Latest / Movie Meltdown / 208: Lukewarm Skywalker

Transcript

208: Lukewarm Skywalker · Movie Meltdown

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Hey kids, it's Brian. Just a message before we start.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: What you're about to hear is our fifth annual holiday celebration.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Five years we've been getting together for our little makeshift
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: party to eat too much novelty food items and talk
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: about movies and the holidays and whatever. And in the process,
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: we've really become this little dysfunctional family. a band of
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: geeks and weirdos that somehow found each other. And by
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: my organizing this little traveling road show of movie fandom,
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: it creates magic or horror, whatever you think comes out
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: of this every week. But whatever it is we do,
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: I've come to value it immensely. It's become one of
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: the most important things in my life. Just us getting
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: together and this talking that we do every week is
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: kind of amazing, at least for me. And hopefully you guys.
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: Get something out of it, too.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: And every year I try to expand the show to
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: give us new opportunities and to be able to bring
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: you something new and different and hopefully interesting. But to
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: expand the show, we need to be able to get
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: it out there to more people. And with as much
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: stuff that's out there flooding the market these days, that's
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: really become the hard part. So this holiday season, you
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: want to give us a gift? And hey, I know
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: you're dealing with a lot of money issues.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: We all are.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: It's hard to come up with cash. So I'll tell
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: you what, this won't cost.
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: You a thing.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: What we need you to do is help spread the
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: word about the show. Go online, tell your friends, repost
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: our episode links, write an email to your local paper
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: or your favorite blog or whatever is the best way
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: to get hold of people in your area and tell
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: them to check us out. Even leave us a five-star
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: review on iTunes. I bet there's still a lot of
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: you out there who haven't even done that. And even
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: little stuff like that makes a big difference if everybody
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: gets on track and does it. And all of that
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: is stuff that really needs to be done and won't
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: cost you a dime, but it will really show how
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: much you care about the show. And you at least
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: care enough to listen. So if you're going to invest
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: time each episode with this little dysfunctional family, why not
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: do your part to support the family? The rest of
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: the gang here actually goes to a lot of trouble
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: and commits a lot of time to put these episodes
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: together for you. So if not for me, for them,
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: do what you can and help spread the word about
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: the show. And the best way to do that is
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: to join the Secret Circle. you know i've been advertising
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: this since we began but really all it is is
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: just a network of of you know the really dedicated
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: fans that that want to work with us on this
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: and we have a handful of people on board right
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: now and they are awesome a big thanks to those
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: who are already helping us out you've done some great
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: things in the past and and continue to be there
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: for us week in and week out and help us
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: spread the word about the show and i really appreciate
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: that but to everybody else out there email us at
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: geeks at movie meltdown.com and say, I want to join
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: the secret circle. And then we can talk and come
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: up with the best ways to get the show out
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: there into the world. So message us and let's work
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: together this next year to make movie meltdown even better.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: So for the time being, I'll say happy holiday of
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: your choice. And let's get this very special life day
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: episode rolling.
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: Because of the following special program, Wonder Woman and the
• 3:08
  Speaker 4: incredible Hulk will not be presented this evening.
• 3:15
  Speaker 5: The following program is a special presentation.
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: The following feature has been rated R by the Motion
• 3:26
  Speaker 4: Picture Association of America. It is intended for mature audiences
• 3:30
  Speaker 4: and parental discretion is advised.
• 3:32
  Speaker 6: Our nuclear reactor pumping out one million kilowatts of power.
• 3:54
  Speaker 7: We're going to have to provide more cooling in the
• 4:02
  Speaker 7: containment chamber.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: Do your sit-ups.
• 4:03
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 4:04
  Speaker 9: We'll be back in a minute.
• 4:05
  Speaker 7: Oh, Christmas tree.
• 4:06
  Speaker 9: Oh, Christmas tree.
• 4:07
  Speaker 5: Oh, Christmas tree. Oh, Christmas tree. Oh, Christmas tree. Oh,
• 4:12
  Speaker 5: Christmas tree. Oh, Christmas tree. Oh, Christmas tree. Oh, Christmas tree. Oh,
• 4:20
  Speaker 5: Christmas tree. Oh, Christmas tree.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: Merry, Merry Christmas.
• 4:25
  Speaker 9: Have a Christmas with glee.
• 4:27
  Speaker 10: Here's a little toy any girl or boy certainly would
• 4:30
  Speaker 10: love to see.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: Merry, Merry Christmas.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: Merry Christmas to who?
• 4:34
  Speaker 11: Take a guess.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes.
• 4:36
  Speaker 12: Merry Christmas to you.
• 4:38
  Speaker 13: Here is a baseball that throws itself. If you've been
• 4:42
  Speaker 13: good this year, it may appear on your toy shelf.
• 4:46
  Speaker 14: Do we have the data on what to get the
• 4:48
  Speaker 14: Wookie this year?
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: He already has a comb, you know.
• 4:52
  Speaker 15: Yes, we have.
• 4:53
  Speaker 9: Finally computed the perfect gift.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: Here it is, a brush.
• 4:56
  Speaker 8: Perfect.
• 4:58
  Speaker 12: Merry Christmas to you.
• 4:59
  Speaker 9: Here's a toy robot that goes to sleep.
• 5:03
  Speaker 12: Can you believe the way he does it is by
• 5:06
  Speaker 12: counting sheep?
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: One sheep, two sheep, three sheep. Merry, merry Christmas. Have
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: a Christmas with Glee.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: Have a little fun.
• 5:15
  Speaker 16: Eat a honey bun.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: Decorate a Christmas tree. Merry, Merry Christmas.
• 5:20
  Speaker 9: Merry Christmas to who?
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: Take a guess.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes. Merry Christmas to you. Here is a hammer
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: without a head.
• 5:28
  Speaker 9: So when you miss the nail, you'll never.
• 5:31
  Speaker 7: Hurt your thumb instead.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: Merry, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas the best. Sing a little song.
• 5:37
  Speaker 12: Try to hum along. Entertain a Christmas guest.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: Merry, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas to who?
• 5:43
  Speaker 12: Take a guess, yes, yes, Merry Christmas to you.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: Now here's a.
• 5:47
  Speaker 17: Costume that's very weird, cause when you put it on
• 5:52
  Speaker 17: it seems you've.
• 5:53
  Speaker 9: Gone and kissed a beard.
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: Where is the wolfie? I think he put the costume on.
• 5:58
  Speaker 7: Hey, did you tickle me?
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: I did not tickle you.
• 6:02
  Speaker 7: Well, if you didn't do it, then who did?
• 6:06
  Speaker 12: Yes, yes, Merry Christmas to you.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: Have another little guess.
• 6:10
  Speaker 8: Yes, yes, Merry Christmas to you.
• 6:12
  Speaker 12: Just one more guess.
• 6:14
  Speaker 9: Yes, yes, Merry Christmas to you.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: What's up, and welcome to Movie Meltdown. I'm Brian. I'm Beau.
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: I'm Ben.
• 6:25
  Speaker 9: I'm Lucy. I'm still Dave.
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: I'm Ben. I'm Greg.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: And Fred was a wuss, and he wimped out. He
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: couldn't handle the Life Day fun, so he.
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: Took off last week. He went to get a life.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: Get a life day.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, welcome back to our fantabulous Life Day celebration.
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: I'm excited. I'm very excited to be part of this.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: I love this Life Day thing.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: We're halfway into the holiday special and we are beaten down,
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: let me tell you.
• 6:54
  Speaker 18: I'm not.
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: I love them. I'm going to go home and download
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: some Starship. Jefferson.
• 7:00
  Speaker 9: The only thing that's holding me out is I know
• 7:02
  Speaker 9: Bea Arthur is coming out.
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: Oh, God. And this is the mod era Bea Arthur,
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: I believe.
• 7:08
  Speaker 8: Beatrice Arthur.
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: Beatrice. Let's get that straight.
• 7:11
  Speaker 9: I can see why you wanted to abbreviate that. Probably
• 7:16
  Speaker 9: hairier than the Wookiees are.
• 7:19
  Speaker 16: Wow.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: He's more feared than Boba Fett.
• 7:24
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 7:25
  Speaker 19: Yeah, we're about to see the first canonical appearance of
• 7:29
  Speaker 19: Boba Fett.
• 7:29
  Speaker 9: She's going to take on the whole Empire.
• 7:31
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: They should have cloned Bea Arthur as Boba Fett. It's
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: been Stormtroopers. God, this is taking a scary turn already.
• 7:40
  Speaker 9: It's taking an interesting turn, actually. The cogs are turning
• 7:43
  Speaker 9: on this one.
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: This is good. We can save this special. I sense
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: the good in it. Yeah. He can see it.
• 7:51
  Speaker 6: The special can be good if we imagine something different
• 7:54
  Speaker 6: than what we're seeing.
• 7:56
  Speaker 19: I am still holding out for a scene where the
• 8:00
  Speaker 19: three ghosts are going to talk to Darth Vader about
• 8:03
  Speaker 19: how to.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: That's at the end of Jedi. There's three ghosts, and
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: they're talking to Luke. Did you not remember that part?
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: And then the one turns into Anakin Hayden, and it
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: kind of becomes a little... And it pisses off old
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: dudes everywhere. Right. Lukewarm Skywalker. So.
• 8:23
  Speaker 6: I just think so far, though, I mean, before we
• 8:26
  Speaker 6: get right into it, the person who's put it best
• 8:28
  Speaker 6: is Dave.
• 8:28
  Speaker 9: He's like, this is Not especially, it's more like a
• 8:31
  Speaker 9: weird dream you would have had to where it's like
• 8:35
  Speaker 9: you dreamed you had. the Star Wars Christmas yeah.
• 8:37
  Speaker 20: I used to really anticipate movies so much you know
• 8:40
  Speaker 20: as a kid as a fan that sometimes I'd have
• 8:41
  Speaker 20: a really weird dream about a movie before it came out.
• 8:44
  Speaker 21: It would usually be kind of scary to be fair
• 8:46
  Speaker 21: that's exactly what it is to be.
• 8:48
  Speaker 19: Fair Lucas did everything in his power to make sure
• 8:50
  Speaker 19: that this was just a dream that only happened one
• 8:53
  Speaker 19: time and we technically should not be watching this we're
• 8:56
  Speaker 19: being a little bit we're being we are being rebels
• 8:59
  Speaker 19: right now standing.
• 9:00
  Speaker 6: Up to the imperial forces of Lucas maybe it is
• 9:03
  Speaker 6: maybe this is the dream And every time the Star
• 9:07
  Speaker 6: Wars Christmas special goes to sleep, we live our lives.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: This is great.
• 9:12
  Speaker 9: It's like the Matrix.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: That's what he said, though.
• 9:15
  Speaker 6: Except the Star Wars Christmas special is reality.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: Get on some Starship, man. At one of the conventions,
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: he said if he could.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: If he had the ability, he would track down every
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: copy of the bootleg and smash them with a hammer.
• 9:26
  Speaker 19: Maybe that's why he sold out to Disney and he's
• 9:29
  Speaker 19: going to use that eight point gazillion dollars to buy
• 9:32
  Speaker 19: all these copies from someone.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: And destroy the universe. He's going to take down the
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: internet just to kill people. He's going to buy the internet.
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: He could do that.
• 9:38
  Speaker 6: Better maybe now that Disney owns it, they're going to
• 9:41
  Speaker 6: run it on television on December 21st.
• 9:44
  Speaker 9: Maybe that's what the Mayans... They could do a marathon. Yeah.
• 9:47
  Speaker 9: And show it like it works.
• 9:49
  Speaker 22: You look like a Christmas story in TNT.
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: Will they?
• 9:54
  Speaker 19: In the previous episode, we were talking about stuff we
• 9:58
  Speaker 19: liked in it. I just remembered something else. This is
• 10:01
  Speaker 19: one of the few times in Star Wars where you
• 10:03
  Speaker 19: see an alien race and you can actually see individuals.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: Of that race.
• 10:09
  Speaker 19: For example, every time I see a member of the
• 10:12
  Speaker 19: Greedo species. They all look like Greedo to me. Maybe
• 10:15
  Speaker 19: that means I'm a racist.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: I don't know. But all the.
• 10:18
  Speaker 4: Greedos look alike to me.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: That's not the first time that's been thrown around at Lucas.
• 10:23
  Speaker 19: But all of these Greedos, I can see the differences
• 10:27
  Speaker 19: in them. I think I'm growing as a person. All
• 10:34
  Speaker 19: the Stormtroopers look alike.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: You know, for being clones... Those two were completely.
• 10:40
  Speaker 9: Different in this episode.
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: There was about three inches difference between the two. It
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: was a little short for us. It was a little short.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: They still got the oil on their back. I'm very
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: happy to see that.
• 10:51
  Speaker 19: I don't ever remember stormtroopers putting guns in people's, like
• 10:55
  Speaker 19: two inches away from people's noses.
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: They were gangsters.
• 10:58
  Speaker 9: What do you want?
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: They were totally gangsters. They should have held it side
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: by side. John Boo.
• 11:02
  Speaker 16: Oh, man.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: Put in the tape. Let's see it. I think at
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: this point we were going to get back into it.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: All right, we're going to seal our fate and go
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: watch the rest of the Star Wars Holiday Special.
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: I hope there's a knock at the door and it's
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: like Lando. That would be... Hello, movie meltdown.
• 11:24
  Speaker 22: He could bring over the Schlitz and really turn up
• 11:26
  Speaker 22: that life day.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: See, moral. You're the one with the neon sign down
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: the street.
• 11:34
  Speaker 9: And I'm pretty proud of that neon sign.
• 11:36
  Speaker 8: There is.
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: It's right down the street. It's a lamp. At the end.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: Of my street, there's a big Billy Dee Williams approved
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: neon sign.
• 11:45
  Speaker 9: Awesome.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: I drive by it every day and just look at it.
• 11:48
  Speaker 9: Got it, Bill.
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: And does that sign still light up?
• 11:53
  Speaker 16: Yeah.
• 11:53
  Speaker 8: See?
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: Works every time. Works every time.
• 11:56
  Speaker 9: Did Lucy just leave, too?
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: I think she said it.
• 11:58
  Speaker 9: She snuck out the boat. Dropping off like flies.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: She snuck out through that wardrobe in the back. We
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: won't be seeing her. It'll be a few seconds for Bryce,
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: but it'll be years for her. Time is no medium.
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: She's going to come back older and wiser and carrying
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: a sword.
• 12:14
  Speaker 16: Oh.
• 12:15
  Speaker 9: She'll come in and cut off our heads and put
• 12:16
  Speaker 9: us out of our misery.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: I don't blame her at this point. There can only
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: be one. Of course, I don't know.
• 12:22
  Speaker 6: At the same time, if we talk about anybody not aging,
• 12:24
  Speaker 6: I mean, I feel like time is standing still when
• 12:26
  Speaker 6: we're watching this.
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: What are the.
• 12:28
  Speaker 23: Odds this time of year of getting a Christmas snow?
• 12:32
  Speaker 23: A gift that pleases. A case of the sneezes. Or
• 12:34
  Speaker 23: a kiss near the mistletoe. You doubt the odds against
• 12:38
  Speaker 23: Christmas cards finding each friend on your list. Or getting
• 12:42
  Speaker 23: a box of oversized socks. But you don't stop to
• 12:44
  Speaker 23: think about this. Christmas could have so easily been the
• 12:49
  Speaker 23: day they invented the wheel. Or the day Bad King
• 12:52
  Speaker 23: John was so put upon that the Magna Carta was sealed.
• 12:55
  Speaker 23: They could have discovered America on December the 25th. Or
• 12:59
  Speaker 23: snow could have fallen. Or nothing at all. And we'd
• 13:02
  Speaker 23: never have known what we missed.
• 13:07
  Speaker 13: The odds against Christmas being Christmas are 365 to 1 Christmas,
• 13:15
  Speaker 13: you see, could have easily never, ever begun. The odds
• 13:23
  Speaker 13: against Christmas being Christmas, against.
• 13:27
  Speaker 15: Love being born at all, were so very large that
• 13:33
  Speaker 15: all of the rod should seem terribly, terribly small.
• 13:39
  Speaker 23: You have to remember when you're in December that you're
• 13:43
  Speaker 23: at the close of a year What would you have
• 13:46
  Speaker 23: done if time had run out before Christmas was here?
• 13:50
  Speaker 23: I'd like to point out that the odds against adding
• 13:53
  Speaker 23: an extra month are 92 million to 3. You cannot
• 13:56
  Speaker 23: put locks on all the clocks or chain Father Time
• 13:59
  Speaker 23: to a tree. But whatever the odds, this time of year,
• 14:04
  Speaker 23: humans should never complain. Whether caught in the crush of
• 14:07
  Speaker 23: a Christmas rush, or the snow, or the sleet, or
• 14:10
  Speaker 23: the rain, Whole galaxies in distant worlds would change places
• 14:15
  Speaker 23: with any of you. Because you have a day when
• 14:19
  Speaker 23: love came to stay. Though it nearly didn't come true.
• 14:24
  Speaker 15: The odds against Christmas being Christmas.
• 14:33
  Speaker 7: Are 365 to 100.
• 14:37
  Speaker 4: Greetings to father, who works all year for the family
• 14:40
  Speaker 4: and outdoes himself at this joyous season with lots of
• 14:43
  Speaker 4: surprises for everyone. Greetings to mother, that miracle worker of
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: the home whose loving efforts seem sometimes like magic. And
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: greetings to little brother, usually a terror, but somehow since
• 14:57
  Speaker 4: he visited Santa at the department store, he's not been
• 14:59
  Speaker 4: himself at all. Greetings to Sister, who was so busy
• 15:03
  Speaker 4: decorating the house with mistletoe and then seemed to forget.
• 15:06
  Speaker 9: It was there.
• 15:07
  Speaker 4: Greetings to Grandma, Grandpa, and all your uncles and aunts.
• 15:11
  Speaker 4: May you gather round the table for your Christmas feast
• 15:14
  Speaker 4: in the joyous tradition.
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: And may your celebration be filled with all the good
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: things of life.
• 15:22
  Speaker 14: And may the spirit of peace and happiness, love and
• 15:27
  Speaker 14: good fellowship... which is the true meaning of Christmas, encompass
• 15:32
  Speaker 14: your entire family.
• 15:35
  Speaker 4: What we want to say is that the management and
• 15:37
  Speaker 4: staff of this theater, all of us, wish all of
• 15:40
  Speaker 4: you good luck, good health, good times, and a very
• 15:45
  Speaker 4: merry Christmas.
• 15:51
  Speaker 24: Christmas is full of holiday cheer.
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: Fuck you!
• 15:58
  Speaker 24: This holiday season, join Hercules on a mission to spread
• 16:01
  Speaker 24: the spirit of Christmas and to save one boy from
• 16:04
  Speaker 24: being added to Santa's permanent naughty list.
• 16:06
  Speaker 14: May the curse of the gods be upon you. May
• 16:09
  Speaker 14: the hatred of men persecute you.
• 16:12
  Speaker 4: Until you have paid for the blood of a thief.
• 16:15
  Speaker 24: Fetch the spirit of Christmas and treat yourself to a
• 16:18
  Speaker 24: real adventure in this heartfelt, fun-filled movie special.
• 16:22
  Speaker 16: If you will join me in the conquest of the world...
• 16:25
  Speaker 16: All mankind will recognize me as their queen and adore
• 16:29
  Speaker 16: you as their one and only god. Love me, Hercules,
• 16:34
  Speaker 16: and together we shall reign over men and gods.
• 16:38
  Speaker 24: Hercules Saves Christmas, coming this holiday season.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: Dave, I do not get superheroes. Oh my god, I
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: don't get you. What don't you get?
• 16:49
  Speaker 12: Towerbot here. Well, the meatbags were going to say that
• 16:53
  Speaker 12: if you're a geek and like podcasts, then you could
• 16:56
  Speaker 12: try Tower of Technobabble at www.toweroftechnobabble.com. Then this started.
• 17:04
  Speaker 9: Well, it's up to you.
• 17:06
  Speaker 12: I'm gonna get my taser and put the stop to this.
• 17:09
  Speaker 12: Towerbot out.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: Okay, monkeys.
• 17:13
  Speaker 9: It's nap time.
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: Tweaked Audio, your source for high-performance, noise-reducing earbuds. Available in
• 17:27
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• 17:31
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• 17:37
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• 17:40
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• 17:46
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• 18:00
  Speaker 4: Don't forget that report, Bill.
• 18:01
  Speaker 7: Yes, sir.
• 18:02
  Speaker 8: Thank you.
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: Merry Christmas.
• 18:03
  Speaker 7: Merry Christmas.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: Merry Christmas.
• 18:05
  Speaker 9: Merry Christmas.
• 18:06
  Speaker 11: Kiss my ass.
• 18:06
  Speaker 9: Kiss his ass.
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: Kiss your ass.
• 18:31
  Speaker 9: Happy Hanukkah.
• 18:54
  Speaker 13: We look up at the winter star.
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: We know that's where you are.
• 19:00
  Speaker 13: Our trinity's big and round, so you can come right down.
• 19:05
  Speaker 8: And if our wish comes true, we'll spend Christmas Eve
• 19:09
  Speaker 8: with you.
• 19:10
  Speaker 20: Our hearts will.
• 19:11
  Speaker 8: Sing with glee as we.
• 19:13
  Speaker 15: Decorate the Christmas tree.
• 19:35
  Speaker 25: Well, ladies and gentlemen, as I promised you and all
• 19:37
  Speaker 25: the kiddies, we're going to have a visit from Santa
• 19:41
  Speaker 25: Claus because we're having a wonderful Christmas party right after
• 19:44
  Speaker 25: the show. And Santa Claus is going to distribute all
• 19:47
  Speaker 25: the presents.
• 19:48
  Speaker 9: And the cast is coming.
• 19:50
  Speaker 20: And the family is coming.
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: In fact, they should be here any moment.
• 19:55
  Speaker 25: I think I hear somebody coming right now.
• 19:57
  Speaker 19: I think when I go home, I am going to
• 19:58
  Speaker 19: dig out my Luke Skywalker X-Wing pilot.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: Figure and get a little magic marker. Give him some blush,
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: maybe some eyeshadow, you know.
• 20:06
  Speaker 9: What?
• 20:09
  Speaker 22: I'm going to put a Jack Daniels bottle in Princess
• 20:12
  Speaker 22: Leia's hand.
• 20:15
  Speaker 6: Or just get one of the Death Star.
• 20:19
  Speaker 9: It's okay, I'm being method.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: Okay, you really old, overweight, feeble guy.
• 20:26
  Speaker 19: You protect this 10-foot Sasquatch lady from the evil Nazis.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: Space Nazis that are coming. I'm acting, damn it. I'm
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: doing this for Peter. I am in charge.
• 20:36
  Speaker 9: I am a princess.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 20:39
  Speaker 22: I didn't know he was channeling Bob and Doug McKenzie.
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: That's it. I'm turning back.
• 20:43
  Speaker 4: I know your family's waiting.
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: I know it's an important day.
• 20:52
  Speaker 7: All right.
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: Well, give it a try. I'll set your coordinates.
• 20:56
  Speaker 9: You won't jump far.
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: I'll get you back there in time, pal.
• 21:00
  Speaker 9: Trust me.
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: Can't wait to hear your thoughts. All right, we're back.
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: We've seen the rest of the wonder that is the
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: Star Wars Holiday Special.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: Happy Life Day.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: And to celebrate this half, I brought us a Boba Fett.
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: Since he made his appearance in our second half here. Oh,
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: that's the Boba Fett from the 1990s.
• 21:26
  Speaker 9: That's the reissue.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the second half. Second wave.
• 21:29
  Speaker 19: And, you know, I was realizing I've got from that
• 21:32
  Speaker 19: same line the Luke Skywalker wearing the yellow jacket as
• 21:36
  Speaker 19: you see him at the end.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: Of Episode 4, A New Hope.
• 21:39
  Speaker 19: I had no clue that I actually was holding an
• 21:42
  Speaker 19: official Luke Skywalker holiday special figure as seen in the
• 21:46
  Speaker 19: cartoon where you meet Boba Fett.
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 21:49
  Speaker 9: It's amazing.
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: And he's also He-Man shaped.
• 21:52
  Speaker 8: Yes.
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: Well, he started off that way in the poster technique, right?
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: I was looking.
• 21:57
  Speaker 6: Around Ben's head so I could get the who cares
• 22:00
  Speaker 6: look on Lucy's face.
• 22:02
  Speaker 8: I'm past the who cares.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: Look. I wish I was writing down notes. I had
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: so many questions to ask about this. I have an
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: official announcement, though.
• 22:15
  Speaker 9: All right.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: I've always loved Star Wars. I don't like it anymore.
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: You mean Jar Jar didn't do it? It was this?
• 22:23
  Speaker 22: It was the realization that it really was this bad.
• 22:28
  Speaker 22: I mean, Star Wars was great. And Empire, one of
• 22:33
  Speaker 22: my favorite movies of all time. But this brought.
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: It down to such.
• 22:37
  Speaker 22: And the prequels brought it down to such a low level.
• 22:42
  Speaker 22: I don't know what I can recover.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: I think I'm officially done. It's jumped the shark thing.
• 22:48
  Speaker 8: Star Wars and Christmas jumped the shark.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: I won't lose out on Christmas. The first season of
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: Christmas was awesome. Greg, this is not the spirit of
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: Life Day. Yeah, you're not embracing Life Day. It sucked
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: all the cool out of Chewbacca. I love how he's
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: just staring at the camera. I don't know what that
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: cult Life Day... It got so bizarre. For the kids
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: who haven't seen it, at the very end, the climax.
• 23:21
  Speaker 19: If you will, a whole troop of Wookiees walk through
• 23:24
  Speaker 19: the time-space vortex to the Tree of Life and they're
• 23:28
  Speaker 19: all wearing red robes and it's like a very Jim James.
• 23:32
  Speaker 9: I thought we stepped into Phantasm.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: All the people that said they had to go somewhere
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: else show back. Isn't it easy to get together?
• 23:40
  Speaker 9: I'm looking at it this way.
• 23:43
  Speaker 6: I suppose I'm overthinking it probably, but Trying to think,
• 23:48
  Speaker 6: all right, this holiday came about probably, if it's that
• 23:53
  Speaker 6: important to Chewbacca over the course of hundreds of years
• 23:56
  Speaker 6: in their society, especially since you get really nerdy and.
• 24:00
  Speaker 9: Star Wars-y, Wookiees live a long, long time.
• 24:04
  Speaker 6: So obviously this has been around for probably thousands of years.
• 24:07
  Speaker 6: So why did a religion arise within their culture, a
• 24:12
  Speaker 6: culture that still walks around in the nude everywhere?
• 24:17
  Speaker 9: To where they feel the need to put on robes?
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: Except when they need an apron. I know why.
• 24:23
  Speaker 19: It's because they had to show 200 Wookiees at the end,
• 24:27
  Speaker 19: and it was much cheaper to just get 200 Wookiee heads.
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: Instead of full Wookiee suits.
• 24:33
  Speaker 9: They showed them actually mostly from the back, too.
• 24:35
  Speaker 22: They already had the Imperial Guard robes ready for later on.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: They were also all wearing the matching tennis shoes. It
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: was very Heaven's Gate to be honest with you.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: Actually, that's why they had so much smoke on the ground.
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: Imperial Guards are like really Wookiees, and they're wearing hats?
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: You know what? Like I said, it's dead to me.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: I don't care.
• 24:54
  Speaker 6: Actually, maybe you can put the helmets on a Wookiee.
• 24:56
  Speaker 6: It's like when you give a cat a bath. You
• 24:58
  Speaker 6: get a Wookiee wet, and it's really, really skinny. You
• 25:01
  Speaker 6: can fit all that on.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: They might have been Wookiee Snuggies, too.
• 25:04
  Speaker 19: You know, Greg, it's funny, because I know that just
• 25:08
  Speaker 19: last week you watched for the first time the very
• 25:10
  Speaker 19: first Doctor Who Christmas special.
• 25:12
  Speaker 21: How would you compare that to the official Star Wars
• 25:15
  Speaker 21: Christmas special?
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: I could watch.
• 25:19
  Speaker 22: the Doctor Who Christmas special a hundred times before I
• 25:22
  Speaker 22: would watch five more minutes of this.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: And keep in mind, kids, that special had robot Santas.
• 25:27
  Speaker 9: Yes.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: And Greg still liked it more.
• 25:29
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah. It was exciting, comparatively. And a Christmas tree that.
• 25:37
  Speaker 22: chased everyone down through the house and cut a Christmas
• 25:40
  Speaker 22: tree-shaped hole through the wall.
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: It was Warner Brothers-esque. And it's still better than this, right?
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: It's still better. It had a plot. See, I think
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: this should make you appreciate Star Wars more. Because this
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: shows you what it could have been.
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: Like, if it would have ended up in these hands,
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: if they would have given it to, obviously, network TV guys,
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: this is what we would have had in the movie.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: I mean, the fact that we got three relatively good
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: movies out the first run is kind of impressive, actually.
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: That it could have ended up just like this.
• 26:09
  Speaker 6: Yeah, but I think this was done so cheap. I can't,
• 26:12
  Speaker 6: I don't know, I can't see it getting past the
• 26:15
  Speaker 6: green-lit mark. phase to be, like, nationally released or something.
• 26:19
  Speaker 6: Of course, I mean, I say that, but then also
• 26:21
  Speaker 6: I look back at when we watched Star Crash, so
• 26:24
  Speaker 6: there you are.
• 26:25
  Speaker 22: This makes Star Crash look, I'm not saying good, but
• 26:28
  Speaker 22: it makes it look better. Like, oh, this was the norm. Well,
• 26:33
  Speaker 22: I know, yeah, we've said that it was panned universally, but.
• 26:39
  Speaker 9: I don't know.
• 26:40
  Speaker 18: I don't know.
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: I think what it is, it really, yeah.
• 26:43
  Speaker 22: It pulled back the curtain for me too much, that
• 26:46
  Speaker 22: it wasn't this magical place that existed that was, you know, that,
• 26:53
  Speaker 22: you know, yes, I knew it was fake, but it
• 26:56
  Speaker 22: was real to me as a child.
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: It's not anymore. It's dead.
• 27:00
  Speaker 17: It is kind of brilliant how, like, intricately it, like,
• 27:05
  Speaker 17: demystifies the Star Wars franchise.
• 27:07
  Speaker 9: Like, it's just so....
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 27:10
  Speaker 9: It kind of ruined it for me, too.
• 27:14
  Speaker 19: I can see myself as a seven-year-old, though, and looking
• 27:17
  Speaker 19: past all the weird stuff and just focusing on the cool... Like, okay,
• 27:21
  Speaker 19: at the very end, Chewbacca is having his flashbacks to
• 27:24
  Speaker 19: the events that happened in Star Wars. And they're showing
• 27:27
  Speaker 19: a montage of Star Wars clips.
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: I know as a kid.
• 27:31
  Speaker 19: would have been so excited by that because again I
• 27:34
  Speaker 19: had no other way of watching Star Wars over I
• 27:37
  Speaker 19: was essentially seeing a cliff notes version of Star Wars
• 27:41
  Speaker 19: all the cool scenes again and I would have loved
• 27:44
  Speaker 19: that and then.
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: It goes to them eating dinner and bowing their heads
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: be thankful for Star Wars well.
• 27:52
  Speaker 20: That's true I mean back then you know the only
• 27:53
  Speaker 20: way you could see Star Wars at home or at.
• 27:55
  Speaker 9: Least little tiny pieces of it was 8mm film if
• 27:57
  Speaker 9: you bought it and showed it on your wall Right.
• 28:00
  Speaker 9: There was no video.
• 28:00
  Speaker 26: There was no repeat.
• 28:02
  Speaker 9: I had that.
• 28:02
  Speaker 20: Kenner cartridge thing that you could drop in and crank,
• 28:06
  Speaker 20: and it would show an 8mm loop, and you pointed
• 28:08
  Speaker 20: it at the light.
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the knockoff version of the Fisher-Price. Yeah, the Fisher-Price one.
• 28:13
  Speaker 20: So, yeah, just seeing even little clips like that on
• 28:16
  Speaker 20: TV was a thrill for kids, you know.
• 28:19
  Speaker 9: Which is why they wisely stuck it in there. Yeah,
• 28:21
  Speaker 9: that's what I was thinking at the time.
• 28:22
  Speaker 6: I was thinking, all right, this is the payoff for
• 28:24
  Speaker 6: anybody who managed to sit through this. It's like, all right,
• 28:26
  Speaker 6: here's a flashback to better things.
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: Actually, I figured it was more like the, hey, kids,
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: see this movie? Next one's coming. Start saving your money
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: for Empire.
• 28:36
  Speaker 9: They did the re-release of Star Wars.
• 28:39
  Speaker 20: They did a special re-release in 78, like a year
• 28:42
  Speaker 20: after they had that special poster with.
• 28:43
  Speaker 9: The birthday cake and the action figures and all that stuff.
• 28:46
  Speaker 20: And I'm sure they probably did a re-release for the
• 28:48
  Speaker 20: holidays too, so it was all cyclical.
• 28:51
  Speaker 26: Star Wars played Showcase for like 68 weeks.
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. That's where I saw it.
• 28:56
  Speaker 9: It's back in the day when movies didn't go away.
• 28:57
  Speaker 22: I just have this impression that it was almost like
• 29:02
  Speaker 22: a dissertation that someone was writing. They're like, this is
• 29:05
  Speaker 22: so big, how bad can we make it and people
• 29:08
  Speaker 22: still watch it? Like, okay, we know what people will
• 29:12
  Speaker 22: buy and what people will go nuts for, and we
• 29:14
  Speaker 22: can sell them anything. Now let's see how far we
• 29:18
  Speaker 22: can push it, how bad it is, and then we
• 29:20
  Speaker 22: know our bottom level. If we know that it bombs,
• 29:23
  Speaker 22: then we'll go, okay, we can't go back to BR.
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: I think you're giving them too much credit.
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: I don't think, I think now they might put that
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: sort of thought into, everything now is planned out and
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: so like, again, ironically planned of what, you know.
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: Well, how much can we do this? And what if
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: we did this?
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: But I think this was just straight up bad variety television.
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: They planned it exactly like a bad variety special.
• 29:44
  Speaker 19: At the same time, back in those days, every year
• 29:47
  Speaker 19: there were huge Christmas specials. They had a model that
• 29:51
  Speaker 19: they went.
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: By to make a Christmas special. They knew that they
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: had to have... Who's that at the door? It's Art Carney!
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: And they had to have the... the big musical numbers
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: and all that that was.
• 30:01
  Speaker 20: The regular tv series had their christmas episodes you know
• 30:05
  Speaker 20: yeah well.
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: They all like they ran that kind of stuff like
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: compare this to a donnie and marie christmas special all
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: the time it's not really any worse.
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: This just has space scenes and wookies in it but
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: i think it's just that this hurts us more because yeah.
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: Because we have that weird personal connection because the donnie
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: and marie christmas special doesn't work its way into a
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: big mythos you know.
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: And so that's canon too although they had action figures
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: so i don't know.
• 30:29
  Speaker 6: When ben was mentioned demystifies earlier it just kind of
• 30:32
  Speaker 6: dawned on me i think that's the whole problem with
• 30:34
  Speaker 6: this is the first star wars the charm and i
• 30:37
  Speaker 6: think the thing that hooks you when you're a kid
• 30:39
  Speaker 6: when you watch it is here's luke he lives on
• 30:42
  Speaker 6: a farm in the middle of nowhere and he's just
• 30:45
  Speaker 6: a generic kid and all of a sudden he finds
• 30:47
  Speaker 6: out that there's something special about him he has a
• 30:49
  Speaker 6: cool past And he gets to go off on an adventure.
• 30:52
  Speaker 9: And as a kid, you're like, that's so cool because you.
• 30:54
  Speaker 6: Go to school every day and you're stuck at home
• 30:56
  Speaker 6: and you dream about doing stuff like that. And you
• 30:59
  Speaker 6: get to watch where this person does. This is the
• 31:02
  Speaker 6: exact opposite. This basically reminds us that, hey, after all
• 31:06
  Speaker 6: the cool stuff's over, that's when you go back home
• 31:09
  Speaker 6: and shit's the way it was when you left it.
• 31:12
  Speaker 19: You know, the irony of it is like, you know,
• 31:15
  Speaker 19: he was living in an oppressive time during a war.
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: And all that those characters.
• 31:20
  Speaker 19: Are wanting is a time where it can be peaceful,
• 31:24
  Speaker 19: and you can just go to school, and that's the
• 31:26
  Speaker 19: only thing going on in your life.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: You know, Luke wanted what you had.
• 31:33
  Speaker 6: Yeah, and actually, Luke almost wanted what he had, because
• 31:36
  Speaker 6: it's like he wanted to go off and fight the rebellion,
• 31:39
  Speaker 6: but the rebellion was so people could live out their lives,
• 31:43
  Speaker 6: which essentially he was.
• 31:44
  Speaker 9: Doing on his evaporator farm, so.
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Chewbacca didn't have it too bad. I mean, he
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: lived in a huge house. And that's what I got
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: to thinking.
• 31:55
  Speaker 9: It's a house of criminals because, see, before the.
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: It's like the Anne Frank house.
• 32:00
  Speaker 8: It is.
• 32:00
  Speaker 9: Well, no, before the rebellion came along, they were smugglers.
• 32:04
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 32:04
  Speaker 6: So all he was doing was he and Han were
• 32:07
  Speaker 6: just going off and they were just stealing and looting
• 32:10
  Speaker 6: and killing and whatever they wanted.
• 32:11
  Speaker 7: And so.
• 32:12
  Speaker 6: That family's living, that is not, I don't think that's
• 32:14
  Speaker 6: the standard Wookiee household.
• 32:18
  Speaker 22: It's like the Scarface home of the Wookiees.
• 32:24
  Speaker 6: And so that's why the kid's so goddamn spoiled and
• 32:26
  Speaker 6: he has all that stuff.
• 32:27
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 32:28
  Speaker 6: And then Art Carney is encouraging it even more by
• 32:31
  Speaker 6: giving him the box that, for all.
• 32:34
  Speaker 9: Intents and purposes, we can't figure out what the fuck
• 32:36
  Speaker 9: it's supposed to do.
• 32:37
  Speaker 17: I like to think that Wookiee's just really living caves,
• 32:39
  Speaker 17: and they just found a human family's home and killed
• 32:42
  Speaker 17: them all and lived there.
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: There's so many little things in it that are just mystifying.
• 32:49
  Speaker 19: Like, as a kid, when I got done watching Transformers
• 32:53
  Speaker 19: or whatever, I never clapped.
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: The way Lumpy claps after every TV show he watches.
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: Lumpy's a very special boy. He's very appreciative of everything.
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: As you should be. I'm not. You are not learning
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: anything from Lumpy. Starlog 324-1.
• 33:10
  Speaker 27: From the bridge of the cruiser RS Revenge, Captain Keza
• 33:13
  Speaker 27: Han reporting. We are awaiting the return of Captain Han
• 33:16
  Speaker 27: Solo and his first mate Chewbacca, who are long overdue
• 33:19
  Speaker 27: on a delicate mission to acquire the mystical talisman which
• 33:22
  Speaker 27: has been sought by our forces and by the Empire.
• 33:26
  Speaker 19: You had said while this was going on that the
• 33:28
  Speaker 19: cartoon was the best part. There's evidence for that because
• 33:34
  Speaker 19: in the Star Wars Blu-rays that just came out, they
• 33:37
  Speaker 19: actually have the cartoon as a special feature on the
• 33:40
  Speaker 19: Star Wars Blu-ray. For the first time in years, they're
• 33:43
  Speaker 19: actually admitting that the holiday special existed, but that's all
• 33:47
  Speaker 19: that they're showing is the cartoon.
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: Because that's all you need to watch.
• 33:51
  Speaker 19: There were so many little touches in that cartoon like,
• 33:54
  Speaker 19: The fact that they thought to have inflatable pontoons on
• 33:58
  Speaker 19: the spaceships, you know, it just, I don't know.
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: It was a nice little touch.
• 34:02
  Speaker 9: Cool stuff.
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: That I liked.
• 34:03
  Speaker 9: It looks, the look of the show is so weird.
• 34:05
  Speaker 9: It looks like Mobius.
• 34:06
  Speaker 26: It looks like something out of Heavy Metal, circa 1980.
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: It has like a weird anime vibe that we weren't
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: used to in this country at that point. Now it
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: seems normal almost because every kid's into anime, but like.
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: In that time, the Battle of the Planets was probably
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: all you'd ever seen coming over here. So, I mean,
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: it has a weird look for what we were, the
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: Warner Brothers kind of stuff.
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: We were watching it that way.
• 34:28
  Speaker 6: Yeah, but even our crew, when we were watching it,
• 34:30
  Speaker 6: it's like we were sitting here doing the MST3K version
• 34:33
  Speaker 6: of this.
• 34:33
  Speaker 9: And then when that came on, we all got dead silent.
• 34:37
  Speaker 9: It's good all of a sudden.
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: You can tell the people that made it cared about.
• 34:42
  Speaker 19: what had happened because they saw at the end of
• 34:44
  Speaker 19: Star Wars Luke isn't wearing his white karate shirt anymore
• 34:48
  Speaker 19: he's got the yellow jacket so they have him wearing
• 34:51
  Speaker 19: the yellow jacket in this you know.
• 34:53
  Speaker 9: They understood the universe yeah.
• 34:55
  Speaker 20: That's why I think this was obviously something done with
• 34:59
  Speaker 20: something else in mind like maybe somebody was going to
• 35:02
  Speaker 20: do like a backstory pilot.
• 35:04
  Speaker 9: Star Wars cartoonist and I wish they.
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: Would have because I think it would have been way
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: more interesting even than a lot of the other stuff
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: that's happened over the years I think The version of
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: that is even better. It's still the same people that
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: made droids and Ewoks, but those became, especially Ewoks, became
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: really watered down. The droids was alright as I remember it,
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: but it's been a long time since I watched it.
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: I wish I would have seen more of this. The
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: plot of this one is almost like how The Clone
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: Wars is now. It fits into a nice little tight story.
• 35:32
  Speaker 6: It's sealing the gap between two movies.
• 35:38
  Speaker 19: I did think the characterization of Boba Fett was a
• 35:41
  Speaker 19: little bit too obviously evil. I mean, he just kept
• 35:45
  Speaker 19: saying terrible things, but then tacking on the word friend
• 35:50
  Speaker 19: at the end of it.
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: You are completely out of your mind, Fred. He said,
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: he must be a friend.
• 35:58
  Speaker 9: He seems like one.
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: It shows how gullible Luke Skywalker still is. You're only
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: going to get in my way, Fred.
• 36:04
  Speaker 17: You should have hooked up with a golden girl because
• 36:06
  Speaker 17: she would call everyone friend.
• 36:08
  Speaker 9: I couldn't figure out actually what the whole.
• 36:10
  Speaker 6: plot was I mean what was he doing it's like
• 36:13
  Speaker 6: he helped him get medicine and resuscitate Han and Luke
• 36:18
  Speaker 6: so he could come back another day well.
• 36:20
  Speaker 22: He was going to try to earn their trust to
• 36:23
  Speaker 22: take them back to the rebel.
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: Base yeah But the droids foiled the plan.
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: The only plot hole is why didn't he just take
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: out everybody in that room?
• 36:33
  Speaker 8: Right.
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: I mean, I guess he just wanted to escape.
• 36:35
  Speaker 9: I mean, if he even just wanted to kill them off,
• 36:38
  Speaker 9: I mean.
• 36:38
  Speaker 15: He could.
• 36:38
  Speaker 9: Well, his little departure is a little weird there.
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 36:41
  Speaker 9: I'm leaving now.
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: You know what's weird, too? It's a very see you
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: in the next movie once again. I think the.
• 36:45
  Speaker 19: First time I saw this, after the first time I
• 36:48
  Speaker 19: saw it, you know, there was the time it went
• 36:50
  Speaker 19: out in 78. Was it 78 when it went out?
• 36:51
  Speaker 8: Yes.
• 36:51
  Speaker 14: Okay.
• 36:51
  Speaker 8: Okay.
• 36:54
  Speaker 19: You know, I saw it then, and then, you know,
• 36:57
  Speaker 19: years later, I think it was in the late 90s,
• 37:01
  Speaker 19: I found a version of it, and I hadn't seen
• 37:02
  Speaker 19: it for years, and I.
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: Watched it again.
• 37:04
  Speaker 19: I remember being annoyed that it was a magic charm
• 37:10
  Speaker 19: in the plot, because that just seems so not... Not
• 37:14
  Speaker 19: Star Wars. There is no Harry Potter magic in this universe.
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: Well, there kind of was at that point until the
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: prequels came along and screwed all that up. The Force
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: was pretty damn magic back in the day for midichlorians.
• 37:28
  Speaker 19: But even that seemed like it was just a part
• 37:31
  Speaker 19: of nature. This was like, it only makes humans sleep.
• 37:36
  Speaker 19: So Boba Fett's not human?
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: That was the implication, right? Technically, he's a clone, so.
• 37:42
  Speaker 9: But a clone of a human.
• 37:43
  Speaker 26: A clone of a human of a clone.
• 37:45
  Speaker 9: Yeah, exactly.
• 37:47
  Speaker 26: When they did Star Wars, the Stormtroopers weren't clones.
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they didn't know anything about that yet.
• 37:51
  Speaker 9: They were just drones.
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: That's why. They're just idiots. Maybe it's his third eye
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: BIM mark on his forehead. You wish he was cool
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: enough to have a BIM mark.
• 38:02
  Speaker 9: Yeah, I know.
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: Everything goes back to the apple. It's all about the apple.
• 38:06
  Speaker 19: And, of course, I'm being a nerd and realizing that
• 38:08
  Speaker 19: his coloring's all wrong.
• 38:11
  Speaker 9: So is everybody.
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: But they've made an action figure of that coloring, so
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: that's canon. It's canon. He can have different outfits.
• 38:19
  Speaker 20: When they came out with that mail-away Boba Fett, that
• 38:22
  Speaker 20: was not too long after this show. Because the whole
• 38:26
  Speaker 20: controversy over that toy was it was supposed to fire
• 38:29
  Speaker 20: that little rocket.
• 38:30
  Speaker 9: And then they decided, no, it won't fire that little rocket.
• 38:33
  Speaker 20: Because some kid choked on a missile fired from a
• 38:36
  Speaker 20: Battlestar Galactica Viper toy.
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: I have one of those missiles.
• 38:40
  Speaker 21: By the way.
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: It's all Battlestar Galactica's fault.
• 38:42
  Speaker 9: I've got... And that's why they pulled it out.
• 38:44
  Speaker 20: So it wasn't that much further because, you know, Battlestar
• 38:47
  Speaker 20: was in 78, I think, when that first hit TV.
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was 78.
• 38:50
  Speaker 9: Yeah, pretty rapid succession.
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: Because I had the card that they came on that
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: had the sticker over it because I, like every nerdy
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: kid in America, pulled the sticker.
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: Off and went, holy shit, the rocket's not supposed to fire.
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: I got all excited and wanted that one.
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: And we never got that.
• 39:06
  Speaker 22: You know, every kid in my school swore they knew
• 39:09
  Speaker 22: a kid that had one that fired.
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: It's like when you're a kid, it's the best urban legend.
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: I know a guy, a kid. He doesn't go to
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: our school. He goes to school in Canada. He's totally
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: got one. He goes to a private school or something,
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: and his fires. He's got an itchy action figure, too, man.
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: This kid's rich. He's got everything.
• 39:33
  Speaker 9: Oh.
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: I really, I think the part, I was, okay, I
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: was staying with it. I was like, okay, whatever.
• 39:41
  Speaker 19: The part that really was hard to get through was
• 39:43
  Speaker 19: the part where Harvey Korman is doing the instructional video.
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: That really just, mm-hmm. That dragged. They were just bleeding
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: for time.
• 39:52
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: That's all it was. That's the part I sat there.
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: I was just like, we're watching a TV show of
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: someone watching an instructional video.
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: That's as bad as... Think about that.
• 40:05
  Speaker 8: And it just seemed like it couldn't get more tedious
• 40:07
  Speaker 8: than they do it in slow motion. They would slow
• 40:09
  Speaker 8: the whole thing down and it felt interminable.
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: Once again, ahead of the curve. He's kind of Max
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: Hedrum there for a second.
• 40:16
  Speaker 14: It was.
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 40:16
  Speaker 9: It was. And I was just laughing at just how.
• 40:20
  Speaker 6: Bizarre it was compared to everything else. I mean, you know,
• 40:23
  Speaker 6: because Ben made the comment, it's like it's Tim and
• 40:25
  Speaker 6: Eric before Tim and Eric. I was like, yeah, it's
• 40:27
  Speaker 6: a couple of things.
• 40:28
  Speaker 9: I mean, in the way of just... It totally is.
• 40:31
  Speaker 6: Watching something to where it's bad on purpose, but they
• 40:35
  Speaker 6: didn't quite have it down pat yet.
• 40:37
  Speaker 9: And same with the Max Headroom thing.
• 40:39
  Speaker 6: It's like it's on its way to a lot of
• 40:41
  Speaker 6: different things, but especially within the context of this, it's
• 40:45
  Speaker 6: just padding for the sake of padding.
• 40:47
  Speaker 22: What I don't understand is He's so, I mean, my
• 40:51
  Speaker 22: mom would religiously watch the Carol Burnett show. And so
• 40:55
  Speaker 22: I've seen every episode of it.
• 40:57
  Speaker 19: Was any more of a straight man on that show?
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: No. And he was, he was hilarious. And this made,
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's like they, I don't know. Well, again,
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: it showed you.
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: This is an entire example of how everything can go
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: wrong if nobody really puts any effort into it. I mean,
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: the writers on Carol Burnett were genius and really funny.
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: So you're watching that versus he's just killing... Same thing
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: with Art Carney.
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: I mean, Art Carney was hilarious years before this. And
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: it's like you watch him do what I guess he's
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: supposed to be his normal Art Carney thing here, and
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: I'm like, this is not.
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: Funny at all.
• 41:35
  Speaker 19: I wonder if Maybe when they were first getting the
• 41:39
  Speaker 19: deal to make the holiday special, they were given a
• 41:43
  Speaker 19: block of time.
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: And then Star Wars was just getting bigger and bigger
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: and bigger. And they were like, we can sell more ads.
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: Make it two hours. And then they were like, oh, crap.
• 41:53
  Speaker 9: What are we going to do?
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: Because if it was an hour and you stuck more
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: to the plot, it wouldn't be so bad. It would
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: still suck.
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: But, like, it would be tolerable if it were a
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: 44-minute thing with a lot of commercials in the middle.
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: And you could just stick to the plot and one
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: stupid song at the end.
• 42:09
  Speaker 9: Strictly sales.
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: It's dragging it out. Like you said, they had two directors.
• 42:12
  Speaker 20: And you start watching that whole cantina thing.
• 42:14
  Speaker 8: Mm-hmm.
• 42:14
  Speaker 26: Well, that's obviously a different director.
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 42:17
  Speaker 26: The way the camera's moving, the way the interaction is
• 42:20
  Speaker 26: a lot smoother.
• 42:21
  Speaker 9: Yeah, I mean, that scene actually is like one of
• 42:23
  Speaker 9: the better scenes of.
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: The special, too.
• 42:24
  Speaker 9: I just spent some money and had all the real
• 42:25
  Speaker 9: canteen days.
• 42:25
  Speaker 19: Yeah, what did everyone think of the Jewish wedding song
• 42:29
  Speaker 19: played in the canteen with Bea Arthur?
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: I said there's a lot of other Christmas tie-ins.
• 42:35
  Speaker 2: This is the Hanukkah scene.
• 42:36
  Speaker 7: Right.
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: I mean, we have a very different thing going on here.
• 42:42
  Speaker 6: For those who don't know what we're talking about, they
• 42:45
  Speaker 6: basically take.
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: The much-loved... cantina song and.
• 42:50
  Speaker 9: They slow it down put it in a minor key.
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: It's like and then they're singing about stay with me
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: my friend.
• 43:06
  Speaker 6: It's like a final drink for the road song sort
• 43:09
  Speaker 6: of thing.
• 43:10
  Speaker 9: Yeah again i'm I was watching.
• 43:12
  Speaker 6: I was like, if I ever owned a bar, I
• 43:14
  Speaker 6: would play that every single night at closing time.
• 43:17
  Speaker 9: Exactly. It would be funny to me.
• 43:20
  Speaker 19: Yeah, because, you know, they firmly established in the scene
• 43:25
  Speaker 19: in Art Carney's shop that the Imperials are like space Nazis.
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: And so these are the space Jews. These are the
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: space Jews who are. being thrown out of their village,
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: you know, by the... That totally went over my head
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: when I was a seven-year-old. Let me tell you that.
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: If we've learned anything from Mel Brooks is there will
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: be Jews in Spain. And I put all my faith
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: in Mel Brooks.
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: That man's a genius. The only thing that.
• 43:49
  Speaker 6: Doesn't make sense about that whole sequence, it's like, You know,
• 43:52
  Speaker 6: the Mos Eisley Cantina.
• 43:53
  Speaker 9: You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: But they still mind curfew.
• 43:58
  Speaker 28: Yeah.
• 43:58
  Speaker 4: Right?
• 43:59
  Speaker 19: And they're all real lovey and they cry when they
• 44:01
  Speaker 19: have to go home.
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: Well, they're all drunk and falling all over each other.
• 44:04
  Speaker 19: Oh, and we learned that there are no open container
• 44:08
  Speaker 19: laws on Tantanina.
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: They walk out in the street. They let banters roam
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: the streets there. They don't have any rules.
• 44:14
  Speaker 6: Again, this is going to be overthinking it, but do
• 44:16
  Speaker 6: you think that all species in the Mos Eisley Cantina
• 44:19
  Speaker 6: get drunk on the same thing?
• 44:20
  Speaker 9: Is there a universal beverage that's getting them drunk?
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: I actually thought that during the.
• 44:24
  Speaker 9: We stopped bar.
• 44:26
  Speaker 22: A bartender there would have to know, okay, you can
• 44:29
  Speaker 22: have this and you cannot, because this is poison to you.
• 44:32
  Speaker 17: It had to have been one drink, because, I mean,
• 44:33
  Speaker 17: there weren't bottles behind her, it was just a bunch
• 44:35
  Speaker 17: of lamps.
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: And one pitcher of coffee. They get drunk.
• 44:39
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 44:40
  Speaker 19: Oh, I was also... This is the pedantic nerd in me.
• 44:43
  Speaker 19: I was bothered that Walrus Man had two arms.
• 44:47
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: That was his brother.
• 44:50
  Speaker 19: But I don't want to stoop to the level of
• 44:53
  Speaker 19: saying that all aliens look alike.
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: So this wasn't the same character. So this either happened before. Well,
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: if you were really nerdy, you.
• 45:01
  Speaker 9: Would call him Pondo Baba instead of just Walrus Man.
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: Which a lot of traditionalists do. Yeah, I'm old school
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: because I still call him Hammerhead.
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: Hammerhead.
• 45:08
  Speaker 9: Snaggle.
• 45:10
  Speaker 8: I did.
• 45:10
  Speaker 19: I was keeping an eye out for the extra tall
• 45:14
  Speaker 19: blue snaggle tooth.
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: What if he was.
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: Sitting at a table with the short red snaggle tooth
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: having a drink together?
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: That would have messed up your world.
• 45:22
  Speaker 20: That was the Sears exclusive snaggle tooth.
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: How bored does Lucy look? She's like, that trip home
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: is getting longer.
• 45:35
  Speaker 6: She's doing enough before she even walks out of the
• 45:37
  Speaker 6: building so once she hits the road it is going
• 45:39
  Speaker 6: to be she's like.
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: Oh look it stopped right there's a little I hate
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: you guys in there too.
• 45:48
  Speaker 26: Her mouth is moving I don't.
• 45:49
  Speaker 8: Even know what to say first of all I'm out
• 45:51
  Speaker 8: of my league because anything I could possibly ask I'm
• 45:54
  Speaker 8: just going to sound ignorant no.
• 45:56
  Speaker 21: No no do it please I don't know if ignorance
• 45:59
  Speaker 21: is the word normal yeah yeah a real person that
• 46:03
  Speaker 21: we think way too much about this i you were
• 46:06
  Speaker 21: essentially you had never seen this i'd love to know
• 46:09
  Speaker 21: your thoughts.
• 46:10
  Speaker 6: Why did you're trying to say that in a serious
• 46:15
  Speaker 6: voice you're a little bit.
• 46:18
  Speaker 8: Of a nerd because you said you had seen well
• 46:20
  Speaker 8: i i as a kid i loved star wars i
• 46:23
  Speaker 8: like loved it as all kids do i.
• 46:25
  Speaker 2: Was a Can I ask what killed it for you?
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: Was it growing up? I think it was growing up, yeah.
• 46:32
  Speaker 8: I think it was reaching the age of nine or whatever.
• 46:35
  Speaker 2: What the hell were you thinking doing that? I've already
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: gotten kicked down enough.
• 46:43
  Speaker 9: Anyway, go ahead.
• 46:44
  Speaker 8: And my first date was actually Empire Strikes Back. I
• 46:48
  Speaker 8: don't know if I've ever told that story.
• 46:50
  Speaker 2: I don't think so. Yeah. It was the greatest first
• 46:53
  Speaker 2: date ever. Well, it was. So, question.
• 46:56
  Speaker 19: Were you making out during the part where Darth reveals
• 46:59
  Speaker 19: that he's Luke's father and you missed it completely?
• 47:01
  Speaker 8: It's actually a lot better than that. I went with
• 47:06
  Speaker 8: Bill Santon, who was adorable, who continues to be adorable, frankly.
• 47:10
  Speaker 8: We went on a date. We got in the back
• 47:13
  Speaker 8: of his parents. His parents came out to pick me up.
• 47:15
  Speaker 8: And we got in the back of their station wagon.
• 47:17
  Speaker 8: It was the wood-paneled kind that you look out the back.
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: Family truckster.
• 47:21
  Speaker 8: And we started driving. It was like a 20-minute drive
• 47:23
  Speaker 8: into town because I lived out in the country.
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: It was a big deal.
• 47:27
  Speaker 8: And so we start laughing in the back seat of
• 47:29
  Speaker 8: the car because Bill's hilarious. And I wet my pants.
• 47:34
  Speaker 15: So we get to the mall.
• 47:36
  Speaker 8: Yeah, I'm four years old.
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: I do want to mention that.
• 47:39
  Speaker 8: So we get to the mall where the movie's playing.
• 47:41
  Speaker 8: We get to Turfland Mall. And for whatever reason, I'm
• 47:43
  Speaker 8: not embarrassed. I don't know, because I'm four, I guess,
• 47:46
  Speaker 8: and I haven't achieved that level of self-awareness yet.
• 47:49
  Speaker 9: You're on a date at four?
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah. That's impressive.
• 47:52
  Speaker 8: So I tell Bill's mom, I'm like, I'm super stoked
• 47:55
  Speaker 8: about the movie, but I want my pants. And she says, honey,
• 47:58
  Speaker 8: it's okay. Let's go to McGalpin's and we'll buy you
• 48:00
  Speaker 8: some new Lee jeans. And so we did.
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: Lee jeans, wow.
• 48:03
  Speaker 8: And I remember vividly being in the dressing room and
• 48:06
  Speaker 8: talking about how cute Luke Skywalker was. And she agreed
• 48:09
  Speaker 8: that he was cute. And I guess I was comfortable
• 48:12
  Speaker 8: sharing that with her despite the fact that I was
• 48:13
  Speaker 8: on a date with her son, which is maybe tacky.
• 48:15
  Speaker 2: Anybody that knows you've peed your pants.
• 48:17
  Speaker 9: Right, there's no secret.
• 48:19
  Speaker 2: There's no secret. That's true.
• 48:20
  Speaker 8: So then we get into the theater, and at this point, though,
• 48:24
  Speaker 8: we know that we shouldn't be sitting with them. It's
• 48:26
  Speaker 8: okay to wet your pants on your first date, but
• 48:28
  Speaker 8: it's not okay to sit with the parents, because that.
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: Is a big deal. She is advanced.
• 48:35
  Speaker 8: So we sit up toward the front, and they sit
• 48:36
  Speaker 8: in the back, and I just remember watching the movie
• 48:39
  Speaker 8: and being in awe and just being so very much
• 48:41
  Speaker 8: in love with Bill Sandman and his whole family.
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: So did you and Bill over there.
• 48:50
  Speaker 6: You know, in that story, I hope the thing that
• 48:51
  Speaker 6: is dead accurate is you said the exact phrase.
• 48:55
  Speaker 9: Super stoked to see the movie, but I got my pants.
• 48:58
  Speaker 9: As soon as you.
• 49:00
  Speaker 7: Got my pants.
• 49:01
  Speaker 22: Actually, can you put that in the movie sometime?
• 49:04
  Speaker 2: I'm super stoked about seeing the movie, but I'll wear
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: my pants.
• 49:07
  Speaker 17: And they were amazed, like, oh my God, you're four
• 49:09
  Speaker 17: years old and you just said that sentence.
• 49:12
  Speaker 8: I do have a history with the franchise, and I
• 49:14
  Speaker 8: do have tenderness toward it, but not to the level
• 49:18
  Speaker 8: of anyone else in this room.
• 49:19
  Speaker 9: Can we?
• 49:20
  Speaker 28: Get Bill into the podcast my question for follow up
• 49:24
  Speaker 28: is how many times have you said that sentence since
• 49:28
  Speaker 28: then look I'm super stoked to see.
• 49:30
  Speaker 2: The movie but.
• 49:34
  Speaker 19: Dot dot dot So when you two got married, did
• 49:38
  Speaker 19: you have a little Luke and Han on your wedding cake?
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: I was going to do that.
• 49:41
  Speaker 9: Luke and Han.
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: Luke and Han.
• 49:42
  Speaker 2: Luke and Han.
• 49:43
  Speaker 8: Luke and Han.
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: Luke and Han. Luke and Han. Luke and Han.
• 49:49
  Speaker 8: Luke and Han. Luke and Han.
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: Luke and Han. Luke and Han.
• 49:51
  Speaker 9: Luke and Han.
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: Luke and Han. Luke and Han. Luke and Han. Luke
• 49:54
  Speaker 2: and Han. Luke and Han. Luke and Han.
• 49:57
  Speaker 9: Luke and Han.
• 50:06
  Speaker 2: You know, really cute. Was seeing drag queen Luke, was
• 50:10
  Speaker 2: that kind of a shock?
• 50:11
  Speaker 8: I do remember being really confounded as to why he
• 50:14
  Speaker 8: was no longer as attractive as I'd remembered him. And
• 50:16
  Speaker 8: I thought maybe I was just too young and I'd
• 50:18
  Speaker 8: grown up from the time I was.
• 50:19
  Speaker 9: One to the time I was four. When you were little.
• 50:21
  Speaker 7: Right.
• 50:21
  Speaker 8: When I was little, I thought he was cute, but not.
• 50:23
  Speaker 8: Or maybe I thought that because I was so in
• 50:25
  Speaker 8: love with Bill that he'd Luke Skywalker was dull.
• 50:28
  Speaker 2: He eclipsed Luke Skywalker.
• 50:30
  Speaker 8: Right.
• 50:31
  Speaker 15: I know.
• 50:31
  Speaker 2: She was normal. What happened with you and Bill? What happened?
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: What's the end of the story? Did you two break up?
• 50:35
  Speaker 2: Cindy Cantrell.
• 50:37
  Speaker 20: Don't even give.
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: Me Star Wars. Cindy Cantrell. I hate her.
• 50:41
  Speaker 8: Well, anyway. God. Another story for another podcast.
• 50:44
  Speaker 2: That's sad. I'm more interested in this plot than the
• 50:47
  Speaker 2: life of it.
• 50:47
  Speaker 9: Definitely.
• 50:48
  Speaker 2: That was the best story of the night. Way more
• 50:51
  Speaker 2: entertaining than the movie. Yeah, that's, you know, the.
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: There wasn't enough sex stuff happening in this movie. You know,
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: the kids love the sex stuff. Where was all that?
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: I don't know. The masturbation scene was... Yeah.
• 51:04
  Speaker 8: The Arthur pouring the drink into his drinking hole.
• 51:08
  Speaker 2: That shot went on for a little too long. Like,
• 51:12
  Speaker 2: she poured some drink... stopped I was like okay we
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: see the.
• 51:16
  Speaker 19: Action no I think that's what dolphins will evolve into
• 51:20
  Speaker 19: that was this blowhole well.
• 51:22
  Speaker 6: See that's what I was thinking I was like that's
• 51:23
  Speaker 6: very convenient to have both a separate drinking hole and
• 51:26
  Speaker 6: speaking hole can you.
• 51:27
  Speaker 19: Imagine if that guy gets caught in the rain and
• 51:29
  Speaker 19: he doesn't have a He would drown.
• 51:31
  Speaker 2: He doesn't have to drink. I mean, he can just.
• 51:35
  Speaker 9: I don't understand, like, why he's got hair lining it. See,
• 51:38
  Speaker 9: that would be a pain in the ass.
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's gonna get mad at you. It's a filter.
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: It's like, uh, baleen. But see, if you shower, yeah,
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 51:46
  Speaker 9: You can't shower.
• 51:46
  Speaker 2: You can't shampoo. Maybe I'm just so buried in the sand,
• 51:49
  Speaker 2: he is the Starlock.
• 51:52
  Speaker 8: Kid.
• 51:52
  Speaker 7: Maybe.
• 51:54
  Speaker 23: So.
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: Again, ahead of the curve here, is George Lucas responsible
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: for reality television?
• 52:02
  Speaker 2: Because I was giving credit to MTV for.
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: Years, but I mean, in this scenario, we're watching the
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: reality going on in the cantina. And it's, I, because
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: you asked me if this was like a bad soap opera,
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: but then later, it's all in the same universe because
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: that message comes on in the canteen and in the
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: Wookiee household.
• 52:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, see, and that's what's so weird.
• 52:23
  Speaker 20: It's that whole weird stoner thing about the show. It's like,
• 52:27
  Speaker 20: the kid, Lumpy, turns on his receiver and is watching
• 52:31
  Speaker 20: the stormtroopers watching the soap opera.
• 52:34
  Speaker 8: Yeah. Right.
• 52:35
  Speaker 20: But like, how many levels are we into this?
• 52:37
  Speaker 2: And all of a sudden, bad TV, bad TV, bad TV.
• 52:41
  Speaker 6: He's secretly, without the Stormtroopers knowing, he's watching the animated
• 52:46
  Speaker 6: version of what's happening between the films.
• 52:49
  Speaker 9: Starring his dad.
• 52:51
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 52:52
  Speaker 6: I was watching it and I thought, he's watching an
• 52:54
  Speaker 6: animated version of his dad? Is his dad now like
• 52:58
  Speaker 6: a war hero and he's watching a propaganda film? But
• 53:02
  Speaker 6: if it's a propaganda film, then why are they putting Boba.
• 53:06
  Speaker 9: Fett in it?
• 53:06
  Speaker 2: It just.
• 53:08
  Speaker 9: I like the cartoon.
• 53:09
  Speaker 6: The cartoon is awesome, but you try to figure out
• 53:11
  Speaker 6: how does the cartoon work within the context.
• 53:14
  Speaker 9: Of the Wookiee household and that reality.
• 53:17
  Speaker 2: It's a radical propaganda film.
• 53:19
  Speaker 6: It's showing the evil of the empire and not trying
• 53:22
  Speaker 6: to recruit the young kids.
• 53:24
  Speaker 8: But I was confounded as to why he would choose
• 53:26
  Speaker 8: to watch that while the stormtroopers were there.
• 53:29
  Speaker 2: I mentioned Wookiee's a special boy. He wasn't worried about
• 53:32
  Speaker 2: his parents. No, but he was smart enough to hit
• 53:36
  Speaker 2: the boss button and turn it back to whatever that
• 53:38
  Speaker 2: Wookiee was. Actually, I would say Wookiee's not bad.
• 53:40
  Speaker 9: Stupid at all. I mean, he was just like us.
• 53:42
  Speaker 9: He was getting bored with what the hell was going
• 53:44
  Speaker 9: on in the house. He's like, fuck it, I'm going
• 53:45
  Speaker 9: to watch something more interesting.
• 53:47
  Speaker 2: He's like, yeah, these guys are dicks. They're tearing up
• 53:49
  Speaker 2: my place.
• 53:50
  Speaker 17: I'm bored.
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: I'm going to watch this until they leave. I don't
• 53:54
  Speaker 2: know why he was so upset that his bantha got
• 53:56
  Speaker 2: his head cut off. I mean... weren't they going to
• 53:58
  Speaker 2: eat Bantha's surprise for dinner? I bet traumatized you.
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: And then as you told that story, I was like,
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: I think I kind of remember really having a problem
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: with that part.
• 54:10
  Speaker 2: I was like, don't tear up his toys. As a kid,
• 54:14
  Speaker 2: that's really all you had.
• 54:15
  Speaker 28: And then he puts the poor decapitated Bantha on his
• 54:18
  Speaker 28: bed and he puts the cover over him as if
• 54:21
  Speaker 28: to say, it's okay.
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: He's only sleeping.
• 54:23
  Speaker 9: It's okay.
• 54:23
  Speaker 7: It's okay.
• 54:24
  Speaker 2: It's okay.
• 54:26
  Speaker 9: Very materialistic Wookiee.
• 54:29
  Speaker 8: Yes.
• 54:30
  Speaker 2: Except for pants.
• 54:31
  Speaker 19: Everything else.
• 54:32
  Speaker 2: I still am. I haven't progressed since then.
• 54:36
  Speaker 20: I was pretty grim that whole sequence. I was just
• 54:38
  Speaker 20: not smiling or laughing.
• 54:40
  Speaker 2: But they didn't find the jerk.
• 54:43
  Speaker 22: They didn't find the carved wooden X-Wing fighters that would
• 54:46
  Speaker 22: have given them away.
• 54:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, where was that?
• 54:47
  Speaker 19: You know, Itchy should have made some carved TIE fighters
• 54:51
  Speaker 19: just to sort of, whenever they see the.
• 54:53
  Speaker 2: Troops coming, put them out and hide the X-Wing in.
• 54:56
  Speaker 2: I'm a loyal citizen of the Empire.
• 54:59
  Speaker 6: Of course, smashing his toys, I don't think any of
• 55:01
  Speaker 6: us felt bad when he smashed the Harvey Korman whatever
• 55:04
  Speaker 6: it was thing.
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: The erector set thing that he was working on.
• 55:08
  Speaker 2: I don't know what.
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: It was like one of those little Radio Shack build
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: your own radio kits.
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: It was a transmitter. Again, was I just making this up?
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: Was he responsible for sending out that message that sent
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: them back to the base?
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: That's what it was.
• 55:23
  Speaker 20: That's... You only have to pick up on that. It's
• 55:26
  Speaker 20: not there for.
• 55:27
  Speaker 2: You to see. It's certainly not spelled out. Well, this
• 55:30
  Speaker 2: movie is subtle. I mean, it's got layers.
• 55:33
  Speaker 19: And, you know, we have to face the reality of
• 55:38
  Speaker 19: we never see these three characters again. So I'm assuming
• 55:43
  Speaker 19: that the stormtrooper that got pushed over the edge, he
• 55:45
  Speaker 19: crawled back up that tree and.
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: Shot them all in their face.
• 55:52
  Speaker 19: That's why little Lumpy never shows up in Return of
• 55:55
  Speaker 19: the Jedi.
• 55:55
  Speaker 26: Maybe they'll show up in Episode 7.
• 55:58
  Speaker 9: That is actually a pleasant thought. I like that they
• 56:00
  Speaker 9: were shot in the face. I know that sounds horrible.
• 56:02
  Speaker 2: Every time the Stormtrooper puts his.
• 56:04
  Speaker 19: Gun anywhere, it's always two inches away from someone's nose.
• 56:08
  Speaker 17: That Grandpa Wookiee looked like he'd already been shot in
• 56:11
  Speaker 17: the face like six times.
• 56:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he kind of has. You know what he.
• 56:14
  Speaker 8: Reminded me of?
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: Those alien Muppets on Sesame Street. He had the yip-yip-yip.
• 56:19
  Speaker 2: That's exactly what I thought.
• 56:20
  Speaker 1: The way that his bottom mouth looked like Beaker.
• 56:23
  Speaker 9: One of the two.
• 56:25
  Speaker 2: He's creepy. So to follow up, in the cantina, you
• 56:29
  Speaker 2: were talking about the giant rat. Oh, talk about that.
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: According to the IMDb trivia page, they said that was
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: actually made for Fruit of the Gods.
• 56:39
  Speaker 20: Yeah, you know, because I noticed Tom Berman's name was
• 56:44
  Speaker 20: in the credits as well as Stan Winston, mostly for
• 56:46
  Speaker 20: the Wookiee family.
• 56:48
  Speaker 26: But it's possible it could have been one of those guys.
• 56:51
  Speaker 20: I mentioned Rob Bottin at the time was working for
• 56:54
  Speaker 20: Rick Baker, and he had built some giant rats and
• 56:57
  Speaker 20: some actually cool giant rat suits that ended up getting
• 56:59
  Speaker 20: used in Rock and Roll High School.
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: Which, I mean, all that stuff sort of went around
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: in the same circles anyways.
• 57:06
  Speaker 9: Oh, yeah.
• 57:08
  Speaker 26: They were like five guys in the business back then,
• 57:10
  Speaker 26: and they all knew each other.
• 57:11
  Speaker 6: Yeah, they probably just, when they went to go shoot
• 57:13
  Speaker 6: that scene, just opened up the warehouse, and they got
• 57:15
  Speaker 6: the original Rick Baker stuff for the film.
• 57:17
  Speaker 20: All that Rick Baker stuff, those were all just masks
• 57:20
  Speaker 20: that he had made, and they needed some extras, and
• 57:22
  Speaker 20: they shot all that pickup stuff in L.A.
• 57:24
  Speaker 9: For Star Wars.
• 57:25
  Speaker 6: If anything, that scene would have been more awesome if
• 57:28
  Speaker 6: they'd actually lit it.
• 57:29
  Speaker 9: The cantina the way it's lit in Star Wars.
• 57:32
  Speaker 6: I mean, if you bring, if they brought the lighting
• 57:34
  Speaker 6: down just a little bit, it would have had more sense.
• 57:36
  Speaker 20: But you notice that a lot of the actors were
• 57:38
  Speaker 20: acting the same. I mean, the characters were kind of
• 57:40
  Speaker 20: doing the same stuff that they do in the bar.
• 57:42
  Speaker 20: Those two guys were arguing.
• 57:43
  Speaker 9: Yeah. I mean, somebody knew what they were doing in
• 57:46
  Speaker 9: that sequence. It's pretty weird.
• 57:47
  Speaker 2: Even the Falcon cockpit was over lit. Even that wasn't
• 57:51
  Speaker 2: lit right.
• 57:53
  Speaker 19: Something else I noticed, I didn't, Again, the Star Wars
• 57:58
  Speaker 19: Blu-rays came out, and they had all these deleted scenes
• 58:01
  Speaker 19: that we had never seen. And before they show the
• 58:04
  Speaker 19: Bea Arthur cantina musical sing-along thing, they were showing scenes
• 58:10
  Speaker 19: from Star Wars outside of the cantina. And there's that
• 58:14
  Speaker 19: one scene where this alien on stilts walks over a
• 58:17
  Speaker 19: little small guy.
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: And that was actually a... a deleted scene on.
• 58:23
  Speaker 19: The Blu-ray, and I completely forgot that it was in this.
• 58:26
  Speaker 19: And so I'm thinking they were therefore using deleted scenes
• 58:31
  Speaker 19: from the movie. Why didn't they put in the big scene?
• 58:35
  Speaker 2: I was just thinking.
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: Well, I mean, I was surprised, yeah, they didn't cut
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: in a shot of the Jabba guy or something.
• 58:41
  Speaker 2: Because then you could just use him as a guy.
• 58:43
  Speaker 2: But isn't the big.
• 58:44
  Speaker 9: Guy in the bar kind of dressed like him?
• 58:46
  Speaker 28: Yeah.
• 58:46
  Speaker 2: The hat and everything?
• 58:47
  Speaker 9: It kind of looks like Jabba's outfit.
• 58:49
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 58:50
  Speaker 2: He was just laying around in there, too, next to
• 58:52
  Speaker 2: a rat.
• 58:52
  Speaker 6: He looks like a mix between both Jabba and the
• 58:55
  Speaker 6: attache or vizier or whatever to the emperor. And now, actually,
• 59:00
  Speaker 6: I'm losing nerd points because I don't know what the
• 59:02
  Speaker 6: name of the dude is underneath the emperor who wears
• 59:04
  Speaker 6: the purple outfit.
• 59:05
  Speaker 9: You all know what I'm talking about.
• 59:06
  Speaker 2: His toady. It was Purple Man, I believe.
• 59:09
  Speaker 9: Oh, okay.
• 59:12
  Speaker 2: You actually have trivia from this? That was about the
• 59:15
  Speaker 2: only interesting thing. I like when they tell you the
• 59:19
  Speaker 2: dumbest things in the world. Did you know? No effort.
• 59:22
  Speaker 9: Did you know that?
• 59:23
  Speaker 1: The first one says, the song Carrie Fisher sings is
• 59:28
  Speaker 1: based on the theme from Star Wars.
• 59:30
  Speaker 2: That's something, yes. We learned the actual lyrics to the.
• 59:33
  Speaker 19: Star Wars theme in the Cantina song, the bummer version
• 59:36
  Speaker 19: of the Cantina song.
• 59:38
  Speaker 2: Did you know the director never saw Star Wars? Did
• 59:41
  Speaker 2: you know the director shot himself after this premiere? I'm
• 59:45
  Speaker 2: making that part up.
• 59:46
  Speaker 5: But.
• 59:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's about the only useful thing.
• 59:50
  Speaker 6: If you'd actually said the director shot up before filming
• 59:53
  Speaker 6: any scene, that would make sense.
• 59:56
  Speaker 9: That's the only trivia that's of note, though.
• 59:59
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's all stuff. Mark Campbell was in a
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 2: car accident. Yeah, we already know that.
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 9: So this is an untapped mind.
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 2: No, this is the only other one that's interesting.
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 1: It says the holiday special is the first time that
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: James Earl Jones was credited for performing the voice of
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 1: Darth Vader.
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 2: The next time would be five years.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: Later in 83 during the end credits of Return of
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 1: the Jedi. So they don't credit him all through Star
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 1: Wars or Empire according to this.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 2: So they didn't have any other stars, obviously. They were like,
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 2: and James Earl Jones.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 9: Yeah, we got him.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 2: So, you know, we got that going for us. We
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 2: didn't get any shots of Darth Vader that are new,
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 2: but we got him to do a voiceover.
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 9: Yeah, we're not paying David Prowse.
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 2: We're not paying that guy to put a suit on.
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 2: We got shots of him. You can't read his lips.
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 2: What did everyone think of Carrie Fisher singing?
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 9: She rocks. It was tolerable.
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 10: We celebrate a day of peace. A day of harmony.
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 10: A day of joy we all can share. Together joyously.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 7: A day that takes.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 2: Us Even she knew it was bad.
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 16: Yeah.
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 19: Because it wasn't really going along with the melody.
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 8: Yeah, well, it's heartbreaking because, like, Eddie Fisher's kid and
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 8: Debbie Reynolds' kid, you want something to happen.
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 2: She is a superpower.
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 20: But, you know, I've heard worse.
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 9: Yeah, I'd forgotten about that.
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 28: Yeah.
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 2: It fits this.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 9: Well, that was the best thing. When we were near
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 9: the end and I made the comment to Lucy, I
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 9: was like, all right, so, you ready for this to
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 9: be over?
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 6: Because Carrie Fisher starts to sing and she just laughed.
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 6: And then as soon as it came on, she got
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 6: this appalled look and I was like, you thought I
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 6: was joking, didn't you?
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 8: I thought you were being mean to me.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 6: No then it's not me yeah exactly i gotta say
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 6: though in the big.
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 19: Climatic battle where han solo comes and doesn't really do
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 19: anything the stormtrooper just conveniently.
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 2: He was acting his heart out i mean oh yeah
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 2: he gave it his all man he put the most
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 2: effort in this he actually had a look of terror
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 2: on his face and concern oh no a stormtrooper and
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 2: he's Well, that's what, yeah, you were saying we were
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 2: watching it.
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 1: Like, the acting just shot up like 3,000 points when
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 1: he comes on.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 2: And then, as soon as that happens, he could not
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 2: get out of that house fast enough. Like, oh, gee, Maul,
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 2: it's great to see you. I've got to get back
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 2: to the Falcon. I can't be in the sink any longer.
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 2: I left my lights on.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 19: On the Falcon.
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: I better get out before the battery runs down.
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 9: You've got to remember, I parked on the other side
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 9: of the planet, so it's going to take me.
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 2: A while to get out. Don't forget, you're my favorite family.
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 2: Your family love you. Have a good life day. I
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 2: got to go.
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 9: I was contracted for a minute and a half.
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 2: See you later.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean, you all have fun going into, like,
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 6: you know, the weird portal thing.
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 9: I really don't know what's going on there, but, you know.
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 2: You're crazy Wookiees.
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 6: Yeah, you all have been watching 2001 too much. You
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 6: got to go to the weird space portal.
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 19: Do you think the other Wookiees at the Tree of
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 19: Life ceremony, all these... humans came in, broke in on
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 19: their sacred ceremony. Do you think they're like, who the
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 19: hell are these guys?
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 2: That's what I say. Watch it. I'm like, who invited
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 2: the droids?
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 2: We don't like their kind.
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 4: Nah.
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 2: What the hell? We already had to hear that one
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 2: with Chewbacca telling us all this shit. Now we've got
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 2: to invite the humans?
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 9: No, no, no. Flip-flop it. Flip-flop it. You're telling me
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 9: as a kid.
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 6: When you went to Christmas Mass, if Chewbacca just got
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 6: up and he, like, yelled for half an hour, you
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 6: wouldn't find that awesome?
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 2: I'd go to church all the time.
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 19: Well, you know, when the priest kind of gets going
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 19: for a while, it starts to sound like Charlie Brown's teacher,
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 19: so it's kind of like that.
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 9: Yeah. But, uh.
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: Well, it is funny, though, that you were saying Han
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 1: Solo was contracted for a minute and a half, but really,
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: I mean, obviously the biggest star in this, but he's
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 1: got the most screen time. He's on there a hell
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 1: of a lot more than Mark and Carrie, so it's
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: funny that.
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 2: He bothered to put in that much... An hour and
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 2: a half of sitting in the set looking back and forth.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 2: I wonder if, was this before Indiana Jones?
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 28: Oh, yeah.
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Okay, maybe he was like, if you just do this,
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 2: I'll let you be in this movie. And it's kind
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 2: of awesome.
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 9: Probably so.
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 26: They were just cranking up probably on pre-production on that.
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 9: Probably.
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 20: I remember seeing him in like one made-for-TV movie right
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 20: around that time.
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 9: It was that. Really?
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 26: It was like an Exorcist kind of ripoff called The Possessed.
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 9: Yeah, I remember.
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 2: They just put it out in that series.
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 26: And Harrison Ford would be the good guy in that.
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 9: And that was around 78.
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 26: He did one TV movie, and then.
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 9: From there on... That could be the opposite.
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 6: It might have been that with Fisher and Hamill and
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 6: all of them, even though the performances they gave were
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 6: just horrible, maybe they were even more lackluster than that.
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 6: They'd just come on and be like, Give them their
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 6: lens like, no, no, come on. You got to at
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 6: least make it somewhat believable. At least maybe Harrison Ford
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 6: went in knowing it was going to be bad and thought,
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 6: if I give it all my all.
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 9: Then they just have to do one take, and I'm gone.
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 29: Luke and Carrie, yeah, you all can show up, and
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 29: you all can get drunk in the morning, but come
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 29: take 32, you're going to be sobering up and hating life,
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 29: and I'm going to be long gone.
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 9: I'm going to be at the bar. Maybe he was
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 9: just in the bar.
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Luke was good on The Muppet Show. I don't
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 2: know what happened here.
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 9: Did Luke do The Muppet Show? Did Carrie do The
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 9: Muppet Show? I think they all kind of.
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 8: Showed up, yeah.
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 2: No, as I remember, it was Mark Hamill, Chewbacca... And
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 2: the droids.
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 9: Okay.
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 20: I don't know if she ever did it. I don't
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 20: know if she did Saturday Night Live.
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 1: Well, maybe Lucas watched this and he was just like,
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 1: this guy's putting in effort.
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 2: All right, you know what? I'm putting you in my
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 2: next movie. You two. Sequels. Your clues are over.
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 9: Go back to doing cartoon voices.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 19: You know, getting back to what you were saying about
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 19: you thought that Mark Hamill was a dreamboat and all that.
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 2: I know another friend of mine.
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 8: She.
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 19: She cites Harrison Ford, Han Solo, as being the moment
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 19: when she realized, ooh, boy, I like him.
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 2: I want him. You know, so... Were you at all
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 2: attracted by Han Solo, or was it just Luke?
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 8: It was just Luke. I didn't understand the Han thing
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 8: at all. Really?
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 2: But as a child... You don't like scoundrels?
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 9: It's the bad boy thing.
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 16: Yeah.
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 8: Also, as a child, I had a weird hang-up where
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 8: I thought people needed to be blonde.
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 2: It was this weird thing. It really was a strange thing. No,
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 2: it really was a strange thing.
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 8: I remember watching Dukes of Hazzard, too, and thinking that.
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 6: And this was when you were three and you were
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 6: starting to pick this stuff apart before you started dating.
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 2: Well, again, Bo's a little, you know, you've got to
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 2: give him credit.
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 11: But then, like, as I got older, I realized that
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 11: the darker scoundrels are the more interesting people. But as
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 11: a young child, I thought, like, I remember watching, I
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 11: thought that Chrissy could only be pretty, that Janet couldn't
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 11: be pretty.
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 2: That's not possible.
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 8: I remember thinking, what was that show called? With Jim J.
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 8: Bullock and the two sisters.
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 2: Too close for comfort.
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 8: Yeah, I remember thinking the blonde sister could only be pretty.
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 8: It was just this weird cultural thing where blondes were
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 8: really hot.
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 2: That's weird.
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 8: And then as I grew up and I realized my
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 8: own personal taste disassociated from the media, then I realized that...
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 8: You can't get attracted to them.
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 2: She probably had that Farrah Fawcett poster. That's the thing.
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 8: Only Farrah could be the hot one. Kate Jackson's never.
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 29: Going to be the hot one.
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 2: I'm like Sabrina. Jacqueline Smith.
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 6: So, Ben, that friend you were talking about, was that
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 6: also the friend who had the Boba Fett that shot
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 6: the rocket?
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 2: It was a girl, I swear, man. Girls didn't even know.
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 9: That was actually like back then. That would have been
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 9: the Holy Grail. A girl... that likes Star Wars and
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 9: has the Boba Fett that shoots them off.
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 2: It's like some mythical creature.
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 9: And she has both snaggle teeth.
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 2: That girl told me to take that Canada.
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 9: I guess, yeah. That girl doesn't exist.
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 2: That's what I said. That's your girl? That's a space station.
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 2: Both snaggle teeth?
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 3: No way.
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 2: Snaggle teeth. That's amazing.
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 9: It is amazing.
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 19: So I wonder what other science fiction franchises could have
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 19: done holiday specials and saw this and.
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 9: Said, Star Trek.
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 2: Ooh, what would the Star Trek Christmas special... Was there
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 2: any form of Christmas in the Star Trek universe? Well,
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 2: I mean... Kirk and Spock celebrate Hanukkah. I hate to
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 2: tell you. That would be their holiday special. They'd be
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 2: spinning some dreidel tips. Well, Spock has the Pon Fars.
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 9: I was going to say, yeah, that's what I was thinking.
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 6: That's the closest to any kind of ceremony you have.
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 8: Wait, I have a dumb question that's going to make
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 8: me sound dumb.
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 9: What's Star Trek?
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 2: You can listen to me for an hour.
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 8: This was one of those things that I made the
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 8: connection in my head, but I was like, no, if
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 8: I were actually anybody else in this room, there wouldn't
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 8: be that. So the narration at the beginning, of the
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 8: cartoon where they're like star log, didn't that seem like
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 8: Captain's log? Didn't that seem like a Star Trek thing?
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 9: Yeah, it was kind of off.
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 26: It was like there was a narrator and you were
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 26: supposed to know who he was.
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they reference him as a captain or something and
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 2: it's some other guy.
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 9: That's why I think this is a pilot for some
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 9: other show.
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 6: That's why I got the vibe that the captain was
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 6: maybe the fellow who I don't know had the weird
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 6: mustache he kind of looked like he kind of looked
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 6: like the Billy Barty character from Masters of the Universe
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 6: I didn't know his name I thought.
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 2: He was from Wizard of Oz I assumed it was his.
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 18: Name that was weird he didn't have an action figure
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 18: either when I heard Starlog I thought of the magazine
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 18: yeah actually there was a Star Trek cartoon in the
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 18: 70's was that about this.
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 9: Time It was previous to this. It was around 75.
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 26: It was actually a pretty good cartoon. Filmation did it.
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 9: And they got a lot of original script writers to
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 9: do it. So it was pretty smart. Pretty minimal animation.
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 2: That's what I wish they would have done with this.
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 2: There would have been a lot more interesting story. It's
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 2: kind of what I've said and kind of what I'm
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 2: hoping for the future, basically.
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 1: This is what I said when I was on that
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 1: lousy Tower of Technobattle show. Anyway, I went on this
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 1: whole thing of, like, now that it's been bought out
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 1: and we can open up this universe to whoever, I'm like,
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 1: this is kind of.
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 9: What I hope.
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 1: Like, that clip from the cartoon is what I always wanted,
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 1: and we didn't get anything like that after Jedi, including
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 1: the prequels. So I'm just like, I would love to
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 1: see them leave out, which they're not. They're going to
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 1: work in old Han Solo. But I wish they would
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 1: leave out all of the preexisting characters, just give us
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 1: a whole new bunch of people keep it in this
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 1: universe and just tell more stories. It's like, I like
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 1: that universe, I like the way that things operate and
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 1: the crazy creatures, and it's like, just quit beating the
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 1: dead horse of these same handful of characters.
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 6: I don't think it hurts if you have a little
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 6: cameo here and there, but I think the problem with
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 6: the prequels is... suddenly this galaxy got a whole lot
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 6: smaller because everybody knew everybody and Tatooine, which in Star
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 6: Wars seemed like the ass crack of the universe, now.
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 2: It's like the hub where everything is happening there.
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 20: It's just a real paltry imagination. That was what ticked
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 20: me off so much about what they did with every
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 20: single movie in the prequel series.
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 26: It's like, oh, we're going to get back to this.
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 9: Oh, and then, you know, Darth Vader built C-3PO.
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Remember that guy that we killed off really crappily.
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 9: In all your movies?
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 2: Oh, he made the entire clone creation. Well, I remember
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 2: that was the thing that pissed me off. Django started everything. Yeah,
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 2: I remember that.
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 9: Pissed me off.
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 6: I think it was episode two when Aunt Beru and
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 6: Uncle Owen, they buy C-3PO and R2-D2.
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 9: I'm like, how the hell does he buy... The same droids, 30.
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 2: Years later, and nobody knows. The droids don't know.
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 7: They don't know.
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 2: It's because they're racist. They think they all look alike.
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 2: Another one of those R2. Although, does he ever see R2?
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 22: Because he walks away and Luke has to buy the
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 22: other one. And then he's off and he has dinner.
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 22: And R2' s getting cleaned and serviced, and he runs.
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 2: Off that night.
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 9: Maybe he's just drunk.
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 2: I may not ever see R2 and may not ever
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 2: make the connection. But how about that 3PO that won't
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 2: ever shut up? I think you'd remember that. Hey, that's
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 2: that one that crappy kid built. Oh, but that 3PO
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 2: was silver-colored. But R2 is.
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 9: The one that won't shut up in Star Wars, and
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 9: he's going on about the princess. You'd think he would
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 9: also go on about, hey, hey, we've been here before.
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 2: We were here 30 years ago.
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 20: It's just, like I said, it's just lazy, lazy storytelling.
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it is, really.
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 9: So yes, maybe with the new movies.
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 2: That's my hope.
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 9: We've had that really cool expanded universe and books and
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 9: comics and all this stuff for years. Just let those
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 9: people have a crack at it.
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 2: Give it to other... Again, well, look at this.
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 1: They gave this to God knows who. It's whoever was
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 1: working at that animation studio. It's like world's better than
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 1: most of the stuff. Definitely better than most of the
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 1: stuff going on in the prequels altogether. It's still more
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 1: interesting than, I mean, hell, even by the third movie,
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 1: he's stealing from himself.
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 9: It all went.
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 20: South as far back as 83.
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 9: Yeah, after Empire.
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 2: Lucy, did you go on any dates to see the prequels?
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 19: Did any magic happen during those things?
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 2: I'll save those stories. I went to the drive-in and
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 2: saw Phantom Menace, but... God, at least you can sleep
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 2: in your own car. Yeah.
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 1: Really should have made use of the fact that it
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 1: was a drive-in on that one. But, yeah, that's all
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 1: I'm taking from this is you can see where Star
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 1: Wars could have gone wrong and kind of didn't for
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 1: those first three or two.
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 2: Plus-ish on that last one. Two and a half. I
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 2: like the first half of the third one. But, yeah. Yeah,
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 2: and hopefully, looking at the animated part, if you give
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 2: it to somebody else, it can be.
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 1: I mean, the universe is really rich and interesting, and
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 1: maybe it'll be interesting again now that somebody else owns it.
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 20: Everybody pretends that the Empire was defeated and destroyed at
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 20: the end of Jedi, and it's like, well, no, they
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 20: just blew up a Death Star and killed an Emperor.
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 20: It doesn't mean that the story's actually over. There's a
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 20: lot of dancing and singing.
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 6: At least with the extensions, I mean, I don't know
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 6: what route they're going to take, but most of the.
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 6: Branch off novelizations talk about basically it's trying to figure
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 6: out who the emperor's son is. It turns out the
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 6: emperor has a son that's within the empire. It's just
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 6: he's being hidden by the empire for when this eventually
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 6: would occur so he can take over.
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 2: Who was the baby mommy? Who's the lucky lady? Or
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 2: was it just one of those the force made the
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 2: baby's son? Anakin's mom. She really wasn't.
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 20: Me it's.
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 19: Like here's your new baby what do you want to
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 19: name her.
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 6: I just remember the whole like twist of it was
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 6: like the emperor's son was allegedly like he was reputed
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 6: to have three eyes and so there's like a grand
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 6: moth within the army that actually has like the third
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 6: eye on the forehead and he's trying to take over
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 6: the emperor's ship and it's turning out that the guy's
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 6: actually hitting he has a third eye but it's on
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 6: the back of his head and it's covered over by
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 6: his hair.
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 9: And it can see into the future and all this stuff.
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 2: Was there a drink hole.
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 9: On the top?
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was going to say that.
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 9: It could have been Harvey Korman.
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 6: I remember growing up and reading it and thinking it
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 6: was really, really cool, because they had this whole prophets
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 6: in the dark side thing. It turns out that they
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 6: have almost like these, the emperor had this group of
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 6: druids working for him.
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 9: Oh, that would make sense. It's the whole Sith thing.
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 20: That smacked of the supernatural, whereas the rest of Star
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 20: Wars is pretty straightforward.
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 9: Yeah. This is getting really geeky.
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 30: The holiday special had cults drinking, prohibition, violence to kids,
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 30: domestic wife abuse.
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 2: Don't forget those black eyes on Marla. Questionable. We don't know.
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 19: It was a snapshot of everyday life under the imperial
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 19: forces if you happened to be covered in hair and
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 19: lived in a tree house.
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 2: And the princess gets to be an accountant.
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 2: She is working that adding machine.
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 26: It's like she's working in a hotel or something.
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 9: Yeah. Like I said, she's sorting. Yeah, she's sorting out
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 9: the paperwork for everybody who died in Alderaan.
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 2: She's on the payroll for the wrong. Somebody has to
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 2: be the CPA. She's going over her parents' will. I
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 2: get everything right because they're gone now. Only everything's blown
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 2: up that I would have gotten. They had offshore accounts.
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 9: And by that, I mean other planets.
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, we should probably wrap this up.
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 22: You know what's wonderful about this episode is nobody's really
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 22: going to make it through. Real geeks are going to
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 22: hate us for talking about it like this. And the
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 22: people that aren't Star Wars fans aren't going to give
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 22: a shit.
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 2: No, you know what? I think.
• 1:17:03
  Speaker 9: No, actually, this.
• 1:17:05
  Speaker 2: Star Wars fans love to rip it apart. Go back
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 2: and forth about anything, really.
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 6: I was going to say, any Star Wars fan who
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 6: sat through... The Christmas special will want to know, okay,
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 6: how much did you all suffer?
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 9: How bad did you think it was?
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 19: It's sort of like as protective as they are of
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 19: this whole Star Wars entirety. This is the one thing
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 19: that they let themselves get angry about and deride.
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 2: I guess it makes them feel better that they know who.
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 19: Snaggletooth's real name is, but at least I don't like
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 19: that holiday special. I'm not that bad.
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 8: So wait, you guys aren't the real Star Wars fans?
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 1: No.
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 2: I know. Sadly, there's deeper basements. That's the thing.
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 1: We're pretty big geeks, but there are hardcore people out
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 1: there that put us to shame.
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 2: And I don't pretend that we're any.
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 19: The minute I saw the Stormtroopers walk in and they
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 19: didn't look the right height, I was thinking, well, they're
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 19: obviously cosplayers from the convention.
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 16: Okay.
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 2: And, you know, they just come along to be part
• 1:18:21
  Speaker 2: of the show.
• 1:18:21
  Speaker 6: Yeah, Lucy, if you want to see the step below us,
• 1:18:23
  Speaker 6: just go to YouTube and type in Triumph Star Wars line.
• 1:18:29
  Speaker 9: And then the people that he interviews.
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 2: They're waiting to get in to see Star Wars and
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 2: he's interviewing them. Bunny ears.
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 28: What time is your mother picking you up?
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think the.
• 1:18:44
  Speaker 9: Best joke is, like, I've got some trivia for you.
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 6: All right, what is the substance that Han Solo was
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 6: frozen in?
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 9: And the whole crowd shouts carbonite. It's like, no, I'm sorry.
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 9: The correct answer was, who gives a fuck?
• 1:18:57
  Speaker 2: He speaks for the rest of the world.
• 1:18:59
  Speaker 19: I love it when a guy cosplays as a Spock.
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 19: and he's down there, and he's just walking by, and
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 19: he's flipping them all.
• 1:19:09
  Speaker 2: Oh, the geek tribes. Always at war.
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 1: So, again, we will go back to our soundtrack for
• 1:19:16
  Speaker 1: the evening. The final one on this is the meaning
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 1: of Christmas.
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 2: I mean, do we need to? We've tapped into that here, right?
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 2: I mean... Christmas or Life Day, yeah. This is Christmas.
• 1:19:28
  Speaker 2: We've already covered this. This is a Christmas album.
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 1: It has nothing to do with the special, but it's
• 1:19:34
  Speaker 1: a holiday-themed Star Wars album.
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 2: It's serving as our soundtrack, so... Hold on. I.
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 19: The whole reason they said Holiday Special and Life Day
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 19: was because they didn't want to peg it down to
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 19: any particular holiday.
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 2: But here they are. In 1980, they didn't give a
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 2: rat's ass. They put up the Christmas and the Stars album.
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 9: Two years makes a difference.
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 15: Yeah.
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 22: Because if they said Holiday Album, you'd think it was
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 22: from the special and you'd never buy it.
• 1:19:57
  Speaker 20: Yeah.
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 2: That's probably what it is.
• 1:19:59
  Speaker 19: But I need the Bea Arthur song to play in
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 19: my bar to make people leave at the end of
• 1:20:03
  Speaker 19: the night.
• 1:20:04
  Speaker 9: You can go find that on your own. I want
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 9: the Bea Arthur single.
• 1:20:06
  Speaker 2: Again, you just show them the movie and they'll leave.
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:20:10
  Speaker 2: But it's not available on TV. Why? I'll get that
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 2: Starship single on iTunes later. Is Starship on that album? No.
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 2: It has nothing to do with the special.
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 6: I guarantee you look around online and some geek has
• 1:20:27
  Speaker 6: done it.
• 1:20:28
  Speaker 9: It's Star Wars. It is there.
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 2: It is.
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 6: They've cleaned it up and, you know, it's there.
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 2: All right. Any last holiday wishes?
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 9: Happy Life Day. That's what I'm saying.
• 1:20:42
  Speaker 2: Happy Life Day, everybody.
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 22: I'm just going to call it Life Day from now on.
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 9: That's what I'm saying.
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 2: Yoda blesses everyone. Instead of all this crazy season's greetings,
• 1:20:48
  Speaker 2: we'll just roll it all into Life Day. So, Happy
• 1:20:50
  Speaker 2: Life Day.
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 19: I wonder how early Life Day sales happen in this universe.
• 1:20:55
  Speaker 2: If they bring it out before Halloween, I'm going to
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 2: kill someone. Before Space Halloween.
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 8: God.
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 2: Space Halloween. So obnoxious. I think in Star Wars, people
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 2: just dress up like humans for Space Halloween. You know,
• 1:21:07
  Speaker 2: all the aliens, they.
• 1:21:09
  Speaker 19: And, of course, it's like a human mask and then
• 1:21:12
  Speaker 19: a plastic suit that says human on it.
• 1:21:14
  Speaker 2: It says there's a Skywalker on it. They're like, look
• 1:21:17
  Speaker 2: how pretty I am.
• 1:21:19
  Speaker 9: They might have a really fun Halloween party on a
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 9: Death Star. Think about that. That would be fun.
• 1:21:24
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 1:21:24
  Speaker 2: We had, this Halloween, we had....
• 1:21:28
  Speaker 22: Two Jawa costumes ready to go for my kids. They'd
• 1:21:32
  Speaker 22: be perfect height. I was like, you get to have guns.
• 1:21:35
  Speaker 22: And my daughter was all for it. She was going
• 1:21:37
  Speaker 22: to be the tall one, not the short one. And
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 22: my son wouldn't do it. He didn't like that the
• 1:21:42
  Speaker 22: mask lit up. And I was like, that's the whole
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 22: reason to buy the mask.
• 1:21:45
  Speaker 9: It lights up. Are you sure he's your son?
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 8: Right.
• 1:21:48
  Speaker 16: Right.
• 1:21:48
  Speaker 2: He might be the emperor's son. Check for that eye.
• 1:21:50
  Speaker 9: Well, he did.
• 1:21:51
  Speaker 2: And then.
• 1:21:52
  Speaker 9: Shave his head. Go home and shave your son's head.
• 1:21:55
  Speaker 2: That's part of the cult ritual.
• 1:21:57
  Speaker 9: And he's like, dad, why? Because it's Christmas. That's right.
• 1:22:00
  Speaker 2: Put on this red robe. Well, I wanted to get him.
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 2: I said, well, we've got the Boba Fett costume over here.
• 1:22:05
  Speaker 2: Would you like to get that?
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 22: And he picked the Jango Fett costume instead.
• 1:22:09
  Speaker 2: And so I might have to take him in for evaluation. Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:22:14
  Speaker 2: He likes him better because he has two guns.
• 1:22:17
  Speaker 9: That's a good reason.
• 1:22:19
  Speaker 22: And he said that he essentially defeats Obi-Wan Kenobi, whereas
• 1:22:25
  Speaker 22: Boba Fett just died.
• 1:22:27
  Speaker 9: Boba died with pretty ignominious death.
• 1:22:29
  Speaker 19: You know, in that cartoon when Boba Fett's coming aboard
• 1:22:33
  Speaker 19: the Falcon and he meets.
• 1:22:34
  Speaker 2: Chewbacca, he's like, I am a Fred.
• 1:22:37
  Speaker 19: You'd think Chewbacca would have gotten a clue from the
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 19: Wookiee pelts that.
• 1:22:41
  Speaker 2: Were hanging on.
• 1:22:43
  Speaker 22: And why isn't the guy that's training to be a
• 1:22:47
  Speaker 22: Jedi have some clue that this guy's a bad guy?
• 1:22:51
  Speaker 2: You're a trusted and faithful friend. Don't put Luke in charge.
• 1:22:56
  Speaker 2: He's not ready yet. He needs more training.
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 9: Greg's going to go home and he's going to be
• 1:23:00
  Speaker 9: asking his son, do you want to watch a movie? Sure,
• 1:23:03
  Speaker 9: let's watch a Star Wars movie. And you'll sit out
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 9: Empire Strikes Back. and you're going to sit out Revenge
• 1:23:07
  Speaker 9: of the Sith. You're just going to sit there and
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 9: just bullets of sweat are just going to be running
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 9: down your face.
• 1:23:14
  Speaker 2: No, actually, I like Revenge of the Sith. If it's
• 1:23:17
  Speaker 2: not that mess, that'd be different. Yeah, it's not that
• 1:23:19
  Speaker 2: type of film.
• 1:23:20
  Speaker 9: There's a lot more going on.
• 1:23:21
  Speaker 22: I mean, the first 40 minutes of Revenge of the
• 1:23:25
  Speaker 22: Sith is just adventure, nonstop.
• 1:23:27
  Speaker 2: Then you get to the love story shit. I hate
• 1:23:29
  Speaker 2: the law of the craft. But that's at the end.
• 1:23:31
  Speaker 22: Like I said, the first 40 minutes when they're on
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 22: the ship that's going down.
• 1:23:36
  Speaker 2: It's a pretty interesting stuff. I like when Anakin turns.
• 1:23:38
  Speaker 9: He's kind of dark.
• 1:23:39
  Speaker 2: I like when it gets that grim. I still don't
• 1:23:42
  Speaker 2: know why. I don't know why he turns.
• 1:23:46
  Speaker 6: Well, see, and the only problem with that movie is
• 1:23:48
  Speaker 6: there's too much going on. It's like, we've got to
• 1:23:51
  Speaker 6: wrap up all these movies.
• 1:23:52
  Speaker 9: It's like, yeah.
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 2: I mean, I know why.
• 1:23:54
  Speaker 9: It's just, it's bad. I feel more like Revenge of
• 1:23:57
  Speaker 9: the Sith is where.
• 1:23:58
  Speaker 2: The prequel should have started.
• 1:23:59
  Speaker 9: Speaking of wrapping up.
• 1:24:00
  Speaker 2: Speaking of wrapping up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lucy's already getting
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 2: up and walking away. She's like, I've had enough of this.
• 1:24:06
  Speaker 20: I disqualify myself because I never even saw that film.
• 1:24:09
  Speaker 8: Oh?
• 1:24:10
  Speaker 9: I saw like five minutes of it.
• 1:24:11
  Speaker 2: It's the better of the three.
• 1:24:13
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 2: Definitely. Yeah, basically it is.
• 1:24:16
  Speaker 9: It's the best thing at the Golden Corral.
• 1:24:18
  Speaker 20: I walked into the theater and I saw Obi-Wan riding
• 1:24:21
  Speaker 20: a big lizard and I turned around.
• 1:24:24
  Speaker 9: And I walked back in and I saw the.
• 1:24:25
  Speaker 2: Whole Darth Vader, no business.
• 1:24:28
  Speaker 9: And I turned back around.
• 1:24:29
  Speaker 2: Well, you were done at that point. So you're going
• 1:24:32
  Speaker 2: to wrap up the Captain's Log here?
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 9: Oh, yeah. Captain's Log.
• 1:24:36
  Speaker 2: Otherwise, that about does it. We will return next week.
• 1:24:38
  Speaker 2: Same geek time, same geek feed. Thanks for listening.
• 1:24:40
  Speaker 9: Happy Holidays.
• 1:24:42
  Speaker 16: Happy Life Day.
• 1:24:43
  Speaker 23: I think he means Christmas.
• 1:24:46
  Speaker 10: But, Mr.
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 23: Claus, pardon me for asking, but what does Christmas really mean?
• 1:24:52
  Speaker 23: Could you explain it to me?
• 1:24:54
  Speaker 1: Of course, I would be happy to.
• 1:24:57
  Speaker 7: The meaning of Christmas.
• 1:25:06
  Speaker 2: Christmas is a.
• 1:25:08
  Speaker 15: Time for joy.
• 1:25:13
  Speaker 2: Christmas is a world of snow. Christmas is your own fate.
• 1:25:23
  Speaker 10: And as any child.
• 1:25:30
  Speaker 2: Can see, Christmas.
• 1:25:34
  Speaker 6: Needs a Christmas tree.
• 1:25:41
  Speaker 1: Thinking tiny nights with family.
• 1:25:46
  Speaker 7: Close at hand.
• 1:25:51
  Speaker 15: Christmas rings on every door. Christmas carols by the store.
• 1:26:03
  Speaker 2: Christmas is a.
• 1:26:05
  Speaker 7: Time for peace and love. When we say.
• 1:26:18
  Speaker 2: I can love you.
• 1:26:22
  Speaker 13: My gift to you is that I do.
• 1:26:30
  Speaker 15: Will you all say with me to each other?
• 1:26:36
  Speaker 7: I can love you. My gift to you is that
• 1:26:51
  Speaker 7: I do, I do.
• 1:26:55
  Speaker 9: So that's it.
• 1:26:56
  Speaker 23: Christmas is the feeling we get this year when we
• 1:26:58
  Speaker 23: care for each other.
• 1:27:00
  Speaker 2: Not only this year, but every year.
• 1:27:04
  Speaker 8: As far back as anyone can remember.
• 1:27:07
  Speaker 2: And way into the future.
• 1:27:09
  Speaker 9: For different peoples, on different planets... But.
• 1:27:13
  Speaker 23: The best Christmas gift is always the same.
• 1:27:18
  Speaker 2: I can love you.
• 1:27:22
  Speaker 7: My gift to you is that I do.
• 1:27:30
  Speaker 8: Will you all send.
• 1:27:33
  Speaker 7: With me to each other? I can't love you. My
• 1:27:46
  Speaker 7: gift to you is that I do.
• 1:27:53
  Speaker 2: I do.
• 1:27:54
  Speaker 23: So you see, the happiness your toys bring to children
• 1:27:57
  Speaker 23: all over.
• 1:27:58
  Speaker 7: The galaxy is your gift.
• 1:28:00
  Speaker 2: Not a feeling.
• 1:28:02
  Speaker 31: Can compare to a moment filled with care. For a
• 1:28:10
  Speaker 31: gift of love will live and never last.
• 1:28:17
  Speaker 8: That is the meaning of Christmas music.
• 1:28:27
  Speaker 13: And Christmas and Christmas.
• 1:28:41
  Speaker 23: I suppose we will have to wait a whole year
• 1:28:45
  Speaker 23: before it comes round again.
• 1:28:48
  Speaker 9: That's true.
• 1:28:50
  Speaker 23: But maybe someday, every day will be like Christmas.
• 1:28:53
  Speaker 1: Wouldn't that be wonderful?
• 1:28:58
  Speaker 15: Every day a day of joy Every day.
• 1:29:05
  Speaker 31: A time for cheer Every day a special feeling Lasting
• 1:29:13
  Speaker 31: all the year Special kind of Christmas pride Special feeling
• 1:29:25
  Speaker 31: deep inside.
• 1:29:26
  Speaker 2: Writing every line and every part of life.
• 1:29:27
  Speaker 7: Christmas music everywhere. Singing in the clear night air. Christmas
• 1:29:29
  Speaker 7: gives a time for peace and love. Every day a
• 1:29:54
  Speaker 7: day of joy, every day a time for cheer.
• 1:30:06
  Speaker 2: Every day a.
• 1:30:07
  Speaker 7: Special feeling lasting all my years. Special kind of Christmas pride.
• 1:30:14
  Speaker 2: Special feeling deep inside.
• 1:30:16
  Speaker 7: Breaking every heart and every heart. Every bar of love.
• 1:30:31
  Speaker 7: Christmas music everywhere. Singing in the clean air. Christmas is
• 1:30:33
  Speaker 7: the time for Easter fun. Merry Christmas, everyone. And may
• 1:31:39
  Speaker 7: the force be with you always.
• 1:31:41
  Speaker 1: We can move that table out of the way so
• 1:31:42
  Speaker 1: we can actually hear your thoughts.
• 1:31:52
  Speaker 2: Sound whoopees.
• 1:31:58
  Speaker 3: This episode is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and
• 1:32:00
  Speaker 3: edited by the Auditude Studios, with opening music performed by
• 1:32:04
  Speaker 3: the Empires. For more on how to sponsor or support
• 1:32:06
  Speaker 3: the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com.
• 1:32:09
  Speaker 1: Talk hard!