Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / How long will a narcissist seek revenge
Transcript
- 0:00What is going on, beautiful people?
- 0:02Today we're going to be answering the question, how long
- 0:05will a narcissist seek revenge? Vengeance shall be mined, said
- 0:10the toxic, narcissistic, horrible person in your life.
- 0:13If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammond.
- 0:14I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and welcome to
- 0:16another episode of The Narcissist Code.
- 0:36Welcome back, folks. I had to take back that weird
- 0:39hand toss I did. I don't know.
- 0:40I don't, I don't know where they came from.
- 0:42Y'all forgive me, forgive me. I don't know what to do with my
- 0:47hands. Y'all know?
- 0:49Y'all know Talladega night. See, we can't, we can't be cool.
- 0:52We can't be cool. But yes, y'all, how long will a
- 0:56narcissist seek revenge? And let's just hop right into
- 1:01it. I think a lot of people
- 1:02understand that if you're, if you've dealt with a narcissist
- 1:04or you've been dealing with a narcissistic person, right?
- 1:07You understand that there is no, I mean, it really depends, but
- 1:13it really depends on how the relationship ended, how the
- 1:16situation ended. It doesn't have to be an
- 1:17intimate relationship. You know, narcissistic people
- 1:20can be your parents, they can be your friends, they can be your
- 1:23Co workers. It doesn't like the
- 1:24relationship, it matters, but they can still seek revenge, you
- 1:29know, like, just because you've been in a relationship with them
- 1:32doesn't mean that they won't seek revenge on you is what I'm
- 1:34trying to say. But what happens a lot of times
- 1:36in these situations is narcissistic people feel like
- 1:41they can feel like you've wronged them in some way, shape
- 1:46or form, right? They can feel like you've done
- 1:48them wrong. So what's their name?
- 1:51They can make it. They can feel like you've done
- 1:52them wrong. And in that situation, they will
- 1:57seek revenge for a very, very long time.
- 1:59They will wait. There are some narcissists who
- 2:03who like the kind of microwave revenge, right?
- 2:06They want revenge, they want instant.
- 2:09They want to hit the 32nd button.
- 2:10You know what I mean? You know, they want to hit the
- 2:1332nd instead of putting in one minute.
- 2:15They want to hit the 32nd button two times.
- 2:17They want instant revenge. They want, they want to get you
- 2:20back right now. They want to hurt you right now
- 2:23for a, for something that you might not have done wrong,
- 2:26y'all? It's something that they
- 2:27perceived that you have done wrong.
- 2:30You hear me say when I said that perceived wrongdoing, perceived
- 2:36wrongdoing doesn't mean you've done something wrong to them.
- 2:39They can perceive that you have done something wrong to them.
- 2:42So they won't revenge something that you they perceive you've
- 2:46done wrong. They won't instant revenge.
- 2:48They won't revenge right now. They want to hurt you right now.
- 2:51They want to cause you pain and inflict pain upon you right now.
- 2:57Like seriously, they want to do that to you right now.
- 2:59They want like I said right now, like the amount of pain you've
- 3:02inflicted upon them hurts them so bad that they want to hurt
- 3:06you right now. And again, you might not have
- 3:08done anything wrong to them. Y'all like they perceive that
- 3:12you have done something wrong. They just read the situation
- 3:15wrong. They just like they're so angry
- 3:17and misguided and just you know how to get the, the glasses are
- 3:21all fogged up. They're mad as hell.
- 3:24They perceive that, that they've been wronged.
- 3:26So they try to hurt you and harm you.
- 3:28They try to bring the pain to you.
- 3:30They try to hurt you and make you feel this, this thundering
- 3:34rage, this thundering rage that a lot of them have in their
- 3:38hearts. They want to cause you pain and
- 3:41inflict pain upon you. This is what happens a lot of
- 3:44times in toxic narcissistic relationships.
- 3:46It Yeah, it it, it's just what happens, you know, like if you
- 3:50break up with them for Oh yeah, you can break up with them for
- 3:53the all the right reasons. But the fact that you broke up
- 3:58with them hurts them so bad that they want to cause you pain that
- 4:04they want to flame you on. They want to they want to
- 4:06inflict harm upon you in any way possible, right?
- 4:11They want to make you scream and cry.
- 4:14They want to see you in unfathomable pain because you
- 4:18broke up with them, you hurt, you ruined their reputation.
- 4:21You look, you didn't look y'all, you don't even have to expose
- 4:24them. You don't even have to expose
- 4:26them, but they will still try to hurt you and harm you and ruin
- 4:29your reputation just because you hurt their feelings.
- 4:32And y'all, what happens in these situations, what happens in a
- 4:34lot of these scenarios is that they can do this for a very long
- 4:39time. Y'all years.
- 4:41They like, like I said, some narcissists like the, like the
- 4:43fast, they like the fast instant revenge.
- 4:46They like the instant, the instant revenge, the instant
- 4:51anger. They want to cause you pain
- 4:52right now. You cause me pain right now.
- 4:54I need to cause you pain right now.
- 4:56They want, they want the instant.
- 4:58But there are some narcissists, right, who like to play the long
- 5:01game. They will absolutely play the
- 5:04long game and take their time seeking revenge on you.
- 5:09They will absolutely take their time to get their revenge on
- 5:13you. They want they want to wait and
- 5:16they'll wait years, years, years.
- 5:19They can be in a whole new relationship.
- 5:21You can be in a whole new relationship.
- 5:22Y'all you've been a whole new like if it's your coworker and
- 5:26they feel like you got them fired or something like that,
- 5:28you bet a whole another job. They can be creating fake
- 5:30accounts, harassing you, stalking you, trolling you
- 5:33online, doing a lot of things to you to bring you this pain
- 5:38because they feel like you, you put you bought pain upon them.
- 5:41You embarrassed them. So years down the road, your old
- 5:44boss, because you, your old narcissistic boss, you quit,
- 5:48right, because they were treating you horribly.
- 5:50So now they're just seeking revenge for a very long time.
- 5:53They won't, they won't give you a recommendation.
- 5:55They they won't give you a good referral.
- 5:58They're blacklisting you throughout the town and in
- 6:01similar companies. They have friends in the
- 6:03industry. They're blacklisting you for
- 6:05years to come because you quit on them because they treated you
- 6:09horribly. I had a old narcissistic boss.
- 6:12I used to work, I used to work at Wendy's in Reedsville, right?
- 6:15A long time ago. I had a old narcissistic boss
- 6:17and he, and this is before I even knew about narcissism.
- 6:20When I'm looking back at my life and seeing the old jobs and the
- 6:23old people who who like kind of been in my life.
- 6:26I had a old narcissistic boss and he used to get my damn
- 6:28nerves. Y'all like he was just like a
- 6:29horrible, horrible person. It is like my first job.
- 6:33He was just like man, like man, what the hell is wrong with you?
- 6:35You know, just asked me to do all kind of heinous stuff, man.
- 6:38So I just quit. And when I quit, did I try to
- 6:40get another job like a a subway down the street?
- 6:43He knew the people who worked at the subway just like, yeah, we
- 6:45saw you put put Wendy's on here and Dave said you quit on.
- 6:48I was like, Oh my goodness, that man for a long time.
- 6:51I can like I said, it's like it's damn near like I didn't
- 6:53have another job y'all. And I quit for I quit for some
- 6:57good reasons. I know people are like, well,
- 6:58lady, why would they give you a good recommendation if you quit?
- 7:00Yeah, I quit for a very, for a very good reason.
- 7:02I ain't going to bring it up, but I quit for a very good
- 7:04reason. But for a long time it was like
- 7:06I damn near didn't have a job. Like I was starting over from
- 7:09scratch. I couldn't put his name down in
- 7:10the board because he he did that for a Subway.
- 7:12He did that for where else is that a food line?
- 7:15It was a couple of different places.
- 7:17I was like, damn dude, you know, it was crazy.
- 7:19But he's held that grudge for a long time.
- 7:22They don't care, y'all. They do not care.
- 7:25You know, they don't care because they feel like you hurt
- 7:27them. You affected him in a negative
- 7:29way and they will hold onto that grudge for a long time.
- 7:32Like I said, years even and then people y'all can attest to it.
- 7:36If you had an experience with a narcissist or tax person in your
- 7:38life and they sought revenge on you, how long did they seek
- 7:41revenge on you? Because a lot of people ask me
- 7:43like, well, leave how? When would, when would they,
- 7:45would they, when would they leave you alone?
- 7:47I tell people sometimes they won't.
- 7:50Sometimes you have to force them to leave you alone.
- 7:52Sometimes you have to get the law involved.
- 7:53And even getting the law involved doesn't guarantee that
- 7:57anything is going to change about the situation.
- 7:59Sometimes getting the law involved doesn't change
- 8:01anything. It absolutely, it actually can.
- 8:04It's can exacerbate the situation and further anger the
- 8:09narcissist, right? It make them mad as hell.
- 8:11So they now even angrier. So it's just like, I'm not
- 8:15telling you not to call the police.
- 8:16Of course, gather your evidence, do what you need to do to
- 8:18protect yourself. But some narcissist people, they
- 8:21do take offense today. They like, oh, you can call the
- 8:23police on me. You going to try to get me
- 8:24locked up or I got something for your ass.
- 8:25I got something for you. Wow, wow, wow.
- 8:27And they, and they come and they try to ruin your life.
- 8:30They, they try to ruin your life.
- 8:31They try to hurt you in all the way in any way possible.
- 8:35And they just some of them won't leave you alone.
- 8:37You have to force it. Even, like I say, even down the
- 8:40road, your ex-boyfriend from high school, this seven years
- 8:43later, they're still messing with you, even though they got a
- 8:45wife and kids, you know, your ex-girlfriend, your ex-wife or
- 8:50whatever, a long time ago, still messing with you, even though
- 8:54they've gotten married and had a whole, they live in a whole new
- 8:57country. I'm telling you, narcissists,
- 9:00when they feel like they're, they've been wronged, they will
- 9:03seek revenge. Yeah.
- 9:04And the, and the crazy about it is even if they get you back,
- 9:08even if they seek revenge and, and match your match, the energy
- 9:11that they think was put out doesn't mean that they'll leave
- 9:14you alone. They will seek, they will still
- 9:16continuously seek vengeance on you.
- 9:19Like, even like it's, it's prolonged, like they don't just
- 9:22do one thing. They just keep doing it over and
- 9:24over again. They keep doing more stuff like
- 9:25that. When you going to leave me alone
- 9:28and they won't, you can try to talk to them.
- 9:30They'll deny. What are you talking about?
- 9:31I've messaged you that post wasn't about you.
- 9:36It happened so much and one of the main times you see this
- 9:39happening y'all? Especially if if you have the Co
- 9:41parent with a narcissist. If you have the Co parent with a
- 9:43narcissist and you ended the relationship, good luck.
- 9:48Co parent with them because they're going to be mad as them.
- 9:49They're going to try to treat. They're going to try to treat
- 9:52you horribly because they you don't want to Co parent with it.
- 9:56They don't try to treat you horribly because you broke the
- 9:58family up. You embarrassed me by divorcing
- 10:00me. You embarrassed embarrassed me
- 10:02by breaking up with me. So they treat you horribly and
- 10:04make your life harder for the entire them near the entire
- 10:08duration of the Co parenting journey.
- 10:10They just counter parent you every step of the way.
- 10:13Schooling, hospital, vaccines, whatever it is, whatever it is,
- 10:20sports schedule, they make your life harder.
- 10:22They counter parent you because they're angry at you.
- 10:24They're seeking vengeance on you for ending a relationship.
- 10:27And some of them, even if they left you, they will still do the
- 10:31same thing. They still make it hard to
- 10:33parent. They still will counter parent
- 10:34you and try to hold you accountable for whatever.
- 10:36Like there is no time limit on the vengeance A lot of times.
- 10:40Like if you act like that, if sometimes you can stifle out the
- 10:43fire by acting like it doesn't bother you and sometimes they'll
- 10:46leave you alone. But sometimes you have to force
- 10:48them to leave you alone. Y'all?
- 10:50Sometimes if you match their energy and embarrass them back,
- 10:52it could get to leave you alone. But again, you think you're
- 10:56throwing water on the fire, but it's you think you're throwing
- 10:58water on the fire, you act it's actually a grease fire and you
- 11:01make and you make it bigger. You see what I'm saying?
- 11:03Sometimes you can't fire, can't fight fire with fire y'all.
- 11:06Sometimes you have to force them to leave you alone.
- 11:09Anyways y'all make sure you check out joining the support
- 11:11groups if you haven't check out my courses as well.
- 11:13I still do my one on ones over zoom mental illness.net.
- 11:17I will see you later. Subscribe to the channel.
- 11:19I'm out. Peace.
- 11:20Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
- 11:22I am extremely grateful for you. Have no idea.
- 11:25If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
- 11:27to the channel helps reach more people and click on the screen
- 11:29to watch another video or to browse through another playlist.
- 11:32There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
- 11:34and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
- 11:37you've been through. Thank you so much again.
- 11:39I will see you in the next video.
- 11:40Peace.