Latest / Gospel Explorations / 077: God's Design for Marriage - Matthew 19:1-6
Transcript
- 0:04Mark: Hello everyone, this is Mark Davis, and I want to welcome you to the Gospel Explorations of Yes.
- 0:10Mark: Where we gather together each week to take time to explore the world to learn how we have to live in this present age.
- 0:16Mark: And glad you've chosen to spend some time with us today.
- 0:19Mark: Let's jump into today's episode.
- 0:21Mark: Hello, friends, and welcome back to the Gospel Explorations Podcast.
- 0:32Mark: This is episode number 77.
- 0:34Mark: I am Mark Davis, your host, and I'm so thankful that you've taken time to join us today as we continue uh reading through Matthew's gospel and learning truths that I hope will help us uh to grow in our faith.
- 0:47Mark: So today we're looking at Matthew chapter 19, and uh really this is kind of the beginning of Jesus' journey that will ultimately take him toward Jerusalem and the cross.
- 0:58Mark: And as we meet up with Jesus in this passage, we find the Pharisees coming to him with another question.
- 1:03Mark: But what we notice is this isn't really a question, it's more of a trap.
- 1:07Mark: And we say that because they want Jesus to enter into one of the greatest religious debates of the day, and that was a debate about marriage and divorce.
- 1:16Mark: Now, what I love about Jesus' response here is that he refuses to begin where they begin.
- 1:21Mark: They want to talk about how a marriage can end, but Jesus wants to talk about why God created marriage in the first place.
- 1:28Mark: And truly that distinction matters because sometimes we can become so focused on what is permitted that we forget to ask, what did God intend?
- 1:37Mark: So today we're gonna look at Matthew 19, verses 1 through 6, and listen as Jesus takes us all the way back to the beginning, to creation itself, to remind us that marriage is not merely a human arrangement or social convention, it is God's design.
- 1:53Mark: So let's look then at Matthew chapter 19.
- 1:56Mark: Starting in verses 1 and 2, we read these words, and it came to pass that when Jesus had finished these things, he departed from Galilee and came into the coast of Judea beyond Jordan, and great multitudes followed him, and he healed him there.
- 2:11Mark: So this is a transition that's taking place between chapter 18 and chapter 19, and much of what we've studied so far in Matthew has really centered around Jesus' ministry in Galilee.
- 2:22Mark: But now we notice that Jesus is leaving Galilee and moving towards Judea.
- 2:27Mark: Now there's something we need to remind ourselves as we read Matthew's gospel, and that there's something significant taking place here in this movement because we find Jesus moving toward Jerusalem and ultimately we know moving toward uh the crucifixion.
- 2:42Mark: He has already told his disciples what awaits him there.
- 2:45Mark: In Matthew chapter 16 and Matthew chapter 17, he explains to them that he's going to be betrayed, that he's going to be killed, and that he will rise again.
- 2:54Mark: So, really, every step toward Jerusalem is another step towards Calvary.
- 2:59Mark: But notice what's taking place along the way.
- 3:01Mark: Verse 2, it tells us great multitudes followed him, and he healed them.
- 3:05Mark: Even though his location had changed, his compassion had not, and his mission continued, even as people were following Jesus, he was ministering to them.
- 3:14Mark: Now look with me at verse number three.
- 3:16Mark: The Bible says the Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
- 3:24Mark: Now it's important we notice that word tempting, because their question is not sincere.
- 3:30Mark: You see, they aren't struggling through a difficult marriage and looking to ask Jesus for wisdom.
- 3:35Mark: They aren't trying to understand the scriptures better.
- 3:38Mark: They just want Jesus to say something that they can then use against him.
- 3:42Mark: And they've chosen a very controversial subject to do it, and that is divorce.
- 3:48Mark: In the day, there are two competing schools of thought amongst Jewish teachers concerning what is written in Deuteronomy 24.
- 3:55Mark: One school that's often associated with Rabbi Shemai interpreted the grounds for divorce very narrowly, while another school that is associated with Rabbi Hillel interpreted them much more broadly.
- 4:08Mark: So when the Pharisees asked, is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
- 4:13Mark: They're essentially asking Jesus to take a side.
- 4:16Mark: And it looks like a perfect trap.
- 4:18Mark: If Jesus takes the stricter position, he risks alienating people who preferred the easier view of divorce.
- 4:24Mark: And if he takes the more permissive position, they can accuse him of weakening the demands of Scripture.
- 4:29Mark: But Jesus doesn't choose either, Rabbi.
- 4:32Mark: Instead, he takes him somewhere else entirely, back to the book of Genesis.
- 4:37Mark: And there's something important for us in that.
- 4:39Mark: Because when the culture becomes confused about something God has established, we don't start with culture.
- 4:45Mark: We don't start with popular opinion.
- 4:47Mark: We don't even start with religious tradition.
- 4:50Mark: We must begin with the word of God.
- 4:52Mark: So look what Jesus says to them in verse number four.
- 4:55Mark: And he answered and said to them, Have ye not read that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female?
- 5:01Mark: Now I love the simplicity of that opening question.
- 5:04Mark: He says, Hey guys, haven't you read this already?
- 5:08Mark: These are religious scholars and they know the scriptures.
- 5:11Mark: In essence, Jesus is saying to them, Have you forgotten already what your Bible says?
- 5:16Mark: He takes them all the way back to Genesis 1 and 2, because if we want to understand marriage properly, we have to understand what marriage was intended to be before sin distorted it.
- 5:27Mark: That's why Jesus tells us he which made them at the beginning made them male and female.
- 5:32Mark: You see, marriage did not originate with human government or even with Jewish culture, or for that matter, even with the church.
- 5:39Mark: Marriage originated with God.
- 5:41Mark: God created humanity male and female, and it was God that established marriage.
- 5:46Mark: This means then that marriage ultimately belongs to God.
- 5:50Mark: And if he's the one that designed it, then he gets the authority to define it.
- 5:54Mark: Look now in verse five.
- 5:56Mark: And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and they twain shall be one flesh.
- 6:03Mark: In this verse, Jesus is quoting Genesis 224.
- 6:06Mark: And notice the movement laid out for us in this verse.
- 6:09Mark: A man shall leave, he shall cleave, and the two shall be one flesh.
- 6:16Mark: These words give us a beautiful picture for God's design in marriage.
- 6:20Mark: First, there is a leaving.
- 6:22Mark: That is, that marriage establishes a new family relationship.
- 6:26Mark: This doesn't mean that we stop loving or honoring our parents, but the primary human relationship changes.
- 6:32Mark: The husband and wife establish a new family unit.
- 6:35Mark: And then the King James uses this word here, cleaving.
- 6:39Mark: It's this beautiful word that holds with it the idea of joining together or remaining attached.
- 6:46Mark: Marriage is not intended to be a temporary arrangement, maintained only as long as both people can find it convenient.
- 6:54Mark: There is commitment here.
- 6:56Mark: It's a permanence, it's a covenant.
- 6:59Mark: And then we read that the scriptures tell us that there is a oneness, that is, the two shall be one flesh.
- 7:05Mark: That's more than simply saying they're living in the same house.
- 7:09Mark: And while it certainly includes physical intimacy, it goes so much further than that.
- 7:14Mark: Because the marriage is the joining together of two lives, two people with different backgrounds, different personalities and strengths, weaknesses and experiences.
- 7:25Mark: And God brings them together to create something new, what we read as one flesh.
- 7:31Mark: Now, this doesn't mean that the husband and wife cease to be individuals, it means that their lives are now uniquely joined together.
- 7:38Mark: Their decisions affect the other.
- 7:41Mark: Their joy belongs one to the other.
- 7:43Mark: Their burdens are carried together, their futures are intertwined.
- 7:49Mark: Because marriage is two people learning by God's grace to live as one.
- 7:54Mark: And that truth takes us directly into the work that God often accomplishes through marriage.
- 7:59Mark: You see, one of the mistakes we can make is thinking that a good marriage is one in which two people naturally agree about everything.
- 8:06Mark: But that's not the reality.
- 8:08Mark: God brings together two different people, and those differences have a way of revealing things about us.
- 8:15Mark: If we're honest, marriage can expose selfishness, impatience, pride.
- 8:20Mark: It can expose our desire to have things our way.
- 8:23Mark: As a matter of fact, I think it would be safe to say that in that sense, marriage becomes one of God's tools used for sanctification in our lives.
- 8:34Mark: It's through marriage that we learn to serve and to sacrifice.
- 8:37Mark: We learn to listen and to forgive and to put another person's needs ahead of our own.
- 8:42Mark: And sometimes the very differences that frustrate us are the very things that God can use to shape us.
- 8:48Mark: Because, see, the goal isn't simply to make my spouse more like myself.
- 8:52Mark: The goal is that both the husband and the wife become more like Christ.
- 8:57Mark: And so Jesus brings his answer to this great conclusion in verse number six.
- 9:03Mark: He says these words, Wherefore they are no more twained but one flesh.
- 9:08Mark: What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
- 9:11Mark: I think it's important we notice these words, what God hath joined together.
- 9:15Mark: This gives marriage its weight.
- 9:18Mark: You see, Jesus is not describing marriage simply as two people that want to spend their lives together.
- 9:24Mark: He brings God into the picture.
- 9:26Mark: It's God that joins and establishes, it's God that designed the covenant, and therefore Jesus says, Don't let any man put asunder.
- 9:34Mark: Now let's go back and remember where this conversation started.
- 9:38Mark: It was the Pharisees asking, When can we divorce?
- 9:42Mark: And Jesus responds, Well, have you actually even thought about what marriage really is?
- 9:48Mark: That is a completely different way of approaching the subject.
- 9:51Mark: The Pharisees are asking, When can we divorce?
- 9:54Mark: And Jesus responds, Have you considered what marriage actually is?
- 9:59Mark: Now that's a completely different way of approaching the subject.
- 10:02Mark: You see, the Pharisees were looking for an exit, and Jesus was pointing them toward God's intention.
- 10:08Mark: They were asking about exceptions, but Jesus was reminding them of the ideal.
- 10:13Mark: You know, at the end of the day, they wanted to know how far they could go without violating the law.
- 10:17Mark: And Jesus wanted them to understand the very heart of God.
- 10:21Mark: And I think that this might be a principle we need in far more areas of our life.
- 10:26Mark: Sometimes we ask questions like, well, how far can I go?
- 10:29Mark: Or is this technically wrong?
- 10:31Mark: Or what's the minimum that God requires?
- 10:34Mark: But perhaps the better question is, what did God intend?
- 10:38Mark: Because that's a very question that Jesus brings us back to.
- 10:42Mark: Now, it's worth recognizing that Jesus isn't pretending that marriage is easy.
- 10:47Mark: If anything, the fact that marriage involves two sinners becoming one flesh means difficulty should not surprise us.
- 10:54Mark: There will be disagreements and disappointments.
- 10:57Mark: There will be moments when one person hurts the other.
- 11:00Mark: There will be seasons that require patience and grace, humility and forgiveness.
- 11:05Mark: And the scripture does address the painful realities of divorce and broken marriages.
- 11:10Mark: Jesus himself will continue that discussion in the verses that follow, and we'll look at it later.
- 11:15Mark: But before we can talk about the exceptions, Jesus wants us to understand the rule.
- 11:20Mark: Before we discuss broken marriage, we need to understand God's design for marriage.
- 11:24Mark: And the reality is his design is beautifully simple.
- 11:28Mark: A man leaves his father and mother.
- 11:30Mark: He cleaves to his wife.
- 11:31Mark: The two become one flesh.
- 11:33Mark: And what God joins together, no one should casually tear apart.
- 11:37Mark: You see, marriage is worth protecting.
- 11:39Mark: It's worth working for, it's worth humbling ourselves for, forgiving one another for, it's worth praying for.
- 11:46Mark: Because in the end, marriage is not merely something we created, it's something that God designed.
- 11:52Mark: So perhaps the question we should walk away today with isn't merely what does Jesus teach about divorce?
- 11:59Mark: But maybe the more immediate question should be, how am I honoring God's design for marriage?
- 12:04Mark: If you are married, are you treating your marriage as if it's something sacred before God?
- 12:09Mark: Are you still cleaving?
- 12:11Mark: Are you building oneness with your spouse?
- 12:14Mark: Are you serving them and listening and forgiving?
- 12:17Mark: Are you allowing God to use your marriage to make you more like Christ?
- 12:21Mark: And perhaps maybe you're listening and you're unmarried.
- 12:25Mark: This passage should still shape the way that you think about marriage.
- 12:29Mark: Don't let culture define marriage for you.
- 12:32Mark: Don't let entertainment define it or even your own desires.
- 12:35Mark: Let the one who created marriage tell you what marriage is.
- 12:39Mark: Because Jesus takes us back to the beginning.
- 12:42Mark: And at the beginning, we discover that marriage is not ultimately about convenience, it's about covenant.
- 12:48Mark: It's not merely about happiness, but holiness, not independence, but oneness.
- 12:53Mark: You see, marriage is not just two people choosing one another, but recognizing the seriousness of what God has joined together.
- 13:01Mark: So as we wrap up this section, I want us to return to Jesus' words we find in Matthew chapter 19, verse 6.
- 13:08Mark: Jesus says, Wherefore they are no more twain but one flesh.
- 13:13Mark: What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
- 13:16Mark: You see, the Pharisees came looking for a loophole, and Jesus gave them a vision.
- 13:21Mark: They wanted to debate divorce, and Jesus reminded them of the design for marriage.
- 13:27Mark: And sometimes I think we need the same reminder.
- 13:30Mark: Instead of beginning with everything that has gone wrong, it would do us well to go back to what God intended, to go back to his word, to look back to his original design, and then ask him for the grace to live faithfully within it.
- 13:45Mark: Because the God who designed marriage is the God who gives grace, wisdom, humility, patience, and forgiveness that's necessary to honor him within our marriage.
- 13:56Mark: Friend, I want to say thank you for joining me today for the Gospel Explorations.
- 14:01Mark: Can I challenge you to take some time this week and read Matthew 19, verses 1 through 6 again and consider Jesus' words and what they teach us about God's purpose for marriage?
- 14:11Mark: And as always, don't stop there.
- 14:13Mark: Keep opening up God's word and asking questions and seeking Christ.
- 14:17Mark: And if you want to dive further into this discussion, be sure to check out the show notes for more discussion and reflection questions.
- 14:24Mark: Until next time, friends, grace and peace.
- 14:28Mark: Thanks for listening.
- 14:30Mark: I hope that you've been both encouraged and challenged today.
- 14:33Mark: If you want to connect with us further, please be sure to check us out on the web at gospelexplorations.com.
- 14:39Mark: We look forward to having you join us again next time.