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Fruit of the Spirit-Love · The Father's Business Podcast

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: The Father's Business was founded by Sylvia Gunter to encourage people to a deeper relationship with God.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: I'm Elizabeth Gunter-Powell.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: And I am Kimberly Roddy.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: Welcome to the Father's Business podcast.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: We are so glad that you've joined us.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Welcome everybody to the next edition of our podcast.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Here at the Father's Business, we have started a series on the fruit of the spirit, and last week we spent time just talking overall about the fruit of the spirit and we focused in on the thought that the fruit of the spirit are relational because it's not a list of behaviors that we have to try to perform.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: We can't produce the fruit on our own, but we are in a relationship with the Holy Spirit and as we abide with the Holy Spirit, the fruit is then produced in us.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: And so this week we're going to look at the fruit of love, and I would say, in the same way that we said overall, all the fruit of the spirit are relational.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: Love is relational.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: You can't love outside of a relationship or a community because it takes other people.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: Think about the verses about love one another and all the one another, verses that we find in the Bible, right Kimberly.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: So we can't do this in a vacuum, and that's what makes all of the fruit of the spirit feel difficult is because other people are involved.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: You know, if I am in complete control of my day and I get to do exactly what I want, when I want and how I want.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: It's pretty easy to be loving and joyful and all the other fruit of the spirit, but it's when we find ourselves in community and in relationship with others that those conflicts can start to show up.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: And it's the iron sharpening iron that's talked about in scripture.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: So we're going to spend a day looking out what is God's definition of love versus perhaps what we think love is, and also how we can allow the spirit to produce this fruit in our lives.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's true, Elizabeth, because it's not love's not just this natural desire that rises up within me.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: It's not.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: It's not simply a feeling, it is a choice, and so often we we romanticize it and we celebrate it during Valentine's Day and anniversaries and weddings and all those kinds of things.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: But it goes so much further than just mere emotions, right and greeting cards.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: Oh, absolutely.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: I mean if you listen to Love Ballads or what the greeting card industry is selling us.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: Yes, there are moments when I feel that way about people that I love, but there's also a lot of times that I look at my family that I really love and I think right now I'm not sure I can like you because they're doing things that are irritating to me.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: And so if you only define love as a feeling, like even the phrase people say I'm falling in love with you, that is an emotion and, yes, there is that butterfly feeling that you have when you think about when you start dating someone, or or when your child is born and they're absolutely perfect, and that that first moment together that there is that euphoric feeling of love.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: But that's not real love.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: Real love is a covenant, it's a commitment, it's the.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: I'm going to continue to show up for you, whether I like what I see in your behavior and your actions or not, it's.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: It's much more sacrificial, because that's what we see in the Bible.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: Right Is that God loved us while we were yet sinners, so we weren't doing things to earn his affection when he chose to to love us.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: I mean one of the most famous Bible verses in the world.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: People that aren't even believers can recognize it John 3 16.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: For God, so love the world.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: There there is this choice to love regardless of the behavior we're getting from the other person.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: Elizabeth.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: I think all of that is true.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: I think even beyond that is another foundational verse underneath that.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: If we look at 1 John, that talks a lot about love.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: In 1 John 4, verses 7 and 8, says Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: So we see right there that love is from God.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: Romans just showed us right.
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: Christ died for us.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: He showed his love for us.
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: Like you said, john 3, 16, for God so loved the world.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: Love comes from God.
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: It is a choice, it's a covenant commitment.
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: It can't be based on my feelings, because my feelings are going to change right.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: So it has to be connected to coming from something so much deeper as in a commitment and, like you said, that's connected to the sacrifice, because you can't have a commitment without sacrifice.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: It requires something, it requires give and take and it does go beyond what's natural and we have to remain steadfast in that.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: But I think it's also you mentioned earlier when we were talking, before we started recording, elizabeth, that this is one of the attributes of God, right?
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: Right, yeah, because we talked last week that all of the fruit of the Spirit can help us understand the character of God, because it's the fruit of who he is.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: But this is the only fruit that in the Bible it says God I mean the verse you were just reading in 1 John, 4, 7, and 8, if you kept going at the end of that verse says God is love.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: Now, he is faithful and he is gentle and he is kind and all these other types of things, but this is the only one that I believe in scripture.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: It says that clearly the definition of love is God.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: God is love, love is God.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: It is the essence of who he is.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: And there's a lot of time spent in the Bible trying to describe and explain to us God's love.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: For us, the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: It's mercy's never come to an end, like there's so many scriptures and so many times the word love is used in the Bible in a disproportionate way to the other fruits of the Spirit, and also there's a lot more time spent commanding us to love.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: And I find that so comforting that I have to be commanded to do it, because on my own I'm not going to because we are selfish by nature, we are jealous by nature, we are all those things listed on the bad side of Galatians 5 of don't be the, don't have hatred, don't have jealousy, don't have all these other things in your life, but have the fruit of Spirit.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: And so it's okay that sometimes it's hard because it's not natural for us to do, and we do have to have God supernaturally allowing who he is, flowing through us in order to truly be able to love one another.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: One of the other places in scripture where we see a lot about love, that's quoted a lot at weddings and things like that is 1 Corinthians 13.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: That's known as the love chapter right.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: So when you start looking at that, this is where you really see that, yeah, we kind of have to be commanded to do this.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: It's not easy, or?
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: natural.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: So it talks about love as patient and kind.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: It does not envy or boast, it's not arrogant or rude, it does not insist on its own way, it's not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: Love never ends.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: As far as prophecies they will pass away.
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: As far as tongues they will cease.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: As knowledge it will pass away, but love lasts forever.
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: So why bother trying to love?
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: Seriously, because you're reading that I'm like no, no, no, no, yep, I'm rude, I want my own way.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: I'm irritable.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: That's the one that always gets me.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: Yes, I'm a loving person.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: Are you irritable?
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah, a lot.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, yeah, it feels like an impossible standard Again, much like we talked last week that the spirit can feel like an impossible standard if I'm trying to do it in my own strength.
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: Right, which takes us right back to what we've talked about last time and what we talk about regularly, which is our job.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: Our only role is to stay in alignment with Father, son and Spirit so that he can give us that supernatural love for other people and for ourselves Like.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: We don't love ourselves well, we don't love God well and we don't love others well, and so if we're not walking like the verses we looked at last week and right before, it talks about the Spirit.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: It talks about walking and staying in step with the Spirit.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: If we're not doing that, then we can't do this, because this flows out of that Right.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, absolutely.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: But there is one thing.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: I also want to kind of turn the corner a bit on this and, kimberly, if you help us talk about this, because you deal a lot with conflict and mediation and those types of things I also think there's a bit of a misconception that love is always saying yes and not having healthy boundaries, or are always just giving in so that you're being loving.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: Because in a lot of ways that is my definition for other people is you love me when you let me do what I want to do and so talk to us a little bit about kind of what love is and love is not.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: I don't think love is weak at all.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: I think it's a very strong thing.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: But a lot of times we try to say, well, you're not being loving, but what we're trying to say is you're not allowing me to do what I want to do.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: Right and that gets to the motivation of things, right, like what's underneath, the motivation for what we desire and what we want.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: And love is, while it's sacrificial, it's not that idea of you're a doormat, and sometimes I think.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: So often I think too often in the Christian life we've talked about sacrifices just laying down and being walked over.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: Sometimes we talk about preserving unity and by that the way that we do that is we don't speak up or we don't say anything.
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: And sometimes speaking up preserves unity.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: Sometimes speaking up, sometimes having boundaries, is Love.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: So I often use the verse in James that says what causes fights and quarrels among you as your desires that wage war within you.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: We all have a desire to be seen, to be known, to be loved, to be heard, to be understood, whatever Right, and those desires in and of themselves are not best.
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: The desire to be loved, the desire to be heard, the desire to be seen, desire to have your way moving forward is not necessarily a bad thing.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: But when you start twisting that and then you're kind of making other people pay or you're demanding things of others, that's when you like, if you can be aware enough to check yourself in that moment, that's when you'll start to see your desire has gone awry and you're no longer loving and you're no longer like I can't control how other people are doing that.
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: I can't control how other people are handling their desires and how they're treating me, but I can control how I'm doing that.
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: And the other thing I can control is how I'm being, how I'm handling being treated those ways.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: So on the one hand, we have to be active in the sense of if I'm not being loving and I recognize I'm actually after a selfish gain here, which takes great awareness and understanding our desires and what we're doing with them then I can manage that and I can come into alignment with the spirit and I can say I don't want to walk this way, I don't want to step this way.
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: Put me back and step in alignment with you.
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: If we're on the more passive or receiving side of that, then I also think we have to be aware and rather than choosing to engage in conflicts sometimes, we have to take a step back and recognize all sorts, ask all sorts of questions.
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: But boundaries are a good thing.
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: You don't have to say yes because someone is convincing you that they're trying to love you if it doesn't feel like they're loving you, and those are messy conversations that I'm not sure we can totally get into today.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: But I do think that if some of this is like sparking that conversation, wrestle it out with someone safe and trusted that you can talk with, because I do think that there are places where we really have to learn and relearn what it means to be on the receiving side of appropriate love.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: That's a tough one because there's lots of different examples that are flying through my head right now and we just can't dissect all of them.
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: But sometimes people couch their desire for justice or manipulation through a lens of love and we have to be really wise and discerning.
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: If we're on the receiving side of that, like I said, we can control when we're on the active side of doing that.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: If we're on the receiving side of it, we need to be wise in how we're looking at that and it is absolutely okay and loving to set boundaries, kimberly, as you're talking, the phrase that kind of runs through my head and I think I can see both sides of it.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: But a red flag phrase for me has been if you love me, you would XYZ.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: Sure, now I understand the manipulative side of that, but I also have been on the other side of that of saying to someone You're saying you love me, but your actions and behavior towards me are not kind, they're not good, they're not for my welfare.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: And so I think in some circumstances which again we're open up a big old can of worms here in some circumstances I think it is okay for us to internally check, like you're saying, the motives behind what people are saying and doing to us and saying are they truly being that sacrificial love?
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: Are they, you know, the John 3 16 kind of love where Jesus was willing to die for us before we knew who he even was?
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: And so there is a healthy side of being able to say you know what you're saying with your words, that you love me, but your actions are not lining up with those words.
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: But there's also a very manipulative thing that I have been in past relationships where I have been told well, if you love me, you would do one, two and three, and that's where it becomes transactional.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: And I will only love you, or I only.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: I will only believe that you love me if your behaviors are this way.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: So it's.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: It's not an easy put it in a box and there is every circumstance we could possibly think of as covered, kind of thing.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: But I think that's why it's so important to keep going back to.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: If we're staying in step with him and the person we're in relationship with is also striving to stay in step with God, then it's going to be a whole lot easier for both of us to be loving to one another.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: Is it going to be perfect?
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: Absolutely not, because we're not perfect, sure, but I think rather than I think.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: A lot of times in my relationships I get so focused on the behavior of the other person, like you're talking about, versus going.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: Ok, I can't control that, but what I can control is how much time am I spending aligning myself with who God is and how much am I allowing his love to flow through me?
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think a practical example that comes to my mind as you're talking to is one of the ways that I know I love the people closest to me, is the way I show my love and my care for them is by checking on them as far as their health goes at times, like how, how is your eating?
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: How are you taking your medicine?
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: Are you?
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: I mean, I do that with myself.
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: It's a way I love, I try to love myself well and by no means imperfect that it but.
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: But I do this with my family and sometimes that can feel like offensive or controlling, because on the receiving end of it it feels like I'm just asking the question of did you take your med today?
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: Did you take your medicine today?
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: Did you eat today?
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: Have you gone on a walk today or taking care of yourself?
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: Like those are just questions I ask, as I care about people and I feel like when we take care of our bodies and our minds holistically, then I feel like we will just be better, people will live well and we'll have a relationship.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: Like I feel like it's all connected and so sometimes it's genuinely a way that I love people, but that doesn't mean that the other person feels love right when I ask those questions, yeah, if there's, if they're coming back to me with a comment like I feel like you're controlling me or if I don't know why you're bugging me, yes, I've done all that, leave me alone.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: I think that is an opportunity for me, rather than to get offended, it's an opportunity for me to, in a good space, say how did I come across with my tone, how did I come across with my body language?
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: Because sometimes I may feel like I'm wanting to love them, but I'm not showing it, I'm not treating, treating them with love, and so that is sometimes where we have these motives to love people.
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: Like sometimes I think we've talked in other stories like you've had times where your husband wants to fix things and that's his way of loving, right, yeah right, yeah Right.
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: It doesn't feel loving, and so, again, that's where it goes back to if I'm loving someone, I also I need to remember it is patient, it's kind, it's not irritable or resentful.
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: And so my attitude can show irritability or resentfulness, or impatience or unkindness, and that, in essence, isn't showing love, and so is my motive really love in that moment?
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: I have to check myself.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah and that's where, too, I think that we see in scripture that God is love, yeah.
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: And yet we also see in scripture where he expressed justice, yeah and he and anger right, and he flipped over the tables because they were not.
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: They were not doing what they were supposed to be, that's not how they were supposed to utilize the space in the temple.
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: Right, and he was showing his anger of that.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: I mean he wasn't loving.
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: At the same time he was loving and honoring his father by that act right and it was the.
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: It was the right thing to do, and so it's just a.
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: It's a very tricky conversation and how we flesh it out and I think that's why there is so much written about love, like there are a lot of one another commands how we treat one another.
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: There's more one another commands than a lot of other commands in Scripture, and so the forefront of that is loving one another and it has to flow out of that and being in step with the Spirit, because it is so complicated and so hard otherwise.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think God knew that.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: He understood the frailty of how he made us and that's why he also I mean just very bluntly says if you don't love, then you don't know me.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: Like I mean, it's pretty, it's like wow, that's a very harsh statement and they'll know you're my disciples by the way.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: You love one another.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: It's like this is a big deal, it's very important and, as you said, not only in the Bible is a lot written, but good, googly, mook, go, just go to your local bookstore.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: How many different books have been written on love, both from a Christian perspective and a secular perspective, through the years?
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: Because it's not easy to do and yet it's at the core of who God is and how he wants us to live.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: So we're going to end each of our podcast by blessing the spirits of everyone who's listening, based on the fruit for each of the weeks.
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: So this week, we want you to receive a blessing of the fruit of love.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: Beloved child of God, listen while I speak your Father's heart and His ways for you in Galatians 5, 22 through 23.
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: Against such things there is no law, since we live by the Spirit.
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: Let us keep in step with the Spirit.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: Spirit.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: You are beautiful in the beauty of God's Spirit living in you.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: He has given you the good gift of His love in you.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: He makes you more like Himself as you give Him freedom to transform you into His image.
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: The Holy Spirit wants to reach into the deep places of your being and bless you to display His love in the world.
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: Listen to Romans 5, 5.
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: Hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit whom he has given us.
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: You can know how dearly God loves you because he has given you His Spirit to fill your heart with His love.
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: You were created of your Father's love.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: You are the evidence of God's love deposited in you in lavish measure, in making you just the way you are.
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: Know deep within that you belong to your Father, who is love, and he speaks His love to you.
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: You are not an it, you are you, the real you, the essence, the inner being.
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: He enjoys you and finds pleasure in who you are.
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: Spirit.
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: Be blessed with larger than the universe, love before the foundation of the world.
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: Love, the faithful love of your infinite Father for you.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: Be blessed to know that you are shielded in His love that always seeks your highest good, no matter what you do.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: Be blessed with God's kind of self-giving love that gives freely without asking anything in return and does not consider the worth of its object.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: Be blessed with knowing deeply that you are accepted and affirmed in Him.
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: His love was forever settled on the cross.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: As the hymn writer said, did air such love and sorrow meet?
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: Be blessed with being completely persuaded that nothing can separate you from His love.
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: He loves you with a mighty love that has no end.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: Marvel at the goodness of His holy love that you cannot get to.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: The end of.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: His love extends its covering over a multitude of sins.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: He perfectly loves you and you need have no fear before Him.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: Spirit.
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: When God, who is love, is present in you.
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: Love is the fruit of his residence in you.
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: You love others because he first loved you and lives in you to love through you.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: Be blessed with the love of Christ that compels you, that holds you in his unconditional grip.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: Be blessed with 1 Corinthians 13,.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: Unfailing love in you permeating you.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: His grace makes possible in you his love, with no end and no limit and no measure.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: Paul said that love binds all the other virtues together in perfect unity.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: Be blessed as you let that love flow through you to your family and everyone around you.
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: Laying on the arm of your beloved for love's sake, as you love by choice, not by emotion.
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: Love must give whatever the cost.
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: Be blessed with increasing and overflowing love for others, because God, who is love, lives in you to will and to do it.
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: Be blessed to display the same fruit of the love of God that the Holy Spirit produces in you, your grace-empowered response from his love.
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: Thank you for joining us today on the podcast.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: If you enjoyed today's episode, don't forget to subscribe and feel free to share your thoughts on our social media outlets.
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: Until next time, may you be rooted in the deep love that surpasses all understanding, that comes from God.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: Take care.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: everyone I want to thank you for listening to the Father's Business podcast.