Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / Planning with Grace: Using the Enneagram to Reset When Life Feels Full with Terrie Power

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Planning with Grace: Using the Enneagram to Reset When Life Feels Full with Terrie Power · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

0:09
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast, the Enneagram for Real Life.
0:16
SPEAKER_00: Here is where you'll find conversations where faith meets story and strategy for lasting transformation.
0:25
SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Amy Wicks, here to help you find wisdom and wholehearted rhythms for moments that matter most.
0:33
SPEAKER_00: Whether you're learning your type or deepening your spiritual formation, these conversations will remind you that the Enneagram shines a light, but Christ is the transformation.
0:51
SPEAKER_00: For those who have been around and longtime listeners of the Simply Wholehearted podcast, you have probably met Terry Power before, but if you haven't, I want to introduce her to you as a longtime collective member, Enneagram coach, full focus planner, and consistency coach extraordinaire.
1:12
SPEAKER_00: She does so much not only for the wholehearted community, but she has a robust and thriving community as well online.
1:20
SPEAKER_00: She's very involved with her local community.
1:23
SPEAKER_00: She has another day job.
1:25
SPEAKER_00: We'll call it another day job.
1:28
SPEAKER_00: And while also being a mom and wife and a dog mom too, which is a whole thing.
1:34
SPEAKER_00: So I'm excited for you to get to know Terry better today.
1:38
SPEAKER_00: Now, as we launch into this conversation, I want you to just take a moment and take a breath.
1:48
SPEAKER_00: You might be listening to this and you're driving off to work or you're coming home after a long day and you're feeling tired and you're feeling maybe a little weary.
1:58
SPEAKER_00: And you really hope that there's something for you today.
2:03
SPEAKER_00: So I think a good way to prepare is a deep breath and paying attention.
2:09
SPEAKER_00: What do you actually need right now?
2:12
SPEAKER_00: What is it that the Lord has for you in this moment?
2:17
SPEAKER_00: It's okay if the Lord nudges you and says, actually, I just want some quiet time with you, or loud time conversation with you.
2:26
SPEAKER_00: Or yeah, pay attention and just enjoy the journey to get home, even if it's going to take you a little longer than you hoped for, because I have something in store for you today.
2:42
SPEAKER_00: So with that, as I mentioned, Terry Power, I would call her a consistency coach.
2:49
SPEAKER_00: She helps the team of coaches, the collective coaches.
2:53
SPEAKER_00: She's helped so many others really make the most of every opportunity, make the most of their time to be intentional, to set purposeful goals and intentions for their life and for their work.
3:06
SPEAKER_00: So we're going to dive into how the Enneagram can help us and also next steps for you, whatever that looks like for you.
3:14
SPEAKER_00: Be paying attention to see what is in here for you.
3:17
SPEAKER_00: So, Terry, thanks for letting me do that introduction and that pause really for us.
3:23
SPEAKER_00: I would love to hear for you right now, currently, what is a recent win that the Enneagram has given you?
3:31
SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for having me on again.
3:33
SPEAKER_01: It's always just to be in the room with you is always such a blessing, no matter how it is, even if it's virtual rooms.
3:39
SPEAKER_01: Yes, and love the ideogram, wouldn't know what to do without it anymore.
3:43
SPEAKER_01: It's such great insight.
3:45
SPEAKER_01: And for me, recently, I noticed I was really struggling with some time issues.
3:52
SPEAKER_01: I was feeling overwhelmed and I was angry.
3:56
SPEAKER_01: But as an ideogram nine, the anger was very hidden, but started getting a little snippy and noticing.
4:02
SPEAKER_01: I was like, okay, whatever.
4:04
SPEAKER_01: But then praying, realized, okay, wait a minute.
4:07
SPEAKER_01: What is what could the ideogram help me with this?
4:10
SPEAKER_01: And so I was like, where in my desires are my fears?
4:14
SPEAKER_01: Am I breaking down?
4:16
SPEAKER_01: So I started looking as is there conflict?
4:19
SPEAKER_01: Is it what is it internal, external conflict?
4:23
SPEAKER_01: What are we looking at?
4:24
SPEAKER_01: And I started digging, and then I was like, oh, the longing, my presence mattering.
4:29
SPEAKER_01: And I was feeling very that I wasn't taking care of.
4:33
SPEAKER_01: And so I had to stop and go, okay, wait a minute.
4:36
SPEAKER_01: Why do I feel my presence doesn't matter right now?
4:38
SPEAKER_01: Like where?
4:39
SPEAKER_01: And I realized it was with me.
4:41
SPEAKER_01: I was not caring for myself.
4:44
SPEAKER_01: I was had gotten lost in everyone else's desires again.
4:47
SPEAKER_01: Started saying yes to everything just to avoid conflict because I was tired and doing a lot of things.
4:53
SPEAKER_01: And so it really helped me just to take a moment and go, okay, who gives me my presence?
4:59
SPEAKER_01: Who cares for me?
5:00
SPEAKER_01: And was able to go, you know what?
5:02
SPEAKER_01: I do matter to God.
5:04
SPEAKER_01: He's given me an identity and a purpose.
5:05
SPEAKER_01: It's hard right now.
5:07
unknown: Yeah.
5:08
SPEAKER_01: Trying to do the calling that I have.
5:10
SPEAKER_01: But that my family does care for me being an early empty nester.
5:13
SPEAKER_01: I think I'm adjusting to not having the kids needing me, being home all the time.
5:18
SPEAKER_01: And so it really just helped me to sit down and go, okay, where am I feeling this?
5:22
SPEAKER_01: Because as gut instinct, that's where it came in.
5:24
SPEAKER_01: And then really taking time to go, okay, wait, let's look at all areas and see what I can do to spend some time to reset, to find my desires.
5:33
SPEAKER_01: And I'm still working on it.
5:35
SPEAKER_01: It's not perfect yet, but it has really helped recently on that.
5:39
SPEAKER_00: Oh, Terry, that was so beautiful.
5:41
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for giving the real life illustration of what it looks like to look at our emotions in an onion, as an onion would, right?
5:51
SPEAKER_00: Like the layer by layer for you, identifying the anger while repressed was simmering.
5:56
SPEAKER_00: You could feel it.
5:58
SPEAKER_00: It was the like wanting to react irrationally with forcefulness, but a willingness to then go deeper and go, okay, what is here beneath the anger?
6:10
SPEAKER_00: You identify the anger is beneath the surface, but then what's beneath the anger?
6:14
SPEAKER_00: What's tied to the anger?
6:16
SPEAKER_00: What's tied to that core longing?
6:18
SPEAKER_00: Who's actually the maybe the villain in this moment?
6:22
SPEAKER_00: Which I'll just go is time and self-management of that time is the villain.
6:28
SPEAKER_00: And you were able to go, okay, actually, I don't have to be a victim here.
6:33
SPEAKER_00: I can exercise agency.
6:35
SPEAKER_00: I teach time.
6:36
SPEAKER_00: I know how to do this.
6:38
SPEAKER_00: Let's be preaching to myself.
6:40
SPEAKER_00: Yes, absolutely.
6:43
SPEAKER_00: That is so good.
6:44
SPEAKER_00: You and I go way back with Enneagram.
6:46
SPEAKER_00: And specifically, you've really in the last five, six years or so, you've been pairing Enneagram with time, full focus, because you're certified in both areas, expert in that.
6:59
SPEAKER_00: What led you to really blend the two?
7:01
SPEAKER_00: Or for you, like where did it connect and intersect of going, oh yeah, this is a perfect marriage, if you will, of two concepts and ideas.
7:11
SPEAKER_01: It's so crazy because I have to say God, because I really I was like thinking about this and I was like, how did I get here?
7:18
SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's that was not the plan story.
7:20
SPEAKER_01: And it starts back for the longest time, I didn't even know my own desires.
7:24
SPEAKER_01: I just went along a volunteer, I do things, I'm always involved in something because I want to feel I'm a social idiogram nine, so I want to feel a part.
7:33
SPEAKER_01: So I've always done that, but at some point I was like, I want more.
7:38
SPEAKER_01: And so whether it was finally taking a risk and taking my little bitties on a road trip years ago, that kind of was the start of, ooh, I can do something I really want that's hard.
7:47
SPEAKER_01: We took a two-week road trip, went all the way from Texas to Niagara, down to Washington, DC to see some friends and back with a four, I think it was a six-year-old and a four-year-old.
7:58
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, oh, but to do that, it was a lot of planning and thinking through.
8:03
SPEAKER_01: And the reason I bring that up is later, as they grew and we get involved at home, we would still do that.
8:09
SPEAKER_01: And it was the one place I felt alive.
8:11
SPEAKER_01: And a little before COVID, God was calling me to lead to open a business.
8:16
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, I'm a speech language pathologist, I could open a clinic, but it never did.
8:21
SPEAKER_01: And so finally, just decided out of the blue to do ideogram.
8:26
SPEAKER_01: God just laid it in my lap, COVID, doing a free thing, then oh, I think I'll do this.
8:31
SPEAKER_01: And then Jason had shared with me the planning and the full focus planner.
8:37
SPEAKER_01: And I was watching it and they're like, we're gonna start certifying people.
8:40
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, let's just try this.
8:41
SPEAKER_01: This will be fun.
8:42
SPEAKER_01: Gut instinct.
8:43
SPEAKER_01: So it really just that was it.
8:45
SPEAKER_01: But then what I realized as I look back, as a nine, it's hard for me to know what I want and how to get there.
8:53
SPEAKER_01: And so a lot of if you follow me with my community of Terry Power Coaching, you'll see road tripping is like my metaphor because you can't, I realize without a destination, we're so lost.
9:05
SPEAKER_01: And as a mom and a volunteer and a working full-time, I would get lost in trying to be mom or employee or volunteer.
9:15
SPEAKER_01: Because even though I did things, it was always a role instead of my identity.
9:19
SPEAKER_01: And so I realized that the way to find your identity and to find that purpose that God's calling us to, you've got to know where you're going.
9:28
SPEAKER_01: And the combination of personality, understanding the motivation, other things, tools that I used, as well as look at your time.
9:38
SPEAKER_01: You've got to be wise and we've got to quit trying to be it all.
9:41
unknown: Yeah.
9:41
SPEAKER_01: And so that's where it came.
9:43
SPEAKER_01: And just slowly God just morphed it and is still morphing it.
9:47
SPEAKER_01: And so it's really exciting to see how He's leading women and others into this ability to find what they want and to get there.
9:55
SPEAKER_00: That's so great.
9:56
SPEAKER_00: At the root of it, we all have a destination we want to get to.
10:02
SPEAKER_00: But the variations, not only of how to get there, but the things we do along the way is going to look unique to each one of us.
10:09
SPEAKER_00: And I love how, and again, it's really true.
10:14
SPEAKER_00: Terry helps the collective coaches plan their quarterly goals, get clear on what we're doing.
10:20
SPEAKER_00: And it's just amazing.
10:22
SPEAKER_00: While many of us have similar desired outcomes and intentions, she knows how to nurture each one of us and guide each one of us to how is it that we're going to get there in a way that works for you?
10:34
SPEAKER_00: So I love that.
10:36
SPEAKER_00: And that's where that Enneagram personalization really, I think, turns up the notch on the full focus aspect.
10:43
SPEAKER_00: Now, one of the things that we love to talk about is your flex plan.
10:47
SPEAKER_00: And this has been something you and I have worked on and massaged.
10:51
SPEAKER_00: And I will probably have some bonus links again in the show notes to some resources, materials around this, and past conversations.
11:00
SPEAKER_00: But I would love to hear for you because your flex plan is it's just life-giving.
11:06
SPEAKER_00: To me, it gives the practicals to this rhythm we're always talking about, finding life-giving rhythms, what's your wholehearted rhythm?
11:13
SPEAKER_00: It puts a little bit more design, if you will.
11:16
SPEAKER_00: So I feel like this pushes up against some of the myths and hot takes out there in the planning industry.
11:24
SPEAKER_00: So just tell me some of the things that we should be questioning, challenging a little bit, or maybe considering that we've bought into that are limiting us to the life-giving rhythms that would really help us thrive.
11:37
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
11:38
SPEAKER_01: I think the biggest thing that has hit me is I've been praying and talking to people and watching right now is the myth that we need to have it all and we can do it all.
11:48
SPEAKER_01: That, oh, I'm going to start doing this project, but I can still do everything else and no one else can do it like me.
11:56
SPEAKER_01: Or the opposite of I can't do it.
11:59
SPEAKER_01: So I'm just going to shut down and let everyone else run my life.
12:02
SPEAKER_01: And just finding that rhythm that it's you've got to know that destination.
12:08
SPEAKER_01: However, you got a plan and you need help.
12:12
SPEAKER_01: Now, if you're taking a trip to the park, that's fine.
12:15
SPEAKER_01: Great.
12:15
SPEAKER_01: You can probably figure that out.
12:17
SPEAKER_01: If you decide to climb Mount Everest, I recommend a guide.
12:21
SPEAKER_01: And you need to research it, plus the whole community to go with you.
12:25
SPEAKER_01: A lot of money.
12:26
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
12:27
SPEAKER_01: So it's that balance of knowing where you are, but then pausing and going, looking at how do we plan.
12:33
SPEAKER_01: So in Flex, I call it a full plan.
12:35
SPEAKER_01: What is logical?
12:36
SPEAKER_01: What can I actually get done this every week?
12:39
SPEAKER_01: What's the rhythm?
12:40
SPEAKER_01: And who can help me?
12:42
SPEAKER_01: Quit trying to do it all, or that all or nothing that some of our personalities get into, or if it can't be done this way.
12:50
SPEAKER_01: I hear that a lot.
12:51
SPEAKER_01: Let has to be, it should be.
12:53
SPEAKER_01: And of course, I do it too.
12:55
SPEAKER_01: And I'll you've caught me a couple of times.
12:57
SPEAKER_01: Just oh, that's it.
12:58
SPEAKER_01: Can't what if?
12:59
SPEAKER_01: What if, or yet?
13:01
SPEAKER_01: What are you sharing them?
13:02
SPEAKER_01: Are you sure?
13:03
SPEAKER_01: And drawing those.
13:05
SPEAKER_01: So planning is so important.
13:07
SPEAKER_01: But there's also the myth of you have to give it all a hundred percent to everything, which is scientifically impossible.
13:15
SPEAKER_01: You can't give a hundred.
13:16
SPEAKER_01: We all know that.
13:17
SPEAKER_01: You can't give a hundred percent to each thing, but we try.
13:20
SPEAKER_01: You truly have to divide your time equally or divide it up into a hundred units.
13:26
SPEAKER_01: So look at your week, plan it.
13:28
SPEAKER_01: Know if you have practices or if you have journaling groups you want to go to, are you work?
13:36
SPEAKER_01: Who can help you?
13:37
SPEAKER_01: What can you actually do?
13:39
SPEAKER_01: What limits and boundaries do we set on ourselves and our children?
13:42
SPEAKER_01: My husband and I have talked strongly about that of choosing the true path and not trying at all, figuring out what our kids wanted, what we want.
13:51
SPEAKER_01: And so there are times you have to start lightening up though.
13:54
SPEAKER_01: And that's what L stands for, which is light.
13:56
SPEAKER_01: And we also have essential and what I call X out.
13:59
SPEAKER_01: So basically it means when things pop up, we have alternative plans in place.
14:03
SPEAKER_01: And we don't keep trying to operate a hundred percent when things aren't going well.
14:08
SPEAKER_01: We have to give ourselves grace.
14:10
SPEAKER_01: I just see so many people come so defeated, going, I can't do it.
14:14
SPEAKER_01: And then they're like, I'm like, what's going on?
14:15
SPEAKER_01: And it's my mom came to live with us, and I've been sick with the flu, and then I caught COVID, and my husband's traveling.
14:22
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, and you really we have seasons, and the Bible speaks of seasons, and we have to figure out how to bring that into us so that we can find the things that are most important and quit doing and not criticizing ourselves that guess what?
14:39
SPEAKER_01: It's a really essential time.
14:41
SPEAKER_01: I'm right there right now, and it's nothing compared to other people, but I've got so much going on that we've allowed ourselves to eat out a lot.
14:49
SPEAKER_01: Have fun set aside.
14:50
SPEAKER_01: It's not what I want health-wise, it's not there.
14:53
SPEAKER_01: But there's a period when it's okay, this other stuff is most important right now.
14:57
SPEAKER_01: We're gonna try to eat out healthy, but this is what we're doing.
15:00
SPEAKER_01: And I still will catch myself going, but it's permission.
15:05
SPEAKER_01: But then there's gotta be the reset, which is what I'm working on right now, yes.
15:11
SPEAKER_01: Let's get back.
15:11
SPEAKER_01: Let's get back for those of you personalities who are like, you know what, I can sit for a while.
15:16
SPEAKER_01: Y'all, the withdrawals, you're getting me right now.
15:19
SPEAKER_01: And it's learning to reset.
15:21
SPEAKER_01: So the whole flex program is there, but there's a reset in there to get you slowly back to full.
15:26
SPEAKER_01: We can't just start the next week and be like, okay, all the kids feel better.
15:30
SPEAKER_01: Let's go.
15:31
SPEAKER_01: Yes, right.
15:36
SPEAKER_01: So it's planning with grace and flexibility in mind, especially for ourselves, because we're hardest on ourselves.
15:43
SPEAKER_00: Oh, for sure.
15:44
SPEAKER_00: We all have expectations, whether we try to deny them or corral them or push them down, they're there.
15:53
SPEAKER_00: So you might as well, and really the concept is plan the ideal week, get that on paper, be really clear, but then have your backup and then a backup to the backup, and then you have the, hey, this is what it looks like to just survive right now.
16:08
SPEAKER_00: But what I think what you're saying is so important because this is a recurring theme.
16:13
SPEAKER_00: Once I get someone to make the intention and even come up with the backup plans, they go to the L, the E, or the X, and they never get back to the F, the like flourishing and getting into that rhythm again because it they either feel defeated or we just because we're human, we get stuck in those cycles of defeatism or just this is comfortable.
16:37
SPEAKER_00: So I love that you talk about we then do need a reset.
16:40
SPEAKER_00: We need a let's reorient, let's reassess, and we can step into maybe the just the stuff of a survival and work our way back up again.
16:50
SPEAKER_00: Yes, absolutely.
16:51
SPEAKER_00: Okay, we can buy planners everywhere.
16:55
SPEAKER_00: We can go to Walmart, we can go to Target, go to old Amazon.
16:58
SPEAKER_00: It could probably be there this afternoon if I order it this morning.
17:01
SPEAKER_00: So there's that.
17:02
SPEAKER_00: We can read all sorts of things about the Enneagram in a book on social media, through AI.
17:10
SPEAKER_00: Tell me what it looks like and why is it that we might need or want someone to help us merge the two ideas together?
17:20
SPEAKER_00: And we also might have difficulty processing through the planner we got at Target or the any information we get through a book.
17:30
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I that's so true.
17:31
SPEAKER_01: And I think the thing is one, we're not meant to live alone.
17:35
SPEAKER_01: We're meant to walk in community, we are meant to live a bigger story.
17:42
SPEAKER_01: And in our society, I feel like we have really learned to isolate ourselves and it's safer in some ways.
17:48
SPEAKER_01: We don't get hurt, we don't have to worry about conflict for us nights.
17:51
SPEAKER_01: Our sevens can go have fun.
17:53
SPEAKER_01: It's whatever, but it's really about having someone else who can understand you and walk with you.
18:00
SPEAKER_01: There's community first.
18:02
SPEAKER_01: I think that's the first level is finding a community somewhere, whether it's a Bible study, a group of friends that plan a girls' trip together, literally take a destination and just go together, do something so that you don't feel like you're trekking up that mountain by yourself or dragging your whole family with you and you're the one in charge.
18:23
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
18:24
SPEAKER_01: But then realizing if God has put a big dream, which could be raising a godly family, that is still a huge dream.
18:31
SPEAKER_01: Or if you're opening a business, or if you're starting a new career, whatever it is, your challenges of having a child that's disabled.
18:41
SPEAKER_01: I work with parents of special needs children.
18:43
SPEAKER_01: Whatever it is that you've got a goal for your child, for you, for God's mission that He's put in your life, no one who has a big thing does it alone.
18:55
SPEAKER_01: And we see this in the Bible.
18:57
SPEAKER_01: God sends, He sent Aaron with Moses and Miriam, and he sends people to help people to guide the guide by the side, as often you say.
19:09
SPEAKER_01: And it has to be this ability for someone to be able to look in objectively, someone who's not gonna just say, Hey, you're doing great.
19:18
SPEAKER_01: That's the new thing.
19:19
SPEAKER_01: I have to admit, we do need encouragement too, though.
19:22
SPEAKER_01: I'm finding people turning to chat GPT just because it's so kind and gentle.
19:27
SPEAKER_01: Everything I put in chat GPT tells me how amazing I am and how wonderful and amazing ideas I have.
19:33
SPEAKER_01: And I catch myself going, Well, thank you.
19:36
unknown: That's amazing.
19:38
SPEAKER_01: Yes, so true.
19:40
SPEAKER_01: We really need someone to go, wait, let's pause.
19:43
SPEAKER_01: Is this your heart?
19:44
SPEAKER_01: Now, again, love AI, love that you we can use technology now to make it ours because it can help us do more than, but you need someone a lot of time as a coach or a mentor or someone to guide you.
19:58
SPEAKER_01: And the most important thing is who can ask the questions.
20:02
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, who can understand the nuance?
20:04
SPEAKER_01: Yes, we tend to not ask ourselves questions, we tend to make statements.
20:08
SPEAKER_01: And you need someone to say what about, what if, or just say, What do you want?
20:15
SPEAKER_01: Because it's just different coming from someone else.
20:17
SPEAKER_01: And so we need those people when we've got big deals, athletes, actors, so many people who are successful, they didn't do it alone.
20:26
SPEAKER_01: They've got a list of coaches and teachers, and just because we may not be going for that high level doesn't mean that in our society we can't put ourselves first, and that's hard as women, and spend money or join mentor groups or reach out to the lady at church and say, I need help.
20:45
SPEAKER_01: Right.
20:45
SPEAKER_00: It's so important.
20:47
SPEAKER_00: It is, it's so important.
20:49
SPEAKER_00: Okay, I was thinking about something that you offer specifically, and you alluded to almost the self-coaching that you do for yourself as a nine when it comes to time, and how do you even get unstuck, if you will, when you're in a spiral?
21:05
SPEAKER_00: Could you give us some just like a real quick little tip?
21:08
SPEAKER_00: You don't have to go through all the types, but I was thinking by communication patterns.
21:13
SPEAKER_00: Like, what do you give?
21:14
SPEAKER_00: Because the four, five, nine, they're in the same communication pattern withdrawn.
21:18
SPEAKER_00: You've talked about that.
21:19
SPEAKER_00: What in general to those three types do you typically are what are you saying?
21:24
SPEAKER_00: How are you encouraging them to nudge them along?
21:26
SPEAKER_00: Because they are quote unquote doing repressed, which is so insulting, but it is a struggle.
21:33
SPEAKER_00: So, how how do you specifically coach them?
21:35
SPEAKER_00: What does that look like to take the knowledge into real life integration, real life integration and transformation?
21:43
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
21:44
SPEAKER_01: So, yes, I love working it doing repressed is the truth.
21:47
SPEAKER_01: And it's strange because a lot of people think I'm a three because I do go into my growth path a lot because I'm social.
21:53
SPEAKER_01: And so you can get people sit to say, oh, you can do this, it's fine, but then you hit a a wall.
22:00
SPEAKER_01: And our doing repress, what happens is we have some sort of overwhelm.
22:03
SPEAKER_01: Whether it that's five is just withdrawing into their own world, the nine is okay, I'm good.
22:08
SPEAKER_01: The couch in Netflix is a good place.
22:10
SPEAKER_01: I my husband is a we're both withdrawn.
22:12
SPEAKER_01: So there's a lot of Netflix that goes on our in our comfy couches.
22:17
SPEAKER_01: And so the key, I think, with those doing repressed is the virtues.
22:21
SPEAKER_01: And I think nine's virtues is one of the I love it, is action.
22:26
SPEAKER_01: One more step, one thing.
22:28
SPEAKER_01: What one next thing can I do?
22:31
SPEAKER_01: Because once you start moving with the when you're looking towards the past, you're scared, we're past oriented, we're like, oh, I don't want to go through that again.
22:40
SPEAKER_01: I don't want to feel that again.
22:42
SPEAKER_01: I don't want to have that again.
22:43
SPEAKER_01: Or oh, I'm searching for something I had and I can't find it again.
22:47
SPEAKER_01: So we just stop.
22:49
SPEAKER_01: And it's if you can get into action, if you can do the thing that's the next hardest thing, or set some rituals and rhythms.
22:58
SPEAKER_01: Our types do not like ritual.
22:59
SPEAKER_01: Fives somewhat do, but I tell you, fours and nines, we avoid rhythm and ritual like crazy, but we desperately need it.
23:07
SPEAKER_01: Um finding those things that you can do without thinking because decisions are hard.
23:11
SPEAKER_01: And every day, what are three things I can do today?
23:15
SPEAKER_01: And if you can't think of three, what is one thing I just want to accomplish today in the midst of craziness that matters and is for my goals?
23:23
SPEAKER_01: And again, if you more than important than anything is don't do it alone.
23:27
SPEAKER_01: You gotta reach out.
23:28
SPEAKER_01: And some of us like to avoid, but find a partner, find a coach, find someone to encourage because it's so easy to get looked backwards and not realize where you're going.
23:39
SPEAKER_01: And it's so important because you have got such an amazing part in this world.
23:44
SPEAKER_00: Oh, that is awesome.
23:45
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
23:46
SPEAKER_00: Would you indulge us, Terry, and give us insight for the dutiful types, the one, two, six?
23:52
SPEAKER_00: What's the most common advice that you give them?
23:55
SPEAKER_00: And then I won't leave out the assertive types because I just think this is good because I imagine somebody's gonna need to hear this today.
24:03
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
24:04
SPEAKER_00: So my present types, don't forget there's a future.
24:07
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's good.
24:09
SPEAKER_01: Literally, that's what we talk about is it's not about perfecting now, it's about knowing what that destination is.
24:15
SPEAKER_01: And they're so amazing about taking care of everyone and staying in the moment.
24:20
SPEAKER_01: But then, but then they forget to move and they forget.
24:24
SPEAKER_01: And so, really simplifying setting boundaries, whether it's your own boundaries against perfectionism, or it's a boundary against other people's demand on your time, or the boundaries that six need to put on their own fears, is learn to draw boundaries and stick to those boundaries and watch the mindset, the soundtracks in your mind, as John Edcuff recently been a lot of my clients are listening to that.
24:51
SPEAKER_01: Know your soundtrack and change it to that positive because you're moving, but make sure you're moving forward.
24:58
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
24:58
SPEAKER_00: And we're a lot of times in place.
25:01
SPEAKER_00: Yes, and with this inner confidence of truth running through your mind, because thinking repression is a vice for the one, two, and six.
25:11
SPEAKER_00: That feels paradoxal at some level, because you're going, wait a minute, the the six is a thinking type.
25:17
SPEAKER_00: And what does it mean for a feeling type to be thinking repressed?
25:21
SPEAKER_00: And the one is good.
25:22
SPEAKER_00: What does that look like?
25:23
SPEAKER_00: And it's the overthinking, the one about the perfection element, the two overthinking about other people, and the six, as you mentioned, the overthinking about staying safe, the multi-scenario thinking, those loops.
25:37
SPEAKER_00: And any six listening is going, yes, that's me.
25:40
SPEAKER_00: So I think this is really important.
25:42
SPEAKER_00: Okay, I might need some advice today as well.
25:44
SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna ask for the three, seven, and eight because we're the assertive types.
25:49
SPEAKER_00: I have a feeling I know what you're going to say, but tell it anyway.
25:54
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love it.
25:55
SPEAKER_01: Don't forget about the present.
25:57
SPEAKER_01: It's good.
25:58
SPEAKER_01: But y'all, you know what I've noticed with when working with those clients who y'all dream so big, but it's really not about, it's about determining a single destination.
26:09
SPEAKER_01: But you can plan multiple trips.
26:11
SPEAKER_01: I tell people have multiple trips planned, but you can only go on one at a time.
26:16
SPEAKER_01: Or you may you may, what if your road trip has multiple stops?
26:20
SPEAKER_01: Great, but you got to make sure it has the time.
26:23
SPEAKER_01: And so for the future-oriented types, I think you need to be grounded in the present, finding that time each week to go what is truly possible.
26:34
SPEAKER_01: Now, I want to caution because what y'all are so amazing at, and I watch my eights and sevens and threes that I'm friends with and watch all of you that just mazes these withdrawal types is y'all can do way more than we even can imagine.
26:48
SPEAKER_01: Like the energy and the push is there that other types are like, I don't even fathom, like whatever.
26:54
SPEAKER_01: But there's moments when watch who you're dragging along with you.
26:57
SPEAKER_01: Make sure you're not sure.
26:58
SPEAKER_01: It's nobody's exhausted and you're still trying to climb the mountain.
27:02
SPEAKER_01: So care for those around you.
27:04
SPEAKER_01: Take moments to just sit and ponder and listen.
27:09
SPEAKER_01: So making sure you're listening.
27:12
SPEAKER_01: We asked talk about asking questions, making sure you're asking the questions of yourself quietly, not just all the time, but and waiting for the answers from others and from God.
27:24
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
27:25
SPEAKER_00: Okay, brilliantly done.
27:27
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for letting me put you on the spot like that.
27:30
SPEAKER_00: I knew you knew it.
27:32
SPEAKER_00: I'm really just gonna blame it on it.
27:33
SPEAKER_00: I felt led to go that direction.
27:36
SPEAKER_00: So I think this is hopefully, and I think I'm going to venture to say possibly a purposeful reset in that where just those reminders of, oh yeah, this is how I'm wired.
27:49
SPEAKER_00: It's not a mistake, it's not a problem.
27:52
SPEAKER_00: It can be problematic, but here's some insight.
27:56
SPEAKER_00: So it doesn't have to be your step point.
27:59
SPEAKER_00: Like it might be your starting point.
28:01
SPEAKER_00: That might be how you orient it, that might be your perspective, that might be the label, but it doesn't, you don't have to stay there.
28:08
SPEAKER_00: You can get out of the box.
28:10
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
28:11
SPEAKER_00: Our time has gone too quickly, but I have a couple of last questions for you.
28:16
SPEAKER_00: And this one would be for the woman who's listening and she's hearing this information.
28:23
SPEAKER_00: She's still feeling exhausted.
28:25
SPEAKER_00: She's got a lot of ideas swirling, or she's even just provoked to think, okay, maybe it is about setting intention.
28:31
SPEAKER_00: Maybe I can own my time instead of it owning me.
28:35
SPEAKER_00: What compassion or word would you want to speak to her or share with her as she's pondering what we've talked about so far today?
28:45
SPEAKER_01: I would say again, you're not alone, as in, I know so many people right now who are thinking this.
28:51
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
28:52
SPEAKER_01: People are tired.
28:53
SPEAKER_01: It is overwhelming.
28:54
SPEAKER_01: This earth is a hard place to be sometimes.
28:57
SPEAKER_01: We are so blessed and we have so many blessings that we forget how exhausting it can be.
29:03
SPEAKER_01: So, first of all, taking time to be kind to yourself, to make sure the words you're saying to yourself are helpful and kind and gentle.
29:12
SPEAKER_01: Look at why you're feeling this way, ask questions, and just reach out to somebody, whether it is someone at your church, like I said before, if it's getting a coach, if it's joining a community, don't do it alone.
29:27
SPEAKER_01: Reach out because we have forgotten where community is.
29:30
SPEAKER_01: And it's so important for you to tell your story.
29:35
SPEAKER_01: Not just to live your story, but to tell your story.
29:39
SPEAKER_01: So we're living a story whether we want to or not.
29:41
SPEAKER_01: And some are a little more exciting than others, or maybe a little too horror story.
29:46
SPEAKER_01: And some of it's actually just traumatic.
29:49
SPEAKER_01: I have some people in my life right now who are living through trauma and it is difficult and we're all struggling.
29:55
SPEAKER_01: But you have a story that God has uniquely designed for you.
29:59
SPEAKER_01: And don't be afraid to share it because the person right next to you or that person, that mom across from you may need you.
30:06
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
30:07
SPEAKER_01: And we all need to be needed.
30:08
SPEAKER_01: But then those of us who are like, what do you mean?
30:10
SPEAKER_01: Everyone needs me.
30:12
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
30:12
SPEAKER_01: But giving into people who are in a community that aren't your direct family, that necessarily may not be the people you're around, brings new insight to you and to others.
30:24
SPEAKER_01: So take a moment, find those people, and then get support.
30:27
SPEAKER_01: If you really are struggling, reach out to mentors, to coaches.
30:31
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't mean you're weak.
30:33
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't mean you have failed.
30:35
SPEAKER_01: It means you're human and you're doing what the Lord says is to go in community and get that help you need.
30:42
SPEAKER_01: And it makes all the difference.
30:43
SPEAKER_01: I don't know what I would do without my coaches and my communities.
30:46
SPEAKER_01: It has changed me in the past five years.
30:49
SPEAKER_01: I may get emotional.
30:50
SPEAKER_01: I honestly don't know how I would get through things without.
30:54
SPEAKER_01: And you know what?
30:55
SPEAKER_01: Most of them are sitting across from a computer screen right now.
30:59
SPEAKER_01: And they are still amazing support to me.
31:01
SPEAKER_01: And even my own clients, like they are such amazing people from all around the world.
31:06
SPEAKER_01: And it's such a neat thing to see how we light up when someone sees who we are and who we were meant to be.
31:13
SPEAKER_01: So take a small step.
31:15
SPEAKER_01: Learn if it's just learning a little bit more about yourself in the ideogram, start there.
31:20
SPEAKER_01: If it's going to coffee with someone or if it's hiring a coach, whatever it is, don't just sit and wait.
31:26
SPEAKER_01: Take action from this nine.
31:28
SPEAKER_01: If a nine can take action, you can take action, right?
31:30
SPEAKER_01: Anyway, we can do it.
31:32
SPEAKER_01: Fives and nines, we can do it.
31:33
SPEAKER_00: Everybody else can.
31:35
SPEAKER_00: There's such immense value in truly being heard and having someone bear witness to your story.
31:43
SPEAKER_00: I think many of us have words that need to get out and cared for.
31:49
SPEAKER_00: And that's what the story work process is.
31:52
SPEAKER_00: And I know both you and I similarly love to sit across from Zoom with other women and hear their story and reflect back to them where we see the gaps, where there needs to be care, maybe a solution, even, because sometimes we can't see the forest through the trees.
32:10
SPEAKER_00: And so it is important to be in a safe place and have safe people to bear witness to your story.
32:16
SPEAKER_00: That's really valuable.
32:17
SPEAKER_00: But I think that's a beautiful invitation and a great nudge for everyone.
32:21
SPEAKER_00: And like I I have seen you, our first interaction was January of 2023.
32:27
SPEAKER_00: I shouldn't say that our first interaction goes back to 2021, but in person.
32:32
SPEAKER_00: And we've been week in and week out all of these years now.
32:37
SPEAKER_00: And I've just seen you flourish and grow and testify to the great help of coaching and coaching community.
32:44
SPEAKER_00: So that's beautiful.
32:45
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I'm going to guess that a woman listening today is going, yeah, I need to take a next step.
32:52
SPEAKER_00: I don't have community locally.
32:54
SPEAKER_00: I don't even know who to turn to, but Terry feels safe.
32:59
SPEAKER_00: Maybe her story feels familiar.
33:01
SPEAKER_00: So where could she reach out to take that next step with you and to learn more about all the amazing things that you offer?
33:09
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
33:09
SPEAKER_01: Of course, I am a collective coach with wholehearted, but you can also look at Terry PowerCoaching.com.
33:16
SPEAKER_01: I have a blog.
33:16
SPEAKER_01: You can sign up for our newsletter.
33:19
SPEAKER_01: We have some great things coming up.
33:21
SPEAKER_01: I'm so excited.
33:22
SPEAKER_01: I do six weeks cohorts that you can join a community.
33:25
SPEAKER_01: It's in the evenings for those of you who have to work and or have lots going on.
33:30
SPEAKER_01: We have one starting in November on the flex plan and how to get through the holidays.
33:35
SPEAKER_01: So be looking for that.
33:37
SPEAKER_01: You can find all that on the website, and I'm on Instagram and Facebook as well at Terry Power Coaching.
33:46
SPEAKER_00: Okay, friend.
33:48
SPEAKER_00: As you've listened, you've I'm going to guess there was a nugget here for you today.
33:53
SPEAKER_00: So take a minute and decide what you're going to do with that information.
33:58
SPEAKER_00: The whole purpose, the passion, and the vision behind this wholehearted Enneagram podcast is to not just give you a bunch of information.
34:06
SPEAKER_00: We want you to take action.
34:08
SPEAKER_00: We want you to feel support and love and care and to integrate.
34:14
SPEAKER_00: So take a moment, ask what wisdom is for you today, and what is yours to do next.
34:20
SPEAKER_00: Reach out, get support, take a deep breath, reset.
34:25
SPEAKER_00: And my friend, you've got this.
34:27
SPEAKER_00: So, Terry, thank you so much for joining me today and having this amazing conversation.
34:33
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for having me.
34:34
SPEAKER_00: It's always wonderful.
34:39
SPEAKER_00: Thanks so much for joining me for the Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast.
34:44
SPEAKER_00: If this conversation spoke to you, please share it with a friend.
34:49
SPEAKER_00: You can also visit simply wholehearted.com to take the free Enneagram quiz and also get your personalized podcast playlist specific for your Enneagram type.
35:01
SPEAKER_00: And remember, friend, your starting point doesn't have to be your stuck point.