Latest / DA CREW Podcast / WELCOME BACK SEASON **NEW SHOW ALERT**EXTRA SCOOP hosted by DWAYNE & SISSY _We Advocate for Social Injustices and Human Rights

Transcript

WELCOME BACK SEASON **NEW SHOW ALERT**EXTRA SCOOP hosted by DWAYNE & SISSY _We Advocate for Social Injustices and Human Rights · DA CREW Podcast

0:43
Speaker 1: Legs and gentlemen, lay I have your attention.
0:50
Speaker 2: Please. The show starts in my Hi shoot one go. Welcome, Welcome,
1:15
Speaker 2: Welcome into the studio today. We want to welcome everybody
1:19
Speaker 2: in today. Thank you for joining us today. My name
1:22
Speaker 2: is Dwayne and you can reach me at on TikTok
1:26
Speaker 2: at Dwayne turned Silk, and I just want to welcome
1:30
Speaker 2: everyone in. My co host today is Sissy. Hey, Sissy, Hi, Dwayne.
1:38
Speaker 1: How are you high viewers? How is everybody today? I
1:43
Speaker 1: am Sissy and you can reach me at Sissy one
1:45
Speaker 1: one one on TikTok. I'd like to also give a
1:48
Speaker 1: big shout out to the Queen herself, miss Angela, with
1:52
Speaker 1: the crew. We're here the second and fourth Wednesday of
1:58
Speaker 1: every month and eight o'clock. That's on the East Coast
2:04
Speaker 1: and for me here in California, we're at five o'clock.
2:11
Speaker 1: So we're gonna be covering a lot of things today. Dwayne,
2:14
Speaker 1: I know that you're really big on prison reform.
2:18
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, we're definitely gonna cover a lot of topics,
2:22
Speaker 2: everything from prison reform to the prison pipeline, to relationships
2:28
Speaker 2: to all kinds of things.
2:30
Speaker 1: You know what, you know what I hate I hate
2:33
Speaker 1: when you go into a fast food place and you
2:36
Speaker 1: order extra of something and then you.
2:40
Speaker 2: Just don't you don't get it. Yes, well, with us,
2:46
Speaker 2: we're gonna do anything and we're gonna be anything, but
2:49
Speaker 2: by size, So you can definitely understand that. Yeah, so
2:57
Speaker 2: definitely we want to come today and have fun. So
3:01
Speaker 2: sit back, relaxed, and enjoy the information that we have.
3:06
Speaker 2: We want to kind of first start off with a
3:08
Speaker 2: recap of things that we left off on before, and
3:13
Speaker 2: one is Tristan Weekly. We have a young man that
3:17
Speaker 2: was in Frisco, Texas that he was accosted inside of
3:20
Speaker 2: his school and his mom is fighting to fight to
3:23
Speaker 2: find out who it was that uh that intruded upon
3:27
Speaker 2: his piece that day. So we want to keep him
3:30
Speaker 2: and his mother and his family and our prayers and
3:32
Speaker 2: we want to make sure that we're able to participate
3:36
Speaker 2: in her quest for justice. For Tristan Weekly. We also
3:41
Speaker 2: want to give an update about Christopher Needhouse. Need heis UH.
3:45
Speaker 2: He's a young man that was accosted in mid Loki
3:48
Speaker 2: in Texas. Uh He and some friends were at a
3:51
Speaker 2: park and he had some some young kids that were
3:55
Speaker 2: at that park aggressing up on them. He defended himself
3:59
Speaker 2: and they arrested him. He was out on bond and
4:03
Speaker 2: in that interim they found a reason to try to
4:08
Speaker 2: revocate his bond and they picked him up and he
4:11
Speaker 2: has a court date coming on next Tuesday, on the seventeenth,
4:14
Speaker 2: and we want to ask anyone that may be in
4:16
Speaker 2: the DFW area in Texas, that's the Dallas Sports Worth
4:20
Speaker 2: area if you can go to the court and show
4:23
Speaker 2: him support on next Tuesday. And I believe it starts
4:27
Speaker 2: around eight to fifteen am, so you can get there
4:30
Speaker 2: around eight am. It's on the third floor and you'll
4:33
Speaker 2: be able to find that information probably on my TikTok
4:36
Speaker 2: at Dwayne turned Silk. I'll probably put it up sometime
4:40
Speaker 2: this weekend. Also with Carmelo Anthony. That young man was
4:47
Speaker 2: also in Frisco, Texas, just as well as Tristan Weekly
4:51
Speaker 2: and he was at a sporting event, at a track
4:55
Speaker 2: event and some young men aggressed up on him, felt
4:59
Speaker 2: they the need to make him move, and they assaulted
5:02
Speaker 2: him and he defended himself and unfortunately, one young man
5:05
Speaker 2: lost his life and he was charged with that. With
5:09
Speaker 2: that moment of that young man losing his life, he's
5:12
Speaker 2: fighting for his freedom. He's Adam Bun and we ask
5:15
Speaker 2: people to make sure that they're supporting that family and
5:18
Speaker 2: keeping them in your prayers because we do have a
5:22
Speaker 2: search for justice for Carmelo, because self defense is not
5:26
Speaker 2: a crime, and we want to make sure that we're
5:28
Speaker 2: being aware of those things. And you can find out
5:31
Speaker 2: more information on our tiktoks. If you want to find
5:34
Speaker 2: out information about the GoFundMe for Tristan Weekly or the
5:38
Speaker 2: gifts and goes for Carmelo Anthony and also Christopher knee Nice,
5:44
Speaker 2: you can look on Sissy's page on TikTok and she
5:49
Speaker 2: has all those links there.
5:51
Speaker 1: I do you know regarding Tristan Weekly. Just a real
5:56
Speaker 1: quick recap too for the viewers. Her son somebody pricked
6:03
Speaker 1: his finger and it was acetone that was found and
6:09
Speaker 1: he ran. When she went to look at the video,
6:11
Speaker 1: there was a lot of people. There was nobody. I'm sorry,
6:14
Speaker 1: there was nobody in the video and he had his
6:17
Speaker 1: backpack on, so who released him early When she went
6:20
Speaker 1: back to see the video, there was a lot of
6:22
Speaker 1: people in the video, so they doctored it. She has
6:25
Speaker 1: a new legal team now they're going to get to
6:26
Speaker 1: the bottom of that. Regarding mister Nienhaigh. Something that's really
6:30
Speaker 1: important for the viewers to realize is that when you
6:33
Speaker 1: go in for a UA, you don't sign out. You
6:35
Speaker 1: go in for the UA. So they're trying to keep
6:37
Speaker 1: this young man. They do have seven days after the
6:42
Speaker 1: intake and his bail revoked to have another bond hearing.
6:48
Speaker 1: That would have been this last Tuesday, the third, so
6:53
Speaker 1: they've already impeded upon his civil rights. But it is
6:57
Speaker 1: set for this next Tuesday, coming up the seven teenth. So,
7:01
Speaker 1: like Dwayne was saying, if you want to come support
7:05
Speaker 1: him and his family, it is is that that's in Frisco, Texas.
7:09
Speaker 1: This this upcoming Tuesday on the seventeenth, and Carmelo Anthony
7:14
Speaker 1: he has a court date of June first, so it's
7:19
Speaker 1: it's it's crunch time. A lot of different things are
7:24
Speaker 1: coming about with that case. And if you want to come, Uh.
7:31
Speaker 1: Tiffany Billions is the lead advocator for Carmelo Anthony.
7:34
Speaker 2: Uh.
7:35
Speaker 1: She will be live today on TikTok and she goes
7:38
Speaker 1: live periodically. You can find the advocators at all times
7:42
Speaker 1: of day on TikTok. They will come up in your
7:45
Speaker 1: f YP for sure, advocating for this young man. So
7:50
Speaker 1: and like Dwayne was also saying on my page on TikTok,
7:53
Speaker 1: which is Sissy one one two five one, I do
7:56
Speaker 1: have all the links to their their their gifts and
7:58
Speaker 1: go or goal fund mes, depending on which one it
8:01
Speaker 1: is if you'd like to support their families. So any
8:06
Speaker 1: and all help is thankful. They have a lot of
8:10
Speaker 1: money going out to further this case for justice, and
8:16
Speaker 1: so I don't even want to center myself and say,
8:22
Speaker 1: you know, I don't I don't want to think about
8:25
Speaker 1: the anks they're going through. But any and all help
8:27
Speaker 1: is appreciated. If you don't have the funds too, you
8:30
Speaker 1: can actually send a thought or a prayer too, So please.
8:34
Speaker 2: Check that out West definitely, and we definitely want to
8:38
Speaker 2: make sure that we're supporting them in any way we can. Again,
8:42
Speaker 2: Sissy said, June first is the coordinate that Carmelo Anthony
8:47
Speaker 2: has set for his trial. Tristan Weekly, his mom is
8:53
Speaker 2: really about to start concentrating even more getting back on
8:57
Speaker 2: the road to seek justice for him. So we want
8:59
Speaker 2: to make sure that we're supporting miss Weekly and every
9:03
Speaker 2: way we can to find that justice for Tristan. And
9:07
Speaker 2: as she said as well, Christopher Mean Heights. He has
9:11
Speaker 2: this court date on the seventeen at eight fifteen am.
9:15
Speaker 2: I believe it is on the third floor and that's
9:18
Speaker 2: a mid mid Actually it's in Ellis County. It's at
9:21
Speaker 2: the Ellis County Courthouse, and so just go ahead and
9:24
Speaker 2: google that it's on the third floor and you can
9:27
Speaker 2: come out and you can be there to help support.
9:30
Speaker 2: That's probably one of the reasons why they went ahead
9:33
Speaker 2: and instead of court date is because people like love
9:35
Speaker 2: Black and that's on TikTok and also really real have
9:40
Speaker 2: been doing the campaign to call and send emails and
9:44
Speaker 2: write the court and find out why they were holding
9:47
Speaker 2: this young man and had people like myself and others
9:50
Speaker 2: that actually went to the courthouse to inquire on those
9:54
Speaker 2: moments as well. And so a conserative effort of the
9:56
Speaker 2: community coming together from all over the US helping out
10:00
Speaker 2: to further get Christopher back home so he can fight
10:05
Speaker 2: this case. By the way, he has no court date
10:08
Speaker 2: for his for the felony charge. Only court dated he had.
10:11
Speaker 2: They said it for the misdemeanor charge at the end
10:14
Speaker 2: of this month, and they were just going to try
10:16
Speaker 2: to hide that tack. But we're blessed and we're praying
10:20
Speaker 2: that the outcome come to where it's supposed to be.
10:23
Speaker 2: And that's the great statement of his bond on the.
10:25
Speaker 1: Seventeen, Dwayne, I bet you never thought you'd be the
10:28
Speaker 1: man on the street.
10:29
Speaker 2: Huh. Not at all, not at all. And it was
10:35
Speaker 2: it was by happening stance that I was just in
10:37
Speaker 2: the area on business and I went ahead and was like,
10:40
Speaker 2: you know what, let me stop and let me go
10:43
Speaker 2: and check. And I did and had some good conversations.
10:46
Speaker 2: I called a few of my friends to do the
10:48
Speaker 2: same thing, and they did and those conversations were very fruitful.
10:52
Speaker 2: And that's what it takes. It takes a village, and
10:54
Speaker 2: not meaning that you have to be out there were
10:56
Speaker 2: picking signs and all that stuff that has his place,
10:59
Speaker 2: but just to advocate on someone's behalf may just be
11:02
Speaker 2: a phone call, maybe an email, maybe something simple to
11:06
Speaker 2: help change someone else's direction in their life. And that's
11:09
Speaker 2: what this is about. We want to make sure that
11:11
Speaker 2: Christopher Neenhaus can get back home and try to get
11:16
Speaker 2: some semblance of his life back after this situation, because
11:19
Speaker 2: he was aggression. So we want to make sure that
11:22
Speaker 2: we're doing everything we can to help him out in
11:25
Speaker 2: this situation in his family.
11:27
Speaker 1: Yeah, I want a couple of things. You know, Texas
11:30
Speaker 1: has his own little entity and you know it is
11:32
Speaker 1: a standard ground state as most of you are aware of.
11:35
Speaker 1: And without duty to retreat. Now, let's examine that for
11:40
Speaker 1: just a minute. Tristan young young, young boy, and he
11:47
Speaker 1: was smart enough to run. He got home, he got
11:51
Speaker 1: home to miss Weekly, he got home to Chandra, So
11:55
Speaker 1: he was smart enough. We don't know what would have
11:58
Speaker 1: happened because the situations weren't you know, he was very lucky, however,
12:06
Speaker 1: very peculiar situations with that. So I know her legal
12:09
Speaker 1: team is all over it. And as far as Christopher,
12:13
Speaker 1: without a duty to retreat, he tried, he did he
12:18
Speaker 1: have to retreat, but he did and they still aggressed
12:21
Speaker 1: upon him after being spat upon, which is chemical warfare.
12:26
Speaker 1: So you know, for this injustice is the system is
12:35
Speaker 1: not working here. So and as far as Carmelo, her personality,
12:40
Speaker 1: he was each one of those boys, four of them
12:44
Speaker 1: laid their hands on him self. Defense is not a crime.
12:49
Speaker 1: So June first court date is just around the corner, guys,
12:55
Speaker 1: and we're going to keep bringing you updates on that.
12:57
Speaker 1: So and we're going to open some panels to on
13:01
Speaker 1: TikTok and we will post it in our bios letting
13:04
Speaker 1: you know. So if you're available, please come be part
13:07
Speaker 1: of the discussion on that. But hey, listen, Dwayne, it's
13:12
Speaker 1: Valentine Day.
13:13
Speaker 2: It's Valentine Days, Yes, it is.
13:18
Speaker 1: So you and your wife you've been married for how long? Now?
13:22
Speaker 2: I've been married thirty years as of this year. Yeah,
13:27
Speaker 2: and so we hit that thirty year milestone this year.
13:31
Speaker 1: My husband and I Next next month is our thirty
13:34
Speaker 1: fifth anniversary.
13:37
Speaker 2: Oh yes, congratulations.
13:39
Speaker 1: He deserves a blue metal.
13:44
Speaker 2: Most definitely. I know my wife does deal with me good, Dwayne.
13:48
Speaker 1: I picked good.
13:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and I know she's ready for me to
13:54
Speaker 2: get home. So we're actually not going to celebrate it
13:57
Speaker 2: on Valentine's Day because he actually has to work. But
14:00
Speaker 2: we're going to probably go out to a nice dinner
14:02
Speaker 2: on Monday and celebrated on that day. But we'll still,
14:07
Speaker 2: you know, sneak each other some chocolates and everything else
14:09
Speaker 2: as flowers on Valentine's Day, but we'll celebrated on Monday.
14:14
Speaker 1: My husband has to work also on Saturday, so we're
14:18
Speaker 1: going to be celebrating at Monday the sixteenth, So he's
14:22
Speaker 1: taking me out to some tepping cookie.
14:25
Speaker 2: That's what I'm talking about.
14:26
Speaker 1: You know what I really love about spending time with
14:29
Speaker 1: him is he's my best friend. Yes, Yes, he's my
14:34
Speaker 1: best friend. So you know, you have your blood family
14:38
Speaker 1: out there, and then you have those friendships in your
14:40
Speaker 1: life that you choose whether they're put on friendships or
14:45
Speaker 1: grow into something more. And I definitely grew into something more.
14:49
Speaker 1: Thirty five years later, he's still putting.
14:51
Speaker 2: Up with me, and you're right about it. And it's
14:54
Speaker 2: funny you say that because my wife and I we
14:57
Speaker 2: met at work. We were working at a place. She
15:01
Speaker 2: was working part time, I was working part time, and
15:03
Speaker 2: we just happened and we were on separate shifts and
15:06
Speaker 2: I was just happening to work a little late into
15:09
Speaker 2: her shift and I was on my way to church.
15:12
Speaker 2: So I had on my nice suit and I was
15:15
Speaker 2: all clean, and I was just helping out that day
15:17
Speaker 2: and she was like, hey, how are you? And I
15:19
Speaker 2: was like how are you? And we got to talking
15:21
Speaker 2: and we became friends, and it went off to a
15:25
Speaker 2: moment that she started coming to church with me and
15:27
Speaker 2: we started hanging out and we became real good friends,
15:30
Speaker 2: and that friendship led to us actually being married, and
15:34
Speaker 2: we you know, through the ups and downs. I think
15:36
Speaker 2: that's what keeps us ground is that we were friends
15:39
Speaker 2: first and we're we're real good friends, and we're real
15:42
Speaker 2: good communicating, real good communicators in our relationship, and I
15:47
Speaker 2: think that's what keeps the glue of the foundation stron
15:51
Speaker 2: so we don't have to worry about calling the foundation
15:54
Speaker 2: fixer upper. They can help us out.
15:58
Speaker 1: My husband and I were in the military and they
16:02
Speaker 1: were launching. Where we were stationed is the only place
16:06
Speaker 1: in the world, quite honestly, that you can do a
16:08
Speaker 1: poll little pool orbit. So they were launching some missiles
16:15
Speaker 1: and using they built this really nice what they call
16:19
Speaker 1: a slick that's where they release different things from that
16:24
Speaker 1: used the rocket boosters from the Space Shuttle, so that's
16:26
Speaker 1: a lot of power. And I was living in a
16:29
Speaker 1: near I was living in a nearby community there, and
16:34
Speaker 1: everything was knocked off my walls in my apartment complex.
16:38
Speaker 1: The pool was cracked. It was it was not a
16:41
Speaker 1: good thing. Uh, it was too close to civilization. It
16:45
Speaker 1: needed to be further out. But because it's on the
16:47
Speaker 1: coast here in California. He helped me. My husband came
16:52
Speaker 1: over and helped me pick up my house was in
16:55
Speaker 1: shambles from from this, and we got to know each
16:59
Speaker 1: other and the rest is history.
17:01
Speaker 2: Wow, that's how I met my husband. Yeah, And that's
17:05
Speaker 2: the beauty of relationships. They just they just they start
17:10
Speaker 2: out organic, and they start out innocent and they morph
17:16
Speaker 2: into something so beautiful and great. And I think that
17:19
Speaker 2: leads us to our topic today, which we're talking about friendships,
17:23
Speaker 2: talking about healthy friendships and relationships, and I think it
17:29
Speaker 2: brings us to that moment of how do we get
17:32
Speaker 2: to those healthy friendships and avoid the toxic friendships that
17:39
Speaker 2: we can pick up along the way. And I think
17:41
Speaker 2: that's something that I know. Right, What did what did
17:51
Speaker 2: Ericaba do? Which is I love her? One of our
17:54
Speaker 2: Dallas singers. She said she had a song that said,
17:57
Speaker 2: I'll bet I'll make you put the phone down. And
18:00
Speaker 2: I think sometimes we do have to. I know, sometimes
18:03
Speaker 2: I have to be mindful of putting my phone down
18:06
Speaker 2: and giving my wife the attention that she deserves because
18:08
Speaker 2: I have so many things going on and it has
18:11
Speaker 2: to do with all well, both of my phones and
18:14
Speaker 2: my tablet. So sometimes I'm multitasking, and I have to
18:17
Speaker 2: remind myself to give my wife that time because we
18:20
Speaker 2: don't see each other that much and this time and
18:23
Speaker 2: space anymore, So I have to make sure that we're
18:26
Speaker 2: spending that quality time. And I think that translates to friendships.
18:33
Speaker 2: I think sometimes we forget that our friendships, we have
18:37
Speaker 2: categories of friendships. We have those best friends, those long
18:40
Speaker 2: life friends and long term friends. We have those temporary
18:44
Speaker 2: friends that just we may know of and may become friends,
18:48
Speaker 2: and they're not there no more.
18:49
Speaker 1: Wayne, You're so busy and you have two phones and
18:52
Speaker 1: a tablet. I'm your friend, and I feel neglected. I
18:54
Speaker 1: can only imagine.
18:57
Speaker 2: I know right. Sometimes I have to call you and apologize,
19:04
Speaker 2: and that's I think. Sometimes we forget that those friendships
19:08
Speaker 2: can be in different categories, and sometimes we forget that
19:11
Speaker 2: category of those solid friends, those friends that's going to
19:15
Speaker 2: be there, that I can be your friend at seventeen
19:18
Speaker 2: and not see you again at twenty four and we
19:21
Speaker 2: see each other and pick back up like we were
19:23
Speaker 2: seventeen again because we yeah right when we left off,
19:27
Speaker 2: because the friendship has a foundation. And I think those
19:31
Speaker 2: are the things that we miss because especially in social media.
19:34
Speaker 2: As we see on TikTok, people claim to be friends
19:37
Speaker 2: and family and all kinds of things, but you let
19:40
Speaker 2: one thing happen and all of a sudden is World
19:43
Speaker 2: War three in their friendship because they have no foundation
19:48
Speaker 2: at all. They only have something in common at the time,
19:50
Speaker 2: and that social media.
19:52
Speaker 1: Well, this is why, since we're all kind of married
19:56
Speaker 1: to our phone, I send you texts and I say, hey,
19:59
Speaker 1: just wanted to say hi. Just takes a second to do, guys,
20:04
Speaker 1: just to let the person know you're thinking of them.
20:06
Speaker 1: And that's what I do. You know, Yeah, because Dwayne,
20:12
Speaker 1: do you rest? Do you rest?
20:16
Speaker 2: I think I rest? I think when I closed my eyes,
20:19
Speaker 2: I think I thought about it, and maybe when I
20:21
Speaker 2: wake up, maybe I slept a little bit. And I
20:25
Speaker 2: know the same goes for you. I think sometimes you
20:28
Speaker 2: will tell me I'm going to sleep, and then all
20:29
Speaker 2: of a sudden, I'll get a text, Hey, I was
20:31
Speaker 2: thinking about something, most like didn't you say she was
20:34
Speaker 2: justn't going to sleep two hours ago?
20:37
Speaker 1: For all those who you don't know, I'm in my
20:39
Speaker 1: last year of residency, so between that and working time
20:45
Speaker 1: management is of utmost importance. So I get it, and
20:48
Speaker 1: it's those small things, especially the day the days we
20:52
Speaker 1: live in. You know, it's wonderful to have the phones
20:56
Speaker 1: because it keeps you organized. It's a blessing and it's
20:59
Speaker 1: a cur yes, you know, because now when I don't
21:05
Speaker 1: have my phone or I can't find my phone, do
21:07
Speaker 1: you ever go through a panic mode like where did
21:09
Speaker 1: I leave it? And yeah, that's the horrible part. It's
21:14
Speaker 1: it's a curse and it's a blessing because I just
21:17
Speaker 1: find myself so consumed with doing things and keeping organized
21:22
Speaker 1: and being on my phone, from social media to other
21:25
Speaker 1: things too, that that my friends and my relationships they
21:31
Speaker 1: get neglected. They get neglected. So you know, use it
21:35
Speaker 1: to your benefit. Just send those little messages and let
21:37
Speaker 1: them know, Hey, listen, I'm gonna call you, but I
21:39
Speaker 1: was thinking about you and just wanted to say.
21:41
Speaker 2: Hi, most definitely. And that's h and that's the important
21:46
Speaker 2: part that we have to focus our minds on nourishing
21:52
Speaker 2: the relationships that we have. Now, the temporary relationship, they're
21:57
Speaker 2: gonna go. How they're going to go, I don't I
21:59
Speaker 2: don't care how you nurture those and how you try
22:02
Speaker 2: to finagle them, they're just not going to be there.
22:06
Speaker 2: Because they were only there for a season anyway. But
22:09
Speaker 2: your long term and your foundational friendships, those are things
22:14
Speaker 2: that you have to nourish. You have to give some
22:18
Speaker 2: type of food to feed those relationships. And that Cissy
22:22
Speaker 2: was saying, you have to send that text message, you
22:24
Speaker 2: have to send that email, and you have to sometimes
22:26
Speaker 2: get on that FaceTime. You have to sometimes get on
22:29
Speaker 2: the phone and call them. My best friend and I
22:31
Speaker 2: we've been best friends since we were pre teens, and
22:36
Speaker 2: we actually started out about to fight each other because
22:39
Speaker 2: of my little brothers, and he found out who I
22:43
Speaker 2: was and he was like, you talking about dad, Dwayne.
22:47
Speaker 2: And at that point he reached out to me to
22:49
Speaker 2: talk because my reputation preceded itself and the same thing
22:53
Speaker 2: goes for him. His reputation preceded itself. When my little
22:56
Speaker 2: brother told me about him, I was like, you're talking
22:58
Speaker 2: about that dude, And he was like yeah. So we
23:00
Speaker 2: both had the same thing in mind. Why am I
23:03
Speaker 2: gonna fight him because we might have some issues going
23:05
Speaker 2: on after the fact. So we actually began to talk
23:09
Speaker 2: to each other and be and actually formed a bond
23:14
Speaker 2: that we had a twenty year gap of not seeing
23:17
Speaker 2: each other and when we when we saw each other
23:20
Speaker 2: and talked again and met again, it was like we
23:23
Speaker 2: were still teenagers again. And that's that's what lifelong relationships
23:29
Speaker 2: that were nurtured properly, that's what they do for you.
23:32
Speaker 2: And that's why that's my best friend. Because if I
23:35
Speaker 2: don't talk them for a week, I'm talking and checking on.
23:38
Speaker 2: I'm texting, He's texting me. But we don't have to
23:41
Speaker 2: see each other every day, because we can pick back
23:44
Speaker 2: up next month, next week, I can I can ask
23:46
Speaker 2: him about his wife, he can ask him about mine,
23:48
Speaker 2: we can ask about our kids and our grandkids. And
23:51
Speaker 2: when we see each other, it's just like we never
23:53
Speaker 2: missed each other, like we never ever left each other
23:57
Speaker 2: from from back in the day. And that is a
24:00
Speaker 2: healthy friendship.
24:03
Speaker 1: My next door neighbors when I was stationed in southern
24:06
Speaker 1: California in ninety four, three ninety three, probably so well
24:15
Speaker 1: over thirty years. She lives in Georgia. We're still good friends, yes,
24:20
Speaker 1: and they're being in the military as well. That's really
24:24
Speaker 1: you know, a lot of people come and go through
24:26
Speaker 1: your life because you were hot when you're in the military,
24:29
Speaker 1: So that is definitely something to be said. It takes time.
24:34
Speaker 1: Relationships no matter what you have, whether it's your relationships
24:38
Speaker 1: with your children, whether it's relationships with a friend you
24:43
Speaker 1: know or a colleague, work relationships, you know, friendships, your spouse,
24:48
Speaker 1: your children. I don't know if I said that, probably did,
24:51
Speaker 1: but they all take work. And it's so hard these
24:54
Speaker 1: days because you know what, I don't know about you,
24:56
Speaker 1: but I'm go, go.
24:57
Speaker 2: Do do ye most definitely, most definitely, and it definitely
25:05
Speaker 2: takes work. It takes it takes sacrifice. Sometimes you have
25:09
Speaker 2: to get it most definitely. Sometimes you have to sacrifice
25:13
Speaker 2: your pride in your friendships. Sometimes you have to sacrifice
25:17
Speaker 2: your time, your effort, in your sleep, in your friendships
25:21
Speaker 2: because of the nature of that beat. But guess what
25:24
Speaker 2: where we're talking about the healthy relationships. We're talking about
25:28
Speaker 2: the relationships that may be short term, maybe long term,
25:31
Speaker 2: off and on. Those are healthy. But what about the
25:34
Speaker 2: toxic relationships that we pick up along the way. What
25:38
Speaker 2: about the people that we think maybe be they may
25:42
Speaker 2: be good for us, but we find out that they
25:44
Speaker 2: bring drama, that they bring issues, that they bring stress,
25:48
Speaker 2: they bring wrinkle lines across your forehead because you're worried
25:51
Speaker 2: about being around them all the time. Yes, yes, all
25:57
Speaker 2: of that and and that's that. That's rick about had
26:00
Speaker 2: another song called bag Lady, And that's where these people
26:03
Speaker 2: come from. They're bag ladies and man and they and
26:07
Speaker 2: they bring their baggage to your life and the drama
26:09
Speaker 2: to your life in those situations, Stacey, what do you
26:14
Speaker 2: feel is the best way to identify and then also
26:20
Speaker 2: remove those toxic friends from your life?
26:25
Speaker 1: Well, I think when you identify it, it's not you judging,
26:29
Speaker 1: So please give yourself grace and realize that first of all,
26:33
Speaker 1: it's it's protecting your peace, protecting your joy. So you
26:37
Speaker 1: have to look at it like that. And it's not
26:39
Speaker 1: that you don't wish anybody you know any harm or
26:41
Speaker 1: ill will or anything, but you have to draw those
26:44
Speaker 1: those boundaries at times. So once you identify that and listen,
26:48
Speaker 1: especially when I don't know about you, I'm not a guy,
26:51
Speaker 1: I'm a girl. So we have that women's intuition that
26:54
Speaker 1: you know you've heard everybody talk about. We do listen
26:58
Speaker 1: to it. And you know, time things happen in your life,
27:02
Speaker 1: you know, think back to yourself viewers. Don't you wish
27:04
Speaker 1: you would have listened to it? And you didn't. That's
27:07
Speaker 1: what you have. You've got that secret little intuition. So
27:10
Speaker 1: that's gonna kind of give you those air quotes, the
27:12
Speaker 1: red flags. Yeah, because you want to protect that joy.
27:16
Speaker 1: You want to protect that I had a really good
27:18
Speaker 1: friend on TikTok I call them my TikTok pops, and
27:22
Speaker 1: he does motivational speaking and different clips and stuff like that,
27:26
Speaker 1: and he had this basketball and he said, don't tosh
27:29
Speaker 1: a basketball around, you know, don't don't flip its side
27:32
Speaker 1: to side. That's that's your joy. You want to you
27:35
Speaker 1: want to protect that joy. Don't let anybody knock that
27:38
Speaker 1: joy out. And it's so true. It's so true. You
27:43
Speaker 1: can't get it back. So you have to set those boundaries.
27:46
Speaker 1: And the thing is is that if they're kind and
27:51
Speaker 1: gentle and understanding enough, when you do set those boundaries,
27:55
Speaker 1: then you're going to know that you did it for
27:57
Speaker 1: a reason and you could possibly build on that and
28:00
Speaker 1: maybe you were wrong, but if you're right, they're not
28:03
Speaker 1: going to and they're going to take offense, and that
28:08
Speaker 1: in turn will tell you where they are as a person.
28:13
Speaker 1: So you know, it's a fine it's a fine boundary.
28:19
Speaker 1: Sometimes there's those people that you just have to keep
28:21
Speaker 1: at a distance too.
28:23
Speaker 2: Yes, as they used to say that, the old people
28:26
Speaker 2: used to say, treat them with a long handled spoon. True,
28:35
Speaker 2: And that's that's true.
28:37
Speaker 1: You hate too, because let me tell you, Dwayne, I'm
28:40
Speaker 1: a people pleaser. I am, and so I'm afraid I'm
28:43
Speaker 1: going to hurt people's feelings. And I'm just now, I'm
28:49
Speaker 1: pushing sixty, I'm fifty seven years old. I'm just now
28:53
Speaker 1: learning to set those boundaries myselfs It takes a long time.
28:59
Speaker 1: You know. It's like, if you're a salesperson, you're either
29:02
Speaker 1: a good sales person or you're just not. And I
29:06
Speaker 1: wouldn't be a good sales person. Setting boundaries is not
29:11
Speaker 1: a super easy thing to do because I'm afraid I'm
29:14
Speaker 1: gonna stomp on somebody's feelings. I'm always even if somebody
29:17
Speaker 1: does me wrong, I'll talk to them anyhow.
29:20
Speaker 2: I know, right, Yeah, I've been in them shoes. I've
29:24
Speaker 2: done that before, and to my detriment, still have grace
29:29
Speaker 2: when they don't have no grace for you. And I
29:32
Speaker 2: think that's the key is being able to set those
29:35
Speaker 2: boundaries and let those toxic people know that, hey, this
29:38
Speaker 2: is my boundary line, and you have to get to
29:41
Speaker 2: a point to be strong enough if they break that
29:44
Speaker 2: boundary line after you said it, to be strong enough
29:47
Speaker 2: to let them go and be able to move on.
29:50
Speaker 2: And I think that's what a lot of us and
29:52
Speaker 2: I've done it. I've done it many times in my life.
29:55
Speaker 2: I've kept toxic people around because that's my friend. I
29:58
Speaker 2: love them, so they've been there for me. And when
30:01
Speaker 2: you go back and you look back over your life,
30:03
Speaker 2: like the gospel song says, and I think things over,
30:06
Speaker 2: I can truly say not that I was blessed, but
30:09
Speaker 2: I can truly say that that person was bringing drama
30:11
Speaker 2: to my life and it's time for me to kick
30:13
Speaker 2: them through the curve. And I think I had to
30:16
Speaker 2: learn that behavior because it was hard for me to
30:20
Speaker 2: let someone go because of just loyalty and love and
30:25
Speaker 2: loving so hard. But at the same time, that person's
30:27
Speaker 2: draining you every day and taking everything from you, and
30:32
Speaker 2: you have to learn to be able to first set
30:34
Speaker 2: the boundaries, identify those boundaries, let them know and verbalize
30:39
Speaker 2: those boundaries. But if they cannot adhere to those boundaries,
30:44
Speaker 2: then you have to let them go because you may
30:47
Speaker 2: some of them may turn it around and maybe become
30:50
Speaker 2: a good friend. But you have to set the boundaries.
30:52
Speaker 1: Just recently happened to me, and you know what, when
30:55
Speaker 1: it was resolved after several times, I just removed myself
31:00
Speaker 1: from a situation completely. Yeah, let me let me not
31:03
Speaker 1: center myself. Don't center yourself. Listen. If you're not getting
31:06
Speaker 1: any resolution, no matter how many times, just remove yourself
31:09
Speaker 1: from the situation. Guys, super easy.
31:13
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, uh, you you.
31:16
Speaker 1: Know you may come in contact them with them through
31:19
Speaker 1: because we all have friends of friends, do we not, right,
31:21
Speaker 1: We're all connected to somebody. Yeah, so you know you're
31:25
Speaker 1: going to run into each other. You're going to see
31:28
Speaker 1: one another. Maybe you have a common craft or something
31:32
Speaker 1: that you do, and so you're going to meet up
31:35
Speaker 1: with them. But I'm going to stay in my lane
31:38
Speaker 1: and just just stay in yours. It's all good.
31:42
Speaker 2: That's correct. Boundaries, Boundaries, boundaries important. If you want to
31:47
Speaker 2: have a healthy relationship, you have to have boundaries. My
31:50
Speaker 2: wife and I have boundaries, and that's just a relationship.
31:53
Speaker 2: I remember when we first got together, my wife told
31:56
Speaker 2: me this, She said, I don't care what you do,
31:58
Speaker 2: just don't bring home no new kids. And I'm looking
32:00
Speaker 2: at my wife like huh. And she said it with
32:06
Speaker 2: such a straight face, looking at me, and I'm like,
32:08
Speaker 2: what do you mean, don't break someone new kids?
32:10
Speaker 1: Yeah?
32:12
Speaker 2: Yeah, and so, but I understood the overtone of that moment.
32:16
Speaker 2: She was like, I trust you, don't do anything to
32:20
Speaker 2: break my trust. And I think that sometimes we have
32:23
Speaker 2: to use that same type of banter and levity and
32:28
Speaker 2: our building of friendships and let your friend know what
32:32
Speaker 2: your boundaries are in the beginning. Hey, I like you
32:35
Speaker 2: as a friend. I have certain boundaries that I live by.
32:38
Speaker 2: Please don't do this, this, this or the other. And
32:41
Speaker 2: if we can do that, then we're good. But if
32:44
Speaker 2: you never set the boundary, what do you expect for
32:47
Speaker 2: them to follow?
32:50
Speaker 1: Yeah? You know what? And I think too with a
32:51
Speaker 1: lot of people, you know, like okay, as a parent,
32:55
Speaker 1: you know, we both we've raised kids, okay, and you
32:58
Speaker 1: tell your child don't touch the stove it's hot. So
33:01
Speaker 1: what do they do. They didn't expect, they didn't listen
33:06
Speaker 1: to adhere to that boundary, and let's just say they
33:08
Speaker 1: touched it. They found out what the consequence is, isn't
33:11
Speaker 1: it because it hurts, you know, got a finger. Let's
33:15
Speaker 1: put some place on it, blah blah. Okay, So with friendships, Yeah,
33:19
Speaker 1: so it's it's what's that hot stone or that hot stove, right,
33:24
Speaker 1: you have to hold to it if you set the
33:26
Speaker 1: boundaries in their cross you really do have to hold
33:30
Speaker 1: to it. You have there has to be a consequence
33:33
Speaker 1: for that, whether it's a verbal you know, because you know, listen,
33:40
Speaker 1: we have one shot at this life. Guys, protect that piece,
33:44
Speaker 1: really protect your.
33:45
Speaker 2: Piece, Yes, And that's what's important, protecting the individual piece
33:49
Speaker 2: because without peace, you don't have anything. You just don't.
33:53
Speaker 2: You can't get the joy, You can't get to anything
33:55
Speaker 2: else in your life without peace because you're disturbed at
33:58
Speaker 2: that point and nothing else really works out. All the
34:02
Speaker 2: money in the world can't bring you peace. You have
34:05
Speaker 2: to learn that piece. You can't have it.
34:07
Speaker 1: You can't have it, and I won't give it to you.
34:10
Speaker 2: You're right, a lot of people.
34:11
Speaker 1: Will try to take it. You can't have my piece.
34:15
Speaker 2: You're right about it. And that's bottom line. And so
34:18
Speaker 2: that is one of the major boundaries, and a friendship
34:24
Speaker 2: in a relationship is the piece. I want to keep
34:28
Speaker 2: my peace at all costs, and that means that my
34:32
Speaker 2: boundaries are specifically set to make sure I'm at peace
34:37
Speaker 2: at all times. And if my piece is being disturbed,
34:40
Speaker 2: that means someone disturbed my boundaries. Someone went across my boundaries,
34:45
Speaker 2: and I need to figure out who that was so
34:47
Speaker 2: I can quickly show them the excess stage right.
34:50
Speaker 1: Exit stage right, not the exit, y Okay, when he
34:54
Speaker 1: starts to like fling cartoon, you know he's tired yet.
35:00
Speaker 2: That's all folks, most definitely, And that's just that's just
35:07
Speaker 2: the thing of relationships that I love to talk about,
35:11
Speaker 2: is because a relationship is something that we all have
35:14
Speaker 2: to go through, whether that was in preschool, our first
35:17
Speaker 2: time at daycare, our first day in kindergarten, when mom
35:21
Speaker 2: mom dropped us off, Dad dropped us off. You're missing
35:28
Speaker 2: in that moment and you have to go in going to.
35:30
Speaker 1: Talk to the young ones out there too, because his
35:33
Speaker 1: his his connections are not doing too well right now.
35:37
Speaker 1: For all of those who are listening. For young and
35:40
Speaker 1: you're in school, or maybe you're older and you're in school,
35:42
Speaker 1: social classes, sociology. As long as you live, you will
35:46
Speaker 1: always have to deal with people. Take some social classes.
35:48
Speaker 1: It will do you good.
35:50
Speaker 2: Are you back, Dwayne, Yes, I'm back now, I got
35:54
Speaker 2: a call. Yeah, someone someone disturbed me for a second
35:59
Speaker 2: trying to serve my piece with the phone call. Yeah, yeah,
36:07
Speaker 2: I need to put it on. Do not disturbed from there.
36:09
Speaker 2: So I don't get. I don't get those disturbing moments.
36:11
Speaker 2: But you know, we all have to build relationships playground
36:16
Speaker 2: when we get to middle school. We have to learn
36:19
Speaker 2: those different uh moments and social experience that they call
36:23
Speaker 2: uh middle school learning how to just be on our
36:26
Speaker 2: own and and focus on learning new people and new things.
36:31
Speaker 2: And if we can go back and rebuild those things
36:35
Speaker 2: again and take the tools that we have now as
36:38
Speaker 2: grown people and learn that, Hey, if I just protected
36:43
Speaker 2: my peace when I was in third grade, or protected
36:46
Speaker 2: my peace when I was in seventh grade, then I
36:48
Speaker 2: can really know what relationships are right now. And I
36:52
Speaker 2: think a lot of people struggle in their romances and
36:56
Speaker 2: their marriages and their relationships with their significant other there
37:00
Speaker 2: because they never learned how to build a proper relationship
37:05
Speaker 2: with friends.
37:07
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know. And I don't know the exact statistics
37:10
Speaker 1: on this, I would just say, hey, viewers, listen for
37:13
Speaker 1: a second. Just think to yourself, okay, of different situations
37:17
Speaker 1: that you've been in throughout your life right, and or
37:21
Speaker 1: maybe you know somebody even you know, depending on how
37:24
Speaker 1: this applies to you, and you look back on different scenarios,
37:28
Speaker 1: whether it's your life or their life or whomever you're
37:31
Speaker 1: thinking of, and you think, Wow, they didn't learn the
37:34
Speaker 1: first time, they didn't learn the second time or the
37:38
Speaker 1: third time, and they keep repeating it over and over,
37:42
Speaker 1: And if you think about it, that's a huge percentage
37:46
Speaker 1: of most people that will actually, I don't want to
37:49
Speaker 1: say it's an offense, but definitely if you didn't learn
37:52
Speaker 1: the first time and you keep repeating it, it's an issue.
37:56
Speaker 1: And the reason why is because they don't either realize
37:59
Speaker 1: it or they do and they don't know how to fix.
38:01
Speaker 2: It correct correct they're giving up.
38:05
Speaker 1: Their piece or or let's just say that they like drama.
38:11
Speaker 1: You know, you have those friends who are addicted to
38:14
Speaker 1: the drama, and I don't want that drama. So when
38:18
Speaker 1: I find out that someone really likes that and I
38:20
Speaker 1: see different things that then I then I, you know,
38:24
Speaker 1: I pull that that boundary thing, you know, and you
38:27
Speaker 1: just kind of learned to know what time of date
38:29
Speaker 1: is in people's lives. But you know, there are some
38:33
Speaker 1: good therapists out there and you know what else makes
38:36
Speaker 1: a really good therapist a friend? Yes, because once you
38:41
Speaker 1: get that perubal aha moment in your brain of you know,
38:44
Speaker 1: I've realized that this keeps happening. How can I stop this?
38:50
Speaker 1: Like and I'll be like, okay, Dwayne, so now this
38:52
Speaker 1: is what's happening. Blah blah blah blah blah blah. You
38:55
Speaker 1: know your friends are there to talk to too. You
38:57
Speaker 1: don't have to have a a doctor, psychologist or psychiatrist
39:04
Speaker 1: to go to. But the thing is is that you
39:07
Speaker 1: have to change it. So if you're not able to
39:10
Speaker 1: change it on your own, you might want to seek counseling.
39:13
Speaker 1: But you know what, realizing that that's an issue is
39:17
Speaker 1: the first step. Because your peace is so important. Guys,
39:22
Speaker 1: please hear me. Your peace, you know, going and doing
39:26
Speaker 1: and having a busy lifestyle, it's inevitable. This is the
39:29
Speaker 1: day and age we live in. Keep that peace close, guys,
39:32
Speaker 1: as much as you can. And you have control over
39:35
Speaker 1: that with your friendships, and so you need to put
39:37
Speaker 1: the boundaries up.
39:39
Speaker 2: That's all you definitely do. And again, that peace, the
39:45
Speaker 2: scripture say, is that peace that pass it all understanding.
39:48
Speaker 2: I think that we can get that understanding when we
39:50
Speaker 2: start forming healthy relationships and that relationship with God, with
39:55
Speaker 2: your creator, with your family, with your friends, with people
40:00
Speaker 2: around you. Since we're on social media, like we are,
40:04
Speaker 2: forming healthy relationships online will help you get the peace.
40:09
Speaker 2: But when you find those toxic as I Fizzy said,
40:13
Speaker 2: those drama kings and queens on social media, learn to
40:18
Speaker 2: move those people around because they will disturb your peace.
40:22
Speaker 2: And I can attest to that. I raise my hand
40:25
Speaker 2: because I've had some toxic people on TikTok and social media,
40:30
Speaker 2: Instagram and x that have disturbed my piece. And I
40:34
Speaker 2: have to learn to take a step back and learn
40:37
Speaker 2: that regardless of what it is and how it's coming,
40:41
Speaker 2: it only affects me when I allow it to affect me.
40:44
Speaker 2: And so I have to take that step back and
40:47
Speaker 2: start really putting it in place and putting it in
40:50
Speaker 2: categories and let myself know I am the protector of
40:54
Speaker 2: my piece. I can only allow somewhat to disturb my piece.
41:00
Speaker 2: I allowed them too. I don't have to allow them
41:03
Speaker 2: to you don't.
41:05
Speaker 1: And what you need to realize, guys, is that if
41:07
Speaker 1: you do finally figure out that, hey, maybe it's time
41:12
Speaker 1: to separate from someone that you've known for a while,
41:15
Speaker 1: you're gonna grieve a little bit. You really will, even
41:18
Speaker 1: though maybe it was a toxic relationship or not a
41:21
Speaker 1: healthy relationship, just one that you don't foresee it benefiting
41:30
Speaker 1: to either.
41:42
Speaker 2: I think we lost Sissy, but I think what she
41:47
Speaker 2: was saying is that somewhere in there we have to
41:49
Speaker 2: find that balance, that healthy balance of the relationship and
41:56
Speaker 2: what's going on with the relationship so we can steady
42:01
Speaker 2: the ship. And you have to almost use that analogy
42:05
Speaker 2: of a ship at sea, whether you have the seals up,
42:08
Speaker 2: whether you're using the motor, you have to have balance.
42:10
Speaker 2: If not, the waves are going to take you over
42:13
Speaker 2: and they're going to overtake you. And in that we
42:16
Speaker 2: have to make sure that we're keeping that balance in
42:20
Speaker 2: our lives, being able to know that if I do
42:23
Speaker 2: have to let someone go out of my life, give
42:25
Speaker 2: yourself that opportunity to grieve, give yourself that time to
42:30
Speaker 2: know that, Okay, I just had to separate myself from
42:34
Speaker 2: someone I've been knowing one year, two years, five years,
42:37
Speaker 2: ten years, a decade or two, and give yourself that
42:41
Speaker 2: time to grieve that and know that it's okay to
42:44
Speaker 2: grieve it, to miss that individual, But you still have
42:47
Speaker 2: to take account and take stock of the moment and say,
42:51
Speaker 2: is it worth me allowing that person back in my
42:53
Speaker 2: life to disturb my peace? Again? Is it worth me
42:58
Speaker 2: putting myself back through the truck and the drama that
43:01
Speaker 2: that individual came with? Like I said, Erica wrote that song,
43:05
Speaker 2: It said, bag lady, you're gonna miss your bus dragging
43:09
Speaker 2: all those bags like that. And at the end of
43:11
Speaker 2: the day, if we keep allowing the talk cicity and
43:19
Speaker 2: lives to our lives, then we put a bad position
43:25
Speaker 2: of not actually knowing what do you how to do
43:29
Speaker 2: it and what to do from there, And so we
43:32
Speaker 2: must we must protect our peace at all costs, protect
43:37
Speaker 2: your peace at all costs. And with that, I want
43:40
Speaker 2: to say that I want all everyone to know that
43:44
Speaker 2: if you need to get in touch with us, you
43:46
Speaker 2: can always contact us at on our social media at TikTok.
43:52
Speaker 2: You can contact me at mine at Dwayne turned Silk.
43:56
Speaker 2: You can contact Sissy at hers at Sissy one one two,
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Speaker 2: and you can also reach us at our email which
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Speaker 2: is Extra Scoop Podcast at gmail dot com. And also
44:08
Speaker 2: we have a TikTok which is also Extra Scoop podcast,
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Speaker 2: and you can reach us and you can definitely keep
44:16
Speaker 2: up with us, ask us any questions, if you have
44:18
Speaker 2: any show ideas, if you have any questions for us,
44:22
Speaker 2: then you can hit us up at any time and
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Speaker 2: we'll be here. I want to thank everyone for coming out,
44:28
Speaker 2: and I want to thank everyone for tuning in today
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Speaker 2: and just know that we are excited to always give
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Speaker 2: you the information here at Extra Scoop and just know
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Speaker 2: we're anything but butt bite size. Thank you guys for coming.
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Speaker 2: We appreciate you, and y'all have a good evening. God
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Speaker 2: bless you and continue to stay at peace at all times.
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Speaker 2: Thank you,