:46
Speaker 1: that's right healing and shame. Shame can really heal, it
16:51
Speaker 1: really can, and it really makes a difference.
16:53
Speaker 2: It can be the it can be the doorway.
16:56
Speaker 1: The doorway, yes, yes, yes, exactly. So on one side
17:03
Speaker 1: of that, it's like if we use that doorway metaphor
17:06
Speaker 1: on this on the little person side, on our you know,
17:11
Speaker 1: lower earlier development brain, you know, so I call it
17:14
Speaker 1: the wiggly migdalah, the the you know, when we get
17:17
Speaker 1: just regulated. When we're on that side of the doorway,
17:20
Speaker 1: shame is convincing us that the safest way to survive
17:23
Speaker 1: is to get smaller. But on the other side of
17:27
Speaker 1: the doorway, shame is saying, hey, something different, Like I
17:31
Speaker 1: don't know the shame is saying anything at all on
17:33
Speaker 1: the other side of the doorway. But we are operating
17:35
Speaker 1: off the premise that shame isn't all bad. So it's
17:37
Speaker 1: here somewhere, but it's not certainly not telling us to hide, right,
17:42
Speaker 1: it's not telling us to get smaller. If shame is
17:45
Speaker 1: speaking at all here, I don't know if shame has
17:47
Speaker 1: a voice here.
17:48
Speaker 2: Well, I do think shame has a voice, but it's
17:51
Speaker 2: I think it's it's a little bit different like shame.
17:54
Speaker 2: The feeling of shame is cluing us in that something's wrong.
18:00
Speaker 2: Like That's when we start to use shame for healing,
18:02
Speaker 2: is when we say, Okay, I'm feeling shame. That means
18:05
Speaker 2: I'm feeling that I am something is wrong with me.
18:09
Speaker 2: And then we get to say with compact, we get
18:11
Speaker 2: to treat yourself with compassion and say, oh, yeah, of
18:13
Speaker 2: course you are. That's what happened to you in your life. Okay,
18:16
Speaker 2: let's say what happened now we're curious about it, and
18:19
Speaker 2: then that shame can lead us to the wound that
18:24
Speaker 2: can then has the opportunity to be healed. So whenever
18:27
Speaker 2: we feel shame, when we're moving in a healing mode,
18:31
Speaker 2: it becomes an opportunity for us to see a deeper
18:33
Speaker 2: part of ourselves. The shame itself isn't healing us. The
18:37
Speaker 2: shame itself isn't a great emotion. It doesn't feel good,
18:41
Speaker 2: doesn't feel right it comes from, but it does give
18:44
Speaker 2: us an opportunity to say, Okay, what happened? Why am
18:47
Speaker 2: I feeling this right here? What happened to me, then, yeah.
18:52
Speaker 1: That's like anger to me in the sense that it's disregulating.
18:57
Speaker 1: So I feel like, in one sense you're talking about
19:01
Speaker 1: we when we are able to regulate through the shame
19:05
Speaker 1: and and get the gift that it's bringing, versus, you know,
19:10
Speaker 1: being convinced by some identity idea that we've been given
19:14
Speaker 1: that it's a doorway to something deeper. And and I
19:18
Speaker 1: feel that way a lot about anger, And I'm sharing
19:21
Speaker 1: that out because I'm guessing a lot of people can
19:25
Speaker 1: identify with that as well. It's an it's a dysregulating
19:29
Speaker 1: feeling in my body, as a nye, as an Enneagram
19:32
Speaker 1: type nine whose only clear good feeling is peace and serendy,
19:38
Speaker 1: you know. So anything that just regulates that brings the
19:43
Speaker 1: feeling of shame for me. And so what you just
19:47
Speaker 1: described is, yes, it's that feeling of It's that it's
19:51
Speaker 1: that it has a different voice. Now I can hear
19:54
Speaker 1: it but not be convinced by it, you know, and
19:58
Speaker 1: use it for my good.
20:00
Speaker 2: Right. We never get rid of it, I think is
20:03
Speaker 2: what we need to say, is like we don't get
20:05
Speaker 2: rid of those feelings because we are human and to
20:08
Speaker 2: be human is to feel. What we do get to
20:11
Speaker 2: do is understand that the feeling means something. It means something,
20:16
Speaker 2: and when we know that it means something there for
20:19
Speaker 2: a reason, then we don't have to repress it, we
20:21
Speaker 2: don't have to push it away. We get to feel it.
20:24
Speaker 2: And when we feel it is when we are living
20:27
Speaker 2: in wholeness with ourselves. It's feeling all of the emotions,
20:31
Speaker 2: whether they're regulating or disregulating, and having the ability inside
20:35
Speaker 2: of ourselves too regulate through those things, like you said,
20:39
Speaker 2: But then they become opportunity for a deeper level of healing,
20:43
Speaker 2: deeper roots for our beautiful oak tree, bigger canopy. You know,
20:48
Speaker 2: it becomes an opening rather than negative. And so I
20:52
Speaker 2: think like a part of what we're saying here is
20:55
Speaker 2: that there isn't really a negative emotion. Emotions are.
21:02
Speaker 1: Shame, yes, even shame, even shame.
21:05
Speaker 2: As part of the power of shame was that it
21:07
Speaker 2: protected that agcorn right, part of the that's right, part
21:11
Speaker 2: of the real power of shame was that it really
21:13
Speaker 2: protected we could use it to really protect ourselves.
21:20
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Patria. If you've been listening to this podcast
21:24
Speaker 1: and find yourself recognizing pieces of your own story, the
21:29
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21:34
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21:38
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21:42
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23:04
Speaker 1: to others. To you, the person thinking about checking this out,
23:09
Speaker 1: you are not alone in this reach out. There is
23:14
Speaker 1: a way forward. Anything else you would add that's kind
23:29
Speaker 1: of churning or stirring in you, and anything else you'd
23:33
Speaker 1: want listeners to know about you and your work.
23:35
Speaker 2: In the world. Yeah. So most of the wild is
23:40
Speaker 2: my transformation coaching business name, and they will.
23:45
Speaker 1: Say that one more time.
23:46
Speaker 2: Musa the Wild. Yeah, And that's because it's all a
23:50
Speaker 2: reclamation for me. Musa is my middle name. I was
23:54
Speaker 2: born in Africa and it's Swahili for Moses. So I
23:59
Speaker 2: felt a lot of shame for that name because it
24:01
Speaker 2: was it was weird and people didn't understand what it
24:06
Speaker 2: was and so it could get made fun of pretty easy.
24:08
Speaker 2: So claiming back Musa for myself is a big part
24:12
Speaker 2: of that. And then the wild piece is that reclamation
24:15
Speaker 2: of the wild part of me. And the reason that
24:18
Speaker 2: you want to work with me is because I am wild.
24:21
Speaker 2: Because the systems don't trap me, the rigidness of format
24:28
Speaker 2: and process don't constrict me. I love to work in
24:33
Speaker 2: the wilderness with people and so that's a reclamation of
24:37
Speaker 2: myself and who I am and my gifting and how
24:39
Speaker 2: I work. I get excited about that part. Nobody else
24:42
Speaker 2: gets as excited as I do about it. But that's
24:45
Speaker 2: okay because whenever I read it, it's like, uh, yes,
24:48
Speaker 2: I love that.
24:48
Speaker 1: Yes, well, you're saying your gift just by the way.
24:52
Speaker 1: I won't I won't keep interjecting, but that's your gift,
24:56
Speaker 1: that you found your gift.
24:57
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, exactly, exactly. Yeah. So if you are, if
25:01
Speaker 2: you're listening here and you come to my website and
25:04
Speaker 2: you reach out and you say you heard about me
25:06
Speaker 2: on the podcast, on this podcast, I would offer you
25:10
Speaker 2: a twenty five percent discount to coaching or coaching packages.
25:14
Speaker 2: So just mention that if you come to my website
25:16
Speaker 2: and you reach out, mention the podcast and that'll happen.
25:20
Speaker 1: Yes, And the podcast is Echoes and Edges in case
25:22
Speaker 1: you forget what you're listening to, Echoes and Edges the
25:24
Speaker 1: brook In a beautiful podcast. Thank you so much, Daniel
25:28
Speaker 1: for this great insight that you bring and just the
25:33
Speaker 1: work that you've done for yourself so that others can come,
25:38
Speaker 1: you know, and be healed as well. And that's just
25:42
Speaker 1: a beautiful, beautiful offering in the world. And as we
25:46
Speaker 1: close this conversation, I want to leave you with one
25:49
Speaker 1: final thought. Shame has a way of convincing us that
25:53
Speaker 1: the safest way to survive is to become smaller or isolated,
25:59
Speaker 1: or be alone, or don't show it to anybody, don't
26:02
Speaker 1: tell anybody. It's a way of hiding ourselves. It might
26:06
Speaker 1: even just be softening your voice, not being quite so loud.
26:11
Speaker 1: In some way or another. It's telling us to bury
26:15
Speaker 1: the instincts that once got us into trouble. But healing
26:19
Speaker 1: doesn't actually come from becoming less of who we are.
26:23
Speaker 1: More often it comes from rediscovering the parts that have
26:27
Speaker 1: been hidden and sometimes even to our own self. Many
26:30
Speaker 1: times even to our own self, the parts that felt
26:34
Speaker 1: too emotional, too curious, too sensitive, too wild, as we
26:37
Speaker 1: talked about, because sometimes those very qualities were never the problem.
26:42
Speaker 1: In fact, they rarely are. Sometimes there's simply dangerous to
26:47
Speaker 1: systems that depend on our silence. So if you find
26:51
Speaker 1: yourself beginning to reconnect with pieces of yourself that were
26:54
Speaker 1: once buried, I hope you'll approach them with curiosity instead
26:58
Speaker 1: of fear, because those parts might not be destructive at all.
27:02
Speaker 1: They might just be the parts of you that are
27:04
Speaker 1: finally coming back to life. And if you would like
27:09
Speaker 1: help or just a guide alongside you, reach out to Daniel,
27:14
Speaker 1: reach out to me, reach out to any one of
27:16
Speaker 1: our coaches at the Broken and Beautiful collective, which you
27:19
Speaker 1: can find at the Broken and Beautiful dot com. Thanks
27:22
Speaker 1: for listening. If this episode resonates with you, follow or
27:29
Speaker 1: subscribe to Echoes and Edges on your favorite podcast platform,
27:33
Speaker 1: Leave a five star review, and share with a friend
27:36
Speaker 1: who might need a gentle invitation to self understanding. Echoes
27:40
Speaker 1: and Edges is produced and edited by Stephen R. Sanders.
27:44
Speaker 1: Music promoted by Envado. Echoes and Edges is part of
27:47
Speaker 1: the Vivid Livid podcast network, where bruses speak and healing
27:52
Speaker 1: finds its voice