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Whackhead Prank: To snip or not to snip? · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Exclusive to KFM Mornings.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: All Right, gents, gents, are you ready to go? Oh, Romie,
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: you're going to feel it, produce a brand, You're going
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: to feel it.
• 0:12
  Speaker 3: Oh no, Okay.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: So there comes a time in every relationship, usually happens
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: in about mid forties when Wafi says to husband, Hey, listen,
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: it's time we start shifting responsibility. I'm not taking any
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: contraception anymore.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: I've saved my part.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: You going for the snip? Yeah, you're going for the snip.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: I've done a snip prank before. There's a lot of
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: snips happening. Okay. Do you remember when they try to
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: invent the male contraceptive poll?
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: I can't believe do we still? What have one? I
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: think that you who shut that down?
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: But I think the uptake? Look, would you trust us?
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: Look? I mean would you would you know?
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: Question?
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: I'm telling you.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: You don't get us fired up now today? Way?
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: Okay, Bread? Tell me? Am I wrong? Am I right?
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: It would be like it would be like this, Okay, Bread,
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: you're in the milk contracepted?
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I am okay. Listen, I missed mine today?
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: Can I take to tomorrow?
• 1:36
  Speaker 4: Bro?
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: Can I like take to tomorrow.
• 1:38
  Speaker 4: Bro.
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: Huh? Or can you imagine how many.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: Of the pills would go through the washing in our
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: geen pants? Can you imagine the population would be twenty
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: five billion.
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: If it was up to us?
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: You're playing games? Yeah, then you're not serious about your
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: own life. It's not one of those things where you're like,
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: I forgot.
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: If you forget a new human comes along, I would
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: be to forget.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: It would be like, hey, bra, you know what like
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: like a better to take polls? Like can I mix
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: it in my protein shake?
• 2:20
  Speaker 4: Bro?
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: I just put it in my protein shake. Bro, there
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: you go. I've got my my my pull.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: You have very little faith in your in your cohort, Darren.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: I would I know. I wouldn't remember. I can't even
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: remember to take my hair tablets.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: And you definitely don't want a third child.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: Why I see this as if I lose my hair,
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: I'm definitely not getting a third child. So they are
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: mutually exclusive. Okay, back to oh you're.
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: Ready to feel it?
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: So someone's getting the snip.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so they've had the conversation and now shameless Oak
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: is so nervous plucks so like never had surgery, but
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: now it's there and it's even more scary.
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: Right, So it's like one of.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: The safest, most efficient.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: They do it surgeries ten minutes with your eyes open.
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: You know. A made to mine had done and he
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: was like, I want to watch.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not reversible.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: I think it is, but it's not always will work
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: once it's reverse. Yeah, So there we are. Okay, Okay,
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: so there we are. So he's very nervous. So Wifey's like,
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: just make him even more scared. You know, she's had
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: to remember for like twenty five years this stuff. It's time.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: He feels a bit of pain too. Okay, I love it.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: So it's ma'am, you've come to the right place.
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: So I've got all the details. The doctors Alice, Here
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: we go. Hello, I'm looking for mister Herrad van Veig,
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: please speaking. It's Dr Eastia from medi Clinic. Your wife
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: has made an appointment. Yes, okay, I'm the urologist chair
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: for a ver sectomy. Yes, Monday eleven. I have an
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: opening at about four thirty as well.
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: Are you there?
• 4:25
  Speaker 4: Yes, some years I'm listening. So Monday eleven o'clock i'll
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: have it back to you and just concern you.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: You sound nervous, are you?
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: Uh? Obviously yours? But uh yeah, I understand what the
• 4:50
  Speaker 4: problem that is done.
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: Well, let me tell you it's a it's a very
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: very simple procedure. There's there's nothing to worry about.
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: You, Okay, right forward? Would they book me into hospital
• 5:04
  Speaker 4: or do they do it in the in the rooms?
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: Do it in the rooms?
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: Look what I need to explain, and this is why
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: I needed to chat to you because modern procedures, what
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: has happened in the past where there has been a
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: chance of erectile dysfunction after the operation?
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: I mean we're talking in like two percent, okay, two percent?
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: So okay, So what we do to totally eliminate that
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: two percent is we have stopped using local anesthetic.
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: What we found through the research is that this injection
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: is what has been the cause of the permanent erectile dysfunction.
• 6:00
  Speaker 4: Okay, okay, So what's my option? So what you're basically
• 6:06
  Speaker 4: telling me, I'm gonna lie and you're gonna cut without
• 6:11
  Speaker 4: any oh my word, and there's no other choice by
• 6:20
  Speaker 4: joining the other ninety eight percent.
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: We haven't got to the stage yet where we can
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: eliminate if it's certain blood groups. If it's people with
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: pre existing conditions, we haven't got that far with medicine yet,
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: so it's a case of risking impotence or bearing with
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: a little bit of pain.
• 6:40
  Speaker 4: I'll definitely take the pain.
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: You'll take the pain.
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: I'll take the pain. But yeah, okay, it's my word.
• 6:53
  Speaker 4: It's quite is. There no option of maybe going in
• 6:59
  Speaker 4: hospital and they put you to sheep and then you do.
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: Not for this procedure.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: You can have the anesthetic, but there is that risk
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: and it's my job as a doctor to inform you
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: of that risk because if you on the other side
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: of the operation are impotent, then I haven't done my job.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: I could have maybe ruined your life, you understand.
• 7:23
  Speaker 4: That's fine, like I said, or rather be with the
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: same and go through with it.
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: Let me explain the procedure to you, just to put
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: your mind at ease.
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: It's a small incision.
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: It's about four centimeters four centimeters. We need working space
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: in there. We tie off your obstresa and it's right
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: at the inside, at the back of the testicular gland.
• 7:56
  Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, and then off to it's there's no chance
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: of any Olympic Summer's coming suit.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: What has to.
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: Happen then, is you need to abstain for six months.
• 8:11
  Speaker 5: Six month, So I had to go through this procedure
• 8:23
  Speaker 5: without any anesthetics or anything for six months.
• 8:28
  Speaker 4: H Yeah is long.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: It has to heal one hundred properly, otherwise it could
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: mess up the entire procedure.
• 8:37
  Speaker 4: Okay, so yeah, uh we'll have to do it. Yeah.
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: I think I should then take the appointment of for
• 8:50
  Speaker 4: city on Monday. But I didn't think of it, and
• 8:59
  Speaker 4: this six months, and uh god, I'm quite shock. That's
• 9:06
  Speaker 4: what I have to do. Just take me get this straight.
• 9:08
  Speaker 4: You're gonna cut the open without any injections. Then you're
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: gonna tie off and what are you going to inject food?
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: I will inject the left testy. We're going about two
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: centimeters and then we've got to get to the back
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: of that left testy and we tie off the tube
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: that's the main supplier into that testy.
• 9:34
  Speaker 4: Where my mouth is quite dry now, But in any case,
• 9:39
  Speaker 4: was it just a gross Okay you are doctor, doctor East. Okay,
• 9:49
  Speaker 4: Now I'll get back to you before the end today.
• 9:52
  Speaker 6: Vague shut out, Yes, yes, tends right now, I can
• 10:02
  Speaker 6: I can, Yeah.
• 10:06
  Speaker 5: M.
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: I need we see doctorate and acabao, I just a
• 10:16
  Speaker 4: dialect from feel yeah, looks nice, sooner and spikings in
• 10:25
  Speaker 4: your Lincoln physical and spike in done. Doctor took work
• 10:30
  Speaker 4: in the moondo Alfie. I didn't details a dialect that
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: you see see looks nice, yeahs mander, vivid, flood, fighting
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: back any on your robe and I SnO he fully
• 10:56
  Speaker 4: qualified me? I snow a registrars, I.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: Snore about.
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: Huh yo, no ways. Then the actual boch you're gonna
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: TV show my surely follow me? Donkey that happens?
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, Hello, It's it's Doctor East UK for Monday
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: four thirty.
• 11:24
  Speaker 4: Monday four seventy. But how did you get on the.
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: Line now, I don't know.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: I was just trying to call your number and I
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: heard a conversation.
• 11:30
  Speaker 4: Going, okay, there's a couple of confidents that I have.
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: Well, what what are your concerns?
• 11:38
  Speaker 4: Don't something about your qualifications and not completely qualified?
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: I'm still a registrar and maybe yeah, well we we've
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: got to learn somewhere.
• 11:49
  Speaker 4: If you're not a practice on me, that's for sure.
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: This would have been my first operation so meanly mm hmmm,
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: it's it's my first one, so I'm quite excited.
• 12:04
  Speaker 4: Your first one you mostly joking, my friend. That's my
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: private When you wait, no way, we'll look for another.
• 12:17
  Speaker 4: Your sister.
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: When I was practicing, I did it on a pig
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: and there was nothing wrong. There was on a pig
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: and it was perfect. Just wacked Simpson.
• 12:30
  Speaker 4: Hey man, you got me, get.
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: My brother. You're sweating bullets.
• 12:43
  Speaker 4: Your ungula chante.
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: I love that laugh.