Latest / Smooth Critical / C1 Ep.8: Fat Cats & Night Caps

Transcript

C1 Ep.8: Fat Cats & Night Caps · Smooth Critical

0:20
Welcome back to Smooth Critical. I'm your DM, Avni.
0:23
Avni, quick question, are you OK?
0:26
Avni, are you OK? Are you OK, Avni?
0:29
I'm doing so fabulously, mostly because Bo actually got to use
0:34
the jokester mic, which was very very fun.
0:37
Though my request for next time is to actually use a better
0:41
joke. I was on the fly.
0:44
Damn brutal. It was good for being on the
0:47
fly. It was, it was sitting right
0:48
there, Bo. It was Bertha.
0:50
Hardly, Noah. No, you're right, there's
0:52
there's a lot of cat puns I could have used.
0:55
Roll def saving throws right now.
0:57
You're back down. And now I cannot wait to
1:00
introduce my three gorgeous gladiators.
1:03
He my. Hello, it's Abe.
1:06
Harry. Hello, it's Bon.
1:10
And Charlie? Hello, it's Bo.
1:13
All right, you weirdos, let's start our recap.
1:18
You all started in Betsy's Limb Upgrade shop where Betsy,
1:22
grateful for your coin, gave you all a bag of holding that was
1:25
her daughter's and a banjo that was her daughter in
1:44
Drummond's political message rubbed Beau the wrong way, but
1:48
Drummond did ask for the Monos to canvas for him for mayor if
1:51
they won the Gladiator Festival. The Gangre united after bond
1:55
surgery and asked Betsy if she knew anything about the
1:58
mechanical arm they had picked up.
1:59
After inspecting it, she noticed the initials AES engraved in it.
2:04
The Monos then went to fight in the battle where they fought Big
2:07
Bertha and Toby. 2 very large tobacc seas with fire claws.
2:11
They won after both Bunty and Bo were knocked out though.
2:14
Now the crowd is going to decide if the Mono should kill Big
2:18
Bertha and Toby and the Monos have to decide themselves what
2:21
they want to do. And that's where we are now.
2:25
The announcer has just announced.
2:27
Do we think Big Bertha and Toby should live or die before I roll
2:34
for the crowd? Do you guys want to do anything
2:37
to influence the crowd one way or the other?
2:41
Bond, can you do that thing where you you make your voice
2:43
loud and like gather their attention?
2:45
Yeah, I cast Thamatergy. It's a can trip and I make my
2:48
voice boom and I say wait. The crowd silences.
2:52
We have to listen. Look, I know they lost, but do
2:55
you not remember cheering for these two just a minute ago?
2:59
Like, were these not some of your favorite warriors?
3:01
Wouldn't you want to see them fight again?
3:03
I don't believe anybody should be purposefully trying to kill
3:06
people at these games. And then I have Bunty crawl into
3:10
my hand and I say tell them what you feel Bunty and I lift him up
3:14
above my head. Oh God.
3:18
Oh, I. Feel a little horny but also.
3:22
My voice booms again, like. Maybe they shouldn't die.
3:26
That's why my voice starts to boom again.
3:29
These people don't deserve to die.
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And I I sort of pat bow on the back and I whisper to him.
3:34
Nice one man, but my voice is still booming so I say it much.
3:38
Louder than I expect. Just like if the mic is still
3:42
hot. Everyone hears it.
3:44
We we don't. We don't want to kill anybody.
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And you know what? Sometimes we can act with haste
3:50
and impatience, You know, I, I, they almost killed my brother
3:55
and I wanted to kill them too. But you know what?
3:57
And I look at the two of you and I look at Bunty and I said
4:00
maybe, maybe they're right. And maybe we should be better
4:03
than what we feel in our fastest urges.
4:06
Someone from the crowd shouts. Who tried to kill your brother?
4:09
Who are you? Who's your brother?
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This, this guy and I and I and I lift him up and I kind of turn
4:15
around a little bit and I say Bertha almost killed him.
4:19
Oh, that's your brother. The crowd starts nodding and you
4:22
hear whispers. They all say this in unison.
4:24
Yeah, all of our voice ring. In the crowd, they don't look
4:28
that similar, but I guess brothers come in every shape and
4:32
size. OK, OK, yeah.
4:34
Everyone is like OK, this this makes sense, I guess.
4:37
OK, who wants to give me the persuasion check with advantage
4:41
before the crowd rolls? Should be Bell.
4:44
Purely as a meta thing, I think I should do it.
4:46
Yeah, you are also sort of the igniter of the speech.
4:49
So you roll your persuasion if it's above a 15, then they'll
4:53
only tell you to kill Big Bertha and Toby if they roll a one
4:57
through 5 on their D20. If you get above a 20 on your
5:02
persuasion then as long as they don't roll a Nat one, Big Bertha
5:06
and Toby will be safe. OK then I am going to use a luck
5:11
point on this. You already get advantage but.
5:14
Oh, right, of course. Then yeah, I'll just roll
5:16
regularly. And I'll give you guidance.
5:19
Could I actually? Could I use the clockwork amulet
5:22
to replace one of my roles with a 13?
5:24
You absolutely can, yeah. Well, then I'm going to reach
5:27
into my pocket and kind of feel the amulet, feel myself sync up
5:32
with it once again. OK, so it's a good thing I did
5:35
that because I rolled A5 so naturally that will be in 18.
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Plus the D4. 4 so 22. Amazing.
5:44
All right, that's a 12. Awesome.
5:47
In unison, the crowd goes, yeah, they're right.
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They're totally right. Let's not kill our favorite.
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Warriors. Yeah.
5:54
I want to look at Cluard and see his reaction to this.
5:57
He is silent. You don't see him chanting one
6:02
way or the other. He looks grateful that Big
6:07
Bertha and Toby are being saved by the crowd, but he looks
6:11
furious. I'm going to just like nod at
6:13
him, not in like a threatening or a taunting way, just like a
6:16
little acknowledgement that I'm looking at him right now.
6:18
He nods back to you. Do you want to give me an
6:22
insight check? Sure, 19.
6:25
It seems as if it was a nod of respect for the fight that you
6:30
put on. OK, cool.
6:32
So the announcer comes back and goes.
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All right, a little anticlimactic.
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Big berth and Toby, let's haul them off to the healers and you
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3. Very good fight.
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Let's give a hand for the Monos. And the crowd starts clapping
6:48
again. We will see the Monos tomorrow
6:51
for their next fight in the bracket.
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And then there's some whistling. Yeah.
6:58
Woo. As as we exit, I also I'm going
7:01
to look over at Cluerd and just kind of slow blink.
7:07
What the fuck is a slow blink? My cat lovers will get it.
7:10
My cat lovers will get. You just told Cluard that you
7:13
love and trust. Yeah.
7:15
It was more of it was more of a slow blink of apology as as my
7:19
speech alluded to, what may have happened to his son in that
7:22
fight that we had with him. Cluard's gonna roll an insight
7:25
check on you to see if he understands that that was a slow
7:29
blink of apology and not a slow blink declaration of love.
7:35
OK? He understands that it's an
7:36
apology. He nods his head at you
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solemnly. He still looks very angry, but
7:41
he appreciates the speech that you made at the end to save Big
7:45
Bertha and Toby. So you guys shuffle out of the
7:47
arena where you see Drummond waiting for you all.
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Only Beau has met Drummond, but under disguise as Olive Garden.
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So Drummond approaches you, this very regal looking white cat in
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a white suit, emerald green tie, this emerald green shining eyes,
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a hat, and this walking cane. And he turns to you all and
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goes, well, my name is Drummond and I think we are here to meet
8:15
each other. What an incredible fight.
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We are certainly meeting each other.
8:21
It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm sorry that our manager,
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Ollie V Garden, is no longer here.
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He manages a lot of a lot of these and he had to move on to
8:30
to the next city, you know, but here we are.
8:32
That's interesting because Vox is your sponsor, right?
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So why do you have a manager? Vox does sponsorship, our
8:42
manager does managering. You know, there's, it's, it's a
8:45
division of Labor. Certain people are better at
8:48
things than others. And we don't, we don't have the
8:51
sponsorship like on our clothes yet.
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But like the Vox RM sponsorship branding deal is coming soon
8:57
that that provides the financial capabilities.
9:00
Whereas like the manager, you know he manages things.
9:04
Yeah, well, Vox doesn't tend to brand his sponsees.
9:10
I mean, I've worked with him in the past.
9:13
We have sponsored various adventuring parties and
9:17
gladiators in the past and usually tends to keep it low key
9:22
so you might not be getting any branded clothes anytime soon.
9:26
I look disappointed at that. Well, it is a pleasure to meet
9:30
you all. What is your names?
9:33
I'm a. I'm Bo.
9:34
I'm Bonsal, but you can call me Bon.
9:36
I am Abdul Kadir Elrich, but you can refer to me as Abe and this
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is Bunty. And I'm Bunty.
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Yes, Bunty, I heard that you were horny.
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Is that true? Yeah, I was horny, but now I'm
9:52
not that horny. Is is Drummond looking for
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something? Oh no, Bunty, this is not for.
10:00
Me. I just was curious.
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I've never seen Someone Like You before.
10:07
You say you 2 are brothers and he points between Abe and Bunty.
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Yeah. Were you Bunty a human in the
10:16
past or Abe? Were you not human because he
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doesn't know what Bunty is? Yeah, I look at Bunty and we we
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kind of exchange a look and I say, yeah, I wasn't human once.
10:31
Interesting. Well, I would love to talk more
10:36
about this. It's got to be about supper time
10:40
right now. And since you're staying at my
10:42
place, maybe we should head over there, get a warm meal in our
10:47
bellies, just get to know each other.
10:50
Absolutely. Sounds like a good plan.
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Do we get any prizes for winning individual rounds of the
10:55
tournament? Or you know, is it only for the
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end? When you get knocked out or
11:01
killed, then you'll get your money or your sponsor will get
11:05
your money if you die. Oh.
11:07
So we just keep fighting until we get knocked out?
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Or is there a way to win? Well, it is a bracket, so
11:13
depending on how the fights go today, you might have one or two
11:18
matches tomorrow. I see.
11:20
I see. OK.
11:21
Thank you. Yeah, there is a big prize pot,
11:24
2000 gold pieces. Interesting.
11:28
But if you don't make it to the top, you might only head out of
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here with 100 or so gold pieces. So you might want to make your
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way to the end. Drummond, Sir, is there anyone
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you would say is more capable than Bertha and Toby?
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And maybe we could make your way over to your house?
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And at that, my stomach audibly grumbles.
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Yes, so he starts leading you guys as you're having this
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conversation and you keep going northwest in the richer part of
12:00
Lagrande's village. Well, I don't exactly know who
12:04
is competing this year. I've been a little busy running
12:08
for mayor. Big Bertha and Toby, they're
12:11
formidable opponents. They would take out a lot of
12:15
good folk, but depending on what teams are put together there
12:20
might be a couple more people that are quite harder than Big
12:24
Bertha and Toby. What are the rules about
12:27
interference with with the match?
12:29
If somebody's casting a spell from outside, is that against
12:32
the rule? Well, it's certainly not legally
12:37
approved, but you can get away with stuff here.
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This isn't one of those big fancy city matches.
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OK. So Drummond leads you through
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winding paths until you see a gleaming white mansion come into
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view, like a MC mansion of polished marble statues of
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lounging to back seas and fountains shaped like leaping
13:01
felines with water spouting everywhere.
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Whitestone columns rise high and every window has some sort of
13:08
ornate decorative framing. As you approach the door, the
13:12
door opens automatically and you see a Butler standing on the
13:16
other other side. Inside, the air smells of
13:19
Jasmine and expensive incense, and there's a slew of house
13:22
workers taking care of the house.
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You even see them cooking, cleaning, and there's even, like
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I said, the one who opens the door for you.
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As you step foot in, a young tabaxi boy runs to the house,
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giggling. Welcome to my abode, Remington.
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Come here, boar. And you see the young tabaxi
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come over. Hi Papa Remington, please say hi
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to our guests. Well, hello there.
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Hi guys. Remington, we do not say guys to
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our guests. We treat them with respect.
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Oh, sorry, Papa. Oh, it's OK, Drummond Sir.
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And I kneel down, and I put out one of my hands to shake little
14:01
Remington's hand. Remington's paw reaches out and
14:04
gives you a firm shave. It is a pleasure to meet y'all.
14:08
Likewise, you have a very nice handshake, Remington.
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Oh, thank you. My daddy used to teach me the
14:14
ways of the world, but he's since passed.
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Oh, Remington, we don't need to talk about your daddy right now.
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I know it's been a tough year here.
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Go off and go play and he goes thanks daddy and he runs off.
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Uh, sorry about that. Remington misses his daddy very
14:33
much and I miss my husband. I'm sorry to hear of his
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passing. Must be very hard to carry.
14:39
Yeah, you know, we've all lost people along the way.
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Yeah, congenital heart failure. What can you do?
14:45
You might not know Drummond, but I mean, I lost both of my
14:49
parents and my brother is. Also in prison so.
14:51
I know a thing or two about how hard it is.
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The young boy orphaned on the streets of Moonfen with only the
14:59
merchants to talk to. Yeah.
15:02
I whisper over to Beau. I'm like, did you know about
15:05
this? Did you know his family died?
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I had no idea. No, this is the first time
15:12
hearing about it. Wow.
15:13
He should talk about this more. He never talks about it.
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Yeah, he's so close and closely guarded with all of his secrets.
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Drummond turns to you a Well, I'm very sorry to hear that.
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And you hear the sincerity in his voice.
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I know that it's quite hard. I mean I myself lost my parents
15:33
when I was really young but they had a trust for me so I I turned
15:38
out pretty fine. I was just going to ask how you
15:40
end up with all this and could I do that too?
15:42
You know, I actually wasn't going to ask.
15:44
Well, a little bit of family money, a little bit of
15:48
investing, but you know, I do what I can here and there.
15:52
I mean, like I said before, Vox and I sometimes we sponsor
15:58
adventuring groups together and whatever loot they get, we get a
16:03
cut of it. And he's leading you through the
16:05
house right now to the dining room table, where you see that
16:09
the table is already set for the five of you.
16:12
They get a high chair for Bunty and the cook comes out and the
16:16
servers come out with just giant meal of roasted ham, some green
16:22
beans, some mashed potatoes and the waiter turns to you.
16:27
Would you guys like anything to drink?
16:29
I almost forgot we have a gift for our hosts and we're going to
16:32
take out the bottle of Fortified.
16:34
I guess it's Whisker E and I'll offer it to Drummond.
16:39
Perhaps we can share this tonight.
16:40
Well, this is a beautiful bottle.
16:43
Thank you. Would you like it with dinner?
16:45
Would you like it post dinner? We can have some wine with
16:48
dinner and we can drink this while we're by the fireplace if
16:51
you'd like. Whatever you think is best,
16:54
you're our host. All right, well.
16:56
And I call over one of the servers, do you happen to have
16:59
any food that you can put inside of Jello?
17:02
Bunty specifically likes things inside of Jello.
17:05
Oh. My God, I love things in jello.
17:08
Specifically, lime green jello. Is Bunty from the 50s he.
17:14
Is. Bunty Lore.
17:16
The server raises an eyebrow and goes, I'll go check with the
17:21
chef to see what we can do. Like anything in jello.
17:24
Like should I just put some like mashed potatoes in jello and.
17:28
Like honestly his favorite is if you guys have some chicken feet
17:31
but don't tell him. Give it to him as a surprise
17:34
some chicken feet inside a jello and don't cook the chicken feet.
17:37
Oh, OK, The waiter kind of stops off, wildly uncomfortable.
17:46
I feel like this affects my opinion on Bunty.
17:50
Bunty, you have your favorite coming up.
17:52
Guess what? It is 0.
17:53
My God, raw chicken feet and lime green jam though.
17:57
How did you know? Oh.
17:59
My God. Of course it's live.
18:02
The bunty lore goes crazy, would you say?
18:05
Raw chicken feet. Oh my God.
18:08
I can't wait to see the character art for Bunty eating
18:11
raw chicken feet in lime green jello.
18:13
That's a textural nightmare. Bunty is like vibrating with
18:18
excitement. He like can't sit still in his
18:20
high chair. You have to like strap him in.
18:22
You earned it, buddy. You earned it.
18:25
Thank you. Thank you brother.
18:28
And maybe tonight you can get a bath too.
18:31
Oh my God, I was going to ask because this place looks like it
18:33
has like 10 baths and then Drummond turns to actually it
18:38
has 20 baths and. They're all claw feet tubs.
18:44
Oh, how did you know, Sir? I look at his paws.
18:49
Just a wild guess. So the servers come over to you
18:53
guys and start putting stuff on your plate for you, start
18:57
serving you. And Drummond gets wine, gets a
19:00
nice bottle of wine. He pours it for you guys himself
19:03
actually, and holds it up and goes well, cheers to that
19:07
amazing fat. And he clinks glasses with
19:10
these. Cheers.
19:10
Thing with the bottle or? No, he, he, he, he reported into
19:14
your own glasses. He just some just some regular
19:17
wine. Raise our glasses.
19:18
Cheers to the monos, what a great fat here.
19:22
And to our host, thank you. Thank you for having us.
19:25
And to Vox. Really.
19:26
No problem. Oh yeah, Vox.
19:29
Haven't seen him in person in about a year or so.
19:33
How's he doing? He's.
19:35
He's he's doing great. Good.
19:37
Good, he's. Yeah, he's doing fantastic,
19:39
Yeah. Fantastic.
19:40
Yeah, just really good right now, I think.
19:43
You 2 give me deception checks. I'll give I'll give you my
19:49
guidance on this. I'll give a guidance.
19:52
Oh God, it should be fine. Yeah, maybe I spoke too soon.
19:57
What is guidance giving me AD 4? AD four, yeah.
20:00
That's a 13 for me and. I have -1 that's an 8.
20:05
OK. Drummond narrows his eyes at the
20:08
two of you. Well, I don't believe you're
20:12
being quite honest with me. Has something happened to Vox?
20:18
How's he doing? So we actually, we don't know.
20:21
We haven't, we haven't heard from him super recently.
20:24
Is there a way you like you can message him or something for us
20:27
maybe? Usually he gets into contact
20:31
with me. He sends over that little bird,
20:34
Egrix. OK, well then I guess, I guess
20:38
we'll wait for Egrix. Well, he can tell that you guys
20:42
are being dishonest and maybe know something about Egrix, but
20:45
he kind of shuts his mouth and and doesn't push the topic any
20:49
further. I'm going to pry a little bit
20:52
into their relationship here and say you said you've sponsored
20:55
some gladiators in the past with with Vox.
20:58
Have you known him a long time? Are you guys old friends?
21:01
Well, we met each other. He had come to La Grande's
21:05
village about 10 years back or so.
21:09
We kind of struck up a little bit of AI.
21:12
Wouldn't call it a friendship per SE, but I mean, we did have
21:16
some good times. We used to go out drinking and
21:18
whatnot, but we sponsored some gladiators.
21:22
You know, he wasn't super rich at this point.
21:26
I mean, he was well off, but he earned a lot of money.
21:30
In these past 10 years. After gladiator fights, we kind
21:35
of expanded into adventure in parties and found some people
21:41
looking to make their way in the world, and we'd find them some
21:45
very lucrative opportunities and, you know, take a little cut
21:49
here and there for ourselves. How?
21:52
How did Vox make the money just from sponsoring gladiators or?
21:56
I mean, he had some money to begin with, nothing crazy like
22:02
me. He was definitely, I'd say upper
22:04
middle class when he came to me, but he made a ton more money
22:09
from gladiators from sponsoring some very important adventuring
22:15
parties that came back with hordes and hordes of gold.
22:19
Where did they go to get that gold?
22:21
Oh, this and that. They completed some tasks for
22:26
some other cities. One group found some missing
22:29
pirate treasure. Now that was a very interesting
22:32
one. Recently we sponsored a group to
22:36
find some, you know, horde of some Dragons treasure.
22:40
So that was pretty interesting. Oh, what was the name of that
22:44
group? Just curious, you know?
22:46
And as as Beau does this, I'm going to sort of cough a little
22:50
bit and raise my glass and look at both of them and sort of
22:53
gesture towards the drink, sort of intending to say like, let's
22:57
leave some things for later. Well, wasn't a group that was
23:00
that important? Can't even think of the name I'm
23:03
off the top of my head right now.
23:06
Can I make a insight check? You can insight check Drummond
23:10
as he's making this statement that he doesn't know the name of
23:13
this group that he sent out after the Dragons if anyone
23:17
wants to, yeah. It's like a fun insight check
23:19
20. 2 That's a 22. Nice.
23:23
No. Way I I may have gotten more
23:25
than that 24. Nice, Oh.
23:29
Well fuck me and he my I guess. Bunty, Bunty.
23:33
Bunty will the Gnat 1. Bunty.
23:36
Goes Bunty's just enjoying his jello.
23:38
Yeah, waiting. You guys can tell that Drummond
23:43
does remember the name of this adventuring party that he sent
23:47
out after the Dragons that him and Vox sent out after the
23:51
Dragons, but he's being a little tight lipped about it.
23:53
Fair enough. Well, I hope you guys have
23:56
enjoyed this dinner. Now if you want, let's retire to
24:01
the lounge and I can get the fire started and and we can
24:05
maybe get started on that bottle that you brought, Beau.
24:09
It looks mighty delicious. Yes, of course.
24:12
Would it be all right if we washed off 1st?
24:15
Oh, where are my manners? Of course.
24:18
Let me lead you all to your rooms.
24:21
He stands up, puts the napkin on the table, and beckons for you
24:25
guys to follow. You guys walk up to the second
24:29
story. The inside of here is is just as
24:32
white and bright as the outside of the building and you see
24:36
very, very fancy pieces of art hung on the wall.
24:41
Do people want to give me perception or investigation
24:44
checks as you walk upstairs? Investigations.
24:50
That'll be 21. That'll be a 16 for me. 20 for
24:53
me. What you guys can tell as you
24:55
walk upstairs is that a lot of this stuff looks looted.
24:59
It doesn't look like it was necessarily made for this place.
25:03
It's a mismatch of art styles spanning from various time
25:08
periods from various places around Exumoria.
25:11
You can even tell at least a couple of these have some like
25:14
dragon claw marks on the side of the frame.
25:18
So these were from some sort of dragon horde?
25:21
At least some of these. Do I recognize any?
25:24
Do you recognize any you rolled a what?
25:27
For I rolled a 16 on my perception check.
25:30
Yes, you recognize one painting. It's of this woman and her
25:36
child, both of them dressed in, I would say, like Victorian era
25:41
garb. It's probably just stylized like
25:44
that and you recognize it from when you were inside of the
25:50
Dragon Iseth's horde. OK, well that answers my earlier
25:54
question. I'm going to as we're walking
25:56
behind them, I'm going to message to both Bond and a The
26:00
group that he hired was the Claw Mark trio.
26:03
They were the ones that chased off the dragon and brought me
26:06
out of the horde. And what you also remember about
26:10
the Clawmark trio is that the Emperador also hired them to
26:17
kill the Dragons. Possibly the Clawmark trio was
26:20
working for multiple people at the same time.
26:23
Double dipping, OK. So Drummond leads you to the
26:27
guys to 3:00 rooms that are right in a row.
26:30
Inside of them are they're all pretty much identical.
26:33
There's just a large king size canopy bed with a dresser and
26:39
its own attached bathroom like you said, a tub with claw legs
26:44
on it. And Drummond turns to you, Abe
26:47
and goes. Does your brother want his own
26:50
room? He's I left him downstairs.
26:52
He's still finishing up the chicken feet and jello, but he
26:57
can have his own room. He I didn't know if you wanted
26:59
to stay with him or what the plan was.
27:03
You can let him have a different bathtub, but he can stay in the
27:07
same room as me. That sounds great.
27:10
Well, whenever he's finished, I'll go lead him upstairs and he
27:15
can go take a bath. Thank you and I do kind of a
27:18
weird awkward bow. Well, no need to do that, Sir.
27:23
Oh OK, sorry. And then I curtsy.
27:26
OK, well. With your cloak.
27:29
Yeah, yeah. Alright, I'll let you all get
27:33
ready. Thank you, Drummond.
27:34
Yeah, no problem. If you need me, I'll be in the
27:38
lounge. And he goes back downstairs.
27:40
I say to Bo, and I'm going to kind of whisper this, try to
27:44
make sure nobody hears it. Bo, are you affected by alcohol
27:48
with fuel body? How does that work?
27:51
Yeah, I think I'm affected slightly more than most people.
27:55
Oh wow. OK.
27:58
Bo remind everyone your first memories as you woke up.
28:02
You've told them before, but. Yeah, it was jolted awake by the
28:05
taste of of alcohol. Like I can eat and drink stuff.
28:09
So you know, something in there is still affected by me and
28:13
still requires like some amount of sustenance and things.
28:19
OK, I just wasn't sure. I, I, I've seen you eat before,
28:22
but you know, I wasn't sure how alcohol would work with your
28:25
system. It's good to know.
28:26
Bunty's immune to intoxication and poisons might be wrong.
28:32
Interesting. He is immune to charmed in
28:35
poison, but I think he can still get intoxicated.
28:38
I'd say. I'd say that it'd be harder to
28:41
get him intoxicated, but he's also like a foot, foot and a
28:44
half tall, so it kind of evens out a little bit.
28:48
Bunty can handle more than he looks like he can.
28:51
And I say, I say to the two of you, all right, let's lock in
28:54
downstairs when we return. We should do like a quick sweep
28:58
of the rooms to make sure there's no way that he can, you
29:01
know, look in on us or anything like that.
29:04
Yeah, I can cast Detect Magic and do a quick pass through all
29:07
our rooms. I'll just do like a perception
29:10
check for like peepholes or stuff like that.
29:12
Everyone give me their perception check and then bond.
29:16
You can do it with advantage with your Detect Magic I.
29:20
Don't really know what to look for so I specifically look for
29:24
two way mirrors. Very, very good.
29:27
Very so. Funny.
29:30
Like you guys say what you're looking for and I'm like, huh,
29:32
Not really sure what else there could be.
29:35
You're just doing the trick where you put your finger up to
29:37
it to see if there's space between.
29:40
Oh, it's actually pretty good though.
29:41
It's a 21 for me, 14. To 23.
29:45
No two way mirrors. No, no two way mirrors, no
29:49
peepholes. The only magic that you see bon
29:53
is magic for the shower and the toilet.
29:57
Nice. So you guys seem to be pretty
29:59
alone there if you guys want to get cleaned up.
30:02
Hell yeah, it's been a long time since I've had hot shower.
30:05
You guys all take a nice shower at some point Bunty goes up and
30:09
takes his own bath in his own bathroom and then hops into Abes
30:14
room and goes Abe. I think I stained his shower
30:17
black. That's fine, Bunty.
30:20
He's got enough money to clean it.
30:21
You think so? OK.
30:22
I just feel bad. I didn't know if we had to like
30:25
you, you buy it type of ordeal or like no, what's that about?
30:28
It's probably fine. OK, But I do have a question.
30:31
Did you try hard on the Jelly? You're supposed to find a
30:34
creative way to the chicken feet.
30:35
You know, we've talked about that.
30:37
Don't take the easiest pass to the chicken feet.
30:39
No, no, no. I got you hard.
30:40
Yeah, I definitely tried really hard.
30:43
So I took my insider and stabbed it into the Jello and then dug
30:47
my finger in the jello kind of around until I got like the
30:51
chicken feet out. And then I slipped up the jello
30:53
at the end. Good job, Good job.
30:56
But bunty enrichment? Yeah, Bunty enrichment you.
30:59
Guys are so good. It helps him slow down when he's
31:02
eating. It's like I was thinking like a
31:04
concrete for a dog. Yeah, exactly.
31:07
So you guys all take your baths and reconvene and head down the
31:12
stairs where there is the Butler who points you to wearing the
31:15
lounge is in the back of the house.
31:18
The lounge is imagine, you know, those like conversation pit type
31:23
of things where you like, step down to where like the sofa is
31:27
like a foot below the actual ground.
31:29
So you guys are kind of chilling in that pit and there's a fire
31:33
that is going. So the room is quite warm, quite
31:36
comfortable. Drummond has poured each of you
31:40
a little glass of the whiskey. Awesome.
31:44
Tell us about the drinking mechanics.
31:46
What's this going to do for us? Yeah, since this is very strong
31:52
alcohol that both specified that this is very strong.
31:55
Usually only after your third drink you'll have to roll a con
31:59
saving throw. But this time after each drink
32:02
you'll have to roll a con saving throw with the DC getting
32:06
higher. So your first drink will be a
32:09
con saving throw 10, your second drink will be thirteen, your
32:14
third drink will be 16, and your 4th drink onward.
32:19
We'll all be CON saving throws of 20 plus.
32:22
OK, and what happens if we fail? If you fail, you are drunk.
32:26
So role play wise you got to act like you're drunk and if you get
32:32
more than two levels of drunk, you will wake up with
32:37
exhaustion. Awesome.
32:39
All right, so he hands each of you a drink and goes please sit
32:43
down and and let's all toast again to our new found
32:47
friendship. I raise the drink.
32:49
As do I. As I take a sip it just like
32:52
burns so bad I'm just. Oh, not a not a drinker there,
32:58
Bon. I I just it's a special way of
33:03
aerating the drink. It makes it taste better.
33:07
Well, I've never heard that before, but if it tastes better
33:10
to you, so be it. Yeah, I think it's a drow thing.
33:15
I haven't met many dry in my time so that's definitely
33:19
interesting to hear. I whispered A bunty.
33:23
Pace yourself. OK, he finishes his whole drink
33:27
in one go. I'm going to get naked and stand
33:31
on an elevated surface and dance.
33:33
Bunty, you're basically always. Ready.
33:38
I have a cloak, remember, I have a cloak.
33:41
I know, but it's not tied very well.
33:43
We can see everything. So my ass has been out this
33:46
whole time and no one thought to tell me.
33:49
And I take a sip of my drink. I'm going to cast Thalmaturgy
33:53
and cause. So one of the things you can do
33:56
with Thalmaturgy is fire play. You can cause flames to flicker,
33:59
brighten, dim, or change color for one minute.
34:02
So I'm going to cause them to brighten and flicker for a
34:06
second, and then hopefully I'm going to use that distraction to
34:10
pour some of the drink into a water skin that I brought with
34:14
me. Great, so roll your sleight of
34:18
hand with advantage. I was thinking of doing
34:21
something similar. Can I possibly notice that and
34:24
also use that as a distraction? I mean, yeah, you guys were all
34:27
trying to not get too drunk. So you guys can do that, Abe, if
34:31
you want to as well, but you can drink too.
34:33
I didn't know how to do this so but I so I think it'd be funnier
34:39
if I do drink, I don't have a distraction prepared.
34:41
OK, so Bo and Bond, you will sleight a hand with advantage
34:45
and Drummond will roll a perception check flat. 14. 23.
34:52
Drummond doesn't notice Bo at all, but he looks over at you,
34:56
bond and goes, Is this drink not to?
34:58
You're lacking. I can get you something else.
35:02
He looks offended. No, it's fantastic drumming.
35:05
No, no, it's. So good drumming, Sir.
35:07
And I stand in front of Bond and I down my whole glass.
35:10
It's so good. All right, Abe, give me your
35:13
first constitution saving through.
35:16
I'm going to tell them no, I'm just actually using some of it
35:19
to sterilize my my water skin here and then I mix it around in
35:24
the water skin and drink out of the water skin.
35:27
Now let me see you finish your drink Bond.
35:30
I don't want to be offended. Of course, of course, I got it,
35:34
Bond. I got it, Bond.
35:35
Don't worry about it. Abe, what was your con saving
35:38
throw? It's an 11.
35:40
OK, so you passed the first one Bond roll your con saving
35:43
through. Yeah, I drink it.
35:45
I'm sorry Bon, I tried. It's a 14.
35:48
OK, you pass your first one and then Bo.
35:50
You were able to pour out like half of your glass, so you're
35:53
fine right now. But do you finish the rest of
35:56
the glass Bo or do you just keep some in there for now?
35:59
Just going to keep some in there, make it look like I'm
36:02
taking my time with it. All right, Drummond finishes his
36:05
also and passes his constitution saving through and he turns to
36:09
you, Bo and goes Bo, you got to catch up to to the rest of us.
36:14
Just as a question, if I like drink this, would it just be a
36:16
easier constitution safe or? Yeah, it would just be like ADC
36:20
5 con save because you poured half of it out.
36:22
OK, I mean, it's not like Bo's a teetotaler, so he'll drink some
36:26
of it. All right, Yeah, You finish off
36:28
whatever is left in. Your I just want to, I just want
36:30
a healthy buzz, you know, a functional buzz that will be 17.
36:36
You're all good. How's Drummond looking?
36:39
Drummond looks fine. He goes around and pours another
36:42
hefty glass for all of you and start sipping his immediately.
36:47
Well, this fire does seem nice. I like the way that it flickers
36:53
and he kind of stares off into it.
36:56
I'm gonna, as he's looking in the fire, I'm gonna cast Mage
36:58
Hand Ledger Mane and make it invisible.
37:01
And is there like a glass on the table where he got these glasses
37:06
from? That's kind of near the edge.
37:08
Yeah, yeah, there's a, there's a bunch of them.
37:10
Then I'm gonna I'm gonna send it over there and knock a glass off
37:14
of the table. Oh no, What happened here?
37:18
And he looks over to the glass on the ground and gets ready to
37:23
call over the maid to clean it up.
37:25
Yeah, as he's looking over then I'm going to once again get rid
37:28
of some of my drink. As he's looking over, I look, I
37:31
look to Abe and I'm like, dude, you got to take some of my
37:34
drink, please. Just pour some into abes glass.
37:44
I feel like it's easier than the canteen I'll.
37:46
Do my sleight of hand this time to quickly pour some of bonds.
37:49
Drink. Yeah, go for it.
37:51
So Bow. And aid give me your.
37:52
Sleight of hands with advantage. I'll give you guidance as well.
37:57
You said guidance of D4. Yeah. 21.
38:01
Awesome, that is unfortunately just a 13 for me.
38:05
This was a big enough distraction that Drummond didn't
38:08
notice this at all. So.
38:10
All right, awesome. Bo, you're able to pour yours
38:12
out. And Abe, you're taking bonds.
38:15
Drink. Sorry, Drummond.
38:17
And I try to sip the difference. No, this is honestly good.
38:21
Drummond turns to you guys and goes, well, bottoms up, let's
38:25
see who can finish it first. I've already finished mine.
38:30
I drink. Mine.
38:31
I take a big gulp before I drink the rest of my.
38:37
So a. Big Gulp followed by a Big Gulp.
38:40
You have to skip the second one since you got a double drink.
38:43
So give me your Constitution saving throw.
38:47
OK, OK, that one. Oh no.
38:53
Oh Abe, you are the wrong. Oh, my brother, you and me, Abe,
39:01
take off your clothes and come dance with me.
39:03
I start taking my cloak off. Oh, it's a little hot.
39:06
In here. Oh yeah, He's feeling himself
39:09
right now. He's feeling himself.
39:11
Drummond, Sir, did you just put on some music?
39:15
Yeah, yeah, Drummond just put on.
39:17
And I started swaying a little. That's a 7.
39:20
Incredible. And I hold up my glass to pour
39:24
me another one, Sir, if you don't mind.
39:26
I, I put my hand up on actually like, hey, actually I think you
39:30
might have had enough. Drummond turns to you Bond and
39:32
goes Bond. Don't be a buzzkill.
39:35
He wants another drink. Let him have another drink.
39:38
He just had a big fat today. I saw him see his brother almost
39:43
die. He needs a drink and Drummond
39:45
kind of bypasses you Bond and pours aberglass bottoms.
39:50
Maybe this is the last one. All right, We've got a big fight
39:53
tomorrow for him. I turn to you, slurring a
39:56
little, and I say bon bon and I try to whisper, put some of your
40:01
drink in my drink, Bon like the last, and I wink.
40:07
OK, so Abe, give me a stealth with disadvantage because you're
40:13
drunk, and then Drummond is going to roll a perception check
40:17
to see if you heard that. Fantastic, it's a 16 plus it's a
40:22
-115. I'm going to give guidance on
40:25
that. He doesn't like see you slurring
40:28
at me. I see the look in your eye.
40:29
It's a four on the guidance. I got a 19 but then it was a
40:32
negative. One for the 16.
40:33
So Drummond doesn't hear that at all.
40:36
He's mesmerized by the way Bunty's little bean body is kind
40:40
of dancing on an elevated surface.
40:42
And he goes, well, that Bunty, he seems like he could be a
40:47
dancer. And Bunty goes, yeah, I used to
40:50
be an exotic dancer and starts, like, feeling himself.
40:55
So how's Drummond looking? Drummond looking okay, he's
40:59
looking glazed over the eyes, but he's not drunk just yet.
41:04
And he turns to you guys and goes, let's have another one and
41:10
starts to Chuck his drink. And he turns to Abe and goes,
41:13
Abe, you're my best friend out of all these guys.
41:16
Come on, let's finish your drink.
41:18
Drummond. Drummond, Sir, I feel like.
41:22
Abe, come on. Come on.
41:25
And he's starting to, like, lift the glass into your mouth.
41:27
Come on, Abe. Yeah, I know you want it.
41:30
Sipping and I'm like, your parents are dead.
41:35
My parents. Are dead.
41:37
Your husband is dead. No.
41:44
Brothers in prison. And did I tell you he went a
41:51
little mad too? Oh.
41:55
Well, how did he go? Well, first, let's roll our con
41:58
saving throws. You and me, Abe.
41:59
Yeah. Not one.
42:03
Oh, no, Abe. Abe, you are.
42:06
Do you have your heroic? Inspirations.
42:07
Oh, I do. I do.
42:09
Let me use my. Yeah, you should use it.
42:11
You need over 20 CON saving through.
42:14
Good Lord. Yeah, it's a 19.
42:19
It was very close. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
42:22
wait. It's a 20.
42:23
Dirty is that it has to be over 20.
42:26
NO20 dirty is fine. So you're like barely hanging on
42:32
right now. You're barely hanging out.
42:34
And Drummond. Drummond's looking a little
42:36
drunk after his third drink, and he turns to Abe and goes, Abe,
42:41
what happened to your brother? How did he go mad?
42:46
That's a great story, Sir. I'm I'm going to, as he's
42:50
looking at Abe, I'm going to shoot a message at Abe.
42:53
Don't say too much. He went, on he went.
43:02
Oh, he went. Oh, Abe.
43:05
Him and my parents went on. Hey, let's, let's go lie you
43:11
down. And Drummond calls out Butler.
43:14
Butler. Come here.
43:16
Butler. And I snap out of me little and
43:18
I and I take a deep breath and I say my brother went on an
43:22
expedition that he shouldn't have and witches got.
43:26
Him. And witches got him and and
43:30
these witches. Witches.
43:31
They enticed him. They enticed him.
43:34
And then they cursed him. And I start laughing.
43:41
They cursed him, drumming, Sir. And then I start crying.
43:45
Tears start, kind of. They cursed him.
43:47
Drumming, Sir, They cursed. Him, these witches, Abe.
43:50
Yeah. And they, they cursed.
43:51
They cursed Abe too. And they turned him human.
43:54
Yeah, that's why he used to be a different creature.
43:57
And. I I hope all of this distraction
44:00
is enough for me to pour my drink into my water skin.
44:02
Yeah, you're you don't even have to roll for that.
44:05
Actually, my other brother that went crazy, No, Bo.
44:10
No, my other brother that went crazy was not like me and Bunty,
44:14
He was always human. And his name was Alphonse.
44:18
Yeah, his name was Alphonse. Alphonse He.
44:20
Was. Best of us.
44:21
I'm gonna, I'm gonna bring him up to I'm gonna bring him up to
44:24
bed. I think I'll be back down in a
44:27
minute. Yeah, that seems like maybe be
44:30
away before. You take me away, Drummond.
44:33
What was what was your husband's name?
44:35
He starts to tear up a little bit.
44:38
His name was Jacob. Oh, that's beautiful.
44:42
And I start bursting out into tears.
44:45
Oh, Jake. All right, buddy, let's let's
44:47
go, Let's go. And you guys head out.
44:51
And I I pretend to to chug my glass and I say there better be
44:55
another one when I get back. Oh, you know, there will be all.
44:59
Right, I'll bring, I'll bring Abe up to bed.
45:01
Drummond turns to you, Bo as they're leaving and goes Bo, I
45:06
got a secret. Oh, I lied.
45:08
His name was Wyatt. Damn.
45:13
You're you're a clever one. You're such a weird median.
45:17
It was funny. It was funny.
45:20
He. Says it loud enough that Bond
45:21
hears it. Yeah, he's so drunk too.
45:27
Just feeling so good right now, Bo.
45:30
And he throws his arm around you as you're sitting on the couch.
45:33
Hey, I'm I'm feeling good too. Yeah, this is good stuff, isn't
45:37
it? Yeah, thank you for the alcohol.
45:39
It kind of tastes a little shitty, but it did the trick in
45:43
my rat. This is a special style of of
45:46
whiskery. Has has shitty overtones to it,
45:50
but those it's intentional, it's intentional.
45:52
It's it's even more expensive, in fact.
45:55
That's interesting. Well, I'm so glad you bought me
45:58
a little like host gift. That was so kind of y'all.
46:03
It's the least I can do. I mean, you're, you're letting
46:06
us into your home. You've already shared personal
46:09
details of your life. He like takes off his hat and
46:13
his like suit jacket and like starts unbuttoning the what's it
46:17
the vest of his three piece suit and just starts to get like a
46:21
little bit more comfortable, just like stretching out on the
46:24
couch a little bit. I'm going to tuck Abe and Bunty
46:28
in together. Obviously Bunty's big spooning.
46:31
Of course, of course. I'll put a glass of water next
46:34
to them. It's called jet packing when the
46:36
little one is the big spoon jet. Packing.
46:38
Can I make a con saving through to see if I actually go to
46:41
sleep? Yeah, let's see if you yeah, I
46:43
can get the dizzy's the spins before bed.
46:45
Abe's not getting the exhaustion yet, is he?
46:47
No, no, no. He's one more.
46:49
OK, good, good. I'm going to say to him while
46:52
we're alone, you you mentioned some some Dragons earlier.
46:56
Yeah. Frankly, it's just area of
46:59
interest for me. And I I heard a little rumor
47:04
that you might not be the only one in this country, the only
47:08
person of importance who's looking for Dragons.
47:12
Do you know anything about that? Oh, you mean the Imperator?
47:16
I I might. I'm not his biggest fan.
47:21
I mean, we have had dinner together once or twice, but
47:25
like, oh, he's tough. He has no fun at all.
47:31
He's just all business. Trust me, I I know what it's
47:35
like to have dinner with people you don't like.
47:38
Hopefully not me. Of course not.
47:41
If I didn't like you, I wouldn't have given you this really
47:44
expensive alcohol. Oh, so true.
47:46
So. What did you, what is your role,
47:48
Abe? Yeah.
47:49
It was in that 20 but I didn't want to interrupt and I was
47:52
wondering does that does that help me in any way?
47:54
You pass out immediately. It's good.
47:57
Good, you you just pass out. You're going to get your full 8
48:00
hours of sleep. You're going to sleep so fucking
48:02
heavily. Fantastic.
48:03
I'm going to come back downstairs and take a seat
48:05
again. Drummond turns to.
48:07
Yeah, well, we were just talking about the Imperator.
48:11
He's a little bit of a stick in the mud.
48:14
He's so intense. I mean, ever since he became
48:18
extractions champion, it's all fire.
48:21
This fire, that fire everywhere, you know?
48:26
Yeah, Speaking of gods, I open my pocket watch and I say, I
48:30
don't know if you noticed, but I'm a follower of this mirror,
48:33
and I'm going to cast the next Shard and illuminate the room a
48:36
little bit, sort of give myself another opportunity to pour out
48:39
the drink. He's looking around aimlessly,
48:41
he's so drunk. Fluidly in that I'm going to
48:44
say, you know, Vox has this symbol on his his cloak as well.
48:49
I don't know if you've ever talked to him about his
48:50
relationship with that Smira, but I was just curious, you
48:53
know, like what you know. Yeah.
48:56
You know, we talked a little bit about it.
48:59
I mean, I just haven't. The gods are not my interests
49:06
particularly. But I know a little bit about
49:09
his past. You know, up until 10 years ago,
49:13
he said he was pretty isolated. He was just working on some
49:18
stuff, figuring some stuff out. I don't really know what he
49:23
means, but he said he was alone in the world, had no one, no
49:28
family, no nothing that he could rely on.
49:31
Said that his brother was dead, his parents were dead, everyone
49:36
was dead. Seems like a common theme,
49:39
right? You know.
49:39
Yeah, it is a harsh and cruel world out here.
49:43
Somewhere upstairs, Abe mutters. Me too.
49:49
Where's where's Bunty right now? Bunty's tucked in with him.
49:52
Oh, OK, OK. A little tear falls from
49:54
Drummond's eyes. It is a cruel world out there
49:58
and I just want the best for me and my little Remington.
50:03
I just want to make sure that he is taken care of and that we get
50:07
to live a long and happy life together.
50:10
That's what matters. His family.
50:12
It's a real tragedy. I mean, congenital heart disease
50:15
can strike anybody. I know.
50:18
I really didn't know that it was going to happen.
50:21
He was so young and he was taken from us.
50:25
Only the clerics had caught it sooner.
50:28
I want to do an insight check to see I believe him, but I want to
50:31
see if he's lying about how his husband died.
50:34
Yes, yeah, go for it. Oh, OK, 22.
50:39
Yeah, he's telling the truth. It was just a tragedy.
50:41
All right, let's do another another round of drinks.
50:44
Oh yeah, let's go and do that. He starts to pour a little bit
50:49
and it's like sloppy pours where it kind of like spills out of
50:52
the glass a little bit and he. Let's take the ball from him to
50:55
finish the pour and then pour his regularly and then do a
50:59
sloppy pour for me and bond. Yeah, absolutely.
51:03
Pour his over. Yeah.
51:06
To the brim. He's so delicately trying to
51:10
lift it with his hand, he spills a little on his shirt.
51:13
Oh well, you know, what can you do?
51:16
And he starts drinking his drink again.
51:18
Let's roll. I'm just going to drink this one
51:21
regularly because I think I can take it at this point.
51:24
Yeah, I'll also do that. I don't know how many more
51:26
rounds we're going to do. I think we're.
51:28
Probably almost done with the bottle.
51:30
Yeah, yeah, you guys just have to beat ADC 13.
51:32
Con It's a Nat 20. Nice.
51:34
Well, it's not for me, so I am a little bit drunk now, but that's
51:38
fine. I wanted to get at least a
51:39
little bit drunk before I went to sleep.
51:41
Of course, Drummond is like, well, tell me about you guys.
51:46
What do you guys like to do in your free time?
51:49
What's your family like? Are they alive?
51:51
Are they dead? You got a brother, You got a
51:54
daughter, You got a son. What do you got?
51:56
I'm going to try to trick him into thinking that we already
52:00
told him all of that. That's so good.
52:03
We just finished talking about all of us.
52:06
I'm a little. Bit no, I remember.
52:08
No, I remember. Of course I remember Bond.
52:10
You have like 4 kids right? Quite caught triplets.
52:14
So what are they called? Yes.
52:16
All girls. You seem like a girl.
52:19
Oh, yeah. And Bo, you can't reproduce.
52:21
You told me you're sterile. Yeah.
52:24
Hey, your mind's your mind's like a steel trap does nothing
52:27
leaves you. Yeah, nothing leaves me, that's
52:31
for sure. Yeah, unfortunately Abe has has
52:33
gone to sleep, but he's he's a little bit of a of a scholar and
52:37
he has he has quite the interest in the Verelian shards and a
52:43
little birdie told me a little birdie.
52:45
I think you know which birdie I'm talking about.
52:48
Yeah, good bird. Yes, you might know a thing or
52:51
two, or even maybe own a thing or two from the Varelian shards.
52:56
Well, I don't own anything as of right now, but Vox and I, we
53:04
hired this group. They're called like the.
53:07
Well, what are they called? Call Mark Trio.
53:11
Yeah, call. Mark Trio.
53:12
You mentioned. Them earlier.
53:14
Oh, yeah, yeah, of course I did. Yeah.
53:16
We, we hired them to go look for, you know, you know, the
53:20
dragon Scoria? Yeah, she's got 2 hidden hordes.
53:24
We only knew about one that was hidden.
53:28
And then there was 2. And then the Clawmark trio.
53:31
Yeah, they found it. Yeah.
53:33
And there's some stuff in it and stuff.
53:35
But like we had the Clawmark trio, they have to go like get
53:40
the stuff. And then they said that they'll
53:42
like bring me some of the stuff from the horse and stuff.
53:45
I don't necessarily trust them and stuff, but like, I don't
53:50
know, I'm not, I can't leave Remington and go to the Horde
53:53
myself. So they said that they'd bring
53:56
me some stuff and stuff. I have AI have a wild idea.
54:00
What if we what if we go check up on them and see see how
54:04
they're doing? If you just let us know where
54:06
they are? The horde or the trio?
54:08
The trio there, they got a couple stuff brewing.
54:11
They can't just go back to the Horde immediately.
54:15
They said that they'll come and see me in like a couple months.
54:19
They'll get the stuff and they'll come and give me some
54:21
stuff and stuff. You know, I don't necessarily
54:24
trust them because I mean, they work for the Imperator as well.
54:29
Who knows how many people they're working for, you know,
54:32
do. You have any any big ventures
54:35
coming up that you know, like you're always looking for hordes
54:38
and things like that? Is there something you had in
54:41
mind for your next one? Right now I'm just kind of
54:44
waiting to see what what what we'll find in Scoria's Secret
54:48
Horde, you know, see what I can get and see if that leads me
54:53
anywhere. Sometimes we find some cool
54:55
things and we'll use that as kind of like a jumping off point
54:59
to find other cool stuff, you know?
55:02
Yeah, yeah. Where where did you say that
55:04
that horde was again? You were saying?
55:06
Oh, I, I didn't, I didn't say where the horde was.
55:11
It's in my brain somewhere. Of course, steel trap.
55:16
Yeah, it's somewhere, huh? Where is the second horde?
55:20
Where is that horde? And he's going to roll.
55:23
Don't we know roughly where scoria is?
55:25
What continent? You know that there is one horde
55:30
that's hidden and that's in Ash and Ignovar.
55:33
That's where she was last seen, at least there.
55:35
OK, but you don't know. He's talking about some other
55:38
secret horde somewhere. OK.
55:40
What you can tell from this? Probably not Ash End, probably
55:43
not even ignore Varum. Yeah.
55:46
OK. And he's going to roll.
55:47
He gets a three. I can't think of where it is
55:50
right now. I just a little fuzzy up there.
55:54
But you know, you said something interesting.
55:56
You said maybe you go get the stuff for me, right?
55:59
You said that. If you don't want to wait super
56:01
long for for the Klawmark trio to get back and if you feel like
56:05
you don't trust, I mean, like, Fox is the only one we're
56:08
working for, So what? What would it be to trust about
56:12
us? Yeah, no, you're right.
56:15
You got some good thoughts in that head, That big old head of
56:19
yours. Why are you looking so
56:21
nondescript, Bo? I can't describe you if I tried.
56:25
Just a man. You know you.
56:27
Know and bond you're looking so descript.
56:30
What's up with that? I look at him and I say, oh, you
56:33
know, when I was born, my parents described me very well.
56:37
Yeah, I bet they did. Listen.
56:41
What were we talking about? We were talking about Vox a bit
56:45
more. Oh, good guy.
56:47
Yeah. He, you know, his mama's dead.
56:50
His dad's dead. His brother, Yeah, everyone's
56:53
dead. Yeah.
56:54
Oh yeah. If you know what where like what
56:57
village he was from. Good question.
57:01
He just said not from here like he said he wasn't from IG
57:06
Novarum. That's all I got.
57:09
He's a real, he's a real strange looking man, isn't he?
57:12
Yeah, well. Years and things.
57:14
He looks like a little bit like the Impera tricks, but.
57:17
You know, he wears the mask and stuff.
57:19
You know he's got that gold mask on his face and that top hat.
57:23
Never seen him take off the mask.
57:25
No, he doesn't even eat when he's around me.
57:29
I never him seen him do that before.
57:32
OK, yeah, sometimes when he speaks, I'm like, are you even
57:36
real? Are you real?
57:38
Is that man real? Or is he just, you know, you
57:41
know, the war forged all those those people that were born of
57:46
metal. They were not human and then
57:47
made metal. They were born of metal.
57:49
Yeah, them I sometimes think is he?
57:52
Is he one of them? But most war forged, they don't
57:55
really leave federal man Alex. I mean, they kind of are meant
58:00
to stay there. I don't think they can leave
58:02
fair room Alex. But maybe he was a man that's
58:05
now some type of robots. And Drummond, Drummond, I'm
58:09
getting pretty tired. But I guess I just said one more
58:11
question about Vox was like, did you guys ever work with anybody
58:15
else? Is there any other contacts you
58:18
might know for Vox? Well, a lot of the gladiators
58:21
that we used to sponsor are dead now.
58:25
There might be one more adventuring group out there, but
58:29
they cut ties with us because they thought we were taking too
58:32
big of a percentage all. Right, well I'll see you in the
58:36
morning. And I pat bow on the shoulder as
58:39
well. I head up to bed.
58:40
Goodnight Bone. I better get some rest too if I
58:43
want to. Wait, wait.
58:45
If I want to do well. Well, we, I wanted to say
58:48
something to you. I, I talked to your manager
58:52
about this briefly, but it would mean the world to me if you
58:57
could endorse me. And so I was thinking just right
59:01
now I had this, maybe it's a little bit of a crazy thought.
59:05
Maybe it's not that crazy. Maybe.
59:07
Am I crazy? Are we all a little bit?
59:10
Huh. OK, well, yeah, just what?
59:14
Yeah, so I was thinking things from the horde would be cool and
59:20
interesting for me to have, but I have a lot of things already.
59:25
I'm rich beyond belief by this point.
59:28
What I really want is to be mayor of this here village and I
59:34
was thinking the election is in two days time.
59:38
If you could get get me to be male, maybe I would just let you
59:42
know where the horde is and you guys can just keep whatever I
59:46
don't necessarily need the stuff in there might be cool, but I
59:51
have enough money and honestly I'm just trying to set myself up
59:55
for Remington's future. So make me male and I'll get
59:59
tell you where the horde is. I think that's a fair trade,
1:00:03
don't you think? And, and I mean, to be clear,
1:00:07
it's not just we have to endorse you and you tell us, but you
1:00:10
have to win in order for you to tell us, right?
1:00:12
Oh, yes, Sir, it's in two days. I just want to be mayor and I
1:00:16
want to show my son Remington that you can do anything if you
1:00:20
make your mind up for it, to make your mind, you know.
1:00:25
Of course, how you're a you're a good role model to your son.
1:00:31
I mean, I know that my drinking is a little out of hand.
1:00:35
I know it is usually his dad who used to help him with all the
1:00:39
stuff. I just been hard.
1:00:41
It's been hard. He starts crying.
1:00:44
That's, that's, I understand. Look, I mean, you know, we're,
1:00:49
we're called the Monos, but we're actually a trio.
1:00:52
And I can't, I can't necessarily make a decision for all of us
1:00:56
while Abe is asleep. Of course I'm going to have to,
1:00:58
we're going to have to talk to our manager about that and who
1:01:02
knows where he is right now. So we'll, we'll consider that,
1:01:07
but it's a, it's an interesting offer.
1:01:09
Yeah, well, I just thought, you know, I give you the thing you
1:01:13
want, You give me the thing I want, and then we, we'll see.
1:01:19
Yeah, You tell me tomorrow. But, you know, two days time,
1:01:23
the election happens in two days.
1:01:24
So I kind of got to like, get a, get a move on, on this.
1:01:28
That fucking damn Peshwari, she keeps stealing all my votes and
1:01:31
then fucking clear word and all his shit.
1:01:34
I fucking hate clear word. I'd rather Peshwari win,
1:01:37
honestly, honestly. But I, I need, I'd rather win #1
1:01:43
I'd rather win #2 Peshwari win and #3 fucking clear word.
1:01:49
Yeah, that's the three of them. Yeah.
1:01:51
You know what, we'll take that into consideration.
1:01:53
I can't, I can't answer for them, but it's it's an
1:01:57
interesting opportunity. Certainly we'd love to see some
1:02:00
stuff from the Varelian shards. This was a nice talk Bo, but
1:02:05
maybe it's time for us to get to bed.
1:02:08
Of course you need. Do you need help getting to bed
1:02:10
or? No I'm OK, I have my bedrooms on
1:02:14
the 1st floor it's just next door so I usually just stumbled
1:02:18
into there so don't worry about it but thank you.
1:02:22
Yeah, of course. I'll see you in the morning.
1:02:25
I'm going to pop into even Bunty's room real quick just to
1:02:29
check in on them, make sure there are it.
1:02:31
Yeah, make. Sure, sleeping on the side and.
1:02:38
The two of them are passed down. Excellent.
1:02:41
I'm pretty drunk. How well do I think I would be
1:02:43
able to like sneak around a little bit?
1:02:45
Are there servants around and stuff?
1:02:47
Yeah, this is like a full staff house where they like live in
1:02:50
the house. Fair enough.
1:02:51
OK then I'll just go to sleep. Maybe I'll save that for a night
1:02:54
where I'm not drunk. So you guys head off to bed and
1:02:59
Beau and Abe, you're having some weird drunk dreams.
1:03:03
You know, you sleep pretty well, but you have some odd dreams
1:03:07
about Dragons and and whatever this horde might mean.
1:03:11
Abe, you're dreaming about your brother in prison and you all
1:03:15
wake with the sound of a loud crash.
1:03:19
And that is where we'll end our session.
1:03:21
Oh. 2 for two on the cliffhangers of Neat.
1:03:24
Yeah, Oh my God. That was so good the the drum
1:03:29
and RP that was impeccable. Thank you.
1:03:31
Oh man that was so fun. I know this was a very big
1:03:35
talkie session but I think it was just.
1:03:37
I love a good RP session. As do I it's.
1:03:41
Also like kind of an unconventional puzzle of like
1:03:43
how to get somebody drunk without getting drunk ourselves.
1:03:46
Yeah, that was very funny. Yeah.
1:03:48
I thank. You for following on that sorry
1:03:51
babe, I'm so sorry we. Did we think we needed the
1:03:55
sacrificial, you know? Understandable.
1:03:58
Understandable. Yeah.
1:03:59
That was incredible. That was so funny.
1:04:02
You guys were very smart like about doing that.
1:04:05
I didn't know if you guys were all just going to say fuck it
1:04:08
and try to drink and pass the con saving throws or what you
1:04:11
were going to do, but I love it was.
1:04:13
Awesome. I love it.
1:04:14
It's like Bo and me come in with a plan.
1:04:17
Abe's just like just we're both, we're both just like working
1:04:21
full brain and you're just. Oh, what I love.
1:04:27
How was it Beau was like, don't tell him too much.
1:04:31
And I went to witches. I went to witches.
1:04:34
That was so good. The witches was so funny, just
1:04:37
like out of out of nowhere and just for our listeners to know
1:04:41
it wasn't witches as far as we know.
1:04:44
Yeah, no, that was a lie. All right, great.
1:04:48
That was so fun. If you like the podcast, make
1:04:51
sure to follow and rate US on Spotify or Apple Music or join
1:04:55
us on our social media for updates, official art and more.
1:04:58
We are on Instagram at Smooth Critical podcast and Blue sky at
1:05:02
Smooth critical. It was a pleasure playing with
1:05:05
you all and I'll see you next time.
1:05:08
Bye bye. Bye.