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TALES FROM THE COFFEESHOP: THE CYPROB WORLD TOUR BEGINS! · penna!

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: All Carprua is laughing and mocking the former Democratic rally bigwig, and deputy Nikos Tornoritis for accepting the most ludicrous post ever thought up by a prez to reward one of his loyal poodles.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: The piss taking on social media reached epidemic proportions from the moment the Council of Ministers approved the appointment of Tornoritis as the presidential envoy for the Cyprus problem in Africa and Asia.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: They may as well have called the post pseudo role for has been politician, desperate to have an official title that will enable him to feel important.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: It is a post tailor made for loosers, demanding the press reward them for their loyalty.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: A pity we do not have a House of Lords.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: It is a surprise that everyone is laughing at Tornoritis when the person who deserves to be ridiculed is the press, who thought of this joke post, which will involve Tornoritis boarding some totally disinterested lowly foreign ministry official in Somalia, Malawi, Burkina Faso, Laos or Cambodia about Turkish intransigence that is preventing progress in the Cyprob.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: With a total of about one hundred countries in Africa and Asia, the Prez may have to lease a private jet for the presidential envoy to enlighten both continents about the Cyprob.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: We laugh, but if you like traveling, this is a dream job.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: The taxpayer will pick up the bill for your airfares, five star accommodation, and a couple of hundred euro per diem, so you can travel to anywhere you choose in Asia and Africa.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: And the actual work involved will be a half hour meeting with some inconsequential, low ranking official that will be ordered to see you as a courtesy.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: He or she would also give you tips about the best restaurants and places to visit.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: If there is a post for presidential envoy for the Cyprus problem in South America on offer, I would be very tempted to take an oath of allegiance to the press in order to land such a job as I would love to brief the people of Peru and Brazil about the Cyprob.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: At the heart of the joke is Torna Ritus' burning desire to secure a ministerial job.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: This, according to people close to him, was his all consuming ambition, even when he was a member of Parliament and in the Democratic Rally leadership team.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: Nick I was never a fan, so there was no ministry for him in the ten years of Democratic Rally rule.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps because of bitterness and resentment, Tornaredes became Christodes' fifth columnist in the Democratic Rally before the presidential election, although he was member of the Averov campaign staff, and carried on performing this treacherous role until this week.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: I suspect the Prez would have preferred his not so secret agent to have stayed at the Democratic rally, undermining Anita, causing divisions that Phil could gloat about and recruiting Democratic rally members for the reelection drive.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Tornoritis wanted an official title, and as he was not going to be given a ministry, the Prez had to invent an important sounding but very silly role for him.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: Such was the negative publicity generated, you half expected the Prez to say he was in the dark about the appointment, as he had been regarding the purchase of the six hundred grand limo.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: On the contrary, he defended the appointment, saying it served no electoral expediency, which was probably not far from the truth.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: He had nothing to gain from this, apart from ending Tornoritis' constant whining over the fact that his loyalty was not rewarded with an appointment.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: Speaking on Omega TV, Tornoritis came up with some compelling arguments for his appointment.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: He was invited by the press because of the experience he has.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: There should be specialist representatives that would work day and night for our country, he said.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Before the announcement of his role as Africa Asia Envoy, Tornoritis said he informed Anita and the leadership of the party, and the big majority congratulated me, said the position is suitable for me, and I will bring results for our country.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: The liberation of Kiprula goes through Africa and the Far East.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Preznik and Tufan Erhoman had their final meeting on Thursday, before heading to the Big Apple for the eighty first General Assembly of the United Nations, where each will be seen for ten minutes by the United Nations Secretary General, Antonio Guterres, and pretend they are players in the international stage.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: Guterres made it very clear in a news conference a few days ago that he would not be meeting the two leaders together in New York, nor was the five plus one meeting that our press has been clamoring for.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: This was because the two disobedient leaders had not done any of the homework they had been assigned by Guterres when he met them two months earlier.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: There is still much work to be done, he said at the news conference.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of focusing on doing the homework, like agreeing on the confidence building measures Guterres had proposed, agreeing on methodology and even opening a crossing point or two, our press presented new ideas at the meeting.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: These new ideas, which have not been revealed, will ensure the United Nations Secretary General will not call the five plus one meeting our press so desperately wants.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: When she was here, the United Nations Secretary General's personal envoy, Maria Angela Holkin, was complaining that the press was regularly coming up with new ideas, so that he would not have to discuss the issues proposed by Guterres.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: So the new ideas presented on Thursday were nothing new, at least tactically speaking.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: They are part of his tactics, most probably suggested by national security advisor Tasosionis, who was the most loyal disciple of Etnarch Tasos, and has an expertise in ensuring negotiations lead nowhere.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: My question is why do these guys not have the sincerity to say we do not want a settlement because we do not trust the Turks, and we do not want to share power with the Turkish Cypriots, and instead engage in all this theater of the absurd?
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Even if the Prez takes such an honest approach, Tornaritis could remain his Cyprobe envoy, informing Asian and African countries that our efforts to reunify the country are blocked by Turkish intransigence.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: Prezniktu has inaugurated a new method of self promotion.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: Whenever there is a piece of good news to announce, he makes a short video of himself announcing it.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: He does not allow ministers to take the sole credit for anything positive that happens, insisting that he will be the bringer of good tidings.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: Last Sunday he starred in a video to inform us about two new government housing schemes, even though they had been announced a few days earlier by the Interior Minister.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: The Sunday before he announced the change of criteria for receiving child benefit, a change that would increase the number of people eligible.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: On Saturday he felt duty bound to boast about another significant economic landmark, the upgrading of Kiprulla's credit rating from A to A by standard and poors.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: Finance Minister Machis Karavnos had done his own video about the same matter an hour earlier.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: But there was no way he would be allowed to take all glory for himself.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: In Kiprulla, everything good that happens is because of one man, and we will never be allowed to forget it, and the videos will prove it.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: Love the idea that the center of regional geostrategic importance could soon become a regional center of energy distribution.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: Although our government has been doing everything it can to stop the Great Sea interconnector from materializing, even falling out with the Greek government for a brief spell, it is now talking of an interconnector with Lebanon, which does not even have a functioning national grid.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: We read this week that there are discussion about sending power from our RES to Lebanon via sub sea cable, and it was not April first.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: A week earlier we were informed that Israel is also interested in an interconnection.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: In the end, we will be supplying the region with electricity, even though in the summer we barely have enough for our own needs.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: There was no video of the press announcing this, so it must still be at a very early stage.