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Why You Second-Guess Every Decision (It's Not Overthinking) · Afzal's Reset Entropy Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: If you are a founder who second guesses every decision, this episode is for you specifically.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know that exact feeling.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: You make a call and immediately start unmaking it.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: You research it to the death.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: You delay, you revisit, and by the time the decision is finally made, you are drained.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: And you are still not even sure it was right in the first place.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Today I want to explain why this happens and why it has almost nothing to do with the decision itself.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I will give you something you can actually start doing today.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: Here is the first thing to understand.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: When you second guess everything, the problem is never the decision in front of you.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: You are capable of analysis, you have the information.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: If it were really about the decision, you would have made it already by now.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: What is actually happening is the other thing are sitting on top of the decision and they are louder than the decision itself.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: The biggest two a lack of self-trust and the fear of failure.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: When those two are running, no clean decision can happen.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because you are not really deciding, you are trying to protect yourself from being wrong, from being blamed, from being the person in the center who everyone looks down upon.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: And that feeling is ugly, that feeling is bad.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: And we all know that deep down it haunts us like that.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: But the more bigger picture is when those two are running, no clean decision can happen.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because you're not really deciding, you are trying to protect yourself from being wrong in the whole picture, and you cannot make a clear choice and defend against failure at the same time.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: The fear drowns out the clarity.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this goes deeper than business.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: The lack of self-trust was usually built long ago.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: From if you must have heard from an old podcast, it happens from age 1 to 7, 7 to 12, and so on forward.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: These three stages of life, we built an exterior shell around us that governs most of everything, especially the decision making.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk about this time when your judgment was overridden, questioned, or punished.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: When you learned that trusting yourself was dangerous and that safety came from getting approval first, that belief followed you into your company.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: Now every decision reactives reactivates it.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: You are not just deciding on a hire or a price, you are consciously bracing against an old fear of being wrong and paying for it.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: And that is why the energy cost is so high.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: You're not making one decision, you are making multiple and worse than that, you are fighting an old battle every single time.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: And the battle is against your own belief system that was made.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: How will you do that?
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: That is that is such a headache, such a bad feeling.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: How will you do all of this?
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: And this is just one day.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: Imagine, and you have to go for the rest of your life like this.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: But what is the fix?
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: How can till when you will go on with this?
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: So the fix is not by making better big decisions.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: You have to understand that you build self-trust first, and self-trust building the way you build any strength through small reps.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: Here is the practice for next week.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Make small decisions in under 10 seconds and do not revisit them.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: Small ones which which you know it wouldn't hinder you.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: What to eat, which task first, where to sit, what to reply, tiny low stake decisions which shouldn't bother you that much.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: See if it's even bothering you, if it's you understand that this is the issue which is replicating everywhere.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: This is one of the diagnostic ways of understanding, also, and this is one of the way of training your brain, also.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: So decided fast and left alone.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: All this decision.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: The point is not the decision, the point is teaching a nervous system on new piece of evidence over and over.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: I decide and I move, and nothing bad happens.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: Each small rep is a deposit into self-trust, and after enough of them, your system starts to believe it.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: Then the bigger decision gets easier, not because they got simpler, but because the muscle underneath them got stronger.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: And during this whole phase, when you're doing this, let's say you're doing it at least for a week, week and a half, like I mentioned, don't promise yourself anything that you're not going to do, which you know which will be very difficult for you to do.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: Just focus on this thing.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to make a promise, promise on this thing.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: Taking small small decisions.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: Don't promise yourself any other thing.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Don't promise yourself on uh you will break through procrastination.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: Don't promise that you might quit smoking if you're someone who is into smoking.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: Don't big give yourself big promises that you know you might break.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: Because that will train your brain that you don't listen to yourself, and that is going to fumble all of this practice and will get you back worse than where you were in the first place, also.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: Understand this whole thing like going to a gym.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: You're not going to go and do a PR on the first day.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's difficult.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: We know it.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: Your body is not equipped yet.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: You start small weights, few reps, increase reps, increase weights.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: Similarly, start with small decisions, take them.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Don't think about it, take them.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Over the course of time, you will start lifting heavier, you will start making bigger decisions, you will start doing more reps with that heavy weights, you will start taking more bigger decisions at multiple scales, but start somewhere and don't overpromise yourself which you are not going to fulfill because we don't want to train our brain that we don't listen to ourselves.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: So this week, stop trying to win the big decision, win the small one first, fast and without looking back.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Watch how it feels to decide and move.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: Watch where or are you feeling reluctant to take a decision?
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: You will get the insight which you are looking for for the whole lifetime, to be honest.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: That feeling I can trust myself is the thing you have actually been missing, and not more information is going to help, not more time, self-trust.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: You don't even know how much information and self-worth you have until you are actually made to see it, and this will make you see it.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: You know so much.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: I trust me on that, it's just your brain playing tricks at times, and it is built one small decision at a time.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to understand where your self-trust got broken in the first place, clear it at the root.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: That is what the free video and a conversation with me are for.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: Link is in the bio.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: I will see you on Thursday.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: Do this, and you will thank me for the rest of your life.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: You will thank even yourself for your rest of your life.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'll see you in the next episode.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: Bye bye.