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Empowered to Excel: Our Post-Summit Chat · Chatting with The Experts with Paula Okonneh

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Hello everyone and welcome to Chatting with the Experts TV show where I, Paula
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the host, Paula Okonneh, speak with incredibly dynamic women from Africa,
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from the Caribbean, and in the diaspora.
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And they share with me a mission to educate, empower,
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and inspire women globally.
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Today's show is a little different in that for those of you who weren't aware
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of this, on Friday, the May 30th and Saturday May 31st, I had a summit called
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Empower to Excel Virtual Summit, and I had such great feedback from people
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who, the attendees, in other words, who joined that today I was given
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everyone an opportunity to come and get to know these dynamic women even more.
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And so that's why we are here.
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So what I will do is ask these dynamic women to give their own introduction
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rather than me introduce them and just to say what their name, what
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they do, and in addition to that, where they are presently based.
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All right.
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So to make it easier, I'm just gonna look at the screen and
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I'm gonna go from my right.
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And the first person on my right is Dr. Stella Iwuagwu And so, Dr. Stella,
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do you mind introducing yourself?
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Hi, good afternoon.
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I'm Dr. Stella Iwuagwu.
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I am a nurse midwife.
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I'm public health professional.
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I am also a farmer and a social entrepreneur.
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I promote food as medicine.
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I produce herbs and food and package them.
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I am currently in Cleveland, but I shuttle between Abuja,
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Nigeria and Cleveland, Ohio.
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Thank you, Dr. Stella for joining us today.
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And now again, going from my left to my right, Suzan Hart, would you mind
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telling everyone here who you are?
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For sure.
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Good afternoon everyone.
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My name is Suzan Hart.
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I hail from Ontario, Canada, so Ottawa area.
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I'm known as the Mindset Mastery Mentor.
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I work at the intersection between leadership and mindset,
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so I look at something called Mindset Driven Leadership.
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And I look at exploring how the stories we tell ourself impact our
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capacity to lead and create the outcomes we desire in the world.
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So it's a lot of work on self-reflection, self-leadership, self-empowerment.
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I believe that leadership is 20% skills and 80% mindset,
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and emotional intelligence.
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And we don't do much work on the 80%.
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And that's where I love to hang out.
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So that is me.
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I'm originally from Trinidad since we're talking about, you know, where in the
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diaspora where originated from, but grew up just outside of Montreal, Canada.
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Thank you so much Suzan, and thanks for coming back on after being
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so such an incredible speaker.
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And opening for us on Friday.
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Thank you.
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And now to my right, going from left to right is Sandy.
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Sandy Arnette, do you mind introducing yourself and saying, you know,
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what you do and where you are?
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Oh, wait.
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And where you're from in the diaspora.
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Sure.
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Welcome everyone.
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It's good to meet everyone and thank you Paula.
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She's always so gracious to invite women together who are like-minded and
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trying to accomplish some great things.
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I'm Sandy Arnette.
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I'm president of Arnette Media Strategies.
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That is a public relations consulting firm.
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I'm based in Maryland, over 30 years of experience in public relations,
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and I love working with clients.
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Helping them develop their story, develop their message, get the
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word out about what they do.
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A lot of folks are doing great things out there, and I try to help them
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communicate that by giving, you know, getting them placed on TV and radio,
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maybe articles, or thought leadership content in some of the print publications.
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And of course, we always reach out to our online platforms like, Paula's
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podcast, so we work there as well.
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So it's like I said, I'm in Maryland.
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It's something I've been doing a long time and I have a passion for.
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So it's very nice to meet each and every one of you.
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Thank you so much, Sandy.
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Again, welcome, welcome, welcome.
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And I know you always have something great to share.
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Even when we meet one-on-one, I always learn something new from you.
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So thank you.
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And continuing from left to right, Dr. Ayo Adenuga.
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Welcome.
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Thank you.
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Thank you so much for having me today.
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So this is Ayo Adenuga.
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I'm a Clinician, public Health Consultant.
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I'm the founder of IA Impact Consulting and Life 360 program.
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A lot of middle managers or executive leaders experience a lot of burnout.
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They also struggle with communications and going to the next level, some with ageism.
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Many of them have children that are either teenagers or young adults.
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And so the struggle between being present and excluding executive
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presence at work, going to the next level and having a life of impact.
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So what I do it's inspire and to equip emerging leaders, middle managers, and
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executive leaders to own their voice.
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I inspire and equip them to be able to lead with clarity, communicate
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with confidence, and actually lead to achieve a life of impact both in
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their homes and also at the office.
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And I'm here to solve that problem to really work with people that
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are purpose driven, that want to really live a life of legacy.
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So this is Ayo Adenuga again.
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I'm really happy to be here and to work with people.
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I live in Maryland and I'm happy to hear that Sandy also stays in Maryland.
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Nice to meet you here.
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And so thank you everybody.
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Yeah.
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Dr. Ayo.
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I didn't know you lived in Maryland.
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I thought you lived in Pennsylvania.
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No, you are.
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You're muted.
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No, it's Nma that stay in Pennsylvania.
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I stay in Maryland.
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Yeah.
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Okay.
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See, I said one of the things I say is I learn something new every day.
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So this is something new that I've learned today.
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Alright, so I gotta meet up with you.
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I didn't know you were here in Maryland.
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Yes, yes.
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We should connect.
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Yes, absolutely.
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Oh my gosh.
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Alright.
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And so for those who joined Sola and Constance, today's
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meeting is all different.
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So, i'm not sure how many, well, I know Constant was at the summit, but Sola, I
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don't think you joined us on that day.
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So what we were doing today was that a lot of people had expressed
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interest in reconnecting or having an opportunity to speak even a little
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bit more with the dynamic speakers that we had on friday and Saturday.
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That's May 30th and 31st.
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And I didn't have a chance to really prepare or invite my other guests...
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normally I have a brand new guest.
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So I thought, okay, well what we can do is bring some of the speakers back on if
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it's convenient for them, so that those who expressed wanting to have a one-on-one
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with them would be able to do that.
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Like life sometimes happens.
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The link that went out is wrong today.
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And so we don't have many people who are able to join, but we
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have Sola and we have Constance.
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So what we are doing is asking everyone who joins to just say who they are,
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what they do, and what part of the world they are in, and if they'd like to also
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share where they're originally from, because not everybody is from Maryland.
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I'm from Maryland.
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People are from other places.
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Sola, would you like to, I'm going from my left to my right.
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Would you like to unmute and introduce yourself, please?
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Sola Williams.
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I'm from Beinin, Edo State.
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I live in South Carolina and I'm retired.
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You're retired.
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Congratulations.
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Thank you so much, Sola, for joining us today, all the way from South Carolina.
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Woo-hoo.
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And Constance, would you mind unmuting and letting everyone know where you're from?
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Hi everyone.
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It's good to see some of your faces again from the summit.
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I really enjoyed it and I've reached out and talked with a couple of
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you, so I'm looking forward to following up with each of you.
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But I'm Constance Howard.
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I currently live in Waldorf, Maryland, which is everybody knows where a
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national harbor is in the MGM studio.
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So I'm not far from there, but I'm originally from upstate New York.
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Originally from upstate New York.
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And you're also in Maryland?
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Mm-hmm.
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So there, five of us here from Maryland.
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We're dominating today.
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Huh?
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There you go.
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Alrighty.
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So, as I mentioned, this is not the normal, or this is a different show today.
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It's not the normal one that where I spotlight a speaker.
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So the format will be, I'm actually going to have an open format so that, you
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know, we get to know each other, we get questions from Sola, and Constance are the
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only two who weren't speakers that day.
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And then we can ask each other questions, if you don't mind.
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So, without much ado, who would like to go first?
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I mean, Constance, I know normally has questions to ask.
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And she said she didn't get to speak with everybody.
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So, Constance, do you have a question for any of these speakers here?
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Because as I said, it's just kind of open mic today, for want of a better word.
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I think my question, all of you entrepreneurs in some sense, how do
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you keep your mindset from wandering to what isn't real, which is maybe a
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lack of client, a lack of business?
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Okay.
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To, you know, what's real and how do you, I'm sorry.
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Keep your mind on your passion.
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Hmm.
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Great question.
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I can start and, Suzan and others can put that in.
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So, what have discovered is for entrepreneurs.
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You need to one, be clear on what your goals are and what your passion
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is and what you really want to do.
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Now passion is what you really love to do.
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Talent is what you know how to do, right?
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But your purpose is what you need to be doing, and you have to know
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what your purpose is, which is an intersection of those three things.
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You know, you love to do it even if you're not paid for it.
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You're doing it, you're passionate about it, you can do it.
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And then you know that you have a goal to improve the lives
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of people out there, right?
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The other thing is people are focused on the outputs, how many likes did I get?
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How much money was I paid rather than the inputs?
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What am I doing to reach out to the people that are my avatar?
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Right?
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And that is real.
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You can control that.
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You can control how many podcasts you do.
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You can control how many people reach out to, you can control, I mean, you can
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control what your outputs or your input into your business, which is real, right?
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Versus what might not be real.
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Sometimes even on social media, some people look through what you post,
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but they didn't give a like, right?
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Some people they got impacted by your message or your services or your product,
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but they never reach back to you.
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So entrepreneurs focusing on the input is so important, and having a system
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in place is also super important because when you don't have a scheduled
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time, you find out that you do things when you really feel like doing it.
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It's not where you feel like doing it.
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You do it because you have to do it, right?
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You have a schedule, you keep to it, and you move on.
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The third thing that helps most entrepreneurs is you can't do it alone.
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You can't do it alone.
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You have to seek somebody to either help you so I can focus on what
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you really know how to do best.
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Like if you are creating content, great content.
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I find out that what makes me slower is editing my videos
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or doing all those thumbnails.
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It takes me time.
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I want to make it perfect and all, but now I got a solution.
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I got somebody to just edit it, or sometimes I produce it and I push it.
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I push it out without being stalking, I have to make it perfect.
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So those are the things that I would give out to you.
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And really having a structure in place is so super important in
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making sure that you keep it real.
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So, that is my first branch.
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Others can contribute because there's limited time.
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Yeah.
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Mm-hmm.
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I'm happy to jump in.
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I think, you know, your points are excellent and I know with
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starting my business, it really was linked to my passion and
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what I felt I was good at doing.
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I had been doing public relations many, many years, had been doing
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it for free for a lot of people.
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And then someone said, you could do this as a business, you know,
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why don't you start a business?
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And I started giving it some serious thought.
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But I think with it being my passion, I really just love when you can get that big
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media hit and just to see a client just light up, you know, because their story
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is out there, their message is out there.
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So that's it for me.
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I mean, it's just like, and then just because the media landscape is
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constantly changing, you're trying to, you know, keep up with everything.
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You're trying to keep those relationships.
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Like I was at an event yesterday evening, a reporter from one of the major papers in
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our area just wrote a book and, you know, they had a little invitation reception.
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So I went out and supported it, but that was my time to spend time with that
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reporter and other reporters at that paper, the managing editor, the publisher,
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and just build those relationships.
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So they'll say, you know, I remember you sent something to me today
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we're gonna look at to see how we can get this covered for you.
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So it's just the relationships that you build and then the results
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that you drive for your clients.
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But it has to be something that you enjoyed doing?
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I started my business part-time, so I was still working, committing a lot of
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time early in the morning, at lunchtime, in the evenings and on the weekends.
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But if it's your thing, you don't mind doing that.
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But it has to be, you know, you have to have passion.
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'cause then you'll give the time and the energy that it deserves.
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That's my thought.
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Great, great addition, I think I'll jump out and add to what these two, beautiful
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women have already put in the space.
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And Constance, you said two things that are really intriguing.
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You said how do you manage your mindset and how do you keep yourself
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from having those doubts and knowing what's real and what's not?
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And I think that's a really key question.
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And I always refer to the my mindset as the stories I tell myself about what is.
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And half the time my stories aren't real.
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They are what I made up because when the mind doesn't have an
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answer, it just makes stuff up.
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So for me, the first thing is what is the conversation I'm having with myself
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and can I interrupt that conversation and replace it with something that serves me?
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The place I go to is that, I have this belief that everything is
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happening for my greater good.
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So if something is not happening right now, it's either not my
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time or there's a place I have to grow, expand, or become more to be
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prepared for what is in store for me.
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I truly believe that what's mine is already mine and that what's standing
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in the way of what's mine is my transformation, my growth, my expansion.
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So I'm always like, what is it that I need to learn?
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What is it that, how do I need to grow?
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How do I need to expand to become the person that can achieve the thing I want?
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That's the first thing I'll say to you.
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I think the second thing is someone said that our emotions like feeling
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like doing something and actually doing something is two very different things.
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And one of the things you'll learn, I've learned as I've gone on this journey is a
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lot of times I don't feel like doing it.
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So I'm a big person with rituals and routines.
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What are the rituals and routines that I can consistently and
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persistently put in place that actually take me out of my emotions
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so that I can get up and get to it?
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Because I know what I'm supposed to do every day.
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So I plan my day, the day and night before I commit to what I'm gonna do.
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And my number one value is integrity.
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I'm gonna do what I say I'm gonna do, whether I feel like doing it or not.
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And I play this game called The Integrity Game with myself.
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And am I in integrity at the end of the day?
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And I celebrate that.
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So it's about what's your rituals and routines that hold
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you to your word, even when your emotions are saying, don't do it.
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Do something else.
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All those things.
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And the third thing I will say to you is, it's called the Gap in the Game,
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and it's actually a great book, but I think we can have a gap mentality
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or we can have a gain mentality.
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So the gap mentality is we look down the road and we say, oh, look at all
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the things that haven't happened yet.
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Look at all that I haven't accomplished all these different things.
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And that is discouraging when we could actually have a gain mentality and a
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gain mentality in my mind is like I turn around and I go, look how far I've come.
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And look at all that I've learned and look at how much I've grown and now
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I'm going to use that knowledge to propel me forward to the next place.
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And I think entrepreneur is just a personal development journey.
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Like it's constant.
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And so we're either growing or expanding or we're shrinking and dying.
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And I think when you hit that gap or that struggle, it's because you're at
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the end of who you know yourself to be.
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And it's just a let's grow to the next step.
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Let's grow to the next thing.
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I hope that...
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I'm loving these answers.
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Thank you.
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All right.
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Okay.
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Okay.
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So Nma, who just joined?
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As you know, Nma, this is a episode that's a little different from my normal one.
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In that, I got such positive response from the attendees at the summit, and they
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asked if they could have an opportunity to kind of do an after party with the
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incredible dynamic speakers that I had on.
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And so I asked all speakers if they could join us today, and some of
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course, because it was last minute were able to join us and some weren't.
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But because apparently I had a technical hitch in which the link that went out
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today was incorrect, we don't have as many people who attended, here with us today.
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So what we will do is we can talk about ourselves.
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We have two people Sola and Constance, who weren't speakers.
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And so we opened up the floor to anyone who has questions for all of us here.
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And, Constance just asked a question, which Dr. Ayo, Sandy and Suzan
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just so professionally answered.
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So, Nma was a speaker and what I would ask for you to do right now, Nma, is
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introduce yourself if you don't mind, and then, Constance or Sola, any one of us can
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still ask you questions as it comes up.
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So over to Nma.
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You are muted.
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Yeah, sorry, I was trying to find the mute button on my phone.
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I apologize.
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So, my name is Nma Emeh and I am a body image confidence speaker and coach.
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Prior to this, I worked in corporate for over 15 years in finance and
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operations, and I'm excited to be here.
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For those who weren't there on Saturday, my topic was on being Clothed
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in Strength and Anchored in Truth.
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And basically I talked about how fitness, posture and public speaking reflect the
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spirit of a woman rooted in God's word.
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So, lots of tips there on what that looks like in, when you take care of
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your body, when you are mindful of the way you enter a room, literally,
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physically, and then also just your overall persona and what you bring
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when you show up, and how you interact with people, how you speak to them.
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So yes.
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Awesome.
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Two questions I didn't ask you to share with the audience
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is like, where are you from?
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Where do you live and where are you originally from?
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Oh, I live in the suburbs of Philadelphia.
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We moved here about two years ago from Las Vegas, which is my
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happy place, believe it or not.
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I know, but Las Vegas has a bad name, but it was where we live.
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I loved it.
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It was so much fun and very wholesome place called Summerlin.
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And where am I from originally?
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Nigeria from Abia State, the East.
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Okay.
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Welcome, welcome.
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Thank you.
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And Turiya, you didn't have a chance to let Sola and but Constance and
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the rest of us know about you please.
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Yes.
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Great afternoon everyone.
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Actually, I've had the opportunity to have a call with Constance, you
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know, since, yeah, since the summit.
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So, and I got on to her invitation for Angela Durant the other night.
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So, Constance, thank you for being the giver that you are and
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sharing that opportunity with me to jump on and join that webinar.
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And so everyone, I'm Turiya Hodge, social media strategist and what I do
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is help coaches and consultants, shine by getting their authentic message into
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the marketplace so they can attract what I like to call their divine clients.
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And so I have to say ladies, I am honored.
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And I am humbled to be a part of the platform with such amazing,
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oh my gosh, amazing women.
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The information, the insights, the expertise that you ladies shared on
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the summit was just absolutely amazing.
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I wanted to, as you were speaking, Nma, I hope I'm pronouncing it correctly.
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One of the things that stood out for me is what you said on the summit.
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You talked about your preparing your body for where you're going.
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You know, and that especially hit home, you know, for me, because I remember
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the time I had the opportunity to attend an event and I was sitting in the front
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row and the speaker was on the stage and she was actually laboring to present.
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Mm-hmm.
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And right then I made a decision.
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I was like, oh my gosh, right?
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I do not want that to be me.
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And so as I listened to your presentation on Saturday, it was such a great reminder
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that to take care of the vessel, we have to be steward's of the vessel because
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if the vessel is not taken care of, then we can't do what we're purpose to do.
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So thank you so much for sharing that as well.
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Aw, thank you so much.
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Appreciate you sharing that and I'm so glad it resonated.
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That's good to know.
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But yes, one of those people that truly believes in preparing before
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you get to where you are trying to go, you need to look and act the part.
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Yes.
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Back to what, Ms. Suzan said about the mindset because there's just
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something about preparing your mind for where you're going that kinda
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gives you that boost of motivation to keep at it, even on those tough days.
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So something that I try to do, even though most of my work I do at home,
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I try and dress the part, like have a blazer on, keeps me in the right
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mindset, keeps me professional, and also reminds me that this is a job.
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It may not be in the highrise building I was in before, but one day I might
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just own the highrise building.
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There you go.
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If I just keep going, so yes.
24:36
Thank you so much for seeing that Turiya.
24:39
Awesome.
24:39
Yeah it was such an amazing summit.
24:41
I really enjoyed, and like I said, I am honored to, you know, just be able to
24:46
work alongside Paula to make it happen.
24:49
Grateful to have the opportunity to share my knowledge and my expertise as well.
24:53
So amazing.
24:56
All right.
24:57
So Sola you, unfortunately, were not able to attend the
25:01
summit on Friday and Saturday.
25:03
I wanna give you an opportunity to ask any question that if you had
25:07
attended, you might have wanted to ask.
25:11
Am I putting you on the spot?
25:13
I don't have any questions.
25:16
Just listening.
25:17
Just listening is enough.
25:19
I know one of the things is what Nma was talking about, which is
25:23
being physically ready, you know?
25:26
As far as your body and your mind and your spirit, that's
25:29
something that I struggle with.
25:31
I hate exercise with a passion.
25:34
And, what I would want to know is, you know, how do you get motivated?
25:38
You know, I place memberships with these exercise places and stuff,
25:44
and I might go one or two times and, you know, my money's just wasted.
25:49
But physically I feel it.
25:51
And if I don't get on the bandwagon with getting my body physically
25:55
fit, you know, I'm gonna quickly go down, you know, go down hill.
26:01
So, what I wanted to find out is how do you motivate yourself, you know, when it
26:07
comes to getting that body fit, you know?
26:11
Wanting to do exercises and things, you know, that will
26:16
prepare you mind, body, and spirit.
26:24
So, Nma, I think that question is directed towards you.
26:29
Yeah.
26:30
Thank you.
26:30
Thank you, Sola.
26:31
That's a very good question, and just so you know, you're not alone.
26:35
A lot of us struggle with it, myself included.
26:38
But you know, what has worked for me is, yes, I signed up for so many gyms.
26:43
And like you, I would start off hardcore, be there every day, and
26:49
then one week later, two weeks later, it's like I cut down to
26:53
three days, to two days, then zero.
26:57
But what I have told myself, and again, I go back to what Ms. Hart
27:01
said earlier was that you gotta start... for me, I start small.
27:07
I set goals for myself every day, and right now as I'm speaking to you, I
27:12
have a TRX suspension ban on the door.
27:17
And I try and do something every day.
27:20
I don't try and say, I'm gonna run a mile today 'cause that's not gonna work.
27:25
But I challenge myself to do something physically and some for
27:29
more physical exercise for myself every single day because it's not
27:34
just about getting my physical body in shape is also about my mindset.
27:39
There's something about walking outside in the sun on a nice day, that resets
27:45
your mind and puts you in a much better mood than you would've been.
27:51
So it's again, just moving away from the physical benefits of weight loss or
27:58
exercising to the wholesome benefit, as in it improves your mindset, your perspective
28:04
on life, just giving you fresh air.
28:08
It breaks up the monotony of sitting in my office for eight hours.
28:12
It gives me a chance to go and appreciate God's creation and discover
28:16
new things on our property that I would normally ignore, you know?
28:22
But in doing that, I'm getting in my steps and if I get to 10,000 steps, great.
28:27
If I don't, at least my mindset is in a better place and
28:31
I'm not snapping at my kids.
28:33
So I think my point is don't put too much pressure on yourself.
28:38
What is the least amount of thing you can do each day?
28:42
Is it just to walk outside for 10 minutes or on, and another thing I do now is.
28:49
There are certain friends I know when I call them, their calls are gonna be long.
28:53
So grab my phone, earpiece, go outside, be walking around as I'm talking to them.
28:59
Or if it's one of my sisters, I get in 10,000 steps, but I also
29:03
build a closer connection with this friend or with this sister or
29:08
brother who needs me at that moment.
29:10
So there, so my point is don't put pressure on yourself, Sola.
29:14
Start with something small and something is better than nothing.
29:19
It was, what's her name?
29:21
Priscilla Shirer's sister that said that, I've forgotten her name.
29:24
Anyway, she said something is better than nothing, so just
29:28
start with something every day.
29:30
And you, you build toward, you build it up over time.
29:35
I hope that helps.
29:36
Yes, thank you.
29:38
I'm literally looking down at your picture.
29:39
If it looks like I'm looking, I'm looking at your picture.
29:44
Alright.
29:46
You know, I was curious too, what did they say?
29:48
How many days, once you're doing something, it starts a habit, like you
29:51
then get in the pattern of doing it.
29:54
Is it like... what was it, 16 days or, I can't remember what it was...
29:59
21.
30:00
They said Yeah,
30:00
21. Yeah.
30:02
Oh, I heard 30, but, okay.
30:04
I'll take 21 days.
30:08
Can I add something from a mindset perspective that might help Sola?
30:13
Yes.
30:14
So one is I think the big question is why.
30:19
Why are you wanting to exercise?
30:22
Like, what's the driver behind that?
30:24
And oftentimes we think, well, I need to get in shape.
30:27
But that's not exciting really.
30:29
And that's not really the why.
30:31
So if you extrapolate out and ask yourself, I have a vision for my life.
30:37
Who am I required to be physically, emotionally, spiritually,
30:41
to hold that vision and participate fully in that vision?
30:45
What's probably gonna happen is your why is gonna be a little different.
30:49
So it might be I wanna be able to roll around on the ground
30:52
and chase my grandchildren.
30:54
I wanna be able to... I want to be able to ballroom dance when
30:58
I'm like 70 and 80 years old.
31:00
That's, I don't know.
31:01
I have that perception in my head with some fine looking man.
31:05
That's one of my drivers.
31:06
I have things in my life I want to do and my health is a foundation for that.
31:11
So first thing I'd say is anchor it in a why.
31:14
Mm-hmm.
31:15
That is worthy of your life and getting you up and doing something I've seen.
31:19
The second thing is, I think it really is helpful to redefine what this
31:25
thing called health and wellness is.
31:26
So when I work with my clients, I say it's an expression of your self-love.
31:31
Mm-hmm.
31:33
Your self-respect and your self-care.
31:37
And the reason I say that is because we're so conditioned that health is about fixing
31:41
something that's broken or not working.
31:43
Mm-hmm.
31:44
We're perfect exactly the way we are.
31:47
The question is how well do we take care of who we are
31:52
and what we are in the world.
31:54
So when you take care of your health and you go outside and you
31:56
walk for five minutes, take a deep breath, stretch, you just actually
32:00
loving on yourself and caring for yourself and respecting yourself.
32:04
So my question is, Suzan, are you willing to stop, put you first and
32:09
love on your self care for yourself and demonstrate some self respect?
32:15
That's my driver.
32:17
Awesome.
32:17
Why?
32:18
I love it.
32:19
I love it.
32:19
Love it.
32:20
If I could jump into this discussion, I remember when I left corporate
32:25
America, I felt like I was so depleted and I wanted a complete transformation
32:31
and I went from being a corporate person to being an entrepreneur.
32:36
And that was a mind shift.
32:38
And, but part of it, was my identity.
32:41
How did I want to identify myself?
32:44
Mm-hmm.
32:44
And I didn't want to, you know, I literally sat down and made a list
32:49
of how I wanted to be perceived, not just from the outside world,
32:54
but how I wanted to feel inside of me, like what resonated with me.
33:00
I wanna suggest a book that really helped me, which was Atomic Habits.
33:06
And that really goes into you, defining like what is your identity?
33:12
And at the time, I think I was over 200 pounds, but I didn't wanna be like,
33:20
yes, I wanted to fit in all the clothes that were in the back of the closet.
33:24
I wanted to fit in to those things.
33:27
But my driver in that was that I wanted to be lean and strong.
33:33
I wanted to know that if I had the walk, you know, three or four miles because
33:38
my car broke down or anything like that, that I could do it no problem.
33:42
I wanted to know that I could go on vacation and, you know, do whatever on
33:47
vacation and not be like, oh, my knees are hurting me, or my back is hurting me.
33:52
So, you know, it goes back to what Ms. Hart was saying about what is your why?
33:56
Who do you wanna be?
33:57
Mm-hmm.
33:58
How do you wanna be identified?
34:01
Who is it on the inside?
34:02
So I know that I went on one too many vacations and I've
34:05
gained some weight back.
34:07
But you know what I tell myself that is not the person that I'm want to be.
34:13
I don't identify as that person.
34:15
I identify as somebody who is healthy, who is strong, who can move.
34:20
I can move my body and yes, I can fit in that little dress.
34:24
So when people say, how old are you?
34:26
I can say I'm 70.
34:29
And be proud of it.
34:31
Mm-hmm.
34:32
Atomic Habits.
34:33
That's a really good book, James Clear.
34:36
Atomic Habits, James Clear.
34:38
All right.
34:39
Very good book.
34:39
Dr. Stella has had a hand up for a while.
34:42
Dr Stella, you had something to say?
34:44
Everybody's contribution has been wonderful, but from my
34:49
perspective of food as medicine.
34:52
I cannot help but bring that conversation in.
34:56
So if moving is one of the things you want to accomplish, you could all,
35:03
now somebody gotta be at the door.
35:04
Hold on please.
35:06
You can move through gardening.
35:10
Now is planting time.
35:12
You can have watered gardens.
35:14
You can have raised gardens.
35:16
Well talk about gardening.
35:19
I just got to delivery of a beautiful pomegranate.
35:24
Ooh.
35:24
Yeah.
35:25
Oh God.
35:26
I wish, I think next time we'll do this, I need to take you guys a tour of my garden.
35:31
Yep.
35:31
Let me see.
35:32
So, gardening is something that I've found to be a very interesting
35:36
way of moving productively.
35:39
I resent having to go to the gym and walk on the treadmill and go nowhere
35:43
when I could use that energy to do a lot of amazing things, you know?
35:48
So gardening either for food or for flower and beauty or both can be an
35:55
interesting way of accomplishing that.
35:58
I don't know if you guys can see that.
36:00
That's my factory.
36:03
And I've got, there is another factory, and look at my tomato over there.
36:08
I have a raised garden over there and my daughter likes the flowers,
36:11
so she's in charge of the flowers.
36:13
I'm in charge of the herbs and food.
36:14
Nice.
36:15
If I take to the back of my house, you'll also see many more plants.
36:21
I grow my food.
36:22
And the act of nurturing your plant is an interesting way
36:27
to get a lot of exercise in.
36:29
You know, if you spend down to pick up 10 weeds, you've done 10 sports.
36:36
I like that perspective, and you'll keep that in mind.
36:39
I love that.
36:41
You've done 10 sports and then you are in the sun.
36:45
You are connecting with the earth.
36:46
It is just purposeful.
36:48
You won't even realize you're getting an exercise.
36:50
Mm-hmm.
36:51
And this is exercise that is so productive in many ways.
36:55
Another way that I get my exercise in is dancing.
37:00
You know, I could sit in my wheelchair and just rock away.
37:04
Whatever you are moving, just move it.
37:06
You go that way.
37:07
You go away.
37:07
Just move something.
37:09
And I love to dance, so praise, worship.
37:14
Wake up in the morning, you said at that quiet prayer time, you're sitting
37:17
there on knee in there somewhere.
37:18
You're not moving.
37:20
You can actively pray.
37:22
Active prayer.
37:23
You are dancing, you are worshiping, and my music is booming and you can't help.
37:28
Before you know you worked at a sweat for 30 minutes.
37:31
When I have conversation with my class, why don't you start a dancing competition,
37:35
especially in today's social media?
37:36
That could be a family fun thing.
37:38
Bring daddy in.
37:39
Bring mama in, bring the kids.
37:41
Let's go to old school dance.
37:42
Let's who will beat the other?
37:44
So active fun.
37:46
So what exercise is fun is something you look forward to.
37:51
So let's find a way to not make it something old that you gotta do for help.
37:56
Let it be fun.
37:58
Go bowling.
37:59
You know, when was the last time you got went bowling?
38:02
When was the last time you got ice skating, go into nature walk, go hiking.
38:08
The day I went into the Holden Arboretum, you walk around, you see
38:13
the flowers, you see different plants.
38:15
You will not even realize you exercising.
38:19
Connecting with nature.
38:20
You are in the sun, so try and find, like my sister said, make that call
38:25
while you work, pray while you work.
38:28
Dance as part of that moving whatever.
38:31
I remember one day I went to a party and I was on my wheelchair
38:34
and people were just sitting there drinking and looking just miserable.
38:38
I say, Hey, can you lend me your legs?
38:43
And we just keep moving.
38:44
Be thankful that you can move.
38:46
Yeah.
38:47
Be prayerful.
38:48
Let your activities be in worship.
38:50
We say our body is the temple of God.
38:53
How do you wanna leave that temple?
38:55
What do you want to honor that temple?
38:57
Use that body to honor God.
38:58
Dance to the glory of God.
39:00
If it's to other music, even your jazz, you can move to slow jazz.
39:05
You can sit in your couch and just keep moving.
39:07
Before you know it, the spirit of the dance will connect with you because
39:11
sometimes we forget to have fun.
39:13
So...
39:14
yeah.
39:14
You can garden, you can dance, you can walk.
39:17
Just make it whatever you do.
39:19
Make it fun.
39:20
The other day I joined a drumming group.
39:23
We just go there.
39:23
I can't dance, of course I can't get up and dance, but I can drum.
39:26
So whatever you can move, move it.
39:28
And my daughter was dancing.
39:30
I can't even remember the day she got out, but I was able to get her dancing.
39:36
That day she slept so well and that was the beginning of her journey.
39:41
So join a drumming group.
39:42
Find hobbies that get you up and going so you won't be looking at it.
39:46
Oh, I got a do.
39:48
No.
39:48
Make connection even through exercise.
39:50
Work with groups of people.
39:52
Find people that you connect with.
39:54
You know, actually at this time of the year, I love connecting with nature.
39:58
We go to the water parks, you play with kids.
40:02
Know who says there's a group of 70s, 50 and above, Grandma
40:06
club, they're playing football.
40:09
I don't know if you guys heard about that.
40:10
They met in South Africa from all over the world.
40:13
Woah!
40:13
At that age!
40:14
So it's never late.
40:15
You can join a volleyball team.
40:17
Do it for the fun, do it for your health, do it for the connection.
40:21
Thank you very much.
40:23
Awesome.
40:25
Oh, I love that, Dr. Stella.
40:27
Thank you for all of the beautiful reminders.
40:30
Yes.
40:32
Beautiful.
40:33
Beautiful.
40:33
I just saying that we grow old because we stop playing.
40:38
Mm-hmm.
40:39
Very much so.
40:40
Yeah.
40:41
We grow old because we stopped playing.
40:43
You know, my name is Stella and they say, oh, have you watched the movie?
40:46
Has Stella got her group back?
40:47
So this Stella is not losing her group at all.
40:50
Love.
40:53
I love it.
40:53
I love it.
40:54
I love it.
40:54
And what you said, you know, when you, when life, what's it when life
41:00
throws you lemons make lemonade?
41:02
It's lemonade.
41:04
And you can sell it and make money.
41:07
Oh yes, the lemonade.
41:08
You can make money with that.
41:09
Right?
41:12
Oh boy.
41:12
And share it and create love and connections.
41:15
I love what you're doing because for some of you who don't know Dr. Stella's story,
41:19
do I have the okay from you to share that?
41:22
Yes, go ahead.
41:23
So she was in a terrible accident.
41:26
I dunno how many years ago in Nigeria, which has left her in
41:28
a wheelchair, but that has not kept her bound in any which way.
41:32
As you can see, she's attending parties, she's gardening, she
41:36
has a flourishing business.
41:37
She farms, she gardens, she has products that she sells, teas and lots more.
41:44
She hasn't let that keep her down in any which way.
41:48
And so that was one of the reasons that inspired me to ask her to be
41:52
a speaker on the summit, you know, for her to share about how to create
41:56
a successful international business in spite having some disabilities.
42:02
And so, you know, Sola, that your question sparked a lot of answers.
42:07
And I love the one of dancing.
42:09
I wake up in the morning and instead of sitting down quietly.
42:13
Praise the Lord on your feet, run up and down the stairs.
42:16
In this house where I am, there are many stairs and we have
42:20
some people who don't walk.
42:22
They run and jump and I'm like, come on, respect your age.
42:25
But now you say, so I think I'm gonna join, run and jump as
42:30
can... as it's safe enough for me.
42:34
Not too much because of your knee.
42:37
So at a certain age you don't need high impact exercises.
42:40
So we need to be kind to the knees.
42:44
That's so true.
42:46
Yeah, that's so true.
42:47
My knee's so much better now.
42:48
For those of you who didn't know, I fell and hit my knee and that
42:51
was probably the best thing that happened because the doctors couldn't
42:54
figure out why it wouldn't go down.
42:56
I tripped on something, fell, and that knee is as straight as a rod.
43:00
Now nobody can give any explanation other than that was a divine fall.
43:07
Oh boy.
43:08
Well, ladies, I want to be respectful of the time.
43:12
We didn't get the attendees as much as we, as I anticipated we
43:16
would've had, but we got each other.
43:20
And there's nothing better than company with those who you enjoy being with.
43:24
And I enjoy being with all of you ladies.
43:26
There's one question in the chat though.
43:28
Oh, that Sandy put here.
43:31
What's one lesson you had to learn the hard way in business and how
43:35
did it shape the way you lead today?
43:38
Do you have enough minutes to answer that?
43:42
Anyone wants to take that?
43:44
That's a good question though.
43:46
Could you repeat the question please?
43:48
What's one lesson you had to learn the hard way in business and how
43:52
did it shape the way you lead today?
43:56
Well one of the hard lesson I learned, if I could take that, especially with
44:00
my business, which I couldn't do solo 'cause sometimes I wish I could do solo.
44:05
My business requires dealing with so many people at different levels.
44:09
The farm hands, the attendance, the technical people, the mechanics, the,
44:14
gosh, I can't deal with so many people.
44:16
So the lesson learned the hard way was allowing my frustration
44:23
to impact how I talk to people.
44:25
You know when things are not working right and you are putting in so much,
44:29
especially in agric business, there's so much loss and you're so complex.
44:33
And then of course, plus my disability, you're so completely
44:37
dependent on other people.
44:39
You have what you wanna do.
44:41
You could easily have gone ahead and done it yourself or you can't there,
44:44
so you're depending on other people.
44:46
So I learned to be kinder to people.
44:50
I learnt that people can walk at my pace.
44:52
I learnt that I'm extraordinary and that people cannot walk with my pace, you know?
45:00
So I had to slow down to walk at their pace and gradually
45:05
pull them up to my pace.
45:07
Before then I get so irritable, I get frustrated and I lash out, and then they
45:13
would said, oh, Ma, the way you talk.
45:14
It's almost like we never do anything good, you know?
45:18
And that was so discouraging.
45:19
And I too, I need encouragement.
45:21
So they want encouragement from me, and I'm asking them, if you could
45:24
do this a little bit, I could also, I need encouragment because it's so
45:29
frustrating because you're bearing the cost of everything that is going wrong.
45:33
You're bearing the cost of their mistake.
45:36
So I have to carry all my frustration and hand it over to God.
45:41
I say, God, you are my source of comfort.
45:44
You are my source of encouragement.
45:46
Encourage me so I can be a source of encouragement to the people that work with
45:51
me so that they can have the self-efficacy to be able to step up to the plate.
45:57
Because especially in places where the work ethic is poor,
46:01
it can be quite challenging when you have to work with people.
46:05
So I'm learning to be more patient.
46:07
I'm learning to be more gentle.
46:09
It's still work in progress.
46:13
That's awesome.
46:15
I love that answer.
46:17
I love that answer.
46:18
Anybody else?
46:19
Oh, somebody just joined us.
46:21
I can tell you what mine was.
46:23
Mine was, you know, trying to do everything myself.
46:28
Not realizing that there's a power in delegation and there's even so much more
46:33
power in collaboration because I don't have the answers to a lot of things.
46:38
A hard lesson I also learned apart from, as I said, delegation and collaboration.
46:43
Probably they come hand in hand is because I was so afraid.
46:48
For those of you who were there on Saturday, you heard my story.
46:51
I was afraid to show up.
46:53
I was afraid, oh my gosh, what do people say about my accent, et cetera.
46:58
Until I realized that that was keeping me back, people needed to hear my story.
47:02
And so because of that, that has enabled me to now lead in the
47:07
sense of now having a podcast which has developed into a community, a
47:11
community of you awesome women, and
47:15
knowing that sharing, delegating, and collaborating is more of an
47:22
advantage to me than a disadvantage, has enabled me to be where I am today.
47:28
I couldn't have done it if I did not come to that realization.
47:31
I couldn't have done it if I kept just keeping to myself and thinking,
47:35
oh, I have to do this all by myself.
47:37
But by opening up being vulnerable, and then of course, as I said,
47:41
delegating and collaborating, I'm able to do what I do now.
47:45
So I hope that answers that question.
47:51
Alright, anyone else?
47:55
I would say for me, one thing I've learned in my entrepreneurship journey
47:59
is that failure... one of the ladies said it, I've forgotten her name
48:03
on Saturday, one of the doctors.
48:05
But anyway, it was that failure is feedback.
48:07
It's not the finish line.
48:09
And so just learning to accept some areas where I may have failed, quote
48:17
unquote, or gotten some rejection.
48:20
And not taking it internally 'cause I sometimes get the
48:25
tendency to internalize it.
48:27
Oh, you didn't know what you were doing.
48:29
You shouldn't have applied, you shouldn't have done this and done that.
48:31
Exactly.
48:32
So, but instead, what I have learned over the two plus years that I've
48:37
been doing this is whenever I get some form of rejection or quote unquote
48:42
fail at something, I ask myself, what could I have done differently?
48:47
What is the blessing in this?
48:49
Because I truly believe that, there's a blessing in everything.
48:52
You just have to look for it and how can I use my failure to bless somebody else?
48:59
So those three things and yeah, that's it for me.
49:05
I love it.
49:06
I love it.
49:08
Oh boy.
49:10
We could talk forever here, but I want to be respectful to everyone's time.
49:15
So again, I want to thank all of you who joined us today, all you speakers
49:20
from Friday and Saturday, who still found time to join me on the show today.
49:25
I appreciate you.
49:27
And for Constance and Sola, is Sola still here?
49:30
Yes.
49:31
She is still there.
49:32
Who joined us as a non-speaker, but still joined.
49:37
Thank you.
49:38
I appreciate you and Isioma also.
49:41
Thank you Isioma.
49:43
I want everyone to know that every Wednesday at 1:00 PM Eastern Standard
49:47
Time, Chatting with the Experts TV show is on, and I always have.
49:56
And you see I'm speechless.
49:57
I always have a professional woman and an entrepreneurial
50:01
woman on to share her expertise
50:07
with the mission of educating, inspiring and empowering women globally.
50:14
So I hope all of you who are here today, if you can't join us physically
50:18
on Wednesdays, please invite someone to join us because it's all about
50:23
sharing, learning, and empowering women.
50:27
And we have some men who join us.
50:29
And, so thank you.
50:31
Thank you.
50:31
Thank you again for spending the last hour and four minutes with me.
50:37
I don't take it lightly.
50:39
I. Thank you.
50:41
Is a message here?
50:43
Kudos and an awesome summit.
50:45
Great job, Paula and Turiya.
50:47
And yes.
50:48
Thank you.
50:49
Yeah, I was just about to say lastly, before everyone leaves, if you would
50:53
like to have access to the summit recordings and all of the resources
50:58
provided by the speakers, make sure to grab the all-access pass.
51:03
And so I just dropped the link inside of the chat for those of you who didn't
51:09
get to attend all of the presentations on both days, and you would like to
51:13
get access to that, that's available.
51:15
Or if you would like to just go back and watch.
51:18
That's available for you as well.
51:21
Thank you.
51:23
And enjoy the rest of the week.
51:27
That's one thing.
51:27
We can't get back time, so I'm respectful of your time.
51:30
It's 2:05.
51:32
Some of you have other appointments.
51:34
I mean, we'd love to hang out here.
51:36
I have nothing to do for the next, I have a meeting at 3:30 Victoria,
51:41
but if you wanna keep hanging out here with us, please do so.
51:46
Unfortunately, I do have to jump off, but take care everyone.
51:50
It was great seeing everyone again.