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Not Much of a Saint | Episode 31 · Stories That Live In Us

• 0:01
  Crista Cowan: Stories that Live In Us is a podcast that inspires you to form deep connections with your family past, present and future.
• 0:09
  Crista Cowan: I'm Crista Cowan, known online as The Barefoot Genealogist.
• 0:13
  Crista Cowan: I've spent my whole life discovering the power of family history and I know that sharing the stories that live in you can change everything can change everything.
• 0:29
  Crista Cowan: Way back in episode six, you met my sister-in-law and she talked about how, every year around the dinner table on someone's birthday, the mothers share the birth story, whether it's her sharing the birth story of her children with them or us calling my mom on speakerphone and having her share our birth stories.
• 0:44
  Crista Cowan: And so, as my birthday is approaching, I thought maybe I would share a little bit of my birth story with you and how that has impacted me in the world.
• 0:55
  Crista Cowan: Now here's what you need to know.
• 0:58
  Crista Cowan: I was born on November 1st, which, of course, is the day after Halloween.
• 1:03
  Crista Cowan: Now, I wasn't supposed to be born on November 1st.
• 1:06
  Crista Cowan: I was supposed to be born much closer to Christmas.
• 1:09
  Crista Cowan: I'm my parents' first child, and my mother went into, had false labor several times and, at one point, was sent home from the hospital because she wasn't really in full labor.
• 1:22
  Crista Cowan: My parents had gone to a football game at BYU's football stadium, cougar Stadium, and my mom went into labor again during the football game and my dad, thinking it was once again false labor, decided that she could wait till the end of the game before they needed to go to the hospital, and so the joke has always been that I was almost born in Cougar Stadium.
• 1:47
  Crista Cowan: Turns out, I wasn't actually born until seven o'clock the next morning.
• 1:52
  Crista Cowan: Well, november 1st day after Halloween, the joke in our family has always been rista was born on All Saints Day, but she's not much of a saint.
• 2:05
  Crista Cowan: Now we're not Catholic, so we don't typically celebrate All Saints Day, but it was a knowledge that Halloween, which has evolved from a lot of different cultural traditions into something very uniquely American, is also called All Hallows' Eve, and the reason is because in Catholic tradition, november 1st is All Saints' Day and November 2nd is All Souls' Day, and I was raised knowing that I was raised with that in, you know, kind of in my brain and in my purview.
• 2:41
  Crista Cowan: As I was growing up, though, my birthday often got conflated with Halloween just because of where it was.
• 2:46
  Crista Cowan: It's easy for a mom to throw a Halloween themed birthday party my ninth birthday party, in fact.
• 2:52
  Crista Cowan: We watched the Disney movie Watcher in the Woods, which still terrifies me to this day.
• 2:57
  Crista Cowan: Everybody came dressed up and then nine girls had a slumber party the night of Halloween into the morning of my birthday, and so that was always this connection.
• 3:12
  Crista Cowan: The year I turned 18, I was dating someone and he decided that for my birthday he would take me out the night before and we went to a play and we went to dinner.
• 3:24
  Crista Cowan: And then the next day he wanted to take me out for night before and we went to a play and we went to dinner.
• 3:25
  Crista Cowan: And then the next day he wanted to take me out for a picnic for my birthday and he took me to the cemetery, not just because I was interested in family history, but because that seemed like kind of a fun thing to do around Halloween time.
• 3:39
  Crista Cowan: And what we discovered when we went to the cemetery that day was that there had been some vandalism.
• 3:47
  Crista Cowan: And I remember this moment really clearly, thinking cemeteries are fun and spooky and connected to Halloween and therefore they must be connected to my birthday, and these were people who were supposed to be remembered in this space.
• 4:04
  Crista Cowan: That's not supposed to be about being spooky.
• 4:07
  Crista Cowan: It's maybe supposed to be about being revered, or maybe even a little bit sacred.
• 4:12
  Crista Cowan: And so we spent the rest of the afternoon of my birthday that year I turned 18, cleaning up the cemetery and gathering friends and talking to the people who ran the cemetery to see what we could do to help fix some of the tombstones that had been vandalized.
• 4:30
  Crista Cowan: And that set me on this path of viewing death very differently, because of how connected it seemed to my life, the beginning of my life.
• 4:41
  Crista Cowan: I had always been interested in family history.
• 4:45
  Crista Cowan: You've heard that story.
• 4:46
  Crista Cowan: If you go all the way back to episode one, you'll hear all about me with my dad and the first computer and trying to find my grandpa's, grandma Carrie.
• 4:56
  Crista Cowan: Family history has been a part of my experience my whole life, but now to have my birthday connected with this concept of death and remembrance of people, that was a point that just changed my perspective, and so, as my birthday has continued on the idea that this connection between life and death in my life deserved a little bit further investigation Now.
• 5:27
  Crista Cowan: I was raised in California.
• 5:28
  Crista Cowan: I went to an elementary school where there was a high population of Mexican students, both people who had lived there for generations as well as recent immigrants.
• 5:39
  Crista Cowan: A lot of them were Catholic and we celebrated different Mexican holidays throughout the year.
• 5:46
  Crista Cowan: When I was in grade school, we celebrated Cinco de Mayo.
• 5:49
  Crista Cowan: Every year we celebrated Día de los Muertos, and Día de los Muertos is the Mexican celebration of November 1st and November 2nd, november 2nd.
• 6:07
  Crista Cowan: So in the Catholic tradition it's All Saints Day and All Souls Day, but in Dia de los Muertos, the Days of the Dead.
• 6:10
  Crista Cowan: Those days have cultural significance as well as religious significance.
• 6:15
  Crista Cowan: But as a kid it was just my birthday.
• 6:20
  Crista Cowan: As a kid it was just connected to Halloween.
• 6:23
  Crista Cowan: As a kid it was just another reason to have yummy food and a party.
• 6:28
  Crista Cowan: That meant we got out of class for something, and so I hadn't connected those dots.
• 6:35
  Crista Cowan: But once I had that experience in the cemetery at 18, I started looking for those connections a little bit differently, connections a little bit differently as I got further and further involved in family history.
• 6:47
  Crista Cowan: One of the things that I have learned is that we connect with our ancestors on paper, in photos, in newspapers, on census records, in stories, on a pedigree chart.
• 7:02
  Crista Cowan: We make these discoveries and we make these connections, but for some of those ancestors there's some point where they almost become real.
• 7:12
  Crista Cowan: They become these people that are part of our lives, whether we ever actually knew them in life or not, and I don't understand how or why exactly that happens.
• 7:23
  Crista Cowan: I just have experienced it enough and seen others experience it enough to know that that's a very real thing, that there's almost this connection through to the other side.
• 7:35
  Crista Cowan: That happens and as I have learned that over years and years and years of experience, every time my birthday comes back around and Dia de los Muertos is brought kind of to my memory again, I've admired so much the cultural tradition of that.
• 7:57
  Crista Cowan: Now, the first time I really really got to dive into the cultural tradition of that you're going to laugh at me, but it was with the Disney Pixar movie, coco Pixar movie Coco that came out when I was, I think, in my 40s and Ancestry had the opportunity to partner with Pixar for the launch of this particular movie.
• 8:20
  Crista Cowan: Now what that means is we got to as a team do the family history research for all of the voiceover actors and the director and the producers of the movie and then, right before their big press junket to promote the movie, some members of our team got to go to LA and present those family histories to those actors and that director and those producers so that every time they went out to promote their movie that was very much about family history a reporter would inevitably ask well, what do you know about your family history?
• 9:01
  Crista Cowan: And because they had met with us, they could then respond oh well, what I learned is this about my family history from Ancestry.
• 9:10
  Crista Cowan: And so we had this partnership with them for the promotion of the movie.
• 9:15
  Crista Cowan: At one point, the little leaf hints on Ancestry that indicate that you have a hint or a record that you might want to look at that might be about this person in your family tree we turned those into marigolds for the promotion of the movie.
• 9:31
  Crista Cowan: We had a little landing page and little family tree experiences for kids.
• 9:37
  Crista Cowan: And then our whole team got to go to LA for a screening premiere screening of the movie and we sat in the back of the theater.
• 9:46
  Crista Cowan: They saved the back row for us and the whole rest of the theater was, you know, the Disney universe of stars, like all the influencers and the Mickey Mouse Club, because apparently there's still a Mickey Mouse Club this whole group of people who were there for this movie premiere and the second the credits started to roll, our team had to run out of the theater across LA Live up to the roof of a building where they had set up the after party for the premiere.
• 10:15
  Crista Cowan: We were stationed around the room on computers and as the people who had attended the movie premiere came into that space, they had the opportunity to come over and meet with us and have us help them start building a family tree.
• 10:31
  Crista Cowan: And several of the people that they invited to the premiere of that movie were people of Mexican heritage and as they came in and we started building family trees for them, as the room was decorated very much themed for the movie, as the room was decorated, very much themed for the movie, my understanding of Dia de los Muertos, having just watched that film, was expanded All of a sudden.
• 10:58
  Crista Cowan: It wasn't just about this celebration of the days of the dead.
• 11:03
  Crista Cowan: It was about very personal, very intimate connections with specific ancestors, people that you want to make sure that you remember, people whose stories you want to tell, people that you want to honor.
• 11:18
  Crista Cowan: And it seems silly, but through that film I finally, after being raised in California and being exposed to Dia de los Muertos most of my life being connected to it because of my birthday, I finally understood this whole concept of an ofrenda and what that space was for and what that time over those few days was for in their culture.
• 11:45
  Crista Cowan: And talking to people coming out of that film who had Mexican heritage, helping them build their family trees and connect with their ancestors, was just another marker in this interesting journey of this connection between my birthday and the other side.
• 12:05
  Crista Cowan: So having that experience when the movie Coco came out in 2017, was this interesting marker on this journey of understanding the connection between my birthday and the other side.
• 12:21
  Crista Cowan: Two years later, ancestry was producing a television show called Roots Less Traveled, and I was on the team that was helping to do family history research for that and then be kind of on-site producers for that.
• 12:36
  Crista Cowan: So I had the opportunity to participate in an episode about a brother and sister whose grandfather was from Mexico, and this brother and sister had actually not met until they were adults.
• 12:50
  Crista Cowan: They were half siblings and had not known the other existed and they went on this journey to learn more about their common grandfather and his experiences in Mexico.
• 13:02
  Crista Cowan: And it just so happens that the time we were filming was the week of my birthday in Mexico City and I got to go and be on set for that experience.
• 13:16
  Crista Cowan: Now, dia de los Muertos at an elementary school in California is one thing.
• 13:24
  Crista Cowan: Dia de los Muertos in Mexico City is a whole other level.
• 13:31
  Crista Cowan: We stayed in a hotel right on the parade route, so we knew that for days they were setting up this parade, and the fact that it took days to set up the parade told me it was going to be a very big deal.
• 13:44
  Crista Cowan: We were there for Halloween, and then we were there for my birthday, and on my birthday we had the opportunity, as a crew, with the talent that was with us, this brother and sister couple we went and had a woman invite us into her home and teach us how to do sugar skulls and how to set up the ofrenda, and they placed pictures of their family members on that ofrenda.
• 14:11
  Crista Cowan: We had the opportunity to learn about the significance of the marigolds.
• 14:16
  Crista Cowan: We had the opportunity to visit a cemetery, and just every step along that journey even though I was just part of the crew and and there to support ancestry and the storytelling that we were attempting to do, every part of that journey was so significant to me because of this connection with my birthday, and so, on my birthday then, as the parade went by for three and a half hours.
• 14:46
  Crista Cowan: I not only had the opportunity to participate in a little bit of this filming of this experience, but I was able to see the cultural expressions of all of the different ways that people from all over the country of Mexico, who converged on their capital, had to express their feelings about Dia de los Muertos.
• 15:09
  Crista Cowan: And watching those floats go by and talking to people in the crowd and seeing the music and just the life that connects with death was this powerful moment for me to understand how connected we really are and how, in their cultural tradition, they say that people die twice once when they actually physically die and once when their name is spoken for the last time, and this conscious effort that everyone in this culture makes to continue to speak those names.
• 15:51
  Crista Cowan: And I just remember walking back to my hotel after the parade and I got to my hotel room and I was going to stay an extra day after the crew and everybody left and I walked into my hotel and I cause I hadn't checked out yet I went into my room and there was the little um, the bread, and there was some chocolate milk and there was some fruit and they had been delivered by the hotel staff to everyone in the hotel to commemorate this holiday, that they celebrate this memorial that is such an intricate part of their both spiritual and cultural beliefs.
• 16:31
  Crista Cowan: And now, even though I am not Mexican and have zero Mexican heritage, I am connected to this because of this experience and because my birthday is on this day.
• 16:44
  Crista Cowan: Now, I hope nobody feels like I'm culturally appropriating anything, because I'm not and I don't create an ofrenda.
• 16:55
  Crista Cowan: I don't celebrate Dia de los Muertos on my own, but every year on my birthday.
• 17:02
  Crista Cowan: One of the things that I recognize is that, for whatever reason, a lot of cultures believe that the veil between life and death becomes very thin.
• 17:12
  Crista Cowan: And as I lean into my identity as a genealogist, as a family historian, as someone who so deeply wants to connect with my ancestors and help connect them with my family, I don't think it's any coincidence that I was born on November 1st.
• 17:33
  Crista Cowan: So, as we celebrate my birthday this week, I just hope that you find ways to lean into your own family connections, whether that is an ofrenda, because that is part of your cultural tradition, or whether that is a family tree on your wall, or whether that is photos in a photo album that you pull out, whether it is walking through a cemetery and cleaning up the tombstones of your family or those of others to honor them.
• 18:03
  Crista Cowan: I hope that you'll find ways to make those connections Because I firmly believe, much like many in the Mexican culture, that when we do make that connection then we do attempt to say their names out loud, to remember them more often that they are closer to us than we might think that they are.