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Transcript

Whackhead Prank: A dating disaster gone wrong · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Stop, stop what you're doing.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: Here is another world famous frank car from Darren Wackhead,
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: something ex exclusive to KFM mornings.
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: So yeah, all I hear from friends that are in
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: the dating scene. Oh the red flags. Oh this is
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: a red flag. There's a green flag, there's a beige flag.
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: I don't know what all these flags are. Do you
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: know what is a beige flag?
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: I don't know what a beige flag is.
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: So I'm assuming a green flag means that's good. Red
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: is bad.
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, beige seems boring to me, indifferent almost.
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: Actually I think that that that might be right. Let
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: me just google here. What is a beije flag.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: That makes sense? Yeah?
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: Boring? So what would boring be? Just no depth in conversation.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: No mutual sorry, no mutual interesting.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: So, beige flag describes a personal quirk or habit that
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: isn't inherently good or bad.
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: It's just met Oh you just have you're going to
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: bring no excitements. Okay, well so so this this, these
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: are these are two ladies. So her friend is single,
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: her and she knows how hard it is out there
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: because the it's always one date and no, you know,
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: there's never a second date. So you know, as as
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: you say, what starts to happen is you you feel
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: for your friend, you hear their tragedy, and then you go, yeah,
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: I'm going to find someone for you. I had that
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: once upon a time, and I met this person. I
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: was like, is that what my friends think of me?
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: Is that what you think? It's going to be good
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: for me? You know?
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: Hey, this is why people have stopped trying.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: Derek, Can I ask you a question? Yes, what were
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: the green flags when you met your wife?
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: Beautiful? Yeah, that's got to be a guys that we
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: are that is our first flag. Uh, beautiful. My wife's hilarious,
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: she really is. And she's just sweet and genuine and honest,
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: you know, because she's all but she's beautiful. She didn't
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: have to have all that other stuff.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: But you can't count to ten.
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because prove me wrong. Prove me wrong, You're not wrong.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: It has to be attraction, of course.
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Okay, so she says this. Listen, she tells her friend, Hey,
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: I've got the perfect af you, I've got the perfect
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: off you. I'm gonna can I give him your number? Yes? Okay,
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: this is his name. He's going to call you. She's like, oh, okay,
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: this is a friend recommendation. There could be something here.
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: So she's set that up for me. And now I'm
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: going to I'm the friend obviously, so I'm going to
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: make this a bad situation as possible. And what I've
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: learned in the dating world is that you know, it
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: gets you know, I've heard about pictures sending Okay, so
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: it gets quite like dirty early all right, Yes.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: You can get a lot of unsolicited stuff.
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yes, okay, So that's what we've got. Let's
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: let's what happens. You know, this isn't going to be good.
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: Do you ever like suggests like say, hey, there's a
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: guy my work that I think you would luck? Do
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: you ever do that sort of thing? I have suggested
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: a couple I even suggested a couple of friends. Hello, Hello,
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: I'm looking for Madeline. Please seeking how Madeline's Stephen Finer?
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: Here?
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: Hi Stephen?
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: How you do I'm fun? Thanks to you. I'm good.
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: Thank you. So you don't have a problem with me
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: calling Feth It's nice. Okay, that's cool. I love that.
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: So what do you like to do? Like crazy things?
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: Things with a rush, like roller coasters and stuff like that. Now,
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: what's your interests things? Don't tell me you want to
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: talk about kinky stuff because I'm gonna change in your.
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: Mood in.
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you aren't in a relationships now you're not.
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: I'm just getting out of a relationship getting out, meaning
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: you're still in one getting out or yeah, I'm already
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: out of it. I'm still in one. But okay, I'm
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: going to break up with her now. But you haven't
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: told me how long you guys have been together. It
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: is just under three years.
• 5:42
  Speaker 4: Just under three years, three years.
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: I must say, you've got a very thick the voice.
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: Thank you.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: Heart, Okay, thank you?
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah that That's all I can say is hot, hot,
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: hot like Tabasco sauce. So you know what I'll call you.
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: I'd call you Tobasco sauce.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: You're gonna call me Tabasco sauce.
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: I'll throw you with a bottle of Tabasco sal Yeah.
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: Because I think I found somebody near and it's then
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: her name is Tabasco sauce. Okay, hashtag awkward. So do
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: we go to tomorrow night? Actually, just then tomorrow. One
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: of my friends just coming over from Joe Burgh. Let's
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: go out on a date. And just just one other thing,
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: could you maybe pick me up?
• 6:56
  Speaker 4: Okay, so let me give you a lesson here.
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: Don't call me and tell me you want to talk
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: about kinky and second of all, don't tell.
• 7:03
  Speaker 4: Me you want to take me out on a date
• 7:05
  Speaker 4: and then't tell me I must come to pick you up.
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: Okay, I my momuck borrow.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: Hey, my battery is about today.
• 7:14
  Speaker 4: Okay, I have to turn I name my roommate just
• 7:17
  Speaker 4: walked in, okay.
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: By okay, Hey bye, I love you?
• 7:23
  Speaker 4: Whoa hellow Hi? I serve a minor need.
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: I say I sent a three or fourday and I
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: kinda say mighty for non laws. Wait what yeh? Move
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: my money moved? My crazy woman?
• 7:44
  Speaker 4: I can I can the woman drive for my essay?
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: I'm a moment. I need car me and my buy
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: no mis tabasco saws.
• 7:53
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I because it's just Tabasco sauce.
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: Just try come on please me one day. Maybe it's
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: the one yes that told me.
• 8:06
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna tell him to call it.
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: I mean, you can sort out everything and you can
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: go on. And I'm already gonna tell me my I
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: can I no clock a bro get my nod yo.
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: I haven't kinky dinner.
• 8:24
  Speaker 4: From I start, I wi my dad and taking me
• 8:28
  Speaker 4: up intaveratising said, my worst slops your small.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: So and I and I asked, but.
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: What call you back? Okay?
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: Why?
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: By h hello? Good news? I broke up with my
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: with my girl.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: Okay?
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: And how did it go?
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: Look? If you don't believe me, I'll tell her again
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: in front of you. Just hold on, just hold on,
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: Can you hold on for one second? Please? Okay, Olga,
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: I'm telling you again. Now it's over. I'm breaking up
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: with you right here, right now, it's done. I found
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: a new girl. Her name is Tabasco Thaws and Steela's
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: the kinky stuff. Okay, I have clothes he now, okay,
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: you've just broken up with the while you're on the
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: phone with me.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: Thus whole thing is why do you think that it's fren?
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: My point, that's freak, it's weird.
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: There must be something wrong with this old picture. What
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: is you told me to break up with before we
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: can go out with you? The lawns. I'm being a gentleman.
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: Tabasco sauce, please, Tabasco sauce.
• 10:18
  Speaker 4: I don't.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: Like this so nice with your eyes.
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: I've broaken up with my girl. Now now you have
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: to go out with me.
• 10:30
  Speaker 4: I can listen.
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: But you told me to break up with her.
• 10:35
  Speaker 4: Well, that's your story.
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: I haven't given them crying.
• 10:45
  Speaker 4: No, are you serious?
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: That's been working for me. May I'm breaking up with
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: you right now.
• 10:55
  Speaker 4: You're breaking up with me. Then you just scored ten points.
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: Yes you know what. I've broken up with two people
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: in ten minutes.
• 11:04
  Speaker 4: Well done. You're very good. Though you didn't find that weird.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: You must be like sicking wacked Simpson or somebody.
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: Okay, okay, maybe it is actually wicked Simpson.
• 11:24
  Speaker 4: I could.
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: Thank me.
• 11:33
  Speaker 4: I think, okay, this is so weird.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: I'm actually talking to wacked.
• 11:41
  Speaker 4: Oy Wacked.
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: I want to honestly say, please bleep all the words.
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: She sounds so sweet.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: She deserves a good a good man, but.
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: I sounded like ill of a catch. Don't come on,
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: be honest, exhausting miss. You have to get Olga back on.
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: It's Molly Sarrus racking ball. Lots of messages here from
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: the prank this morning. One guy Cameron. He says, shame Darren,
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: that lady sounds so sweet. I will take her out
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: for dinner, even just to chat about how she felt
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: after the prank. She did sound nice though, Yeah for
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: a friendship, Yeah yeah, yeah, I know you never miss
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: a beat, do you never gotta miss an opportunity? Fielding
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: in the slips here? I love it. There's some of
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: your messages.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: It was a good prank.
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: Wicker you go, boy, you go, You're dead and where
• 12:55
  Speaker 4: do you get this wild? And you just you just wild?
• 13:00
  Speaker 4: And you know, also is when you're stuck in traffic
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: and everyone in the corse is laughing because of this joke.
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: That's just such an awesome moment.
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: Well done there, and Olga, yes.
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: Terrible, terrible. You just keep going where many would would
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: tever plang.
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: You just keep going, keep going, all right, Thanks for
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: your messages. It is eight thirty time for your news
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: and the sports finners.