Latest / Baby's First 100 Days with Dr. Roma Franzia / Before You Co-Sleep With Your Baby, Watch This

Transcript

Before You Co-Sleep With Your Baby, Watch This · Baby's First 100 Days with Dr. Roma Franzia

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of parents are already co-sleeping, but they're afraid to tell their pediatrician.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: So let's get this out of the way right now.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: I love co-sleeping.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Humans have slept close to their babies for most of our history, and there are real benefits to the closeness for both the baby and the parent.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: And there are also a few things I want you to understand before you decide whether it's right for your family, including the circumstances where I would not recommend it.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: Roma Francia.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: I've cared for tens of thousands of newborns over more than 30 years.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: And this is one area where my perspective may be a little different from what you've heard before.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: So I want you to understand what your baby may get from sleeping close to you, what the trade-offs are, and when I would tell you not to do it.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: Why I support co-sleeping.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: For most of the human history, babies do not sleep alone in another room.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: They slept close to their parents where they could stay warm, feed easily, and remain close to the people protecting them.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: But there is another part of that closeness that gets overlooked, and it may be even more important to the baby.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: For nine months, your baby has known your warmth, your movement, your voice, and the feeling of being physically close to you.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: Then they are born, and almost overnight, we expect them to be completely comfortable with separation.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Some babies handle that separation easier and some really don't.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: So when your baby settles the minute they're close to you, there's nothing surprising about that.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: Closeness can help a baby feel safer and more secure.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: It gives the parent an opportunity to respond quickly, offer reassurance, provide physical touch, and make nighttime feel like a place of connection rather than separation.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: Somewhere along the way, something wild started happening where people assumed that if you give a baby too much closeness, you are somehow creating dependence.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: I cannot disagree more with that.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: When a child feels safe early on, that security can become the foundation for confidence and self-reliance later.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: But supporting the family bed does not mean pretending it is perfect, because there are trade-offs parents should know about before they decide whether it fits their family.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: There are trade-offs.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Some parents sleep more lightly with a baby next to them.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: There can be less privacy and less room for intimacy between the partners.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: And eventually some children are not thrilled when the parents decide it is time to move into their own bed.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Those are real issues, but I do not look at them as proof that sleeping together was somehow a mistake.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Most of those problems are behavioral.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: They can be addressed later with consistent routines and a gradual transition when the family is ready.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: And every family is going to feel differently about those trade-offs.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: Some parents love having the baby close and feel everybody sleeps better that way.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Other parents find that they barely sleep at all because they are aware of every little movement and sound.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Neither family gets a metal.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: You have to look at what actually works in your home.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: And this is exactly the kind of conversation I am having with parents in my practice.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: There is rarely one answer that makes sense for every baby and every family.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: And parents deserve enough time to ask questions, understand the reasoning, and make a thoughtful decision for their own child.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: If you are looking for a pediatrician who practices that way, click the link below to learn more about my practice.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: Now, there is another reason this subject gets so confusing for parents.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: Because, depending on who you ask, you may hear very different advice.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: Why parents hear such different things about co-sleeping.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: The American Academy of Pediatric recommends room sharing without a bed sharing.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: This is the standard recommendation in the United States, and I want parents to know that.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: But that is not the only way this subject is discussed internationally.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: The UK's NICE NICE guidance approaches the subject differently and focuses more directly on particular circumstances that raise concern, including smoking, alcohol, or drug use, and babies who are premature or low birth weight.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I do not like reducing this conversation to good parents do this, bad parents do that.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Parents deserve a real discussion.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: They deserve to understand why different recommendations exist, what their own family is actually doing, and what factors make me much more cautious.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: Because there are some situations where my answer changes when I would not recommend bed sharing.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: If a parent smokes, I would not recommend sharing the bed with the baby.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: If alcohol or drugs are involved, I would not recommend it.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: If your baby was premature or had a low birth weight, I would not recommend bed sharing.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I am especially concerned about sleeping with a baby on a sofa.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: A sofa is not the same thing as a family bed.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: There are cushions, cracks, surfaces, and places where a baby can become trapped.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: So I would never treat falling asleep with your baby on the couch as some safer substitution for bringing the baby into bed.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: Those are the kinds of distinctions I want parents thinking about ahead of time.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: Because co-sleeping decisions are rarely made at 2 in the afternoon when everybody is well rested.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: They are made at 2 in the morning after the baby has been awake again and again, and now mom or dad barely keep their eyes open.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: That is why I would rather have the conversation before you get to that point.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: Because once we get past the argument over whether co-sleeping is good or bad, there is a question that can come up about what happens later.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: How do you get them out of your bed later?
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: One of the questions parents ask me is quote, if I let my baby sleep with me now, am I going to get them out of my bed ever?
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: They might not be thrilled about it, especially if they have slept next to you for a long time, but that does not mean co-sleeping was a mistake.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: When the time comes, you make the transition gradually.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: You create a consistent bedtime routine, give them time to adjust, and do not expect a child who has slept next to you for years to suddenly love a completely different arrangement overnight.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: That transition may take some patience, but I would not give up the closeness you want with your newborn today because you are worried about a bedtime battle you may have years from now.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: And that really brings us back to the decision you have to make now.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: If you are considering co-sleeping, I want you to know the whole picture before fear makes the decision for you.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: There are real benefits to having your baby close.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: There are trade-offs, and there are situations, especially smoking, alcohol, drug use, or prematurity, low birth weight, and sofa sharing, where I would tell you to be much more cautious.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: But I do not want parents hiding that they are doing something because they're afraid their pediatrician is going to judge them.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: Many families are co-sleeping.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: I would much rather know what is actually happening in your home so we can talk about it honestly and help you make the best decision for your baby and your family.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: And if your newborn sleep in general feels completely chaotic right now, watch my video next on the surprising easy thing you can do to help your baby sleep better.