Latest / MyMaine Birth / 170. MyMaine Birth: Jessica's first birth story, a homebirth with loving support from Sacopee Midwives

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170. MyMaine Birth: Jessica's first birth story, a homebirth with loving support from Sacopee Midwives · MyMaine Birth

0:00
Jessica: I had that appointment.
0:01
Jessica: And as I was walking out, I looked back over my shoulder and I went, Oh crap.
0:12
Jessica: And I could just feel it.
0:14
Jessica: And I was like, I gotta call Andrew.
0:16
Jessica: And so I sent him a text.
0:17
Jessica: I said, we gotta talk tonight when you get home from work.
0:20
Jessica: And he got home that night and I said, I I got terrible news.
0:24
Jessica: He goes, What?
0:25
Jessica: I go, I'm not going back in there.
0:27
Jessica: And I just I'm not.
0:29
Jessica: It's just, it's just not happening.
0:31
Jessica: Totally trusting the intuition.
0:33
Jessica: Again, that theme that keeps coming up, which has always served me really well, but served me really well in pregnancy.
0:40
Jessica: And he's like, Okay, does that mean home birth?
0:44
Jessica: And I had obviously done a little research, asked around and stuff like that.
0:48
Jessica: And I was like, yeah, I mean, it's either gonna be a free birth under a tree or a home birth with a midwife.
0:54
Jessica: And I feel like since we've never done this before, maybe we could hire someone and have it just be really non-invasive.
1:00
Jessica: And, you know, there's 300,000 women who are doing this on the planet at the same time that I'm doing this.
1:07
Jessica: And there are people that Eskimos that have babies on ice.
1:12
Jessica: And, you know, in third world countries, they're having them in dirt piles.
1:17
Jessica: And um, and then there, you know, so it it the more I thought about it, not even research, just thought about it and tuned in, looked inward, the more I realized that for me, a hospital birth felt like the least natural thing that could possibly happen.
1:36
Jessica: And of course, the caveat is that I was low risk and I knew I was low risk.
1:41
Jessica: So that's an important detail, I think, for people that are considering a home birth, is that you have to really know that you're in a good low-risk place, um, which I did.
1:50
Jessica: And then I also had my backup plan, which was if we're gonna need to go to Maine Med, then we are seven minutes with lights and sirens.
2:00
Jessica: Okay, I'm good with that.
2:01
Jessica: And so that's sort of um, that's sort of what be we became the plan.
2:07
Jessica: And um so once I knew I wasn't going back in, felt that intuition very strong during that moment, all throughout pregnancy.
2:17
Jessica: And so we ended up speaking with a midwife.
2:20
Jessica: Um, shout out to Socopee, they are an incredible group of women, and of course, I had heard of this like legend, and her name is Brenda, and she's just exactly what everybody talks about.
2:34
Jessica: She is absolute magic.
2:38
Jessica: And um, I remember being late to the appointment because we were kind of vague about it.
2:46
Jessica: We went skiing that day because you know, now I'm like 24 weeks, 25 weeks, somewhere, you know, along the lines there.
2:52
Jessica: Um so we're like, hi, yeah, it's so nice to meet you.
2:56
Jessica: We're on Zoom, and we're like, oh yeah, we were we were out of town today.
3:01
Jessica: And she's like, Oh, tell tell me about it.
3:03
Jessica: And I'm like, uh, I went skiing.
3:08
Jessica: And she's like, you could kind of see her get like a little, like, okay, I'm supposed to tell you this is a no-no.
3:16
Jessica: However, I was a ski instructor for years and I skied through my pregnancies, you know.
3:21
Jessica: So as soon as she said this, I was like, I love you.
3:24
Jessica: We're in, you're the best.
3:27
Jessica: Um, and you know, the rest was history.
3:30
Jessica: So she has a group of um a few women that work with her, probably up to about four or five, and they rotate.
3:38
Jessica: They always try to have two people at a birth in case it takes a while and they need to take shifts.
3:43
Jessica: But again, the second I met her, I just I knew that she would be present, um, along with another woman who works there, Danielle, who is a mutual friend of mine, now a really good friend of mine.
3:57
Jessica: Um, and she ended up being there too.
3:59
Jessica: And I just I knew that that's how how that was gonna work out.
4:03
Jessica: And when I called the hotline that night, it was Brenda who picked up.
4:08
Angela: I'm Angela, and I'm a certified birth photographer, experienced dual, childbirth educator, and your host here on the My Maine Birth podcast.
4:17
Angela: This is a space where we share the real life stories of families and their unique birth experiences in the beautiful state of Maine.
4:25
Angela: From our state's biggest hospitals to birth center births and home births, every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated.
4:34
Angela: Whether you're a seem-to-be mom, a seasoned mother, or simply interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you.
4:42
Angela: Welcome to episode 170 of my main birth.
4:47
Angela: As a reminder, I share all different types of stories that are submitted to me: hospital births, birth center births, all different types of home births, whether your story was positive, negative, or anything in between, this is a safe space for you to feel seen and heard.
5:02
Angela: And if you're pregnant or planning on becoming pregnant, I personally think it's so important to listen to a variety of different birth stories so that you can start to focus in on what pregnancy and birth path is right for you.
5:15
Angela: Because as I will continue to say, it doesn't look the same for everyone.
5:20
Angela: And women today are making a wide variety of choices when it comes to their pregnancy and births.
5:26
Angela: And ultimately, you are the authority in your birth experience, and the choices are up to you.
5:32
Angela: The only requirement for sharing a birth story here on the podcast is that at least one of your birth stories is a main birth story.
5:38
Angela: As an added bonus, all of my podcast guests receive a gift certificate for a family adventure photo session on the session day of your choice.
5:45
Angela: I host session days for my podcast guests at iconic locations across Maine throughout the spring, summer, and fall.
5:52
Angela: So if you're interested in joining the community of Maine Mom sharing birth stories here on the podcast, you can fill out the form over on my website, mymainbirth.com, or you can always message me over on Instagram at my mainbirth.
6:05
Angela: Our closing song is by Kate Sutherland.
6:07
Angela: Kate's community songs and deep nature connection work can be found over on her website, katesutherland.ca.
6:13
Angela: Today's birth story guest is Jessica, and she is here to share her first birth story, a beautiful home birth with loving support from Socopee Midwives.
6:24
Angela: All right.
6:24
Angela: Hi, Jessica.
6:25
Angela: Welcome to my main birth.
6:27
Angela: Hey, thank you so much.
6:30
Angela: I love that you do this for people.
6:32
Angela: Thanks.
6:33
Angela: I love listening to people's birth stories and talking about birth.
6:36
Angela: So would you share a little bit about you and your family?
6:42
Jessica: Absolutely.
6:43
Jessica: It's a love story.
6:44
Jessica: It has to start with a love story, and this will date itself years from now because I'm gonna use the word hinge.
6:52
Jessica: Andrew and I met on Hinge and we started dating in November 2023.
6:57
Jessica: So it was pretty recent.
6:59
Jessica: It was extremely calm and also fast-paced.
7:05
Jessica: We dated for about six months and we got pregnant.
7:10
Jessica: And that was when we were like, okay, what's what's the deal here?
7:15
Jessica: And so we knew it was very real.
7:18
Jessica: And so we decided that we were gonna buy a condo together and like just dive in, you know, with both feet.
7:27
Jessica: And then the night before the closing, we miscarried.
7:34
Jessica: And so the pace and the vibes and the intuition, this is all my style, very much my style.
7:40
Jessica: Um, and so we kind of looked at each other like, all right, we're still doing this, right?
7:46
Jessica: And then of course we did, and we had the closing, and so many people showed up to be there for us and help us through this like new love thing um that we had going on.
7:57
Jessica: And everybody that met Andrew was just like a yes.
8:02
Jessica: Like everyone, I just knew I was like, everyone's gonna love you.
8:05
Jessica: And and they did, and um, so many people showed up for us during that time because of course there's always this balance of like something tragic happening, but also something really wonderful happening.
8:17
Jessica: So tons of people showed up.
8:18
Jessica: We were just showered with love, and um, and then we decided that we were going to get married and have kids and all that.
8:27
Jessica: So that's sort of like the very short version of Andrew and I, the love of my life.
8:34
Jessica: And we did end up getting pregnant through I think like three months later, like like four-ish months later with Sonny.
8:46
Jessica: So now I guess the family story is that we have Andrew, myself, our 16-month-old Sonny, and a dog that is like going on 10 years old.
8:59
Angela: Amazing.
9:00
Angela: Wow, what an incredible story.
9:03
Angela: I know they really should all start with a love story, you know.
9:09
Jessica: I know it is a love story, it's an ongoing love story.
9:12
Jessica: Oh, that's incredible.
9:15
Jessica: That's a really special relationship, and I think choosing a partner to do life with is one thing, and then choosing a partner to have a baby or babies with is a totally different beast.
9:31
Jessica: And every day I wake up, I'm like, yes, I did the right thing.
9:37
Angela: Oh my gosh, I love it.
9:39
Angela: So how did you find out you were pregnant then for the second time?
9:44
Angela: And what were your thoughts in like choosing your care?
9:48
Jessica: So it's interesting.
9:49
Jessica: Both times, the miscarriage and then Sonny, I actually felt the sperm and egg attach, like while we were conceiving, and I said something to him, and he was like, Yeah, totally.
10:01
Jessica: He's really intuitive too.
10:02
Jessica: So I kind of already knew.
10:05
Jessica: And then you're gonna see a theme here of me being impatient.
10:09
Jessica: So before I even decided to take a pregnancy test, because I loved the idea of like there were a lot of hands-off things I I did throughout my pregnancy and birth, but then there were some things that I was like, well, if it's not hurting anything, like if I can just pee on a stick and it's not gonna hurt the fetus, like I should know this is fun.
10:30
Jessica: Um, so I was kind of looking for that dopamine hit.
10:33
Jessica: So I took a like a pretty traditional pregnancy test like days before I even missed my period.
10:39
Jessica: So I knew very, very early on.
10:42
Jessica: Um, and then of course it came up positive and I missed my period, and and that was that.
10:49
Jessica: So both times it was sperm and egg attach, knew ahead of time, kind of just double checked, you know, my gut feeling.
10:59
Jessica: Um, and then yeah, it was really exciting.
11:05
Angela: Wow, that is so exciting! What a cool experience.
11:09
Jessica: It was fun telling people, you know, just being like, I can't believe this is happening for us.
11:17
Angela: Yeah, it's such a blessing.
11:18
Angela: Yeah, and just being so in tune to be able to feel like that and to like sense that that's what's happening.
11:26
Angela: It's really cool.
11:27
Jessica: Totally, totally.
11:28
Jessica: And then I think your the second part of your question was asking about choosing care.
11:33
Jessica: So it's interesting.
11:37
Jessica: I decided to go to uh Mercy for a while, local hospital.
11:42
Jessica: And um I just kept sort of saying, like, I'll just do this for now, you know, this feels good.
11:49
Jessica: Um, I've never done this before.
11:52
Jessica: And so around the gestational diabetes appointment, I remember them giving me um, you know, the little drink.
12:02
Jessica: And you're just like, I did not want to drink this.
12:06
Jessica: Also, what's in it?
12:07
Jessica: I kept asking them, like, what's in it?
12:09
Jessica: And they basically weren't able to give me an ingredients list.
12:13
Jessica: And I thought that was interesting.
12:15
Jessica: So I was like, no, thank you.
12:17
Jessica: Is there anything else I can do?
12:19
Jessica: And so I took myself out to breakfast.
12:22
Jessica: And by the way, this was the first appointment that I was like, Andrew, it that you don't have to come to this.
12:27
Jessica: I'm just gonna take myself out to breakfast and get the test and drive home.
12:31
Jessica: And so basically, you had to have like a fourth cup of maple syrup, which by the way, is so much sugar.
12:39
Jessica: And so I'm driving to the appointment.
12:43
Jessica: I'm shaking, I'm like frazzled, and I walk in, I can barely give them my name and my date of birth.
12:51
Jessica: I like I should have called an Uber for this appointment.
12:54
Jessica: It was crazy.
12:55
Jessica: And the sugar in my body was just like crushing me.
13:00
Jessica: And so I had that appointment, and as I was walking out, I looked back over my shoulder and I went, Oh crap.
13:15
Jessica: And I could just feel it.
13:16
Jessica: And I was like, I gotta call Andrew.
13:19
Jessica: And so I sent him a text.
13:20
Jessica: I said, we gotta talk tonight when you get home from work.
13:23
Jessica: And he got home that night and I said, I I got terrible news.
13:27
Jessica: He goes, What?
13:28
Jessica: I go, I'm not going back in there.
13:30
Jessica: I'm I just I'm not.
13:32
Jessica: It's just, it's just not happening.
13:34
Jessica: Totally trusting the intuition.
13:36
Jessica: Again, that theme that keeps coming up, which has always served me really well, but served me really well in pregnancy.
13:43
Jessica: And he's like, Okay, does that mean home birth?
13:47
Jessica: And I had obviously done a little research, asked around and stuff like that.
13:50
Jessica: And I was like, Yeah, I mean, it's either gonna be a free birth under a tree or a home birth with a midwife.
13:57
Jessica: And I feel like since we've never done this before, maybe we could hire someone and have it just be really non-invasive.
14:03
Jessica: And, you know, there's 300,000 women who are doing this on the planet at the same time that I'm doing this.
14:10
Jessica: And there are people that Eskimos that have babies on ice.
14:15
Jessica: And, you know, in third world countries, they're having them in dirt piles.
14:20
Jessica: And um, and then there, you know, so it it the more I thought about it, not even research, just thought about it and tuned in, looked inward, the more I realized that for me, a hospital birth felt like the least natural thing that could possibly happen.
14:39
Jessica: And of course, the caveat is that I was low risk and I knew I was low risk.
14:44
Jessica: So that's an important detail, I think, for people that are considering a home birth is that you have to really know that you're in a good low-risk place, um, which I did.
14:53
Jessica: And then I also had my backup plan, which was if we're gonna need to go to Maine Med, then we are seven minutes with lights and sirens.
15:02
Jessica: Okay, I'm good with that.
15:04
Jessica: And so that's sort of um that's sort of what be we became the plan.
15:10
Jessica: And um, so once I knew I wasn't going back in, felt that intuition very strong during that moment, all throughout pregnancy.
15:20
Jessica: And so we ended up speaking with a midwife.
15:23
Jessica: Um, shout out to Socopee, they are an incredible group of women.
15:28
Jessica: And of course, I had heard of this like legend, and her name is Brenda, and she's just exactly what everybody talks about.
15:37
Jessica: She is absolute magic.
15:41
Jessica: And um, I remember being late to the appointment because and we were kind of vague about it.
15:49
Jessica: We went skiing that day because you know, now I'm like 24 weeks, 25 weeks, somewhere, you know, along the lines there.
15:55
Jessica: And so we're like, hi, yeah, it's so nice to meet you.
15:59
Jessica: We're on Zoom, and we're like, oh yeah, we were we were out of town today.
16:04
Jessica: And she's like, Oh, tell tell me about it.
16:06
Jessica: And I'm like, uh I went skiing.
16:10
Jessica: And she's like, you could kind of see her get like a little, like, okay, I'm supposed to tell you this is a no-no.
16:18
Jessica: However, I was a ski instructor for years and I skied through my pregnancies, you know.
16:24
Jessica: So as soon as she said this, I was like, I love you.
16:27
Jessica: We're in, you're the best.
16:30
Jessica: Um, and you know, the rest was history.
16:33
Jessica: So she has a group of um a few women that work with her, probably up to about four or five, and they rotate.
16:41
Jessica: They always try to have two people at a birth in case it takes a while and they need to take shifts.
16:46
Jessica: But again, the second I met her, I just I knew that she would be present, um, along with another woman who works there, Danielle, who is a mutual friend of mine now, a really good friend of mine.
17:00
Jessica: Um, and she ended up being there too.
17:02
Jessica: And I just I knew that that's how how that was gonna work out.
17:06
Jessica: And when I called the Hutline that night, it was Brenda who picked up.
17:10
Jessica: So I won't spoil it, yeah.
17:13
Angela: Oh my gosh, I love that.
17:15
Angela: So, how was like the rest of your pregnancy, like after you started care with them?
17:21
Jessica: Uh going and meeting with them was so wonderful and relaxing.
17:27
Jessica: Again, because I'm a curious person, it was nice to have a couple of ultrasounds and that kind of stuff, sort of like already, you know, in my back pocket, um, which gave me some peace of mind.
17:41
Jessica: But pregnancy for me was brutal.
17:45
Jessica: For like 20 weeks, I basically just slept and didn't get out of bed.
17:50
Jessica: And it took me about 20 weeks to realize that um morning sickness, and it can be tied to all kinds of different things.
17:58
Jessica: Interestingly enough, I didn't realize this until recently or learn it until recently, but a vitamin D deficient dad could contribute to it.
18:09
Jessica: It didn't surprise me that I had some issues just because I've always had like weird things like motion sickness in a car and stuff like that.
18:17
Jessica: I will say, the second I figured out protein, right when you wake up, I was off to the races.
18:25
Jessica: And the timing was perfect because it was around Thanksgiving.
18:27
Jessica: And I remember waking up Thanksgiving and going, let's go have a feast.
18:31
Jessica: But you know, that advice of go eat saltines and lay in bed all day, swap that out for a meat stick or a protein shake, and your body will respond with a thank you, thank you, thank you.
18:45
Jessica: So, but again, once I figured out the protein, off to the races and the rest was wonderful.
18:52
Jessica: I was able to do a ton of walking and um drank so much water.
18:57
Jessica: I would lay next to bed with my water bottle.
18:59
Jessica: I have drank room temp water my entire life.
19:03
Jessica: And the minute I got pregnant to the minute it was over, I needed to have ice in my water.
19:10
Jessica: And Andrew's like, I love the wind chimes.
19:14
Jessica: And because he could hear the wind chimes at night when I'm drinking my water next to bed.
19:19
Jessica: So um, all these weird, you know, bizarre things happen and then and then they go away, right?
19:26
Jessica: Um, so yeah, it was it was good.
19:28
Jessica: I I really honored it once I was able to actually enjoy a little bit of it and just honor my body and honor the experience.
19:37
Jessica: It was just, I approached it with so much wonder and excitement.
19:42
Jessica: Like, oh my gosh, this is happening.
19:45
Jessica: This is amazing.
19:46
Jessica: Like every day was was really amazing.
19:50
Angela: Yeah, oh, that's so good to hear.
19:52
Angela: And yeah, the protein in the beginning, if you're not feeling well, can really be a game changer.
19:58
Jessica: So good.
19:59
Jessica: So good.
20:00
Jessica: So simple.
20:02
Angela: So I have just another kind of side question to kind of go back farther.
20:06
Angela: Like, what were your views like on birth growing up?
20:10
Angela: And what stories had you maybe heard about birth that maybe led you to just be like, I'm either gonna have a free birth or a home birth with a midwife out, or like that hospital experience, or is there sort of things that maybe yeah, shaped that?
20:23
Jessica: Interesting.
20:24
Jessica: Oh, that's really interesting.
20:27
Jessica: I before I met Andrew, I wasn't even sure if I was going to have kids.
20:34
Jessica: So I guess my approach is that I was a little bit of an escapist and I've never done anything conventionally.
20:41
Jessica: I've never dressed conventionally.
20:44
Jessica: I'm always like pioneering and trying new things.
20:49
Jessica: Admittedly, I've had like some judgment around like the mainstream stuff.
20:55
Jessica: And I think before I make a decision, usually I'll just observe other people and then you know, I'll silently decide: does that work for me?
21:03
Jessica: Does that not work for me?
21:04
Jessica: I just um, yeah, I I think just who I am is I have an extremely unconventional way of thinking.
21:13
Jessica: And my sister and I, we had a fairly unconventional, rough upbringing, you know, everybody's got their their story and their childhood shit.
21:24
Jessica: And so I don't, I think I was kind of like of the mindset, I'm not gonna have kids or like I'm not gonna bring kids into the world unless I've got it really down.
21:32
Jessica: Um but I don't know.
21:36
Jessica: I just I think it's just like in within me, like I just knew that like I think it's very weird.
21:45
Jessica: I don't know how else to explain it.
21:46
Jessica: Like when I'm watching people with all this stuff hooked up to them and these outfits and the smells and the lights, and like I just remember walking into the hospital and being like, I don't know why people do this.
21:59
Jessica: Like people.
21:59
Jessica: People go to a hospital when they're really sick.
22:03
Jessica: And so I guess unless I'm sick, I probably shouldn't be here.
22:08
Jessica: So I don't know if that really answers your question, but it's maybe a little bit of a window into my thinking of just like it didn't make sense to me.
22:16
Angela: Yeah, I love that.
22:17
Angela: Just following your intuition, like born.
22:20
Angela: Yeah.
22:21
Angela: So good.
22:23
Jessica: Yeah.
22:23
Jessica: I just somehow knew that this would be this transformation, this sacred passage.
22:29
Jessica: And if I was going to go from maiden to mother, I wasn't going to be doing it in a hospital room.
22:38
Jessica: Like I want to be really comfy, you know.
22:41
Jessica: Um, and as a, you know, I always take this stuff with a grain of salt, but as a very stereotypical cancer, I love being home.
22:48
Jessica: And I love like the comfort of knowing that like my favorite sweatshirt is nearby or my whatever.
22:56
Jessica: And like, I don't know, the idea of packing a bag and and going to a place that's not comfortable where you're like rushed.
23:03
Jessica: And like I said, the lights are bright.
23:05
Jessica: It's it's not the ambiance I'm looking for.
23:08
Angela: So yeah.
23:10
Jessica: Yeah.
23:11
Angela: Cool.
23:11
Angela: That's awesome.
23:13
Angela: So yeah.
23:14
Angela: So how were things like towards the end of your pregnancy now?
23:18
Jessica: Oh my gosh, it was wild.
23:21
Jessica: Um, yeah, it it's oh my gosh.
23:26
Jessica: The the birth story is amazing.
23:28
Angela: So, how were you feeling in those weeks and then days leading up to like when your labor started?
23:34
Jessica: So excited, really in a groove.
23:37
Jessica: Like there is, we did take a birth class, which I highly recommend for anybody.
23:43
Jessica: Like it was interesting in the class.
23:45
Jessica: We went to birth roots, also, shout out to them because they were lovely.
23:48
Jessica: It was like a four-week thing.
23:50
Jessica: And part of it is, you know, you go once a week for four weeks, part of it's just making some really nice connections with other people.
23:59
Jessica: And we are still in touch with some folks from our birth class.
24:02
Jessica: So that was really cool.
24:03
Jessica: It 99% of the stuff that we talked about in there.
24:07
Jessica: Andrew and I had already sort of self-taught with research on a couple of podcasts.
24:11
Jessica: I don't like it when people overwhelm themselves with too much information, but it's sort of like it's almost like going to yoga, right?
24:19
Jessica: Like showing up as half the battle, and then take what you need.
24:24
Jessica: So um sort of leading up to it, we sort of knew the sign leading up to labor.
24:31
Jessica: We knew the signs to look for.
24:33
Jessica: But one of the things that our instructor at Birthroots shared with us, Shannon, she said it happens when you're really done.
24:45
Jessica: Like when you are done being pregnant, you have to mean it.
24:50
Jessica: And when you do, that's when you'll start to make that transition.
24:55
Jessica: And I remember the day I went into labor two days early from my estimated due date.
25:01
Jessica: I was done.
25:02
Jessica: And I remember going, oh, Shannon mentioned this, you know.
25:06
Jessica: I wonder if today's the day.
25:08
Jessica: Um, because I was just sick of carrying an extra 30 pounds on my frame and waddling and, you know, having a bit of heartburn.
25:20
Jessica: Um, and so I just remember being done.
25:25
Jessica: And so, so his estimated due date was May 1st.
25:30
Jessica: And um, do you mind if I go into the birth story?
25:32
Angela: Yeah, go for it.
25:33
Angela: I love this.
25:34
Angela: Like, yeah, and like the mind and body are definitely so connected, like totally.
25:39
Jessica: Yeah.
25:40
Jessica: How was your birth?
25:42
Jessica: All right.
25:43
Jessica: So on the 20 April 28th, I went to um the chiropractor at 11 a.m.
25:52
Jessica: My good friends over at Tree of Life Chiropractic in Portland, they specialize in prenatal pediatric nervous system.
25:59
Jessica: I was like, okay, I'm going to do this.
26:00
Jessica: The vibes have got to be right.
26:02
Jessica: I've got to be totally aligned.
26:03
Jessica: And these guys are incredible.
26:05
Jessica: So I went to the chiropractor that morning and they did some stuff around my belly.
26:10
Jessica: And they were really familiar with Sonny too, because they were always touching him and feeling him.
26:15
Jessica: And so um, when he came out on the other side to meet them, oh, it's just like really special.
26:20
Jessica: So then I went into acupuncture.
26:25
Jessica: It was like a just a self-care day.
26:28
Jessica: And she said, Well, baby girl, you are ready.
26:30
Jessica: Do you want to do an induction?
26:32
Jessica: And I'm like, what does that mean?
26:34
Jessica: You know, and really, you know, acupuncture is such a wonderful practice.
26:38
Jessica: She put um a couple of needles like inside of my left ankle, you know, just a couple, couple places.
26:44
Jessica: I think I did a short session, 30 minutes, just kind of laid on my side, all bolstered up in pillows and just relaxed.
26:51
Jessica: And, you know, and then I was on my way.
26:53
Jessica: And then I went home and I walked three and a half miles.
26:57
Jessica: Um, decided I absolutely needed a slab pizza from Makuchi's in Portland.
27:02
Jessica: So I jutted back to get that.
27:05
Jessica: And um, all day I was experiencing lightning crotch, which I had had multiple times, you know, throughout, but this was like a very consistent sort of lightning crotch.
27:19
Jessica: And I'm out doing my three and a half mile walk and my curb walking and trying to just move my body, keep everything nice and loose.
27:26
Jessica: And then I stopped by a neighbor's house on my way home.
27:30
Jessica: Um, she had an offering of a crocheted blanket, and she said, you know, I want you to have this.
27:36
Jessica: And um, and I remember sitting at her dining table, like, woo, woo, you know, like getting this lightning crotch.
27:42
Jessica: I'm like, oh, this happens all the time.
27:44
Jessica: Don't worry about it.
27:44
Jessica: And of course, hindsight's 2020, like that was part of my pre-labor.
27:49
Jessica: I was essentially in pre-labor for half the day and didn't know it.
27:53
Jessica: But again, because I hadn't done that before.
27:56
Jessica: And I love that I just went about my day.
28:02
Jessica: I love that I was out in the world and that I had this full day of phone calls with girlfriends and, you know, these like self-care appointments, and then I treated myself to a piece of pizza, right?
28:14
Jessica: Um, and so I remember when Andrew got home, he saw my phone on the counter, but I wasn't there.
28:20
Jessica: It was because I was over at the neighbor's getting this crocheted blanket, and he saw that I got a slab for him.
28:27
Jessica: And so he was like, Oh, I love pregnant Jesse.
28:31
Jessica: Um, and then so, you know, we just went about our evening and we got ready for bed per usual.
28:37
Jessica: We knew he was coming soon, but we just didn't know when.
28:39
Jessica: And so I was laying in bed, and I remember texting my sister, and um Socopee has the the midwives, they have mobile midwife app.
28:53
Jessica: And I started to, you know, I think all this stuff is just bogus, right?
28:58
Jessica: I'm like, yeah, yeah, whatever.
28:59
Jessica: I don't know, 411, 211, 891.
29:02
Jessica: What are these contraction things I'm supposed to count?
29:05
Jessica: Who knows?
29:05
Jessica: Who cares?
29:06
Jessica: Right.
29:06
Jessica: And so finally I'm like, oh, this is kind of fun.
29:08
Jessica: Let me just pop open the app and see.
29:11
Jessica: And so I start um sort of tracking, like start, stop, start, stop when these quote unquote Braxton hicks, these fake, you know, preparing you contractions.
29:24
Jessica: And so I'm texting my sister, and I'm like, oh my gosh, these are so cute.
29:29
Jessica: Like they are in such a nice little, you know, tie it up in a bow, like they're just so perfectly presenting themselves.
29:37
Jessica: And she's like, uh, do respect, sis.
29:40
Jessica: You're an idiot.
29:42
Jessica: Call the midwife, pretty sure you're in labor.
29:44
Jessica: And I'm like, no, these are adorable, blah, blah, blah.
29:47
Jessica: So this is like 10:30 at night.
29:48
Jessica: Andrew's sleeping next to me.
29:50
Jessica: My sister's like, if you don't call the midwife, I'm gonna lose my mind.
29:53
Jessica: You're about to have a free birth, it's fine.
29:55
Jessica: And I'm like, no, no, no, it's all good.
29:57
Jessica: And then I roll over and I feel what I was told I would feel by many.
30:04
Jessica: Um, the snap of a finger right inside of my belly.
30:08
Jessica: And it was like, oh my gosh, that's so cute.
30:10
Jessica: That's what everybody said would happen.
30:12
Jessica: And my water broke.
30:13
Jessica: And it wasn't this big dramatic, you know, like you see in the movies.
30:17
Jessica: It was like, okay, just a little bit pop up, go to the bathroom, check it out.
30:23
Jessica: Um, so now we're headed to like 1045, 11.
30:26
Jessica: And um then shortly after that, I got the bloody show, which is another thing that people talk about.
30:35
Jessica: And I gave Brenda or you know, the the midwife phone call, like or phone line.
30:42
Jessica: I gave them a call and Brenda picked up and I said, I think my water broke, and here's everything that's happening.
30:46
Jessica: And she said, This sounds gorgeous.
30:48
Jessica: You're right on track.
30:50
Jessica: Um, maybe try to get a little sleep or whatever and give me a shout back.
30:53
Jessica: I said, Great, you know, have a good night.
30:56
Jessica: I know they always happen in the middle of the night.
30:58
Jessica: Sorry, hopefully we can wait till morning.
31:00
Jessica: And so we hang up and I put my phone over on like a little side table and I try to get up off the toilet, and I literally cannot.
31:11
Jessica: I can't describe it.
31:12
Jessica: I just was like, get up.
31:14
Jessica: Okay, get back down, get up.
31:16
Jessica: Okay, we're gonna get back down.
31:18
Jessica: And, you know, I'm thinking, like, what the hell is going on?
31:24
Jessica: Like, this is getting real, and it's so much faster than any anybody else has experienced that I know or that I've heard of, right?
31:33
Jessica: Um, so basically within about 10 minutes of hanging up with Brenda, I called her back and I said, you know, I actually think you should come.
31:41
Jessica: And she's like, all right, let me pack up.
31:44
Jessica: I'll be out the door in about 15 minutes.
31:45
Jessica: I'll see you in a you know, half hour or whatever, 45 minutes.
31:48
Jessica: And so almost immediately I'm experiencing active labor contractions.
31:55
Jessica: And by the way, this condo we bought, which we no longer live in, um, 600 square feet, big open concept living room, and we have this birthing tub that we borrowed from a friend in the middle of the living room, taking up the whole thing.
32:13
Jessica: And I have string lights and all these affirmations that I was gonna weed from my girlfriends during, excuse me, during labor.
32:22
Jessica: It was gonna be this amazing transcendental experience.
32:28
Jessica: And I look up and I realize I have one knee on the wool area rug.
32:36
Jessica: I have the other knee on the hardwood floor, I am draped over my living room chair, I am burping up garlic from the slab pizza earlier.
32:48
Jessica: I am wearing a double XL North Deering tavern t-shirt, my cousin's restaurant.
32:54
Jessica: What the hell is going on?
32:57
Jessica: And this is labor, right?
33:00
Jessica: This is that that birth story gone sideways, right?
33:05
Jessica: And we think that we're so prepared and then we know.
33:09
Jessica: And then here I am on my hands and knees getting rug burns and uh floor burns.
33:15
Jessica: So Andrew's running around, he grabs like the puppy pads.
33:18
Jessica: We had, you know, like a um like a birthing kit, basically, um, that the midwives had us order ahead of time.
33:24
Jessica: And so he um started putting them underneath me.
33:28
Jessica: And I was like, I really need a pillow.
33:30
Jessica: Give me a pillow, I want to scream into a pillow, and he's like, perfect.
33:33
Jessica: So, in between these contractions, I would lay down sort of on my stomach, um, like in a crouched position, almost like a child's pose.
33:42
Jessica: And I would just hug this pillow and then I'd get back up.
33:45
Jessica: It was like doing mountain climbers for hours, hours.
33:51
Jessica: Um, so not as cute at this point.
33:54
Jessica: It was not as cute.
33:55
Jessica: This was not cute.
33:56
Jessica: There was no cutie tootsie, right?
33:59
Jessica: There's cutesy tootsies out the window, hair is in a bun.
34:03
Jessica: We are we are active.
34:05
Jessica: And, you know, at this point, it's me, Andrew, and the dog, right?
34:09
Jessica: So, you know, like I said, he's throwing things under my knees for extra cushion.
34:15
Jessica: And then I'm like falling into this sea of pillows, and I'm standing back up and I'm doing these mountain climbers.
34:20
Jessica: Brenda ended up arriving a little after midnight.
34:24
Jessica: And right when she opened the door, I said to her, and this is where I like the moment of like I was still very much me.
34:35
Jessica: She walked in and I told her I liked her outfit.
34:40
Jessica: And she's like, Thank you so much.
34:41
Jessica: I have two pairs, I wear them at births.
34:44
Jessica: I just rotate the two.
34:45
Jessica: It was like a, you know, like an overall kind of get up.
34:49
Jessica: And so then she's, you know, it's very fast-paced.
34:53
Jessica: I'm just sort of focusing on my my mountain climbers and contractions, basically.
34:58
Jessica: And so she looks over and she catches a glimpse.
35:01
Jessica: There was a little bit of blood on these pads underneath me.
35:05
Jessica: And she said, I don't, I don't like the color of that.
35:07
Jessica: It's too soon.
35:08
Jessica: You're you're already bearing down.
35:10
Jessica: And so why don't we try breathing softer through these contractions?
35:14
Jessica: And so, you know, I'm breathing in and I'm pushing down.
35:18
Jessica: And she said, Why don't you try to do the raspberries with your lips on the exhale?
35:23
Jessica: And I'm like, sounds good.
35:25
Jessica: And so that basically allows the cervix to soften and dilate fully.
35:30
Jessica: And so I just remember going, like I'm trying so hard.
35:36
Jessica: It's just a disaster.
35:37
Jessica: And I look over and they're starting to fill the pool, and I'm like, oh wow, okay, this is really picking up, you know.
35:44
Jessica: And then I see Andrew walk over to the pool.
35:49
Jessica: He sort of wades his hand in the water, and he looks up at Brenda, and they have a non-verbal conversation, and then they're getting every pot and pan that we have out, and they're putting it on the stove.
36:02
Jessica: And I go, Oh, we ran out of hot water.
36:05
Jessica: Good to know.
36:06
Jessica: We've never had to fill a pool this large before, uh, just off of the bathroom faucet.
36:12
Jessica: So, or you know, the the tub hose or whatever.
36:15
Jessica: And um, so I continue laboring, and I just remember this like animalistic.
36:23
Jessica: I'm still on this chair, right?
36:25
Jessica: I'm still kneeling and then getting back up and bearing down and trying to do these raspberries.
36:30
Jessica: I'm just doing what I'm supposed to be doing.
36:32
Jessica: And I remember holding onto the chair and looking up and going, we're not using that pool, are we?
36:38
Jessica: And then Brenda just very calmly says, No, we're not.
36:43
Jessica: And so I continue laboring.
36:45
Jessica: And um, Brenda and Dad are just stripping the bed.
36:49
Jessica: And um, I was led by Brenda into the bedroom.
36:54
Jessica: And um she said, if you want, you can reach down and feel his head.
36:59
Jessica: And I was like, What?
37:00
Jessica: His head is here?
37:02
Jessica: Like, I feel like I've only been doing this for a couple of hours.
37:05
Jessica: And something that was interesting for me, obviously, right, a home birth, a drug-free birth, I was lucid the entire time.
37:14
Jessica: So even, you know, a year and a half later, of course, you know, I don't remember it like it was yesterday because there's the hormones and things that that do that by design, right?
37:26
Jessica: The body's amazing.
37:27
Jessica: But I do remember being like totally there and basically talking the entire time, being really lucid.
37:34
Jessica: So they offered for me to lay down, and I said, absolutely not.
37:39
Jessica: I am an all-fors kind of person.
37:42
Jessica: I need to stay over this, not under this.
37:45
Jessica: My body just knew what to do.
37:48
Jessica: And, you know, another lesson there, right?
37:51
Jessica: Even in these moments with somebody offering you, somebody who knows more than you, who's done this a million times.
37:57
Jessica: She empowered me to trust my body.
38:00
Jessica: And I said, I just don't feel that I want to go that way.
38:04
Jessica: That's not comfortable.
38:05
Jessica: And she said, Okay, sounds great.
38:09
Jessica: So um, that was something I really liked about Brenda and and her ladies and um and the home birth scenario.
38:17
Jessica: So, anyway, now I'm standing up, I'm grabbing the back of the headboard, uh, shaking the bed like a wild animal.
38:23
Jessica: Um, I mean, the heels of my palms were bruised for two weeks after, you know, things you don't even feel in the moment.
38:30
Jessica: But again, doing that kind of standing to kneeling to squatting, rinse and repeat for I don't know, maybe half hour.
38:38
Jessica: Um, and people always say, you know, how long did you push?
38:41
Jessica: It was about 30 minutes.
38:42
Jessica: It wasn't long at all.
38:43
Jessica: And um, you know, like I said, no candles, no, no affirmation cards, you know, no video.
38:53
Jessica: Um, and Brenda just said, I see a head and he has hair.
38:59
Jessica: And dad's like, I guess the heartburn paid off.
39:01
Jessica: And I was like, Oh my God, this is so exciting.
39:05
Jessica: And so I remember just growling like a wild animal, and his head came out, and then she said, One more push, and he's here.
39:16
Jessica: And I said, Let's frigging do this.
39:18
Jessica: And I bared down like crazy.
39:21
Jessica: And you know, the head is interesting.
39:24
Jessica: It there was so much pressure, and then when the body came out after, it was such a relief.
39:30
Jessica: It it just it slid right out.
39:33
Jessica: And it's such an incredible.
39:35
Jessica: I don't know, it it's just so it's such a transformation and it's such a spiritual experience, and it's so freaking wild.
39:47
Jessica: And I still, after living through it, cannot believe that this is the process.
39:53
Jessica: Um, and then the relief and then the wave of hormones after, and you're just like, oh my God, this is the best.
40:01
Jessica: And you just like forget that, you know, your body just went through what it went through.
40:06
Jessica: And I remember still feeling, you know, all the pain.
40:09
Jessica: And um, they're like, Do you want to hold him?
40:11
Jessica: And I was like, Let me just let me roll over real quick and just make sure, you know, the cord and everything feel I want to make sure I'm in a good place because I know I've been upright for a while.
40:20
Jessica: And so I kind of laid down and bolstered myself on some pillows.
40:23
Jessica: And when they handed me the baby, I mean, I did, I looked at Brenda, I said, Does he have all of his toes?
40:29
Jessica: You know, we're like monkeys, we inspect.
40:32
Jessica: She goes, Yeah, he's just been in tight quarters for a while.
40:34
Jessica: So they're a little tucked, you know.
40:36
Jessica: And when they put him on my chest and I watched him start rooting, that wonder just came back all over again.
40:43
Jessica: I'm like, holy crap.
40:46
Jessica: Holy, and I'm just like, pretty sure I was just swearing and also like amazed and just oh, it was so powerful.
40:56
Jessica: It's seriously like the most beautiful moment I think that a mother can experience is meeting their baby for the first time.
41:08
Angela: Such a moment, like really, just so important to just take a second to take that moment in too and not feel like rushed to even move or change positions, or just to just like take a second, wherever you are, when that helps.
41:23
Jessica: Right.
41:23
Jessica: Letting um letting him lay on me and do the skin to skin to relax for over an hour.
41:35
Jessica: Um letting dad cut the cord, waiting for the blood.
41:41
Jessica: This was really important to me.
41:42
Jessica: Waiting for the blood to finish its transition, right?
41:48
Jessica: And um letting that cord go fully white and dead was really important to me because he's getting the last of those nutrients from my placenta.
42:00
Jessica: And I want that to happen naturally and not being rushed was really, really special.
42:06
Jessica: I did lose quite a bit of blood.
42:09
Jessica: I lost like a few cups or more.
42:11
Jessica: And so having somebody there felt really good.
42:16
Jessica: And if I were to do it again, I would probably use a midwife again because she had Pitocin on her.
42:22
Jessica: And at that point, when the baby was out and there were zero interventions, right?
42:28
Jessica: Other than a couple ultrasounds at the beginning, I was like, hit me with whatever you want.
42:32
Jessica: I don't care what the hell you do now.
42:34
Jessica: And so she did hit me with a little pitocin uh to help that cervix sort of, you know, contract and and uh slow the bleeding down.
42:43
Jessica: And then I just did an iron supplement for a while and I just laid really low and I let people cater to me and love on me, and it healed on its own.
42:51
Jessica: You know, it wasn't this big dramatic, we have to go to the ER kind of event.
42:55
Jessica: You've lost blood.
42:57
Jessica: This happens in birth.
42:58
Jessica: Let's hit you with pitocin.
43:00
Jessica: We don't want this to get any worse.
43:02
Jessica: Um, and then rest and hydrate and take iron and um and you'll be fine in a few weeks.
43:08
Angela: And I was staying in your own head and eat your own food.
43:14
Jessica: Dude, they were like little fairies after I just was watching everybody out, like you know, ferrying around, just making coffees and uh watching the sun come up and having my sister come over and uh my girlfriends, and then like for the days after we we got rid of that tub as soon as possible because it never got used.
43:37
Jessica: But I put a little uh Moses basket and I laid him when he wasn't with me, of course, um, or dad, or you know, whoever, I would just lay him in this Moses basket in the middle of the room and we had the couch and the chairs, and he just like was just surrounded by visitors and then.
43:59
Jessica: Somebody would go over and pick him up and hold him for a while and then they'd go put him back.
44:03
Jessica: And oh, it was so sacred.
44:07
Jessica: This is the first time I've told this story.
44:12
Jessica: So getting to relive it is really sweet.
44:16
Jessica: So thank you for letting me relive it.
44:21
Angela: Yes.
44:22
Angela: Oh my gosh, I love it.
44:23
Angela: Yeah, it's really, it's like you don't really go into the full like telling of the whole story that often.
44:31
Jessica: Yeah.
44:32
Jessica: Yeah, you really don't.
44:34
Jessica: I I really haven't yet.
44:35
Jessica: I mean, we wrote it down so that we didn't forget some of the details.
44:40
Angela: Yeah, when you're telling it, it really does bring up all of the emotions, you know, that you felt like in that moment.
44:45
Angela: Just so special.
44:48
Jessica: The best.
44:49
Jessica: Yeah.
44:51
Jessica: And it's also hard, you know, it's humbling.
44:55
Jessica: And, you know, my stuff, my childhood shit, like I talked about, my I don't know, there's all kinds of stuff that comes up during pregnancy.
45:06
Jessica: There's, you know, the what ifs and the thoughts and the fears, and all of that's normal too.
45:12
Jessica: So it wasn't really all good, you know, it wasn't all rainbows and butterflies.
45:16
Jessica: Um, but I remember asking Brenda, like, how did this happen for my first baby?
45:23
Jessica: My my labor and delivery was four hours essentially, start to finish.
45:27
Jessica: My water broke at 10:30 at night, and he was here at his head came out at 222, and his body came out at 223.
45:33
Jessica: I'm like, what?
45:35
Jessica: Like, how does that happen?
45:37
Jessica: And she said, often we birth how we live, and you live fast.
45:42
Jessica: I was like, perfect.
45:45
Jessica: I forgot to mention Danielle, the other midwife.
45:47
Jessica: She showed up basically as his head was emerging.
45:51
Jessica: Um, she said she was driving very fast to get there on time because she needed to meet, you know, Sonny.
45:58
Jessica: And I asked her, Did you, did you ever hear my like screaming?
46:02
Jessica: And she goes, Oh yeah, I heard it from the parking lot.
46:05
Jessica: And like I told you, we lived in a condo building.
46:07
Jessica: We had neighbors above, you know, to the side, across the hall.
46:10
Jessica: And nobody heard it.
46:12
Jessica: One was on vacation, the other one was sleeping, the other one we didn't share a bedroom wall.
46:17
Jessica: And so, you know, we had signs on the door, like labor, you know, in progress so that people didn't freak out when they heard screaming.
46:25
Jessica: And the only one that heard the screaming was Danielle.
46:27
Jessica: She was running in to try to get there.
46:29
Jessica: So she said she could tell by the sound, right?
46:32
Jessica: How primal that he was either arriving or like about to arrive.
46:38
Angela: Like run in.
46:40
Jessica: Yes, like get there as fast as possible.
46:42
Jessica: Yeah.
46:43
Angela: Yeah.
46:43
Angela: Oh, wow.
46:45
Jessica: Yeah.
46:46
Angela: That's cool.
46:48
Jessica: Totally.
46:50
Angela: So, how was the rest of your like kind of postpartum time and those kind of like weeks that followed?
46:55
Angela: How's nursing?
46:57
Jessica: Uh, nursing was so hard.
47:00
Jessica: I would have like a friend, like one of my best guy friends, Steve.
47:05
Jessica: He came over one day to visit, and I was just in my bedroom with like three women helping me for 45 minutes, and then I came back out and he was gone.
47:14
Jessica: I was like, well, I'll have to catch him next time.
47:16
Jessica: At least he had some baked goods that somebody else brought, you know, from before, uh, from a prior visit.
47:22
Jessica: Um, so it's it is extremely humbling.
47:28
Jessica: And I think it's really important for people to know that this is a sacred passage, right?
47:37
Jessica: And it is amazing pretty much immediately after the baby arrives, and then it's amazing for a while after, but your hormones do plummet.
47:53
Jessica: And I think it's really important for folks to prepare for that part after.
47:59
Jessica: There's a lot of change.
48:02
Jessica: There's a lot of change to your body, right?
48:04
Jessica: Mind, body, spirit.
48:06
Jessica: But there's also a lot of grief.
48:08
Jessica: Like I remember I actually was out on a walk.
48:12
Jessica: Like I said, I did a lot of walking before I gave birth to Sonny.
48:16
Jessica: And I remember grieving him for the first time.
48:19
Jessica: And I made sure I journaled a lot during this time because it's a really, really special time.
48:23
Jessica: But also it's it's a time where you want to make sure you're getting stuff out.
48:26
Jessica: And I remember thinking, like, oh my gosh, this is the first time I'm grieving you because you're gonna leave my body soon.
48:33
Jessica: And then you're gonna be out in the world.
48:35
Jessica: Um and then when he was out in the world, there was like, you know, this phase will change, you know, and now it's just we're off to the races.
48:45
Jessica: It's just tons of change, right?
48:47
Jessica: That's the constant.
48:48
Jessica: Um but the hormones do plummet.
48:51
Jessica: And I think the humbling part is that uh in all of uh my past experiences in life, I was always able to gauge growth and you know, sort of like a trackable, very business-y, right?
49:10
Jessica: Like a very business approach.
49:12
Jessica: And in this one, you don't track it or gauge it like you would a goal.
49:17
Jessica: It's like actually quite the opposite.
49:19
Jessica: It's just like a full, full surrender.
49:22
Jessica: And that in itself is the lesson and the growth.
49:28
Jessica: At least that was for me.
49:29
Jessica: Um, so the full surrender.
49:31
Jessica: And like it's interesting because you're doing something you've never done before, but you're giving yourself grace.
49:38
Jessica: And um I think there's only one one postpartum thing I would change.
49:45
Jessica: I pretty much immediately started vacuuming, like out of old habit, like two days later, maybe not even like the next day.
49:54
Jessica: And um if I could go back, I wouldn't have done that.
49:58
Jessica: Every like it was like old old habits die hard.
50:02
Jessica: Everything else, I was able to sort of like lean in and let people feed me and love on me and uh bring me stuff and get me stuff, you know.
50:11
Jessica: Um but yeah, I think the I think I was still in quite a bit of like an adrenaline rush too.
50:20
Jessica: Um so uh uh but otherwise I I would say for a first timer I did pretty good.
50:26
Jessica: So you know, getting back to that humbling piece, like changing your mindset, because also there's that primal thing where you like when people talk about being brain dead, it's true your brain physically shrinks to do what it needs to do, which is keep this baby alive.
50:43
Jessica: And so not measuring your success by anything else, other than I just did this incredible thing.
50:51
Jessica: I kept a baby alive, should be enough, you know.
50:54
Jessica: And it's not about dishes being done or your hair looking nice, you know.
50:58
Jessica: It's the one time, like for me, it was the first time I smelled my own body odor in years.
51:05
Jessica: It's like, oh, cool.
51:06
Jessica: I have body odor because I didn't have perfumes and deodorant.
51:09
Jessica: And then I got to lean into being so tired and so silly, like, hey babe, I can't find my phone.
51:18
Jessica: And then he's like, honey, I just found your phone in the fridge.
51:22
Jessica: You know, oh my gosh.
51:26
Jessica: Or you butt dialed your friend while you were crying about you know the the breastfeeding um 15 minutes before you even noticed, or you know, whatever.
51:36
Jessica: So you just you get to be held and supported and let people in, eat a lot, relax, ask for foot rubs.
51:43
Jessica: Man, breastfeeding.
51:45
Jessica: We talked about hiring a consultant and we just never got to it.
51:51
Jessica: Breastfeeding is so hard.
51:54
Jessica: It's so hard.
51:57
Jessica: I I'm really glad I stuck to it.
52:00
Jessica: I was able to give Sonny breast milk.
52:03
Jessica: I also pumped.
52:04
Jessica: I was able to give him breast milk until he was almost a year, and that was my goal.
52:09
Jessica: And my body waved the white flag when it was time.
52:12
Jessica: Basically, there wasn't even a transition.
52:14
Jessica: I didn't even have to like hand express or anything.
52:17
Jessica: I just stopped and my body was like, you're good.
52:21
Jessica: Thanks.
52:23
Jessica: Yeah, I went a little off topic there, but no, that's great.
52:27
Angela: And then it really does, I really like the point that you brought up about like this surrendering, even just not just throughout birth.
52:33
Angela: Of course, like it's required throughout birth, but in the postpartum time too, like it's really a big deal surrender to just all of the things like the messy house or like not being not vacuuming, please.
52:47
Angela: If anybody's listening, don't vacuum one or two.
52:49
Angela: Right, right.
52:50
Jessica: Don't vacuum.
52:51
Angela: Yeah, and just uh like up.
52:53
Angela: It's I can smell myself and like that's fine.
52:56
Angela: Totally just embrace it, you know, for like that time because it it's just such a short period of time before you you are up and back to the new bubble.
53:07
Jessica: Yeah, yeah.
53:09
Angela: It's um uh I keep saying it's sacred, but it really is, it really is rest.
53:18
Jessica: Ugh feels so good.
53:19
Jessica: Feels so good, and then you just get to like you know, you get to love on this little baby, and you get to know your baby, you know.
53:32
Angela: Yeah, it's so big, so big, such a special time.
53:36
Angela: So wow.
53:41
Angela: As a final question though, if you were to give advice to someone who's expecting or even new parents, like what is like one or some of the biggest things that you'd want to share?
53:54
Jessica: Definitely not one thing.
53:56
Jessica: You're like one or some.
53:58
Jessica: I I can tell where this is going.
54:00
Jessica: Um I've already said one of the things, your stuff, quote unquote stuff, it will come up somehow.
54:09
Jessica: The timing is not coincidence.
54:11
Jessica: You have to welcome it and nurture it.
54:14
Jessica: So it's gonna be a fear or you know, a shortcoming or something from your childhood or a relationship that needs to be sorted out.
54:23
Jessica: And so I'll let folks you know fill in their own blanks there.
54:29
Jessica: But like my advice is like say yes, say no.
54:33
Jessica: Um, ask for and accept help, lose the expectations.
54:40
Jessica: I wrote a birth plan, but in parentheses I put intentions because if you know, if you know you're going to deviate and you just call it intentions, that that worked well for me.
54:52
Jessica: But training myself to go with the flow were skills that served me best because once I was able to lose the expectations and just know like I know myself and I know I'm in a pod that I've created, right, with these midwives and my husband.
55:15
Jessica: That I know that I'm like safe and held within that pod.
55:21
Jessica: Like, I don't, there's only so much thinking I need to do.
55:25
Jessica: I feel like I did a lot of prep for game day.
55:27
Jessica: And then when game day was here, it was just sort of like do whatever you want.
55:30
Jessica: Because I I was in a space where I trusted that people weren't gonna like push things on me or do things that I didn't ask for.
55:35
Jessica: So I'll leave I'll leave people with this.
55:38
Jessica: You don't need to learn how to push your baby outslash give birth.
55:46
Jessica: Your body already knows.
55:49
Jessica: And how could anyone know better than you?
55:53
Jessica: Because you've held this baby in your womb and you've carried them and loved them and gotten to know them for months already.
56:04
Jessica: So definitely trust yourself and your body and your spirituality, whatever that may be.
56:11
Jessica: Um, and it will serve you well.
56:16
Angela: Yes, I agree so much with that.
56:19
Angela: Just trust your inner knowing, you know, like for like that, just can look so different for everybody, you know.
56:27
Angela: You could be planning a home birth and then be like, just have this gut feeling of like, no, actually, I need to be in the hospital, you know, like whatever it is for you, just like listen to it.
56:39
Jessica: Not being afraid to do that pivot, just like you, just like you said, like you could start at hospital or go to home birth, or you could be planning a free birth, and then maybe you call a doula, or maybe you're doing home birth and you decide the hospital is better for you.
56:52
Jessica: I think if everybody did what was best for them and empowered themselves, like it, yeah, it would be really, it would be really nice to see women feeling good about the choices that they made.
57:07
Angela: There might be a little less birth trauma.
57:10
Jessica: Exactly.
57:11
Jessica: And then also recognizing that like it is a trauma, right?
57:16
Jessica: So like it is a physical trauma to the body.
57:20
Jessica: Like there's this massive thing that's coming down a birth birth canal and coming out of your body, you're like, woo, like, you know, trauma to the body.
57:28
Jessica: And then you talk about it for days after, like it was a car accident.
57:32
Jessica: You're like, oh my God, do you remember that time?
57:34
Jessica: Do you remember that moment?
57:35
Jessica: You know?
57:36
Jessica: Um, but it's a good trauma.
57:37
Jessica: And then you know, being able to differentiate the two.
57:42
Jessica: And and then again, that that postpartum care, you know, saying yes to help and letting people bring you food and love on you and give you a chiropractic adjustment or a massage or something.
57:55
Jessica: But it like Yeah, I I got so lucky.
58:02
Jessica: I feel I mean, I I prepared, right?
58:04
Jessica: So I prepared.
58:05
Jessica: Um, and I'd be happy, by the way, if anybody listens to this and they want to find me and reach out and ask for advice, I would be delighted to share.
58:13
Jessica: Because now that I've lived it, I feel like I could give advice, um, especially if folks are looking to do something a little more unconventional.
58:23
Angela: Awesome.
58:24
Angela: Happy to get a hold of you.
58:25
Jessica: Yeah, I'd be I'd be happy to.
58:27
Jessica: Um, I'm on Instagram as I'm looking at my handle right now.
58:32
Jessica: So it's Jessica Hegel, H E A G L E.
58:38
Jessica: And um they're welcome to email me as well.
58:42
Jessica: Um, R-E-A-G Jessica at Gmail is my personal email.
58:48
Jessica: So yeah, I'd I'd love to offer any support for for women who are doing this.
58:54
Jessica: Because I feel like my story is really good and positive in a in a time that's not, you know, it's not always positive for people like you said.
59:04
Angela: So yeah, absolutely.
59:06
Angela: Well, I will link your info in the show notes too for anybody that wants to connect that might have just missed that.
59:11
Angela: You can check out the show notes.
59:12
Angela: And yeah, thank you so much, Jessica, for taking the time to chat with me and share your story.
59:17
Angela: It's beautiful and such an honor to listen.
59:20
Jessica: Yeah, thank you, Angela.
59:27
Kate Sutherland: Hello, the walk of the wild ones into the woods and the darkness.
59:32
Kate Sutherland: We both away, so the ancient ones who transfer one the way it's two ones now to open up and take the head up to the next thing.