Latest / New Manager Conversations with Fexingo: First 90 Days, Managing Former Peers, and Leadership Basics / How New Managers Can Praise Their Team Effectively
Transcript
- Lucas: So here's a number that stuck with me. A study of about 1,200 software engineers at Microsoft found that the praise they valued most wasn't 'great work on that release' — it was something like: 'The way you refactored the authentication module saved the team two days of debugging. That directly helped us hit the sprint deadline.' Luna: That is so specific. It's not just what they did, but the impact. And it ties their work to a bigger goal. Lucas: Exactly. And as a new manager, you might think you're being encouraging by saying 'good job' broadly. But the research — and this isn't just Microsoft, it's backed by a lot of organizational psychology — shows that vague praise can actually feel dismissive. People wonder: 'Does he even know what I did?' Luna: Right. It's like the opposite of constructive feedback. If feedback needs to be specific to be useful, praise needs to be specific to be motivating. Lucas: And there's a timing element too. The praise loses its power if you wait a month. Even a week can be too late. The best managers I've seen give recognition within 48 hours, sometimes even in the moment. They'll say 'I saw that Slack message you sent to the client — that was a perfect way to de-escalate.' Luna: But does that get exhausting? Constantly looking for things to praise? Lucas: It shouldn't feel like a checklist. You're not searching for things to say — you're noticing what's already happening. And the research suggests a ratio: for every piece of corrective feedback, you want to give about five pieces of positive recognition. It's called the 5-to-1 ratio, actually borrowed from marital psychology by John Gottman. Luna: Interesting — marriages and management. But I can see it. If all someone hears is criticism, they get defensive. If they only hear praise, they never grow. Lucas: And you have to calibrate for the individual. Some people love public praise — a shoutout in the team meeting or on the company Slack. Others find that mortifying. I had a direct report once who told me: 'If you praise me in front of everyone, I'll be embarrassed. Just tell me privately, and I'll be fine.' Luna: Yeah, introverts especially. So you need to know your people. And that takes the one-on-one time we've talked about before. Lucas: Now, there's also a trap for new managers: over-praising. If you praise every little thing, it loses meaning. The team starts to think you're just being nice, not sincere. So the praise has to be earned and specific. Luna: And don't forget peer to peer recognition. You're not the only source. Encouraging team members to recognize each other can be more powerful because it comes from someone who sees the work up close. Lucas: Yeah, and that actually builds a recognition culture. When a teammate says 'Hey, your documentation saved me an hour today,' that lands differently than if I say it. So as a manager, you can model that behavior and also create channels for it — maybe a simple Slack channel called #kudos or a few minutes in a team meeting. Luna: It's funny — we spend so much time on how to give criticism, but praise is its own skill. And it's one that directly impacts retention and engagement. Lucas: If we've helped you think through a career move or decision, or even just how to handle a tricky management moment, that's the whole point of this show. We deliberately don't run ads on New Manager Conversations or any of the Fexingo shows. If you want to support that choice, the link is buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. Luna: Yeah, and it genuinely makes a difference. Helps us keep the episodes coming without any sponsor interruptions. Lucas: So back to the specifics of praise. Let's talk about the 'how' — the actual words. I've found a simple formula works: behavior plus impact. 'When you did X, it resulted in Y.' That's it. Luna: And you can add a value connection. Like 'that showed initiative' or 'that's exactly our principle of customer obsession.' Helps reinforce culture. Lucas: Right. And for new managers especially, praising the behavior you want to see more of is a powerful tool. If you want collaboration, praise someone who helped a teammate. If you want quality, praise the person who caught a bug before release. Luna: So it's almost like training. Not in a manipulative way, but in a 'this is what we value' way. Lucas: Exactly. And the data backs it up. A Gallup study found that teams where managers give regular, specific recognition have 14 percent higher productivity and 30 percent lower turnover. Those are real numbers. Luna: But what about when you have a high performer who consistently does great work? Do you praise them every time? Lucas: No, and that's a common mistake. High performers can feel like their manager takes them for granted. But you don't need to praise every single task. Instead, praise the pattern. Say something like 'I've noticed that over the past quarter, you've consistently delivered on time and with high quality. That reliability is a huge asset to the team.' Luna: That acknowledges their consistency without being repetitive. And it also sets a standard for others without you having to say it directly. Lucas: And here's a nuance: praise effort, not just outcome. If someone tried something hard and failed but learned from it, that's worth recognizing. Especially in a culture that values innovation. Otherwise, people only take safe bets. Luna: That's huge. I've seen teams where failure is punished, so nobody takes risks. But if you praise the attempt and the learning, you encourage experimentation. Lucas: So let's bring it together. As a new manager, the goal is to build a habit of noticing and naming what's working. It doesn't have to be formal. It can be a quick message, a mention in a meeting, a handwritten note if you're old school. The key is sincerity, specificity, and timeliness. Luna: And one more thing: don't forget to praise your team to your own manager. That's a form of advocacy that builds trust and visibility for your people. Lucas: Great point. When you tell your boss 'Sarah led the client presentation and they extended the contract,' that helps Sarah's career and shows you're a manager who develops talent. Luna: Alright, so for our listeners who are new managers: what's one thing you want them to try this week? Lucas: Pick one person on your team. Observe them carefully for a day. Find one specific thing they did that had a positive impact. Tell them about it within 24 hours, using the behavior plus impact formula. See how they react. Luna: And for the more introverted managers, maybe try a written note instead of verbal. Whatever feels authentic. Lucas: Because authenticity is the foundation. People can smell fake praise from a mile away. So start small, be genuine, and build from there. Luna: That feels like a good note to end on. Next time, we'll talk about something every new manager dreads: having to deliver bad news to the team. Lucas: See you then.