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291 - Balancing Masculine vs. Feminine in Business · Unshakeable with Human Design - A Human Design For Business Podcast

0:01
Welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, the show dedicated to
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helping entrepreneurs use human design to shift from hustle to
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flow without sacrificing results.
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Come here to become an unshakeable human and build an unshakeable business
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according to your human design.
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I'm your host, Nicole Laino.
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Hello and welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, everybody.
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I'm your host, Nicole Laino, and we are here today talking about Soft Girl Era.
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Have you heard about this?
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Soft Girl Era, feminine leadership, stepping into the divine feminine.
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Feminine over masculine in business.
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And we see this very much with high level leaders at the moment.
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As they're having kids and they're like, I'm leaning into motherhood,
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I want more space in my life, I want more freedom, I'm embracing
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the quiet, I'm letting go of hustle.
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All of these messages that are out there and they're talking about what
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they are prioritizing right now.
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Now, I think that that's a really important way to look at this as well.
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What are they prioritizing?
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It doesn't mean that the other things don't exist.
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And the problem that I want to talk about in this episode, the problem
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with soft girl era, the problem with feminine over masculine in business,
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is that it's just not that simple.
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Very often, very rarely is it one quick fix, one single thing that's
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going to fix all of your problems.
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There's an assessment that has to be made.
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You don't go to the doctor and walk in and say, I'm sick, and they go, here,
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this is the prescription I've been giving out to everybody for the last few weeks.
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It's curing everyone.
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That's not how it works.
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They say, okay, come in, tell me about your symptoms.
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What are you experiencing?
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How long has that been going on?
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What else have you tried?
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There's a series of questions and then they're like, let me examine you.
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And they're making an assessment and they are diagnosing your problem
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before they prescribe you something.
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We're often missing that diagnosis phase.
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We're just saying, I heard that thing works for this person.
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And then we jump into action behind it.
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And I want to talk about what that really leads to.
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And I'm not going to say that feminine isn't what you need.
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I'm not going to say that nervous system regulation work and
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expansion work is not what you need.
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I won't be saying that because I don't know.
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Because I have not diagnosed you.
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I have not heard about your problems or your experience
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or what you are going through.
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I just don't know.
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So I can't say.
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And that's the honest truth.
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But what I can say is that human design can help you make
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those decisions for yourself.
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And make them from a very different place.
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And I want to also mention that I am a person who made those decisions,
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who said, I want what she has.
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She says she's doing it this way, so I need to pay her so that I can
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be her and I can get the results that she has, because I'm desperate.
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And boy, were those expensive lessons.
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That was not often a successful approach and it was without
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fail, pretty much very costly.
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Both in my belief in myself, because I bought another thing and invested
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in another thing that didn't work.
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And to my bank account to say, oh, well there goes another two, three grand
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or whatever that I invested in this thing that now either sits on a digital
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shelf, or I went all the way through and did not really see the benefit from.
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Or I didn't see the benefit that I needed then.
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It doesn't mean that everything that I bought didn't serve me in some way.
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Just typically, when we invest in things and someone says, this
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is what made me a bunch of money, and then we go and buy that thing.
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We're like, Oh, I'm going to make a bunch of money too.
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Maybe not because there might've been other things that made them a bunch of
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money, but this one thing helped them expand that, grow that which already was.
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So, if someone's teaching you breath work, it might help you take
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steps that are difficult for you to take in putting yourself out
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there, in putting out your offers.
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But if they're not teaching you how to create offers, and they're not teaching
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you how to build a business, and they're not teaching you how to create the content
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and do all of that stuff, then you're probably going to need to invest in
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something else in order to teach you those skills that are needed, and the breathwork
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will be a lovely addition to that.
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So this is what we're going to break down.
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And it's not so much that I have a problem with the feminine side,
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I have a problem with these, blanket messages that go out there.
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And there's always a trend in messaging.
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We're hearing this now.
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Everybody's talking about evergreen.
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Everybody's talking about spaciousness and expansion.
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These messages are contagious and they end up spreading through the ecosystem.
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And we all start to ingest it and either get moved or turned off by it, right?
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So, before I get into the rest of this where I'm going to talk to you about
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how you start to diagnose your own problems and how you can use human
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design to change the way that you make these decisions, to make them from
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a place of power and not from lack.
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And I want to show you how that works, and I want you to understand that there are
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certain aspects of your chart that might say why you might lean more masculine.
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Or why you may lean more feminine, why that might be necessary for you.
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And human design can be this really beautiful tool to help you, not so much
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where you're looking at it and saying, I have an open G center, so I really
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need to be more open and less forceful in where I'm going or what I'm doing.
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I don't like those, if this, then I have to do that kind
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of rules with human design.
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I don't look at it that way.
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It's understanding yourself on a fundamental level to help you make the
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decisions that feel right according to your strategy and authority that
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make you feel really empowered.
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And then the chart sometimes can help you understand why something
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that your strategy and authority is calling you to do doesn't
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make sense to the outside world.
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But you can look at that and go, that's why this feels right to me.
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And I'll give you an example from my own business of how I've
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structured things specifically because of aspects in my chart.
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Not because it was a rule that said, I have to build it this way.
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But rather, aspects of my design, helped me to say, I don't need to listen to that
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thing that's being said out there all the time, and that everybody seems to be doing
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and is really trendy and hot right now.
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This is what's right for me and this is why it feels right.
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I could feel really powerful and really grounded.
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And very confident going all in on this strategy.
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Because it really feels like my strategy.
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So, before I do that, I do want to mention that the doors to Business By Design,
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which is my 12 month mentorship, this is business by human design mentorship
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program is open for enrollment right now.
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Now, Business By Design is my five step methodology, my soul strategy method
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for helping you build a profitable and sustainable business by your human design.
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And we do that through alignment, strengthening your gifts through
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your design, helping you attract more than hustle, but also building the
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infrastructure for your business, the systems that will allow you to
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actually have sales coming in so that your effort has someplace to go.
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So that you have both business building aspects, and the infrastructure, so
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you have a solid foundation for your business that's driving sales and you
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have a process which creates space in your nervous system, by the way.
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That you have space for that, but then also is helping you
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understand how to lead yourself.
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How to become an unshakeable human.
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So that you're making decisions from your place of power and
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not from a disempowered place.
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I always say to my clients, I'm not teaching you how to listen to me, I'm
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teaching you how to listen to yourself.
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And I'm just asking you better questions to help you get there
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and guiding you and pointing out certain things in your design.
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And then we build the process and the strategies underneath it to support you.
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So, doors are open.
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All you have to do to get more information is DM me mentorship on
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Instagram, I'm @NicoleLainoOfficial.
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We'll send you the information there.
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Or, if you'd like to have more information on the soul strategy
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method, that five step methodology for building a business by design, I just
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did a five day masterclass where I took you through each of the steps in
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depth, where I taught that for free.
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So all you have to do if you want those replays to watch those videos and see
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what I took you through and what that process looks like of building a business
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by design, all you have to do is DM me the word masterclass on Instagram.
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I'm @NicoleLainoOfficial, and we'll send you the link to
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the replays once you do that.
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Once you register for it there.
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Okay, so let's dive in.
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So, like I said, high level leaders are embracing their soft girl era.
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They are taking summers off.
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They are leaning back and a really important question that I don't
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think gets asked when we get really excited about somebody else's results
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is, where did they start from?
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That worked for them now.
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This is what they're focusing on now.
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What did they do before?
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Where did they come from?
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What did their business or world look like before?
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This is the difference between wanting versus desiring from an empowered place.
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When we just look at, that's working for them, let's go.
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You're chasing.
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You're in the energy of lack.
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You are not grounded.
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So when you're not grounded, literally if you think about it that way, not
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being grounded causes you to be floating above your body, you're not in your body.
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The ideas are so much easier to penetrate you, the conditioning is
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so much easier to pull you, which is what human design is all about.
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We get pulled by our conditioning, not by our truth.
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Our openness in our chart, we start to receive it.
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We receive a message that's not for us through those open centers,
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through those bridging gates in our design, through our shadows.
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It triggers us and we say, Ooh, I want that thing.
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Ooh, that will feel good.
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Ooh, that will make me feel better.
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I call it the tail wagging the dog.
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We get pulled by our conditioning and we leave all of our truth and power behind.
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That's the difference.
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So first we want to start looking at these scenarios differently.
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And even just asking that question might keep you from floating away through
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your conditioning and be able to ground yourself and say, how did they get there?
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What came first?
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Is this the only thing that they did?
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Or did they do a bunch of stuff before and now this was the thing that they needed?
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Asking yourself, what moves did they make versus what move is
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correct for me to make right now?
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It's not about them.
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I hear things that sound awesome all the time.
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And because I'm aligned, because I'm not pulled by my conditioning, because
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I don't blindly listen and follow anymore, I hear what they're doing
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and I go, well that sounds great.
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That is just not what I need at this moment.
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That's not my priority at the moment.
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Because I've assessed.
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And I know the diagnosis of any problems that I have, I'm at a scaling
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phase now, so the things that I'm looking for are very specific and
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different than they were two years ago.
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So an eight figure business leader, who's leaning back, who's embracing soft
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girl era, who is leaning into her divine feminine, most of those people, I know
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some of them personally, I know some of them through friends of friends, and some
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of them I've just watched for a long time.
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They are leaning back because they leaned in too hard for
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a long time and burned out.
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They built the systems.
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They built these massive businesses.
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They hustled their asses off.
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And now, the prudent thing for them to do when they look and they assess their
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life, and they say, well I have the money, the business, the success, the authority,
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all those things, but I'm not happy.
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So the answer for them is lean back.
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Get comfortable leaning back because that's their energy leak.
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I'm hustling.
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I'm believing too much that I need to work hard in order to keep all of this success.
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What got me here will get me there.
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I've got to let go of that.
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In order to have the life that they want, in order to say, I'm a mom now.
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How do I become a really great mom?
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Well, I need to spend more time with my kid.
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That's them diagnosing their own scenario and saying, Yeah, I do
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need to pay more attention to me.
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Soft girl era is right for them because they have the
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structure and the hustle already.
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And to say that they needed more of that would be wrong.
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They need to lean on their teams more.
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They need to delegate more.
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They need to build and fine tune their systems so that they run
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even more efficiently without them.
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It's a different game.
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If you don't have the systems built, if you don't have offers created, if
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you don't have a delivery system where you can talk about what you do in a
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way that people listen and is inspiring them to buy, If you're not bringing in
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consistent sales, then more leaning back, probably not going to be the thing that
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you need to put the most emphasis on.
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Aligning with your design stops that cycle of over correction.
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What it's doing is, it's helping you come back to this
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place of, does this feel right?
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Does this feel right for me at this moment?
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Your body knows.
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Your intuition knows.
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It's your mind that gets caught up in all of this.
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It's your ego that gets caught up in all of this stuff.
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And to avoid that cycle of shifting from purely masculine hustle to purely
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feminine leaning back and airiness.
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And you can do both.
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You can have both, and you need both.
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But if you've been leaning back a lot, then you probably
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don't need to lean back more.
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If you've done all of the healing and the energy work, you've been at
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that for a really long time, then you have to identify your energy
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leaks, which is your conditioning.
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You have to notice where you are self sabotaging the action
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taking portion of your life, and you need to find your gas pedal.
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And you need to build some structures that go alongside the leaning back.
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Build some structures, taking some action, getting things flowing, because
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the truth is that a lot of people who have been leaning back for a long time,
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you're actually hiding in your healing.
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You're hiding in your healing.
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If you've been doing that for a long time, But you don't have a solid offer to put
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out and you think that another mindset course, or energy practice, or Reiki
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healing is somehow going to unblock you?
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I'm not saying there's not work to do there, that there aren't blocks, but what
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I notice is that it requires both here.
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I always refer to it with my clients like we have to learn to walk and chew gum.
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We have to heal while we're taking action.
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And when you're doing that, you get a lot more clarity about what needs to
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be healed, and you're making progress.
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As opposed to, I have to go into a healing cocoon for months and months and months,
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I just need to get more in alignment.
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You do, there's alignment that's necessary.
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There's also action that's necessary.
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We need to be doing both.
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These people who are leaning back hard, they have the action.
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They're showing up.
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You're reading their stuff.
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They either have a team that's doing it for them really, really well,
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or they're doing it themselves.
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Because they figured out how to do it, and they don't have a problem taking action.
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You have to identify what is your problem.
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Where are you stuck?
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And if it feels like you are unable to take action, a lot of times design
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can help you find that gas pedal.
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It can help you find your cruising gear, so you aren't dealing with
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the conditioning constantly, trying to run through your resistance,
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trying to push through all the time.
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And you can actually gain some momentum.
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People think that human design will solve all of my problems.
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It'll solve some of them.
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And it will give you a tool to be able to solve your own problems,
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diagnose yourself, make correct choices, make decisions that are
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aligned with where you want to go, and not with where you are, or with what
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you've always gotten from the past.
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It'll give you a mechanism and a process to understand who you are
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and love the shit out of yourself.
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Really value yourself for the gifts that you have always had inside of you
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and really help you see your purpose.
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Tremendous confidence comes from that.
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But being in alignment with your human design does not mean you do
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not have to overcome your shit.
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Overcoming your shit is overcoming the shadows in your design that are holding
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you back from your ultimate potential.
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There is masculine even in the feminine side of this stuff.
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This is why I teach human design along with the gene keys.
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Human design to me is very much the masculine side of alignment.
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It is helping you through action, through taking in the information that you're
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given, assessing it through yourself, and then saying, if this, then do that.
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If I feel this, then I move.
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If I feel that, then I stay.
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In very crude terms, that is how this works.
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The Gene Keys is the feminine side.
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What does this mean to me?
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How has this been a gift that has always been around me and in me and something
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people have always come to me for?
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How can I deepen my connection to that?
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That's that more esoteric side of it which is so personal to you.
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That is the self discovery part of this journey.
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This is why human design is such a tool for self mastery.
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And when we aim for sustainability and profitability through personal
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alignment and self mastery, this is why it is so important to truly
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be aligned in your own purpose.
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You have to be able to lead yourself through this, otherwise you're always
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going to be questioning, and you're always going to lack confidence.
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So it always comes back to that.
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But masculine and feminine, you need a balance of this in your business.
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And I'll give you an example from my own human design journey and my own
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business of how, like I said at the beginning, It isn't, my chart says
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this so that means I have to do this.
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Beware of anybody that is saying that type of thing to you.
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Because you have this, that means you have to do this.
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No, none of that is true.
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Your authority leads you.
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Don't give your power away to anything or anyone, not even human design.
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It always comes back to, does this feel right for me?
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Does this feel right to me?
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And then those tendencies, those best practices, those things to
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look out for can help to inform the decisions that you're making.
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So here's an example, I'll give you an example from my business.
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The arrows in the chart, if you look at your chart, next to your head
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you'll see arrows facing in and out.
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They'll either be turned left or turned right.
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And usually we have some combination of right and left ones, some
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people have all of them left.
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Some people have all of them right.
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What that tells us, without going into super depth about this, we did an episode
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a long time ago on what the arrows mean.
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You can listen to that.
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But what those arrows tell us is how our brain functions, how our energy
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functions, how we function in our environment, whether we are focused
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beings, whether we are more strategic, how our brain stores and digests
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information, all of that can be understood more deeply through these arrows.
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I have what we call a passive brain, and the passive brain doesn't actually
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know necessarily all that's in there.
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My wisdom is not necessarily for me, it's for other people.
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And there's lots of aspects of my design that lend to that.
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I'm a 5/1, I'm transpersonal destiny, there's so much in my design.
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I was born under the quarter of duality in my incarnation cross,
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which is all about relationships.
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So much of it is not about me, it's about other people.
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But my passive brain, I don't know what I know.
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If I sit down and someone said, write a book on this topic.
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I could write the book.
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So if you told me to write a book on human design, which I'm doing
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right now, so I'm talking about it from this perspective as well.
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When I sit down and I just decide to write the book, the thoughts don't come.
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My best stuff comes when people ask me questions.
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So I utilize the feedback from this show.
22:34
I utilize my clients inside the Business By Design Mentorship.
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There's a reason that I have private coaching, readings,
22:43
as well as group coaching.
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And we do a lot of it in there where there's a lot of interaction with me,
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with my clients, for both them and for me.
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Because I can create a course, and I have a lot of digital content
22:56
that supports every member of the mentorship so that they can be learning
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when they are not with me on a call.
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However, the best stuff, what they really need, is going to come
23:10
from them asking me questions.
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And that will be the best stuff for them, but also there's going to be
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things that they ask me where the answer that I give comes from a place that
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I could never have accessed myself.
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I couldn't get to that juicy, perfect answer.
23:28
There are some times where they ask me a question and I'm
23:30
like, wow, that was brilliant.
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I pat myself on the back and I'm like, that came out perfectly
23:36
and I couldn't have planned it.
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I didn't even know I knew that.
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I did, but I didn't, I didn't know I knew it like that.
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I discover things about what I know through what people ask me.
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So I've structured my business in a way where it's designed for people to
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be able to ask me lots of questions.
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There is a lot of personal interaction with me, and I'm trying to work to
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figure out ways that I can do that on a larger and larger scale so that it's less
24:02
dependent on my time for all of this.
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But I also record everything.
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So I take transcripts of calls and I use AI to go through them to
24:10
pull out some of these gold mines.
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I mark them on my page.
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At halfway through, I said something here that I want to go back to.
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This is a highlight for me.
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I might make an episode from that insight that we got on that call.
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I might make a post out of that.
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That might go into my book.
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That's because I've structured things so that I work with my
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strengths and not my weaknesses.
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If I just sat down and said, I just have to create everything digitally and
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I have to do it before I talk to them, before they're ever in the program,
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I'm always creating new stuff for them.
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Some question that somebody asks might make me record a new video
24:50
and put it into the portal.
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Why?
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Because they told me what they needed.
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That responsiveness, that's part of being a generator, but it's
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also the way that my brain works.
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If I were just trying to create courses, and I have tried that, it
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doesn't work, and what's in those courses is very thin and usually not
25:12
a great reflection of all that I know.
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Yet people who have an active brain and a strategic mind, both, they
25:21
know exactly what they want to say.
25:22
They know exactly what's in their mind.
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They know exactly how they want to structure things,
25:26
and what people need to know.
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They just know.
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It's different for them.
25:33
Mine is a more feminine approach is what I'm talking about.
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By me being more receptive helps me access my genius.
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Someone who has more masculine aspects of their design, they may not benefit
25:46
from overly leaning into soft girl era.
25:51
That might not be the most nurturing thing for them.
25:55
We all need balance, but what does your balance look like?
25:58
So I hope that this helped you see one, how you can come back to
26:02
yourself, ground in yourself, so that you can make better decisions.
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Decisions that are correct for you, and not just based on what other people are
26:10
saying, or what they say they're getting, and you saying, I want that thing, too.
26:14
That you're able to come back to your own truth, and be led by your
26:17
truth, and you can do that through your strategy and authority.
26:21
I hope you're seeing how there are certain aspects of your design.
26:24
Openness is going to be much more feminine than the defined aspects of our chart.
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It's going to be more what you put out in the world.
26:33
More masculine in nature.
26:37
But how you can look at your chart and you can start to notice and
26:41
understand a little bit more about which way you lean naturally more.
26:45
Which might be why you lean into that more.
26:48
Or maybe why you resist it, if it's not what you were taught and you've
26:52
been led by your conditioning.
26:54
Human design, I always say it's a map to self mastery.
26:58
It's the map.
27:00
It isn't the treasure.
27:02
You're the treasure, and learning to operate yourself according to
27:05
your design and according to your strengths, that's the treasure.
27:10
So I hope that we helped you navigate that a bit.
27:12
If you're interested in the Business By Design Mentorship, again, all you have
27:15
to do is DM me mentorship on Instagram.
27:17
I'm @NicoleLainoOfficial.
27:19
We'll send you the page.
27:20
If you want to watch the replays of those videos while they are still up.
27:23
It's very limited time that they are up for still, DM me masterclass on
27:27
Instagram and we will send you the replay to those sessions so that you can watch
27:31
the soul strategy method in action and start to understand a little bit more
27:34
about it and whether it's right for you.
27:36
So thank you very much for making it to the end of this episode with me.
27:40
I appreciate you.
27:40
And remember, in order to have an unshakeable business, you must
27:43
first become an unshakeable human.
27:45
So thanks for letting us help you become unshakeable with human design, everybody.
27:49
We'll see you next time.
27:51
If you love this episode and you're a fan of the show, please show
27:54
us the love on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you're listening to
27:56
the show and leave us a review.
27:58
And if you'd like to connect with other entrepreneurs on their human
28:00
design journey, join our free Facebook community, Human Design for Entrepreneurs.
28:05
Go to nicolelaino.
28:06
me forward slash podcast links to join the group, book a human
28:10
design reading with me, or access our free human design resources.
28:14
We'll see you there.