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Fatherhood: The Lessons That Change a Man · How We 1st Met & Marriage

• Johnny: I'd like to welcome everybody back to another episode of Let's Talk About It. Today, we have a special guest in the house. I've been knowing this guy for over 30 years, been a good friend of mine. back, there's so much I can say about him. A good father, he's gonna tell you a little bit about himself. So, Nick, go ahead. You got the flow to you, you got the flow. Let him know about you a little bit about yourself. Nicholas: Hey, first of all, I wanna say thank you, Johnny, for giving me this opportunity. I I feel like a big time movie star now, like a me and there now. My f my my my debut. also Johnny: You are for me. Nicholas: also I me again I wanna wanna reiterate what Johnny said. we've been friends for over 30 something years. And out of all the friends that we've had collectively, Johnny's been the most subtle and the most down to earth one. And Johnny: Thank you, thank you. Nicholas: yeah, yeah. But to say a little bit about myself, I've raised two daughters and I've made a life out here in San Antonio after Katrina and helped raise two daughters and I've done done well for myself, done well for myself, Johnny: That's good. Nicholas: If I had to give any compilations to anybody or give any recollection to it, be God in Jesus Christ first, because he's definitely seen Johnny: Yes. Nicholas: me through, definitely seen me through in raising my children and and and having a prosperous life. So that's you know, that's that's a just of myself, you know. Y'all know me, y'all know me, y'all know Johnny: Yeah. Nicholas: me. Don't let these black hairs fool you, yeah. Johnny: Don't let me fool you. Right. So with that yes, for Devin saying, Nick, let's get on to the show. So Nicholas: Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Johnny: Alright, like Nick like you heard Nicholas said, he's a father of two daughters. So we're gonna go we're gonna go back to the beginning and talk about the journey into fatherhood. We're gonna talk about the moment that he found out he was gonna be a father, what it went through his mind, whether he felt like he was ready, the best part of fatherhood, sacrifice he had to make, and lessons he learned on the way of being a father. Nick, take me take me to the moment when you first found out you were going to become a father. Like where were you what was at the time? Nicholas: mm-hmm. I I was I was in the ninth grade. We was just we had just gra we had just left Fannie C. Williams. We and I was in the ninth grade when my first daughter count came along. And The for the way that I had been raised and for the way God my parents had instilled God in me, I didn't have too much fear. I didn't have too much fear. I had already knew what it was to work and ain't and then gain a dollar and you know, and and and being that a a man from a family of seven kids, I already knew what it was to for we had to take care of each other. So I already knew what it was to take care of kids and stuff. Johnny: Right. Nicholas: what I said was it wasn't easy. It wasn't easy, it wasn't easy, but I thank God for New Orleans and the strength that my parents instilled in me and then and and and and having grown up there i i it it gives you a great great perspective on life and and how to go about life and how to take in what to do and how to go do it. didn't do well with my first daughter, didn't do well. didn't do well, missed a lot of time. Missed a lot of time Johnny: Mm-hmm. Nicholas: with her. Missed a lot of time. And her and I here not so recently, but some years ago have come to a a conclusion about that. And have made have made great great great c a a great coming together about it, you know, you know, cause she understands more now that she's older. Johnny: Right. Nicholas: Johnny, I don't know if you remember Candy, because she went to read Johnny: Yeah. Nicholas: for a little while. She went to Reed for a little while. Johnny: I'm good. Nicholas: And that's that's when my first daughter is by but she she's done she's doing well for herself now. She's doing well for us. She stays Johnny: Well Nicholas: about three hours from me. But what I would say to any man is that just be careful who you make kids with. Be careful you with, Johnny: Yeah, yeah. yeah, so yeah, so true. Nicholas: be careful who you make kids with, you know. Johnny: I didn't hear that so many times. I guess I guess both yes Nicholas: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Johnny: that can go both ways for men and women. Like Nick said you never you never know who you never know that person is so Nicholas: Come in and I go both ways. That go both ways. That go both ways. Yeah. Yeah. Johnny: you really get to know So all right, Nick, so what was the first thing what was the first thing you worried about and realized I'm I'm about to be responsible for another human being? Nicholas: Preparing a place for my child. Preparing a place. I need to get a place. I need to get a place. I can't, I can't stay with me and my sisters and my well and my girlfriend and my child can't stay in the same house. A man's supposed to prepare a place. And I it Johnny: Right. Yeah. Nicholas: wasn't so much a worry, it was just that was my number one objective, preparing a place for me and my child and my and and and and the and the and my and her mother. That was my Johnny: Right. Nicholas: that was my number one thing, preparing a place. Yeah. Johnny: Right. I'm I'll probably I'm gonna hop into some of these questions on as we go through and I'm gonna give them to you. But I think for me wise I think Nicholas: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Johnny: I think I just didn't want to be a failure. That's one of my biggest worries 'cause you know, you hear stories and I always was like like when when Junior was first born, like the pick I'm gonna go back to the on the answer you had question before that, like when when Tina first told me, I c I somebody I knew, but when she first told me, man, I was on Cloud Nine, man. I was excited, I was like Wow, this this is happening. So I was excited. But Nicholas: Mm-hmm. Johnny: but you know, at the sh you know, she calmed down a little bit, I was like, damn, what kind of thought I'm gonna be. 'Cause you you hear these stories and you see a lot of these examples of dad like I'm gonna be there for him, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that. So Nicholas: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Johnny: that was one of my biggest fears at first, but I was like, nah, you know what? that I'm gonna I'm gonna do whatever it takes to make sure my kids are good to this day. So that's that's kind of my that was my biggest worry was like what especially being well hate to say it is where we're from and you see a lot of you see a lot of you see a lot. so Nicholas: Yeah. At that time, at that time, yeah. At that time, yeah. At that I don't know how it is now. I don't know how it is now. But at that time it was a lot of fathers that wasn't being fat it was a lot of so called men that wasn't being fathers, but so yeah, yeah. Johnny: Right. And and again I'm not shitting on my city and all. I know they got some good dads, but Nick could tell you we worked in a restaurant where we seen a lot of different dads, had a lot of different personalities. You hear some of these stories and I work Nicholas: Yeah, yeah. Johnny: I worked in a restaurant for eleven years since I was fifteen years old and I've heard and I've seen stories. So again, no one is not I'm not trying to disrespect y'all, but I'm just telling you what my personal what I see and it's called keeping it real. So it was a lot of stuff w I seen to that place from different dads. So Nicholas: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Johnny: I think that's my biggest fear of of of what I was gonna what I could become. So what do you remember the most the first time you held your daughters your daughter? Like on both daughters, or whichever one we wanna go first, sorry. Nicholas: My oldest daughter, the first thing I remember the most is Lord boy, you brought a child into this world. Now you're gonna have to, now you gonna have to work the rest of your life. Johnny: Yeah. Nicholas: I I laugh about it now, Johnny, but that that that that that that's the way I felt. I just I just know that I had to go to work. I just know that I had to go to work. I just saw this. I had to go to work. Johnny: Right. Right. And like you said, you just do what you had to because you was a teen, you didn't know Nicholas: I was a teen. That's all I saw I knew was to be a provider. Like I with that, pertaining to my second daughter, like my second daughter came along, they 15 years apart, 15, almost 16 years apart. With my second daughter, what I what I came to know is that what not everything that mama and daddy taught us that we should we should pass along to our kids. I had come Johnny: Right. Nicholas: to I had come to a better knowledge at that time. And so with my d second daughter had come a a better me and and a more educated more educated me. So so yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that that that was the difference. Johnny: Yeah, yeah. Nicholas: That was the difference, you know. Johnny: Right. I I agree with you that like you said on we a lot of stuff was taught, some of it it worked, some of it didn't. you can't raise every you can't raise every every child the same as we came up. You can you can I'm trying to say I guess you you can teach 'cause I still use a lot of stuff my mom t my mom and my dad taught me. But but some stuff Nicholas: Exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah. Johnny: I'd be like, nah, I can't go to them like that. I can't go with them like this. So I guess so Exactly. Exactly. Nicholas: It's a different day and time, man. It's a different day and time. It's a di and these and they learn different. Johnny when I got to teach it, my my daughter, I remember she was like in fourth or fifth grade and she started to learn division and s and stuff like that. And the way I learned it, Johnny: No way you go on. Nicholas: I was like, she said the she told her this she's the teacher's came, she came back home the next day. She said, no, the teacher told me to do it like this. Johnny: Yes. Yes, it is. Exactly. Nicholas: I said, well, I'm out of it. I don't know nothing about the way I was you carried it down and you write it down and you add that and you and you subtract it is totally different now. It's totally different now. And I let the teachers have it. I just go what and also what I learned to be an interactive parent. I went after she told me that I went and met the teachers and then I talked Johnny: Mm-hmm. Nicholas: to the teachers and I and they and they told me like, yeah, it's a different way. And then And we're trying to teach them a different way. And it worked out for a good. It worked out for a good. We'll talk about it as we go along. Johnny: Right right. All right. So next question I got for you, Nick, what's something Nicholas: Uh-huh. Johnny: what's something about fatherhood that surprised you once you actually experienced it? Like anything it was like Wow. We'll see. Nicholas: the wild factor about Father Hood. Johnny: Yes, doesn't that just surprise the heck out hell out of you? Nicholas: How much of a blessing it is. How much is a blessing it is? How much Johnny: Still my ass. Exactly. Nicholas: is a blessing? How much of a blessing it Johnny: Yes. Nicholas: is. For without my kids, and what they have taught, they have taught me a lot along the way. How much of a blessing it is. It's a truly blessing. God give people kids for a reason. God bless people with kids for it's a blessing, how much of a blessing it is. Johnny: Exactly. I'm Nicholas: How much is it Yeah, yeah. Johnny: with you. That's mine 'cause man, it's a blessing, man. Have these kids, man. Like, you know, I have three boys. I I have five boys, I hate you know, I hate the word stepchild 'cause step kids. you know, I had Marlin and Tina's two old oldest kids. I've been knowing them since they was nine nine months. Nicholas: Yeah, yeah, I remember. I remember. Johnny: So man, it was a blessing just at first to get my I hate to say practice, but get my practice to see how it is to be a stepfather and be a father, to see like Wow. I'm I'm mad 'cause you know, once to me, once you in with once you in with somebody, but they got kids, you gotta go all the way in. Ain't no ain't no time Nicholas: That's all you all the way in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Johnny: for you, ain't no ain't no time for no bullshit. You you with him or you are you not you with me or you're not. So you got to take the whole thing. But but once again, once Jr and them came in, it was like wha like kinda like you said, wow, I just got a child in this world. Man, so I wanna see I just go so it was a blessing Just to to see this. So I'm not Nicholas: Johnny, John, let me ask you this. How old were, because I remember you and Tina, all you used to work up at Yacht Club, how old were you with was that before you, before because you know you we l a lot of us lost contact after Katrina. How old were you when you and Katrina, I mean when you and Tina had y'all first son? Johnny: twenty-four. Let me let me make sure. Twenty-four or what's twenty twenty twenty I was twenty-four. I was twenty four or twenty-five 'cause I made a deal with my kids. I said make sure none all three of my boys said, make sure none of y'all have kids until y'all made twenty-five. That's how I was when I had Junior. I said, I don't wanna be a grandma Nicholas: No, no. Johnny: until then. And Junior just made twenty-five this year. So I think I was either twenty-four or twenty-five, but I tell my all three of my boys that. Nicholas: I without me having to do the math, were you were what you weren't still working at the DR Club, were you? You were still there? Johnny: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, 'cause Nicholas: You and you and me and Tina, yet I rem I I Johnny: Two. Nicholas: vaguely remember Tina being pregnant and y'all we us working over there. I vaguely remember. Johnny: Put it like this, she had left doing she had left when 'cause I I got I got out of there. I didn't want to I didn't want to be real with you. I didn't want to have the I Club. so I got out she had left and got she left before Jr was born. I'm gonna say that because Nicholas: Mm-hmm. Johnny: I think maybe maybe about a sh she probably worked there for a first month or two, if that long. Nicholas: huh. Johnny: But yeah, she had to she had to get out of there. Like, no, I do not want you at this damn yacht club. Exactly. Yeah. Nicholas: That's a different segment. Next next question. Johnny: All right. I got one for you, Nick on. What's what you Nicholas: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Johnny: gotta be you gotta go, you gotta be on my My barbershower after hours for talking about that. I got you. All right. What's Nicholas: I'm with it, I'm with it, I'm with it. Johnny: What's something about about being a fodder that has tested Nicholas: Mm-hmm. Johnny: you in a way you didn't expect it? I'm gonna say that. I guess Nicholas: Not not not not being able to mold them in a in a way that you wanna mold them. I'll give you an example. like you could mean well for your children. You could give everything. you could tell about the hardships and what your parents didn't give But all that don't matter to them. They gon they gonna do it. my kid from from my experience they mostly do what they want to do and and and most of the time through the grace of Johnny: Yeah it's Nicholas: God it it turns out great but being that I Johnny: Yeah. Nicholas: being that I that I suffered a whole lot of heartache pain misery strife and grief I feel like I don't want my children to go through that and Johnny: Right. Nicholas: but they you know when they get of age Then they do what they wanna do and and how they wanna do then stuff like that. So that's been my great greatest agony, you know. But I thank God that they still listen. They still listen. They Johnny: and then Nicholas: are still listening. They have enough respect and regard for me. They still listen. Yeah. Johnny: Right. That's that's just how kids are on 'cause I know my boys, I can tell something, but as soon as they hear from somebody else, they'll be like, Well, so to such said that said, Damn, didn't I just tell you that way? So sometimes they just need to hear it from other people. I I yeah, I I Nicholas: From other people, yeah. Yeah. And and I as as f as fathers we worry about that because when they hear from other people, they could they could mix it up and turn it up and switch it up any way they want to. And they'll go out here and do Johnny: Yeah, yeah. Nicholas: some fuck sh some fuck shit and and and then it w nine out of ten times is laying back in our lap as fathers, you know. With girls, you know, I don't know about boys. Like I don't know, I ain't I ain't boys, me I mean boys, we gon' box, boy. If I Johnny: Yeah. I I think I think I got to that I think I think I got to that that situation one time. Nicholas: Give me a second, Johnny, you got me excited. Boy, Johnny, sometimes I think about how why God ain't gave me no boys. I think about why God ain't gave me no boys. Johnny: And I'm the and I'm the other way around, Nick. I mean I I Nicholas: Really? Re see, so you know, you know. Johnny: always still I do not I did not want any girls. I I think I told you me and my wife between both us we got eight boys total. No girls. So I think she and Nicholas: No girl. Johnny: she just got her first granddaughter who was here a little while ago. So yeah, I Nicholas: Rally. Johnny: I never wanted girls. Nicholas: I ain't care one way or the other, man. I ain't care one way or whatever, whate Yeah. Whatever. Yeah. Johnny: It was a like I you said it was a blessing to have whatever whatever God had blessed me with. All right. You ready? Nicholas: Yeah. Johnny: All right. Next question I have on Nick. Let's talk about what's something your daughters have taught you about yourself. Nicholas: to to be more consistent. Be more consistent. Lean closer to my faith. Lean closer to my faith. Be more consistent. Everything ain't about me. Ain't everything about me and what the way I was raised and how I was brought up. Johnny: Right. Nicholas: Yeah, those three things I could thank off the top of the top of my head, Johnny. Those three things. Those three things. Johnny: Sure. I can tell you it it it it taught me patience. Cause man, you you you gotta have damn patience. Man, because Nicholas: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that definitely definitely. Definitely, definitely. Johnny: I know kids are even kids are kids do some stuff and be like, Lord give me strength, give me patience to how you do this, how Nicholas: Yeah. Johnny: you do that, because I I wanna make sure like we I say earlier, I I g I got my three boys, I certainly I gotta talk to each one of I can't talk Nicholas: Mm-hmm. Johnny: to Jonathan the same way I talked to Junior. I can't talk to J J the same way I talked to Jonathan. Jeremy. So I Nicholas: Yeah, yeah. Johnny: gotta I gotta watch how I talk to him. But but I don't know if you like this, but but my f by Junior by him being my my first, I had to learn a lot of stuff. And one day I I forgot I told him one time, I was like, hey man, I said, I've learned a lot from you being my first. He says, So use me as a test dent. I said, nah, it's just part of fatherhood. I'm growing up to Nicholas: That's right. That's right. Johnny: I didn't know stuff I can do now. I I couldn't I didn't know how to I I can I can do my other boys, Jonathan and Jeremy. I know how to handle situations that I couldn't handle with you. I didn't know how to do this, I didn't know how to do that. So with the kind of like with football. Nicholas: Same pain, same pain, same payment, same pain. Johnny: Like with football. Jimmy was the first, so I know what Jimmy did and what worked for him. So now I I had Jonathan. So I know what worked with Jonathan, now I know it worked with Jeremy, where Jeremy It's easy. But the Pig Bank like I said earlier, for for me all all my boys won was damn video games and f and play sports. And money Nicholas: Exactly, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Johnny: every once in a while to go here and there, but of course, you know, these days they don't go nowhere. So that's that's what Nicholas: Like they daddy, like they daddy. All he did play video games and and here here every now and again we hear he'll bring us the rumors. We'll he'll pack us all in that truck and bring us the rumors every nine and again. Every nine again just like they daddy. Just like they daddy Just like they daddy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Johnny: You know we wasn't that club Monday. There wasn't my club rumors. So Nicholas: Yeah yeah. Every nine again Johnny'll pack us all in that truck and bring us the rumors and bring us all home and drop us off. Good thing we all stayed in that same neighborhood. Sure did. Johnny: Right. Exactly. Sue So what's what's one more what's one memory with your daughters, Nick, that you could replay over and over again. 'Cause I I follow man one before you get to that before you answer the question, man. I f I follow you f I follow you on Facebook and you and all not out of other dads. I love when I see y'all going out to dinner. Just spending time with your f with your daughters. Well I s when I see men do that with their kids, man, I I love that shit, me. So what's one memory that you have Nick replay replay over and over with your daughters? Nicholas: here recently, be my oldest daughter stayed down in Katy. well, let's go a little big back further than that. with my oldest daughter, now you have to remember, like I said, they both they f they're 15 years apart. So one memory, Johnny: Fifteen. Okay. Nicholas: yeah, so one memory I replay over and over with my old with my y oldest daughter is that the first time I held her, I I I I I was in the hospital. I watched the mama push out and that. Well, she didn't Johnny: Yeah. Nicholas: push out, she had a C section. I I I remember that instance and not only that, her first first birthday Johnny: Okay. Nicholas: party. And how how it was her first day birthday party, how I vowed to like I was always gonna be there, you know, for her. And and no matter how how how and her and our mama got along, or whatever the despise became between I was always gonna be there Johnny: Yeah, you say the free one. I didn't want to use that. Nicholas: for her. And Well, you know, and people have their own plans in life, which a mama did, you know, and and and that and that that relationship went away. And with that I I had to go work abroad and I l my life took me through some other twists and turn. But ul ultimately Johnny: Right. Nicholas: I was always there for and I and I kept that vow. I kept that vow. I kept that vow. So that's that's one thing I I remembered with her coming along is that I was always gonna be there for. And with Johnny: Okay. Nicholas: my first daughter, I wasn't there like I was I wasn't there personally in person like I should have been, but I was there, I was there in other words, definitely financially and and I know that ain't that when when it comes down to it, that ain't shit to this day. I wish I was there more personally for the for for the to this day. And that's what I remember about my first daughter. With my second daughter, I had learned me some sense. Johnny: Yeah. Nicholas: Johnny, your partner had got out here and learnt me some sense. Johnny: Yeah. Nicholas: so much so I had got custody of my second daughter. My second daughter, she I got custody of her when I was when she was eight years old. And she Johnny: Mm-hmm. Nicholas: grabbed, she went from junior high to high school, and she's second year in college right now. And she goes to college right here in San Antonio. My set I had learnt me some sense, Johnny. what I what I had learned is that For kids, it ain't it ain't about no material. You did you gotta be there. You gotta be so though those are the instances that I I I I remember the most. Like, if that answers your question. I don't know if it I don't know because I get off such Johnny: Yeah, it does nothing. But you write all that's one thing you write about that material stuff, man. You answered what's this this should be a good one, yeah. What's something about your what's something about their personality that reminds you of you, of yourself. Nicholas: Renisha gonna do what the fuck she wants, just like her daddy. Don't give a fuck. My oldest, she don't give a fuck. She's gonna do what she wants. She's gonna do what she wants. And she's gonna tell you and she's gonna let you know. In a respectable manner, in a respectable manner, Johnny: Right. Nicholas: she does. She Renisha, Demi, she's subtle with it. They both of them remind me of me. But Demi is most subtle. She gon' she's gonna do what she wants, but she's gonna let me know in a most subtle way. And what I don't like about the subtle ways she let me know is because she let me know late and I'm gonna have to come out my goddamn pocket. And I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like it. Cause I'm a sucker now. I'm a sucker now. I'ma sucker now. Well, well, for yeah, I'ma sucker now. And they both let me know in subtle ways they gonna let they're gonna do what they wanna do and how they wanna do it. Johnny: Okay. Nicholas: And I'll be like, you ain't gotta go that route. I suffered. I did it. I know. I know what you d I'd like I you ain't gotta do that. But they that that both of them remind me of this me in that way. Both of them. Johnny: Yeah, I think with my boys, I think I say all of but let's Nicholas: huh. Johnny: see, up like this, Junior and my youngest and my oldest, Junior Jeremy, they're almost alike, but they're not. But man, Junior is one stubborn mother. I remember oof. Man, 'cause y you know shit you you know me you know I was my mom used to always tell me, she used to call me her little stubborn her little stubborn piece of what did she call me? Her little stubborn piece of shit. I'm she said I'm at I Nicholas: Really? I didn't know that. I didn't even know your mama cursed. I didn't even know that. I didn't even know your mama cursed. Johnny: managed I said it wrong. She said I I was a little spur rotten piece of shit. That was she's always telling me. So Nicholas: Really? Johnny, let me ask you this. Are you the you the second from the youngest or the youngest? Tina Johnny: The second from the youngest. Tina the youngest. Nicholas: the youngest. Tina the youngest. Yeah, Tina the Youngest, yeah. Johnny: Yeah, you might got Killer Killer Otis, the punk pumpkin we call the Vangel Nesquita. So I'm the but teenies always say I don't get teenies always say, that's how stubborn and spoiled I was. She always tell my mama, you treat him like he's a baby better, of y'all, you give him anything he wants. And I'm like, Hey, I'm I'm raised by three three women. So that's what my awful Nicholas: Johnny, but you were so quiet and you were so subdued. Like, how can you not? How can you not? How can a parent not? He don't do nothing. Like all he do is play a video game and be quiet and go to school. Johnny: Hey. Hey. That's right, but that's the part I wanted them to know about me. You know there's a lot of you know there's Nicholas: Well, you did a great job. You did a great job. Cause that's all your Johnny: a lot of them nights that can't we talk about we talk about another time. But you know I can make sure that's good. That's good. That's good. Nicholas: I don't know nothing about it. I don't know nothing about it. I don't know nothing about it. Johnny: But yeah, we had some good times. That's what I want a demo. But yeah, I would say Junior, Jane got my person he's he got my personality. He he is he takes so much until you until it he you can push him for you can push him for so long. Once you get him to that level, that's it. because I'd be around him sometimes, I'd tell my Jake, chill out, chill out. Jonathan Moricello He he's gonna think Nicholas: Mm-hmm. Johnny: about he won't think about every action he do in Germany, again he's suddenly he's just like Junior for me. So that's that's how my boys is. So Nicholas: The the older they get, man, the older they get, the older they get. And and we have to thank God for a greater knowledge, John, and because he only give them to us for a little while. And the only thing they did they only and then the only thing we could have instilled in them is to respect me and and and and we have to and we have to know as parents when to back off at least and let them go and let them go, you know. Let them go, let them go. Johnny: Right. Yeah, and that's that's a part that's I know that's hard for me, 'cause again me 'cause Nicholas: And you both. Yeah. Johnny: you know, I had Ginny been with Genie been rocking with me since day one. even when even Nicholas: You was young, you we was young, yeah, we was young. Johnny: when me and the mom had split when I ways, Jinny came with me. So Genie rocked with me when she had all the boys, it was me and Jinnya. and I talk he w he was with me from the Lows to the highs, old to the highs. So that's why Nicholas: Yeah, yeah. Johnny: that's why me and him was so are so close. And that's that's why I say it's hard, but I like you just said, we gotta let go. so that's Nicholas: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Johnny: that's one thing. So what's that one thing about your kids, Nick, that make you instant make you instantly smile? Like they can do something to tell you something, you'd be like, Damn, I love my kids and give you that smile that'll take care of like you gonna have one of them horrible days where you just wanna Nicholas: Mm-hmm. Johnny: he just almost snapped the pill or somebody and he'd be like, you know what? Thank ya, I needed that. Nicholas: Here recently when they just when my my daughter, my youngest daughter just popped up and came and seen me. Cause she stays on campus at college. Here recently when she when she and I and I try to tell I try to tell that to my oldest daughter, but it's it's it's it's far in in between when she does that. When they just show up at my door. When they just Johnny: Okay. Nicholas: show up at my door, just show up at my door. And without I they ain't gotta call me and I and Johnny I bust the door down, I take the door off the hinges and let in. Come see about me, just come sit with me for a little while. Yeah, when they come see about me. Yeah. Yeah. Johnny: Yeah. I think me say me and my boy said I love you 'cause every time I like Jonathan, he's in college, Earth the full we got the phone, I love you dad. And I love you. So that's the that's one thing we always in our our conversation with. So just hearing that and even like when I'm sitting on the sofa and he'll come watch and they'll come watch TV with me, I just wanna talk. 'Cause a lot again, a lot of kids don't like talking to their parents. So To have a have my kids to come back and and ask me some questions or just sit down and watch T me, I love that type of stuff. Nicholas: Let me ask you this, Johnny, being that you asked that question. And Johnny: Mm-hmm. Nicholas: I know I didn't. I know I didn't. Did you get that did you get that affection from your parents growing up? Cause my mama I didn't get my first hug from my mama until never from my either one of my my daddy or my stepdad. I didn't get that affection from my mama until like after my youngest brother had got killed down there in New Orleans. Did you get that affection from your mom and daddy growing up? Johnny: Yeah, I I got that a lot from them. the love report, the thugs and everything, Nicholas: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Johnny: checked on me. So that's that's I I I got that e f from both parents, I'm gonna say my mom and dad. to this day Nicholas: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Johnny: 'cause yeah, so I I c I could say I did on that one. Nicholas: That's a blessed thing, man. I d I didn't get that. So so that was a great I I I thank God for blessing. Cause my me and my daughters do that on we we both all three of us, we do that. Like we we see we tell each other we we love her. I know what it is now. Wherefore I didn't get that love. I didn't get that like that growing up. I didn't get that like that growing up. Yeah. Johnny: Right. 'Cause in in me at the I had to put that into my kids because well, like I talked about in my my podcast about the recovery can Katrina man, that being on that roof made me look at shit a whole lot different. Like Nicholas: You better tell people you love them while they yet here. You better tell Johnny: Exactly because Nicholas: people that you love them while they yet here. You don't know what could happen. You don't know what could Johnny: Right. Exactly. Cause I like I said, I was I was praying and I told I told God said you get me off this roof, man, I'll better my life and be more close to my family. That's why I like like these things here I got on my s on me. I got all my boys these cars, that's why you see me this all the time. Each one of my boys have this. That means we all think about each other or you know, we see each other. Exactly. Nicholas: Constant reminder, constant reminder, Johnny: And I normally wear these bands on Nicholas: constant reminder. Johnny: I normally wear these bands, I don't have them on me today, but I normally have three different bands. And one of each one for each one of my boys, so like I say I have one of them bad days. I know I don't get the study too much have on them bad days. I look at what I'm working for. I have one for Junior, one for Jonathan, one for Jeremy. So when I want to just go off at work or just golf on somebody, I have to think about, is it worth it? I'm doing it, I'm doing this for them so Nicholas: Yo chillin, you're chillin'. You're chillin'. Yeah, you're chillin. You just gave me a great idea, man. Johnny: Exactly, exactly. So it's Nicholas: You just gave me a great idea. Yeah. I like that. I love that, man. Johnny: yeah. Okay. So every time we see each other, we all got it on. If if they don't break it or lose it. But I've I I've seen them with it. I've seen them sometime. Exactly, exactly. Exactly. So Nicholas: They they they doing better, they getting older, they do it better, they gonna hold on to it. They do it better. Johnny: So Nick, let's let's switch over a little bit. people always talk about fatherhood, about the beautiful side of it, but Nicholas: Mm-hmm. Johnny: but being a dad isn't always easy. It's the pressure, the sacrifice, also there's frustration and sometimes you have no idea what you get into. So let's talk about what part of fatherhood that you wish somebody told you well somebody prepared you for. Let's say that prepares you for Nicholas: Feed them sir guns. Johnny: Still doing that. Still doing that. Nicholas: Boy feeding them, Jung. No, I Johnny, I can't say, man. I can't I can't answer that. again, like you, it was how many it was you and your brother and your and you got two sisters. It was four of y'all. So it it five of y'all. So it's seven of us. Well, that ain't too much of Johnny: I mean that one. Nicholas: a difference. I I I can't say it wasn't no part that what I was unprepared for. Unless you go back to my my youngest daughter and you know that that just sums it up to us being young. We like we wasn't ready. But what I did know, what I did what I did know is that prepare a place and from that everything else gonna come. But with my with my with my youngest daughter, it wasn't it wasn't nothing that I wasn't prepared for. Johnny: We're paying but Nicholas: Like it wasn't like I knew God. I know how to pray. I know how to fast. I was on one accord regard. I know how to pay bills. I I stayed on a job. It wasn't it wasn't none it wasn't not surprising. Wasn't not surprising. It wasn't not surprising. Johnny: Right. Yeah. Nicholas: And and I come from a family from my mama had seven kids. My grandmother had five. My great grandmother had thirteen. So, you know, I ca I just said I always was, and you probably could attest to this, I always was one just sit back in the corner and pay Johnny: Mm-hmm. Nicholas: attention and learn and and and take in stuff. So it wasn't nothing it wasn't nothing surprising, you know. It wasn't not surprised. Johnny: Yeah. Nicholas: Just get Just got out there and did what a man was supposed to do, Mr. Lawson. Just got out there and did Johnny: Right. Right. Nicholas: what a man was supposed to do. That was it. That's it. Wasn't not Johnny: Yeah, I Nicholas: surprising. Johnny: I think for me preparing you on call twenty-four seven in the off days. and Nicholas: That's right. That's right. That's right. Johnny: and that's something I took I took personally wrong because I I I I just wanted to make sure that I was there for my kids. So Monsieur make sure they went f went what do you call it? I forgot what I would need I forgot the word I'm trying to say, but I just wanted I just knew twenty-four seven, I'm you know, you you see people be like, okay, I can bring my mom's I can do this, I can do that. I could have but Nicholas: Had that luxury. I didn't win. You may Johnny: Yeah. Nicholas: have had that luxury, John. I didn't have that luxury. No, no. Yeah, yeah. Mama told mama told Johnny: Yeah. So that I think that's pretty much and Nicholas: me when I was 15, said you get out here and get the doing your doing that and to make a baby. I don't watch. Man, I didn't see it already. No, Sharon Pooh wasn't playing that. Johnny: I I ask I I can Nicholas: Yeah, yeah. Johnny: admit I had some help, but most of the time I was I was I but Nicholas: That's a blessed thing, man. That's a blessed thing. Johnny: but but you know me another t a lot of stuff a lot of times I really didn't like too many people around my kids, man, 'til they made a certain age. So like Nicholas: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Johnny: yeah, that just was me. You you I wouldn't let too many people hold or especially don't one thing you want to see me snap, put your put your mouth let a let a family member or a friend try to put their lips around my kids. you'll see you'll see that whole different side of Johnny on that one. So so that's I was on that one. So what's how about this one, Nick? how do you balance being a father while still trying to maintain your own identity, career, friendship, and person like personal life? Nicholas: being that both of my girls are off on on their own and doing their own thing now, I only thing I could recollect too is When they w when they was younger and I ain't I ain't it wasn't no choice. It wasn't no choice. My Johnny: Mm-hmm. Nicholas: children came first. My children Johnny: Exactly. Nicholas: came first. And just like a mother, like just like a grave mother, wherever I went, my children with. Wherever Johnny: Right. Nicholas: I ate, my chairin, my children ate. Wherever I slept, my children slept. You know, and if motherfucker ain't understand that, then fuck with him, you know. Fuck with him, you know. Johnny: Right. I think I want you now I think at first it was it took some time to to adjust, especially like like I told you it was just me and Jenny at first in dating wise for me. 'cause I would I would go I had this rule when I when I dated, you couldn't come around my kids for ninety days. 'Cause I didn't want my b I didn't want my boys to see me with different women coming in Nicholas: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Different people have yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Johnny: and out. So I didn't want them seeing that. So If you hung around to see ninety days, you couldn't meet my kids. I used to man I I lost I had a lot of women who used to get mad about that, which I'm like, I would think they would respect that more because if I'm dating a woman who have kids, especially a daughter, it's I wouldn't even want my want that man I'm dating around my daughter, first off, or any my kids. So I used to women used to get mad with me because I I didn't let them see my kids like you don't think I'm gonna be around? Say it's not that. Nothing's problem with it. I just don't want that's just my rule. I have a ninety day rule. You can't see my boys, my kids until ninety days. I won't let you see even see them on number day number eighty nine. It gotta be ninety days. So that's the problem I had at Nicholas: Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely. Johnny: first. But once I started dating Nick, be real with you, and I started getting that problem a little bit, I was kinda like, you man, fuck it. If you can't respect my wishes, you're not from me. But that at that Nicholas: Yeah. Johnny: point in as far as work, I always try to find jobs where I can be there for my kids like well, I won't miss my since since my boy's been playing ball since Junior was in fifth grade, sixth grade. I never missed a game, a school event, a day in my life from from all my boys from being kids to now. Yeah, that's why you see me always somewhere. Nicholas: Mm-hmm. Yes, sir. Yes sir. Mm-hmm. Johnny: now that's how I wasn't coming up. So it used to be hard at first, but I found I figured a way to make that work. I found out what works for me career-wise. In friendship in again as as I I say earlier friendship, that's kinda into my personal life part, so I kinda kinda covered that one. I'm sorry, what's you about say something, Nick? Nicholas: And and with that, Johnny, between both of my daughters, I could count on one hand the women they know me to associate with. I could count on one hand. Johnny: Same yeah. Nicholas: One hand, I could count on one hand, the women they know me to be with and associate with. two serious relationships, and the rest of them was associated. One hand, I could count on one hand. Between my two or daughters, and they 15 years apart. One older than the other. I kind on one hand, they know the the women they know me to be with and associate with. The both of my Johnny: Right. Nicholas: daughters. Something a man just don't do, man. Something Johnny: Right. Nicholas: a man just don't do. Johnny: I agree. Sure, I agree with you. let's see what I got for you next. What's what's one parenting mistake you've made you have you've made that taught you something valuable? Like I guess let me give you an example. Like with with me, I learned that you as being a parent, you can't be their friend. You have to be a parent because you don't want I've I've I I seen too many people, especially the stuff they put on social media and I seen parents that try to be more friends than a parent. And when a child starts talking crazy to you, you can't do nothing but blame yourself. Cause you wanna be that that friend like this friends that he hang that they hang out with. So that's something I learned at a real early age. Like, you know what? 'cause Jenny never he never gave me no trouble. But I I've I've I've prepared myself for that. I'm like, you know, Jay, you gotta take a step back. You can't always act like you his friend Let let them do their own thing. So that I think that'll Nicholas: Mm. Johnny: be my part. that that taught me just can't be friends with your kids. Gotta be parents first. Nicholas: That definitely that de I I I know that going into parity, especially with my second daughter. I would say one thing one thing that You can't do is that the question you asked? Johnny: Yeah. What that's I'm sorry. One one parameter mistake you've made has ultimately taught you of something valuable. Nicholas: Try not try not to be hard on them when they get no getting up to go to school in the morning. That would that was that was something that's something I kinda regret with my with my second daughter. I was like she she would do stuff and I get up in the morning and I scream and holler at her about it, you know, and I you know, I let her and and I thank God that he overseen her in that situation. and he gave her a great peace of mind. He gave her a great piece, I should say. But a lot of times I get up in the morning and I be fussing at her. And looking back on it, it it wasn't it w you know, it w it was about something, but it really wasn't about nothing. I should have just waited, waited and waited at but try not to have so much to say in the morning so they can go out and have be have a productive day with that without that without that on it. That that's one thing. That's the only thing I could really think of. yeah. Give them when you when when they wake up in the morning to go to school, you could buy them all the tennis shoes and all the clothes and all that in the world. They could be the Johnny: Mm-hmm. Nicholas: best dressed one, have the best book sack, the bet the esprit, remember the esprit book sack and a jazz and the jazz sport, the jazz sport, the book book sacks they used you can have them with all that. Johnny: Yeah, yeah, yes, yes. Yeah. Nicholas: But if you don't give encouraging word and give and show tell them to go out and that and give a hug and tell you love and go out and do their best, mom and daddy, believing in them, and you, you, you, you, you fussing at them in the morning, then that that that that that that that that that's one thing I look back on. I wish I had not done that. But again I say, through the grace of God. God seen my child through that and she she she's doing well for herself. Yeah. I wish I hadn't Johnny: Yeah. I Nicholas: done that. Johnny: I agree with you on that, Nick. nothing like giving that encouragement before I get to the next question. I do that s I do that too on like the day of my boys game, I always say, Hey, let's have a good game, pray before you go in there. whatever happened happens, just I I try to encourage them. if if Nicholas: And root and root and they room be total fucked down. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I be mad, Johnny. I be you You see I know Johnny: I don't I don't even go in the room. I don't even go in the room. Nicholas: I ain't got I got see I be mad, man. Johnny: Yeah, I t I just stay out of the room. I'm I've I've come in there and fuss so many times. I sometimes I send my I got the rob my I got my robot Nicholas: Yeah. Johnny: vacuum. I call it Rosie from the Jetsons the Jet the Jetsons. I send Rosie in there. Just just give her whatever you can get, just come back, Rosie. Nicholas: just gonna Johnny: So next question I got for you, Nick. What's one thing you what's one thing you wanna make sure that your daughters never have to question about you about how you feel about her, about them about them. Nicholas: The loyalty I have for them, they can get the loyalty that I have for my children. They could come home anytime if if I'm 90 and they 60, they could they could it's a place here for Johnny: Mm-hmm. Nicholas: It's a place here for It's a place here for The loyalty I have for my children. My children first. Man don't Johnny: Mm-hmm. Nicholas: have loyalty for his children first. You gotta question his loyalty overall. Gotta question his loyalty overall. Mu first God, then his children. Then Johnny: Yeah, that's sure. Nicholas: his mama, then his mama. That's right. Johnny: Yeah. Nicholas: The loyalty I have for my children. They come back home. They can always come here. They can always talk to me. And I Johnny: Thank you. Yeah. Nicholas: got no reason to ever tell me no lie because Nicholas Poole been through a little bit of everything, you know. Be Lord be Johnny: Yeah. Right. I took my boys all the time. Nicholas: honest, the loyalty. Yeah, I've been through a little bit of everything. Come, man, come talk to me. I might fuss a little bit and then I'm gonna sit the fuck down and shut up because I know you grown. I'm gonna gr I know Johnny: Yeah. Right. Nicholas: you grown and I'm gonna say, well let's let's let's do this and we work it out. Johnny: Right. Nicholas: I want my children to know that I'm always loyal to them. My children, yeah. Johnny: Yeah. Nicholas: The Lord yeah I have, yeah. Johnny: I think for me, I know my boys, I want them to make sure they know that daddy gave his all. I sacrificed so much, I did so much. there's times I didn't want to do it. I could I was so tired. Like like now, I'm I'm drained. And come from going to 'cause me and my wife we on the road every weekend. Friday, Saturday and Sunday Friday and Saturday we're on the road. So but between that work, doing my sh podcast shows, man, I this the this the most I've been so drained but that's one thing I want my kids they that's one thing they can I never want them to question is the sacrifice and the what I've done for because I never want them to say you did this for John and you did this for him, you didn't do it for me. Everybody the same piece of equal slice of pie. So that's one thing I have for f as far as Nicholas: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Johnny: for me. so let's see. a all right everybody we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. Alright everybody, like welcome back. We're back from our break. And we're going to get into this segment I call Man to Man. So Nick, what do what does being a good man mean to you now compared to before you became a father? Nicholas: Before I came a farther, hear that I'm about to make fifty in another week. no, not another week this weekend. Johnny: This weekend. Nicholas: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Shout out to the Libra. Shit. Part it, party, party, party, baby. what what makes being a good man from my perspective is Having a sense of love and respect for your community and for your kids and for the for the environment that you encompass. if your parents are still to be fortunate to live in f at the age that I'm at, for you for your parents and just just just just having an all-around and a great encompass about the world and and wish you w Whi which way you live, you know, and how you carry yourself. Johnny: Yeah. Nicholas: How you carry yourself. And it don't it it all has to do with your p kids and your parents and it just in in general, in general. And for example, wherever I go, whoever I meet, I'm very respectful for to where I don't care about color, I don't care about race, about none of that. I'm I'm respectful and and and and And with that, I exude respect back. I'm very well respected wherever I go, wherever I touch down, I'm very well respected. And that's because people I exude that from myself. yeah, you you you you can't be out here and then and and just think you're gonna have that rah-rah motherfucking mentality and think that's gonna go exude from everywhere you go, like because people are different. And like and I think Johnny: Right. Nicholas: that com a lot of that comes the a lot of that that answer comes from I'm well traveled. I traveled a lot. I I worked a job abroad for like seven, ten years, working on working on a boat and stuff. And and I met people from Johnny: I got you did it. Nicholas: all the yeah, from all over the world and stuff. And so yeah, you just got you got you got you gotta be a well traveled person, man, and you gotta have respect for for whoever may encompass your life, you know. Johnny: Right. I think for me wise, I think it's more of selfishness. 'Cause before before Jean was born, it was all even though sometimes it's still like that sometimes, but it's a lot it's a lot a lot not it's a lot lower now, not like it used to be, but being selfish like is Bobby Bobby now have that's how I was before night before he was born, but afterwards I'm like, man, it's it's about my kids. It's can't everything can't be about Johnny. Johnny this, Johnny that, nah, I gotta do about my kids. So I think that's Nicholas: Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Johnny: that's the one thing for me. What's the what's the kind of example do you want to set for your daughters when it comes to how a man should treat them? Nicholas: If a man ain't on one accord with God, and a man don't get up and provide, then he ain't no ban. And I and I think I've said that greatly for my daughters. I think I've instilled that for both of them. If a man ain't on one accord with God, and he don't get up and provide for his family. then they ain't the they ain't the type of man you wanna Johnny: And the more fine. Nicholas: be. They ain't the one man you want for yourself. They ain't the man Johnny: Right. I think Nicholas: you want for yourself. Johnny: I agree. I think for me, I you know, I got boys, I always tell them, respect treat treat them like you want treat like you want your mom to be treated. And I came up with four four women and and I learned from my sisters and my mom, you know, they always was hard on me of what I should do and what I shouldn't do. Like my sisters would get on me Every every day I used to go on to and tell this day they'd be like, he if he don't open that door up for you, you don't walk through it. You excuse me. Make sure he open car door, make sure you open up this door, make sure he do make sure you do that. So that's one thing I try to tell my my boys, you know, try to just make sure you respect and try and I want to say another thing I I I try to tell them, just this is respectful, I'm gonna say. Just always just the same way you want your grandma and want your mama to be treated, that's how you do the the women you date. That's Nicholas: Exactly, yeah. Yeah. Johnny: so that's something I always been big on. So Nicholas: That's a d y y y you you see how novice this is between the two of us because you got boys and I got girls. it's just we Johnny: Yeah. Nicholas: have to we have to instill we have to put it to in a different way. It'd say diff yeah. Johnny: Yeah. Right. When I first when I first like I said, I was first trying to get somebody to do the show, that's what I thought about you. I Nick got all girls. I got boys. Nicholas: Yeah, yeah. Johnny: so I'll try to find because if I had a I'm I'm doing I'm doing a part two of this show, but I know if I had somebody with boys, we have probably damn near the same answer. So Nicholas: Same thing, y'all have the same opinion. Same opinion. Johnny: So I like it that again, I you you learn you learn from me, I learned from you, but I like the way we do we mixing it together, so be like, okay, that's how you would handle it, I'm gonna handle it this way. what part of yourself are you working hardest to improve because you know your kids are watching you? Nicholas: my health because i want to live to be 199 years old and to be a a little more consistent although i'm very consistent with them but to be a little more consistent because sometimes sometimes they make me so upset and i i back out because they want to do their own thing but a lot of times i back out and i back out with them needing my help But they need my help in the wish in a way that they wanna run what they wait while and from what I learned, my money spent I I I'm gonna spend my money like how I wanna spend my money, spend my time, I wanna spend my fucking time. But I but I but with that I I'm I'm learning to like if I say I'm gonna do it, if even if it goes their way, I I should I I should do it. To be a little more consistent and yeah. Yeah, be a little more consistent with them. Yeah. Johnny: Right. I wish you well. That that help part, that's where I make sure I do my my my checkups, get my get everything checked 'cause like you just said, I wanna I wanna be around Nicholas: Telling you, man. Telling Johnny: the the running running and play with my grandkids. So grandkids. So I'm I'm with you on that. Gotta stay healthy. Hey Nicholas: Great, great guy and chilling. Great great gang chilling, yeah. Yeah. Johnny: hey, we're doing a excuse me. Hey and also we're doing a a show in the future, everybody. It's gonna be about mental health and also Men getting checked out and making sure you're healthy. So we got a couple of shows coming up. So again, if y'all interested in those, hit me up or hit Tanya up. We got some shows about mental health and just taking care of yourself, getting checked, getting that that colon check. doctors. 'Cause a lot of I don't get off the subject but I just gotta throw this in there. A lot of men, people only I can say men, but a lot of say men too. They don't like to get checked. Sometimes they wait when they wait too they wait till the last minute, and then it'll be almost too late. you have to So men, get get get get get checked. Alright, I'll let get that out. Nicholas: For real. For real, man. I just had a co-worker die. We didn't work that long together. He might have been there might be six months. But man, he was a worker, John, and he would work together. called me and him was just texting. I just texted him that sketch, I just emailed him his schedule that morning. That afternoon, his wife had called me and told me that he died, passed away from a heart attack, man. 56 years old. 56 Johnny: Mm. Nicholas: years old, man. I'm telling this happened recently, about a month ago. Get that check. Get that check, y'all. Get your booty old check. Get all that check. Johnny: In this exactly. Nicholas: Get your booty old. Get the colon check. Get all that. Ain't shit. You don't even have Johnny: Exactly. Yeah. Nicholas: to, they don't have to do it. They don't do it like they do it. You could you you present a you present a stool. You present a stool Johnny: Exactly. Put you to sleep. Nicholas: chip stamp. You ain't gotta run their finger unless you want that. If you that type of between you and your guard. But you get a stool sell, you ain't gotta do all that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta tell them, you gotta educate them, Johnny. Gotta educate them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They ain't gotta put your free in a booty no more. Get your colon check, man. Get your colon check. Johnny: He gotcha Exactly one hundred right so that being said, do you think I know we talked earlier about you being a teen dad, so you think b becoming a teen dad made you grow up faster than a normal dad would have to? Nicholas: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I ain't had I ain't had a lot of time to be in a club and stuff like that. I had to go to work, man. I had to go to work. I ain't I I you know I parted some. You know, you know we party. We parted in. If anybody was throwing a party, Nick was. Fruit trays, Johnny: yeah, I remember. Nicholas: shrimp and fish trays, motherfu Johnny: Ha ha ha. Nicholas: I ain't gonna say no more 'cause we on a family program in here. We had but Johnny: Yeah. We we have some fun. No I wanna say we had some fun, no no no no Diddy Nicholas: Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I had to grow up a little f and and and I I regret to mention this, Johnny, because we talked about this here a second ago. You had a little support for you had a lot of support from your family. I ain't have that. I have that. So I had to grow up fast. I had to grow up fast. Mama and daddy been walked off and left. You know, shout out to They taught me all they could while they was when when he was with me. But Mama and Daddy had been left. They had been left, you know. And I thank God for it to this day 'cause it taught me how to be a strong man and and and stand on my own, you Johnny: Remember. Nicholas: know. And yeah, I had to grow up fast. I had to grow up fast. Yeah. Yeah, I had to grow up fast. Johnny: Yeah. Yeah, that's Yeah, that's that's why I say I know s I you some I know your story. That's why I said you was always seemed like a hit on another level than us as te as teenagers. Because Nicholas: Yeah. Johnny: you had to take care of a household with not just you, your sisters, your brothers, and then your your daughter. Nicholas: You remember that, Johnny, you remember that? Johnny: yeah, I remember you was the man in the house at a teenager. I remember that. yeah, I remember. A lot of a lot of people Nicholas: You remember that? You remember that? Man. Johnny: couldn't handle that, but you made sure you were. Worked them yacht club hours getting your old time, putting in work, working your party. So I remember you Nicholas: Mm. Johnny: as a teenager while we was in high school, you took care of the house. I remember so Nicholas: All I can say about that, Johnny, and this might be another program, but God has greatly rewarded me in these lot of years. God has greatly rewarded me in these lotter years. So yes. Johnny: no, this the pro Nicholas: So yeah. Johnny: yeah, this the program for it, man. Hey, seeing it. Ain't nothing wrong with with we're talking about your blessing, what you've been through. So this next segment I got Nick is called Quick Hit. It's kinda like I'm gonna ask some questions and Nicholas: Mm-hmm. Johnny: off the top of your head, just give me the first one that the first one that goes with you. I'm wearing that. Nicholas: One one one word asses, one word asses? Johnny: yes, I'm gonna give you two two choices. You tell me which one you you rather have. Nicholas: All I'm gonna be but go ahead. Johnny: Ha ha ha. Nicholas: No, I'm just joking, I'm just joking, go ahead, go ahead. Johnny: All right, Josh the High Seat. All right. Which one you would have, Nick, love or communication? Nicholas: Yeah. Why you couldn't say love or loyalty? But communication, communication, communication, yeah, communication, yeah, yeah. Johnny: I'm with you. Without communication, it won't work. Can't get the love. Trust a chip trust a chemistry. Nicholas: Trust, cause chemistry is wavering. Chemistry is wavering. Trust, I'd rather trust you. Yeah. Chemistry is wavering. You Johnny: Right. Nicholas: might we might have chemistry tonight and might not have Johnny: But vouch. Nicholas: zero K chemistry tomorrow night. Yeah, it's I'd rather trust you. I'd rather trust Johnny: Right. I Nicholas: you. Johnny: I say it might be chemistry tonight, but you might you might go through my wallet and with no trust. Family time Nicholas: Yeah, hey yeah, yeah, yeah. Johnny: family time or personal time. Nicholas: Personal time because if I can't take care of me then I can't take care of nobody else. Personal time. I know you said one word. I know you said I suppose just a yeah, okay, okay, okay. Johnny: That's a ch nah you good, you good, you good, you good. I want you I'm with I want you now, that's a trick room for me. So like but like you said, you gotta have personal time you yourself together. Nicholas: Personal time, yeah, yeah. Johnny: Strict dad or laid back dad? Nicholas: He'd not he'd not laid back. He'd not laid back. With both of I was laid back. But more laid back now than ever. Johnny: Yeah. With with Nicholas: Yeah. Johnny: me, I'm I'm laid back there. Me I always been laid back. So I'm laid back everything. Husband, dad, she friend, everything. So Nicholas: Yeah. Johnny: what's all the what's harder? Being a father or being a man? Nicholas: Being a father, I was born a man. That ain't shit. I ain't I was born a man. Johnny: Right. You're right 'cause any anybody I was about to say Nicholas: Yeah, yeah, being being a father, yeah. You have to learn being a father. B be being a man, you being I born a man. I'm born a man. Johnny: Right, anybody can anybody can be a man but being a father, that takes time. That that takes work. That's not nothing you can just say I'm a father. Nah, put in w put in work for that. Nicholas: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was raised with seven with seven kids and my grand great grandmother had thirteen and then we go back and forth to the country and we learn we learn we learn being father yeah. I mean but be it but yeah, yeah, yeah. Being being being being a father, being a father, being a father. Johnny: Right. Describe what's one word that describes fatherhood for you, Nick? Nicholas: Be be being honest and being being on one accord with your kids, watching out for your kids, putting God first, leaning on Jesus Christ and putting God first and never giving up. Never Johnny: Yeah. Nicholas: give up, you don't give up. You ain't no ain't no give up in it. Never give up. Never give up. What that is, Johnny: I think Nicholas: the whistle for you to give up, what that is, the will who that is blowing Johnny: No. Nicholas: the whistle. That's that's Miss Tanya in the background saying, get up on that. Yeah, that's your whistle, Get up, you better you, yeah. That's Miss Tanya saying it's time for you to get off that fucking phone. That Miss Tanya saying, get off that phone. You a fucking lie. You a lie. Yeah, yeah. Miss Tanya, I don't mean no harm. That got a whistle. Johnny: I'm glad I No back I gotta put a I gotta put little I'm in I'm in my I'm believing or not I'm believ believe it or not, I'm in this I'm in this hot ass garage no, no, this this the Nicholas: Uh-huh. I know I know that was a bad grind. 'Cause it it told me if I wanted to put something on there. Boy, you better go get to one Johnny: real this is a real background. But not the one that you talk, not the that's a real background. I'm talking about like Yeah, Nicholas: that's a real that's a real background. Okay, okay, okay. Johnny: but I'm saying I'm in a garage. Normally I do my my sports talk in my barber chair right here because I you she got a my wife she's a stylist. So I got a barber shop in my garage. Nicholas: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Johnny: But the Nicholas: huh. Johnny: thing the the the whisk the buzzing you keep hearing that's coming from I gotta change the barrier on my it's the the internet thing, it's suddenly eighteen T Avenue. Nicholas: Stop lying, That's that woman. Whistle, get a come on and come on, come on, drop them draws, Come on in this room. All right, what's now? I won't, I won't I want 20 more questions. You sent me all them fucking questions. I want all 20 of them. A very blessed and subtle man. A very man off off of off of God's own heart. And the God's own. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A very blessed and subtle man. I've seen some hard time, Johnny. Like Hurricane Katrina. Very blessed, a very blessed and subtle man. Johnny: Right. Nicholas: Off the God's own heart. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Johnny: Right. So look so what's that one way to describe you right now at this minute? Nicholas: At peace. Johnny: I was I was gonna say the same thing. Man. Nicholas: At peace, at peace, at peace, at peace. I'm at peace. At peace. Johnny: Man, it's beautiful. It's beautiful once you get get to that, man. It's it's when nothing can bother you or no matter what the what Nicholas: At peace. Johnny: the devil sent at you, you can just nah not today. Go keep going. But man, nothing like being at peace, man. I love it. I love it. I love it. Nicholas: At peace, yeah. At peace, yeah. Yes, sir. At peace. I love that for you too, man. For real. For Johnny: Thank you, thank you, thank you. Nicholas: real. Johnny: Okay, Nick, what's one thing every father should teach their children? Nicholas: Independency. Johnny: I agree. Nicholas: Independency. Teach your children how to be independent. Now, surely we want our daughters to have husbands, some great husbands someday, and surely we want our sons to have great wives and kids someday. But ultimately, you teach your kids everything that you know you teach, you instill and then everything for for for it may come a day where they have to be on their own. Teach them independency. Teach them independency. Johnny: Exactly. Nicholas: Teach independency. Johnny: Exactly. I agree with you that all right, Nick. what's the one thing every daughter should know about herself? Nicholas: Everything a daughter should know about herself? Johnny: Yeah, that one thing good daughters that one thing a daughter should know about herself. Nicholas: Why not a son? Shit. But one thing a daughter should know about herself is that if hard times hit, she call and lean on her daddy, she call and lean on her father. First of all, she call and lean on God and Jesus Christ. And if if if that ain't if that's taking a little bit of time, she call lean on her daddy, call and call her daddy. And Yeah, and between God and our daddy, they they make everything all right. They make everything Johnny: All right. Nicholas: all right. They make everything all right. Johnny: Alright. Alright, Nick, we're gonna we're gonna do this new segment I I caught I got on my show. It's called Get It Off Your Chest. So Nicholas: Mm-hmm. Johnny: if you wanna I'll give you a I'll let you go first or you want me to go first. I'll give you like a a good two minute a minute rant if you wanna get some shit off your chest. Nicholas: My I thought I did everything out with all the questions you asked. Johnny: I know I thought you probably I thought you probably asked some questions. I mean something that I didn't ask. So why I'll start with this part then and I'll go with this. Hey, I wanna Nicholas: Okay. Johnny: I wanna say this to a lot of dads who always through social media and and and and through people I've known all my life or people I've seen and come across through through my life, they always talk about not being able to get custody of of their kids. I wanna normally I don't share this type of stuff with everybody, but I'm gonna go ahead and share this since it's called Get Off My Chest. I've a lot of people don't know my my my history or my past where I have custody of all three of my boys. And a lot of times I hear people always saying, Man, the the judge is gonna do this, the judge is gonna do that. Hey, you won't know until you you it's all it's all up to the man above to come up with this with the with the verdict. I've been to court a couple of times. It cost me a money. But in 2017, eighteen, I think it was, I got custody of all my boys. Like I said earlier, Jenny always lived with me, but I have custody of all three of boys. And when I was going to court, I had a woman judge. And a lot of times when I was in there, I was like, Nicholas: Mm-hmm. Johnny: man, I have no no no no shot at this. But me being prayed up, my mom praying for me, my wife praying for me, her parents praying, everybody. I went to court. with just with the I had a lawyer too, but also the man above was my my my my lawyer. so I knew that I was fifty fifty and what was gonna happen, but I remember she was trying to take my boys back from Florida from Texas to New Orleans and knowing me I wasn't gone for that. But just guess what I'm trying to say is that hey is is a lot of men are always saying that they they they have no rights in in court You won't know until you get there and make sure you have the right lawyer to to to back you up and know the system. It's a lot of stuff that protects you from a I'm speaking from a man's point of view, from a woman doing some stuff to you. Cause I've seen where women will try all they can to use that child against you, from child support to this to that. But I'm telling you, man, if if you want your kids Is is is I I'm gonna say it's worth it. If I'd a lost if I'd a lost my custody to my kids, hey, i the money was worth it because I tried. Nicholas: Mm-hmm. Johnny: At least I can say I tried. So I guess what I'm trying to say on the note, man, hey, a lot of y'all men out there who watching this show, and nothing wrong with trying to fight for your kids, go into court and let the judge make that decision for you. Cause I get tired of hearing men on social media. I'm not going to court. I'm not doing this, man. She can have it. I'll just pay the child support for this and that. If you love your kids enough, man, and you don't and you want them, you do what it takes to keep them. Again, I didn't like the process that we went through. It was hard. It cost money. Some stuff came out. It is what it is. And to this day, I make sure my kids know the situation so they want to hear it from somebody else. Shoot, my kids was there. The judge wanted to talk to them. But again, fight for your kids, man. The system is not always for the women, man. And again, I had a woman judge twice. And that woman heard both of our sides and was like, no way, no way. Them boys not going to New Orleans. Mr. Lawson, you you you had a good good amount of evidence. You them kids are a lot better with you. They're stable. Do your thing. So and I'm not saying nothing wrong with their mom. She's a good woman, but I was a better man. Nicholas: With with that being said, Johnny, I'm gonna tell you one thing. I've been through that situation till I ain't have to hire the lawyer. I had to talk for myself. I had to talk for myself, Johnny. And I've been in that same situation. And what I do recognize about the court system, it's what's in the best interest of the child. And the judges Johnny: Exactly. Nicholas: are gonna listen. They gonna listen. They don't care about no male and no female like they did back in the day. They don't they ain't none of that. Johnny: Right. Nicholas: What's in the best interest of that child? They're gonna listen to your situation. They're gonna listen to her situation. Your situation is better than your her. Yeah, them kids gone in the it's gonna be in the best interest of that child. So I mad respect to that. I hate that you had to hire a lawyer, but baby Nick Pooh know that I ain't I ain't have to do that. And I and that yeah, yeah, shit. Boy, you had. and for what Johnny: Yeah I had to Nicholas: I see and for what I see, for what I see and for what I know about you, I'm pretty sure Tina thanking you too. I'm pretty sure thank you she thanking you too to this day for for how you raising your k boys and for how they coming along. I'm pretty sure she thanking you too. Johnny: Yeah. It took it took a minute but it All right, so with that being said, y'all I got that was my segment called Get Off Your Chest. And that's that's what I had to get off my chest. so y'all dads, man, you want your kids, man? No excuse. You spend money on all on shoes and all the other stuff, put that money towards a lawyer. Or put that money towards somebody Nicholas: That's right. Johnny: that can give you some good advice. They got all kind of programs that'll help you in court. So Nicholas: I I know you asked me a s before to to do it, but I I i i I I I I I like to get something on my chest and that is Whatever, whatever you're going through as a man, woman, boy, girl, lean and depend on God. Trust in God. Lean and depend on God. Say your prayers. Fast and pray. Fast and pray. And lean and depend on God. That's what I have to get off my chest. That's yeah, lean and depend on God. Fast and pray. And surely He'll see you through. Whatever, whatever you're going through. Whatever, whatever you going through. Whatever you going through. Lean independent. And I don't I ain't no church monger. I ain't, you know, Johnny: Yeah. Nicholas: I know God for myself. That's all. That's all. I know God for myself. Lean independent Johnny: Right. Are you? Nicholas: on God. Fast. Fast. Johnny: Yeah. Nicholas: You smoke Johnny: Ya foo. Nicholas: weed, you smoking weed too much? Fast. You drinking too much? Fast. Johnny: Fast. Nicholas: And talk to God fast, that's all. And God'll make it happen for you. That's all. That's why I want to get on my chest. That's it. I'm out there, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Johnny: Right. okay. I appreciate it. Okay, Nick, so with that we're gonna come we're we're getting ready to come to a close. when you look at where you are today and where Nicholas: Mm-hmm. Johnny: you where you will be in the future, what kind of man and father do you want to become? Nicholas: All accepting Johnny: I'm going to. Nicholas: all accepting father. All accepting. Whatever my kids whatever my kids choose to do in life. Whatever my kids grandch I just I just hope and pray that there it be something prosperous. But I I hope and pray that it is all that us all all accepting father. It's all accepting grandfather. Just all accepting, you know. Long as it's prosperous, long as it's prosperous. more more of a family man. More of a family man, more on one accord with my kids and my sisters and my brothers and grandkids. Just that's it. Be one one accord. I I I haven't related, but my mama died here last year. So and all we got it left Johnny: Don't Nicholas: is yeah, yeah, you thank you but but I just be on one accord with my brothers and sisters and my grandkids and my my kids and my sisters and brothers, you know, and not particularly in that order, you know. Johnny: Right. Nicholas: Just be all accepting, you know. I ain't nobody to judge. Just be all accepting, you know. All accepting man, yeah. Yeah. Johnny: Exactly. Right. So I appreciate that. So all right, Nick, I appreciate you coming coming on and having a real conversation with me. And that's what Let's Talk About is about. real conversations about life, love, fatherhood, and everything in between. So everybody at home, if you enjoyed the conversation, make sure you hit that like button, comment, share, and subscribe to the channel. 'Cause with y'all without y'all, we can't grow. And we have a lot of shows that's coming up in the future. And we have topics like I mentioned earlier about mental health. We got a specialist. Actually, we have a doctor that's gonna do a show with us, mental health. And if there's a topic that you want us to talk about or you want to be a part of the conversation, inbox Tanya or inbox me. Don't be scared. Nothing but a adults conversation. So until next time, let's talk about it. And again, Nick, I wanna thank you. Is there anything before I end the show, Nick, is there anything that you would like to promote or you wanna give a shout out or anything? Nicholas: I I like to give my a shout out to to my girl. It's somebody that I'm dating seriously here, and and named Janine Hope. And hopefully when you put the broadcast out, she sees it and she knows that I'm serious about it. Also my kids, like when you decide to air it, that they see it and and I gave I gave great reverence and great reference to them. I I should hope that they they see it. My kids are Renisha and Demi and Janine Holt. I should've hoped that they s if they w when they when it when you put the broadcast out that they see it and then then I I great I made great reference to you know. Yeah. Johnny: W but we'll make sure they say it 'cause I I have yeah, I got it on YouTube, Facebook, it'll be on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, iHeart when I'm leaving out. So it'll be everywhere. So I'm gonna give you all the links. I'm also gonna link link so everybody to do it. So again and if if there's any other topics you wanna t want us to talk about or you wanna be a part of the conversation, inbox Tia or me. Don't be scared, it's nothing but adult conversation. So until next time, let's talk about it.