Latest / ok storytime / My father SECRETLY left me money… now my stepmom wants to STEAL it! -r/AmItheButtface | Reddit Stories | EP3104

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My father SECRETLY left me money… now my stepmom wants to STEAL it! -r/AmItheButtface | Reddit Stories | EP3104 · ok storytime

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Carly.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: And this is Dakota, your favorite OK Storytime hosts, and
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: we've got some great stories coming up.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: But before that, we have a quick two-minute break from
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: the sponsors that keep the show alive. My father secretly
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: left me money. Now my stepmom wants to steal it.
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: Well, put it in the vault.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: After my parents got divorced, my dad started dating Betty.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Everything started OK, but Betty became jealous when my dad
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: spent time with me.
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: Weird. Immediate red flag.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: She was never harmful, just passive aggressive and saved her
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: worst comments for when he wasn't around. I learned I
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: can't trust her, but I am polite to her. Betty
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: has a son, Frank, who's very greedy. When she met
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: my dad, Betty stopped giving him everything he wanted. In 2009,
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: he and my dad had an argument that ended with
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: then 40-year-old Frank punching my then 70-year-old dad. My dad
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: passed away a few months ago. The will was joined,
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: so the estate goes to Betty, and once she passes away,
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: what's left will be divided between me, my brother Alan,
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: and Frank. It's unlikely me or Alan will see any
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: of it, because Frank will drain her until there's nothing left,
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: which has already started. By the way, this comes from
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: Inheritance Snafu. And if you want to submit your own stories,
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: go to the r slash ok story time subreddit. I'm Sophia.
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: I'm Dakota.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: And I'm Savannah. And we're here to give good advice goofily,
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: but we don't have all the answers. We only know
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: what we do. So let us know what you would
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: do in the comments. And Opie says, they got married
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: in 1996. In 2006, he changed the beneficiary on his
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: IRA to only me. It's not part of the estate.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: She's very nervous about the IRA. My dad was fairly wealthy.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: So between his estate, her retirement accounts, and them selling
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: their house for almost $ 1 million... She's not going to starve,
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: but she is still nervous. Alan called me with all
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: of this info because the estate lawyer is sending me
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: a letter about it. Betty told him not to tell
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: me anything, but he felt he had to. Haven't gotten
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: the letter yet, but there may be setting up a
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: trust that she'll want me to sign the IRA into.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: I expect to guilt trip about doing the right thing
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: and following his wishes, but.
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: Don't sign anything. Get a lawyer.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: Don't sign nothing.
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: Stop.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: Don't let them guilt trip you. The reason they had
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: a joint will is because they couldn't agree on any
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: other kind of split, as my dad didn't like Frank
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: and Betty doesn't like me. If I thought my dad
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: had dementia, I might believe the IRA was missed, but
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: he was very meticulous. It feels like making me beneficiary
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: was his way of providing for me knowing this would happen.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: It does not make financial sense for me to give
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: the money to the estate agency. and end up with 25%
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: of whatever pittance is left when I could have 50%
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: of whatever is in the IRA now. I would split
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: it with Alan. My other reason for not wanting to
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: share is that I'm currently pregnant. And having this money
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: would make being a stay-at-home mom easier, and baby would
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: get a jumpstart on her college fund. Would I be
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: the a-hole if I didn't give this money back to
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: the estate and shared it with my brother? I might
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: be the buttface because while I want to be ethical,
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: I am having some schadenfreude over being in control after
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: she treated me poorly for 30 years. I also don't
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: need the money, but she doesn't either, so... In other info,
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: I don't know why she wouldn't call me directly. Either
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: the lawyer said not to, or this is another example
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: of her not treating me as an adult. My brother
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: is my half-brother. He was estranged and came back into
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: our lives in 2008. I feel like he would have
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: been on the IRA too. After my brother came back
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: into our lives, but before he had changed his will,
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: my dad always asked me to be fair with him
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: so I would give him his share. And we do
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: have an update. So I guess the question is, do
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: we give, you know, OP's the beneficiary. Does she give
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: the money that she technically has control over back to
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: the estate?
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, if you're going to do that, hey,
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: you might as well just give it to me or anyone.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: You're like, oh, well, I don't need the money, but
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: she doesn't either. It's like, take the money.
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: It's yours.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: Update one week later. I got my mystery letter. It
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: was pretty much what I expected. Basically, please give me
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: the money because it's obvious that your dad thought this
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: would be covered by the will and he meant for
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: all the money to come to me. Then filter down
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: to you, kids. Trickle down, economic style. Complete with a
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: guilt-trippy paragraph about how they lived on their social security
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: and withdrawing from their IRAs. and neither of them have
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: a pension or other income. And I quote, only what
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: we had saved over the years.
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: Hey, aw, good luck with that after you sell your
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: million dollar house.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: Like only what we've saved over the years and the
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: million dollar house I'm gonna sell. Which she could probably
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: get even more for.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: No one can make it on a million dollars these days.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: No, that's too hard. Everyone needs at least three million.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: There's also a line about how you can see that
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: there is a large value to the items gifted to
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: you and Alan. Which I'm not going to argue with. Exactly.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: Except that I sincerely wonder if she thinks I'm an
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: idiot and doesn't realize I know how to add. She
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: just sold their house for almost $ 1 million. Or that
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: I don't know what the apartment in Italy is worth. $ 350, 000.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: I find it very difficult to believe that my father
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: didn't also have a savings account or mutual funds. Plus
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: she's going to get widow survivor benefits. in addition to
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: her own benefits from Social Security. The items Alan and
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: I were gifted come nowhere close to that. I think
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: altogether there is a car involved. We're divvying up maybe
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: $ 100, 000 worth of stuff. Maybe, if we can get a
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: good price for the car. With just those two sales,
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: she could buy a house for $ 200, 000 to $ 300, 000 near
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: her son and still have plenty to live on. But
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: she seems to have her heart set on buying a
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: house by the beach. which doesn't feel very much like
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: my problem.
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: Oh, that is an accurate assessment.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, OP's like, oh no, you want a house by
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: the beach?
• 5:54
  Speaker 4: Good luck.
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: Honestly, just blocked on all communications. I respond to the lawyer.
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: I said, I'm not signing this and I request no
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: more further communication about this.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: From her letter, you'd think that this IRA has millions
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: of dollars in it that she desperately needs to survive.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: But no, she tells me that it's worth $ 55, 000. That's 5%
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: of what she just sold the house for. I genuinely
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: think it's both pitiful and pathetic that she wouldn't just
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: let it go. But I'm sure she has Frank whispering
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: in her ear about making sure she gets everything she's
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: entitled to. But now I do have a copy of
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: the will. Two things stand out from what she's sent me.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: The letter isn't on the lawyer's stationery, so there's been
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: no official demand of any sort, and I feel like
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: it's unlikely that I'll get one. Nowhere in the will
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: does it say that she couldn't just rewrite her will
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: and give everything to Frank. Like I said in my
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: last post, I don't trust her in the slightest, so
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: I've contacted an estate lawyer so I can determine my
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: next steps. Thanks for being here with me on this ride.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: I'll update again if there's anything more to say, and
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: we have a second update four months later.
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: Oh, I think there's been some new and exciting developments.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: I do not doubt that your stepmother has lied in
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: some way, shape, or form about the amount of money
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: that is actually in this account or in this IRA.
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: I would be shocked if she did not. Update.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: There's not a whole lot to update on, as for
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: better or worse, I haven't heard from my stepmother in months.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: But I suppose this is some sort of closure for
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: people who care. About a week after I got the letter,
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: she sent me a text message asking if I'd gotten
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: the letter and if I'd made a decision. I said
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: yes and no, respectively. She hasn't contacted me since, so
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: nothing since August. Since then, I've also had my baby
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: five weeks early. So it's not like I have a
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: lot of brain power to spend on her. I spoke
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: with an estate attorney, and she had confirmed that there's
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: nothing legally my stepmother could do to get the IRA.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: So I was in the clear there. Yeah, I mean,
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: OP's the beneficiary, so.
• 7:53
  Speaker 5: All she can do is cry.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: She also confirmed that joint wills don't really exist anymore,
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: so if my stepmother wanted to, she could just rewrite
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: her will to exclude me, or me and Alan, or
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: whatever she wanted to do. This left me with the
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: interesting problem of, how do I get the money, considering
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: I didn't know where it was, and I didn't really
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: want to contact my stepmother and say, I am disinclined
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: to acquiesce to your request, so tell me how to
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: get my money. Because I felt like that would open
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: up a can of, I'm not going to tell you
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: until you agree to sign it over to me. Luckily
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: for me, the lawyer I spoke to was also the
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: son of an old Italian man, like my father, and
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: mentioned that these old Italian men tend to pick a
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: bank and never change. So I googled around for investment
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: firms until I saw a name that rang a bell,
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: and I went, Aha! Long story short, the IRA is
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: now in my name. I had to take a disbursement
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: for this year and sent half to Alan. My stepmother
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: has moved a couple of times, so I don't know
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: her address to send my response letter. And like I said,
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: she hasn't contacted me since August, so I'm considering my
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: hands washed of it unless she actually tries. So all's
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: well that ends well for me. Alan, on the other hand,
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: is still having to deal with her because of the estate.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: He's meeting with the estate lawyer tomorrow to get some
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: questions answered, so I'll be interested in hearing what happens.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: One of the things she had mentioned to him is
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: that she needs a car that my father left to
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: Alan and I, appraised because of something, the estate, I'm guessing,
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: because there's no way the car is worth this much,
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: is worth over $ 5 million. She says there are tax implications,
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: which doesn't make sense to me, but if she's really
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: dealing with a $ 5 million estate, it's super extra petty
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: that she was coming after me for $ 55, 000.
• 9:35
  Speaker 5: Yeah, wait.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: She's, so.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: So there's a car that needs to be appraised.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's more the problem that your stepmom hates you
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: and wants your father's biological children to have nothing.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that doesn't fully make sense to me because it
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: seems like she's saying that if a individual thing is worth...
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: more than $ 5 million, like as tax stuff, but there's
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: no way that the car is worth $ 5 million.
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: It depends.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: I mean, OP would probably know if this was a
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: super expensive car.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: She just doubts that it's probably not, but there could be.
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: If it's... They've got the apartment in Italy. It's a
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: classic car. Who knows how much that's worth.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: Update three, one month later. I'm not sure if I'm
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: making this post for me or for you guys, but
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: at least this is a chronicle of the issue in
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: case anyone asks me about it later. After my last update,
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: there was silence for a while. Then my stepmother sent
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: me a Christmas card with another letter inside it. But
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: I'm sure that particular irony was lost on her. In it,
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: she explained what she was going to use the money for.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: health insurance payments. And once again, acting like this money
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: is what's keeping her from the brink of starvation. This letter, however,
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: had a return address. So I did what any red-blooded
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: millennial would do and Googled it. One visit to the
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: county deed website later confirmed for me that she has
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: bought a beach house. So she is doing fine money-wise.
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: She's got beach house money.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: Well, it's not on the beach. It's a beach town,
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: being purposely vague here, for $ 745, 000. She ended the letter
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: by saying that she had talked to my cousin, who
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: told her that I saw the money as being able
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: to continue my father's memory, and what she felt I
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: should accept are books, photo albums, etc., because those are
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: my father's memory. But she'll discard them if she didn't
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: hear from me by the end of the year, because
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: it just proves I'm all about the money and nothing else.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: That's so stupid.
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: Dang, sounds like your cousin is... Your cousin doesn't have
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: all the lights on upstairs, sounds like.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: I'm sure the irony of me being all about the
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: money while offering to replace it with material things while really,
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: really wanting me to give her money is also lost
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: on her. Also, the attempting to sell me memories was
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: a nice touch. As I finally had an address to
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: respond to, I wrote what my BFF described as the
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: most polite bridge burning ever and sent it off before
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: her deadline. She called yesterday, which I did not answer.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: She left a message saying that she just received my
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: letter that day. I know the USPS sucks right now,
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: but almost two weeks for a letter? And to call
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: her back so she could clear some things up. Her
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: tone was very hostile, so I'm disinclined to call her back. Honestly,
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: I don't really want to hear what she has to say,
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: and I'm not sure why she would think I would. Like,
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: there's really nothing she could say that would convince me
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: to give her the money, and she'll probably just yell
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: at me like I'm the kid she still thinks I am.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: Hopefully this doesn't escalate, but if it does, you know
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: I'll update, and we've got an update.
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: Oh, it escalated.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: It's escalating. More than four years later. That's a lot
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: of time.
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: The good news is there's been no news. I haven't
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: heard a peep from Betty since that last attempted phone
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: call in 2021. I had a sort of close call
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: when my uncle's widow passed away in 2023, and I
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: went home for the funeral. But Betty didn't go, so
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: we didn't run into her. My husband and I moved
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: closer to his work, because if we'd stayed in our
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: old house, he'd only get to see the baby about
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: an hour a day. Now his commute is 20 to
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: 30 minutes each way, instead of over an hour. I'm
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: sure if the new house news filtered to Betty, she'll
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: have assumed that we use the IRA as a down payment.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: She looked down on my husband for being blue-collar, And
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: it never would have occurred to her that he already
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: owned a house. Al and I decided that he would
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: keep the car and any proceeds from it. And I'd
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: keep the IRA just so we didn't have to keep
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: juggling money around because they were basically worth the same.
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: I promised myself that half of anything I took out
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: of it would go into my daughter's college fund. Those
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: contributions plus what we put in each month means she
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: has a little over $ 20, 000. Not bad for a four-year-old.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: She can go to a very respectable community college. Really
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: annoying that a four-year-old's doing better than me, but that's
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: all right.
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: She can go to Aruba.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: Aruba or Jamaica. Ooh, I want to take her money.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: My little preemie is no longer a baby. She's starting
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: pre-K in the fall, and I can't believe the little
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: potato I was baking while all this drama was happening
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: is a little personality of her own. As far as
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: my stepmother, I wonder sometimes if I'll even get notified
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: when she passes away. Well, I guess technically if I'm
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: a beneficiary, I would have to be notified, but I'm
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: sure I've been written out of the will by now.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: No skin off my nose. Yeah, you got $ 55, 000. What
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: I want to know is, I mean, okay, like I
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: guess if OP had given the money back, would they
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: have been, you know, guaranteed to get a certain amount
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: of money? Because it seems like that will was a
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: lot more. Like it seems like it might have been
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: over $ 5 million.
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the estate.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: The entire estate. So, like, could OP have gotten more
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: if she gave back the $ 55, 000? Or could, you know,
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: her stepmom just have taken all that money?
• 15:00
  Speaker 5: I have no idea.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: I bet she would have just taken it all. She's
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: not going to give you anything, that's for sure.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess it's better to have $ 55, 000 and not
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: deal with your stepmom.
• 15:11
  Speaker 4: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
• 15:13
  Speaker 4: the next one.
• 15:15
  Speaker 6: My sister has been selfish for months, so my little
• 15:18
  Speaker 6: brother gave her a taste of it.
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: It's probably served cold. I.
• 15:23
  Speaker 6: 21 female, was calling my mom, and during part of
• 15:26
  Speaker 6: the call, she mentioned that my sister, Macy, who is
• 15:29
  Speaker 6: a junior in high school, has been making candy and
• 15:32
  Speaker 6: desserts a lot, but often saying that other people cannot
• 15:35
  Speaker 6: share most of the final product. For example, if she
• 15:38
  Speaker 6: made chocolate chip cookies using family ingredients, she always put
• 15:41
  Speaker 6: them off limits beyond a certain amount for our 13-year-old
• 15:44
  Speaker 6: brother and our parents. And our parents just went with it.
• 15:48
  Speaker 6: Even she kept half or most of the batch.
• 15:51
  Speaker 5: Oh, so she's not sharing. Why are they saying it
• 15:53
  Speaker 5: weird like this?
• 15:55
  Speaker 6: I told my mom that was weird because, for example,
• 15:58
  Speaker 6: if my siblings wanted to get cookies from the store
• 16:00
  Speaker 6: and not share freely, there's always been a rule they'd
• 16:03
  Speaker 6: have to buy those themselves. Except in special cases where
• 16:06
  Speaker 6: my mom might offer to let each kid choose one
• 16:09
  Speaker 6: item of their own. So, like, weird that Macy gets
• 16:12
  Speaker 6: to make cookies using family ingredients and then say she's
• 16:15
  Speaker 6: barely sharing with anybody. Apparently, she doesn't wash the dishes
• 16:19
  Speaker 6: and mixing bowls she uses either because her only dish-related
• 16:22
  Speaker 6: chore is taking dishes.
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: Out of the dishwasher and not putting them in.
• 16:25
  Speaker 6: My mom said she'd have to think about that, and
• 16:28
  Speaker 6: then we started talking about unrelated things.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: By the way, this.
• 16:31
  Speaker 6: Comes from SchrodingersCat42, and if you want to spend your
• 16:35
  Speaker 6: own stories, go to the r slash ok story time subreddit.
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: I'm Savannah.
• 16:38
  Speaker 6: I'm Riley.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: And we're here to give some good advice, but we
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: don't have all your answers.
• 16:42
  Speaker 6: We're only going to tell you what we would do,
• 16:44
  Speaker 6: so let us know what you would do down in
• 16:45
  Speaker 6: the comments. Macy ended up getting mad at me later
• 16:48
  Speaker 6: because she says that now she has to pay for
• 16:50
  Speaker 6: ingredients if she insists on limiting the amount that other
• 16:53
  Speaker 6: people are allowed to take. She says other people could
• 16:57
  Speaker 6: bake more if they wanted. She says that she wants
• 16:59
  Speaker 6: to set some things aside for her lunchbox or for
• 17:02
  Speaker 6: days when she doesn't want to bake and she should
• 17:05
  Speaker 6: be able to do that if she cooked them without
• 17:08
  Speaker 6: wondering if someone ate them already.
• 17:09
  Speaker 5: You did kind of snitch on her, so.
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: Can't blame her.
• 17:12
  Speaker 6: Yeah okay now i see she's like okay i bake
• 17:15
  Speaker 6: them so that i can have them like you guys
• 17:17
  Speaker 6: can have some of them but i want most okay
• 17:19
  Speaker 6: wait so i think this is not selfish i think
• 17:21
  Speaker 6: this is just she's making it and she's giving you
• 17:24
  Speaker 6: some it's not like she's making it and saying off
• 17:26
  Speaker 6: limits no one can have any you get a little
• 17:28
  Speaker 6: bit you don't need all of it you.
• 17:29
  Speaker 5: Know disagree op you're the snitch.
• 17:31
  Speaker 6: I told her to talk to our parents because i
• 17:33
  Speaker 6: didn't make the role and she said yeah but you
• 17:36
  Speaker 6: convinced them So am I the a-hole for saying it
• 17:39
  Speaker 6: was weird that Macy was allowed to bake with communal
• 17:42
  Speaker 6: ingredients and put the products off limits?
• 17:45
  Speaker 5: One simple quote right here.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: You ready?
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 17:49
  Speaker 5: Overthinking is a thief of joy.
• 17:51
  Speaker 6: I feel like I should add this to my post.
• 17:54
  Speaker 6: A big problem with the previous system, which yes, I
• 17:57
  Speaker 6: did also bring up to her mom in the call.
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: Previous system. You called it a product.
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: Like, my God. Why is this such a big deal?
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: Just buy cookies if you want them.
• 18:07
  Speaker 5: This is important to Opie. I'll tell you. It's her
• 18:11
  Speaker 5: biggest problem in her life. We'll give it to her.
• 18:13
  Speaker 6: A big problem with the previous system is that Macy
• 18:16
  Speaker 6: would use up chocolate chips or butter or something and
• 18:19
  Speaker 6: leave dirty mixing bowls and then tell 13 male Max
• 18:23
  Speaker 6: that either he couldn't have any cookies or that he
• 18:26
  Speaker 6: could only have a very limited amount and then no
• 18:28
  Speaker 6: more the next day with the chocolate chips and butter
• 18:30
  Speaker 6: still gone. Max also cooks and bakes, and he shares,
• 18:34
  Speaker 6: by the way. But he was unable to bake any
• 18:36
  Speaker 6: cookies for himself in situations where Macy used up necessary
• 18:39
  Speaker 6: ingredients and then said no to him when he wanted cookies.
• 18:43
  Speaker 5: Oh, I see now. I didn't know other people were
• 18:48
  Speaker 5: needing cookies. Okay, she is a knight. She serves justice.
• 18:53
  Speaker 5: I like Opie. Opie's growing on me now.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: I think it's just petty.
• 18:57
  Speaker 6: It's just, you know, if they both like to bake,
• 18:59
  Speaker 6: sometimes ingredients run out. Just buy extras next time.
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: But you do not see it is not as simple
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: as this.
• 19:06
  Speaker 5: There's more to this.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: Our parents tried buying more of those ingredients, but they
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: just got used up faster. Little hoarder.
• 19:16
  Speaker 5: Oh, we have a thief too now.
• 19:20
  Speaker 6: So now I'm more on your side because now she's
• 19:22
  Speaker 6: just using them up and not giving anyone anything.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: That's rude. We got more context.
• 19:27
  Speaker 6: And our mom thinks it would be ridiculous to buy
• 19:29
  Speaker 6: more than a certain number of bags of chocolate chips
• 19:32
  Speaker 6: per grocery trip.
• 19:33
  Speaker 5: Mother, I'm trying to run a business. 100 bags of
• 19:37
  Speaker 5: chocolate chips.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: Now I know that. Edit number two.
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: Context of it.
• 19:44
  Speaker 6: I feel like Max has a disadvantage when it comes
• 19:47
  Speaker 6: to access to limited ingredients because he has been with school, etc.
• 19:51
  Speaker 6: More often than Macy. He does have free time to
• 19:54
  Speaker 6: cook and bake, but there is a good chance that
• 19:56
  Speaker 6: something he wanted to use may be gone by then.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: Simple solution here, I feel.
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: Hide him.
• 20:03
  Speaker 6: I feel like if Macy's restricting what Max can bake
• 20:06
  Speaker 6: this much by quickly using up limited ingredients, and he's
• 20:09
  Speaker 6: had to wash her dirty mixing bowls at least once before,
• 20:12
  Speaker 6: then she should not be placing heavy restrictions on how
• 20:15
  Speaker 6: much of the final product he can eat, or even
• 20:17
  Speaker 6: not allowing him to have any at all. It's just
• 20:20
  Speaker 6: not fair to him.
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: Okay. All right.
• 20:23
  Speaker 5: I see your point of view. I thought you were
• 20:25
  Speaker 5: being a little bit petty at first. I'm on your side, Opie.
• 20:29
  Speaker 6: And at number three, I've had at least one question
• 20:32
  Speaker 6: about their allowance. If I'm remembering correctly, with chores and
• 20:36
  Speaker 6: good behavior and enough piano practice, they can earn up
• 20:39
  Speaker 6: to $ 42 a week. They are religious and pay tithing,
• 20:43
  Speaker 6: but it still comes out to about $ 38 after everything.
• 20:46
  Speaker 6: Extra info, both children often bake with box mixes of
• 20:50
  Speaker 6: muffins and brownies. The longest recipes are fairly standard ones
• 20:54
  Speaker 6: for chocolate chip cookies.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: Oh, and there's an update.
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: What?
• 20:58
  Speaker 5: This medieval thing I've been making up, we might not
• 21:01
  Speaker 5: be far from it.
• 21:02
  Speaker 6: Oh my god.
• 21:04
  Speaker 5: Because if they are religious and it seems like the
• 21:08
  Speaker 5: boy is doing more work, like schoolwork and things and
• 21:12
  Speaker 5: probably working out in the fields more and Macy's more
• 21:14
  Speaker 5: at home, they might be Amish. That's probably the tism
• 21:18
  Speaker 5: I am on.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: They could be Amish.
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: They could be.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: There's an update here.
• 21:22
  Speaker 6: Macy was really frustrated with the idea of having to
• 21:25
  Speaker 6: pay for ingredients if she didn't want to share. and
• 21:27
  Speaker 6: she pressured Max into agreeing to switch back to the
• 21:30
  Speaker 6: old system, which got our parents to also agree. Max
• 21:34
  Speaker 6: told Macy it wasn't fair because she would use up
• 21:37
  Speaker 6: ingredients and prevent him from baking what he wanted, while
• 21:41
  Speaker 6: also saying he could barely have any of what she made.
• 21:44
  Speaker 6: But Macy didn't listen. Max caves kind of easily, which
• 21:48
  Speaker 6: is why he agreed to go back to the old way,
• 21:50
  Speaker 6: even though he had hated it. Before Macy asked our
• 21:52
  Speaker 6: parents about going back to the old rules, Max texted
• 21:55
  Speaker 6: Macy that he would behave like she did if that happened.
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: That was unusually gutsy for him to say. Macy left
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: him on read.
• 22:04
  Speaker 6: Max woke up early the next morning and baked a lot.
• 22:06
  Speaker 6: It was the day after a shopping trip, so all
• 22:09
  Speaker 6: four bags of chocolate chips were available, and he used
• 22:12
  Speaker 6: them all up just like Macy always did. He made
• 22:15
  Speaker 6: his preferred chocolate chip cookie recipe, boxed muffins, and peppermint bark.
• 22:19
  Speaker 6: For those of you wondering, yeah, there are a few
• 22:21
  Speaker 6: desserts that get made over and over and over there.
• 22:25
  Speaker 5: Hmm.
• 22:26
  Speaker 6: Max set aside most of everything for himself, which is
• 22:29
  Speaker 6: what Macy usually does. He gave Macy the amount of
• 22:32
  Speaker 6: everything that she usually gives him. Example, two cookies from
• 22:35
  Speaker 6: the whole batch. He dumped the dirty bowls and tools
• 22:38
  Speaker 6: into the sink like Macy did instead of making sure they.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: Got clean like he typically would.
• 22:43
  Speaker 6: After school, Macy wanted to make something, but there were
• 22:46
  Speaker 6: no chocolate chips for her to bake cookies with, and
• 22:48
  Speaker 6: the muffins had already been made. She wanted to make pancakes,
• 22:51
  Speaker 6: but the necessary bowls and things were dirty. She asked
• 22:54
  Speaker 6: Max to clean them, but he walked away and locked
• 22:56
  Speaker 6: himself in his room. She yelled her question about cleaning
• 22:59
  Speaker 6: them through the door, and he responded over text that
• 23:01
  Speaker 6: maybe he would when she did.
• 23:04
  Speaker 5: Don't like how the way Macy's moving here. She's manipulating
• 23:07
  Speaker 5: little old Max here. Not a fan.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: No, well.
• 23:11
  Speaker 5: And Max is speaking up for himself, but Macy's not
• 23:13
  Speaker 5: hearing it.
• 23:14
  Speaker 6: Yeah, which she's just getting a taste of her own medicine.
• 23:17
  Speaker 6: But I think this whole thing is just like out
• 23:19
  Speaker 6: of proportion for no reason. But I guess baking is
• 23:21
  Speaker 6: a big part of their family.
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, dude.
• 23:23
  Speaker 5: My question, where's all this bacon going?
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 23:27
  Speaker 5: Is Macy making all this stuff, taking it to school
• 23:29
  Speaker 5: and getting a little cha-ching on the side? I don't know.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: I mean, could be, I guess.
• 23:35
  Speaker 5: I could see that happening.
• 23:36
  Speaker 6: Now, Macy is complaining that this system is also unfair,
• 23:41
  Speaker 6: even though it was what she said she wanted. I
• 23:43
  Speaker 6: had nothing to do with what Max did today, but
• 23:45
  Speaker 6: she blames his actions on me because she heard me
• 23:48
  Speaker 6: telling him I was proud of him for standing up
• 23:50
  Speaker 6: for himself.
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, dude. What?
• 23:53
  Speaker 5: You want your little brother not to stand up to people? Macy,
• 23:56
  Speaker 5: you don't understand how impressionable he is at his age.
• 24:00
  Speaker 5: This system must crash.
• 24:01
  Speaker 6: It took him forever to get to this point. But
• 24:04
  Speaker 6: I really didn't tell him what to do. I only
• 24:07
  Speaker 6: found out about it during a phone call.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: Within the last hour.
• 24:09
  Speaker 6: I told Macy that, and she says that even if
• 24:14
  Speaker 6: it's true, which she doubts, then I'm still the a-hole
• 24:17
  Speaker 6: for giving an encouraging reaction to petty behavior.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: So am I. And there's another edit.
• 24:24
  Speaker 5: At first you were, but after seeing that you were
• 24:26
  Speaker 5: standing up for your younger brother Max, I'm not the
• 24:29
  Speaker 5: a-hole anymore. You taught him a valuable lesson. What are
• 24:31
  Speaker 5: you talking about?
• 24:32
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I think now he can, you know, stand his
• 24:35
  Speaker 6: ground and he can give her a taste of what
• 24:38
  Speaker 6: she's been doing for like to him for a while.
• 24:41
  Speaker 5: So at the ripe age of 13.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: He's learning quick edits.
• 24:46
  Speaker 6: By the way, our mom finally agreed to the idea
• 24:48
  Speaker 6: I had previously suggested about just dividing baking goods from
• 24:51
  Speaker 6: the beginning among whoever wants them in the future. If
• 24:55
  Speaker 6: a dozen muffins get baked, everyone will have three since
• 24:58
  Speaker 6: there are four people put into a container with their
• 25:01
  Speaker 6: name on it.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: There is now also a rule that whoever bakes has
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: to wash the dishes they use unless a different agreement
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: is made in advance.
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: Let's go add it to the SOP. I like it.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: The agreements are just crazy.
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: Your poor parents.
• 25:17
  Speaker 5: I want to talk to them.
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: Parents are just like, yep, that's good.
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: Oh, you want to do this?
• 25:22
  Speaker 4: All right.
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: Back to the old system. Oh, you want a new one?
• 25:24
  Speaker 6: Sure.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: Let's try that. It's just like they don't care. They're like,
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: figure it out.
• 25:29
  Speaker 4: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
• 25:31
  Speaker 4: the next one.
• 25:33
  Speaker 5: I decided to move out with my girlfriend, and my
• 25:35
  Speaker 5: mother threatened to disown me over it?
• 25:38
  Speaker 4: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: What are we doing here?
• 25:41
  Speaker 5: I'm 24 Mel, turning 25 years old in two days.
• 25:45
  Speaker 5: For the past almost six years since the age of 19...
• 25:48
  Speaker 5: I've been working at my parents' restaurant, 56 female and
• 25:52
  Speaker 5: 51 male, since it first opened. For the first three
• 25:55
  Speaker 5: to four years, it's been a great opportunity to learn
• 25:58
  Speaker 5: how not only to work at a restaurant, but also
• 26:01
  Speaker 5: how to run a business. I earned my bachelor's in
• 26:04
  Speaker 5: business management slash administrative on the side. Dude, this guy
• 26:09
  Speaker 5: comes with 30 years of experience.
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: That's nice.
• 26:12
  Speaker 5: However, I've gotten to a point where I want to
• 26:15
  Speaker 5: work somewhere else and start building my own life with
• 26:18
  Speaker 5: my partner. After applying to jobs for six months, I
• 26:21
  Speaker 5: just accepted a job offer for a sales management trainee
• 26:25
  Speaker 5: at Enterprise. I start July 20th. This will be my
• 26:28
  Speaker 5: first real job outside of my parents. I will tell
• 26:32
  Speaker 5: my parents the news this Monday, July 13th, my 25th
• 26:34
  Speaker 5: birthday is And I will also announce that I am
• 26:38
  Speaker 5: moving and will have my stuff moved by the end
• 26:40
  Speaker 5: of the week before I start my new job the
• 26:43
  Speaker 5: following Monday. I want to move into her apartment ASAP
• 26:46
  Speaker 5: and then propose within the next month or two.
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: Oh my, by the way, this comes from Dingo Bungo Dude.
• 26:52
  Speaker 5: And if you want to speak your own stories, go
• 26:54
  Speaker 5: to the r slash OK Storytime subreddit. I'm Riley.
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: And I'm Savannah.
• 26:58
  Speaker 5: And we're going to read this story. goofy story here
• 27:01
  Speaker 5: about this man moving 100 miles an hour towards life.
• 27:06
  Speaker 5: And if you have anything you'd like to add, please
• 27:07
  Speaker 5: let us know. I want to know when you got married.
• 27:09
  Speaker 5: It's probably going to be like 32 by the time
• 27:11
  Speaker 5: I get married.
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: I don't know if I'll ever get married, but I'm honestly,
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: I'm kind of cool with that.
• 27:16
  Speaker 5: Opie says, I've been with my girlfriend, 24 female, for
• 27:20
  Speaker 5: four and a half years. However, we did have a
• 27:22
  Speaker 5: five-month breakup. We broke up because I've been prioritizing my
• 27:26
  Speaker 5: family slash the restaurant. more over her, and this hurt
• 27:29
  Speaker 5: her deeply.
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: I see.
• 27:31
  Speaker 5: I see. This sounds like something you'd come back from.
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, of course.
• 27:36
  Speaker 6: I feel like, you know, it's only five months, and
• 27:38
  Speaker 6: if that's the biggest issue, now you're finding a new job.
• 27:41
  Speaker 5: Yeah! My mom would always be having me do chores
• 27:44
  Speaker 5: if I'm not at work, and her chores, needs, and
• 27:47
  Speaker 5: lectures would frequently cut time into my relationship. When we
• 27:51
  Speaker 5: broke up, I spiraled into heavy drinking, devil's lettuce smoking,
• 27:55
  Speaker 5: and some other substances. At my lowest point, I was
• 27:59
  Speaker 5: watching tons of corn and attempted to see escorts, but
• 28:03
  Speaker 5: I backed out every time. I even got escorted for
• 28:06
  Speaker 5: $ 1, 500 by one for backing out. I took an STD
• 28:10
  Speaker 5: test to prove that I didn't do anything. I was clean.
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: Dang. I mean, this guy does not stop. If anything,
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: Opie is determined.
• 28:19
  Speaker 5: My girlfriend texted me and said she'd like to see
• 28:21
  Speaker 5: me again, but just for coffee. We ended up talking
• 28:25
  Speaker 5: about everything that happened and decided to try again. My
• 28:28
  Speaker 5: girlfriend saw the pain I was in and reacted with
• 28:30
  Speaker 5: love and compassion, not judgment and scorn. This is how
• 28:34
  Speaker 5: I knew that she truly loved me. I saw a
• 28:37
  Speaker 5: TikTok today that said you're not picking your partner for
• 28:40
  Speaker 5: the best day of your life. You're picking your partner
• 28:42
  Speaker 5: for the worst day of your life because that's when
• 28:44
  Speaker 5: they're really going to be there.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: And that's truthfully very true. And that's really nice.
• 28:50
  Speaker 5: This time I realized I must fight for the life
• 28:53
  Speaker 5: that I truly want. I told my mom we got
• 28:55
  Speaker 5: back together and she flipped the F out. My parents
• 28:58
  Speaker 5: would guilt trip me. My mom especially would tell me
• 29:01
  Speaker 5: that I'm abandoning my family and ruining every holiday and
• 29:05
  Speaker 5: every time I've hinted at moving in with my girlfriend
• 29:08
  Speaker 5: or getting a new job. Both of my parents are
• 29:10
  Speaker 5: telling me we're not going to have a penny to
• 29:12
  Speaker 5: save and that we're wasting it all on rent. My
• 29:16
  Speaker 5: girlfriend is an RN and is making about $ 2, 600 bi-weekly.
• 29:21
  Speaker 5: She's able to save up $ 1, 000 a month alone. I
• 29:25
  Speaker 5: will be moving in and making roughly about $ 1, 700 bi-weekly.
• 29:29
  Speaker 5: I haven't started the job yet, but this is an
• 29:31
  Speaker 5: estimate based on my wage, the hours with overtime, and
• 29:35
  Speaker 5: a rough estimate after taxes. My parents are telling me
• 29:38
  Speaker 5: that I should tell my girlfriend to move into their
• 29:40
  Speaker 5: house once their lease is up you guys will actually
• 29:43
  Speaker 5: save a lot more money we won't bother you we
• 29:46
  Speaker 5: won't charge you rent etc mom you made me break
• 29:49
  Speaker 5: up with my girlfriend you're the reason we got broken
• 29:52
  Speaker 5: up mom I mean, I don't.
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: Think it was technically like she didn't say, oh, you
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: need to break up with her.
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: You know, never done that.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: Like she he was just more focused on the family business.
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: OK, cause and effect cause.
• 30:04
  Speaker 5: Do my chores do all these things affect break up
• 30:07
  Speaker 5: with girlfriend?
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: But now they're back together.
• 30:09
  Speaker 6: And honestly, I kind of agree with the parents. I mean,
• 30:11
  Speaker 6: they're trying to just save you money if they're. But
• 30:13
  Speaker 6: if if it's going to cause issues within the relationship,
• 30:17
  Speaker 6: then no.
• 30:18
  Speaker 5: My mom straight up told me that my girlfriend is
• 30:21
  Speaker 5: fat and a C word right to my face when
• 30:24
  Speaker 5: I told her that I was looking for a job
• 30:26
  Speaker 5: outside the restaurant and just want to move out because
• 30:29
  Speaker 5: it's just a job and not a career.
• 30:32
  Speaker 6: Nope.
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: And now I'm not moving in with you. That solidified it.
• 30:36
  Speaker 5: She accused her of being on substances because she had
• 30:39
  Speaker 5: a strong drink at a family wedding and threw up.
• 30:43
  Speaker 5: Everyone was drinking at the wedding and there were multiple
• 30:45
  Speaker 5: open bars. My mom brings up this incident from three
• 30:48
  Speaker 5: years ago to this day. She frequently calls my girlfriend
• 30:52
  Speaker 5: a control freak. Yeah, my partner who treats me with love, respect,
• 30:56
  Speaker 5: and autonomy a control freak? Sounds like heavy projection.
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: Oh, well.
• 31:01
  Speaker 5: Okay, he sees it.
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, this could have been bad. It looks like it's
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: going in the right direction.
• 31:06
  Speaker 5: Oh, here's dad's point of view. Dad tells me how
• 31:09
  Speaker 5: evil everyone is and that we're, my parents, me, and
• 31:12
  Speaker 5: my older brother, the only good people in this world.
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: However.
• 31:16
  Speaker 5: It seems that the outside world has treated me better
• 31:19
  Speaker 5: and more like an adult with dignity than my own family.
• 31:22
  Speaker 5: My brother, 26 male, has been good to me though.
• 31:25
  Speaker 5: He supports my relationship, respects my girlfriend, and treats her
• 31:28
  Speaker 5: like a sister. And she also treats him well too.
• 31:31
  Speaker 5: My girlfriend's family is also very nice and supportive of
• 31:34
  Speaker 5: my adulthood. I'm in an environment where I have to
• 31:37
  Speaker 5: walk on eggshells all the time. I'm constantly evaluated. Every choice,
• 31:43
  Speaker 5: every decision I make is a mistake, apparently. I know
• 31:47
  Speaker 5: I'm not right about everything and I know I'm going
• 31:49
  Speaker 5: to make some mistakes, but that's the beauty of doing
• 31:52
  Speaker 5: your own thing. Heck yes, dude.
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: This guy is very philosophical.
• 31:57
  Speaker 5: He's one of the good ones.
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: The only good one left, apparently.
• 32:00
  Speaker 5: I get to live up with the pros and cons
• 32:02
  Speaker 5: of my own decision as a 25-year-old man. You're 24.
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: You're 24.
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: Don't you do that.
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: No, he's 25 now. No, in two days he is.
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: He's 24.
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: He turned 25.
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: He said he's turning.
• 32:10
  Speaker 5: 25 in two days. He's still 24.
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: I swear he said.
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: Up, up.
• 32:21
  Speaker 5: You want to read it back? You want to read
• 32:23
  Speaker 5: it back? All right, here we go. I'm 24 male
• 32:25
  Speaker 5: turning 25 in two days.
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: Okay, but then in the middle of that, when he
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: tells his mom he wants to move out.
• 32:31
  Speaker 5: He said he wants to do it on his 25th birthday,
• 32:34
  Speaker 5: July 13th. He wrote this on July 11th.
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: Oh, so he hasn't. Okay.
• 32:39
  Speaker 5: Update. Today is my 25th birthday.
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: He made it.
• 32:45
  Speaker 5: I spent the weekend at my girlfriend's place. I came
• 32:47
  Speaker 5: back to work today to announce that I will be
• 32:49
  Speaker 5: leaving for a new job next week and starting to
• 32:53
  Speaker 5: move my stuff out.
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 32:55
  Speaker 5: My parents were okay with me changing jobs, but they
• 32:58
  Speaker 5: both don't agree with the move. My question, are you
• 33:01
  Speaker 5: paying rent to your parents?
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: I don't think so. I doubt it.
• 33:05
  Speaker 5: We don't know, but that's what I would like to know.
• 33:07
  Speaker 5: Because if he's paying like 500 or 600, 800 bucks
• 33:09
  Speaker 5: and he's leaving.
• 33:12
  Speaker 5: And they're running their own business, and I don't think
• 33:14
  Speaker 5: it's very profitable right now?
• 33:16
  Speaker 6: That's not his burden to bear. That's a family business.
• 33:19
  Speaker 6: He got out of the family business, and then he
• 33:21
  Speaker 6: found a new thing, and that shouldn't affect him at all.
• 33:24
  Speaker 5: My dad has been calm and respectful, although still strongly
• 33:28
  Speaker 5: discouraging me from moving. My mom, however, went crazy. Tons
• 33:32
  Speaker 5: of screaming, insults, guilt-tripping, and even threats. She took away
• 33:36
  Speaker 5: my birthday presents from her right in front of me?
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: Oh, dang.
• 33:41
  Speaker 6: Honestly, that'd probably be something my mom would do.
• 33:45
  Speaker 5: Dude, I got something to say after this. I talked
• 33:48
  Speaker 5: to my mom. So I had a conversation with my mom.
• 33:51
  Speaker 5: I was like, Mom, how come me and my brother
• 33:53
  Speaker 5: have already moved out and a lot of other people haven't?
• 33:55
  Speaker 5: And they're like, well, some parents like to have their
• 33:58
  Speaker 5: kids dependent on them. That's not how we roll. Nope,
• 34:02
  Speaker 5: not gonna do that.
• 34:03
  Speaker 6: My....
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: Mom likes to keep a leash on all of us.
• 34:08
  Speaker 5: My mother is threatening to disown me. She even threatened
• 34:11
  Speaker 5: to call the police on me for stealing the car.
• 34:13
  Speaker 5: In context, my current car is illegally under my dad's name,
• 34:17
  Speaker 5: but I'm a driver on the insurance. It's like a
• 34:19
  Speaker 5: company car that my parents help pay for as long
• 34:23
  Speaker 5: as I work at the restaurant. I promised my dad
• 34:25
  Speaker 5: that I would make sure they have the car back
• 34:27
  Speaker 5: by the end of the week, and he said that's fine.
• 34:29
  Speaker 5: I'm happy my dad has actually been pretty reasonable, unlike
• 34:33
  Speaker 5: my mom. My girlfriend and I will work on getting
• 34:35
  Speaker 5: a car loan for me. I was able to get
• 34:37
  Speaker 5: about half of my belongings, my birth certificate, and my social.
• 34:41
  Speaker 5: I couldn't find my passport. I think it's expired. This
• 34:44
  Speaker 5: whole thing has been an effing mess. At least it'll
• 34:47
  Speaker 5: be over soon. Update two. Okay, mom is still pissed,
• 34:51
  Speaker 5: but she at least apologized for threatening to call the
• 34:54
  Speaker 5: police and still gave me my birthday presents. Call the
• 34:57
  Speaker 5: police to get you to stay? Or the car thing?
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 35:00
  Speaker 5: I think it was a car thing.
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: It would have to be because you can't be like,
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: my son wants to move out.
• 35:05
  Speaker 3: He needs to sleep right here. This is his spot.
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: That's not illegal.
• 35:11
  Speaker 5: That makes me feel better, but it's been very hard
• 35:13
  Speaker 5: to deal with her. I got about half of my
• 35:15
  Speaker 5: stuff moved in last night. I will finish working at
• 35:18
  Speaker 5: the restaurant until Friday, but I will have everything moved
• 35:21
  Speaker 5: out by Friday night and start my new job Monday.
• 35:25
  Speaker 3: And he doesn't stop. If he wants something, he gets it.
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: That's true.
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: He's so, this guy's so encouraged by this.
• 35:32
  Speaker 3: But how do we just blow past the escort thing?
• 35:34
  Speaker 5: He just like mentioned it on the whim. You know
• 35:36
  Speaker 5: how crazy that is?
• 35:37
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 35:38
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I was thinking about hiring escorts and I just
• 35:40
  Speaker 5: couldn't do it. It's crazy, bro.
• 35:43
  Speaker 4: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
• 35:45
  Speaker 4: the next one.
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: Hey, it's Carly, Keon's girlfriend, here.
• 35:49
  Speaker 6: We're going to get back to the stories, but here's
• 35:51
  Speaker 6: three minutes of ads from our sponsors.
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: I treated myself to something expensive. My boyfriend tried to
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: take it away from me. Excuse me, my money, my rules. I,
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: 24 female, live with my boyfriend, 27 male. For some context,
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: we've been dating for four years and living together for
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: eight months. We live in an apartment I inherited along
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: with one more other house that I rent out and
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: some cash inheritance. Now on to the story. Me and
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: my boyfriend both love playing video games. We both have
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: full-time jobs, but still find time to play together as
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: well as separately with our own friends. He is a
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: much better player than I am. He plays tournaments and
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: competitions where I just play for fun. A few months ago,
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: my boyfriend started talking about some new PC and other
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: items he wanted to upgrade his setup and how he
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: was saving up for it. I was okay with it
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: since we have separate finances. He doesn't pay for the
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: utilities but splits groceries, which wasn't an issue because I
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: had extra income from the rental property. I thought I
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: could use my inheritance money and get myself an expensive
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: set upgrade as well. By the way, this comes from
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: Gamer Girl, Am I the A-hole? And if you want
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: okay story time subreddit.
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: I'm Sophia.
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: And I'm Savannah. And we're here to give good advice goofily,
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: but we don't have all the answers. We only know
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: what we do. So let us know what you would
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: do in the comments. I took suggestions from YouTube and
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: some friends. I scheduled the delivery for the day that
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: I knew he won't be home all day. The setup came,
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: they sent someone from the store to set it up
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: for me. I used the PC for a while and
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: it was amazing. My boyfriend came home during the evening
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: and saw my new PC. I was so excited to
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: see his reaction, but his face remained very dull. He
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: looked at me and asked why I was on my
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: side of the room. I told him because it's mine.
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: He asked me to confirm that I bought his dream
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: PC setup for myself. And I said, yeah. He got
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: visibly mad, but then said, it's useless for you. We
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: should just swap. You don't play well and won't be
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: able to use it to its full potential.
• 37:44
  Speaker 3: You could have mine.
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: At first, I just laughed. because I genuinely thought he
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: was joking. But when I realized he was being serious,
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: I told him, no, I said that I bought this
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: for me. He blew up at me and told me
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: that I need to buy the same one for him
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: as well. When I said, no, again, he started yelling
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: about how unfair I was being and how I wouldn't
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: be able to appreciate technology like that since I'm too
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: dumb to even understand the specs. By that point, I
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: was losing my crap, so I told him to get out.
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: He grabbed a few items and left to stay with
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: his best friend. Now his best friend and a few
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: other people are blowing up my phone saying that as
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: a girl I shouldn't own something so expensive that I
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: don't understand and I could buy him the same setup
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: since I can afford it due to the inheritance. don't
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: have any loans, so it's not like I'm saving the
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: money for something particular in the future, which is making
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: me doubt if I was the a-hole. No, him and
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: his friends are just misogynistic. And jealous beyond compare.
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, don't worry.
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: Edit, everyone's saying that it's kind of my fault for
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: buying the exact same setup he told me about and
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: flaunting it in his face. I do understand your point
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: and take responsibility for it, but he never really mentioned
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: any specific models. Like he would say how this brand
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: has launched some really powerful items in the past few years,
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: or how That brand is such amazing monitors. I did
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: know the brands he was referring to, but when it
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: came to purchasing, I depended on YouTube reviews and suggestions
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: from my gaming friend. Why would you not buy the
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: recommendations he said were good? Yeah, like then he, I
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: feel like this is a trap. Either way, he's going
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: to be upset. Yeah.
• 39:09
  Speaker 6: Like you could have taken all of his advice and
• 39:12
  Speaker 6: still got it for yourself and he would have been
• 39:13
  Speaker 6: mad and you could have taken his advice and got
• 39:15
  Speaker 6: it for him.
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: And I feel like he still would have found a
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: way to like be mad about it. This is lose-lose situation.
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: It was purely a coincidence that happened to be exactly
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: what he wanted. I do understand that I should have
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: been maybe more aware, but I genuinely didn't know that
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: it would offend him since I wasn't doing it out
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: of spite. Exactly.
• 39:33
  Speaker 6: As a partner, you don't do things out of spite
• 39:35
  Speaker 6: and he shouldn't take it that way. You wanted a
• 39:37
  Speaker 6: new gaming system. You had enough money. You did, you know,
• 39:40
  Speaker 6: you happen to get the one that he wanted. Why
• 39:42
  Speaker 6: isn't he happy for you?
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: That's weird. If anything, at the back of my mind,
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: I had thought that We could have twin setups eventually
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: and make cheesy TikTok videos on weekends. Well, you're just
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: going to be making a video on your breakup. So
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: there is an update. What do you think?
• 39:57
  Speaker 3: I think it's over.
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah. He is a censored word that I cannot say.
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I hate him.
• 40:03
  Speaker 6: The fact that like, even if I got the same
• 40:05
  Speaker 6: thing as you, why are you not happy about?
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: I'd be like, oh my gosh. Yeah, we get to
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: play together. Like, oh my gosh, you got such a
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: cool model. That's exactly what I wanted. No way you
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: got it.
• 40:14
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: Could I like play it once? Yeah, could I borrow?
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: No.
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: Could I see if I would like it?
• 40:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: Or like, oh my gosh, we could play together. You know,
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: all this stuff. No, he immediately. He called you stupid.
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: He said you were too dumb to know how to
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: use it.
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 40:26
  Speaker 6: He's like, you're not even that good at video games.
• 40:28
  Speaker 6: You won't even use it to its full potential.
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: There is an update though. It's 11 PM here right now.
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: And I'm kind of shocked at everything that happened today.
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: I made the original post in the morning before I
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: left for work. While I was at work, I received
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: an alert for my security system. I checked my front
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: door cam and saw my boyfriend at the door walking
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: in with his keys. Something didn't feel right, so I
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: checked the camera in our game room. We set it
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: up months ago because he wanted us to do streams.
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: I had set it up this morning before leaving just
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: in case. Now I feel so much better that I did.
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: I see him trying to unplug my monitor and I
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: immediately call the police. By the time I reached home,
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: two officers are waiting outside my door with my boyfriend.
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: He claimed that he was just at the apartment to
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: get some stuff like clothes and other essentials. I had
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: no energy to argue, so I just showed the camera
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: footage and he starts apologizing. He goes on and on
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: about how his friends riled him up to steal my
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: system to teach me a lesson. That's not illegal. Oh,
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: so police, police, you just admitted. Yeah, what bothers me
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: the most is that all this while he hadn't texted
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: me once. Not a single call or anything. His first
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: instinct was to break into my apartment. The cops asked
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: me if I wanted to press charges and I said no.
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: I know most of you will not be happy with this,
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: but I kind of want to be done with this thing.
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: Get out of there.
• 41:42
  Speaker 3: Get out of there.
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: I know you inherited that apartment, but... Oh, well, no,
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: you could just change the locks. That's true. Yeah, you
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: could just change the locks. duh but we got a
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: little bit left i asked for my key back and
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: told him that i will send his pc and other
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: stuff to whatever address he wants later but i don't
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: want him or his friends to come over and if
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: i receive a single accusatory text from him or friends
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: then i will go ahead and press charges he kept
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: trying to apologize but i stood my ground i'm genuinely
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: surprised at how i didn't break down in front of
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: him I'm still in disbelief at how my four year
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: long relationship just crumbled in 24 hours. I called my
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: mom and she's on her way to my place. She'll
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: be staying the night as I no longer feel safe
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: in my own home. I just want to thank everyone
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: who texted me and gave me advice. I'm taking the
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: day off tomorrow and I will be changing the locks
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: and sending him his stuff back tomorrow. And that's the
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: end of that story. Good thinking. You survived and you
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: got a new PC out of it. Yeah, just keep his.
• 42:38
  Speaker 4: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
• 42:40
  Speaker 4: the next one.
• 42:41
  Speaker 6: My boyfriend expected me to pick up after him. He
• 42:44
  Speaker 6: called it showing love. Why don't you show yourself out? I,
• 42:48
  Speaker 6: 23 female, have been with my boyfriend, 29 male, for
• 42:51
  Speaker 6: one and a half years now. And we recently moved
• 42:53
  Speaker 6: in together. I'm hoping to get some advice on the
• 42:56
  Speaker 6: division of household labor and what's considered... as this is
• 43:00
  Speaker 6: my first time living with a partner. First of all,
• 43:02
  Speaker 6: I am so excited to be living with my boyfriend.
• 43:05
  Speaker 6: Waking up in the same space every day is what
• 43:07
  Speaker 6: I have dreamed of, and it's so nice to be
• 43:09
  Speaker 6: able to come home and know that he will be there.
• 43:11
  Speaker 6: That being said, we've lived together for about three months now,
• 43:15
  Speaker 6: and I'm realizing that we have a Huge difference of
• 43:18
  Speaker 6: opinions on how household chores should be handled. Should we
• 43:21
  Speaker 6: have discussed this before moving in together?
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: Absolutely.
• 43:24
  Speaker 6: And I now feel silly for not doing so. I
• 43:27
  Speaker 6: had this mistaken impression that things would kind of fall
• 43:29
  Speaker 6: into place and we would help each other out and
• 43:31
  Speaker 6: adhere to common sense cleaning practices.
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: Boy, was I wrong. Basically, my boyfriend does not clean.
• 43:38
  Speaker 6: I learned after the first two weeks that if I
• 43:41
  Speaker 6: didn't clean something, it would just sit there indefinitely. Mail
• 43:44
  Speaker 6: piling up on the counter, dishes crowding the sink, trash
• 43:48
  Speaker 6: can overflowing. I'm a pretty easygoing person, so I can
• 43:51
  Speaker 6: handle clutter and not be phased, but this is really frustrating.
• 43:54
  Speaker 6: He seemed enthusiastic and nice enough when I asked him
• 43:57
  Speaker 6: to clean certain things, but then he just wouldn't do
• 44:00
  Speaker 6: it we recently got into an argument about this and
• 44:02
  Speaker 6: i'm wondering if my boyfriend's overall attitude slash perspective is
• 44:07
  Speaker 6: one that's just totally unreasonable by the way this comes
• 44:10
  Speaker 6: from both tells 75 19 and if you want to
• 44:12
  Speaker 6: spend your own stories go to the r slash showcase
• 44:14
  Speaker 6: story time subreddit i'm savannah i'm sophia and we had
• 44:17
  Speaker 6: to talk about some stuff get some advice you better
• 44:19
  Speaker 6: tell us what you do because we're going to tell
• 44:21
  Speaker 6: us what we're doing i asked him how we could
• 44:23
  Speaker 6: more effectively divide up household responsibilities so things stay clean
• 44:27
  Speaker 6: and organized Again, I don't care about having a perfect home,
• 44:30
  Speaker 6: just a decent one.
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: Life happens and I like a place that looks lived in.
• 44:34
  Speaker 6: And he told me that if he was being blunt
• 44:36
  Speaker 6: and honest, he thought cleaning was a waste of his
• 44:39
  Speaker 6: time and mental energy. And if he has to focus
• 44:42
  Speaker 6: on slash think about cleaning, he's draining valuable mental energy
• 44:46
  Speaker 6: that could be put towards his side hustle projects.
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: And immediately I'm saying, well, I don't want to live
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: in a house that's dirty. So you have two options.
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: You move out or you get a cleaner.
• 44:56
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: Because that's why people hire cleaners, because they're like, well,
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: I don't my time would be better off spend doing that.
• 45:01
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 45:02
  Speaker 5: OK, good.
• 45:03
  Speaker 6: So then spend the time doing that. But either your
• 45:05
  Speaker 6: home's going to be nasty or you hire someone.
• 45:07
  Speaker 5: To do it.
• 45:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: You either have to spend the time or the money. True.
• 45:10
  Speaker 6: He is trying to start his own company, but rarely,
• 45:13
  Speaker 6: if ever, actually works on it. He then outright said
• 45:16
  Speaker 6: he expects me to pick up after him and that
• 45:18
  Speaker 6: in doing so, I'm showing my love and respect. This
• 45:22
  Speaker 6: all sent me reeling. And I've been kind of keeping
• 45:25
  Speaker 6: my distance and figuring out what I should do. Don't
• 45:27
  Speaker 6: want to spend any portion of my life cleaning up
• 45:29
  Speaker 6: after a grown man. But this attitude from my boyfriend
• 45:32
  Speaker 6: is truly shocking. And that's why I'm struggling with it
• 45:35
  Speaker 6: and wondering if it's a deal breaker or if we
• 45:38
  Speaker 6: can work through it and come to a compromise. I've
• 45:40
  Speaker 6: always known and seen him as a very progressive person
• 45:43
  Speaker 6: who actively fights against old school violence. misogynistic mindsets, and
• 45:47
  Speaker 6: believes in a more utopian world where gender differences don't
• 45:51
  Speaker 6: define us.
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he's like, it's not because you're a woman, it's
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: because I'm better than you.
• 45:55
  Speaker 6: His attitude is a total 180 from his usual take
• 45:58
  Speaker 6: on life and the world. If you're wondering how I
• 46:01
  Speaker 6: never picked up on any of this before we moved
• 46:03
  Speaker 6: in together... He lived with his parents and their house
• 46:06
  Speaker 6: was always spotless. I'm now suspicious that his mom was
• 46:09
  Speaker 6: doing all the cleaning. Nowadays, I feel like people live
• 46:12
  Speaker 6: with their parents for a while until moving out just
• 46:15
  Speaker 6: because of financial reasons and stuff, which I understand. But
• 46:18
  Speaker 6: if you're doing it because you want mommy to pick
• 46:21
  Speaker 6: up after you and you come home to a clean
• 46:23
  Speaker 6: room and clean underwear because you can't. you're too lazy
• 46:26
  Speaker 6: to do it yourself that is a red flag.
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: And genuinely anyone out there if you know like a
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: guy who has been living at home and he's you
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: know almost 30 you should ask his mom who does
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: the cleaning just be like oh like hey does he
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: ever help you who cleans.
• 46:41
  Speaker 6: So yeah, my question is, have you ever dealt with
• 46:43
  Speaker 6: something like this? And is it possible to reason with
• 46:46
  Speaker 6: someone and come to an agreement slash compromise?
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: What might that compromise look like? Is this a lost cause?
• 46:52
  Speaker 6: I love my boyfriend so much, but this has tarnished
• 46:54
  Speaker 6: my respect for him and I just feel awful.
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: Update eight days later. I have since left the relationship. Yeah,
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: I suspected that.
• 47:04
  Speaker 6: Staying with my parents until I can effectively get the
• 47:07
  Speaker 6: lease broken. And I came back to Reddit to read
• 47:10
  Speaker 6: through the comments and remind myself that I made the
• 47:12
  Speaker 6: right choice. I told him as nicely as I could
• 47:15
  Speaker 6: that I didn't think he was acting like an adult
• 47:17
  Speaker 6: and that we needed to come up with a solution
• 47:19
  Speaker 6: where we were both contributing to household responsibilities. I suggested
• 47:23
  Speaker 6: we both decide on chores we prefer doing to divide
• 47:26
  Speaker 6: things up evenly. Example, I handle laundry, he handles vacuuming
• 47:30
  Speaker 6: or whatever. Or we could agree on a general standard
• 47:32
  Speaker 6: of cleanliness to help each other follow and uphold. His
• 47:36
  Speaker 6: response was that this would make him feel like we
• 47:38
  Speaker 6: were roommates.
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: And not partners.
• 47:40
  Speaker 6: I tried to get him to explain this to me
• 47:42
  Speaker 6: in more detail, but this devolved into him telling me
• 47:45
  Speaker 6: that I'm starting to feel like a burden to him
• 47:47
  Speaker 6: And that moving in together was a huge mistake.
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: You're feeling like a burden to him?
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 47:52
  Speaker 6: He's a little man baby. Because he can't put his, like,
• 47:57
  Speaker 6: laundry in the hamper.
• 47:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: Because he can't fold and dry his own clothes. Clean
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: some dishes.
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: He can't vacuum the floor once in a while.
• 48:04
  Speaker 6: It felt like I was talking to someone I didn't
• 48:06
  Speaker 6: even know or recognize.
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: He told me, what good are you to me if
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: you can't clean and take care of me? And that
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: was the final straw for me. I mean, that was
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: completely the right decision. Yeah, I agree. I back you 1000%, OP.
• 48:20
  Speaker 6: I truly feel like moving in together brought out a
• 48:22
  Speaker 6: side in my ex-boyfriend. that I never knew existed. How
• 48:26
  Speaker 6: did I not see this before? How did my gut
• 48:28
  Speaker 6: pick up on it? I feel really sad and I
• 48:31
  Speaker 6: worry that I actually projected all of my loving feelings
• 48:33
  Speaker 6: onto the relationship and failed to realize how he felt
• 48:36
  Speaker 6: towards me. I feel disrespected and totally haunted by the
• 48:39
  Speaker 6: entire situation. I haven't stopped crying for three days. Thank
• 48:42
  Speaker 6: you again to everyone who helped me see the situation
• 48:45
  Speaker 6: for what it was. And thank you for reading. Maybe
• 48:47
  Speaker 6: all the details of this don't matter or are only
• 48:50
  Speaker 6: really important to me, but being able to share this
• 48:52
  Speaker 6: here is really helpful to my current state of pain. Aww.
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: Not your current state of pain, OP. You know what?
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: Go you, though. Because you saw the problem and immediately
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: handled it.
• 49:02
  Speaker 3: Exactly.
• 49:03
  Speaker 6: And we read so many stories that people are just
• 49:05
  Speaker 6: complicit or just like, I know a lot of you
• 49:07
  Speaker 6: said for me to do it, but I just couldn't.
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: So I've been in the relationship for 10 years. Yeah.
• 49:13
  Speaker 4: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
• 49:15
  Speaker 4: the next one.
• 49:16
  Speaker 3: I refuse to move.
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: Into my boyfriend's dream apartment because his parents live next door.
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: Ew, I hate them!
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: Me, female 22, and my boyfriend, male 22, are moving
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: in together. We've been apartment hunting this week and found
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: a couple suitable options. There's one apartment I really like,
• 49:31
  Speaker 2: apartment 1, that is around 110 square meters.
• 49:35
  Speaker 3: And rent would be $ 1, 400.
• 49:36
  Speaker 2: This apartment is located in a nice neighborhood around 10
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: blocks from my parents' house. I like this apartment because
• 49:42
  Speaker 2: the price is good for the size and location and
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: it's also.
• 49:45
  Speaker 3: quite pretty. My boyfriend, however, prefers.
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: Another apartment, apartment two, that's around 140 square meters and
• 49:51
  Speaker 2: rent is around 1600. The apartment's in the middle of
• 49:55
  Speaker 2: the city we live in and literally next door to
• 49:57
  Speaker 2: his parents' house. As in, if we sit at the
• 49:59
  Speaker 2: balcony and look to the right, we can see and
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: talk to his parents on their own balcony. My issue
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: with apartment two is that it's not very nice looking
• 50:07
  Speaker 2: on the inside. It's an older building, so the tiles
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: in the kitchen and bathrooms are very out dated, and worn.
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: It comes with some furniture even my grandma would have
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: gotten rid of already. The kitchen is all mismatched as
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: if it was fixed by someone who took apart another
• 50:20
  Speaker 2: kitchen and reused the parts.
• 50:22
  Speaker 3: And by the way, this comes from The Two Shoes Girl.
• 50:25
  Speaker 3: And if you want to submit your own stories, go
• 50:27
  Speaker 3: to our subreddit. I'm Dakota.
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: And I'm Savannah.
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: And we're going to read this story and have our thoughts.
• 50:32
  Speaker 2: And you get to have yours in the comments. It's
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: overall not a nice looking apartment. And for me to
• 50:36
  Speaker 2: be happy in it, I would need to change pretty
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: much everything. I'm an interior designer. The look of my
• 50:40
  Speaker 2: own apartment is important to me. But that would also
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: be quite expensive to do. And there are certain things
• 50:46
  Speaker 2: we wouldn't be able to change because it's a rental
• 50:48
  Speaker 2: and the owner would not allow it. But my boyfriend
• 50:50
  Speaker 2: still really wants it because it's very center of the city,
• 50:53
  Speaker 2: close to where he does language classes and a big
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: supermarket he likes to shop at. And apartment one would
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: be about a kilometer or two away from these things.
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: He uses his mom's car, but she said he can't
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: take it if he moves out, even if she does
• 51:06
  Speaker 2: not drive. Apartment one is not available for visitation yet,
• 51:09
  Speaker 2: and apartment two needs to be rented today or tomorrow.
• 51:12
  Speaker 2: I need an answer soon, and I'm afraid I'm being
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: unreasonable if I say no.
• 51:17
  Speaker 3: There's an update four days later.
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: You're both living in this apartment, so one, you both
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: have a say in it.
• 51:22
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: And two, if you don't want to live by his parents,
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: just say that.
• 51:25
  Speaker 3: You also don't have to move in together.
• 51:27
  Speaker 6: I mean, or just be like, okay, we can't pick
• 51:30
  Speaker 6: out of these two. Let's look for another one. But
• 51:32
  Speaker 6: I'm sure you've gone through like, you know, a billion
• 51:34
  Speaker 6: apartments already being like, this one, this one, this one.
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: So I get the struggle, but.
• 51:38
  Speaker 2: Well, I doubt it's... I don't actually think that because
• 51:40
  Speaker 2: they said we've been apartment hunting for the last week.
• 51:42
  Speaker 3: So it's only been a week. Keep hunting. That's what
• 51:44
  Speaker 3: I would say. Just keep looking.
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: I met with my boyfriend the day I made the
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: post and we had a very long discussion about the
• 51:49
  Speaker 2: whole apartment situation. And by the end of it, we
• 51:51
  Speaker 2: decided to go with apartment one. I must point out
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: that at this point, we had not seen any of
• 51:56
  Speaker 2: the apartments in person, only through pictures. We had a
• 51:58
  Speaker 2: scheduled visit for apartment two the next morning and we
• 52:01
  Speaker 2: didn't know when apartment one would be available for visitation.
• 52:04
  Speaker 2: Morning comes and we visit apartment two. We didn't want
• 52:06
  Speaker 2: to cancel last minute and it was not as bad
• 52:08
  Speaker 2: as the pictures made it look. My boyfriend absolutely loved
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: it and I was pleasantly surprised by it. After we leave,
• 52:14
  Speaker 2: I get a call that apartment one is available for
• 52:17
  Speaker 2: visitation and we could go in immediately.
• 52:19
  Speaker 3: So off we went and saw that one too. It
• 52:21
  Speaker 3: was not Very good.
• 52:22
  Speaker 2: Pictures of apartments really are deceiving, y'all. It felt very small,
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: despite it saying it was 110 square meters. The bedrooms
• 52:30
  Speaker 2: were so tiny our bed barely fit in the master one,
• 52:32
  Speaker 2: and our closet and desk did not fit in the
• 52:35
  Speaker 2: second one. Also, the balcony was over a neighbor's house,
• 52:37
  Speaker 2: and we could fully see into their living room, which
• 52:40
  Speaker 2: is kind of awkward. It also probably had very thin
• 52:42
  Speaker 2: walls as we could hear children running around and yelling
• 52:45
  Speaker 2: as if they were.
• 52:45
  Speaker 3: In our own apartment.
• 52:46
  Speaker 2: So we both said no to apartment one and ended
• 52:49
  Speaker 2: up going with apartment two.
• 52:50
  Speaker 3: We had a meeting with the.
• 52:51
  Speaker 2: Owner and he assured us he would get rid of
• 52:53
  Speaker 2: any unwanted furniture and we were welcome to renovate any
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: part of the apartment and he would give us a
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: discount on the rent to cover the costs.
• 53:00
  Speaker 3: That's sick.
• 53:01
  Speaker 5: Cool landlord alert.
• 53:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, what?
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: Nobody freaking does that.
• 53:03
  Speaker 3: Cool landlord alert.
• 53:05
  Speaker 2: We're working up a contract and will most likely be
• 53:07
  Speaker 2: signing the lease this week. We already have the keys
• 53:09
  Speaker 2: and everything. In regards of my in-laws, we sat down
• 53:12
  Speaker 2: with them for dinner. and we set clear boundaries. We'll
• 53:16
  Speaker 2: be covering the part of the balcony that overlooks theirs,
• 53:19
  Speaker 2: and they will not be getting a copy of our keys,
• 53:21
  Speaker 2: and they are not to expect visits from us too often.
• 53:25
  Speaker 2: I'm hopeful and excited at the prospect of this apartment,
• 53:27
  Speaker 2: and even though 98% of you guys told me to
• 53:29
  Speaker 2: run for the hills, I have a good feeling I
• 53:31
  Speaker 2: made the right decision. We just talk about how stupid
• 53:34
  Speaker 2: the internet is sometimes. They're like, run for the hills.
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: They probably think, oh, he's a mama's boy.
• 53:40
  Speaker 6: He doesn't want to be away from his parents and
• 53:43
  Speaker 6: he needs them. And they're just going to be over
• 53:45
  Speaker 6: your apartment, taking over everything anyway.
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: You know, but I mean, it just so happens that
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: they just live right there.
• 53:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Like you have the conversation.
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: You go, hey, we need to set boundaries with your
• 53:55
  Speaker 2: parents so that we still have, you know, independence. Because
• 53:58
  Speaker 2: even though we live next to them, we don't live
• 53:59
  Speaker 2: with them. And if he goes, but, but, but, but,
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: but my mommy's lasagna, she's going to come over and
• 54:04
  Speaker 2: make lasagna every day.
• 54:06
  Speaker 3: Then you go, all right, well, that's not really my vibe.
• 54:09
  Speaker 6: But I think that you, you set clear boundaries from
• 54:11
  Speaker 6: the beginning. So if they don't listen after that, then
• 54:14
  Speaker 6: it's time to be stern.
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: I have a good feeling I made the right decision.
• 54:18
  Speaker 2: Thank you all for your time and your judgment. And
• 54:20
  Speaker 2: unlike your recommendations, we did go with apartment two. Comment
• 54:23
  Speaker 2: number one says, look forward to Am I the A-hole
• 54:26
  Speaker 2: for being annoyed that boyfriend's parents are always in my apartment?
• 54:28
  Speaker 3: Opie says, hopefully I won't have to do that. Yeah,
• 54:30
  Speaker 3: hopefully not.
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I hope it works out.
• 54:32
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 54:33
  Speaker 2: Like, yeah, they can't just like barge in and have
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: their own keys. But it's like, if they're just there,
• 54:37
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: Like, what if they want to do a little smexy time?
• 54:40
  Speaker 3: What are you talking about? What?
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: Talking about if, like, the parents just end up in
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: their house.
• 54:46
  Speaker 3: Banging?
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: No, and OP and boyfriend want to go.
• 54:50
  Speaker 3: Well, that's what I'm saying. They don't have keys.
• 54:51
  Speaker 6: Oh.
• 54:52
  Speaker 3: I'm just saying. It's like, you'll probably see them a little.
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, you're going to see them.
• 54:57
  Speaker 3: They're your neighbors.
• 54:57
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 54:58
  Speaker 3: What in the heck are you talking about? Well, that's
• 55:00
  Speaker 3: the end of that story.
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: My boyfriend keeps lecturing me, even on the subject I
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: got my master's in.
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: Hey, who's the master here?
• 55:08
  Speaker 2: My boyfriend, 27 male, and I, 26 female, have been
• 55:11
  Speaker 2: together eight months, mostly long distance. I'm in his city
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: for the next couple months for a work placement.
• 55:17
  Speaker 3: It's great. We're seeing each other more frequently.
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: But I've been feeling a little down about it, and
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: I finally realized it's because he speechifies.
• 55:27
  Speaker 3: We had a fantastic date.
• 55:29
  Speaker 2: Night last night and it was because he was more
• 55:32
  Speaker 2: out of his own head and we were actually having
• 55:34
  Speaker 2: conversations together instead of him explaining things to me.
• 55:38
  Speaker 3: It's how he shares his interests.
• 55:39
  Speaker 2: So he usually goes into some minute detail about his
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: work or hobby and explains it in detail. Often it's
• 55:46
  Speaker 2: not relevant to a story or anything. He just enjoys
• 55:49
  Speaker 2: explaining things and talking about his passions.
• 55:52
  Speaker 3: Usually I let it go.
• 55:53
  Speaker 2: So it means 70% of our conversations are him talking
• 55:57
  Speaker 2: to me about how XYZ thing works. And on rare occasions,
• 56:01
  Speaker 2: he even explains simple things or things which are in
• 56:04
  Speaker 2: my field of study.
• 56:05
  Speaker 3: I'll point it out.
• 56:06
  Speaker 2: I'll say, uh-huh, I know how to do simple X task,
• 56:09
  Speaker 2: or I actually did my master's on that, remember? But
• 56:12
  Speaker 2: it has the effect of bumming him out because he
• 56:15
  Speaker 2: feels like I don't care about his hobbies, making him embarrassed,
• 56:19
  Speaker 2: which is good. He should feel a little sheepish about
• 56:21
  Speaker 2: explaining my own field to me. And he doesn't seem
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: to register it and kind of just keeps on going.
• 56:27
  Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Not Excused. If you
• 56:29
  Speaker 2: want to submit your own stories, go to our subreddit.
• 56:31
  Speaker 3: I'm Dakota.
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: I'm Savannah.
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: We're going to read this mansplainer story, and I'm going
• 56:36
  Speaker 2: to mansplain my own perspective on it.
• 56:38
  Speaker 3: How about you, Savannah?
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: No, I'm a woman. I can't do that.
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: Well, let us know what you think about this story
• 56:44
  Speaker 2: in the comments and OP says. From what I can tell,
• 56:47
  Speaker 2: it's how he interacts with everyone and how he fills
• 56:50
  Speaker 2: the silence. I'm guessing it's from how his dad talks
• 56:53
  Speaker 2: to him. Their conversations are basically just explaining things back
• 56:56
  Speaker 2: and forth to each other, even though they both know
• 56:59
  Speaker 2: it because their work is the same. He's a little
• 57:01
  Speaker 2: awkward and lacks social awareness and he's neurotic, but I
• 57:05
  Speaker 2: know he's a great guy who cares a lot and
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: is passionate about his interests. He's really sweet and his
• 57:09
  Speaker 2: heart is in the right place on the left side
• 57:12
  Speaker 2: of his body cavity. And there's hope because when he
• 57:15
  Speaker 2: does get out of his own head, we do have
• 57:18
  Speaker 2: great mutual conversations. I'm also worried to introduce him to
• 57:21
  Speaker 2: my parents because I'm almost certain he'll do the same
• 57:23
  Speaker 2: thing to them instead of asking them what they do.
• 57:26
  Speaker 2: and otherwise making small talk. How do I bring this
• 57:29
  Speaker 2: up without hurting him and so that he understands how
• 57:32
  Speaker 2: speechifying or over-explaining as conversation is more condescending and feels
• 57:37
  Speaker 2: like I'm watching a speech instead of having a conversation
• 57:41
  Speaker 2: with or listening.
• 57:42
  Speaker 3: To a story about my boyfriend?
• 57:44
  Speaker 2: Like if he could be saying the exact same words
• 57:47
  Speaker 2: in a class presentation and he's already been talking for
• 57:50
  Speaker 2: 20 minutes.
• 57:51
  Speaker 3: He might want to modify a smidge. There's an update.
• 57:54
  Speaker 3: Oh my God, this guy rants for 20 minutes at
• 57:57
  Speaker 3: a time.
• 57:58
  Speaker 6: I think he might have some neurodiversions here.
• 58:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah, probably.
• 58:03
  Speaker 6: Yeah, where he doesn't take into consideration like social cues
• 58:08
  Speaker 6: or anything. And it's just like everything I'm saying is really,
• 58:10
  Speaker 6: really interesting and everyone needs to know. And if I
• 58:12
  Speaker 6: don't explain it right, nobody will know what I'm talking about.
• 58:14
  Speaker 6: So I'm going to over explain it.
• 58:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean.
• 58:16
  Speaker 1: And then it becomes like a.
• 58:17
  Speaker 6: Whole like, oh, my God, I'm getting a lecture on
• 58:20
  Speaker 6: things I already know. I, for one, have never ranted
• 58:23
  Speaker 6: about anything.
• 58:24
  Speaker 3: And that's a lie. I rant about everything.
• 58:26
  Speaker 2: I'll catch myself after like a couple minutes instead of 20.
• 58:29
  Speaker 3: Me too. And I'll go, oh my God, I'm sorry.
• 58:32
  Speaker 3: Is this the worst? Am I being the worst right now?
• 58:35
  Speaker 3: I'll stop.
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And then I'm like, okay, I've talked about myself.
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: How are you doing? What do you do? What things
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: can I get from you now?
• 58:42
  Speaker 2: Well, there's a two month update. We had a few
• 58:45
  Speaker 2: conversations about how he spoke to me. One time he
• 58:48
  Speaker 2: started getting emotional and then turned it back on himself
• 58:50
  Speaker 2: about how he can't explain himself well, instead of acknowledging
• 58:54
  Speaker 2: how hurtful it was to me. I spent the hour
• 58:56
  Speaker 2: after making him feel cared for and abandoning the goal
• 59:00
  Speaker 2: of the conversation. The second time was much more productive,
• 59:02
  Speaker 2: but nothing changed. There were other contributing factors, like upcoming
• 59:06
  Speaker 2: long distance and difference of hobbies, and he wasn't taking
• 59:08
  Speaker 2: care of himself physically like he wouldn't brush his teeth.
• 59:11
  Speaker 2: But ultimately, I broke up with him. It's been three
• 59:14
  Speaker 2: weeks now. There was a lot of good in the relationship.
• 59:16
  Speaker 2: He was kind and giving and an amazing adventure buddy,
• 59:20
  Speaker 2: but I felt alone and anxious, and like he didn't
• 59:22
  Speaker 2: care to know about me, even though he was a
• 59:24
  Speaker 2: good listener. I need someone who shows act Interest I
• 59:28
  Speaker 2: cried the day of But ever since It feels like
• 59:30
  Speaker 2: a weight Has been lifted I've been chatting on Some
• 59:33
  Speaker 2: dating apps Ew gross Get off of those And I
• 59:36
  Speaker 2: am now Much more aware of people who just talk
• 59:39
  Speaker 2: about themselves. And I'm having some good conversations, though I
• 59:42
  Speaker 2: haven't met up with anyone yet. I'm hopeful for a
• 59:45
  Speaker 2: partner who will be a little.
• 59:46
  Speaker 3: More similar to me in communication. And that is the
• 59:48
  Speaker 3: end of that story, folks. The apps are the worst.
• 59:51
  Speaker 3: Get off the apps. Just start talking to strangers.
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: I mean, even that is hard. It's just, it'll happen
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: when it happens.
• 59:56
  Speaker 3: You know what's the best advice I ever heard for
• 59:58
  Speaker 3: talking to strangers?
• 59:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah, what?
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 2: Just let it be nothing. Let it be bad. Try
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 2: to strike up a conversation if it goes absolutely nowhere
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 2: and that's not your friend now or you don't.
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 3: Know, whatever. Just be comfortable having a nothing burger with somebody.
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 4: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 4: the next one.
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 3: Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite good time boy host here.
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 2: We're going to get back to the stories, but here's
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 2: three minutes of ads from our sponsors.
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 6: My boyfriend no longer wants to wait for marriage after
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 6: making me hope.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 5: Oh, he wants to bang?
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 6: I've been with my boyfriend, 20 males, since we were
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 6: 13 and 15.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: He's the love of my life. He's attractive. Out of
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: my league, honestly. Kind, empathetic, honest, intelligent, and mature. He's
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: everything I've ever wanted.
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 6: I know this sounds silly, but he means so much
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 6: to me.
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 1: I come from a not-so-good background, so... He's the light
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 1: of my life.
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 6: When we were 15 and 17, we decided that we'd
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 6: wait till we were married to have spicy sleep.
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 3: His idea.
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 1: And I agreed.
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 6: He's been so respectful of my boundaries. Never has he
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 6: ever pressured me to do anything. But our relationship has
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 6: been a bit strained this past year. In my senior
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 6: year of high school, he was already in college in
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 6: a different state. I feel like the distance harmed us.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 6: This summer, he came back to visit me for June
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 6: to July 4th. Throughout his visit, he didn't sound like himself.
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 6: We ended up having a long discussion.
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: About our relationship.
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 6: He said that he felt like we were growing apart
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 6: physically and emotionally. He didn't want to wait for marriage anymore.
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 6: The idea of it didn't sit right with him. I
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 6: was crying at this point and asked if he wanted
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 6: to have spicy sleep with me. He said, no, he
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 6: didn't want me to force myself to do something just
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 6: to have him stay.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from Lily Crow 0214.
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 6: And if you want to submit your own stories, go
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 6: to the r slash okay story time subreddit.
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: I'm Savannah.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 3: I'm Dakota.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 6: And we're here to talk about some stuff, get some advice,
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 6: what your job is to do the same thing, but
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 6: in the comments. He said he'll always love me, but
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 6: that he just wanted to have a short break. I
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 6: asked if he met someone else in his college, but
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 6: he said no. think he has met someone and has
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 6: already had spicy sleep.
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 2: I mean honestly it's possible but i feel like it's
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 2: equally possible that he's realized that that's just what he
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 2: wants and he's like i gotta i gotta end this
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 2: i don't.
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 6: Know he reaffirmed that he loved me but that he
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 6: needed some time alone for himself he said that being
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 6: apart has made him view things values intimacy etc differently
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 6: he then packed up said goodbye to me my family
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 6: his family and left I've been crying four days non-stop.
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 4: Food.
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 6: Mashed potatoes, grilled chicken, fried onions, and garlic green beans.
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 6: Update three days later. It's been so freaking hard trying
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 6: to move on from my 18 female five-year relationship with
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 6: my ex, 20 male. I still love him so much.
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 6: He drove five hours down from his campus to see me.
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 6: My parents are letting him stay.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: For the weekend.
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 6: I told him he should have called, but he said
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 6: he needed to see me in person. He apologized for
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 6: breaking up with me. He lied about wanting to break up.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 6: While being away at college, his mind kept telling him
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 6: that he didn't deserve me. He has depression and anxiety,
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 6: which is weird since I feel like he's out of
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 6: my league. He's so convinced that I'd be better off
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 6: without him. He said he's ashamed for acting selfishly, being dishonest,
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 6: and letting his insecurities take over. He then gave me
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 6: his phone to check in case I didn't believe him
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 6: about the no cheating. I didn't find any evidence of
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 6: him cheating. I was very thorough. But I did find
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 6: a private photo album of me he made. He named
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 6: it My lovely Lilybee. The pictures and videos reminded me
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 6: of when we were happy. I don't understand why he
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 6: feels like he doesn't deserve me. He apologized again for
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 6: hurting me. He said he'll do the work to get
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 6: me to trust him and forgive him. I don't know
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 6: if I can trust and forgive him yet. The topic
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 6: of celibacy also came up. My views on it have changed.
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 6: I'll wait until I'm ready, safe, and comfortable to have
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 6: spicy sleep. That may be when I get married or not.
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 6: It's now my choice to choose without shame. This isn't
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 6: exactly a happy update, but I do have something to
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 6: celebrate though.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: It's a small win.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 6: I have a full ride scholarship to my college this August.
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 6: It's also the same college my ex goes to.
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 3: Oh, well. Like which ex? Like the one we're talking
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 3: about now? Yes. But are you guys not getting back together?
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 1: I think they are.
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 3: I don't know what's going on now.
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 6: Maybe we'll be in a better place by then. Thank
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 6: you all for all the advice given to me. As
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 6: of right now, I'm just focusing on getting ready for college.
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 6: I'm a little nervous, but excited as well. I think
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 6: for the remainder of this summer, I should just focus
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 6: on myself, food, cheesy bread sticks, marinara sauce, and not
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 6: pictured a Vietnamese avocado smoothie.
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 3: Yes, there are pictures of food. We got it. We
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 3: figured it out.
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 1: It's just so random.
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 2: There are pictures of food attached. She wasn't just like,
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 2: I'm sad. I've been eating mashed potatoes and grilled chicken.
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 3: I don't know. I still think, I mean, it's sweet.
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 2: You guys are trying to figure it out, but I
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 2: really do think my advice for almost everybody would be like.
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 3: Y'all should separate and see how it feels. And like, yeah,
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 6: Couples, I feel like, especially since they've been in it
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 6: for so long, since they were, you know, in high
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 6: school or.
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 3: Middle school.
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, middle school. Yeah, like 13.
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 6: I just think that there comes a time where if
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 6: you don't be with other people, if you don't explore,
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 6: if you don't allow yourself to do that, you're going
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 6: to resent them later on.
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 1: And it happens all the time. We hear it all
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 1: the time.
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 6: And like, there are some stories where like people like,
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 6: for example, my parents are high school sweethearts. Everyone in
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 6: my family is a high school sweetheart. But at some
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 6: point they did break up. Like they did it all
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 6: throughout high school, broke up, dated other people in college, whatever, blah, blah, blah.
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 6: And then found each other again. Like, that's kind of
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 6: always how it goes. Doesn't mean that that's not going
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 6: to happen for you guys. Doesn't mean that's what happens
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 6: every single time. But you're not even giving yourself the
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 6: chance to experience, you know, something with someone else. And
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 6: I know you don't want to right now, obviously. But eventually,
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 6: I don't know, OP, if you're going to the college
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 6: because he's there and you want to fix the relationship
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 6: or because you actually want to go. And I mean,
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 6: good for you for getting a full ride.
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 3: So there's that.
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 6: But I just don't, I want you to choose you
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 6: and not choose him, you know? There are some comments.
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 6: Vodka7tall says he ambushed you by driving five hours and
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 6: showing up at your house uninvited, then hands you his
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 6: phone to check for cheating unprompted. Babe, something here stinks
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 6: and I'm fairly certain it's all his BS.
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 1: He told you he doesn't deserve you and you should
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 1: believe him. OP responds, true. If he cheated, then I
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 1: deserve so much better.
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 3: That was the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 3: Oh, he ambushed you by driving. And it's like you
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 3: put that in a movie and it's.
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 5: Like, oh, my God, it's so sweet.
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 1: He's in love.
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 5: Exactly.
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 3: They're like kids.
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 2: He's like 20 and trying to figure out how to
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 2: do a long distance relationship with the.
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 3: Girlfriend he's had for five years.
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 3: And he's like, should we break up? Should we not?
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 5: I don't know.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 3: Am I good? Am I bad? Do I want to
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 3: be with someone else? Does that make me bad? I'm anxious.
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 3: I'm depressed. I don't think he is.
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 2: I think he's just fighting with the thought that he's like,
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 2: I kind of do want to be single right now.
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 3: And he's like, well, if I do that, then I'm
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 3: really bad. I don't think this guy cheated. Yeah. It
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 3: really doesn't feel like this guy cheated.
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think he did either. Well, you never know.
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Update two, two days later. Hello.
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 6: This is my 18 female final update about my ex-boyfriend,
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 6: 20 male, who broke up with me on July 4th
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 6: because he no longer wanted to stay celibate. It was
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 6: his idea originally to wait for marriage. I guess he
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 6: wanted me to stay while he had fun at college.
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 6: Believed that he didn't deserve me. We ended up meeting
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 6: one last time before he left since he had some
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 6: of my things he wanted to give back.
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 1: I honestly think it was an excuse to see me.
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 6: Maybe out of guilt, he actually admitted that he'd been
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 6: cheating on me for.
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 1: A whole year.
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 3: No, he was doing it.
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 6: No.
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 3: No. Dang.
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 6: So.
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 3: The commenter was so right. Yeah, and.
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 5: No.
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 2: No.
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 1: And also, girl, are you still gonna go to that
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 1: school with the full ride? Witness that?
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 6: He said that he grew resentful over the fact we
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 6: weren't having spicy sleep. He no longer looked slash sounded
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 6: like the Prince Charming I described in my first post.
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 6: When he finished talking, I just said, okay, and took
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 6: my stuff back. I'm surprised I didn't cry at the news.
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 6: I'm a big crybaby, lol. I think he was annoyed
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 6: since I didn't react. He didn't get the satisfaction of
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 6: seeing me break down. I think the pain he put
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 6: me through numbed me, or I realized in that moment
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 6: that I no longer had to deal with his manipulation
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 6: tactics ever again.
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 1: Dang, rollercoaster.
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 3: Don't go too crazy out there, college now, girly pop.
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 6: Yeah, don't be trying to, like, win him back by
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 6: doing all this crap and not being yourself.
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 3: I don't think that's gonna happen.
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 1: I hope not.
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 6: I think you deserve so much better, obviously. He deserves
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 6: whatever's coming to him. I mean, truthfully, like, I want
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 6: to paint him as the bad guy, but, like, in
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 6: the end, like, you both just grew apart.
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 1: You wanted different things.
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 6: Should he have cheated? No, that does make him the villain.
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 6: I don't agree with that. He should have been upright
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 6: with you and should have told you the truth. But
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 6: I also, I mean, like, I want to say I
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 6: understand why he did it, but he shouldn't have done it.
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 6: You know, he should have broken it off and then
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 6: been with someone else, not cheated behind your back for
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 6: a whole freaking year and then be like, yeah, actually.
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 4: I don't know. I think we should break up now.
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't deserve you.
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not allowing a man, especially him, to break me.
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 1: Another big win, though.
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 6: My college has extended the benefits to my full-ride scholarship.
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 6: I just got the notification email about it. So I'm
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 6: getting a new laptop and school supplies, textbooks, online class programs, etc.
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 4: Soon.
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 1: Now it's time for me to focus on my studies
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 1: and not boys. I'm putting myself first.
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 6: I'll probably see my ex on campus, but instead of
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 6: being sad, I'll be happy that he's no longer my
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 6: problem to deal with.
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 1: Thank you for all the previous advice. It really opened
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 1: my eyes to the truth.
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 3: Food.
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 1: A double cheeseburger, garlic parmesan fries, and a strawberry lemonade.
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 3: Mmm. Yummy. Yeah, girl. Screw this guy. He just.
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 1: Nah.
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 6: There's so many other fishes in the sea. And you're
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 6: gonna find someone at college with how... You know, you
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 6: must be pretty freaking smart to get a full scholarship
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 6: plus like extra benefits. That's crazy. So good for you.
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 6: And yeah, don't even pay mind him. You probably won't
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 6: even see him depending how big the school is.
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 1: You know, keep doing you. Don't worry about him.
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 4: And that's the end of this story.