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If you were a fish, How big would you be? · insyed; cozy psychology

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  I'm outside right now, but I want to tell you
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  about our sponsor, me. All the research, writing,
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  and reflecting, I do all on my own. So if you
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  find value in what I do and want me to create
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  more, the best way you can support me is to tell
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  a friend. Or if you want to support me directly,
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  you can buy me a coffee at buymeacoffee.com
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  buymeacoffee.com/syednote. You can find my videos
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  on YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram. My full essays
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  on LinkedIn, Substack, and Medium. And if you
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  like podcasts, you can find podcast versions
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  of all my videos on Spotify, on Apple Music,
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  and everywhere else you listen. It really means
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  a lot to me that you're here and I hope you take
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  care. Hello. Imagine a fish in a pond. If you
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  were that fish, how big would you be? How big
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  would the pond be? How you answer these questions
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  may actually reveal how much you believe in yourself.
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  If you've ever felt dumb in class, this might
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  be what you need to hear. It's something called
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  the big fish, little pond effect. And it says
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  that our confidence isn't just up to us, but
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  to the people we compare ourselves to. Sometimes
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  we may feel small, not because we are, but because
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  of the people we're standing next to. Research
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  shows that when we compare ourselves to high
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  achievers or a really big classroom, our academic
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  self -concept actually goes down. We start feeling
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  like a really small fish in a really big pond.
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  And if we choose to carefully pick out who we
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  compare ourselves to, we not only get to make
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  our pond smaller, but we can actually find people
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  that'll motivate us to try and be better. Now,
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  as I do my masters, I sometimes feel lost because
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  my classmates ask so many interesting, insightful
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  questions. I beat myself up because I don't know
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  what they're talking about. But now, now that
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  I've learned of the big fish, little pond effect,
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  I see them not as competition, but instead as
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  inspiration. I've learned to swim with the water
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  and not against it. And now that I have, it's
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  brought me places I couldn't even imagine. Normally,
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  the big fish, little pond effect is used in an
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  educational context. It's used for academics.
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  But I believe it goes beyond grades. It's about
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  how we compare ourselves to others. It's about
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  how we even see ourselves. And if we choose to
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  compare ourselves wisely, we might even end up
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  pushing ourselves forward and not pulling ourselves
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  down. So today, I'd like to invite you to find
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  someone to look up to. It could be someone in
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  class. It could be your coursemate. It could
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  be your roommate. You could even be your best
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  friend. Find someone who inspires you. Do this,
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  and I promise you, someday, you'll be the person
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  that someone will look up to. And with that,
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  I hope we take care. Until we see each other
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  again, goodbye.